Republicans Duke It Out in the Ohio Primary | Ziwe

are really great audience. I can tell already you You know how I know is because you chose to be in a room with me, knowing that I've just returned from a super spread events in d C. So let's love. I feel it. Actually, I hope it's love that I feel. We've got a really great show for you tonight from the hit Showtime Talk show Z where Z where is

joining us? Everyone, We'll be ready to all someone else. Plus, the mid term elections are heating up, and so we're gonna find out which politicians are morphing into Donald Trump. So let's do this people, Let's jump straight into today's headlines. Okay, let's kick things off with the latest news coming out of Ukraine. It has now been ten weeks since Vladimir Putin decided to man spread in the worst way possible, and all over the world everyone has been inspired and

impressed by the fortitude of the Ukrainian people. I mean, I know I am. You know, if the Russian army came to my apartment and said, forever this partland belongs to Russia, I've just been like, Okay, Spasseva, that's Vidaniel, I'll sleep on the couch. Fine. But Ukraine hasn't done that. No, They've not backed down. And over the weekend the country got some moral support from the United States when how Speaker Nancy Pelosi led a small group of Democratic Congress

people on a surprise visit to President Vladimir Zelenski in Kiev. Yeah. And when I say surprised, I mean it was a surprise to us. Yeah, not like I wasn't a surprise to Ukraine. You know, They've got enough going on without having to rush out at the last minute for a veggie platter. Just like Nancy's here. Nancy's here, what does she get? Some homos? Maybe also a knay clothes she

likes those. Meanwhile, many countries have condemned Russia since the invasion, but Israel specifically has had one thing that has particularly upset them. You see, before launching their war, Russia claimed the reason it was invading was to remove Ukraine's Nazi government from power. That's what they said. Yeah, and people were like, well, that's weird because Zelenski is literally Jewish. Okay,

who's a weird accusation? And so now Russian Foreign Minister so Rov, he tried to explain Russia's comments and if he was trying to make things worse with Israel, well, mission accomplished. Israel is summoning the Russian ambassador for talks after Russia's foreign minutes are claimed in an interview that it doesn't matter that the Ukrainian president is Jewish since quote Hitler had Jewish blood, and that the worst anti

Semites are Jews. Israel's Foreign Minister Yar Lapide said Lavrov's remarks are both an unforgivable and outrageous statement, as well as a terrible historical error. That the lowest level of racism against Jews is to accuse Jews of anti Semitism. Did this guy say that Jews are the worst anti Semites. You couldn't think of anyone else everyone else about that. That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard, and I've heard ridiculous things. Yeah, I once heard someone say that

Hawkeye should get his own spin off movie. I'm sorry, no, no, I'm not watching archery for three hours. That's just the Olympics. It's an insane or what else does this guy believe that the Johnson and Johnson is the cool vaccine? Who are you? Man? And keep in mind, all of this is happening because Russia painted themselves into a corner. You see what they did is they claimed that their war was about DNA siffying Ukraine, and everyone could tell that

that was bullshit. You know, they should have given an excuse that wasn't so easy to disprove, and they should have said they were going in to defeat like Ukraine's ghosts. Yeah, oh yeah, no, think about it. Then they could just declare victory and and go home. They could just be like all ghosts have been removed from spooky positions in Ukrainian government. His shame. You cannot see how successful we are because, as I said, their ghosts. Anyway, we win.

What is over? Goodbye, now, goodbye. Let's move on for a story that's actually an update from something that we covered last week, and it takes place in England, the country holding onto the rest of the world's artifacts for safe keeping. Yes, because I mean if someone colonized you that they would take all your stuff at least with us. It's say, think about it now. Last week, a British lawmaker was busted for watching pornography on his phone during

a session of parliament. Right, this was a big deal. Yes, because this is England, it's not France. Right, because a huge uproar. And it was such a big uproar in fact, that the MP resigned from his position and issued an apology and an explanation for why he was watching porn on the job. And and apparently he says he was actually looking for some equipment for his farm and things

took a wrong turn. Funnily enough, it was tractors that I was looking at, and so I did get into another website that had a sort of very similar name, UM, and I watched it for a bit, which I shouldn't have done. But my my crime, my biggest crime, UM is that on another occasion, I went in a second time. Oh yeah. This guy says he was looking for a website for farmers and accidentally ended up on a sex site with a similar name. No, no, no, I wanted

corn hop dot com. Oh bother, oh bother. No. You know, if I'm honest with you, it actually sounds like he's telling the truth, honestly, not because like he incriminates himself there. You know. He says he tried to search for farm equipment, landed in the porn website, switched off. But then he says in later I was like, oh, maybe I should look for another tractor. I actually like that because in the beginning I didn't buy this guy's excuse that he

was just looking for tractors and farm equipment. And then I started googling farm equipment and people. You'd be shocked at how naughty farm equipment actually sounds. You could it could happen. Google could like throw you off. Yeah, farm stuff. They've got pipe layers, they got spinner spreaders, they got back holes, they got church sprayers, they got double furrow plows. It all sounds obscene. Yeah. All I wanted was to start a farm to raise my giant Cox and now

you've ruined me. But you know what's amazing to me about the stories how politicians can lose their jobs for normal things that everyone does, right, like watching porn or having an affair. But if they busted for doing something that destroys other people's lives, then nothing happens, you know, people like, hey, did you just make a deal with a corporation that allowed them to blood our rivers and our lakes which made the top of people sick? Like, yes,

I did. Well, at least you weren't watching porn, just trying not to do it again, all right, that's all that matters. It's all that matters. And finally, this next story takes place in space, Earth's attic. For decades now, humans have been obsessed with trying to get to Mars. Why, well, we just want to see what it's like. You know, it's not like there's anything wrong with Earth. We just

want to see what's going on out there, you know. Yeah, it's the same way your dad is currently looking for apartments. The marriage is fine, he just it just needs a place to hang. You know. The important thing is that it's not your fault. It's not your fault anyway. The point is humans are desperate to find out everything we can about Mars. You know, did it used to have water?

Can its support life? Can it be gentrified? And now, thanks to NASA, we've discovered something amazing on the red planets. NASA says it's Ingenuity. Mars helicopter recently discovered and surveyed the debris from the agency's Perseverance Rover mission on Mars one year ago. NASA photos show both the parachute that helped the rover land on Mars, as well as the cone shaped back shell that protected it during its fiery

descent towards the Martian surface on February. NASA says being able to look at some of the components that enabled the rover to get safely to the Martian surface could provide valuable insights for future missions as it. Where are you kidding that? That's that's a big discovery on Mars? Is some garbage that they left there? Why are you announcing with? What do you do? Like I expect the ship from a five year old Look the greatest space agency in the world. Look, Mimi, I found out pooper

in the toilet. That's your poop? You hid. What how is less a problem that we left trash on Mars? Think about that? Huh? If anything, we should be embarrassed the first thing we do on another planet is litter. I mean, I guess it's good to set expectations earlier. But still, guys, can you imagine what the Martians think of us right now? Sheila, Sheila, the two legged freaks came back again and left war trash. I swear to glory if they move here, we're going to vain ish. Yeah.

I don't care if it's further from your sister. At least it doesn't have these shaved monkeys showing up and leaving their shut on our lawn. I would love some t thank you, honey. All Right, that's the headlines before we'll go to a break that's checking on the stock markets about of finance expert Michael cost everybody that's I think, Yeah, what's happening in the markets today? Well, you know the market. I am crushing it. I am crushing. I'm crushing. I got a hot tip for you, and I got a

hot tip for all of you. Uh So, but before we get into it, that story about Mars. I mean, you don't have to go to Mars to photograph trash. You know, New York City hasn't picked up trash in Brooklyn since If you want to see if you want to see some out of this world trash, go to thirty four Making Street. That's where I live. Okay, um, let's get to give you a dress on teeth. But carry on. Yeah right, let's actually one one other thing that that minister, the one who was watching porn. That's

that's that's not funny. You know that that is appalling, It is disgusting and it's very unprofessional. Okay, yeah, okay, let's get to the stocks. Okay, all right. Now, typically an expert investor like myself, I would say invest in the SNP, invest in the d g I A or even an e t F like the v t I. But but when things when things are this volatile, you need an alternative investment strategy. And that's why I like

to promote the Monetary International Liquidated Fund. Okay, And if you need to know more about it, you just grab your computer, go somewhere safe and type in m I l F. Okay, now now lock the door. Experts like myself like to, you know, do your research. So to speak if you if you want something a little more aggressive, maybe not as used, there's always the annuity net asset loan. Okay, just type in a N A L and uh look look look look sometimes it's gonna hurt, but you're gonna

get out of your comfort zone and there's gonna be growth. Now, it's not just all ticker symbol recommendations from an expert like myself. I read. I read a heartbreaking story recently of a young woman who ruined her father's inheritance. And we have to learn from these types of stories because it helps us to protect our money, to be smart with our finances. Uh, grab your computer and just google. Uh step daughter blows father's load. Um. I think you'll

take a lot away from it personally. But also my hot tip, my hot tip, it's all hot tip. You know those privacy screens that we put on computers so people can't look at our computer screens. Oh yeah, you have on your phone as well. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, we should buy those. Yeah, invest in those. Invest in those, Michael, everybody you should buy that. Michaels. Don't go away, because when we come back, Republicans want to punch your soul in Ohio and zero still running off on the show

Don't Go Away, Welcome Back. So with any show, America is once again getting ready for the mid terms, the time of year when voters ask for a refund. But before you get to election day, you have to make it through the primaries, which is when the voters decide which candidates they really hate and which ones they only kind of hate. And tomorrow there's a major primary happening in Ohio, which everyone is watching because you know what they say, as Ohio goes, so goes the nation. Yeah,

so America, bit of prey Ohio. It doesn't switch to natural deoderance because and that ship doesn't work if you try, it's just a rock. I stink at my armpits hurts anyway, Ohio Republicans are battling it out for the rights to

represent the Buckeye State in the Senate. When I say battling it out, I mean it because their debates have almost come to blows, and the said a debate in Ohio almost getting violent when candidate josh Nndel rose from his seat to get in the face of Mike Gibbons too towards in Iraq, Don't Tell me, I haven't worked. You're gonna get back off, sit down, never watch watch it away with you, Watch what happened. If you watch what happens, yeah, kiss him, kiss him on the lifts. Oh,

that's not what's happening. Sorry, I misread the situation. Seemed like there's a lot of sexual tension that I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Hey man, I look, I knew American politics were unpredictable, but I never thought the Republican Party would

pick its leader's wakanda style. You know, it's just like it's the King of In fact, maybe that's something they should add to the debates, right, because I was watching this and I was like, yeah, you could have like a section with a peliticians get to duke it out. It'll get more votes engaged in politics, and the candidates would be a lot more willing to compromise if they knew the other person could beat the ass, you know,

to be like, I'm never raising taxes on the rich. Okay, maybe a little b maybe a little bit, maybe a little bit. I see your points. Now. As it stands, the GOP race has five main candidates vying for the top spot, but there's one name. Everyone keeps talking about JD. Vance. He's a Yale graduate, a venture capitalist, and he became famous for writing the book turned horrible movie He'll Billy Elogy right where he explained that white people become racist

because they're poor. Yeah, that's why they say the N word with the hard are because they can't afford a vow. But what makes what makes Jady Vance unique in this field of Republicans? There's all the trash that he's talked about their dear leader, Donald jelly fish Trump. I'm a never Trump guy. I never liked him. He wrote, Trump's actual policy proposals range from immoral to absurd. Mr Trump is unfit for our nation's highest office. Three months later,

he wrote Trump is cultural heroin. He makes some people feel better for a bit, but he cannot fix what ails them, and one day they'll realize it. A former roommate of Mr. Vance sharing his text messages from in which Mr. Vance reportedly told people how he thought that Donald Trump was going to be quote America's Hitler, they can't stomach Trump. I think that he's noxious. Wow, I

think Trump's noxious. I can only imagine that when Trump heard that, he was probably like, what is noxious, mean Jade Vance slammed Trump in every way possible, every way possible, But in his defense, he did all of that before he realized that Trump was gonna win. Because you see now that Trump has the GOP in the palm of his tiny hands, Jade Vance is now fully on board the Trump train, and I mean fully, and it's not

just him. Basically, everyone in this race has spent the entire campaign trying to show that they were the trumpst Trump thought that and so have I. Trump and Gibbons are businessmen with a backbone. Trump saved our economy before Gibbons knows how to do it. Again. There are pretenders in the Senate race. Jane Timptin is the real Trump conservative. Josh Mandel pro God, pro God, pro Trump, Wow, pro God, and pro Trump. So he's saying those two are different things.

This dude's candidacy is toasts, but this is some serious devotion. I'm the real Trump Conservative. I can save the economy just like Trump. I once shook Trump's hand and I haven't washed it since. My doctor said it's why I

get sick so often. So yeah, basically, everyone spent this entire race trying to get the seal of approval from King Donald even the people who secretly don't think too highly of which we see time and time again, it's normal now, right whether it's J. D. Vance or Kevin McCarthy or countless other Republicans, the entire party right now is basically mean girls. They'll talk about Trump behind his back, but then to his faces are like, oh my god, Donald, you look so hot. Oh my god, I wish I

had your pupa, Oh my god. And guess what. Guess what. In the end, after months of competing to see who who could stick there knows the furthest up Trump's asked, the Trump endorsements went to none other than J. D. Evans, Although clearly Trump doesn't really care about these people as much as they care about him, because listen to what Trump says when he tries to promote Jade events. This happened in a speech yesterday. That's what they're waiting for.

They're waiting for one race. You know, we've endorsed Dr Oz, We've endorsed JP right, j D. Mandel, and he's doing great. They're all doing good. Yeah, that was weird. That was weird. You could see even even the crowd was looking like a man. They look like parents watching their kid bombing in a spelling be There's like, that's those are your jeans? Yeah,

because he really has. Not only did Trump mess up j D Events right, which is a tongue twister, he also combined his name with another candidate, Josh Mandel, which is so shitty. I feel bad for j. D. Events because now he's gonna have to change his name to j P J D Mandel. Yeah, because if you're a Republican, Trump is never wrong. At the GOP Starbucks, whatever name Trump calls, that's you, j J J D. J P

A Mandel. Yeah, that's me. I'll take it. So that's the Republican senator race in Ohio right now, and honestly, anything can happen anything. In fact, there's even a chance that all of these MAGA candidates they could split the vote, and then Matt Dolan, the one candidate in the race who doesn't think Joe Biden stole the election with the help of aliens and zombie Osama bin Laden, he could

actually squeeze out a win. And so for the votes out there, we don't really like any of these candidates, and you in Ohio remember that you can still right in the name of the true underdog in this race. J P J d J C J G J Man Mandel, I'm rooting for you, buddy, all right, don't go away up to the great you are going to joining on the show. But where I back, Welcome back to the

day show. My guest tonight is White Time and Comedian Z, where she's also here to talk about being the star of her second season of her hit showtime series Z, where please welcome, Welcome to the shows there, and thank you for having me. I'm beyond excited to be You're beyond excited. I am enthralled by everything that you're doing, genuinely because like you have what has quickly become like

people's favorite show on TV. Because yeah, because I mean we just saw in that clip you've created a show that is uniquely you and that you'll interview people and it's like the most awkward interview of all time. People would say that I don't make it awkward on purpose.

I'm just a little strange, okay, But but here's the thing. So, so I remember when you first started this was it wasn't on YouTube originating, right, and then it really blew up on Instagram, like during the pandemic, and I would watch people and they would talk to you on Instagram, like the biggest celebrities and be like, oh, I'm gonna let's see what interview me and they look like idiots sometimes and then other times they just looked like they didn't know it was going on, and I was like, why,

why do they How do you get the people to keep talking to you? Well, I celebrate icons, and I enable icons to say iconic things. Oh man, So when people come to the show, do they know the vibe ahead of time? Yes, the episodes are available for stream meg, but but it seems like they don't expect it sometimes, like they feel, you know, like we love it as the viewers, and then we watch like your your guests, and it's it seems like they've just been hit by

like a tent time truck. I think, well, so I am very personable, and so I connect with them, and maybe that's surprising that I'm so kind and hospitable. I also love that the show has like all these these these segments that you've created that have gone not just viral, but it's like into people's hearts. So you know, we've got the guest segments where you interview people. Um, you also have the music, which there's gonna be an album

at some point. Yes, yeah, yes, definitely, definitely. I identify as a pop star, Yes, because I love what was Don't be poor? Stop being Yes, thank you, thank you guys? Are you guys living by Reagonomics today? It's a very powerful song. It's like the lyrics don't match a feat, but it's like it's a yeah, yeah, I I like. I just think that trickle down economics. It works. And I think if you look at yourself in the mirror and say stop being poor, eventually it'll happen. And that's

why I'm reading for Congress. It it feels like this is the kind of show that you probably couldn't have made years and years ago. Like it's so unique, it's so you, it's so specific. It's it's loved by people who know exactly what the show is about. Like, do you think you could have always done this? Has this always been like a brand of comedy? So can I have always done this? No? Because this show pulls from like Real Housewives and Eric Andre and Colbert Report, So

these things didn't exist. Fifteen years ago. Um, but the brand of comedy is consistent. Again, this is my personality. Um, it's a hyperbolic character, but there's a colonel in there. This is you, like deep down inside. I mean, I Z way am kinder than the characters the way you are. Also you are also um supremely talented, not just as the characters the way, but as yourself I mean writing, like creating, performing the whole. You have like a very

specific vision for what you want. Some people don't get it at all, Like I heard that your parents don't. They don't get what you do. Know, they have no understanding of what I do. Do your parents are what you do? Well? My mom sort of she goes like I talked to people. I guess she's sort of but I but yeah, she gets I think she gets it a little bit more, you know what I mean. My parents think that I just talked to GAYL King for a living. So once a year they see me on

CVS this morning and they're like, wow, girl's great? Are they are they proud of you though, because I don't like Nigerian parents are like very proud when their kids do any Like Nigerian parents are just like you you're crushing it whatever you're doing. So are they proud of what you're doing? They're definitely proud of what I'm doing, although they do wish that I was a doctor. But it's a little later. That's what I was wondering because Nigerian parents have that vibe very much like what are

you doing on TV? Are you causing trouble? They literally like, don't tell people your last name. We don't want people to know who you are. Wow. Wow, Um, so you have all these guests on the show you have? Um? I mean like like in that clip for instance. So for people who don't understand the context. Chet Hanks, Tom Hanks's son, Yes, he like blew up again online because like you know, he'll speak, he'll say things like in Patua and then people were like, oh, you're appropriating Jamaican culture.

And it was a really interesting story though, because Jamaicans were like, we love this guy. He's doing it properly. He understands our culture. This is our vibe. And the people in America were like, this is disgusting, don't do it. And Chet was like, I don't give a damn what anyone says. I don't care about you. But then you got him to come on your show. No, he doesn't like speak to anybody. How did you get him to come on? And I went to college together and so yeah,

fun fact and so um. I tried to pook him from my Instagram live and he did not want to do that, and then we had a guest dropout. He was you're texting, he was congratulating me for whatever, and I asked again and he flew in two days later. That's amazing. I just would like, come come in, come in. Check. Yes, it's great that I text check Hanks. Thank you, thank you, thank for your I cloud hacks. Um, No, it's it's

it was great. I mean he asked. He asked if we could promote his fitness app, which we do on the show. Since it was about twenty minutes of chat in the next episode. I like that. Yeah, tester of Marlon Hanks. You gotta love them. You also interviewed Charlemagne the God. Yes, yes, Leonard, and I mean he's he's a controversial figure, like you know for some people and others are like, oh, he's just doing his thing. Was that like a clash of the Titans for you? Was

it a clash of the Titans. No. I I like to think that I'm embracing every single one of my guests, giving them a warm hug. I like that. You think that's like that they have this feeling. You know, wh Who do you think is being your favorite guests? Like of season one at least, it's hard to every guests are like children. You can't pick a favorite, but you can. You can. But like Friendly Boits is so different than Andrew Yang's different than Phoebe Bridger. Is there different energies? Yeah,

but you can't, but you can pick. Every parent knows. Every parent deep down inside knows knows. They say they don't child, that's why you say that no, no no, no, no no, I've got I've got two brothers and my mom knows. I mean, it's like it's like every parent knows. Every kid also assumes is them by the way, but I think every parent knows. What do they say? Oh okay, so you won't say but you know, so don't say it. Just look at me and I'll know. Just just look

at me and think of your favorites. Now, I know, yeah, I know, I can feel like I know not. I know. The show has become a critical smash hit you you you've turned portions of it into like a live performance as well. Um, you've created something completely you, completely different. What do you plan to do for the future, Like, where's you're going to go for from this? I mean obviously gonna keep doing the show hopefully, and then what do you want to do? The White House? The presidency?

Oh like the actual Oh wow? All right, so then let's talk about it so zero becomes present. What are some of your policies stopping poor Yeah? Okay, powerful? Nobody has thought of that. I like that. No one has said that. I don't think there's any politician who's thought of that, as it may work very powerful. Um any

any other ideas to fix the country yet rich myself? Yes, okay, okay, alright, anything in addition to that um brat stalls for every human in American Wow, these are powerful, powerful policies that you are that you're putting forward. Thank you. I haven't thought about my platform, but you don't really need a from anywhere. You just gotta be famous, bog all right, people don't forget. New episodes of Z were stream Fridays on Showtime. We're gonna take a quick break We'll be

right back possible. We're gonna fast fast tonight before we go. Before we go, please come. Sort of Supporting Counseling for Kids an organization founded with the goal of providing mental health services to children in Los Angeles Counties foster care system. Counseling four Kids has grown to serve approximately six children per year, with a large team of highly skilled licensed therapists providing assessments and weekly therapy to children and the youth.

So if you can support them in they work, then please donates at the link below until tomorrow. Stay safe out there, and remember, if people think you're a piece of rash on Earth, just go to space. They'll love you. What's the Daily Show weeknights at eleven tenth Central on Comedy Central and stream full episodes anytime on Paramount Plus. This has been a Comedy Central podcast