Nikki Haley Drops Out As Race Between Biden and Trump Takes Shape | Chelsea Peretti

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Welcome to the Daily Show. I'm Roy Shang. We've got a great show for you tonight. We'll talk about Nikki Haley updating her LinkedIn profile. We've got a new contender for craziest Republican. And you won't believe who the two presidential nominees are gonna be. So let's get right into our ongoing coverage of Indecision twenty twenty four. That's again at the Big News. Yesterday was Super Tuesday, the most

President Biden and former President Trump dominate the vote.

Sweeping nearly all their primaries and clearing the path for a November rematch.

The Baby Booma death grip continues, Does anyone else have a chance to break through?

An NBC News election alerd and report, And this is good news for Nikki Haley. NBC News can project that she has won the state of ver monitor first victory of the night.

Yes, Ma, yeah, Nikki won. The Subaru owner who makes their own honey voting block. You can build on that, Nikki Haley twenty twenty four.

Baby breaking news this morning, Nicki Haley dropping out of the twenty twenty four presidential race, leaving Donald Trump the last man standing in the race.

Nah, don't quit now, Nikki. You are only eighty thousand delegates behind. If you drop out, who are little girls without any principles, convictions or charisma look up to? Actually, you know what, hang on, I need to talk to Nikki for a second. Nikki, I honestly, I'm sorry. I have no idea why everyone, including myself, is being so

In Minnesota, nearly twenty percent of Democrats voting uncommitted instead of voting for Biden, a significant protest vote fueled by concerns about his age and support over Israel.

Joe Biden lost American Samoa to a little known candidate named Jason Palmer, fifty one votes to forty.

Hell yeah, Jason Palmer? Looking go hello? Quick question? Quick question, though, who the fuck is Jason Palmer. I've never seen this blow up Matt Damon in my life, Sonny. He wins American Samoa. I mean, this must be a fascinating guy. For interesting background, tell me more.

Palmer's biography holds him up as a political out. He called himself an education and tech entrepreneur.

Okay, pass pass, hot pass. I don't need another generic white guy tech entrepreneur. Okay, no thanks, I can't believe this is who sid from toy Story became. But as boring as this dude was, if you watch his campaign video, you'll see that he had one thing going for him. Correct pronunciation, tallo falava.

I'm Jason Palmer, American Samoa.

I'm asking for your vote in the Democratic Caucus on March fifth.

Yeah, American Samoa. I also can pronounce it correctly, just like when I visited Chile and Buffalona, where I ate a croissant. That's how underrepresentive Pacific Islanders are. If you can say that name correctly, you'll sweep the vote. But still, how can you be so popular in American Samoa when no one knows him here in the mainland.

You're probably wondering, who is this Jason Palmer.

I've never heard of him before. Well, in the mainland, I'm actually very well known.

Wow, I actually respect that this dude is going down there like, Hey, I'm the most famous man in America. You guys don't have the internet, right. Here's what I think really happened. American Samoa got together and voted for this guy as a pr move because they need it. America doesn't give them citizenship of votes. Most Americans don't even know that American Samoa is part of America, even though it's in the name. So you just let this random guy win the primary, and all of a sudden

Mood over there, Ronnie.

I've been walking up and down this speech all day, and let me tell you, the mood is great. People are smiling, the sand is soft, I can see whales.

I'm falling in love with politics all over again.

You know that's great insight for more Minnesotas. I'm committed vote. Let's go to Michael Costa and Duluth. Michael, what are you seeing on the ground there? What am I seeing?

I'm seeing Grace in an island paradise while Michael Costa is stuck in a Duluth parking lot. According to an exit poll I conducted with myself. These results can suck. Why did Grace get to go to American Samoa?

Sorry, where's American Samoa? I'm in American Samoa.

Yeah, Michael, maybe if you had some cultural sensitivity, you could be there too, Grace. What a vote is saying about what they want from the Democratic Party.

A lot, Ronnie. I've talked to a bunch of voters, one of them is a very cute instructor. And later I'm going surfing with one of the Rocks cousins.

Right, great, and Michael, have you talked to any of the rocks cousins. They're not here, dude, Nobody cool is here? All right?

It's just me and Princess Leah ear muffs, trying not to freeze to death. Meanwhile Grace is having the time of her life on a sunny beach. I hate democracy. This sucks.

Ouch, Michael.

I'll have you know it's not always perfect. Here. It rained this morning, that it made over the mountains. It was just so beautiful.

I'm not usually spiritual, but like I got it, you know.

Yeah, that's amazing, Grace. It sounds like you need to stay there a bit longer. We'll set you up. Michael, Hey, you stay out there too. What No, I want to come home, Ronnie, No, no, no, we can't afford to fly you home if we're gonna pay for Grace to stay out there.

What Yeah, Michael, have some respect.

I'm reporting. Excuse me?

Could I get another complimentary my tie?

I'm very well known on the mainland.

Where's school? It's when Michael calls everybody? When when you come back, we'll find out what the next mornin Luther King Junior. So don't go away, Welcome back to the Daily Show. Super Tuesday wasn't all about picking which Facebook grand podcast to control the nukes. They are also primaries for other officers, and one of the most important ones was in North Carolina.

The North Carolina race for the governor's mansion is going to be among the most competitive, and now CNN is projecting that the Republican candidate in that is going to be Lieutenant Governor Mark Robinson, a favorite among evangelicals, becoming the first black gubernatorial nominee in North Carolina.

Those who want to go into the mud feel free.

Where we're going is we're going towards.

The substantive issues in all North Carolinia's face.

Wow, pretty cool. This guy could be the first black governor in North Carolina history. And it's nice that finally some serious candidates in the Republican Party who are really focused on the issues. So what are these issues?

Ain't but two genders, ain't nothing but men and women.

He says, God called on mentally, not women.

Called to be led by men when it was time to face down the life shit David, not de vita David. There's no reason anybody anywhere in America should be telling it in time about ten genderism.

Homosexuality, any of that.

Phil And yes I called it, Phil.

We could pass a bill and say you can't have an emotion in North Carolina for any reason.

He says the civil rights movement in the nineteen sixties was quote crap, and that Martin Luther King.

Was a communist.

Robinson posted the movie Black Panther was quote created by an agnostic Jew to pull the shekels out of your schwartz to pockets, using the Yiddish words for money and black.

He referred to the victims of the Parkland School shooting as spoiled little bastards.

He says the.

Moon landing in nineteen sixty nine may have been fake. He also says there is a secret ruling Camal that is part reptile.

And said that Beyonce is Satanic.

Wow, this guy hates everybody, gay people, Jewish people, women, school shooting survivors, Beyonce. I mean, this guy is so in a hating people. He even hates MLK. I know what divide the country, but I thought the one thing we could all agree on was MLK good. And by the way, you can't just hate everyone and leave all the Asians. Okay, that's racist, I will give him. Though you don't usually hear an anti semi busting out Yiddish. It's a very woke form of hatred. So this guy's

He's been an unbelievable Lieutenant Governor Mark Robinson. This is Martin Luther King on steroids. Okay, now, I told that.

I told that.

I told that to Mark.

I said, I think you're better than Martin Luther King. I think you are Martin Luther King times two.

Wait, MLKA times two. Someone checked the math on that this guy doesn't even like MLK. I think Trump just brings all black people on a scale of how MLK they are. I had a great golf caddy. I gave him one point five mlks and MLK on steroids. I kind of wish MLK was on steroids. Actually, that that really would have sped up the civil rights movement. You know, I had a dream I was gonna beat your ass. Okay, okay,

Love you, the people have spoken.

You're very You're very beloved.

This is your vibrate Yeah, weird question. I think I saw an ad on Instagram for this.

Yeah, we tried to keep all guests happy. Projects. First time female director, yes, film, it's also you. Also you're also a first time female director.

This is going good? Can I get the regular host? We said we want to each other look.

At yeah, you know, look at us going at each other now. But something director you had a really Larry David could be enthusiasm, but my style very handmade? Was that intentional? Is that lack of budget?

I'm trying to spur him to come after me because I'm a big fan.

Of running is I just want to say that I really.

Am, you know, I am a huge No, we never met, but you are very nice to me over the pandemic idea over over Instagram. And I was a huge fan of yours, watching your comedy specials. And I love your music album that you released a pandemic. It was about coffee.

Yeah, it was a coffee concept album, one of those.

Yeah wow you did during the pandemic pandemic problems.

It was pre pandemic, and then when the COVID happened, I was like, why did I spend the last eight months of my life making music about coffee?

What a waste?

No, No, it was a funny album. I love music. And but you got a film right now. And what's interesting to me many things is that, I mean you, but you'll stand up comic. Yeah, you're starting these comedy clubs and all that right.

Here in these city streets, right here on the streets.

Man, when you do comedy, you're in, especially when you're starting out, you're in a bar full of like drunk people if you're lucky, sometimes above empty, if you're lucky.

Usually there's a bar full of drunk men.

Yeah. And then and then then you moved into directing a movie. You know, how you get the that that skill set must be.

It really took was decades.

So if you have decades to spare, you too might be able to do that.

I know.

But I wrote for TV, I wrote for Parks and rec and Amy produced this movie.

So don't just say Amy like Amy, Yeah, I know you're on first name.

Basis, but it would be weird if I always called her Amy Poe.

This and is that is she the one who kind of like champions is? Yeah? Right, So I mean, how did how did this project come about? Because it's very meta. I don't want to like misdescribe. It's very meta kind of your first first time director directing a play in the movie the in real life, your first time female director directing the movie.

I mean I was, what, that's pretty accurate, all right, Yeah, that was a good description.

But what what was the you know, inspiration for this?

The inspiration well, I challenged myself to write a fake excerpt of a play at UCB Theater in Los Angeles, which was a southern rural drama and it was a fun night.

It was very silly.

We did a really pretentious Q and A afterwards, and and then I was like, could I make this into a movie? And so that's kind of the origin story, if.

You will, right, And that's that's how you started. And you know, people who don't know making movies is very hot. I mean, forget the making it, just trying to get it up and going.

I tried to get Ronnie I actually tried to get him for my movie and I was told he's offer only that That's when an actor thinks they're too good audition. So I was like, whoa, whoa, this one hurts, this one hurts.

Yeah, but I am a phone you are, yeah you are. So why didn't you make offer? How did you get Why didn't you make an offer?

Well?

I was waiting, was good follow up question? Make the offer? I'm offul only make the off too late? Actually technical, you can reshoot. You can do reshoots, yeah, you can.

What I want to offer you is the lead.

Yeah, well yeah, I'll take the lead.

Yeah, we'll redo it. This is good.

Okay, but so it's uh, and you debuted it last year.

I debuted it, and.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry that make a minor grammatical mistake. Well my three languages, I'm sorry.

Did you white feminist? I don't really care.

Well, I'm a minority in America, so I don't know who. I don't know who wins here if we keep going at it, I think white people, white men wait, no, white men wait. If we keep fighting, white men are going to win. So we gotta you gotta.

Get on board this shot.

We gotta get on board. Let's kind of boring from at the movies. Yeah, so you yeah, when do you debut.

It Friday, Friday, March eight.

Yeah, but you got into the festival, got into Tribeca. Yeah, which is hot. It's hot to get in Tribeca.

The Karents just.

Walk into DRYBECA has to be a good movie, no you can't.

Yeah, this is a hot crowd.

This crowd is hot and yeah, yeah, yeah hot, a little old and uh yeah, a little bit, a little bit. I appreciate it, but let's call it, you know, and they've been waiting on in the New York range so that I really appreciate them waiting all that. That's a compliment. Thanks for being so old and waiting out. Yeah, and they love you.

You're sweet street with them a tender rapport.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So Tribeca was great, That's what I know. You're understanding it. But it's hot to it's hot to get into the Tribeca Film Festival.

I got a fake tan for it. Yeah, very classy.

And then now it's a premiering.

On March eighth.

Yeah, so I'm excited and I hope people enjoy it.

Yeah.

Yeah, that's awesome. What was the most challenging thing you had on this on this project?

Not not being able to get you in there.

I really was no asking me was the biggest challenge.

Yeah.

I love how you you named it first time female directors. Like if anybody gives a bad review, is that like, like that just sexist? Right? Yeah, it's automatic trap. Right.

That's what I'm always trying to set up is some sort of infrastructure like that. But it is weird, like any title you think of, you think of the snooty reviews where they say like something like, you know, they always use the title to slam the movie. Yeah, first time female director, right, I don't know, maybe it's harder.

Yeah yeah, well yeah, well there's no reason to slam the movie because I watched it. It was great. Thank great job by super funny, very original.

Thanks. Just scanning your eyes to see if you're telling Yeah I am.

It was great.

It's a weird time because it's like everyone being like, oh, I love the movie. I'm like this, Yeah, you see this.

Is the com That's how I know you're a comic. Yeah, because comics can't take compliments. Trust, you can't take that, you can't tell tell me a nice thing about myself.

I love you.

I don't believe that. I don't believe that well, you.

Know what's funny is my dad loves you too. And he was like, we're at dinner and he goes, I love this comedian. He's emotionless. And the weirdest thing is, I go, is it this guy? And I pulled up a picture of you. I'm like, do you mean Rachel? Because that was the.

Joke, but I guess I didn't hit No.

I appreciate your dad knowing me as emotional. That's not the Asian guy. That's great, Great, mister Parreti, thanks so much. Yeah, well, Chelsea, thanks so much for be on the show man. I can't wait. This thing is coming out Roku Channel Match eighth, please take it. Give you a watch. Chelsea Paradi. Everybody, she's awesome. Well then let's take a quick break, but we'll be right back off of it. Right, that's us over tonight now here.

It is your.

Moment of that, but we have this is a room chalk full of incredible talented people, like some of the guys standing right in front of me. Right, big big futures, big fat, beautiful futures. Oh, I'd love to be your age. I'd tell you a lot of money to be your age.

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