Martial Laws, End Zones, and The Cosmos - podcast episode cover

Martial Laws, End Zones, and The Cosmos

Dec 04, 202437 min
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Episode description

Ronny Chieng tackles South Korea’s martial law reversal and misconduct allegations against Pete Hegseth. In “Sports War,” Ronny and Jordan Klepper debate Trump-inspired athlete celebrations and Hallmark’s NFL holiday collab. Astrophysicist Neil deGrasse Tyson joins to share insights from his new book, the contributions of immigrants to science, and why resilience is key in the scientific community.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Transcript

Speaker 1

You're listening to Comedy Central.

Speaker 2

From the most trusted journalists at Comedy Central's.

Speaker 3

America's only sorts for news.

Speaker 1

This it's the Daily Joke with your host promis.

Speaker 3

To the show. I'm run Chang. We got so much to talk about tonight.

Speaker 4

Trump nominee hits the Strip Club, Jordan Clapper and I fight about sports, and Neil deGrasse Tyson will explain space to me. But fus, let's get into the big international story.

Speaker 5

Breaking news this morning out of South Korea, where the president there just declared marshal law.

Speaker 4

Okay, South Korea, stop giving Trump ideas, right, He didn't know you could do that. Unfortunately for South Korea, this looks like the beginning of a long and slow descent into dictatorship, of a dark period which may last years or even decades.

Speaker 6

Breaking news from overseas.

Speaker 7

South Korea's parliament just voted to nullify the declaration of martial law that was made by the country's president just a few hours earlier.

Speaker 4

Oh that's great, good old Asian efficiency. The president went nuts, declared martial law. The assembly overruled him, marshal law over and they did it all in a lunch break. All right, everybody get back to doing k po touch up. Yes, but I'm glad this didn't get our hand because I don't even know what martial law in South Korea looks like. I mean, do they wheel this doll out and whoever moves get shot? But let's turn to a country just

beginning as fast as the period. In another edition of Trump two point zero coming for the White House.

Speaker 1

I'm gonna come.

Speaker 4

Don Trump has spent the last few weeks filling out his cabinet, and now that Matt Gates has dropped out to try to find the high school from Euphoria, there is a new nominee for shadiest nominee, Pete Hegseth, Trump's pick for Secretary of Defense and guy with resting divorce face and all right, let's hear it left the snowflakes, what's wrong with this one?

Speaker 8

CBS News has confirmed that Pete Hechseth was forced to step down from a veteran's nonprofit after being accused of alcohol abuse, sexual misconduct, and mismanaging the group's money.

Speaker 4

Okay, that's a lot for one person. Alcohol, sex, and financial misconduct. I mean it's called delegating bud.

Speaker 3

Try it sometimes.

Speaker 4

How could someone do so many at things at the same time, Like, not only are you drinking and harassing women, you've also got to find time to suck at quick books. I mean, let's go through his charges because I'm sure the libs are just overreacting. Like with alcohol, I mean what, you probably had too much shot in ay at the office Christmas party, like one time, how bad could it be?

Speaker 7

The report says Hegseth was repeatedly intoxicated to the point of needing to be carried out of the organization's events.

Speaker 9

So inugrated by one am that a staffer who had driven him to his hotel in a van full of other drunken staffers, asked for assistance to get Hegseth to his room.

Speaker 10

Heg Seth passed out in the back of a party bus, then urinated in front of a hotel where CBA's team was staying.

Speaker 5

At one point, HeiG Seth had to be restrained, while drunk from joining the dancers on the stage of a Louisiana strip club.

Speaker 4

Wow Wow, do you know how hot it is to be the saddest thing at a strip club? I mean, half naked, pregnant woman dancing to pay her medical bills. Was looking at him like, damn, this guy needs to get some help, right. Also, how do you not know that you can't just get on stage at a strip club? Okay, they don't even let regulars do that. I'm guessing I

don't know. That's what Wikipedia says. Look, you guys are laughing, But does no one see the tragedy in this a warrior forced to fight when really he just wants to get on that stage and dance. But yeah, he seems to have nailed the alcoholism. Let's hear about the sexual misconduct.

Speaker 9

Heck Seth and other members of the management team sexually pursued the organization's female staffers, who may divide it into two groups, the party girls and the not party girls.

Speaker 3

Okay, y'all, let me just check this real quick. All right, Yeah, that's not allowed.

Speaker 4

I don't know what's worse that he supposedly divided his female staff into pow girls and not potty girls, or that he couldn't think of a wood for not potty It's really a bit.

Speaker 3

Of a caveman, isn't he.

Speaker 4

When the sun in sky day when sun go away, not day time for potty girl. So Pete was reportedly constantly drunk and trying to sleep with the potty girls on staff.

Speaker 3

But what about the financial mismanagement, you say?

Speaker 6

Under his leadership, Veterans for Freedom soon ran up enormous debt, and financial records indicate that by the end of two thousand and eight, the year after he became the leader of the group, it was unable to pay its creditors.

Speaker 10

Hegg says had treated the organization funds like they were a personal expense account for partying, drinking, and using CVA events as little more than opportunities to hook up with women on the road.

Speaker 4

When he joined this veteran's charity, did he think that he was the veteran it was going to? I mean, guys, really help my mental health to go to this strip club? Okay, I have PTSD, partty time suck my so unlike wrap around shades, none of this is a great look for Pete Hegseth. But you know what, hey, these are anonymous quotes from a bunch of haters.

Speaker 3

I'm sure his mom loves him.

Speaker 11

Meanwhile, and heg Seth's mother sent him an email in twenty eighteen during his second divorce calling him quote an abuser of women, Penelope Hegseeth, writing quote, I have no respect for any man that belittles, lies, cheats, sleeps around, and uses women for his own power and ego.

Speaker 4

Okay, I'm putting mom down as not a potty girl. For more on this controversy surrounding p heg SAT's appointment, let's go to Capitol Hill with Troy Wata bro Troy, Hey, Troy.

Speaker 12

Now, what's the It's tense, Ronnie. I asked Pete earlier for his response to this report, and he said, these are baseless allegations and he's determined to clear his name. And then he threw up all over my shoes.

Speaker 3

Okay, so what he's drunk right now?

Speaker 12

Oh no, no, no, no, no, this was that was this morning? He was he was drunk this morning. He is not drunk now, yeah, what's that?

Speaker 4

What?

Speaker 3

Sorry? He also is drunk.

Speaker 4

Now, okay, okay, well that's ridiculous. Okay, this has to kill his nomination.

Speaker 1

Oh god, I hope not what.

Speaker 3

You want a drunk secretary of Defense.

Speaker 12

Like the sober ones have been so great. Yeah, all they've done has got us into wars. Okay, Iraq Afghanistan, I'd rack again, and who can forget the war on Christmas?

Speaker 3

Yeah? Okay, that last one is not a real war.

Speaker 12

Yeah, tell that to the Starbucks brister who wished me a happy Holidays this morning. It's Christmas, you know, the day of Mariah Carey. The point is, I want a secretary who's not invading countries because he's passed out in the situation room, covered in his own piss.

Speaker 4

Okay, yeah, but when he's not passed out, he'll be a big problem.

Speaker 3

Like drunk people get mad.

Speaker 12

Yeah, but it's easier to distract a drunk person, you know, if he's like, I'm mad at France, Let's go to war with France, we'll just say, or let's go to karaoke, you know, and half an hour later we're in Koreatown singing Pink Pony Club. Well, he's straight, so it'll be lose yourself, but you get it.

Speaker 3

Eternal peace. Wait, let me explain it to you visually.

Speaker 1

Okay.

Speaker 12

So the more drunk someone is, the more peaceful they become. Okay, so it goes war in Iraq?

Speaker 3

Who's Iraq? Love Iraq so much? Let's adopt a dog?

Speaker 4

Okay, Okay, aren't you worry that a raging alcoholic will have access to the nuclear codes.

Speaker 12

No, do you know how hard it is to enter a code when you're drunk. He'll just be poking away with his little fingies and halfway through and just realize he's playing Candy Crush on his phone.

Speaker 4

Okay, well, this aw song is very irresponsible, Troy. Okay, America needs a competent administrator of its military.

Speaker 12

Ronnie, how can I put this? You're sounding very not party girl right now?

Speaker 3

Okay, Hey, hey, you take that back. Okay, I am partty girl. I am potty girl, Troy want everybody.

Speaker 2

Hey, when we come back, we'll fight about sports, So don't go away it.

Speaker 3

Hey, welcome back to a daily show.

Speaker 4

Let's wee win the dismantling of American democracy. Let's take a moment to focus on what people really care about sports. For a full recap of the brightest stories in the world of bucks and straps, we turned to sports war.

Speaker 1

You're ready for better.

Speaker 2

It's time for brought to you by Cambling.

Speaker 1

Cambling the gentleman's addiction.

Speaker 3

Hey, what's up? Cholten? Chol dead? So I'm Ronnie Chad and I'm Jordan Klepfer.

Speaker 13

This is sports war, the show where we are legally not allowed to agree with each other.

Speaker 4

So if I say college athletes should not be.

Speaker 13

Paid, then I say everyone in college should be paid, even the professors.

Speaker 4

Uh, the professors do get paid.

Speaker 3

Dipshit.

Speaker 13

Clearly not your professors, Ronnie. And what's even major in Let me guess eating by yourself in the dining hall.

Speaker 4

Oh, like you missed the popular then you have three roommates kill themselves.

Speaker 13

Okay, it was two. The third we never saw again. Enough about college let's talk college sports. It was rivalry week for college football, and on Saturday things got extra rivalry e.

Speaker 7

On Sunday, the Big Ten fine Michigan and Ohio State one hundred thousand dollars each after a postgame brawl erupted Saturday.

Speaker 3

Look at this.

Speaker 7

The fighting broke out between the two squads after the Wolverines planted their flag at midfield of Ohio Stadium following their thirteen to ten win over the Buckeyes. Police god to use pepper spray to disperse the players.

Speaker 1

Boom, boom.

Speaker 3

I love it.

Speaker 13

As my grandfather used to say, if there's grass on the field, play ball. Just realize that's not what he was talking about.

Speaker 4

Okay, Jordan, it's a shame you're not handsome because you're very stupid. Okay, Reckless fighting should only happen during the game.

Speaker 3

That's the violence I'm gambling on.

Speaker 4

If you have the energy to fight after that means you didn't play hot enough.

Speaker 13

You're a dumb man with dumber takes. Look, this melee was fantastic. A football game turned into a UFC fight.

Speaker 3

That's incredible.

Speaker 13

More sports should be combined like this. Imagine an NBA game ending and then boom Lebron and Kevin Durant start competitive louging ooh and vote us. More sports equals less time with my family.

Speaker 4

Which brings us to our sig boom bang better than night. So when will Jordan Klipper finally learn the names of his three children? As Unways, this bet brought to you by gambling gambling.

Speaker 3

I think your mom has a money in a pus.

Speaker 13

Three children. That can't be right. Moving on to a trend in football that doesn't involve steroid induced violence, but still is all the rage.

Speaker 5

The celebration trend in the sports world, the Trump dance. Trump's double fist pump has been a rally stable for years now, but now the dance jumping from rallies to sports. US soccer star Christian Hoolisige busted out the move. Pro

football players hitting the Trump dance after big plays. Raiders Ricky brock frowers in the end zone, Lions player za Darius Smith after getting a sack, Titans wide out Calvin Ridley celebrated with teammates after a long score, and UFC champ John Jones hitting the dance after knocking out his opponent.

Speaker 3

While Trump watched.

Speaker 4

Oh, just stop it with this, okay. I live by two rules. One I do not mix politics and sports. And two, if I'm watching porn and they start speaking Russian, I'm out. The least I can do to support Ukraine.

Speaker 13

Ronnie, Ronnie, Ronnie, you know I support your anti war. Jack Sessions totally supports, but you're done wrong here. We need more politics in sports. Liberal athletes can do this too. You score a touchdown and then you hit that Joe Biden, who's gonna hate on that?

Speaker 3

I hate it?

Speaker 4

Okay, we need to keep politics out sports. Sunday is for drinking eight beers and watching football, drinking eight beers and watching Rachel Maddow that's a Monday thing.

Speaker 1

You're a Monday thing.

Speaker 3

I'm a Thursday thing.

Speaker 13

Oh yeah, the best I could do is Wednesday thing.

Speaker 3

Deal.

Speaker 13

Look, my point still stands, Ronnie. There should be more politics in sports. NHL goalie should be senators and the slam dunk contest should be all Supreme Court justices, which brings us to my big baller bets bonanza to.

Speaker 3

My own signature.

Speaker 4

Don't be called as always brought to you by gambling. Gambling you need something to do alone in your car?

Speaker 3

Oh right, moving on, Ronnie.

Speaker 13

As you know, it's not just football season, it's also the holiday season.

Speaker 3

Merry Christmas, Jordan to you.

Speaker 13

I wish you a happy Buddhism Day.

Speaker 3

Okay, it's called Asian Christmas, Thank you very much.

Speaker 13

Point being this year, there's a new movie that combines the best of both seasons.

Speaker 14

Hallmark is making history for the upcoming holiday season with their new film Holiday Touchdown, a Chiefs love story. This marks the first time the company has collaborated with the NFL and the defending Super Bowl champions. The Kansas City Chiefs are the true stars of the story.

Speaker 2

Viewers should keep an eye on for some cameos from Chiefs players and some well known faces.

Speaker 3

Boo, I hate this trend.

Speaker 13

Athletes should play sports and actors should act.

Speaker 3

Except OJ Simpson.

Speaker 4

You know.

Speaker 3

He could do both.

Speaker 13

That guy killed it at everything.

Speaker 3

Okay, wrong again?

Speaker 4

Hepatitis gonna be Okay, we need more football players in movies. I mean, just imagine Gronk in twelve years of Slaves. Okay, never too soon for reboot.

Speaker 13

Ronnie, you don't understand. These football players are moving into our territory. They're trying to plant their flag in our TV industry, and we.

Speaker 3

Have to fight them.

Speaker 4

Okay, Well I'm not fighting along, Si you Okay, when you work out dress Bond, you.

Speaker 13

Know what, they politely asked me to stop working out there years ago. I'll have you know I do a high intensity circuit workout designed specifically for elderly lesbians.

Speaker 4

Which brings us to my badass bingo bomb bet of the Evening, which elderly lesbian good kid going to Clipper's ass as always brought to you by gambling gambling savings accounts off for pusses.

Speaker 3

Well that's all for this week.

Speaker 13

Sports War joined us next week when we debate should NFL teams get one smoke grenade per game.

Speaker 4

I mean, obviously, I think they should get one per half, like a challenge flat.

Speaker 13

That's too much smoke grenade.

Speaker 3

No, no, no touching, it's too much. Welcome back to Dad.

Speaker 1

We shall all right.

Speaker 4

My guest, Denight is a renowned astro physicist and author whose latest book is called Merlin's Toward the Universe.

Speaker 3

Please welcome the great Neil de grass Tyson.

Speaker 4

It's almost fun your show, Yes, beloved, thanks for coming on.

Speaker 3

So great to meet you.

Speaker 1

Thank you, man, And that is why I never met you before.

Speaker 3

Before I watched you for years.

Speaker 1

Aye.

Speaker 3

Father.

Speaker 1

I loved you in the movie Megan, by the way, that terrified me.

Speaker 3

Yeah, please watch that movie as many times as you can. How's my contracting too show?

Speaker 9

Yeah?

Speaker 4

This.

Speaker 3

I loved your book as well.

Speaker 1

Your new book, Yeah, thank you.

Speaker 3

It's a republishing of Q and A's that you got.

Speaker 1

Brought into the twenty first century, into for a.

Speaker 4

Century, and so it's written in terms of the format is kind of short questions and you kind of give answers. And this was done over the course of last what thirty.

Speaker 1

Well that was done thirty five years ago, but I brought it into the twenty first century. Yes, my brother illustrated.

Speaker 3

Yes, your brother artist. I want to get into that.

Speaker 1

He actually went to the High School of Music and Art here at New York City.

Speaker 3

There you go family.

Speaker 4

Yeah, and science and yeah what I What I love about this book is like it's almost written like poetry the science questions in terms of like you know, every page is a distinct.

Speaker 1

Yes, thanks for noticing that every attempt to reply to people has its own personality, in its own flavor.

Speaker 4

But it's almost like reading a Bukowski book because you know, because you can just have it on your desk and you flip it open and you get some inspiration from how dumb people are?

Speaker 3

Right, like this was written thirty five years ago.

Speaker 4

You know, well, I shouldn't say done some goood questions how effective with the Hubble Space telescope for viewing abah blah black Houston, Texas? But yeah, I guess my point like this was, where in thirty five years ago have you found, like the general public's questions, you have gotten dumber or smarter?

Speaker 3

Like where where are we trending? Where are we trending?

Speaker 1

I see both happening simultaneously. No, Yeah, the smart question is getting smarter and the dumb question getting dumb. But I don't care. As an educator, you bring the question on.

Speaker 3

Okay, So even even in science it's we're going to extremes.

Speaker 1

But I'm okay on either side of that.

Speaker 3

Fance mathematically cancels out there.

Speaker 1

Yes, they average out to the middle.

Speaker 15

Very good.

Speaker 3

Yeah, yeah, take the average.

Speaker 1

Take the average.

Speaker 3

It works out. Yeah.

Speaker 4

I mean, I you know, I hate to be I'm trying to phrase these questions neutrally, but it sounds sometimes. It feels sometimes like when as an outsider to America, I came here, I was thirty and growing up, I always felt like this was the place for innovations. Where NASA was, is where they invented the Internet, they invented Apple, This is where oil drillers went to space and blew up an asteroid using nucle weapons.

Speaker 1

That actually happened.

Speaker 4

Yeah no, So for me, like America was always the place you go when you're.

Speaker 3

The best at science, you know.

Speaker 4

And do you feel like the politics is kind of getting a way of that now into like do people I want to come here?

Speaker 15

Yeah?

Speaker 1

You know, so politics people can say what they want when they're running for office. What matters is how do you allocate money when the budget gets gets put out and I can say, you know, no, we don't have another equation like equals mc squared. You know that was that was good back.

Speaker 4

No, that was a hit single. That was a hit single. They kill yeah, I killed it with equal.

Speaker 1

In nineteen oh five. He knocked the all right out of the park. So, but but there's not just science. There's the engineering that flows out of that science. This is the this is the cousin of science that is empowered by science. So so you've seen pictures from the from the James Web Space telescope ran the edge of the universe to the front of your face. Yes, putting it in your backyard. Yes, that's been happening. You've seen Elon Musch chopstick a booster out of the sky to

reuse later. Okay, that's we've never seen that before. We have a rover on Mars the size of an suv that brought a helicopter with it. Yes, okay, so what are you complaining about?

Speaker 3

Wait, no, no, no, I'm sorry, doctor.

Speaker 1

All right, right right, one more? I got one more? One more? Was it? Two weeks ago? Three weeks ago National launched the Europa Clipper mission to go orbit Jupiter and dip close to the frozen surface of Jupiter's moon Europa and search for life in that in that moon. Yeah.

Speaker 3

Yeah, it touched and touched euro Bus moon.

Speaker 1

Yeah.

Speaker 4

But uh no, But I do like, doctor, what are you trying to tell me that.

Speaker 1

I'm trying to tell you. No, this stuff is still going down.

Speaker 4

Okay, well, it sounds like you're trying to convince me that science is good. I don't disagree. I agree science is good. I'm just asking, in your expert opinion, do you think that the kind of divisive politics will face right now is adverse to American innovation and scientific development.

Speaker 1

I haven't seen it can be that I don't see important evidence of it.

Speaker 3

None of this, None of this bothers you, none of anything.

Speaker 1

That's a different question.

Speaker 3

You haven't seen anything that bothers me, different question.

Speaker 1

That is the question I'm.

Speaker 4

Asking, Does anything bother you in the last I don't know. Maybe year of presidential elections that makes you think that maybe science is in trouble.

Speaker 1

So I worry, for example, that people get their science off of random places on the internet, off a clickbait, rather than looking at what this scientific establishment has has discovered for us. Sure, so you get someone on there and say the whole establishment is wrong, and I'm right, click here. It's irresistible.

Speaker 3

Yeah, that's what we do on this show.

Speaker 1

It's irresistible, very effective. And I'm thinking, no, science doesn't work that way. It works by you get enough observations and data and if it comes to agreement, that's the new objective truth. It's not one loan person that said, whatever the hell.

Speaker 4

You want, doctor, I mean, right, doctor, so far I agree with you that science is good and the internet is stupid. I'm asking, are you worried about where we're hitted in terms of because America is always the leader? To me, I know that sern and whatever is happening, Okay, because saying America's the leader of science?

Speaker 1

Are you worried because because all of the House of Representatives gets voted on every two years, and a third of the Senate and the president gets voted on every four years. At any time that I feel depressed, I say, and this too shall pad.

Speaker 3

Okay, that's not helpful. So that's yo, that's Buddhism. That's Buddhism for science.

Speaker 4

You're the science guy, Buddhism is my thing. You're the science guy. You get a science Okay, Okay, Well here's I guess.

Speaker 3

I'll play more.

Speaker 1

Here's what'll happen. Okay. If our science goes goes bad, Okay, and other countries rise up, then we all come together and say we don't want to be vested by these other countries. And that would be a good reason to come together rather than targeting enemies within US.

Speaker 3

Okay, that is good.

Speaker 4

But if you have faith that that will happen, I mean, okay, put this way, because like, you know what, one thing that was always what I'm getting at this whole questioning is that the innovation America seems to me driven a lot by immigrants to America. Immigrants invented the phone, invented Einstein was an immigrant.

Speaker 3

Everyone's immigrants.

Speaker 4

So so that's okay, Well, maybe that's all great, But I'm just saying, if you have an environment that's that's that's kind of saying, hey, country, for us, let's not have so much immigrations.

Speaker 1

Third of all Nobel prizes in the sciences that have gone to Americans have gone to immigrants one third. Okay. I tracked that every year great, So I know that number. Okay, So I've never been spooked by immigrants the way so many others have.

Speaker 3

You worried about. Again, we agree immigrants are good for science.

Speaker 1

Are you worried if you closed, if you, if you if you start closing things off, we will descend and become a shadow of what we once were as a technological power in this country. So it may be not to make you depressed. It may be we need to sink deeper before people wake up to the consequences of these actions or the consequences of the inactions when they should have taken that. Like, we may have to sink deeper before we just get slapped in the face and said, oh my gosh, bring the science back.

Speaker 3

Okay, that's bad. This is bad.

Speaker 4

This is a this is you're describing a doc age right now, which I was hoping what not happened? But I guess I gotta turn to Buddhism to get out.

Speaker 1

Right. So I think that's Persian and this too shall pass.

Speaker 4

I'll Buddha will claim it. We'll give you that one to Buddha. Yeah, But like there is like this idea that I feel like anytime I see you explaining something about science in America right now, it's like people just want to argue, like pull you into this culture war and and and you know what, To be fair, I guess if you look at history, scientists have always been

pulled into politics in the culture war. But you as like a kind of front facing member of the science community trying to educate people.

Speaker 3

How do you navigate this?

Speaker 1

Yeah, it's hard because because another thing is clickbait? Is it? He said? She said? He said? You said that? Comment on what they said. No, I'd rather comment than ideas and and and mission statements of what we can be as a species, as a nation, as a as anty, you know, as as a world. And so I try to avoid it, but sometimes they just drag it down, drag into the trenches. And I can fight in the trenches, you know, but I can fight for I don't want to. I don't want to.

Speaker 3

So what's kick some ass?

Speaker 1

And we have to know.

Speaker 3

There's always I was fun.

Speaker 1

You got that, you got the other equation that preceded equals MC squared. But no, I was a captain and undefeated of my high school's wrestling team as it was pounds ago. But I can I'm still feeling.

Speaker 4

Okay, well that's exactly where you need right now. We need digressed Tyson to.

Speaker 3

Be some assholes.

Speaker 1

Cage match.

Speaker 4

Yeah. Yeah, So like I guess your advice is to beat the shit out people. That's not I don't know what you know what what can the science community?

Speaker 1

No, you can do it with love by offering them perspectives they had never previously recognized was in front of them. And you say, have you thought about it this way or that way? I hadn't thought about it that way, and let's go have a beer.

Speaker 3

Yeah. That sounds like every interaction on the internet.

Speaker 1

The Internet, the Internet is a cesspool, has become a cesspool, and I'm very disappointed.

Speaker 3

So bad science bad on that one Internet.

Speaker 1

There's some good science that that happens there. But but yeah, as an invention, we all thought we would just be the community town hall. And it's just it's it's successful. Get off this.

Speaker 3

I h so on a more helpful note, I feel like like, thank.

Speaker 1

You having a more helpful note.

Speaker 3

Yeah, I'm trying so far.

Speaker 4

It has not been out the world right now, but Internet sucks and we're going to go into docade just kind of message this like we I feel like, you know, we used to review scientists a bit more in America, you know, and like when when I get I think what we need from scientists right now is like a hit single. What you said you need another like an equals mc square, Like we give us a give us.

Speaker 3

Something to be likes come around all the time. Well, you know that's what we need. We need something. Give us something, Give us something.

Speaker 1

Einstein was like two hundred years, three hundred years after Isaac Newton, and they're big, you know, big mental.

Speaker 3

So what we got two hundred and fifty years to the next. What's the what's what's the Give us something maybe I don't know. Give me the equation, something that we can hold on to as a society. Equation I want, like a hit.

Speaker 4

Single, Come on, give us the give us the club beat, give us the commercial. Something that sciences, you know, quantum mechanics, fit something, computers.

Speaker 1

All right, I'll boil it down to one word. Okay, maybe.

Speaker 3

I hated, maybe Einstein hated.

Speaker 1

Maybe I know what it may be every now and then because you don't know the answer, but you're hopeful for one that will satisfy not only you but the survival of the species.

Speaker 3

So maybe it is kind of depressing that that's not they hit single I was hoping for.

Speaker 1

There are people who are paying attention. I think.

Speaker 3

People.

Speaker 1

No, there's there's a few. There's a few out there.

Speaker 3

Name one person paying attention.

Speaker 1

Name. I feel like in the scientific institutions that we have National Institutes of Health, National Academy of Sciences. I get that. But leaders come and go. The scientists are there for their careers. Okay, in the end, they is who will triumph. I hope.

Speaker 3

So, I hope so.

Speaker 1

Laxative or something I.

Speaker 3

Actually do. Do you know the chemical formula relaxative?

Speaker 4

Okay, I'm gonna ask you a few questions on the internet right now and in the spirit of your book, and you can answer that. Here's a here's a friendly internet. Okay. Our first question comes from Twitter? Can win term? Can win? Turbines cause cancer? This is from President Trump?

Speaker 15

Okay, science, man, science?

Speaker 1

That would that would be no?

Speaker 3

Okay, you sure about that? Maybe it's that like a maybe, not just no. That's a no.

Speaker 1

You gotta get down that one. That's that's all equals and all the things you want to worry about. Cant sir, This should be last on that list, not even on the list at all, not on the.

Speaker 3

List at all.

Speaker 1

Okays correct? Okay.

Speaker 3

A second question is also comes from Twitter. Why can't we drink raw milk?

Speaker 4

This is from RFK incoming incoming president of health.

Speaker 1

Okay, has he ever seen microbes that could be thriving in raw milk under a microscope?

Speaker 3

Sky seen any this guy? Yeah?

Speaker 1

If you, if you, somebody should invite him to see what's going on there under a microscope. He might, he might feel different.

Speaker 3

So what you answer? Can you drink raw milk or not? Can we just unambiguously you can.

Speaker 1

Drink anything that's liquid, it's just whether you care.

Speaker 3

Don't you die?

Speaker 1

Then? Yes, you can drink anything.

Speaker 3

No, don't say that. This is on the watching Scott, don't say that. Don't you could drink bleach?

Speaker 1

You can drink any of that, you will die, Okay. I'm just saying, if you want to esophagus when you're done, don't drink beat bleach. Okay.

Speaker 3

I feel like we're going from chemistry to Darwinism right now.

Speaker 1

But there's the Darward you know what the darna.

Speaker 3

I do know what you I do know what it is. Yes, it's people who drink bleach.

Speaker 1

People something completely stupid that kills themselves before they have children. Yes, so that they're removed from the gene pool.

Speaker 3

Applaud that. Let's applaud that in all hands.

Speaker 1

For legal reasons, we can publicly.

Speaker 3

Okay, I got two more for you, for me more, okay.

Speaker 4

Is the pill that can reverse the effects of the COVID nineteen vaccine. This is from Nomini for FBI Director Cash Betel.

Speaker 1

Wow, a pill that will remove the effects.

Speaker 4

Reverse the effects of the COVID nineteen, reverse the vaccine.

Speaker 1

Like, why would why would you want to do that?

Speaker 3

Dude? Hey man, I'm just asking the merchant that you do that so that you can die from the virus. I gets.

Speaker 1

Look, this is a free country. If that's what they want to do, I don't know that we can stop them.

Speaker 3

But that pill is the answer to science.

Speaker 1

Okay, okay. If such a pill exists, I know.

Speaker 3

Nothing of it, so it might exist. It might exist.

Speaker 1

That's not what I said.

Speaker 3

That's kind of what I said.

Speaker 4

That's kind of what you said. Okay, last last, give me one more here, all right? Also from the internet. Can the government manipulate the weather with Jewish space lasers. This is from anonymous congress woman. This is more in your realm astrophysics. This is what are the physics of Jewish space lasers? That does like the style I focus the thing. Okay, the prism of.

Speaker 1

Uh, A laser will function as lasers do, no matter the religion of who invokes it.

Speaker 3

You know, the more the more you speak, the more is like you're more like a Buddhist dead master colon than scientists. Here.

Speaker 1

I'm just saying, when you turn on a laser the religion of the person, it doesn't matter, Okay, Okay. B To worry that a space laser could affect the weather while we are simultaneously pumping CO two into the atmosphere, possibly irreversibly changing the weather seems to me to be a completely misguided, misprioritized sense of the world.

Speaker 3

Okay, that's yo answer. No, the answer is no, no, no, just say that to the Yeah.

Speaker 4

No, okay, no, no, no, okay, Well look you can follow you can get his book.

Speaker 3

But really, I mean, what a treasure that we have alive around When doctor Tyson said educated us, hey, well for the universe is avail? Now, Doctor Neil Degrass heard said I gotta pick a quick Greg, I'll be right back after day.

Speaker 4

That's all show for tonight, but before we go, Today is Giving Tuesdays, so please consider donating to One Simple Wish, a charity that grants wishes to children in foster care. You can grant a wish or donate towards the Holiday Wish Fund. Please do so at the link below.

Speaker 3

Explore more shows from the Daily Show podcast universe by searching The Daily Show wherever you get your podcasts.

Speaker 1

Watch The Daily Show week nights at eleven ten Central on Comedy Central, and stream full episodes anytime on Paramount plus

Speaker 3

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