You're listening to Comedy Central.
Now, hey there, this is Daisy Leideck. While the Daily Show is off this week, we put together some special highlights just for you. We'll be back next week, but in the meantime, enjoy this episode.
Donald Trump has assembled a wide range of supporters at the RNC and some of the most vocal evangelicals. Yes, he's a casino owner who's had three different wives, but the Conservative Christians know a devout man when they see one dog.
Trop he represents the godly people of the United States of America.
He's always acted like a good Christian.
Absolutely, How can you build that kind of empire if you're not praying to God for good things every day.
He is the man for this time in history, and God will using And I don't know that he's going to even be aware of how God is going to use him.
You like, even knows what his relationship with God is.
Absolutely, I think that they.
Seemed convinced, but I was still struggling to see how this man reflected the teachings of the Good Book. What do you think about the idea of loving thy neighbor.
You don't want somebody living next door to you that's going to sneak over and.
Murder you in your sleep.
Who's gonna do that.
Muslims?
But then I saw a man who could convince even the most skeptical of the death of Trump's faith.
We are electing a man in Donald Trump who believes in the name of Jesus.
Trist Pastor Mark Burns shining Man. That's the guy I needed to talk to, A man who gave the benediction on the opening night of the RNC.
I believe Donald Trump without question loves God.
He believes in the One True God.
He believes Jesus Christ is his Lord and Saviord. He believes that marriage is between one man and one woman.
He believes that way.
What he believes.
Marriage is between one man and one one. Who does Donald Trump believes one marriage is before one man and one and one.
He also believes a younger woman comes along. No no, no, no, no, no no no, that's not thanks. Marriage is between one man and one check one Slovenian and one American. Right, So your point is this one man, one woman things. I ran the numbers. They don't check out. Okay. So he stumbled a few times on his path toward righteousness. But surely he embodies the most basic Christian ideal of helping those in need. Jesus said, blessed are the poor, for they will inherit the kingdom of heaven.
He did.
Donald Trump said, I've watched politicians bragging about how poor they are, how poor their parents and grandparents were. And I said to myself, if they can stay so poor for so many generations, how smart can they be? They're morons.
Donald Trump is not the pastor of the United States of America. He's accepted Jesus christis to save you. Is he a seminarian student? Can he execute the scriptures? I don't think so.
You know who has run a Bible study. I'll give you a hint. It rhymes with Hillary Clinton.
Quin Clinton.
Yes, runs a Bible study.
She did when she was first Lady of Arkansas.
Well, you know, I can't speak to Hillary Clinton's relationship with God. I know she's really good at panduin out the black churches saying whatever amazing grace song she can come up with for that moment.
Do you think Donald Trump knows the words to amazing Grace?
Well?
As I said, I think it'd be more like tremendous grace. How fantastic the sound could save a pretty good guy like me. I once was lost, Although you know what, I was never lost. I was born with an impeccable sense of direction. When it comes to Trump's views on the poor and marriage, Christians are willing to turn the other cheek, an attitude they extend to all God's children, well almost all.
I think that when Hillary Clinton calls Donald Trump a person that does disrespects women. For a woman herself to allow her husband to disrespect her, I think that's horrible.
You're holding that to Hillary. What we show is what we received. So what's worse, Hillary allowing Bill to cheat or Donald Trump shitting.
Well, I want to be clear.
I'm miss Court and I said Hillary Trump has.
Allowed you don't want to do anything.
Bill is his own man.
But you're connecting his actions to Hillary because he.
Is Hillary Clinton's husband.
But you're not connecting Donald Trump's actions to Donald Trump. And I believe Donald Trump.
Just like any of us, when we fall, we faltered the sin.
I see. Christians love to forgive, and Donald Trump allows them to practice forgiveness and truly biblical proportions aimen What was American last great For.
Me, I would say the turning point for our country was nineteen thirteen when we passed the seventeenth Amendment.
And what's the like back when like women couldn't vote?
Yeah, night, well back up, but again like that, that's got your sweet spot right there, absolutely, But nineteen thirteen?
What year?
Was America great.
When it was founded?
Except for the slavery stuff?
Except for the slavery stuff, you know, I think we were probably our strongest immediately post World War Two.
So around the nineteen fifties.
Yeah, mid forties, fifties.
I mean, I think the fifties was great other than.
You know, segregation and women's rights. Well, we could sit here and paint negative faces of all times in America.
Correct, it's make America great again? So when was the last grade?
It's always been great, so we're so if.
It's always been great, what are we trying to go back to?
We're not going back, We're going forward.
I guess the eighties were pretty good.
Hey, the eighties, the eighties, great music, cocaine, crack cocaine.
Yeah, well we're always great.
The people are great, so here, Yeah, that's.
All America is great right now?
So we did it.
No, we didn't do it.
America became great when the founding fathers put pen on paper in seventeen seventy six and decided to build a country based on laws.
That was greatness.
That was awesome.
Other than the slavery obviously, that was terrible and.
We didn't have that.
Yeah, we did have that slay and the Indian thing right that was terrible, and the women's voting thing.
But other than that, that was awesome.
A few hiccups along the way, you know, like they say, yeah, nobody made it to the top without breaking a few pieces of china.
That wasn't an insult.
By the way, this year, the Republicans have touted their broader appeal with youth outreach groups, a woman up pavilion, and they even courted minorities by letting the Puerto Rican sit up front. So we went to check out the new GOP. But there was just one problem.
Have you seen any Latinos?
No?
Excuse me, excuse me? Have you seen any black people?
By a way, are you Latino?
No?
Damn it.
Asian? Excuse me?
Any black people?
Okay, So this was harder than we thought. But just when we were about to give up. There was finally a sign, not your cheese.
And it's still warm.
They're close.
Are you Republicans?
It's just a gig man. Well we were getting closer.
What's your name and are you Latino?
My name is Luis Alvarado. I am Latino.
Yes, finally they appeared. Now let's just take ten seconds and we're gonna look around and we're gonna count how many black people that we see around us aside from ourselves. They cannot be janitors and they cannot work here. Okay, al ready, let's go. I got zero.
How many did you get?
I got too right behind you.
Oh and they're very light, so they may they may are, They're not very light.
One of those got freckles.
Can't checker papers.
I mean the Republicans are right?
This feels good?
And just how were they making inroads with such diverse groups? Look no further than their youth outreach campaign headed up by their super rad leader. Yo, what's up Daily Show nerds. It's miss j Willie here with my man Pecan, president of Generation Opportunity.
Pecan house a hangin huh completely?
All right?
So you are the face of Generation Opportunity.
I'm the president of it.
You.
Yeah, so how old are you exactly? I'm forty eight years old.
Eight? Yeah, But I had a band when I was in high school.
What year was that? Nineteen seventy five?
No, I got your beat is nineteen eighty four.
Holy I was not alive.
Minorities check you check. But the real prize was the ladies. So the Republicans invited them via Twitter to the woman at Pavilion to engage in the issues most important to them free hair and makeup.
We are two women and we are here too.
Woman.
Come on.
The women embraced our presence and welcomed us into their reception room.
Until this is a close President, I'm sorry, but we're two women and we're here to women up.
Awesome, woman asked spontaneous women, and I got.
This tweet that says that we could to get free touch ups on our hair.
Yeah, ladies, down a shooter and grab your coooter.
Excited.
So hey, guys, step one, sure, did you want to transvagilan ultrasomey? Just to make sure that I'm qualified, because those are pretty good credentials.
I'm a woman.
Do you get to go?
While the GOP had made some strides there was one place right next door where everyone was always welcome.
Yes, thank you.
So much for providing us with a safe space.
Spirs.
Y'all are welcome you at anytime.
As we've learned this week, Unlike Democrats, Republicans are patriotic, honest, and decent. And there's a simple reason.
Why small town America continues to be the moral grounding of this country.
Small town with small town values, we grow good people in our small towns. So we sent the best news team. Oh wait, hold on a second, So we sent the most respectful and wholesome news team to find out what small town values really means.
I am from a small town, so I can tell you exactly what that means.
That's what I'd like you to do.
Yeah, it's it's real people, real values, common sense.
Can you be more generic?
A small town values means traditional marriage, it means.
Help me out here.
I can't.
Oh you can't. Small town values.
I would say fishing.
And uh.
Church?
Uh you know God, which you wish?
Church?
The Christian Church, Christian Church are the other ones.
That's just no, no, no, I mean Jewish Church, Christian Church.
And it's what happens in those Christian and Jewish churches. That forms the bedrock of any small town.
Marriages between a man and a woman.
That is a small town.
Value, a husband and a wife, a man and a woman. Small town values are common sense values. Conservatives believe and believe in things that make sense.
Do you have nothing against homosexuals?
Gays have all the rights that they want.
All they gotta do is marry a person of the opposite sex.
Oh okay, So as long as gays don't be gay, they've done all the rights they want.
You shouldn't have special rights just because of the type.
Of sex you have.
Once of where's that of a constitution? It ain't.
That's right. These folks know there's nothing more important than a bond between a man and a woman.
The delegates are very respectful, and they're great tippers, and they choose very nice and we're happy to have them here.
I like you, man, Thank you, man. I like you a lot, all right, thanks man. Give me a kiss on the cheek, on the cheek.
Him.
It's nice.
You can't admit it.
It was nice.
Can you do that on cable TV?
Of course I can. I can do a lot more than that. Small town values me not locking your door at night. You know you got a tractor in the field.
You've got cow in the barn.
Nineteen fifties, America. I hear you there. What do you do for living?
Powell?
I'm a lobbyist.
Oh, just like the fifties. Everybody knows everybody, and you're welcome anywhere you go, just like I remember a.
Backyard cookout of the Republican Finance Committee reception.
Come on, Roberg, Hello, the youngest of the Riggle boys from the Stuart Place.
You can't come in.
Hello, Hello, Hey, hey, neighbor.
Hey, let's go new not too bad, neighbor. Let's keep going.
You're gonna have to leave.
It's hey, it's hey.
It's Wyant, Jesse's grandson. S the racial thing, is it?
Goodbye? Spend just a few minutes here, and you know what small town values are all about. And nobody put it better than Regina.
But we talk about that's political on our kitchen breakfast table.
It's a nook.
It's a nook.
Okay?
Is that America is awesome?
Last night, Sarah Palin took the stage and silenced her critics. This woman is qualified.
Tell me about our qualifications.
One, she's a beautiful lady.
She hunts and fishes and is not afraid to get her hands dirty.
She's only that far from Russia from those eyes A Putin.
One of the things that I really respect about Sarah Palin is that she makes Americans feel like anyone can be president.
But there's one.
Issue for which she's still being unfairly attacked.
It's very inappropriate that the Democrats have seized on the issue of Bristol's pregnancy.
That is a personal that is very personal, and I don't think that she should be attacked for that.
I think it's a family issue.
Politics should stay out of people's business.
You do what's right.
And you know she's going to have the baby, she's going to get married.
She said, no, it's a human being she made.
I'm sorry, what is she made the decision? The decision. There's another word I'm looking for, rhyme.
I think it rhymes with voice. Every family and every woman should have the right to.
I'm sorry. What's the word I'm looking for.
It's her family, it's her Oh god, what is the word? What is the word I'm looking for? It's like an alternative or if you have two things, you be Sarah Palin and I'll be herself. Seventeen year old daughter Bristol.
You know you and I have always been able to openly discuss what do.
You want to talk to me about? I'm too busier and now mom, he got out of my room. It's like when you have a lot of options and you have to select one. What's the word I'm looking for? What is the word? Adoption?
Is one?
You know, there's a specific word I'm looking for.
I'm sure the family will be able to make the best decision for.
Them, but they'll have the freedom to make that decision. Hold on a second, I'm trying to have a boyfriend. Can I carry you back? My mom is in my room. She wants to talk to me about something. Hold on, I pay back.
Well, yes, but I don't think that I don't think that the decision I think it should be not I think that the family decision would become as how.
Yes, okay, oh my godhead, you.
Bothering mannis it's you know, when you have like an alternative.
What's the word I'm looking for? Alternative? A different choice?
Choice?
Yes, exactly.
Every family, every person should have the choice to decide what's best for them.
You know the left.
Clamors for choice, we want to make choice, we want choice. And Sarah Palin's daughter has made a choice.
Freedom of choice. That's different than being pro choice. She's able to make the choice that she doesn't really want other people to have.
Right.
Does that make sense?
We've heard a lot this week about Mitt Romney's number one qualification for presidents.
Mitt Romney turned busy.
This is around in the private sector. He's made a success of failing companies.
America needs a turnaround and the man for the job is Governor Mitt Romney.
And why is that?
I think government needs to run more lack of business.
These aren't easy conversations to have.
But if it's not working, you gotta end it.
It's gotta go.
If a branch of Blimpis is failing, they don't reward it. They shut that down exactly.
Always letting the market decide would be the best thing to do.
Oh okay, And where are you from?
Mississippi?
Mississippi?
Whoa whoa dead last? And per capita income you are costing the federal government twenty billion dollars.
That is uh.
You know what?
I think We're gonna have to let the market decide.
And if that's the case, we need to take a hard look at which divisions of AmeriCorps succeeding and which are failing. Because what was that Delaware?
And if it's not working, you gotta end it.
It's gotta go exactly.
So let's do this.
Let's talk about the bottom line. South Carolina is taking way more in government funding than it's playing back in tax.
Well that's not good, is it.
No, you're in the red.
Yeah, so what do we do with cut government expenses?
Maybe?
Why don't we try that?
Oh so you're blaming the boss.
Huh?
One operating division audited forty nine anxious states to go nervous todd a little bit. It's kind of hard though, Yeah, because I see your sweating. You're anticipating bad news in this conversation.
Uh No, not really.
Well, you're about to get some Wisconsin is failing.
You are taking in more than you're giving back.
That's what they say.
No, that's what I'm telling you.
I'm looking at your numbers here, they're middling. I know you're wyoming. No one really expects anything of you.
What do you think?
Yeah, would you like a gatorade or towel or something. No, okay, it seems like your whole face is crying. These conversations are never easy. It can be painful.
We've decided to let Georgia go.
Suddenly when actually faced with the numbers. Running American life a business didn't seem like a good idea after all, and it was every state for themselves.
You're really in the red and we can't support you.
No, no, no, Iowa has.
A budget that shows up in the black.
Sir, Once you talk to California, Iowa is talking so much crap about you right now?
About yes, who are we.
Getting rid of?
I'd go with main All right, how do you think this year wins?
Well?
I don't think it went too well. Again, Oh no, it didn't go too well.
O terrible.
You are taking in more than you're giving back.
I don't see anything wrong with that.
To help us get moving.
Forward, explain to me if we're running a business here, why we're keeping you around?
Let me talk?
Can I talk about these hats right now?
Americorp is clearly struggling. It was time to see EO up.
All right, you three are here because you are the worst three states in the Union. So we're gonna have a little context. Okay, first prize, you get to keep your job. Second prize, anyone want to see?
Second price?
Second prize obradge boy CD oh yay?
Third price is your fire?
You?
Minnesota? Why the hell should I keep you?
We have a land of ten thousand like.
You'll go home and water ski? Whyoman?
What do you got last population in the Union?
Wide open spaces?
Yeah, who gives you to go fly a kite?
Mississippi?
You think this is funny?
Yes, you see this watch.
This watch is worth more than your entire state.
We know what hard work is and we're good.
Then we grow cotton and we are the most hospitable people that you'll ever want to Nat.
I gotta be honest. Her state's a piece.
She is out selling YouTube. Take your CD.
Get this out.
You're fired.
Prepare yourself, America. Because Romney always be closing.
Republicans are experts at managing their image. Questioners at campaign events are carefully vetted.
Mister President, I don't have a question. I have three thank you, thank you, And the press is either shut out, thanks.
Or seduced.
That was the strategy at the convention.
They're the GOP set up a lavish, free spad just for journalists.
Some reporters might be co opted, but not ed Helms and Samantha b that's good.
We wouldn't be distracted from our mission by cheap bribes. We were here at the convention to get all up in the GOP's collective grill.
Let's talk about the warn wreck. Who do you think God wants to win?
Oh?
Wow, Hi, excuse me.
I was hoping you could wear our hat for the convention. I have a feeling that you're going to get a tremendous amount of airtime.
Thank you.
Who do you like better?
Brooks are done?
Wow?
I'm into Brooks.
George Bush's vice president, Dick Cheney, voted in support of segregation when he was a senator in Wyoming. Does that give you pause as an African American Republican?
Well, I think it's important for people have come totally kidding.
Some people say that it's a conflict of interest that Fox News Channel is producing this convention. What are your thoughts on that? I think Fox News is absolutely awesome.
I have a feeling you're going to be all over the TV tonight.
Would you wear this.
Hat for us?
This is such a country of opportunity.
And although all of us have little clips in our lives.
I mean, is tonight the night that they exploit nine to eleven? Or is tonight inspired empty promises for the future.
Have you had a hot carl since you've been here?
I have not, Just you know, so much to do. I haven't gotten did everything yet, but I will.
I'll be here, what five days, just getting a taxi and say take me to where I can get a hot carl, and you will.
Be in for something that you never expected.
We will look forward to that.
And we're going to have a little time during the next few days. And we planned to tour your beautiful city.
Have you had your picture taken with a black person yet?
Well?
I don't think so, but I wouldn't mind doing that.
That's something you'd be willing to try. Why, certainly there's plenty of them, I know. Do you have any of them in Montana?
We don't.
You know, we don't have any.
In fact, I guess our kids were pretty old before they saw one.
You know what we were wrong about the Republicans.
Turns out they could handle a tough question.
After all, a.
Lot of people are upset about the situation in Iraq. Its devolved into this kind of quagmire. I hoping he knows how we're going to get out of it.
That's your opinion, but thank you.
My question for you is, where the.
Fuck are you going?
Explore more shows from the Daily Show podcast universe by searching The Daily Show wherever you get your podcasts.
Watch The Daily Show weeknights at eleven ten Central on Comedy Central, and stream full episodes anytime on Paramount plus
Paramount Podcasts