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When a new story falls through the.
Cracks, Lewis Black catches it for a segment we call back in black.
Ah Summer when my balls glue themselves to my thigh and don't let go untill Labor Day.
And if you're a.
Kid, it means going to camp. Summer camp used to be about playing sports, making friends, and if you're lucky, finding a dead body. But for parents who think it's time for their five year old to start focusing on a career, there are a few camps just for them, like this one.
Chick fil A is getting some backlash over its new summer camp coming to Louisiana at the end of July. Kids will learn scales such as taking guest orders and backing food.
The franchises that are doing it only charge about thirty five dollars ages five to twelve, and kids learned the Chicken sandwich business.
Wow, did you hear that Chick flayans a summer camp. Tell me now kids are finally getting to learn the chicken sandwich business. You know, nothing says summer fun like third degree grease burns. And the beast part about Chick fil A Camp is it only costs thirty five dollars. What a bargain. I mean for thirty five dollars, you can't even find a babysitter on the terror watch list. Even Khalid Sheik Muhammad was forty dollars an hour and
he didn't even change diapers. But if that's still too steep a price tag, you can always bring them for free to the company who's basically raising them anyway.
Apple. For over twenty years now, Apple stores have hosted Apple Camp. This is where kids and their parents can get creative on the latest Apple devices.
This year's session focuses on using the iPad to create an interactive storybook.
They're creating animations. They're adding the ar shapes at three D shapes to ear photos where they place the three D shapes in the world around them.
Oh, thank god, just what our children need, more screen time. I hope they'll use these iPads on planes at full volume while I contemplate getting a second pisectomy. Better safe than sorry, I will say, these Apple camps seem way nicer than the ones in China. I mean, for starters, the kids get to leave. Oh stop it, seriously, wake up? How do you moan over there? Unbelievable? But maybe I'm judging too quickly. Who knows these camps could be fostering the storytellers of tomorrow.
I basically a donut as a vesl, but the ball always goes through his hole. So his friend helps him put like an in his full time so the ball doesn't go through.
This girl could write the next great animated film. But if you dare touch the opening weekend of Inside Up three, I'll sue the shit out of you. Follow your dreams, but stay away from Daddy's gravy train. But if the Friolator and ADHD don't do it for your child. There are some camps that teach actual.
Skills, which is off Fire Department gave young people the opportunity to experience what it's like to be a firefighter. It's hosting a kid's summer camp and the fun kicked off yesterday. This year's summer camp introduces them to the roles and responsibilities of the fire department. With up close and hands on experience campers ages eight to thirteen, we'll get a view of firefighting tasks like pulling hose, spraying water, forcible entry and rescue.
First of all, I don't think you need a camp to teach teen.
Boys how to pull hose. I mean they.
Tend to figure it out on their own. By the way, firefighter camp is just like police camp, but with more cardio and less framing people for murder. I admire these kids, but they better not show up when I burned down my Panama's City condo for the insurance money. Stay away from daddy's other gravy training your little life saving shits. But a firefighting camp sounds like too much fun. Don't worry, You've still got options.
At this summer campaign sounds middle schoolers take care of baby Tory a seventy five thousand dollars high fidelity simulator, and there's also so pick you.
Boyson, Do you want to dress a wound or build a bony?
Bay Care's Diane Roush Camp Nurse Junior at Duneden Sally L. Bailey Nursing Education Center is not your typical teenage summer fun. Here they're learning about patient care and broken bones and CPR and more. For Camilla and Ellie and dozens of others, this might be their future.
What the fucking is that supposed to be a baby? It looks like someone knocked up Megan. Somebody's sending that thing to the Supreme Court and we'll have abortion back in no time. But of course, there's also one very affordable summer program that parents are forgetting about ignoring your kids and letting them go off for three months, you know, watch TV, kickrocks, maybe even pull some hoes. That's how I spent my summers as a kid, and look how I turned out.
Welcome back to the Davis Show.
You know, as crazy as it might seen, there's still a lot of voters who aren't sure with it a vote for Donald Trum for Joe Biden, so we sent a special correspondent to interview some of them.
All right, welcome to our focused group of undecided voters. Thank you for coming to our marketing research offices. I want to stress that there is nobody masturbating behind this two way mirror, No matter what you hear. So as undecided, let's go around the room. Tell us your name and what yourking problem is.
We've never had worse choices. In my opinion, I.
Don't like either candidates, same as other people said.
I'm not really crazy about either candidates.
Okay, I see some of you feel you need more information about the candidates, and I get it.
We know so little about.
Trump and Biden apart from their campaign issues, their actions as president, their handling of the global pandemic, their criminal indictments whom they've showered with, and a very detailed description of Trump's penis from a former porn star. But we still don't know. Okay, if you're leaning towards Biden, please raise your hand. If you're leaning towards Biden, if you're leaning towards Trump, raise your hand. Okay, raise it at
the forty five degree angle. Please, little straighter, don't pend the elbow. That's good. It's a Hitler joke, you see, because you support fascist we're having fun. Okay, raise your hand. If you feel like voters are easily manipulated, who doesn't think so? Okay, now lower your hands. Okay, now raise them again. Okay, now lower them again, Raise them up one more time. Raise both hands, now lower one. Now, everyone say I cannot be manipulated. Which candidate would you
have a beer with? Which candidate would you go to a baseball game with?
Trump?
Which candidate would you let each sugar cubes out of your hand? Why? More gummy less likely to bite you? Which candidate would you want to be behind in a human centipede? And keep in mind, no matter what you answer, we will all think you're disgusting. Okay, this is tough, guys. I mean I sent you find yourselves undecided about a lot of things.
My problem is, I'm not sure which one's going to die first.
Thomas. I just have to ask, why are you struggling with this decision when you had no problem deciding to leave the barbershop with those side dates. Seriously, it's like my mom always used to say, ship or get off the lawn. It's your civic duty. Yes? Would you agree with that? Yes? I agree with what is your gut telling you? I mean, other than seatbelts do not come in my size?
I can't trust Biden or Trump?
Okay, I bet you. I like RFK RFK Junior interesting also known as the evidence that the candidates for each other. Okay, maybe this will help you, guys, decide between the candidates. Here are two sandwiches, all right. One is old and moldy and the other has chlamydia. Raise your hand if you're eating the sandwich on its deathbed, or raise your left hand if you want the sandwich that we have on tape using the N word. Okay, they're having their
first debate. Do you hope the moderators will ask Trump and Bind the really tough questions like do you know where you are? And can you breathe on this mirror? They're probably gonna call each other on stuff. Both sides are constantly saying this is the end of democracy. Both sides agree. So maybe instead of worrying about all this voting stuff, we should just decide on an escape plan. Does anyone have a bunker? Thomas, you look like you
already live underground? Will the other more people mind if we crash? It was time to switch tactics. Perhaps if they practiced making any kind of decision, it would prepare them for November. We've all been given cheesecake factory menus to share. Now take a look at them and make a choice. You can do this.
I'm crazy. I know what I usually get.
I usually get chickens a flaming out.
All right, you know what, forget it? Forget it. I knew that would work. At this stage. There was only one option left. Look, you guys have barely given me anything, so I'm just gonna tell you who you're voting for. Daryl, you're going to miss election day because there weren't any reminders on porn hub. Pauline, you want a safer, brighter future for your children, so you're gonna move to Ukraine. Thomas, I think you should just stay home. This is a big, one,
very important election. We need you to sit it out and mark. Whatever you decide, I recommend you listen to your heart, or at least let a medical professional listen to you. Thank you all for being here. We've learned a lot. We'll see you in four years when you can't decide between voting for AOC or Kyle Rittenhouse.
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