You're listening to Comedy Central. Wow from New York City, the only city in America. It's the shows and he new it's The Daily Show with your host Marlon Wayans. Welcome to the Daily Show. I am your host, Marlon Lands. I know you're asking yourself, how did I become the host? Well, they fund the wheel with all the Lands name on it, and it landed on me. That's like, as you know, my entire families in the business were like the Trumps, except my dad doesn't want to be my sister. All right,
let's get into headlines. It was a great weekend for comedy specials. I know my brother Chris Rock had his thing and I also had a new special come out, God Lovely, available right now on HBO Nax Brothers. You can't bootleg streaming, but you can't share passwords high But let's be real. The funniest comedy special last weekend was the Sea Pack, or as I like to call it,
Crazy White People. If you don't know about it, it's an annual event with all the Karen's and then husbands come together and they complain about the rest of us, the Karens and the Darns, and we watched it so you didn't have to. The Boden administration sucks. This can never be said at a Democrat gathering. Look at all the beautiful women here. Wokeness is a virus more dangerous than any pandemic, hands down. We will support baby boomers, and we will support the baby bonuses for a new
baby boom. How does that sound? That sounds pretty good. I want a baby boom. To use a strong couple of words, insane asylum. Insane asylum. That's where anybody sees silence of the lamb. That's where they come from. Check under your seats. If there happens to be a gold chocolate bar underneath there, that's a VIP. Oh, I'm not joking. That's a VIP ticket to my father's reception tomorrow at Seapack. What though, is with his fingers? Why does he have
hot dogs fingers from everything everywhere, all at once. It looks like ten limping dicks playing piano. I like how Donald Jr. Is always like Democrats are pedophiles. Anyway, if you come with me, I'll give you a chocolate. But you know what, I like to invite everyone here to look under their seats. Please go ahead and look under your seats. Look, does anyone see my AirPods? I've been looking all over for them. I hate those little tricky white bitches. The worst part about the stunt is that
Trump was leaving chocolate bars on the floor. You know who's gonna find that A rat? A rat is gonna show off and be like Donald. I got ideas, man bought the wall. We need a ball the maize and they get past that bam, sticky pads bitch. But it wasn't just Don Junior. All these people are wilding. Some of those guys were throwing shots too. It went from Seapoc to Tupac real quicker. They were like, first off, pronouncing the agenda, your claim and some of that ship
make no sense at all. Like Nicki Harley said, wokeness is more dangerous than a pandemic. I never had to miss two weeks of work because of wokeness. And I'm damn sure Herman Kane didn't die because he walked into a gender neutral bathroom. Now let's move on to sports. We all know the NBA stop calling players for carrying a long time ago, but apparently you can still get
in trouble for carrying a gun. Memphis Grizzly standout point guard John Morant is facing scrutiny after appearing to flash a gun in a video shared on his Instagram Live. The Grizzlies announcing the All Star will be sitting out at least two games as the NBA conducts an investigation of what he did live on Instagram. You've seen here showing off a gun at a nightclub hours after his
team lost Friday night. Morante has sense apologized, saying in a statement, I'm going to take some time away to get help and work on learning better methods of dealing with stress and my overall well being. I'm sorry, but that don't look stressed at all. Look at all the stress on this face. I've never seen somebody so stressed. It is a stressed How is that even an explanation? I pulled the gun out because I was stressed. So is that like an emotional support gun? Like? Who grabs
a gun because you're stress? You never heard a camera meal. I'm just saying, I think mental health issues have been too destigmatized. Even guys trying to add gangs, They're like, y'all, I'm gonna let you off because my therapist says, this misplaced angry. I need to go home and unpack these shit on me. I assume some accountability for the smiths fail, but also, what's up with the tiny gun? It's so tiny it looks like a gun that the sexy Russian lady pulls out in the Bond movie. He went to
the gun store and asked for pussy galore. I've never seen a man pull out a gun and be less threatening. We got beer. How you are your gun like this? The gangs in West Side Story were more threatening than that, and they were singing show tunes. And finally, let's move on to a lighter subject, slavery. Most people now agree that slavery was wrong, but apparently California is the only
one that feels bad about it. California will soon decide whether or not to give reparations to its black citizens. Right now, the California Task Force is meeting in Sacramento to assess how much each citizen might receive. One consideration is roughly three hundred sixty thousand per eligible residents. The task forces still working to determine what it believes reparations should involve, which could include cash payments, grants and tuition assistance.
There's only one thing that would stop our children from busting into these liquor stores and grocery stores, stealing jump food and still in different things, and that's reparations. There's only one query that would stop our kids from busting into these jury stores, still in watches and jury, and that's reparations. Darren, I agree with the monopoly man. We need to let black people pass go and collect two
hundred dollars. It's time for some free parking, damnit. I just love how he was getting more threatened than that he was talking. We need reparations otherwise we're gonna rob liquor stores and jewelry. Bitch. I stole this mother watch. You can see all the black folk behind them, like, oh, was this the best guy we could get to represent us. He looks so sophisticated with the little hat on, and you see in the watch. It was nice till I
found out he stole it. I don't know where they're getting the money from, but I know where they should get it from. Fruit of the loom. They're always saying that shit is one hundred percent cotton. Pay up, bitch, and they said every black person is gonna get three hundred and six the thousand dollars. What if you mixed, you only get half? So Zinn Dyer is only good for one hundred and eighty k So what does hit Hens get? Sucking your mama stick and put your granny breath.
That wiger gotta be worth at least twenty five grands from all these reparations. We go to roy Wood Junior. What's say, Yeah, I homie, what's cracking? What's cracking? Homie? Marl, I'm good to see you. What's set with side? Yeah? Why are you talking like that? That's how we always talk out here in Kylie in the Bay Area. You smell me west Side, then nas chicken and waffles, too short, serfs up, snowfall Franklin saying, you know what I'm saying,
matter of fact. Let me put all my authentic Kylie had see see boom see now I look like a homie. I look just like a homie. Here, Cally, I'm from college. Stop it, you're from Alabama. Stopped talking like that. You shot like chet Hanks shot He'll hate nass up and play along. Black people from all over about to start claiming California I'm trying to get mine first, mister black bull Rush, he's trying to get paid. You know, I won't say I'm surprised that out of all the states,
it is California that's proposing reparations. Oh, definitely, definitely. It is a big surprise. You know, you gotta give props to California, my home skate, for doing this. You know, they did it before Alabama, before Georgia, before South Carolina, and California was a free state. Most of the slaves in California was just people playing slaves in movies, Jamie Fox, LeVar Burgen, Sythy or Revo Alma Stott. You mean Jigman Hansu. His name ain't Almos Scott. I guess there's always black
history months. I'll learn something new. Roy. One reason why I know you're not from California is because you think three hundred and sixty grand can take you far. It may take you far in Alabama, but not LA. That's gonna dry up real quick after rent, gas and cocaine. Okay, okay, true, true,
you're right, you're right. So then how about this, How about this instead of splitting up the reparation money, you know, a months, all the black folks all right, into every black person into a reparation's lottery, and one person gets all the bunny Like. It's like powerball, but for slavery. You all do something. I like that black power ball, yes exactly. But a lottery, man, that's a dumb idea for reparation. You think it's done. You think a lottery
a bunch of black people, you think that's dune. You, of all people, should support a lottery mala statistically speaking to all talk, is that the winner gonna be a Wains. It's fifty eighty yard last our child. It's like seventy three Wains. You know what? Now, don't you put them like that? I liked this lottery idea, but aren't you gonna be mad if someone else gets all that money? No, I ain't tripping if another black person win the money. Whoever wins the Black lottery, I'm just gonna borrow the
money from him because he's my cousin. But you don't know who it is. It don't matter. Once they win the money, they're gonna be my cousin. Speaking of which, is it too late to become a Wins? All right? Roy Wains Junior every ward. I'm gonna give it up, give it up blood time once, but don't go away. Welcome back to the daily shelf my guests tonight is one of the stars of the Scream movie franchise. He's reprising his role as Chad in Scream six. Please welcome.
They say you do it the going for adadness all my good. I am jealous you. You are buffo stopping it's the girl and said, you hook me up with your dealer? When did you steal um Deadpool's Boddy. You got the Ra's hilarious, like you're about to fight the rock No. I um, it's funny. When I was a kid, I was a big fan of oreos at night time. So I gained a little weight pretty quickly. And my mom and dad rug, listen, if you want, we can kind of hook you up with something that'll keep you
able to defend yourself. So I took up boxing. Oh I thought they replace your steroids. Put some steroids and it's lucky charms. Um, congrats man. I hear great things about the movie. I hear you're heading for a record opening in the whole franchise. Goal brother getting money, money, so can you can you tell me anything about the movie, you know, anything that happens, any spoilers, anything that I could possibly put in scary movie six Well, that was the goal. I might might need to hook you up
from my personal game. I can tell you it takes place in the good city of New York. These moved now to college, so we're a little bit older, little wiser, hopefully, and we're trying to put what happened to us in the past. Since the fifth movie, sixth movie is now trying to up the anti making it more violent, more scary ideally, and then I think I'm shirtless of the movie. See how I just threw that in. Just think my out for half seeing it too. It's good to see
you because I know your father. Yeah, that's so crazy. Like I know in Cuba so long, like Cuba's good and Junior Amazing Academy Award when they're after I always said, you know, he's the only black guy that I know that gets white guy wasted when he when Cuba dranks you this here, he pulls his titties out. What's going on? But he's so much fun. I actually we was at an Oscar party and he's so funny. I walk out to him, I go, hey, what's up. He has a bucket of chicken. He just puts it on the top
of his head. I think I got a picture of him. That's out an oscar party. That's dad. That's Dad. It's something to look just taking his stride. And you know, if I tried to keep up with him and his persona, I'd fail absolutely everyone. So I took the option end of the route. I read books on Friday night. Its beautiful. Caught with my dog and I and then his own device. Well, you know, good luck with this man. Make that money so we can party. Thank you, thank you, Thank you.
Screen ticks, you'll be in deadness. Watch out. Okay, I want to take a quick break. Let me right back. Brothers, all right, that's our show for tonight. Explore more shows from The Daily Show podcast universe by searching The Daily Show wherever you get your podcasts. Watch The Daily Show weeknights at eleven tenth Central on Comedy Central and stream full episodes anytime on Fairmount Plus. This has been a Comedy Central podcast