Michigan Dems Protest Vote & SCOTUS Tackles Bump Stock Ban | Sloane Crosley

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From the most trusted journalists at Comedy Central's America's only source for news. This's The Daily Show with your host Michael Costa.

Welcome to the Daily Show. I'm Michael Costa. We have a great show for you tonight. We're gonna talk about Michigan's commitment issues. The Supreme Court debates how much gun is too much gun, and the worst thing to happen to Willie Wonka since Johnny Depp. So let's get into

The Supreme Court is hearing arguments on bump stocks, the attachments functionally turned semi automatic rifles into automatic weapons. Donald Trump banned them in twenty seventeen after the massacre at a Las Vegas music festival, where a shooter aiming from a hotel room fired eleven hundred rounds in just eleven minutes.

Everyone agrees that machine guns can be banned, and the arguments here hinge in part on the very technical issue of exactly how bumpstocks work and whether their mechanism fits the definition.

Of a machine gun under the law.

The justices really grappled with that today, and what we heard was broad agreement that preventing guns from firing hundreds of rounds per minute made a lot of sense, but there was disagreement about whether the ban was justified by that machine gun.

Law hold on. The Supreme Court is trying to decide if that gun is a machine gun. I'm not a machine gun expert, but if a gun makes you go, that's a machine gun. The Court spent all day thrown around very technical questions about trigger functions versus trigger polls to determine what a machine gun is. But I'd like to suggest we approach this case with my new legal theory.

No?

Then it's not a person. I've seen sourdough starters more alive than that. But no, but no, the conservatives are saying it's not about how it looks. There's a very specific trigger mechanism. Blah blah blah. They have the same approach to guns that snobby liberals do to wine. Unless it comes from the machine gun region of France, it's only a sparkling rifle. Look. I don't even blame gun nuts. I blame the forefathers. They should have been clearer. The

Now A furious parents in Scotland who thought they had scored a golden ticket to an amazing Willy Wonka experience, but instead wound up with something closer to the fire Festival.

A new event in Glasgow Willie's Chocolate Experience, AI generated images promising a whimsical day for kids with an enchanting garden, live performances and character appearances including Oopa Lumpus, all for about forty five bucks. Instead, a near empty warehouse, a bouncy castle with wooden tables set up, some jankie props of candy, reports of kids crying.

You paid money down minutes, there's children here.

Actor who played Willy Wonka and described the event as a police where dreams went to die.

I hate to say it, but if you're an actor who's playing Willy Wonka in a warehouse, your dream's probably already died a while ago. Look, I don't know why everyone is so upset that the kids were traumatized. Have you seen the movie Traumatizing Kids is the authentic Wonka experience. They should just be thankful they didn't have to get rolled out. Oh I'm sorry you had to drink a plastic cup of lemonade. Violet Beauregard has to buy three airplane seats from now on. People are comparing this thing

So I.

Finally, let's move on to the political news in our ongoing coverage of Indecision twenty twenty four. Yesterday, my home state of Michigan held primary elections, but the big story was who Democrats didn't vote for.

This morning, President Biden and former President Trump coming off huge wins in Michigan. But it's these voters who shook up the Democratic primary.

If he doesn't get it together and change what he's doing, we will vote for him.

In November, overnight, an extremely unusual watch party for voters who cast their ballots not for a candidate but for uncommitted in protest of President Biden's handling of the Israel Hamas war. The efforts organizers had set their goal at ten thousand votes. They got more than ten times that.

Wow, one hundred thousand people went outside in Michigan in February to say they don't like you. That is a lot of commitment to uncommitment. Reminds me of my single years. How anyways, that's horrible what's happening in the Middle East and ceasefire supporters are sending Joe Biden a strong message that if he doesn't push for an end to the war, they won't vote for him. And I'm glad. I'm glad they're making their voices heard. This is how you get

You know.

He's got kids in the sewer. That's a rat. It's a red flag sis. For more on the Michigan primary, let's go live to the state Capitol with our own Jordan Klepper. Jordan, Jordan, what's your take? What's your take here?

Well, Michael, I can speak to the feeling over here because I'm actually a Michigan native myself, Michigander, if you will.

Yeah, no kidding, same here. Where are you on the hand.

Over here on the western pole?

Oh interesting, I'm just a little southeast of the thumb.

Oh both stupid thumb folk. I had no idea. Must have been wild cutting class to snort car grease and that abandoned Pontiac factory.

Right.

Okay, Like you guys had it so good in the West selling tulet bulb so you could buy tickets to minor league West Michigan White Cap games.

You take the name of the West Michigan White Camps. O your mouth, thumb boy.

Okay, okay, let's let's look look, Jorge, let's put our obviously universal Michigan references aside for the moment and focus in on the primary. It seems like a lot of Democrats expressed dissatisfaction yesterday.

True, Michael, but that embodies the beauty of our democracy. No matter who you are or where you come from in our country, you will be heard as long as you live in a swing state.

But just the swing states. That's only like ten states, not at all.

Five masts Michigan, Wisconsin, Pennsylvania, Georgia, sometimes Arizona. Everything else might as well be can.

Okay, well, what about people who live in New York.

They can shut the fuck up. Oh, No, one gives a shit what those people think.

Okay, Okay, I see what you're saying. So, really, we Michiganders hold a lot of power, whether we come from the East or the vastly inferior, dim witted, pee brained West.

Yes, even you, the bizarro Eastern Michigan Jordan Klepper with worse hair and a strangely smaller foreheads has power. The point is we've got the Democrats by the balls, and we need to squeeze them like sweet Michigan cherries for everything we want.

I like that. Yeah, like peace in the Middle East.

Yeah, sure that can be part of it. But also we need to build a wall on the Ohio border keep the Buckeyes out.

I love this. We could put eminem on the Supreme Court.

Yes, We'll need like a federal holiday for Jeff Daniel's birthday and retroactively make the Lions this year's Super Bowl champions.

Yeah, yeah, I don't know.

Oh Biden does that, but that's his problem, not ours.

Yep.

We could declare lakes are better than oceans, and.

Lake Michigan is obviously the best lake.

I think you mean Lake Huron.

I wouldn't be caught dead in that pill infested sledge pool you call a lake. Lake Michigan is clearly superior.

Lake superior, is superior.

You moron.

You're as useless as Ohio State's defensive line.

You're not wrong about that.

The bucket Ys absolutely buck guys, Jordan Clipper, everybody go getta. When we come back, we'll take a look inside our leader's brains.

Don't go away. Welcome back to their show.

Some big news today, one week after turning eighty two, Mitch McConnell, the longest serving Senate leader in US history, unfroze long enough to make a big announcement.

We have some breaking news from Capitol Hill to tell you about. Senator Mitch McConnell says he will step down from his position as Republican leader come November.

McConnell is the longest serving Senate leader in history.

One of life's most underappreciated college.

Is to know one of tom to move on to life's next chapter.

Next chapter. I don't think there's that much left in the book, my friend. I think you're looking at the acknowledgments page right now. But yes, this is the end of Mitch's reign in the Senate, and in honor of all that he's done to stop mass shootings, there will be a twenty one gun salute at an Elements entry school later this month. But this does raise a question, how do aging politicians know whether they still have it

Take a look Chuck Grassley turned ninety years old.

America's ruling class is composed mostly of old people that work tirelessly to ensure our country is running at full speed.

Good morning, Sunday morning.

But despite them passing a full yearly medical exam, some people wonder who is the doctor evaluating the mental fitness of America's top leaders.

Let's put it this way. He has two thumbs.

My name is doctor Dennis lowry Stein, and I am the US government's chief neurologist. It's my job to evaluate our leader's brains, and the good news is they're all pervinked. Let's take a look at President Biden.

America is a nation that can be defined in a single word, gonnot.

Excuse me, foos of the Himalas with shijingping.

That's amazing.

His brain is switching languages mid sentence. That is MOI bueno or should I say moid BRAINO. As someone who suffered from multiple brain injuries myself, I know just how important mental health is. And I know that because I've suffered from many brain injuries myself.

Okay, it from my leg.

Okay, Senator McConnell, I'm just going to ask you a few questions to check the old noggin. Okay, what is this a picture of?

Yeah?

I guess it does kind of make you think good insight, Senator, I'm going to clear you for another six years.

I check every part of the brain.

Port side than the Zuza Einstein's taint and the Lisa.

Lowe the back.

How did I get this job? Well, I'm Nancy Pelosi's nephew.

I mean, I'm not, but she thinks I am. So. I haven't personally met all my patients.

But you don't have to.

Neurology is something you can just kind of eyeball five.

Minutes later and they should go back to that quote.

They don't tell you this, go back to that question and repeat them.

Can you do it?

And you go?

Persian woman man Camera TV.

More words than I know. The best part of my job is reassuring the public that their leaders are Okay, no, wait, the best part is writing my own prescriptions. But after that, reassuring the public. I know, I know a lot of you have expressed concerns for the senator's well being. But I have his test results right here.

One.

That's what he said when I asked him what year it was, And you know what, to me, that's close enough. Bottom line. If you were worried about the mental faculties of our highest ranking officials, just remember you've got a professional making sure everything is okay. Yes, night, I just wanted to inform Senator Feinstein that her brain is cleared for another term. Oh she did. No, No, that doesn't change my diagnosis at all.

You have a good day.

Welcome back slows positively joining me on the show.

Don't go away, Welcome back to very show.

My guest tonight is the best selling author whose new book is called There's Four People. Please welcome Sloan Crosley. All right, Love, how are you feeling?

I feel really great. How do you feel?

I feel great. I'm excited to talk with you. This book is beautiful and wonderful. You write before this book a lot of essays involving humor. This is a memoir involving loss and grief with a lot of humor in it. I laugh. But how do you strike that balance between grief and laughing?

I know believe I'm here talking about the Sad Book.

Ye.

No, I think that the sort of topography of grief that everyone experiences. The people you miss you miss because they're so specific, and in this case, the person I miss was very dark and very funny, and so you have both my cylinder of humor going and his going at the same time.

You mentioned Russell. But really, when you start this book, it's about being burglarized.

I know, so many bad things, so.

Many bad things happen. Again, there's a lot of laughing. There is a lot of laughing for real, for real, I mean. But one of the most interesting parts of the book is how it turns and tell me a little bit about you know, how you approach that from being robbed to then this next bad thing that happened.

Yeah, So basically, in June June twenty seventh of twenty nineteen, I left my apartment for one hour to get a hand X ray. So I took all my rings off, right, what are you going to do? And came home to find all my jewelry gone, burglarized and not particularly flashy, just gone.

And then a month.

Later, my dearest friend unfortunately died by aside so that first loss obviously became the sort of more minor precursor to the second loss. But I, as a human being, I am deeply unlucky. But as in this case, I am. But as a writer of this book, I knew this is a suspenseful story about grief, and it's a funny story about grief, and I don't think you get a lot of those.

Yeah, and it's easy to grieve at first for these items. Yeah right, I mean, if you have, it sucked, it sucks. I mean it's you know, we had some winter coats stolen, and I'm almost embarrassed we have winter coats stolen. I'm almost sorry, exactly exactly. It is humorous in a way, but also you feel violated, you feel mad, and then as soon as anything real happens, you go that's the important thing.

Yes, Well, it's also the only commonality that these two losses have is the sudden nature them. It just felt like a real demarcation of before and after, which you don't always get with grief.

Tell me about Russell, you tell a lot of the.

Book a national television Please share like anyone would about their friend. So I used to work in book publishing, he hired me. I worked for him for ten years. He was a wildly generous, funny, brilliant, brilliant publicist, and deeply inappropriate. I'm really hesitant to repeat some of the lines in the book, but you know, he fits sort of less and less I think in the world that

Right, right, You know, world has changed, the world has changed.

But he was just just a wonderful, well read human being who really was almost like, you know, he's my.

Partner in crime.

I felt like that people have that with work relationships and trends.

I love when you talk about some of his quote unquote offensive whatever they were, remarks actions. I mean, he sent you an email once as your cats or something that was your account, the whole account.

Yeah, I would say, like, Mommy, why are you wearing the same thing you wore yesterday?

Mommy, wann't you come home last night?

Right?

This is my boss?

Just so that's so awesome.

I mean also like my dear wonderful friend.

Yeah. And what HR doesn't get is won't kill them right, Well, it's it's when someone is gone. It's these hilarious sometimes they cross the line moments that we think about and we laugh about.

Yes, and now, having said that, I'm not trying to be permissive over some of the behavior that he exhibited it. But also it didn't come those things that we're talking about, didn't. They weren't attached to, you know, sort of abuses of power, lording sex over people or anything like that.

He fought for everyone's raises.

You know, you talk about lack of self help books or grieving groups for loss of a friend. Yes, why is that?

Well, I would say, it's not like anyone was trying to take my grief away from me. You know, nobody was like, well, you don't get to grieve too bad, just a friend to sit in the corner. No, But it just felt like the structure of life, of the self help books of the internet is very much loss of a spouse, loss of a child, God forbid, you know,

It can feel very serious, But there's humor, And are you looking for the humor?

Or?

Are you a person who writes your truth? The world you're in a Humor's there this whole thing?

Yeah?

Yeah, that'll thing?

No, I mean it is, the truth is axiety. I'm fascinating.

Not for them, because I'm curious, because it's like, do you try to be funny? Yeah? Not for them? Do you try to be funny in this serious situation?

No, no, I don't.

I think that what I have and what I imagine you have as well, in replace of poetry, maybe our analogies and observations and sort of this abject exasperation at the world, and that's how I see and describe the world. So the humor, you know, in my more traditional humor essays, there's a better sort of alignment I suppose between the topic and how I'm telling the story. With a grief book, I think it hopefully gives the book more texture and or will offend massive amounts of people.

No, well it's not. It's an excellent read. Why are why are we afraid to say grief? Why are we afraid to talk about it? I find talking about death, especially North American culture, it's I keep it down. Why tell me the answer to this existential question?

Oh that that's why you're hearing specifically.

But you have a good input on you have a good thought on.

How to speak to people who are.

Grieving or so I why sorry? On why it is that we talk about it so little? Why is there a little bit of an air right now mission? Because there's grief and there's sate.

Well, especially the kind of the kind of death this is is very scary when we say, we don't necessarily say your cancer a cancer? Would you say a suicide or your suicide?

His suicide. It's like we give it.

It's like hot coal, and we give it back to the dead person as fast as we possibly can.

And I think because we're frightened for ourselves, as we will should be.

But I think the only way around that is to discuss it more and to talk about it and to be asked questions about it. You know, the way of Russell's death people would often say, did you know, which I personally don't have the best reaction to you, because I don't know if it's for me or for him, but.

I want to talk about it. What should you say?

Well, I mean, first of all, you should say whatever the hell you.

Want to say, as long as it's I'm not trying to police people's reaction to grief, as long as it's authentic and it's sincere and not just sort of rubber necking in a horror story and using your grief for this, I think you should just go with declarative statements. You did well sort of where you said, you know, you said, tell me about him.

I wish I knew him.

You must have been wonderful. What a big life. That's more than this one moment.

That's that's beautiful. I've heard you say part of grief is becoming on the side of the living. Once again, explain that to me.

Well, if you've ever grieved someone, you know that, especially right away. There's this sort of almost embarrassing thing I felt, which is I was receiving all of these wonderful condolences, and I felt like I was ill equipped or did not have the shelving to accept them because everybody had committed the sin of not being able to bring my friend back, and I just wanted to do whatever he

You know?

And I'm like, Okay, somebody needed to sort of pull me aside and say, you know, he's not going to be going to the memorial service, And honestly, at that moment, no, I did not know that.

So is it like changing that focus to back to present tense?

Yeah?

Yes, and also change into what he would want, do you know? Because again, even and especially with someone who dies by suicide, they are more than their last act of free will. And we had an entire friendship and entire life together where I know that he wanted more from me than to just focus on him.

Yeah, it's a beautiful book. You will laugh, you will think, I promise you, But it's also a tribute to your friend Russell. Thank you for chatting with us very much. I appreciate it. Grief is Grief is for people, is available now, Sloan Crosley, everybody, and we're gonna take us for great and we love back after.

Thank you, thank you for.

That's our show for tonight now here it is your moment of zen.

My blood type is very negative. That's a problem.

So I don't know what to do. Even like you, I don't know what to do.

And I mean even phone sex I had.

I tried it once, I got an ear infection.

Is that good, Jordan?

So because of that, I'm so frightened of getting close to somebody.

I have this fear of intimacy. And the best I can say.

To any now while I'm making love is I love you, ladies and gentlemen.

That's the best I can say. And I love all of you, and you You're the king. I'm plotted to be here.

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