San Francisco "Cleans Up” for the President of China | Allyson Felix

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From New York City, the only city in America. It's the show that you tend you news. This is The Daily Show with your host last late June.

You're my thousand Welcome to the Daily Show. I'm your host Jones.

Whoa and let me tell y'all, I have been having the time of my life hosting this week. I don't even care that I lost three thousand dollars for the swear.

Jar that jar, but we got a great show for you tonight. So let's get to these headlines.

Guys.

Let's kick things off with some big diplomatic news. The President of China is in the United States for the first time since twenty seventeen.

Now, this is a big deal for.

China and the United States, but it's a really big deal for the city of San Francisco.

Because the world leaders are coming into town. San Francisco has suddenly decided to clean up the city. Contractors and maintenance crews not only sweeping streets and getting rid of trash and drug paraphernalia, but officials in law enforcement also removing people, many homeless reportedly being moved out of the areas where they might be seen.

I know folks say, oh, they're just cleaning up this place because all those fancy leaders are coming into town.

That's true, because it's.

True obviously anytime you put on an event, by definition, you know you have people over your house.

You're going to clean up the house.

You're gonna make sure.

The kids make their bets.

You don't take the socks, you know, let's put them in the drawer in the hamper.

Homeless people don't have a hamper.

Did mister slick just say he's hiding the homeless people like you throw dirty socks into the hamper, clean your room up, China's coming over.

What I have a crazy idea.

What if instead of just moving the homeless into shelters when company comes over, how about they have.

A home to sleep in all the time.

And I know, I know you think it's crazy to give a homeless person a house, but it's been proven time again that if you just give someone a home to live in, it's actually cheaper than.

Keeping them on the streets.

And don't tell me, don't tell me that you don't have enough empty houses, because I watch house hunters all the time and as at least two empty houses for every picky ass.

Couple looking for a place.

Let's move on to some news about the United States Postal Service, which just announced that they lost six point five.

Billion dollars this year.

I don't understand why Why are they sending the bills through the mail? Why don't the post Office just throw away the mail? You know they're the post Office, but seriously, can we stop picking on the Postal Service? Why is they the only government agency we expect to make money from. Why they provide a vital services to Americans? People who cares if they're not profitable. No one says to the firefighters, great job saving lives.

But those numbers not great.

Gonna have to stay on some of those sexy ass calendars. Look, I know everybody thinks everything is email and texting now, but there are so many things you can only send through the mail, like a handwritten card from your grandma weed you can send to yourself to someplace where you can't get weed.

Or hey, how about order a book?

Right?

Good the now?

Y good at now? Now?

What would you do if you couldn't get my book from the post office?

Go to a bookstore?

Yes, yes, because they sell them there too, Or how about download the audio book.

Yeah, you can do that, and you can do that too.

You might even find a QR code somewhere. All I'm saying is that the postal service is important. And finally, let's talk about politics. The good news is that Congress voted yesterday to.

Keep funding the government. Hy so there is it going to be a government shut down?

Congrats Congress, you did the absolute backuck in minimo. Not news is that every single person up on Capitol Hill seems to be losing their damn mind. Yesterday we talked about a senator challenging a witness to fight, and he wasn't even the only one getting physical.

Tennessee Congressman Tim Burchett says former House Speaker Kevin McCarthy elbowed him and the kidneys and.

Got elbowed in the back, and it kind of caught me off guard because it was a clean shot to the kidneys.

And I turned back and there was Kevin McCarthy calling any physical contact between the two men surely accidental.

If I kidney puncherm he'd be on the ground.

So come on, oh my god, you guys are such children.

You act like five year olds. This is insane.

Listen, I know what it's like to want to fight a co walker, but don't do that at word.

You wait for them in the parking lot. Like a response.

For more on all the fighting at Congress, Let's go live to the Capitol now with.

Desie Leideck Dazy, Holy shit, what happened?

You look rough girl?

Thank you? Well, you can't report on Congressional fight Club without joining Congressional fight Club. I've been throwing down all day. You know, these pro life guys talk a big game until their nuts are in a bind, and then they're all.

Oh my body, my choin.

Wait, wait, Desie, there's a Congressional fight club.

Isn't add in violence just going to make things worse?

Well, actually it's been very helpful, Leslie. There are only two ways to release all the tension in Congress. It's either a fight club or going to a musical with Lauren Bobert. And that poor woman can only do so much. She's starting to get carpal.

Tunnel, Dassi.

I'm being honest here. I'm worried about your girl, like you look like you got hurt.

Oh no, no, no no, I mean I took a couple of blows to the head. But it's no big deal. I am totally fine, Lindsay. And the good thing is that this is working. Just one week of this, and the House already passed a spending bill. Not to mention, the House already passed a spending bill.

Back to you, Louise, it's Leslie.

No, I'm DESI no.

Never mine, never mine, Deasi. This doesn't seem healthy. I mean, this is just not the way to run a government. Macho man bullshit is not a real fix, I hear you.

But honestly, it beats how the women do it. I mean, instead of physical violence, it's psychological warfare. Nancy Pelosi called me brave for not wearing makeup, and I was wearing a lot of makeup.

Dazzi, Desi, I need you to get up out of it. I'm definitely worried about you getting hurt. Think about your family, girl.

Okay, you're right. I mean I was supposed to fight Ted Cruz in a few minutes, and I guess I can cancel.

Wait wait, wait, witte, wait wait wait you fighting Ted Cruise?

Yeah number nine?

When I said you stay you stay there, ye stay there?

Yeah? Yeah? Your family right now, your family right now? You stay right there, DESI, okay, and you fight. Listen to me. That's DESI, listen to me.

Okay, Okay, it's all led up to this, DESI.

Okay, all right.

You gotta stay loose, Okay, you gotta wear him down. You know what I'm saying, because he's mostly mid section.

You know what I'm saying. Yeah, getting mid section. Yeah, you know what I'm saying. He's all mint section and beard. You know what I'm saying. Okay, So you gotta you know, this should be easy. Yeah, to do it. You gotta do it for the America. You gotta do it for me. That day you go boom, she's gonna get her ass. Well, when we come back, I'm gonna show you how calm I can be.

So don't go away, all.

Right, walk come back to the Daily Show.

Look, look, I'm gonna be honest with America right now. I'm known for, you know, not sugar coating stuff, you know, and I'm pretty loud.

Really loud. Actually, I'm kind of probably known for yelling. You know.

I'm loud even when I'm whispering. So I just I just I just and you all get it right, you know, everybody right, now you know, the upset and just getting upset.

Everyone's on edge. The world is falling apart. But this is what I want to do.

I want to be the example to the show to show that y'all can stay calm okay. No matter what you see, you can stay calm okay. So that's why I created this new segment called Leslie Jones tries not.

To lose her shit.

There was a time when election stories would really get me upset, but now I'm better at stay in calm. Huh huh okay.

So let's see what's going on with the election.

Third party candidates could prove to have a major impact in this next presidential election.

Robert F.

Kennedy Junior is pulling higher than any independent or third party candidate in more than thirty years.

It's not like RFK is going to win, but he could hurt Joe Biden from winning.

Oh well, that's not good. But you know it's really not good.

You know, races, The race is tight enough as it is without some random Kennedy dude jumping in to cause all kinds of chaos.

But you know what, that's democracy, okay.

Everyone got a right to run.

For office and who knows?

Who knows this dude might actually have some good ideas.

Kennedy the candidate best known for his anti vaccine advocacy and history of promoting ugly conspiracy theories.

He's linked chemicals in our water supply to gender dysphoria, antidepressants to school shootings, and assisted COVID vaccines were a tool to control people via microchips. Rfk Junior said last week that somehow COVID nineteen was engineered to not target Asians and Oshgnazi Jews.

Jesus wiped Uh who Now?

That doesn't make me happy.

But then again, it's a free country, okay. Everyone has the right to believe in what they believed. Uh see see I did it.

I did it.

I didn't lose my shit, Robert Kenny, I did it.

I didn't lose over Robert Kennedy. I'm so proud of myself. We did it.

Everybody, Now? Is there anything else I need to know?

Recent photo on a flight is sparking age old debate. Is it ever okay to remove your shoes on a plane? Passenger's not? This photo of presidential hopeful Robert Kennedy Junior with no shoes and key point here no socks. Kenny was actually coming back from the bathroom with no shoes, no socks.

I tried, y'all sign me right, y'all all saw me, y'all sign I try right.

You witnessed me trying.

Now I'm about to go in on an ass.

This mother went to the he went to the plane bathroom basket.

This is the most disturbing video I have ever seen of a Kennedy, and that.

Includes the one where a guy's head its mouse.

Like, how are you the worst? Kennedy?

Your uncle kill the lady by driving off a bridge.

But then I see your nasty feet.

And I wish I was in that car. The only reason you should come out of the plain bathroom barefoot is if you got robbed in there by someone who only needs socks and shoes.

Eddie, he doesn't He doesn't even.

Believe in vaccines.

How far have the Kennedy's fallen? JFK was raw dog and Marilyn Moroe. But the only thing that's Kennedy is raw dogging, it's tetanus.

Why what's that plane even allowed to land?

Where is the Malaysian pilot when you need him?

And you know what? And you know what else? You know what else? One more thing?

You forestilling Larry David's wife. Okay, that didn't go well. I guess we'll try again next time. When we come back to Legendary athlete Alison Felix will be joining us today on the job an.

Welcome back to the Daily Show.

My guest tonight is the most decorated track and field athlete of all time. She's also the co founder and president of Safe. Please welcome seven time Olympic gold medalist Allison Fix. Oh my, now, perskyball, you already know I'm obsessed, obsessed with the Olympics. You know everything Olympics. Now you I know you'd have seen.

All of the clips, your commentary.

It's everything. I love, y'all. I love. I love giving Olympic athletes they love. I mean because you guys deserve it. Like let me, let me, let me read your song. I'm gonna read your saf.

She has been in five Olympic Games from two thousand and four to twenty twenty. She has eleven Olympic medals, seven gold, three silver, one bronx.

She has twenty.

She has twenty World Championship medals.

God, yes, that's what I'm talking about. I got this.

Question when you were in high school and running track. Did you ever think you was going to do all of that?

Not at all. Now.

In high school they called me chicken legs. I was just concerned with making friends, and you know, I was like, maybe I could get a scholarship to a college, and that was my big thing. But I had no idea or even really aspirations to take it this far.

Really, when when did you get aspirations? Like? When did it click on?

Yeah, it was somewhere in the middle, towards the end of high school where I was like, oh, you know, maybe I could go to the Olympics, maybe I could make this a career. But I wanted to be an elementary school teacher, so it was.

Yeah, wow, and you would have been running fast after them kids got well, okay, now I know this is crazy because you know, I'm going to ask this because I'm.

A black girl like you. When you're running, how do you choose how to do your hair?

Because see, people don't know that black women, you know, we got to put our hair in a certain way, you know, explain all it, like the hairstyles.

I'm a braids type of girl, and so I just don't want to be bothered. And so yeah, usually some type of braids or corn rows or something that makes it really easy so I can focus on what I have to get done.

Exactly, exactly.

Now, this is my big question, and this is always going to be the big question. And men, y'all don't even understand how insulting you are that you don't even understand the stuff that female athletes go through.

We got to have babies, y'all. Want to have babies, y'all, get your wife to do it, and you ain't got to go through that.

So tell this, Tell this America how it feels to have to not only be this Olympic Icon, but then turn around have a baby and then have people tell you that you can't do it after you'd had your baby.

Tell us about that.

I mean, it's so hard and women have been doing it forever, and the thing about it is just not being supported. You know, everyone wants the glory moment when everything is great and when you've come back and you've gone through the struggles, but they don't want to support you through that. And that's what I experience and really wanted to fight on the behalf of other mothers to

Absolutely, absolutely absolutely. Now, now, was that criticism and all of that stuff coming towards you the like the meaning of you doing your shoe your own shoe?

Absolutely?

You know I parted ways with Nike over that fight for maternal protections. I was looking for another footwear sponsor and I couldn't find it, and so in talking with my brother, we just to do it ourselves.

That's right.

Yeah, we thought we were making Yeah, we thought we were making shoes that I could wear in the Olympics. But then we learned as we went down that path that shoes haven't been made for women. And what that means is a shoe is made off of a last, which is just a mold of a foot, and it's been the mold of a man's foot to make women sneakers. So we do things differently. Our shoes are built off the mold and off the function of the women's body, and they're they're just specifically made for her.

That's right, that's right, women looking out for women.

Now, you know, I got to ask you. You know, I know you retired, but I know you got some favorites.

So who should we be looking at for, you know, coming up Olympics.

I mean, we have so much talent. I'm really excited about Gabby Thomas. She's doing so well an A Hall and then of course you know I have to my mother's Shelley and Fraser Price.

You know, Oh my god, love a man.

I think this is going to be her final Olympics.

Yeah, that's my girl.

And excited to see what she's gonna do as well.

Now now I know is I mean like like exciting exciting, right, because let me tell you I've I've gotten the chance to go to Olympics, which you guys, if you ever get a chance, I mean seriously, just to even go to one event, try to go to track and field.

It will change your life.

It is so beautiful to watch, and it's it's out and it's green, and it's not just the running that's going on, it's the middle, the all the events in the middle. Yeah, the people throwing spears and stuff. Now I got to see you saying bolt run and it was you guys, And I hate to say it this way, but y'all look like horses almost, like your legs are so strong, and.

These these dudes was running.

I'm talking about the veins and it's like you it was just like, fas, how do you get that fast?

Is it build on legs? Is it?

Like?

What is that?

I mean, it's a combination. It's definitely, you know, a god given talent, but it comes with a lot of hard work and so you get faster in the weight room. You know, all the weights, the pliometrics, all of those things, and a lot of practice, a lot of dedication.

Wow, what is your favorite eventure run?

I love the two hundred. I always used to call it my baby, but then I had a baby and I was like, okay, I don't think I did that. But that's the perfect distance to me. Really, Okay, my start isn't. That's why you have to have a good start. And the four hundred is just too long.

It's lack of acid.

And anybody who's running four hundred they know about that. So the tour does like the sweet spot.

Oh my god, I just want to ask you everything, and I have all these questions. Okay, last question, what does it feel like to be Oprah's Favorite Thing.

It's so special. I feel so proud.

We just launched our running shoe and so to have the Felix Runner on Oprah's Favorite Things again. It's our second time being on there, so I mean, you know, to be you know Oprah approved that that's right.

You have to sell it. You got to sell it.

I want to say, as another black woman, if no one's ever told you, and I'm pretty sure you've heard this one before, I have never been so tremendously proud of your accomplishments. Thank you so much for being the person you are and being strong and fighting and just showing people that you got to fight for yourself. I love you, and I think you're I think you're a bag of chips and all that.

You know what I'm saying for.

Real, I'm not even got to take a break, but we will be right back after this.

Well that's our.

Show for tonight.

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