Michael Kosta Covers Kamala’s New VP Pick & President Biden’s Exit Interview | ICYMI

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Let's talk about the major news in the presidential race. Ever since Kamala Harris became the de facto nominee, there have been two questions on everyone's mind. One why does the sun go up and down if the earth is spinning left to right?

And two?

Who is going to be Kamala's running mate? Everyone had their own suggestions. Pick someone from a swing stage, pick a good communicator. One guy was like, pick someone with a sick corvette. It's over, Joe, let it go. But most importantly, everyone agreed that it had to be a white man. Well, today we found out if Kamala listened.

Hmmm, hang on, hang on, it's a white man. It's a white man. Yeah, you know, I should have known. I have a cousin who's white. So this is big news.

Kamala Harris has selected Minnesota Governor Tim Walls as a running mate, and the reactions are pouring in.

I think Tim Wolves could be an excellent governing partner. D Kamala Harris and a real asset here.

He does come across as someone who is really relatable, somebody that people just enjoy spending time with.

A Trump campaign fundraising text message that went out to supporters goes quote Tim Walls will unleash hell on Earth.

Okay, book mostly positive, one on leash hell on Earth, but mostly positive.

Obviously there's some disagreement here, So let's.

Find out about this Tim Walls, which, by the way, it's not Waltz, it's Walls w Alz. You see, he's suffering from low Trump.

You can have that one if you want. Now.

Obviously I already know all about Tim Walls, as I have a well of knowledge about every governor in America, even the ones from the boring states. But since you guys have probably never heard of this guy before, I googled him in a panic on your behalf this morning, and what I found out is that Tim Walls has got a lot done as governor. He legalized marijuana, passed family. Yeah it's a weed crowd. Yeah, he passed family and sickly.

For all school kids, which.

Which makes him ironic VP pic. Democrats said, man, you've done so much as governor. We'd like to promote you to a position where you'll do absolutely nothing. But if you ask me, his appeal to this ticket isn't that's just the record as governor. It says overall vibe, you know, and that vibe it's Midwestern Dad has.

F Hey, everybody tim here eleven days till the election. But it's my pro tip of the day out on the road. I got to show you this. This right here is the headlight harness on a twenty fourteen Ford edge Ford.

This is unacceptable.

It burned out hot on the connector. So for seven ninety nine at NAPA Auto Partoo in the city.

You can replace this.

Just clip off the back, use some shrink wrap connectors on their tape it back together and put it back in. It's about a five minute fix and you're back on the road, safe and sound.

Well.

Jesus Christ, Jesus Christ, that is the most dad video I've ever seen in my life. That is a man who watches Band of Brothers while standing up with his arms crossed. If this dude becomes vice president, they're going to find him out on the white house lawn.

Changing the oil on a editor drawn. Don't call it pentagon. They'll charge you an arm and a leg. All it needs is a counter sung head Bull'll come here. I'll show you come here.

Now here's another classic Midwestern dad thing. He's got a gen Z daughter and he doesn't quite understand it.

Every year we as a family do something old and something new, but then we're gonna go get some.

Food corn dogs, I'm vegetarian turkey.

Then he's trying so hard. He's trying so hard.

You don't eat meat, well, fishes and meat, and turkey's kind of like fit.

Let's get a cheeseburger.

And will It makes it hard, makes it harder for the alt right to call you a soy boy when you're like.

Bison is a vegetable.

And Tim Walls is not just a Midwestern dad now. He's been a Midwestern dad his whole life. He's serving the National Guard. He has his own award winning Tater Tots hot Day. How much more midwestern can he get?

In nineteen ninety four, he married fellow school teacher Gwyn Walls. They moved to Mankato in the mid nineties, where he began teaching and coaching football at Mankato West High School.

Oh my god, he was a small town high school football coach.

And he's been married for thirty years.

And he's eating a bucket of cookies. Leave at the Minnesota to measure cookies by the bucket.

This guy is almost too Midwestern. Even his bad stuff is still Midwestern.

In nineteen ninety five, Tim Walls was arrested in Nebraska for driving under the influence. He was driving ninety six miles an hour in a fifty five mile per hour zone.

Well yeah, I mean, of course he was driving that fast. He had to get home before he heard anybody driving drunk.

I should know.

So yes, Tim Walls has a duy arrest, but just one. So no wonder voters elected him governor. He's the most responsible driver in the whole Midwest. For more on the selection of Tim Malls, we go live to the announcement rally with our very own Josh Johnson.

Josh, Josh, what's the word on this kick?

People are liking this decision, Bible because Tim Walls bounces the ticket.

Kamala Harris is a woman.

He's a man.

She's from California. He's from the Midwest. She is young and he is old.

No, actually, Josh, they're the same age.

No, No, they're not. Yeah, they're the same age. Yeah they are.

There's no way that's true.

You're telling me Kamala Harris is the same age as Batman. Looks like the skipper from Gilligan's Island.

Look, I know, but they're born six months apart.

I think you a damn liar, But whatever, because the most important dynamic here is that she is black and he is the right type of white guy.

Right type of white guy? What do you mean there's just white guys.

You can't see it because you're in it.

But there's many, many types of white guys.

Okay, I'm gonna have to stop you right there because I find that offensive.

And that makes sense because you are the type of white guy who's easily offended. All right, But there's lots of other types.

You got hipsters, jocks, nerds, those.

Guys that always scream, what's God, no one knows where they're going.

I see some of those types are gonna like Wallts, but some are gonna like jd Vance exactly.

Walls appeals to the older.

White guy who always tells the same joke to the server at Denny's, the one where he points to his empty plate and says, I guess I hated it.

That's a great joke because he clearly loved it.

Meanwhile.

Jd Vance appeals to the older white guys who say things like I'm not racist, but and then say the most racist shit you've ever heard. Tim Walls appeals to white guys who hang an American flag.

Jd Vance appeals to white guys who hang a bunch of American flags.

I mean.

Tim Walls appeals to white guys who call PBS to make a donation. Jd Vance appeals to white guys who call Fox News to say their gold coins haven't arrived in the mail.

You know, I was too close to the situation that I missed the nuance. There's different white just like there's different black guys.

Like you know, there's a kind of a black guy.

I'm gonna stop you right there, Michael, You right, okay, But as your friend, you're correct, But for your career sake, I'm gonna ask you not to start naming the different type of black guys right now.

Well, look, and I'll be the type of white guy who listens to the black guy, Josh Johnson.

Everybody.

Donald Trump hasn't been having the best time lately. He's losing ground in the polls, his opponents are dominating the news cycle, and someone just showed him what JD.

Vance looks like without the beard.

So it wasn't surprising that when Trump held a news conference earlier today, he had the frustrated energy of a coach after losing four games in a row.

Oh, give me a break. He's so mad. He's so mad.

That's what I sound like when I check out of a hotel and I find out there was.

A pool feed. It's like, give me a break. I didn't even know there was a pool.

All right, Matt, Look, just tell us how big your crowds are, and try not to be weird about.

I've spoken to the biggest crowds. Nobody's spoken to crowds bigger than me either.

You look at Martin Luther King.

Well, whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa No no, no, no, no, no, no hold on, all right, let's be careful comparing yourself to Martin Luther King.

Here.

I know you were both investigated by the FBI. But that's about it. Do not try to say that you were more popular.

When he did his speech, his great speech, And you look at ours, same real estate, same everything. You look at it, and you look at the picture of his crowd, my prewer, we actually had more people.

Just to summ up.

Trump was asked about Kamala's crowd size, and his answer ended up being I'm better than MLK. Probably not the best answer, but it could have been worse. Trump could have been like and out of nowhere. MLK decided he was black. When did that happen? Let's move on to someone who doesn't have to worry about crowd size ever again. The current president, Joseph rode hard and put away wet Biden.

I bet he's energized in mistake free.

Are you confident that there will be a peaceful transfer of power in January twenty twenty five if Trump wins.

No, I'm not comforting Law.

I mean, if Trump loses, I'm not comforting Law nailed it.

Look look that was a huge, huge mix up, but everyone relaxed. Okay, Remember he's not the candidate anymore. He's just the president, so who cares. Two months ago, watching a video like this would have given me to start freebasing perk asset. But now that he's not the nominee, I can just freebase percaset for fun.

I'm just gonna I don't do it to a fun, I do it because I'm addicted.

Let's move on, because if you're sick of the presidential race and you wish that you could spend the rest of it as far away as possible, then you're going to envy these next two people.

Some big news from NASA. Those two astronauts who launched on a Boeing Starliner spaceship for a ten day mission back in June, Well there's word now they may not be coming home until next February.

February twenty twenty five.

February twenty twenty five, they're going to miss the insurrection. They were supposed to be gone for a week, and now it's going to be eight months. And this is not just an eight month trip, this is an eight month work trip.

Take a good look around at your coworkers, and.

Imagine spending eight months with them makes you want to kill yourself live on air, doesn't it. And by the way, they're not going to be back in eight months either. Okay, things always end up taking longer than they say. There's a formula I use when someone else tells me how long it's going to take to fix something. What I do is I take that amount of time and I add forever to it.

Okay, tell me fake all our space shit.

Anyways, you know, why is this the problem? Just open the door of the sound stage in Burbank and let these people go home.

But apparently it's more complicated than that.

Nasha and Boeing engineers remain divided over whether it's shape to bring Wilmore and Williams back on Starliner. Their concerned Helium leagues and Anchiem Thruster problems could pose serious risks. Boeing believes Starliner would bring the astronauts home safely.

I'm very confident we have a good vehicle to bring the.

Crew back with.

Yeah.

Well, if you know, Boeing says, it's if I think we can just trust them on this one, right, Yeah, I mean there are days without an incident sign.

There's almost up to double digits. They got that? What's that?

I'm being told that the Days without Incident signed fell and killed someone. Oh why are we even still going to space?

There's no gravity up there? We can't breathe. I think it's sending us a message.

We already have a planet Earth right here, and it's going to be here for at least another twenty years fifteen if.

You use a plastic straw for for whatever reason, we're up there.

And so to those poor astronauts who are stuck up in space, I personally I give them permission to.

Have an affair.

You know, zero gravity baby, it's the perfect excuse. Who hasn't gotten stuck in space and floated inside a coworker.

It happens to the best tellers. And finally, let's move on to someone we wish would get stuck in space. Elon Musk.

Ever since he took over x formerly known as Twitter, formally known as a good website, he's lost every advertiser except cheech and shop, which is what tends to happen when your entire website is just nazis pedaling cryptocurrency to pornbots so to get advertisers back.

Musk could clean up Twitter, or he could do this.

Elon Musk's social media platform X is suing a group of major advertisers over an alleged ad boycott. The suit claims the group organized to block billions of dollars of ad revenue over its concern about a change in brand safety standards since Musk acquired the platform back in twenty twenty two.

The lawsuit comes despite Musk previously claiming that he didn't care if brands pulled their advertisements.

There was all of the criticism, there was advertisers leaving.

We talked to Bob Eyer, twist stop you hope don't advertise.

You don't want them to advertise. No, go yourself, but go yourself? Is that clear? I hope it is? Wow, Wow interesting.

I didn't think it was possible to look uncool while wearing a leather jacket and telling people to go themselves, but he pulled it off somehow. Now, the go gick yourself guy might not be the best person to convince you that this lawsuit isn't frivolous and desperate and pathetic. But luckily Elon Musk hired this lady, Linda Yacarino, and as the CEO of Twitter, it's her job to give his childish outbursts the veneer of grown up reasoning, and she explained this whole situation perfectly.

Hey, everybody, I was shocked by the evidence uncovered by the House Judiciary Committee that a group of companies organized a systematic, illegal boycott against X. These organizations targeted our company and you, our users. That puts your Global town Square the one place that you can express yourself freely and openly at long term risk. No small group of

Wow, that was a lot of unnecessary hand gestures. And can we cool it with the Global town Square thing? This isn't the only website for people to express their thoughts. Okay, you know, I'm on Instagram, I'm on Reddit, I've got an OnlyFans where I scoop oatmeal with my feet. I'm fine, and I don't do apple cinnamon, so stop asking. Okay, but actually, that wasn't the only video that Linda Yakarino made here at the Daily Show.

We just got an advanced copy of her next one.

I was shocked to learn that people think are lost suit against advertisers with stupid and a waste of time. In reality, we are defending ourselves. Without advertisers, we will die. People say that we are being big cry babies who don't understand basic capitalism, But we believe that we at X should be able to continue to platform sexual harassers and nat whoopsie diverse voices without suffering any consequences. There

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