Obama Rallies for Harris, Trump's IVF Claim, and Juggalos’ Political Leanings | Jason Segel

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This is the Daily Joke with your Holy Jersey Lion.

Jo.

I'm Jessey Lightek. We've got so much to talk about.

Tonight, Trump and Kamala focus on their problem areas. President Obama holds an intervention in Fox News locks Trump in a room full of women. So let's get right into it with another installment of Indecision twenty four. For president, there are certain demographics that the candidates can depend on. For instance, Donald Trump has locked down evangelicals, blue collar men, teenage boys who call their mom bitch, frat boys who sing the N word and rap songs, and Americans who

And I know what you're thinking.

But DESI, He's groped so many women I know, and yet still he trails. So today, the Trump campaign, I mean Fox News organized a town hall for him with an all female audience.

And just take a look at this set.

They built with an old timey wagon and bales of hay.

It's a reminder of the good old days.

When men were men and women weren't allowed to vote. But go ahead, Donald, reassure women that you're on their side. Just don't make it creepy.

IVF.

You had mentioned before IVF.

Get this question, yeah, because I believe that's what this is about.

All I want to talk about IVF.

I'm the father of IVF.

So I want to hear this question.

So close, so close, it's it's not enough for you to say that you support IVF. You've got to make it weird and say I'm the father of IVF. Sounds like he broke into the lab and fertilized all the eggs with his own pudding. Now I can never eat putting again. So Darth Trump is ivf's father. I didn't see that coming.

But what about other important issues?

Well, Fox wasn't so cruel as to put Trump in front of a room of any women. They hand selected conservative supporters, which might explain why one particular women's issue came up.

How do you plan on addressing the transgender issue in women's sports?

Will shop it?

We absolutely stop it. You can't have it.

How do you stop it? Do you go to the sports leagues? Do you go to the elope you just ban it?

The president bans it, You just don't.

Let it happen.

Yes, as everyone knows, the president has three major responsibilities, commanding the military, signing bills into law, and personally managing the rules for every JV field hockey team. It's right there in the Constitution on page What the heck are you talking about? That is not a presidential power. I shouldn't have to explain this to someone who has already been president.

Does he think the Supreme Corps will just let him do? Oh? Yeah, oh yeah, yes, they probably will. They probably will.

But while Trump's reaching out to women, Kamala is trying to shore up support with another demographic, black men, which is crazy. I really thought that Taylor Swift endorsement would totally seal it. But in the past few days, Kamala has gone on The Breakfast Club, Roland Martin, the Shade Room, all the shows that make your racist uncle lock the car doors when they come on the radio, And in addition to her interviews, she released a plan specifically aimed at winning over blackmail voters.

Harris announced a new plan aimed at winning them over, including one million forgivable small business loans, a focus on health issues that disproportionately affect black men, and legalizing recreational marijuana to boost the industry and create new jobs.

It also supports pathways for black men to become educators, promises to protect their cryptocurrency investments. Wait, I get the business loans and healthcare, but crypto, I guess because black men deserve the opportunity to be scammed like everyone else. And legalizing weeds should be popular too. But Kamala is a former prosecutor's it's always a little suspicious when a cop approaches black men to offer them marijuana.

Hey, I heard you guys like drugs. Me too.

But there's one black man that Kamala definitely doesn't need to win over.

That's right, Barack Obama. Barack, give us that sweet, sweet hope and change.

Former President Barack Obama delivering a surprise lecture to black men today, accusing them of having sexist reasons for not wanting to vote for Kamala Harris.

Part of it makes me think that, well, you just are feeling the idea of having a woman as president, and you're coming up with other alternatives and other reasons for it. So now you're thinking about sitting out or even supporting somebody.

Who has a history of denegrating.

You because you think that's a side strike, because.

That's what being a man is, putting women down. That's not accepting.

You're in trouble.

I think this is the first time someone told an entire demographic. It was grounded, and I feel bad for the guys in that room. They were like President Obama's coming in today, what's he going to talk about?

How much you suck shit?

Now?

As much as Harris is focusing on black men, it's important to have some perspective because poles show that Kama is getting support from about eighty percent of black men versus about twenty percent for Trump or as Trump would put it.

And my numbers with the black and especially black men. I love black men, I love them. I love them. I have gone through the roof with black men, black men.

Black men, black men.

He says it like he's been practicing really hard not to call them something else. For more on these demographics and their support, we go Live to Atlanta barbershop with Josh Johnson. Josh, I think it's obvious what I want to ask you about you're at the barber shop.

What do women want?

Thank you, DESI. I assumed you'd ask me about this. Women want a candidate who puts them in control of not just their bodies, but their economic futures. You know, when you're out to brunch with your besties and you're sipping on apple cider mimosas living for fall, all right, and you realize Jessica couldn't come because child care costs more than a girl's trip to Abifa. That's what this election is about for women, and also, I assume for black men. But you tell me I'm no expert.

Well, well, I think what black men want right now is equal opportunity. They want a criminal justice system that isn't whack, especially when it comes to marijuana charges.

You know, when you're hooping on the.

Courts with the squad, except your point guard DeVante got scooped up by five to zero for holding the same thing that white man's writing prescriptions for uptown. So now instead of running fives, you got to run force.

That's what this election is about.

I've never thought about it that way, but women can relate to that, especially with the wage gap. How many times have the girls been having a total Sunday fun day? I mean hitting, I mean hitting William so Noma because they got twenty percent off on our pack of throws. But then you get to Polia's class and Mark is somebbing for Cindy, but his playlist has no Chapel, no Charlie, no Tayte. But you know he probably makes more money than her. That's what this election is about.

Yeah, Pepe, this what what black men want is financial stability. You know, when you're at the club sipin' Henny and you see a shorty from across the room and she's thick, so you want to take her back to your crib, but you live with your moms because the housing market go crazy. That that is what this election is about.

For Jerseys, Inflation is giving a lot of people the ick. Okay, have you seen how expensive it is just to get your bangs trimmed?

Can't be worse than the price of do rags.

Toats?

Yeah.

Of course, with all the focus on women and black men, I do wonder if there's other demographics that're feeling left out.

Yes, hello, thank you.

Oh Troy, Troy wanna.

Amazing I assume you're on Fire Island at a drag brunch.

I'm in my home, DESI.

Oh yeah, I'm reporting in because someone needs to speak for a community that I care deeply about, the rural football datskay, no one cares about their issues.

Are the candidates just gonna.

Let NFL defenses keep the too high safety concept?

It makes the game so boring. Let's go.

Men and their football.

Tight.

Thank you, Johnny Wanna and Josh Johnson.

Everyone.

When we come back, we find out what the.

Clients you want in this.

Welcome back to the Daily Show.

We've been discussing how the candidates are trying to secure the votes of key demographics. But there's one demographic they might be forgetting. Troy Uwanta has more.

Like most presidential elections, this election will be determined by disengaged, working class independent voters from a few Midwest states. So I'm at a gathering of such voters in Thornville, Ohio.

Okay, So it's twenty twenty four.

We have a very exciting presidential election coming up, very exciting. Everyone's really really happy about it. Who are you voting for?

No one, none.

Of you know. Are you going to vote?

Hell?

No, why don't you plan.

To vote, because like you're voting for two people who pretty much doesn't care about your existence.

Like there's nothing that has been improving for us low income people.

It's been shit.

I have never voted in my life.

I never will vote.

Juggalos don't get involved in politics.

Yes, this is the gathering of the Juggalos, a music festival where young people in America's heartland explore new frontiers in fashion, self care, and the arts while enjoying the music of Insane Clown Posse and other popular acts of the.

Murder clown genre.

These tens of thousands of disengaged youths could be a powerful voting block if only a political party would address the issues they care about.

A hundred percent.

I believe global warming is real.

Manig gets hotter and hotter and hot they go.

Through the summers.

You know it's nine am and you already have.

Your shirt on it.

How do you feel about cutting taxes for billionaires?

Yes, I think billionaires should pay more taxes.

In a way, they're sociopathic clowns, legalizing drugs, trans rights, being pro choice, women's rights.

I think are ethos are based upon However, you want.

To be, you know, a killer clown.

If you want to be a trans killer clown, by all means, please do. I'm really glad that the killer clown community has opened up to the.

Trans community as well.

And there's one policy preference. The juggal Letes feel especially strongly about abortions.

That's that's women, that's how. No one has control over that but us. We don't want to get getting nutted in and have babies.

All the suns like I will be.

I'd like to be child three in my twenties.

I'm gonna put that on a T shirt by the way, Yeah, that'd be a killer T shirt. Unsurprisingly, the Juggalos were interested in the third party candidate, and their pick turned out to be more politically viable than RFK Junior. The world will be a much better place in my opinion, if there was a Juggalo in the I need the clouds will turn pink of a juggalom.

Honestly, I like how a violent Jy's mindset works.

Okay, yeah, or Shaggy two, though I'd have them up in the white holes in hip.

I'd say Shaggy as president and then violent j is second.

And that makes sense too, as because President Violent J.

Might scare some people.

Of course, the Juggalos would want one of their own in the White House. So I put on my best Juggalo formal were to find out if Violent J himself would accept the nomination.

That no, that is no amount of money.

You've got to dope places. Yeah, they give you a night tinanary. You gotta get up all early, as shit.

That's the number one qualification of the president.

You have to get up early.

Even though Violent J refused the mandate of commander in chief, he had clear policy preferences on every thing. For mass deportation.

Though now I remember why I hated Trump.

That wall shit to women's rights and the right to beatle shit.

Environmental conservation.

We think we're the superior animal on this planet.

Right, let me tell you what the spiry animal is a while.

It's the biggest and progressive taxation, my mom said.

The Democrats basically are saying less taxes on the poor, more taxes on the rears.

I'm assuming you pay taxes.

The painus and I'm happy about it.

I paid double what they asked.

I was starting to get a sense of where Violent J stood on the issues but did the head of the insane clown nation see himself in any of the candidates to lead our insane clown nation?

A little pussy holdish on the uh fact that he refused to paint his beard.

You know what I mean?

Yeah, he's a pussy because he didn't paint his beard.

A pussy hurt?

All right?

What about good ole dt Kim okay.

Because he's all about that wall? All right? This is Tim Walls.

This is Kamala, Harris's VP.

Who Kamala has the whole che vice president?

Yeah, I'm absolutely opinionless.

I'm that man.

All right.

Last we have Kama.

I wanted to win because she's a Democrat and I love my mom.

Okay, I see it.

All right, that's a beautiful sentiment.

Yeah yeah, how do you say her first name? Kamala?

Kamala?

Yeah, Kamala like kama La.

That's fresh.

Sorry, I met the mushrooms a kicken.

Oh sure, sure, I forgot mine.

So violent Jay is backing Harris. See, not all Juggalers are sitting this election out. Now, what are the odds he's gonna remembered about on November?

Fill?

What?

Thank you?

Let me come back Jason.

Will be ringing on the shouted A.

Welcome back to the Day show.

My guest tonight is an Emmy nominated actor who stars in the Apple TV Plus series Shrinking. Please welcome Jason Single.

Got Greig fans here. We are all huge fans of yours.

Thanks, I'm a huge fan of yours. Actually, yeah, I think what you do is really important.

Oh that's very kind, true, very kind. I have loved you since Freaks and Geeks.

Yeah, the good old dass.

Forgetting Sarah Marshall is still I think one of the greatest rom coms of all times, still holds up. Yeah, and nominated for an Emmy last year for season one of Shrinking. Now you're back at it season two. You're not just starring in this show, you co created it with Bill Lawrence and Brett Goldstein.

How did that all come about?

I'm really lucky. I got kind of a free ride on this one in that I got a call from Bill and Brett. They had both had an idea about a therapist going through a nervous breakdown, and they got in touch with me and asked if I wanted.

To play the guy.

Actually, the truth of the story is apparently. Yeah, I was on a walk and I was listening to I know what I was listening to at the time. I was listening to Sign Sealed delivered by Stevie Wonder, and I was like, yeah, I was walking along kind of dancing to myself. And apparently the producer texted Bill Lawrence just saw Jason Siegel.

He seems happy. Let's do a show with him. That's a true story.

I love that.

Yeah.

Yeah, life's not fair at all.

I have got to start dancing in the streets more often.

I couldn't agree more. I changed my life.

I have to say, if I did that, I feel like people would be like, someone needs to pay that woman to stop moving like that.

Yeah.

I'm also a gigantic human being and I live in a small town and I kind of function like the town big bird.

Just a joyful big bird.

Yeah, I do what I can.

Oh my god, your chemistry is so good with Harrison Ford on this show. You have this great, like buddy comedy dynamic. How did you get him to sign on to do comedy? Did he see your full frontal.

Scene in f.

Because I'll be honest, it's the whole reason you're here today.

Yeah, I accept that I have not told this story. Actually, it's funny you ask, because I know you're joking. He was not that familiar with me, and so they said you should watch for Getting Sarah Marshall. You'll get a sense of what this guy does. And apparently he went off and he watched it and he texted Bill Lawrence, I'm in bt W, good dick, and I have it framed. I have the text printed and framed.

You would almost retire after that, not that anyone wants you.

I mean, you got Harrison Ford to compliment.

Your Yeah, yeah, good job.

You should have gotten that ammy.

I know, yeah, I know, I know. Pretty cool, right.

You also work with one of our Daily Show alums, the brilliant Jessica Williams.

The best, Yes, the best.

She really is.

I'm sure you know and relate.

But like doing improv is a vulnerable thing, and there is a sense that if you if you go past the line, it can be embarrassing. If you get it wrong, it can be embarrassing. And I have never had a co star be so there to catch the ball and throw it back with the mentality of like, if this ship is going down, we're going down.

Together.

I will ride the Titanic down with you. And I just feel I haven't felt this way since Paul Rudd.

I feel like, Yeah, I feel like I have.

A teammate that I can depend on till the end.

That's so cool. Yeah, we love her. We miss her very much. If you ever talk about us.

Yeah, yeah, all the time.

Lie. You're a good actor though.

Yeah.

No, you play therapist in their show. Are you good at giving advice? Do people in your life come to you and ask for guidance?

That's a good question. I suppose they do. Yeah, I get right at it, Like I don't really have a sense of pride or shame.

Great.

Yeah, so if someone asked me about my life, I kind of go right to it. And I think that opens a door of vulnerability so people can share stuff.

Really, I'm happy you said that.

Okay, good, Great, you got questions.

We ask some people around the office to submit some questions that we would love for you to give advice on. Are you ready, okay, real quick, Mary Kill, which.

Of those is the worst to do at your sister's wedding?

You have to pick? Yeah, Mary, Mary, that.

Is probably the worst thing you could do.

How do you handle a coworker who keeps slacking off by only coming in one day a week.

This is a very specific one, isn't.

It very Just tell them they're doing a great job.

Great job, Mondays are good enough.

Yeah, that's right. Mondays are going to have to be good enough.

Stay in your life, that's right. Okay, that's my boyfriend.

The anti Garfield.

I am Loveday Love Monday.

Okay, my boyfriend's just got in some legal trouble involving one thousand bottles of lube at his house.

Should I dump him?

It's a good time. It's a good time to move on.

All signs point to get out of the trouble.

So much lube. It's so much.

It's a shocking amount. Yeah, yeah, it really is.

That's a forgetting Sarah Marshall amount of lube? Really, thank you?

Reference. Okay, this one totally anonymous.

How can I be better friends with guests on the show that I find super interesting and have cool friends like Harrison Ford.

That's a sweet as it happened already, I feel like it happened already.

Oh my god, it's almost as good as Harrison Ford complimenting my dick.

It's right out there.

Thank you.

We can.

We're friends now for sure. You have just wrapped season two of Shrinking. What are you doing next?

I'm leaving tomorrow to go to Finland to make an action movie.

It's the coolest thing that you possibly could have said.

Yeah, well, I think I know what your superhero attribute is.

What's that?

Well? Harrison Ford said, yes.

Yeah, I forget that. I'm like a gigantic human being. And when I do this fight choreography. In my head, I'm like small, I'm like Kermit in my own brain. But it turns out I look like a one man killing machine when I'm doing these fight scenes.

It's really exciting.

It's so are you allowed to talk about the promise?

No, I can't see okay totally, but we you go and you film tomorrow.

Yeah, and I have abs right now?

Oh my Yeah.

You say that like I feel like you want to show us.

Is that true?

I promise Harrison could see them first.

Yes, that's fair. Please give him my regards. Jason Siegel at Roule.

Today TV.

We're gonna take a quick break. We'll be right back up then.

That for tonight, But.

Before we go.

The Daily Show's official indecision twenty twenty four, merch just dropped. Proceeds will benefit Headcount, a nonpartisan, nonprofit organization that promotes voter registration. If you want to support Headcount and look great on election day, scan the QR code or head to the link below. Now Here it is your moment of zen.

I have gone through the roof with black men. Black men, I don't do quite as well with black women. I must say, I don't know why, hie, but I'm sure that'll work out too.

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