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Yew Donald Trump got a new best friend, global stunner.
The President agrees to meet face to face with North Korea's leader, something no president has ever done.
The decision to meet came suddenly and dramatically. Once President Trump heard that Kim Jong un wanted to meet with him, he quickly agreed.
The President was ecstatic, poking his head into the White House briefing room to announce that something big was about to happen.
This is the cutest story I've heard about Trump in a long time. He was so excited Kim Jong un wanted to meet him that he was running around the White House telling everyone. He's like, did you guys hear?
I said, yes, rocket Man never had a lover like this before.
Now, a sitting US president meeting with the leader of North Korea is like a Sesame Street episode about group sex. It's never happened, which is why, which is why, Oh, you can look at that for a moment. You can enjoy that they have needs too. You know, it's natural, which is why, Like that Sesame Street episode, nobody really knows if it's a good idea.
A lot of us feel that Kim Jong un is a bully who needs to be handled by another bully.
I am highly skeptical of the idea of meeting with the head of a gulag state and handing over legitimacy.
But he's not prepared, Jonathan, that's the problem. There's no one at the State Department to brief him.
We have no ambassador to South Korea.
Will he be prepared? We don't know.
But Donnie, you have to admit that the previous White House and the one before that had some of the most well prepared, brilliant foreign policy minds that we've ever seen, and it was failure.
Ooh, that's a really good point. The experts have been trying to solve North Korea for twenty years and it's only gotten worse. So if the smart people can't do it, why not try Trump? Right, It's like if you had a rare disease that the world's top doctors couldn't cure, so you were like, you know what, why not let that dog in a hat give it a try. Yeah, how did he even get that hat? He's got to
be pretty smart. Now, many foreign policy experts have concerns about sending such an unpredictable negotiator into a nuclear arms discussion. But don't forget that unpredictability throws off the other side too.
North Korean state media, which we have been monitoring very very closely since this announcement first came out.
A couple days ago about this potential meeting, hasn't mentioned it. The North Koreans have been so eerily quiet on the topic.
President Trump has an unorthodox foreign policy, and I think he took the North Koreans by surprise, just like everyone else.
Yeah, you see, North Korea made the offer, but they didn't think that Trump was going to say yes. So now they also don't know what to do. Yeah, it's like if cat calling actually were He's like, hey, Saxy, my mustache is lonely. Want to take it for a ride. And the woman was like, sure, let's have sex right now. Okay, I mean, uh, I guess I could ask my boss, but I have all these nails to hammer. Okay, bye
bye now. So look, I know it's easy to presume the worst because Trump is basically a nuclear knowledge free zone. But what if he gets this right anyway? What if he goes to North Korea doesn't say anything racist even bonds with Kim because they go to the same supercuts, right, and then they reach a historic agreement to get rid of North Korea's nukes. That would be amazing. We'd celebrate until President Trump gets home and we realize he forgot
to sign the last page. Throw the right back. Kim Jong un, the leader of North Korea, might be making some new friends.
Breaking news historic development on the Korean peninsula. North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un and South Korea's president will hold a summit next month. These two nations have only held talks twice since the Korean War.
The South Korean president will meet with him next month. President Trump is hoping to meet with them in May, and now the Japanese are saying they're trying to reach out through different diplomatic channels. Kim Jong un might feel like the prettiest girl at the high school dance.
Oh that's so one ugly ass high school dance.
Whoo.
But this is good news for everyone. Kim Jong un has gone from being a reclusive madman who has held bent on blowing up the world to a super social mad man held bent on blowing up the world. This is good.
This is good.
And this announcement comes just a day after Kim made a secret trip to China for a summit with President g Now. I say it was a secret trip and they tried to keep it under wraps, but there was one tiny giant clue.
A mysterious trains visit to Beijing is feeling lots of speculation.
A motor kae, heavy security, a near lockdown in downtown Beijing this morning. We're a North Korean train unexpectedly into the city last night. The distinctive green train is identical to the heavily armored one used to carry Kim Jong UN's father to Beijing eight years ago. It is pretty clear that someone very senior from North Korea is in Beijing.
Is North Korea's Kim Jong Un in China?
Oh?
Yes? Who could have been traveling in Kim Jong's personal train. It's like the most obvious mystery of all time. It's like needing Shazam to find out who's singing a two chain song. It's like two chins. I wonder who sings is? I just said my name Tou Changs. I won it. It's jay z No, I said it too change. I love how everyone is trying to figure out who is on Kim Jong UN's train, Like, just follow the tracks they go back to his house. Do they come from
North Korea? Then it's him, Like these are the same people who'd be like, who's that old man riding on the popemobile? You get one guess, all right, you can't be low key if you're rolling in your own personal train, Like it must be super hard for Kim jongling to cheat on his wife, Like, baby, I swear I was never there. It's like already I had the train schedule. It says seven point fifteen to de Nise's house.
You busted.
For decades, North Korea has been one of the world's biggest challenges, a rogue nation armed with nuclear weapons. In fact, when Barack Obama handed off the presidency to Donald Trump, he told him that North Korea would be the biggest problem that he would face now. Of course, back then Obama didn't know that Trump had sex with Stormy Daniels, but that's not his faults anyway. Just a couple of months ago, people feared that nuclear war was on the horizon.
But now North and South Korea could be on the brink of a major breakthrough.
North and South Korea could be preparing to announce a permanent end to the Korean War after a sixty five year ceasefire.
President Trump giving his blessing to a new round of peace talks between North and South Korea.
They've been very generous that without us, and without me in particular, I guess you would have to say that they wouldn't be discussing anything, including the Olympics, would have been a failure. Instead, it was a great success.
You know, you know, I know, our first instinct is to hate. And it's also weird that Trump makes it all about himself. But Trump is right right. If it wasn't for his craziness, North Korea would have never come to the table, you know, that's what he did. Trump is like the near death experience that makes people forget why they were fighting in the first place. That's who
he is. So this seems like actual progress. And we also learned, we just learned in fact, that the Trump administration has been sliding into Kim Jong's DMS.
Stunning news tonight word that CI director Mike Pompeo secretly met with North Korean leader Kim Jong earned just a few weeks ago.
Just yesterday, the White House said it doesn't comments on the CIA director's travel. The president writing meeting went very smoothly and a good relationship was formed.
Wow, this is big news. Things are really changeanging between the US and North Korea. CIA chief Mike Pompeo secretly met with Kim Jong un, which is a big deal because it's been almost eighteen years since North Korea's leader met with a high level American not high high level, Okay, Like the last time this type of meeting happened, it was the year two thousand. You realize back then, Kim Jong un hadn't even adopted his signature hairstyle, yet he was still rocking the Rachel.
This is way back.
And I will say in this whole story, in this whole story, it's so funny to see how excited President Trump is about finally getting something right. Because, as you heard, everyone who works for Trump was trying to keep the Kim Jong un meeting under wraps, but Trump, being Trump, just couldn't keep it to himself. He tweeted about it, and then just watching the way Trump couldn't hold it in is probably the funniest thing I've seen all day.
Who in the administration has talked with North Korea directly, Sir. He was drag so hot, He was drag so hot, but he couldn't help you. You could see he was like, be presidential, be presidential, be presidential. Yes, yes, we talked to him three pm on Tuesday, the secret location. No, I'm sorry, Can we can we just play that one more time?
Can we play?
What's when the administration has talked with North Korea directly? Sir? Oh man, It almost gets better the more you watch it, because like, this is funny. The whole point of a secret meeting is that you're not supposed to tell anyone. If you're in the CIA, you must you must dread sharing information with Donald Trump and be like, Sir, I finished my secret mission.
Trump is like, okay, hold on, you guys won't believe who's year.
It's Jason Born. Jason Born is here?
Everybody?
Okay, where were we sorry about Dad? Like for a guy who owns casinos, Trump has no poker faiths at all. It's probably why all his places fail, right, He was probably training all these dealers. Like now, what you want to do is when you get a bad card, you go ew what a historic day North Korea and the United States meeting for the first time ever. And this is right up there with all the other great moments in diplomacy. I mean Reagan and gorbachewv Arafats and Rabin,
Starbucks and black people. I mean, this is this is huge. And before we even start, we've all got admits that we were wrong. Right. We said the man couldn't do it, We said his temper would blow up the summit. But yesterday he proved everyone wrong and turned the nuclear summit in Singapore into a huge win for himself. So let's swallow our pride and give it up for a leader who's much smarter than we thought. Kim Jong un. Everybody
give it up with Kim Jong un. Ah ah, because I mean no, let's be honest, people, This dude crushed it yesterday. I know everyone's focus is gonna be on Trump, but this summit belonged to Lil Kim.
He was the belle of the ball.
Think about it. The government paid right, The government of China paid for his private plane, the government of Singapore paid for his hotel, and the presidents of the United States flew to meet him. On his side of the world, this guy was treated like the world's biggest diva. He probably had one of those riders in his contract that said no green emin ms in the dressing room. He was like, you take out all the green emin ms
and you send them to a labor camp. Mm mmm, I mean think about It's just crazy to think that just a few months ago, Kim Jong un was universally detested right, nobody wanted anything to do with him. On the subway Car of Life, Kim Jong un was the guy in the corner clipping his toenails. That's who he was. But as soon as he touched down in Singapore, the panties came flying off.
From the hermit kingdom to the grand stage North Korean dictator Kim Jong soaking up the Singapore spotlight.
I did not expect to see the Supreme Leader coming by. Oh, it was amazing site. Hi. I couldn't que believe that this was really happening.
On a tour about town Monday, I Kim taking selfies with his host, the ruthless tyrant, cheered on by spectators, getting the rock star treatment.
Yo. Fame turns people into such idiots because one minute people are like, did you hear that? Kim Jong un slaughter's entire families and imprisons their children. It's one.
Oh my god, it's Tam Caim over here. Kim, can we take a selfie?
He looked at me. Oh my god, it's the best day of my life. People are screaming for a brutal tyrant like he's the newest member of BTS. Like, except in this world, k pop stands for killing populations, Like what are you doing? I mean, even Kim Jong un is probably surprised by this reaction. He's like, I'm used to screaming, but not happy screaming. What is this? And there was no one in Singapore who wasn't impressed with Kim's famous running bodyguards, Kim.
Creating quite a spectacle. Those bodyguards keeping pace alongside his limo. Handpicked by the dictator. The men chosen for their fitness, martial arts skills, and even their looks.
You know, if you need running bodyguards, I understand choosing people for their fitness, but for their looks? Why does he care? Was Kim jong un gazing out of the window one time and he was like, ugh, who's that guy? Oh? From now on, hotties only that is a hard job, though, you have to admit. And the good news for these guys is that now Kim Jong un is a celebrity, which means they're all going to become more famous too.
In fact, I think it's only a matter of time until they all get their own sponsorship deals.
People ask me why do you run? Why do you train so hot? People ask why you, I say, because he only picks the fittest and best looking. People asking why why don't you just ride in the.
Car too, I tell them I don't know.
I've asked.
Kin likes his space. I guess I need to get a pair of those.
But it turns out Kim's biggest admirer wasn't in those crowds outside. No fanboy Number one was right there at the Summits earlier.
Before their historics sit down in Singapore, the two leaders sizing each other up with a handshake.
Yeah you heard that right, President Trump said meeting Kim Jong un was his great honor. I mean, then again, when you've appeared in a McDonald's commercial talking to Grimace, everything seems like an honor.
I get it, I get it.
But this alone, this alone, is what North Korea has been pining for for decades, right equal standing with the American president making hands. They're flags side by side. Some may have seen that and thought, oh, Trump's being nice for now, but when he gets Kim alone in that negotiation room, he's gonna denuke his nuts off. But it turns out only one man lost his nuts in that room.
Trump and Kim signed a joint document committing to work towards quote complete denuclearization of the Korean Peninsula. The agreement is short on specifics, like whether the denuclearization will be verifiable and irreversible.
There's nothing new in this agreement. These are vague assertions from North Korea. Piece of paper that got signed yesterday is frankly week. I mean, this is not a strong piece of paper, So hold up. Donald Trump flew across the world to Singapore, and all he got was Kim Jong Lunn saying I'll think about giving up my nukes. That's all he got. They could have done that over text, because you realize Kim didn't commit to anything. He basically
facebook RSVP'd a nuclear deal. That's all he did. And while Kim gave up nothing major, he got the American president to give up.
A lot more, President Trump making a massive concession, agreeing to stop joint military exercises between the United States and South Korea, exercises that greatly annoyed the North Korean leader. South Korea caught off guard by the President's announcement, responding that they need to figure out the accurate meaning and intention behind the statement.
Good luck with that, South Korea. Yeah, good luck. We've been trying to figure out Trump's accurate meaning and intentions since the day he stepped off that escalator. Yeah, like Mexicans are rapist? Does that mean they're rate this? Well, this is incredible. Kim jong un went up against the world's greatest negotiator, the man who literally hired someone to write the art of the deal, and got him to give up something for nothing. It's almost like Kim Jong un did a Jedi mind trick on Trump.
You know.
Trump was like, yes, I will stop military exercises, and I will also pick you up from the airport.
It'll be fun. Kim Jong un he owned the summits so hard. By the end, he'd even turned the leader of the free world into his personal hype man.
Kim Jong Un, as you know, has killed family members, has starved his own people. Why are you so comfortable calling him very talented?
Well, he is very talented. Anybody that takes over a situation like he did at twenty six years of age and is able to run it and run it tough.
Kim is a brutal dictator. He runs a police state for starvation, labor camps. He's assassinate members of his own family. How do you trust a killer like that? His country does love him, his people. You see the fervor. They have a great fervor.
I think they're going to end up with a very strong country and a country which has people that they're so hard working, so industrious.
So you saw people enslaved in labor camps and you thought, man, these people love their jobs. Really, Donald, this is what happens when you're friends with Kanye West. I mean and now and now, don't get me wrong. Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying President Trump shouldn't have negotiated with Kim Jong un at all, But there's a big gap between being civil with the person and endorsing the Freddy Krueger
of Human Rights. The only part of that summit that didn't seem to go Kim's way is when Donald Trump slipped up and appeared to make a fat joke about his new friend. Yeah, the look, the look on Kim Jong UN's face, It's like a scene out of the office, like he's you can see he's thinking, make him look thin?
You mean I'm not thin?
Why didn't anyone tell me? Was it the death cams?
Why can't you tell me?
And I guess from Trump's perspective, this is what he got out of the whole summits. Yeah, when he gets back to the White House, these people are going to be like, mister President, you sold America down the river. And He'll be like, yeah, but did you see that fat joke? Worth it?
We'll be right back.
North Korea. When President Obama left office, he warned Donald Trump that Kim Jong UN's nuclear threats would be his biggest challenge. Well, that and learning to read, but mostly the nuclear challenge. And after Trump's second summit with the North Korean snowman, it turns out Obama may have been rights breaking news no deal.
President Trump's high stakes nuclear talks with Kim Jong Un suddenly break down overnight.
President Trump begetting an eight thousand mile journey home from Hanoi empty handed.
Sometimes you have to walk, and this was just one of those times.
No concessions, no deal, no final photo op, a closing ceremony scheduled to celebrate an agreement scrapped. Even lunch was canceled with the table already set. Wow.
You know something must have gone wrong when these two turned down lunch.
Wow.
Although I bet after they left the room, Kim Jong un came back and he was like, Ah, can I get this lunch to go please? There's a lot of hungry people in my country, and I want to eat this in front of them. Yeah. But yes, After months of anticipation, nuclear talks between the US and North Korea have completely broken down. And I don't know about you, but I was shocked because my boy Trump has been telling us that he and Kim Jong un are good, I mean, like real good.
I mean we have a good chemistry together. Kim Jung hun. We have a great chairman, Kim. We have a great chemistry like him.
He likes me.
The relationship is good. Oh, we go back and forth and then we fell in love. Okay, now, really he wrote me beautiful letters and they had great letters.
We fell in love you see, you see Trump and Kim fell in love. And I know that sounds weird, but when you think about it, Kim Jong un is totally Donald Trump's type. Right. All of Trump's best relationships are with people who are half his age and don't speak English. It works, that's when the relationship be best. That's what I'm saying. And I'll be honest. I'll be honest. When this summit started, it seemed like love was still in the air.
The day started with the promise of a deal to get rid of the regimes nuclear weapons.
President Trump and Kim Jong un are really enjoying their alone time. The two leaders took a walk around.
The pool at the historic Metropol Hotel.
Kim, for the first time, took questions from the Western press.
Then if I'm not really good, it's that I won't.
Be here right now.
Oh wow, that's right. Things were going so well there. For the first time ever, Kim Jong un took a question from the Western press and he answered with swag. You heard him, like you.
Plan to do it?
He's like, if I wasn't planning to do it, I wouldn't be here. Yeah, that's amazing. That's progress because I mean in North Korea, when a reporter asks him a question, his response is usually great question, feed him to the lions, and then feed the lions to me. They wouldn't give me that lunch to go. So if everything started out great, what turned their love affair saur. Well, it's the same thing that turns most relationships, Saur. They both just wanted different things.
The US was hoping for more concrete steps from Yanyang towards a deal that is verifiable and enforceable.
There was a fundamental disagreement. Kim Jong un wants the crushing sanctions on his country lifted before dismantling his nuclear program.
Basically, they wanted these sanctions lifted in their entirety, and we couldn't do that. They were willing to denukee a large portion of the areas that we wanted, but we couldn't give up all of the sanctions for that aw man.
So that's what happened. Kim wanted Trump to give everything up, but before he did, Trump wanted to guarantees in exchange, classic relationship dilemma. Yeah.
Trump was like, Kim, if I'm going to open my trade to you, then we need to make this official.
Kim was like, official, why are we gonna put labels on this?
Baby?
Huh? We have fun, isn't it that all that matters? Remember our trip to Singapore? Come on, man.
Then was like, I know, but it's just that people are saying you're taking advantage of me.
I'm always flying to you. You never flying to me. It's like, Donnie, Donnie, baby, I told you, man, once my economy takes off, I'll be flying to you all the time. Man.
He's like, I just don't understand why you won't let me check your nuclear sites.
He's like, oh, you don't trust me, man, you don't trust me. Donnie. I say, there's no nukes, there's no oaks. Man, you want to check my sight's time check the sites.
No.
One was like okay, no, you're not going to check the sites. There's no love without trust, Donnie. There was a test. China was right about you, I'm out and Donald was like, no, give.
Way, give I need to build a wall around my height.
That's how it all went down.
And now, even though Kim Jong un made Trump fly to the other side of the world for nothing, Trump still believes that they can work things out.
When we walked away. It was a very friendly walk. We shook hands. We uh, you know, there's a there's a warmth that we have now. I hope that stays. I think it will. I want to keep the relationship, and we will keep the relationship. We'll see what happens over the next period of time.
Oh shame, Donald, This is so tough to watch, man, because we've all we've there, We really have all been there. You told your friends this was gonna work out, and despite the warnings, you still carried on. And now you're trying to save face because you think everyone's judging you, which we totally are. But instead of dragging this out, Donald, I think it's time to accept that maybe, just maybe Kim is just not that into you.
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