You're listening to Comedy Central from New York City, the only city in America. It's the shows that intended news. This he's the Daily Show with your host Leslie June. Why go to the Daddy Ring Show. I'm Latilie Jones. That's right there. Let me come back for another night.
So that's got all right? Um, you guys are on TikTok, right, Well, I got bad news because if you're on TikTok, you gotta drop out of college because universities across the country are banning TikTok from school WiFi because they're words that China might be spying on them. Yeah, and you know what, good get these kids off TikTok. I'm tired of seeing Little Ashley's amazing hat for how to flip grilled cheese in a pan. You don't think I know how to
flip a pan, bitch, or make grilled cheese. I've been flipping pans and making grilled cheese since before you were ball, So don't talk to me like I'm stupid. You're a stupid, stupid twenty four year old. What you're doing and skin you have no us? Okay, well, okay, I think I got off subject. I'm sorry. Next up, the t s A announced that they seized record numbers of guns at airports checkpoints last year. And let me tell you something, if I'm bringing a gun through checkpoint, you ain't taking
it from me because I got a gun. But honestly, I think this makes it more interesting for T s A people because you know, they get bored and they're probably happy when they actually find a gun. You know, del though, del doo, del doo to del doos. Oh father, that done, Dad, and get the deal go too. I think he has deal the who you are? Nasty terrorist? Who?
Moving on? Y'all know who George Santos is right with his creepy ash if y'all don't know who he is, He's the new Republican congressman who found who we found out lied about his entire life. He made up a whole career as a businessman. He made up that his family was Jewish and his mom was a victim of nine eleven? Ill, Ill, do you know how much you have to lie to be known as the lying congressman? Do is lie all day? But when you ask them who is the liar, they're like this guy, Wait, till
you hear about this ship. He did. Representative George Santos is allegedly so on three thousand dollars and donations from a disabled, homeless veterans dying service dog. Santos allegedly used an alias to calm the veteran and set up a go fund Me page that would be deleted as soon as it hit its goal, and then Santos disappeared altogether exactly. So, so you're telling me this man didn't steal three thousand dollars from a dog. He didn't just steal from a
service dog. He didn't just steal from a dying service dog. He stole from a disabled, homeless veterans dying service dog. Oh god, you evil and stupid. You're gonna mess with somebody's dog. Have you not heard of John Wick? Your ass is in trouble. Truble mess with no vetchans dog. You're know's so crazy. This guy is so evil. I wonder if they put him in there on purpose so I can't pay attention to the other evil people. Anybody got me eyes on? Marjorie Taylor Green? What's up with
that bitch? What is that bitch up too? She broughably got Garfield tied up in her office. I'm serious, Like, what does this man have to do to get thrown out of Congress? He's a liar. Black people don't get believed when they actually tell the truth. But Barack Obama was like, hey, I was born in American. People were like, little ship, where's a birth certificate? And this guy was like, I was a millionaire Jewish volleyball star, and y'all like,
hell yeah. I put him the Congress sick of y'all ship. And finally, I don't know if y'all been um eating breakfast lately, but breakfast is in trouble son. The latest economic number show inflation is slowing down, but not for people who buy eggs. The average price for a dozen of eggs has more than doubled over the past year. Shortages around the country are hurting producers and putting more stress on consumers and businesses. Why is there a shortage
right now? What's going on? Well, I'm sure you heard there is a bird flu in the Midwest. At egg Tuck, a breakfast bot in Los Angeles that goes through up to six thousand eggs a week, costs have quadruple and they're feeling it. All of our forces are made with eggs. Mean, while the line of cars is about thirty minutes long at Billy's egg farm in southern California and workers are scrambling to meat demand what wait, which, why you buying
so many eggs? But yeah, there's an egg shortage right now because a ton of chickens got bird flute, which is which isn't surprising, you know, because chickens are freaky little disgusting creatures. And god how I love to eat what they shipped out. They bird pussy early in the morning. I got the same pussy's going rub it. But that's a serious Now, this is serious because people need eggs so badly. I think the chickens are gonna start getting
real cocky. What's up, bitch? You want these eggs? What you're gonna do for me? I'm gonna tell you what I want. I want a new barn. I want to assist it. I want to fly business class and an extra large flat sink screen and a PS five and one more thing sell sally to Popeye's Bye bitch. Alright, alright, for more on this eggs story, Let's now go to a man who deserves to be knee deep in chicken ship. Y'all give it up from Michael Costa. Okay, yeah, Hi Lee,
it's it's great to see you again. No it ain't, okay, I see, just so everybody knows. Leslie and I have a bit of history. But don't worry, we're gonna be totally professional. I ain't about to be ship. I ain't. Don't be professional, and not that you should have been professional when you was dating my home girl. Okay, okay, Leslie, Leslie, love is complicated and I'd rather not share the details of such a private matter. Okay, But ultimately, relationships do end.
So now the eggs, don't try to weasel yourself out of this. I don't do that, Leslie. I don't know what she told you, but but she cheated on me three times. Oh and that's the reason not to call her back, not chicken ship. Okay, okay, all right, okay, So now the egg shortage, it's actually the result of the Avian bird flu, and that I don't give up about that. What you did was wrong, Costa, Leslie, you don't know this, but she gave me lamydia. Yeah, I
do know that, and people have done worse Costa. It's terrible. Okay, just get you some penicina plus the ship that gets rid of that ship, move with the wrong man. Don't think ghost in my girl. That ain't cool. Okay, let's let's just talk about the eggs. Okay, because, as I was saying, the shortage is severe. But if you look closely, you'll find that it's not all it's cracked up to be. You so in corny Costa. You know she was gonna break up with you because you're a corny mother, you
know that, right. Look, Look, I'm trying to be a good sport here. I came all the way out here to this farm that you sent me to. I got feathers all over my suit. It stinks, you know what. You know what I tell you what stinks. My girl had to go to therapy after you. Yeah, because she has multiple personality disorder. Yeah, that's what we loved about her. She's like ten friends and one be a man and ten bitches. Okay, I handled it the best I could. I don't know why you care about this so much.
Why don't we talk about it off air? If you're so upset, can we just focus on the news. Yeah, I'm talking to his ass right, looking at those lying eyes of him. He ain't ship. Do you know what? That's right, I'm gonna bring that up. I'm bring that up. Okay, hold on, you know what Costa? You know what? You didn't even visit her in the lock up after she stabbed Joe ass. That's the doctor, Leslie for the last time. You know what do you want from me? I want
you to say you sorry. I want you to apologize to my own girl. All right, Okay, m Leslie, from the bottom of my heart, you ain't got no Darren when you hear that ship and I hope for chicken ships in your shoes, y'all give it up for Michael Costa. All right? When we come back, Roy Would Junior visits the White House, so don't go away? What the doctor the gal show. Have you ever wonder what happens when a championship team visits the White House? Well, so did
Roy Wood Jr. Let's go check it out. In American Pro Sports, if your team wins the championship, you get to go to the White House, enjoy a five star meal, and hand the President of Jersey he will never wear. I got to attend this year's event with the Golden State Warriors to celebrate their NBA championship, something they didn't get to do the last two times they won. Let me just say that the Golden State Warriors are always welcome in this White House. To find out why, I
asked a man himself, how you doing, Mr President? Now? Quick question, Mr President? The Warriors won in and team why didn't they come to the White House those other two times? Well you have to ask the other guy, but he didn't work here anymore news new rules? All right, Well, thank you, Mry Solve. Time to talk some basketball players. Why are athletes invited to the White House? Sports in general brings like so many people together. I think basketball especially,
like we're very visible and whatnot. So when you win a championship, you get invited here. We all can leverage our platform to to you know, change the game in a way that will be bigger than basketball. And I think this is a great moment to reflect on all of that. Do you think it's fair that only the Warriors were invited and not the other twenty nine teams that y'all will hell about inclusion? Everybody was included in
the two games, But that's where the inclusion stops. Do you think events like this where teams invited to the White House create opportunities for conversation about real issues, they actually do. I I actually took part in a panel before our ceremony with the President and the Vice President on gun safety and gun violence issues. We get to you know, we go see the President, see the White House, but also actually kind of take part in some some
real discussions. What is one rule that you would have the President change in the NBA? One route, no text, That's an easy one for me. No technical files, you can't go. No taxs, No you can't three takes. No why why? Three? Three food takes. It's a person decided that you deserve a tech because they didn't like something you did. Right, better crib your crib or the White House? My crib. I like my crib. Better crib, got a kitchen I got access to. I only know where they're
going to keep the food at the people? Where are what I'm saying? The Biden Harris administration understands the challenge that higher education has been so many people across the country. So forty million people are eligible. Uh. In our opinion for debt relief We're working on loan forgiveness. We've forgiven over forty eight billion dollars with a B to make sure that people have access to higher education. We're not stopping Secretary of Education. You know the people that be forgiven,
the loaners. Okay, okay, can you take care of my student? I guess players showing up to the White House does help draw attention to the important issues, But how are we going to elevate these cabinet members to sports? Started Royal vir Junior Daily Show. When championship teams visit the White House, the president gets a jersey, but no one else. Are you jealous? No, I'm not jealous. Of course the president gets a jersey. I made you a jersey for you.
That's something. Where'd you get it from? Oh my cousin stole it? Well, thank you. I appreciate it. Roy They loved my jersey idea. You know, I have an eight year old can do that too. So I gave out some more, then started hooping with some Oakland Rappers. Man, I need to come back next year as a player. I used to play directly. If you need another to gods, just let me know. Yeah, do you have a card?
Or I'll just call you media. Now I'm gonna call thank you all right, stay too, because before we come back, I'll be talking to the president of So don't go. What do the daily ship every year more than six hundred Grandparenthood Health Centers national? Why provide health care services to millions of patients? My guest tonight is the president and the CEO of the Planned Parenthood Please welcome, Alexis McGill, John Side. I'm so glad they saw how good you look.
They think all of us look crazy. They wanted to be fighting for you know, let me tell you how important, how important planned Parenthood is to me. It's just one of the most important things in my life. Um, you know, I have my parents in seventeen eight times have my mom and planned Parenthood taught me everything. And that's real talk. And I'm pretty sure that you guys have done that
for a lot of girls. So if you listen to the people on the right, they think that Planned Parenthood is an abortion factory, like you know, that's like back to back abortions and what a side of fries? You know what I'm saying. What I want to get clear here today is what are the actual services of planned Parenthood. Well, thank you Leslie for asking me that question, and thank you for sharing how important plan Parenthood has been for you, because that has been the story for so many people
in their lives. Plan Parenthood really represents reproductive freedom. We sell freedom and agency. It means that when you walk into a plan parent at health center, you may be coming for birth control, STI testing, cervical cancer screenings, breast cancer screenings, gender affirming care, and yes, we proudly provide abortion because that is also part of healthcare. That is abortion.
We care. That's what we do. That's what I'm talking about. Yes, And I don't say I don't think people realize that men can go to Planned Parenthood for services too, and they should. I think when men here Parenthood they just start running. Tell me the services that you provide for people with penises. Yes, men are like one of the facets growing demographics that Planned Parenthood. They come for the
same set of services. They come to get access to condoms, they come to get access to st I screenings, They come from vasectomies increasingly after the job's decision, right, they are coming in Okay, I don't know, I mean, I mean maybe we need to market it, you know what I'm saying, Maybe we need to have a better market like we treat the meat. You know. Yeah, you know what I'm saying, playing parenthood plan, parents of presents, the dick fixers, you know what I'm saying, We do that too.
But but like, do you think men are embarrassed about what they need to come in for? Because let me tell you something, man, it's important that men get checked out. The sexual health affects their wives, partners and girlfriends too. Roe Versus Wade was overturing sex months seven months ago, and it's important for men to come in also tell them please, how important is Yeah? It is so critical. I mean, first of all, stigma around sexual reproductive health
care effects everybody. So it does affect man. They may not talk about it, but they're certainly coming to play parenthood to get it checked out, right. I mean, you know, they see something, they need to say something, they need to come in and make sure something. But the airp affective.
But they are really being affected by the stops decision, right because you know, I mean on the other side of every single abortion, every choice that someone makes to to not continue a pregnancy, we are also seeing the impact on miscarriage management. We're also seeing the impact on their wives, on their daughters and their sisters, on their workers, on their coworkers, and so men, I would say, actually
are showing up in a much stronger way. There's a lot of them out there freestyling because they still don't know how our bodies work, how our periods work, how our pregnancies work. But there are a lot of men who are showing up, and I think it is really important to give them the energy to to continue to do that. Yes, yes, how how do we how do we how do we combat that, like this thing about our rights and everything? How we keep how we keep
things well? I mean, first of all, I mean we have to be clear that the Supreme Court made a decision, but the Supreme Court doesn't get the last word. We do, yes, And they are going to need to fight state by state because they are coming for birth control, they are coming for IVF, they are coming. They're trying to they're literally trying to bankrupt bankrupt us in Texas, right Planned Parenthood in Texas. They are trying everything they can to
stop people from getting access to care. But what we have in you know people like you are just you know, passionate about freedom, passionate about justice. UM is an opportunity to really be a leader and a volunteer. Oh now, you know you shouldn't give me no damn bullhorn. I'm gonna be out there on the streets going hey women, Hey women, are you leaking? Come to plan Parenthood so we can do some peaking, you know. Hey, guys, come in quick so we can tax your Yeah, yeah right,
we're gonna take a quick right back outcome day. Yeah yeah, yes, yes, well that dot show for tonight. But before we go, Planned Parenthood is an irreplaceable part of this country's health care system. For many people, it's their only source of health care. If you can support them in their work, please donate at the link below. This has been a Comedy Central podcast