Nachos vs. Chili Cheese Fries | Hold Up with Dulcé Sloan & Josh Johnson

considers themselves a natural connoisseur. Tune in to find out If you like the show, check out the hold Up podcast wherever you get your podcasts. What I'm talking about my nachos, I'm talking about that good white case. Okay, the good white that good comptation. You said that like fuck new Hey, everybody, welcome to Hold Up. This is the show that's a lot about a little big opinions over small things, a lot of stress over things that people don't really care about. I am one of your

co hosts. My name is Josh Johnson. I'm a ride for the Daily Show. When I am joined by, today's episode is gonna be one that I didn't even know that. Uh, we disagreed on so heavily. It was wild because we were trying to talk about something completely different and yet and it came out. We found out that once again, once again, josh Johnson, Joshua Solomon Johnson, you can't just keep making up real names like this. Why not? Because it just doesn't It's not even who I am. You

could be talking about a different person. Today's episode is gonna be nachos versus chili, cheese fries. Get into it, look a look out. I just had a very stress that. My last hour of life has been very stressful. I'm sorry. That was just me. Thank you so much. So tell me how you feel about nachos. Tell me why you chose nachos today. I chose nachos because one, they're more fucking delicious. Okay, all right, this is the thing I love about nachos. I like variety. Okay, I like Variot's hey.

I like that you can put out of what's gonna you're gonna say it twice and the like it's two different things. Okay, alright, cool, cool, cool, cool, Hey man, I'm living my life. I'm trying to be a question and so I love the fact that you can have all kinds of nachos because you know, your movie theater nachos. They're the saltiest nachos you'll ever in your life because it's those yellow studio chips, my studio stadium chips that

are so salty you can feel the greens of salt. Yeah. Yeah, you can get them between your teeth, get them between your tea. Truly, you can just rub them and season other things. There's that there's that cheese sauce, which oh yeah, yeah that The movie One is nasty, it's wild, The movie One is unacceptable, and you know it's crazy. My mom went and we got some movie there and they were like, it's like, oh, it's Arizona nachos. And I

was like wait. I was in the Dollar Try with her, and I was like, why is Arizona Tea making nacho kids? I thought, with the Arizoni Okay, yeah, yeah, sure, sure, have a green tea Arizoni's come on, okay, and then you get your little pickle opinions or whatever or or my favorite thing dudes. And I go back to Atlanta, just this place called Willie's that I go to with my mama and my brother, and it has a whole like because the Chipotle. That's why what Chipotle? Because like

the secret is on a Chipotle. And somebody I just saw on TikTok somebody just found out that they could make nachos at at Chipotle. It was like, yeah, he just asked them to replace the rice with chips. When I was a suddenly got fucking nacho's m genus. Right, So, but I love Nacho's because of the variety, you know, Okay,

first of all, if the caso the cheese. Also, I think it's funny that we call the cheese sauce caeso when it's just when it's just cheese, it's just that's just Spanish cheese, right, Yeah, I want to hear the rest of your thing. I'm not gonna mention the cheese yet. I want to hear your thing because I was about to interrupt. I'm trying to stop myself. No, no, no

interrupt the Okay, the cheese. I I'm gonna try to be as objective as possible in this argument because sometimes the cheese from the movie the or nachos is also the same type of cheese that ends up on chili cheese fries. So I can't fully come down on you for the cheese on those nachos, because I know that it happens to me too. So I'm trying to I'm trying to show grace and trying to assume that you're talking about the best type of nachos and I'm talking

about the best type of chili cheese fries. Yes, we're talking about no bottom basement when you're talking about tachos. Yeah, the nacho cheese that is at a baseball game is actually so American because of the problems it gives you. All Right, we're talking constipation, we're talking cardiovascular issues, all right. You can feel them when you're eating. You can feel yourself slowing down. You can feel your blood slow down. And that is the wildest part. When I'm talking about

my nachos, I'm talking about that good white caso. Okay, why what for good white case, that good comcation. You said that like Fox News, that good Christian, white white casey Protestant case, that good white Protestant. Old, honey, that's the case. I remember that that. Yes, that that's the case. I always tell you about where you have to have it with a margarita. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah you did. That's what I'm telling you about case. You need the margarita to bust up all that cheese. Yeah, but you

need the cheese to counteract the acidity of the margarita. Yeah, yea. Or or you couldn't leave your mouth alone, like like I'm just I'm just saying, it's like, it's not this much counteracting. It's Wednesday night. What he supposed to be what you're acting like Wednesday meets. It's Wednesday Day night

of course, about with my girlfriends. Get in case though, and margaritas after we just came from this fucking mary Hey purse slegging, tupleware bullshit than yeah, okay, all right, all right, listen, listen, all of us got an suv Okay, why who knows? Okay, so nachos, so so nachos, keep going. The toppings. Combinations are endless. Okay, you can do the meets, you could do no meets. You can see what a guy. I saw a guy do that made my vagina, my vagina slamshit. And he just got nachos. Who just he

just wanted cheese and grilled chicken. That this is this is the type of thing that I've started to judge people on, and I've I've even talked about this on stage, where it's like, we have to quit waiting until the serial killers kill to call them serial killers. Yes, all right, there are some things that people are gonna do that it's so off and upsetting that you're like, no, no, no, watch him, okay, right, because the fact that you are

not in the second grade. It's like when I eat meat adults who only eat cheese pizza Yeah, yeah, yeah, cheese, pizza's kid fruit. Yeah. I don't give a fuck. How many comments you put underneath this YouTube video. Guess what. I'm not gonna read them. It's not my job. Also, grow to fuck up put something else on a pizza. I'm sorry, this is wild. I think there was a guy I went to eyehop with Logan one time. We

were just on the road doing the show. Had a guy a table a table away from us ordered his bacon. What extra moist? He said? Extra moist is? I think he just wanted them to run it under the falset. I guess I have no idea what that means, but it was. Yeah, it was so upsetting that we were like, all right, so police please. Like as much as we call the cops off, people in mind their own business. That's something that I wish I would have called nine one one about. Like that. Is he saying that he

didn't want them? Is he saying that he didn't want them to get the oil off of it? I think that he wants bacon cooked as little as possible because he said extra this Nika just isn't extra moist, is what he said, which means to have that order already means you've done that before. Wait hard, I'm trying to protect myself from this conversation because now I'm scared. Yeah, yeah, I worried about everybody involved. And I know it's not the same. I know it's not the same as the

cheese and the chicken. It is it is, it is, it is. Okay, it's not a still serial killery m. But there's a level of juvenilosity. Here's the thing. Okay, if you're if you're gonna cloak yourself to protect yourself, you got to only use real words sustained. So, oh my god, this reminds me this guy is to work with. I can't remember which job it was. This nigga's talking about some woman he thought it he liked. I'm like, well, He's like, yeah, you know, I really liked her feminosity.

And I was like, I don't want I can't yep, no, yeah, no, yeah, no, blessings to him. I said femininity. He said, what's that? He was like, no, no, she had a lot of it. Yeah, she said, yeah, you know, she got that feminosity. And I was like, I gotta go, I said, can I call out of work? I'm already here, but I gotta go home. Now. I'm with you. I'm with you. It is. It is maddening, but I guarantee you he will pull Oh. I think he already had a kid. Uh. Hey man,

everybody know dumb dudes got great dick. I don't know why they have to be dumb, Like that's some people just half the penis. No. What I'm saying is, but they're not like dumb dudes. Broke dudes, country ass dudes. Okay, so yeah, if you're a city motherfucker with some money, he would extemparate game up. If you read books. I was sit there with one of my friends at the cellar the other day we saw this. He was there was this guy who was talking to you know, some

other comics or whatever. We didn't know who he was. And this is a male, a man. The black man saw this other man from across the room and was like, Yo, that dude looks dumb. Because when a man walked by, originally I was like, who the fuck is? Because he made my ovaries move? So's who the fuck is this big motherfucker right, nice, big strapping man. He's like, Yo, that dude looks dumb. And I was like, Ah, don't

do that. You sound like a hater. And I looked up and I was like, Yo, this nigga does look dumb. And so I was like, no, it's I went over and talk to you know, other people, and Megan's talking to him. For a second, I was like, damn, that nigga was right. It dude is dumb, which means his dick's gonna be amazing. And he's so dumb. He's one of those people where every time he had a thought.

I saw it like you know the cartoon when you just see the little and just the wheel turning, like just see like the animated little I saw it when it turned as I want it stopped yet an idea a little, and then the work we're back on. Every time he had an idea, I saw it every time, and I bet you what that man loved it was chila cheese fries. How dare you? How very dare me? I was. I was truly trying to extend an olive branch, and you burned it. You burned it in my baby,

I pulled the olives. I pulled the olives off the branch and put them on my nachos. That's what I did. I took the olives put them on my nachos. Because I will tell you this, nachos with caeso are so much better than nachos with melted shredded cheese because once the temp once that shredded cheese ain't hot normal uh huh yeah yeah, it had just spackled my nachos to this play. Sure it's concrete. We could pay rolls with milt.

It's you're I'm coming's pieces right. Yeah. So I also love the fact that you can put veggies on it, or vegis on it. You can put all kinds of meats. You're right, seafood natros. I have had seafood natros. Fucking amazing, right, Yeah, if you get if you get the right shrimp, it's it's like, really really good. I guess my thing is for chili cheese fries. What I'm making sure that you and the other listeners don't miss is that just because chili and cheese are in the name, it doesn't mean

that's where you have to stop. I'm not saying that there is many topics for chili cheese frieses are our nachos, because I don't think that there are. I'm just saying that people hear chili cheese fries and they could incorrectly or correctly assume that only chili and cheese will be on those fries. But I believe if you get the right fried all right, if you get the right temperature, and if you fry it to perfection, it is incredibly

difficult for a nacho to beat a fry. Okay, Because when you get chili and you get cheese, and you get the right meat, whether it is beef or it is turkey or it is ground chicken, if that is your preference, what you too, no matter what you do, and no matter how you brown it, when you throw it in the chili, Because don't forget what the chili cheese lax in toppings it makes up for in the seas, what kind of chili and when we're talking about because this is the thing, okay, we got to talk about

when it comes to the chili cheese fry, Okay, I can tell you. Let me ask you, Okay, is the fry important or can you use any kind of fry? Now? There's there's when you want to talk about schools and you want to talk about thought, there are schools of thought? All I did not see that. Do you want to talk about schools? What we'll talk about thoughts? What are we talking about? Schools of thoughts? Or Wow, that would be a good name for an album if you think

about it. Schools of thoughts? Yeah, a waffle fry, well a wa waffle fried chili cheese fries. Yeah, waffle fried chili cheese fries. Yeah, we don't do it enough. We knowledly do we not do it enough? We don't appreciate how much you catch. Because I will say this, when it comes to a chili cheese fry versus a nacho. The only way that the chili cheese fry can compete with the nacho in terms of how much you grab and get when you pull is if it's a waff

of fry, right, because you can put chili. We've all put chili and made nachos. We'll put chili on on tortia chips have been like Nacho's beach. Right, you've all seen the walking nachos. Have you seen? Yo? I'm gonna tell you the wildest I've been. I've been in loving e nachos my whole life, right, I'm in love with

the nacho. One thing I can never get behind, and it might sound crazy, is when people use deritos as the chips in the chip in the nacho's only because like you remember when chi when like the nacho cheese doritos the season, he used to be heavy like not now we's just just a whisper, just the afterthought, just a shadow of flavor. But when him chips used to

be arnged right where the chips was orange. Okay, when you was getting the orange or your fingers, like you would just eat the whole bag and cheet toes right, Using a dorito as a tortilla chips okay in nacho's Okay, totally destroys the whole flavor of your nachos. It also lets me know that you were an agent of chaos. See I would say something else, but that's a better way to put that. Yea, yeah, because they were there.

There are two people in my life who I saw do it, and one of them is in jail, and the other one might need to be in jail. Say say say this is this is your moist baker. Yeah, yeah, that's your moist baker. Because the wiffle go ahead. You know, no, sorry, sorry, it's just you know that you're not actually about flavor when you do that. You're just about doing stuff to do it. You're about eating. Yeah, yeah, you're about eating. And it just sounds you're not. You're not You're not

doing I'm waiting for you. You won't. You're too nice to say it, but you want to say it so bad you're not gonna do it. Sounds poor. You can't. Thank you a lot to say it, Thank you so much. And I didn't say it. I didn't say it. You did said it. You said it. I said it because I could see that you needed the release. But you were like the way that you were like and a dorito and like the way you were listing it, I felt like a soda that had got put to paint shaker.

Now listen, I know there's a lot of people that might have an issue with me saying that things are poor. I'm also somebody who has mixed in college because I have a lot of white friends. I've had a Yager mixed with mountain dew. Okay, yeah, yeah, I've slept in mini a mobile home. Wasn't mine, but I was friends with him. We all have a past I really wonder why, because why'd you pick chili cheese fries over the nacho?

Do you not, like, I mean, do you? I think that if you get it right, there's a higher pinnacle for a chili cheese nacho than even a nacho. All right, If we're talking a perfectly fried waffle fried and then chili and cheese, and we're talking about cheese, that is what kind of cheese? What kind of cheese? What kind

of cheese? Because for me, there's a few if you if you go about melting it right, and to me, the best chili cheese is going to actually be in the same form as those stadium fries and those stadium nachos, but not the same type of cheese. So when I when I talk about melted cheese, I don't just mean throwing a couple of craft singles on, throwing it in

the microwave. To me, that is blasphemy. What I'm talking about is in a pot, melting down, making your own cheese sauce at home, right, melting it down and then pouring it over. Okay, okay because to me now even as it cools. Because the other issue with some nachos like you, like you mentioned before with the cement and some chili cheese fries is the quickness that you have to have to eat it. Yes, when when it gets cold,

it's done. And so because there's a there's a third element in there, I recognize that a chili cheese fry is going to need more of your time and attention than a nacho because chili cheese, for you gotta worry about the chili being cold, You gotta worry about the cheese being cold. You gotta worry about the fry being cold, the fried being called bro Yeah, it's ready to fight if I if I get served chili cheese fries, I like, I'm not the type of person to like wow out

at a restaurant or anything. But if it if it comes and it is cold, I do get a little upset because I'm like, all right, clearly the chili and the cheese are too hot for me to send this back like it's cold. So I'm gonna go ahead and fight through. But you know what you did to me. Also, also, I've had chili cheese fries. My mom made it for me one time, and she didn't do it often, which I'm thankful for because it actually can't be that healthy. But my mom made me chili cheese fries from scratch,

and that labor of love I will never forget. Okay, because she made the chili, She made the chili, and making the chili making, that's what I was saying before. Okay, we lose you on some toppings when it comes to nacho's Nacho's edge out on the toppings. I'm objective enough to respect that. But the seasoning, Okay, the way that you can season chili to then put over the fries is it's tough to beat. I've had very dry nachos before and it just make me just so, it makes

you go, It makes you live. It. Honestly, it makes you go, yeah, I'm a good person. What the fuck been over here? And I think that the other reason that chili cheese fries for me edge out the nato is because when you are eating them right, m and you and they've got it right, whether whether it's a loved one that's made it for you or whether you're just at the right stadium, they got it right. Okay.

I think that there's a bit more heft to the meal when it is a chili cheese fry than when it's a nacho because right there, yeah, stop right there, okay. As someone who is a nachokonda soul, Okay, yeah, nachos can be heavy. Because I used to work across there was a taco place across my across you from us running la. So I would go to to the point where them girls had my phone number and if they

didn't see me for a while. Honestly, one girl I just had to stop h once she found out I did con and she was blown me up all the time. I was like, bitchween't even we're friends like this being weird. And so they would do nachos where it was like it was Terreso, fucking plant, Hans Rights and all his other ship. And you know how much they like you because every time I will go to box kept getting heavier. Yeah. So it was like this one thing in nachos was

like three meals at least. Okay, okay, and then one day they maybe like I came in there and they're like, oh, we're doing breakfast nachos and I was like best sounds h m hm, fucking running let's see, because I had I had to know. I had a know, and it was and it was. It was as good it was supposed to be. But I do have a hard time.

I have a hard time finding nachos up here. I can't say the chips and nachos are just as important as as the potatoes and chili trees tries, because one I've had, I haven't been in nachos before, and not only were chips salty, but the chips very wide, yes, yes, And so it was catching the corners on my mouth m hm and cutting you with the salt and cutting

me with the salt. Yeah. Also you've regarding to like chilis and how thin their tortilla chips are snapping and just about that right, what years ago, I had to Dawn, I'll tell you about this. I didn't stand up about the I was on that date. This is like, I don't even think I lived in New York, kid, Yeah,

tell people. And I was just I was trying. I had ordered guacamole, and their idea of guacamole was just stabbing an avocado twice because it was the thickest guacamole and the thinnest chips I've ever paper chips, And so every I'm trying to talk to her about her life and interests and stuff, and I'm just snapping chips, left, snapping, And so finally I put two hands on one chip to get more leverage, because after the fifth one, it's noticeable,

right because I'm just snapping them and then trying to move on like okay, that's interesting, and then just snapping more of them. Right, last one I put two in. Yeah, and I don't even dig that deep. I'm not trying to shovel the chip. I'm just trying to get something and bring something back from me, right, And on the last chip, two hands, I stick at it and I just I just like a folk for them, just pop it back up and stay even staying on a chip, the guac flies all over her, like just flicks all

over her. It gets on her. And I was like, I'm I'm fun like, this shouldn't be happening to me. This isn't fair. I'm a good person. Yeah, bad bar. Well, how do you feel about the totito scoops? I don't feel like it's natural, but I do feel like it's helpful depending on what the dip is. Yes, yeah, but we all know that you can't use them as nachos. No, you can't. You can. It feels like nacho cupcakes when you do that. Who told me they trying to use as I think my ex was telling me a story.

Those are golden chips that he had and he would it nachos. You really have to go ahead, and if you're gonna do that, you have to do each individual way, to do each engine, and you have to pour a little bit of kay. So you have to put a it'll bit of meat, a couple of onions, one little piece of halapeno. I think that that's a great like snack for weddings or for like like when people are walking around, be like be like hold your own nacho you know what I mean? That to me makes sense.

But to just put a bag of them on a plate and then just start pouring cheese and you're asking for chaos. That's what he did. That's what he did. But we're not together now. Hey, yeah, you might as well be biting the side of a paper cup. It does not make sense, but like sideways, like not even at the time, but like like that, that's what you meant,

right a corn yeah? Um? And so my thing is when you know what to expect and you're getting the same thing when it comes to the to the levels of m consistency when you're biting when with chili, cheese, rice, Because what happens to nacho sometimes is that the nachos that are in the very middle, at the very bottom sometimes get left completely dry. Above those get too wet soggy,

and the ones that the edges are perfect. See, And that's why people have to learn if you're gonna do a big thing of nachos, right, because I hate going to places where you're just like, you do a big thing of nachos, but since all the toppings are on top, it looks like a lot. Yeah, I want it somewhere think it's a taco mac in the landa way they used to do it. Is they able to do a Lara chips, Lara meet and cheese, Lara chips, Lara meat cheese, Lara chips, meat and cheese. Let us sire cream and

all of the rest of the top hangs. Yes, yes, go on the very top exactly exactly. And that is a professional. That's somebody that cares about people. I think now it's time to kick it over to the listener. Let us know what you think. Tell us all right, are you team chili cheese fries or are you team Nacho show? Nacho Chili cheese fries are superior. You're a liar for the devil. Listen. No matter how many calls

you do to the nacho's, it's not gonna help. Hey, listen, It's like, yeah, I think that the nacho is something that is easily accessible for the children, you know, for the kidies. That could be a good because it's like chili cheese fries. You gotta get chili. Okay. The first thing you said you love about nachos was the variety, and now you're gonna be like with chili cheese like,

you gotta get chili. You don't. You don't always have chili, right, I'm with you, Yes, but nachos could just be cheese and chips, or cheese and chips and salca. If you hate your life, yes, but if you or if you're seven, if you're seven. Unfortunately, some people who are thirty seven also enjoy those as nachos, and I never want those people to see my boots before I get more upset.

We're gonna kick it to the listeners because you know me and Josh, we bring it to you every episode, and um, I think one we were very cordial in this one too. We know we were really supporting each other's points. Even though you came in how at the beginning and very aggressive. You look strong and then you're like, yeah, because if he's friends, yeah, we're live forever. Um, it's uh, listen, man, I'm in my skin, this dress. I'm unstoppable. I give

girl to ask you so much of my money. I put one of the kids at least with it, one of them kids getting booked from me. I promise you somebody out of uniform in my black ass. I'm telling you right now, Chicago's pink carpet birthday. I'm trying. I'm sure a couple of square feet are on your girl. If you are looking to catch up with me, you can find me at my other podcasts of Josh Shahnson Show.

Episodes come out every Thursday where we have your podcast, And if you are looking to catch up with Duel Say, you can find her in the streets. I'm kidding, Um, I'm also on the internet. I'm also on this podcast that you're currently listening to, and I have a lot to site if there's some fun there, I got shows covered up if you want to hear about. Okay, y'all, y'all have a great rest of the week into the weekend.

Now Joel explore more shows from the Daily Show podcast universe by searching The Daily Show wherever you get your podcasts. Watch The Daily Show weeknights at eleven tenth Central on Comedy Central and stream full episodes anytime on Fairmount Plus. This has been a Comedy Central podcast.