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This it's The Daily Show with your host Ronnie Day.
Hey, wolcome to the Emmy Award winning Daily Show. I'm Emmy Award winner Ronnie Chang. Please address me as such. We've got so much to talk about tonight. Donald Trump had a very busy weekend. Republicans wants you to tone your rhetoric down, you bastards, and RFK Jr is still doing RFK JR things.
So let's get into today's headlines.
Ever since Joe Biden dropped out for being old as shit, lots of people have been saying, what about Donald Trump? He's also an old man. But listen, Trump has energy. Okay, look how much he got done this weekend. He held a rally, he started at a crypto company you definitely should put all your money into, and he got in nine hoes of golf, well five hose. That was a bit of an interruption.
Tonight, the Chili new details in the apparent second assassination attempt on Donald Trump.
Yo again, Hey, will you people stop trying to assassinate Donald Trump. Not only is it morally wrong, but you're also just giving him more things to brag about. They only tried to kill Overham Lincoln once. That makes me twice as great as him. But yes, this weekend, a crazy person tried to hunt Donald Trump in his natural habitat his golf course.
Investigators say a Secret Service agent monitoring the woods ahead of mister Trump as he played golf on Sunday, saw a rifle barrel through the tree line and open fire.
The subject, who did not have line of sight to the former president, fled the scene.
He did not fire or get off any shots. At our agents.
Cell phone record show he had been in place at the edge of the golf course for nearly twelve hours.
This guy managed to walk into Trump's golf course and stay there undetected for twelve hours. Okay, and I don't know if you've thought about this, Trump, but maybe you should consider building, you know, like a wall, Like I don't know if you're like a.
You know, a wall guy. Just just think about it.
But by the way, have you noticed that the news reports are all like a herrowing neo tragedy, sending chills through a nation, And meanwhile everyone you actually know is like, oh.
Oh yeah, yeah, I saw that.
Yeah. I mean we have to act like it's a big deal. But he doesn't really have the same impact of the first one. You know, It's kind of like Black Panther two. You're like, yeah, I guess I'll see it. I mean, how's that going to work?
Now?
The Cicco Service is getting a lot of heat for letting that guy get this far, but don't worry that taking action.
As part of that increase focus on security, the Palm Beach County Sheriff now says that mar A Lago behind me has the highest security level possible, equivalent to when Donald Trump was president.
That's right, the highest security level possible. It goes security, maximum security, and then Homer Loane level. I'm talking paint cans on the stairs, scary movies playing really loud, a codboard cutout of Trump in the windows, moving back and forth, and if things get really bad, Trump's scary old friend will show up.
And protect him.
Now, the motive of the assassin remains unclear, so we'll have to look at who might have a reason to be angry at Donald Trump.
On Sunday, three hours before the attempt, on his life. Trump blaired I hate Taylor Swift on Truth's Social reacting to her bombshell endorsement of Kamala Harris O.
Donald tweeting, I hate Taylor Swift. That's dangerous. I mean I would I would rather buy one of those hesbolop pages than tweet I hate Taylor Swift. I think I think Trump needs to stick to racism.
It's less divisive.
But the assassin this weekend was probably not a swiftye. Okay, he doesn't fit them. Swifty is on nonviolent. They prefer the cyber bully you until you kill yourself. So why did this guy come for Trump? I mean, according to JD. Vans, Trump's VP and the worst thing that happened to cat ladies since feline aids. Democrats made him do it.
The left needs to tone down the rhetoric and needs to cut this crap out. We cannot tell the American people that one candidate is a fascist and if he's elected, it is going to be the end of American democracy.
Yeah, liberals, stop accurately describing Trump. Okay, you're putting him in danger when you repeat the things he says verbato. But Jdvans has a point. The left needs to stop calling its political opponents fascist. Okay, you don't see Donald Trump doing that all the time.
She's a Marxist, she's a fascist.
She's a Marxist communist fascist socialist.
We have a fascist person running.
There's a radical left Marxist communist fascist. She's a Marxist communist fascist person.
But that last one it felt like he ran out of woods. The end it is she's a Marxist communist fascist dermatologist. I mean, Trump has called Kamala fascist so much I'm not sure he knows her name. It's like when you say to a coworker, oh hey, hey, yeah, good to see you, my fascist buddy. Don't forget the rules of slurs either. Okay, you can use the word if you are one. That's why I can call someone else ronnie, but you can't call me ronnie. Okay, that's
our words. But look, whether or not you think the rhetoric should be toned down, it's just not something that Trump and Vents actually believe in. I mean, for the past week, the city of Springfield has been overrun with bomb threats after Trump and Vents claimed that Haitian immigrants are eating everyone's cats and dogs, which there is no evidence of. I mean, people love posting photos of their food. Okay, so we would have.
Seen it by now.
But when Trump was asked about those bomb threats, he didn't seem too concerned.
Did you announce the bomb threats in Springfield, Ohio?
I don't know what happened with the bomb threats.
I know that it's been taken over by illegal migrants.
Yeah, the guy who wants everyone to believe he's super concerned about political violence came even bring himself to say he's against bomb threats. I mean, what more information are you waiting for. It's a bomb threat. You need to know who the bomb was going to vote for. I mean, I can't believe this guy is saying that. Very fine bomb threats on both sides. You know this isn't a trick question. This is a layup for politicians. So I
do support the troops. So do you like Killo Swift to say yes, it's laom so Well, any of the heater rhetoric in this country change. Probably not, But there was at least one moment over the weekend that offered a glimmer of hope.
President Biden Tonight spoke on the phone with Trump. The White House describes the conversation as cordial, with Biden sharing his relief that the former president is safe, and then Trump thanking Biden for the call.
Oh yeah, Joe Biden, I forgot about that guy. That's right, he's the president. It's so nice when two eighty old men can speak to each other on the last piece of technology. They can truly understand. And I know you're thinking, it would be great if we knew exactly what they talked about on that call. Well, luckily we had the Daily Show God hands on the very real audio recorded Hello, Hey.
Johnny, it's me President Joe.
Hi.
Then has Biden blame's Joe, Brandy. I just want to say, I'm glad you're safe. Directing Secretary service makes your mar LAO completely secure.
Thank you, Joe, And let me just say, please come back. Huh please, Joe. This race has no fun without you. Everyone is shooting at me. This black lady keeps laughing at me in the debates. I need you, bat, Joe. You had good times together.
Didn't we.
Of course we did. Donnie r Goes, she's us sinking in my life purpose Nowadays, no one even pays attention to me. Just yes day, phoot down furey stairs.
Jill just walked over me.
Then tell everyone you're back in the race. You can call me a threat to democracy. I'll call you a demented head of an international crime family. It'll be like old times.
Don't you think I want to They won't let me, and she posts you shut my door and out a baseball man.
Sorry, Donnie, I gotta go.
I gotta go to jd Vance.
Just call women walking embryo bags. So I gotta deal with that.
Goodbye, Joe.
Wait, Donnie, run away with me?
What let me at going up tree at for five o'clock we drive some small Latino country and run for president there. Oh my god, is this really happening?
Are you serious?
Joe?
I'm as serious as you represent democracy? Who you are?
Old friends? You have that senator bitch.
You have made me the happiest man alive.
I'm so happy for them. When we come back, we'll talk about the latest. Our case kind of above me to poke with an animal.
But don't go away.
Welcome back there there we sho.
It's t to d all Way.
It's been going on for about sixty years.
Now, And for me, the worst part was having to hear about RFK Junior and all the weird things he does with animals. I mean, we have to learn how he grills goat skeletons, and how he picks up dead bears and dumps in Central Park, and how his head is a cemetery for brain eating worms. But last month he dropped off the race, And thank Buddha because now I don't have to listen to any more of his weird animal shit.
Robert F.
Kennedy Junior is now under federal investigation for allegedly decapitating a dead whale and taking the head home.
What is going on? It's good?
Is there any animal on earth you won't mutilate? I mean, keep that creep the hell away from Mudang. Now he's under federal investigation for whale beheading, and I have so many questions. I mean, for instance, how do you know where the head starts? I mean, where does the tide go? Does it go like up here? Is it like down after the fins? I mean the whole animal a head. And also I didn't even know the government had an agency for whale crimes. They must have been so happy
to get this case. I mean, I bet that morning they're like, guys, guys, I think we're gonna have to shut down. It's just not enough whale crimes to justify a budget. So you're all fired in three two. Whoa wait, hang on the phone is waying? Yes, yes, yes, you can be right there.
Yes, okay, we might have to rearrange our schedule, but I just wait for us.
And by the way, if you're wondering how he brought the whalehead home, well it's as gross as you think.
The longtime conservationist allegedly saw the head off a dead whale back in nineteen ninety four after it washed up on a Massachusetts beach. Kennedy reportedly cut off the whale's head and then bungee courted it to the roof of the family minivan before driving it across state lines.
To bring it back to his New York homb so he.
Could study the school.
Rfk's daughter Kick Kennedy originally shared the fishy anecdote more than a decade ago.
She said, every time they accelerated, quote, whale juice poured into the windows.
How can you be in the same family as Ted Kennedy and still have the worst driving story in the family. RFK Junior keeps saying that vaccines caused as health problems, but hey, maybe you think it's from inhaling, kai exhaust and shamougism for eight hours. My big question is what the hell did RFK do with the whales head?
I mean, I sold the great head to be.
Wait?
Who said that?
Who said that to that honey whaler who scours the one Duxies for its blobby bees?
Okay, wait, hold on, some sort of old timey fisherman.
Sure don't you see the beard the pipe?
Let's I don't need a whole sea shanty? Okay? Are you saying that you buy whaleheads from RFK Jr? Why would you do that?
Well, if you know of a better way to get whale juice, I more ears, two legged land lover.
Okay, king, just tell me what do you even do if a whales head?
What don't I do with them? The oil fuse the gas lamps from Vantucket. Their bones make fine corsets for the lasses of New Bedford, and the blowholes are nature's fleshlight.
Okay, Wow, that's that is gross.
Oh someone likes to kink.
Shame, don't they huh, get with the times, man, it's eighteen twenty four.
The point is I need more whaleheads, So spread the word across the seven seas.
Gold to balloon to any green horde who brings me the skull of the lemarthen.
Okay, I don't think the balloons are legal tender anymore.
Okay, fine, crypto then either way it'll buy you many a blowhole for the lonely nights that seed.
Listen, old timey sailor. Decapitating whales is wrong.
It doesn't have to be a whale. Any creature of the sea will earn you mean treasure.
The tentacles of an octopus, the jaws of a great white, the head of the orphan clownfish they call Nemo, and an extra the balloon to any man who brings me the giant.
Squid of the deep, so I can make.
Her my bride.
What did you just say, You gonna marry a squid?
What I say about kick chovy?
Man?
You sound like you really know r K Jr. Really really well. Okay, so are you gonna be voting for him? No?
I collect the separate heads of whales. I'm not a lunatic.
Old timey sail everybody. When we come back, Louise.
Aridondo be joining on the shelf and don't go away. Hey, welcome bout that daily show.
My guest to night is the former head of the secretive Pentagon unit that study UFOs. He's written the best selling book Imminent Inside the Pentagon's Hunt for UFOs. Please welcome Louis Alesondo. Okay, so you know, thanks well coming on the show. Louis, thank you for having me my honorn privilege. Yeah, it's really nice to take a break talking about divisive American politics to talk about what is going on.
It's aliens.
Well, first of all, we don't call them aliens anymore. That's kind of a politically incorrect term. We now call them in the Pentagon NHI, non human intelligence.
Okay, maybe you should probably give you your bona fides a bit. You well, you are, you ran in you are in intelligence and count intelligence.
Yeah. So after college, I spent some time. I went into the United States Army, spent some time in military intelligence, and then from there I was recruited into some special activity programs where I became a special agent in counter
intelligence investigating terrorism and espionage. In two thousand and nine, early two thousand and nine, I was brought in to run counter intelligence for that program what is now known as a TIP, the Advanced Aerospace Threat Identification Program, and later on I wound up being one of its senior members.
Right, so you are a military man, a veteran, you are intelligence officer, count intelligence officer, a grown adult. By your own words, you're also a fat based person.
You've said that in interviews.
But I'm also proof that you don't have to be intelligent to be an intelligence Well.
No, I wouldn't go.
Let me just put that out there.
Okay, well, let me put this out there.
What is going on?
These aliens?
So?
What is alien?
What's going on that's aliens?
What?
What is this?
So the US government for many decades has been investing a lot of tax payer money looking into this this topic here, and it turns out that there are absolutely technologies that are coming into our controlled US airspace over our sensitive military installations, may have the ability to interfere with our nuclear equities. And yeah, it's real. And not only are pilots picking it up and reporting it. Also we've got on electro optical data like gun camera footage
flear footage and also radar data. And it's not just here. It looks like it's pretty pervasive all over the world.
Now, so what there's aliens. There's aliens, aliens on right now and doing shit. What they're doing?
How you put those two words together, I'm not sure that.
I'm not sure necessarily that aliens come go okay, so what arey doing?
What they're doing here? What are you doing?
So it appears that they're very interested in our technology. We don't know yet. I want to be very clear.
They came here and they don't want to look at my iPhone sixteen. No, but they've got shit that flew across the stars they don't care about.
They are very interested in our military equities and capabilities, and also our nuclear technology. And I think what's for me, what was most compelling is that in some cases you had literally literally near misses of US combat aircraft coming within fifteen feet of these objects, in some cases literally splitting a combat formation right down the middle. These are things that can do things that none of our vehicles
can replicate. Their performance capabilities are far beyond anything that we have, and quite frankly, there's not a whole lot we can do about it right now.
So beyond a shadow of a doubt that you've seen the evidence the aliens.
Oh, the governments already come out. Look, you have a former director of National Intelligence, a former director of CIA, a former president of the United States, all coming out and saying officially, yeah, there's something to this. I mean, these things look like they are definitely interested in our stuff.
And furthermore, when the government first came out with their new UFO program called Arrow, their first report said, yeah, there's one hundred and forty three of these incidents, but we expect these numbers to go down as we figure them out. The next report that came out there was over three hundred. The next report there's now over eight hundreds. So the numbers increasing, not decreasing.
Okay, So why is this getting buried in the cycle or something? Because Donald Trump says, I hate Taylor Swift. So we just never see this stuff because when you presidents, the government has said these things at around, so their.
In life is problem. It's a bureaucracy. Look, the men and women find men and women of the Pentagon and the US government doing credible work, and most of the time we are a lot better off as a society because of the professionalism. Unfortunately, in this particular case, the
bureaucracy was a problem. We continue to try to get alarm bells up to the Secretary of Defense over and over again, but there was this layer of these proverbial praetorian guards that didn't want I want to tell the Secretary Defense that we were spending taxpayer money looking into these things and oh, by the way, turns out they're real.
Okay, are you, with all due respect, is there any chance that you would accidentally describing the synopsis to Independence Day because that's the movie that was in the movie, they couldn't get to the dude because they wouldn't listen. So you're telling me aliens are going to take over because of US government bureaucracy.
Well, I certainly hope that's not the case. I think, you know, when we look at this issue here, this has been going on for decades. This has been going on since the late nineteen forties. I want to say that people go, wait a minute, you're talking about Roswell. Was Roswell? Reel was Roswell?
Wil It was absolutely okay, So what was that Roswell?
There was a crash. It was of a vehicle that had broken into two pieces, and it was recovered by the United States government, taken to a secure military installation, and then from there it went out to certain locations. What is in that book I'm allowed to talk about that went through the Pentagony view process, so I am legally able to talk about it. There are things that I'm still not yet allowed to talk about.
Well, those things tell us those things.
Well, let's see here. I don't know. I do not look good in an orange jumpsuit, so I gotta be very careful, Like.
Are you're gonna look good in whatever jumps with the aliens put on you? Better?
We better be.
This is the It sounds like, well, battling aliens and bureaucracy here? Can we I don't know if we can fight a two front one on this? Can we choose a side to fight here?
I think I'd prefer to fight aliens if I had to choose between bureaucracy, to be honest with.
Okay, So in the book you say that, and by the way, I mean, I read the book and it's it's a very uh it's a pattern, it's it's very well written.
It's easy to follow.
Like in it, you say, like the best case scenario right now is that aliens on national security threat issue.
It is just to determine if something is a threat. It's really a very simple calculus. It's capabilities versus intent. Now we've seen some of the capabilities, we still have no idea the intent, So therefore we don't know if it's a threat. But let me give you a very quick analogy. Here. You probably live in a great lovely area, just like your audience here. Do you lock your door?
Live in New York City?
So no, no, really, do you lock your front doors?
That's aliens here right now in New York City. Is you're gonna say, yeah, I do lock my front.
Those so and most people do. And let's say you lock your windows and you turn it on your alarm. Let's say one Sunday morning, you come downstairs, I have a hot cup of coffee, your tea, and despite your doors being locked, in your window and your alarm on, there's now size twelve muddy boot prints in your living room floor and your carpet that weren't there the night before. Now, no one's been hurt, nothing's out of place, but despite you doing all this other stuff and locking doors and
making sure the alarm's on. They're an outfootprints in your living room carpet that weren't there the night before. My question to you is is that a threat? And so my response is from a national security perspective, I was wearing my national security hat. It could be if it wanted to be. So we probably should figure out how it's getting into the house.
You'll probably move at that point, we should all that apartment. There's bootprints, they're still walking around.
So these things are are We are encountering them over controlled US air space, like I said, over sensitive military installations, and so from a national security perspective, we've got to figure out what these things are.
No ship, no ship. We got to figure out what's got you.
See, you're saying you're being very professional and being very technical, and you're being very calm as an intelligence officer, and then you're saying that aliens said that we don't know what they want?
What what?
Okay?
What do? What should people take away from this as aliens and what look when you see it?
Shoot on site? No?
No, no, no, don't do that. I would recommend not doing that. I think what what people need to know Right now? US government is taking this topic very seriously. There's there's several pieces of legislation that are going through through Congress right now. There are members in both the House and the Senate that had been briefed by whistleblowers on this topic, people who have been part of certain efforts UAP efforts in the past.
You should is not getting mixed up the Border Act, right because that when you say aliens, I don't think they really know which ones you're talking.
Well, we're these, I mean yeah, if you have illegal aliens and you've got aliens, yeah, right.
Right.
So so there's acts coming out as legislation.
What legislating against intergalactic aliens?
Well, I think the idea is to open the door for whistleblowers to come out and be able to have a protected conversation with Congress, so Congress can then have a conversation with American people. I think that's really what this is about. And certainly I think there's certain people in By the way, for the first time, this is a bipartisan issue. You've got both liberals and conservatives on the hill. Can you believe it, of all things UAP right.
No, See, that's the most off assed thing you said, right right, that is not who would have thought I'll believe aliens.
Right, there's no way these guys are working together.
They are, I swear to God, I can't say who they are, but their names have already been I think in the press quite a bit. But on both sides, they are taking this topic very seriously. A lot of these folks have military backgrounds.
Why don't they just let it out, Just let the news out, Tell people to show them the freaking show them the photo of the alien selfie with the president, and then let's get it out.
There, let's handle We've spent many decades backing ourselves into a corner on this conversation, and the government has said publicly what its position is. Now it's in a situation where it's having to unwind that conversation and say, look, folks, we haven't always been completely forthcoming and truthful with you. And that's a hard conversation to.
Have when you talk about that's aliens. Have the conversation, there's.
Aliens, there's aliens. That's aliens. All right, Well, can we can we stop them?
Well? I don't know, I mean, that's not a question for me. That's a question for kind of a.
Question for you.
I think you're the only one who can, because it sounds like your aditude also seems to be like, yeah, they're here, I've seen them. They have capabilities beyond an understanding, and nothing much we can do about it. So you know, keep watching Paramount plus and what we're supposed to do about this now.
I think, Look, I personally think Americans can handle the truth about this topic. I think it's it is. I mean, we can joke a lot about it, but the reality is is that these things, whatever they are, wherever they're from, alien this is real.
Yeah, so you real, all right.
Yeah, it's real whatever it is.
Okay, Well, is that a chance that if the government tells people aliens are real and shows them, will unite together in a global effort to defeat them?
And well, you know, there were there. There was a famous speech by by Reagan back in the eighties where he's by.
Bill Pullman in Independence.
And him, Yeah that's right, where they said that if if if the truth of this came out, it would probably unite the world.
But we need it. Now, let's go aliens, let's go. Now, this is the time.
This is the time.
We got a lot of shit going down. Now, Aliens come aliens, and now I'm down for aliens. Now, okay, if we look.
Uniting Congress is already a big enough challenge. Let's let's get these folks on the same sheet of music. Let's get the briefings they need, and then let them have a conversation with their constituents.
You're talking about paperwork, I'm talking about aliens.
The government survives off of paperwork. It is a bureaucracy, unfortunately, so we have to look, there's a there's a I've always said there's a there's a right way to do things, and you can do also it right now, but they're not necessarily the same thing. Doing things right and right now may not be you know, the same the same.
Thing you mean as aliens, and you want to go through bureaucracy until unite Congress before you can fight the aliens.
Fight the aliens, get the aliens out.
I think there's opportunity here. In the last seven years, I think we've come further on this conversation than we have the last seventy. There are elements now in the government that want this conversation to occur. They want the American people to know. Look, this is the worst kept
secret at this point, probably in the US government. I mean, it's it's pathetic the fact that so many people now are in our militaries, are intelligence communities, have even in some cases come up close and personal with these things.
Wait, yeah, okay, this is okay, this is crazy. Anyway, imminent is.
Imminent?
Is available? Now? I wish you could.
We could talk for hours about this big malait everybody.
We'll go to a quick break, but we right back after this.
So when you get.
That thoughts on for tonight.
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