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I'm George Cleplan. We got so much to talk about tonight, Kavo, Let's packaheat trumps sleeping in the buff and I get to yell at Ronnie Chang. But first let's get into it with another installment of Indecision four. All right, we are just twenty six days away from the election. That's less than one menstrual cycle. According to the period app jadie Vance is secretly tracking you with so less than
a month ago. Both campaigns are going all out, starting with Democratic nominee Kamala Harris, who has been everywhere recently, news shows, daytime talk shows, satellite radio podcasts. Your kid's piano recital she applauded. But seriously, chopsticks, I mean, you could do better, Arlow. And this media blitz is not a moment too soon, because voters are looking for change and Kamala needs to articulate why she's the candidate of change.
She's had plenty of time to think about it, so Let's see your answer.
If anything, would you have done something differently than President Biden during the past four years.
There is not a thing that comes to mind. Not a thing is coming into your mind. You really are continuing the Biden legacy. Come on, come on, madam VP. This is an opportunity to differentiate yourself from an unpopular administration. Surely you would do something different. Listen, I plan on having a Republican in my cabinet. You got a this, yeah, right? You ask me what's the difference between Joe Biden and me? Well,
that will be one of the differences. I'm going to have a Republican in my Cappany, Okay, everything Joe Biden did plus Republicans, sneaky move, you know, appealing to Republicans by promising to do a diversity higher you know, which they famously love that. Now that she said that, I'm sure she's set she won't go too far, and trying to appeal to conservatives.
I have a clock.
Okay, okay, easy, man of Vice President. I have a family. Okay. You know, I guess in these times you do have to reach out to people who wouldn't be your natural allies. And obviously she gets that you have my soul, you have my.
I have a clock.
That was very dumb. But as Kamalo reaches out to Republicans, her Republican opponent, Donald Trump has been sitting down for podcast interviews, which are great because there's more of a free wheeling conversation there that allows him to really dig deep into the issues. You're very pokahonts.
What about?
And there is tampon. Tim was good what about? It's hard to say, yeah, the lords. It's a mouthful, but when you put the names together, it's a little to be able to pume, you know.
You know.
It's nice to see how reflective Trump is becoming his old age, looking back on everything. I wonder did tamp and Tim having a pu po. Meanwhile, the Trump campaign has brought out a very special surrogate, Milania Trump, former first Lady and the only Slovenian you can name off the top of your head. Well, we don't see a lot of Milania, but she's also been on a media tour this week Fox News Social Media, your kid's piano recital, Arlo,
You are not to be best now. Obviously she's out there because she's a supportive wife who believes in her husband's America First, I'm faring with you. She has a book to sell. You know, people make a lot of jokes about this marriage, but when I look at their shared love of exploiting our political system to sell shit for personal profit, I just see two soulmates. We actually have a copy here. Yeah, this is it. This is her book. I want to read you a quick passage,
just to give you a feel for it. This is real, Page seventy eight from right after he won the twenty sixteen election. As Donnell prepared to go down to his office on Wednesday morning, he and I had a private moment. Congratulations. I said, what an achievement. All those other people and you won. You're the president of the United States of America and you're the first lady. He said, good luck, I got a wife book. Wait a tear on that one.
That is a heartwarming moment that definitely wasn't created by chat GPT. Turns out writing is hard when you don't have Michelle Obama to Plagiariyes from It's very difficult, very difficult. And yesterday Melania paid a visit to her husband's other true love, Fox News, where she revealed an interesting personal tidbit about her husband. Would you have married Donald Trump if you had a crystal ball that said he would be president? Huh? That's a By the way, does he
ever sleep? He doesn't sleep much? He does, of course. Does he wear pajamas? No? Yes? What does he wear when he see the things? What are the things? No pajamas?
Huh.
That's a steamy image. And just imagine that scene, Trump under the covers, dressed only in his long red tie. Belania says you are naked in bed, and he says, and you are the first lady, good luck. Wow. Wow. Pretty sexy stuff. But maybe hearing about Donald Trump's bedtime routine from Malania doesn't get your engines reaving. Fortunately, the campaign also brought out someone for the ladies.
Former senior advisor to President Trump, Stephen Miller, is here. We're getting a lot of texts from women about Miller and his appearances and his appearance. Our audience at primetime believes you're some sort of sexual matador.
Woo, Steven Miller is a sexual matador? Is that because he's literally a walking red flag fox. I gotta say I'm worried about you. You already had to pay seven hundred and eighty million dollars for lying to your audience. But this could be the one that bankrupts you. I mean, come on, I mean, I do believe Stephen Miller is a real lady killer, but more so in a check the basement away. You know what, I'll bite What does make Stephen Miller such catnip for the females.
If you're a young man who's looking to impress ladies, the best thing you can do is to wear your Trump support on your sleeve. Show that you are a real man, Show that you are not a better.
He's so healthy he doesn't even know how to say Beta Wow. Do you hear that? Do you hear that? That sound you just heard was thousands of Southern borders instantly shutting down. I'm talking about you know what I'm You know what I'm.
You got a.
Don't you think? But do you hear that? Man? Do you listen to Stephen Miller? Don't be a beta CUK and vote for Kamala Harris. Come out to this sweet rally where a guy double jerks to the YMCA. You know, now, apparently it does get people going. Now, maybe maybe you're thinking, Jordan, you started the show talking about the election, and now it seems to be a lot of sex stuff. Well, first of all, Mom, I've tried to explain how the show works many times. But also sexuality is a campaign
issue this year. Project twenty twenty five calls for banning pornography, and some other big news from the last few days is that the porn industry is making their own campaign ads against it.
They have started a hands Off My Porn campaign, which includes video ads that role before the porn does on adult video providing websites.
I'm Holly Randall and I've been working in the adel industry for over twenty five years. I need to address the threat of Project twenty twenty five.
Yes, my favorite porn category informational ps say, but I'll just go snicker in ooh pornography. This is an issue of personal freedom and these are the people who can speak to it most directly. So let's hear more of these ads before you.
Get swept up believing that porn is misogynistic. Maybe actually talk to the people who work in it. I don't see you guys out there crying about how men are exploited in porn. Have you seen those ball crushing videos not my thing, but again that's a choice made by consenting adults.
I will say it's strangely comforting to know that there are things on the Internet that even porn stars look at and go, man, what the fuck? Yes me though. The big problem with these ads is that they're running them before the porn video starts. You really should run them after the porn videos, when there's clarity of minds.
That's when I write my holiday cards. Frankly, if you want to be truly effective, all you need to do is just show people what porn would look like under Project twenty twenty five.
Yeah, I think she wants you.
She is partcore. We are in a shocking situation. When we come back, we'll fight about sports.
Don't go away, look back for them.
It's with the elections dominated the news cycle, let's take a break from politics to cover the one thing that really affects your life sports. For full recap of the biggest stories in the world of jocks and straps, we turned to Sports War Brandy. It's time for brought to you by Gambly Stambly. It's literally free money. What's up, Moron's I'm Ryan Chance, Jordan Klapper. This is Sports War, the show where we are legally not allowed to agree with each other.
So if I say we need stronger helmets and football to prevent concussions, I.
Say that we were bored with a helmet. It's called a skull. Well, lucky for us, Geors is empty. It's October, but one month where practically every.
League is going out of it like some kind of sports gang bang.
That's right, there's more balls flying around than that time Ronnie wore his Daisy Dukes to the office. Well, that's on you for looking. And nowhere is the sports gangpang hotterant right now than here in New York, between the Liberty, the Mets, the Yankees, the next This city could only be happier if Ronnie announced he was leaving it.
Well, if I ever leave this because your mom is getting too clinging.
Nice one, Ronnie, I hope you get circumcised in sleep. Well, many and New York sports fans are celebrating, and there's one team showing us that Boeing ain't the only one with imploding Jets.
Now to breaking news in sports, the Jets have fired their head coach Robert Salad just five games into the season, a move that comes two days after they just lost in London in disappointing fashion.
There is rampant speculation that Aaron Rodgers is behind the firing of Salah jay E tes Suck, Suck, suck, Oh man, what a terrible move by the Jets coach. Sala wasn't the problem. It's clearly Aaron Rodgers. That's like me firing the camera guy for the stupid shit that comes out of Ronning's mouth.
Yeah, well, your mouth looks like a fist vagina and you could be more wronged. Okay, firing Solah is exactly what the Jets need. For fifty five years they sucked with a coach. Hey, maybe it's time to play without one. Just one season raw dogging it without a coach, and hey, maybe the Jets will win the Super Bowl.
The only they getting raw dog is your brain. You can't let a bunch of NFL players coach themselves. They need Google Maps just to get out of the huddle. But we all know there's only one, maybe two people crazy enough to take a job coaching the Jets, which brings us to our Jordan Klepper locked and Loaded triple VIP better than nights, which Menendez brother will be the next coach off the Jets? As always brought to you by Gambling. Gambling. If you think you have a problem, stop thinking.
Moving on from an upset man to the upset of the year.
Next, a once in a lifetime upset in college football. Vanderbilt beat number one Alabama on Saturday, forty to thirty five. Vanderbilt students were so excited they tore down one of the goalposts and carried it a couple miles into downtown Nashville. Then they tossed it into the Cumberland River.
Okay, okay, okay, raid it in, you private school nerds. It is exciting, but show a little class. You don't gloat in front of the other teams fans. You bully them online like a normal person.
Okay, Jordan, I know you're not used to winning, but this is what it looks like. Okay, you're just mad they threw the goalposts in the river because you empathize with long, skinny, useless things, which brings us to Rodney Chang show win VVIP better than night? Which river will we dumb Jordan in after tonight's show, As always brought to you by gambling, gambling, your wife can't leave you if.
You win, And finally moving on to a more somber story as we honor the passing of one of America's greatest heroes.
Pete Rose, major League Baseball's all time hits leader, who was famously banned from the sport for gambling, has died.
Rose was famously banned from the Baseball Hall of Fame for gambling allegations. He denied those allegations for years before eventually admitting that he did that on baseball, both as a player.
And as a manager, all while he lobbied to be considered for the Hall of Fame, his lifelong wish never granted.
Now, I don't want to discount what Jackie Robinson did, but what Pete Rose accomplished was a billion times more important. He's a legend in two of America's pastimes, gambling as a player and gambling as a coach. Pete Rose definitely belongs in the Baseball Hall of Fame.
Jordan, have you been hitting your oldblong head by another pitch? Okay, Pete Rose doesn't belong in the Baseball Hall of Fame. A huer like him belongs in every hall of Fame, Baseball, basketball, rock and roll, hip hop, automotive. Bobby's put his name on a Vietnam memorial everywhere. Yo, they should hang his bookie's phone number from the rafters.
Boy, Ronnie, I really wish God took you instead of Pete Rose, which brings us to my Jordan's champagne room boom bed of the Knights. What will Pete Rose gamble on? First in Heaven as always brought to you by gambling. Gambling when it stopped being fun is when it gets good.
All right, And that's all the stories this week. Join us next time on Sports War, we'll.
Debate if it counts as cheating on your wife if you do it with a tackling dummy. Well obviously not way would we agree on this one?
Wait, no, we can't.
Welcome back to the Daily Show. My guest today is an award winning writer and activist whose new book is called Abortion, Our Bodies, Their Lies, and the Truth We Used to Win. Please welcome Jessica Valenti.
Thanks, really nice.
Not a shabby way, not too shabby way.
I'll take it.
This book, this book is it's fantastic. I feel like you articulate at the top. And also I should say this, you just got word. This is a New York Times bestseller baby right, number one, no number not number one, not number one, not number.
One, but a best seller right by the skin of our teeth. But I'll take it.
Oh, you take it. This grew out of a newsletter you were writing called Abortion every Day. Yeah, why did you feel the need to start a newsletter abortion every Day?
I mean, I probably should have called it abortion every Hour because that's how often the news is coming out breaking about abortion. The attacks are just so unrelenting, their NonStop, and I think I just wanted to provide a little bit of order to the chaos, to help people understand what was going on, and sort of same thing with the book, give them the information, context language that they need to talk about this issue because people really do
care so much. People are so pissed off about abortion bans, they're so upset, but they're also so overwhelmed. Right, It's just so much to be happening, and so I wanted to create something that people could really use in a useful way and also channel a little bit of anger.
Yeah, it feels like this book is there to provide clarity for people who want to engage in the conversation but perhaps don't know how. Yeah, absolutely post dobs. For the people who who maybe I don't want to say
tuned out, post dobs. But I think for a lot of people, if you're not paying close attention to the news each days or what's happening on a state level, perhaps even if you live in a blue state, after dobbs, even if you care about the abortion issue, it seems as if your head jumps to federal abortion ban, that is that the new next battle. What are people missing if they're not paying attention to what's happening in some of these other states.
That's a great question. I'm still very state focused right because it's such a crisis on the ground in these states.
You're talking about places where obgins are leaving by the bus load, places like Idaho of plus twenty five percent their opgi n's, and as we've seen with horror story after horror story, hospitals are not treating patients right like it is not a normal state of affairs when we're letting miscarrying, bleeding women go home, when we're sending them home, and so I think we need to be paying attention
to what is happening on the ground. But yes, certainly with the election coming up, I'm very, very worried about the possibility of a national ban or even anything Trump could do outside of a national band to make abortion harder to get, like the Comstock Act replacing the head of the FDA to make abortion medication illegal.
Do you no, I know there's been some softening in the discussion on the conservative side. When you hear JD. Van softening on that issue, how much do you believe him on a scale from zero to get there?
Yeah, it's definitely at the out of here.
No, I mean it's true.
No, he's totally full of it, right, And the softening is all a pr move right like it's all. And this is why I wrote the book, because they're using this language to make it appear as if they are more moderate than they actually are on abortion, using terms like minimum national standard. I don't support a ban, I support a minimum national standard. Those are the same exact thing, right, And so it's just a bunch of nonsense. We've seen the same thing with Trump. But we know what would
happen if Trump was elected. We know that the suffering that we've already seen in so many states across the country would just get exponentially worse.
It's curious to you you talk about sort of the battle over language, which we've seen go way back, whether it's pro choice, pro life, but you kind of get into the nitty gritty about like Nikki Haley talking about consensus, talking about what late term abortions mean for folks who aren't paying attention. Why is that so important? And how do you see that getting morphed and shifted right now?
Sure, I mean this is how they trick voters, right, So they use words like I don't want to ban I want consensus legislation. We're not banning abortion. We're giving it back to the will of the people. We're giving it back to the states because this is something voters feel so strongly about. Eighty one percent of voters do not want government involvement in abortion at all. They don't
want it regulated by the law. They are working really hard to use language that makes it sound as if voters are with them, right, They're trying to do this very clever pivot and with something like late abortion, which is not a real medical term. They're constantly moving the goalposts for what late abortion means. So when you hear someone like Nikki Haley say I'm against late abortion, ask for how many weeks that is, because right now I've
been tracking the anti abortion movement right now. To them, that's twelve weeks. So when they say I support consensus legislation for late term abortion, they're saying I support a national ban at twelve weeks. That's how you have to sort of decode the language what I go out.
So I go out to Trump rallies a lot. Yeah, but I will talk to people in the MAGA movement sometimes about abortion, and this book would be very helpful for some of that. I find what I run into a lot. How do you engage with people who come from a religious perspective or at least use that as the card in which they will not engage with that?
Do you how legitimate is that argument? And or are you wasting your time having these conversations with people who put up abortion underneath underneath their religious beliefs.
And it's not a prigeb I mean, I feel really strongly that you shouldn't waste your activist energy. It's a precious resource, right you shouldn't be talking to brick walls. But we all care about someone who is conservative religious, you feel like you want to change their mind. I think pointing out that there are so many people who are religious who still understand that their personal and religious beliefs shouldn't dictate what other people do with their bodies.
I do think that that is something that works. But I also really think that it can be a distraction, this idea that we need to go out and change hearts and minds. Because American voters are with us Americans when it comes to voters, they know they want abortion legal, period. This is true in Red States, this.
Is true across the country. It really is.
And when we get dragged into this idea that we need to go out and take that activist energy and waste it on trying to change someone's mind who's never going to change their mind, that's a real issue. At the end of the day, this is a problem of a small group of extremist legislators imposing their will on the vast majority of voters. And so I think of it not as changing people's minds. It's a democracy issue. It's making sure people can vote, it's making sure that
we don't have voter intimidation. That is the stuff that I'm really most focused on.
So when you look at the energy energy best use. Yeah, in that fight, it's not in those conversations necessarily, it's aimed at local legislators. It's aimed at getting people out to vote.
Yeah.
Absolutely. I mean if you look at right now, abortion is on the ballot in ten states, and in every single state where abortion is on the ballot, Republicans have worked over time to make it impossible for voters to have a say because they know that when voters have a rex say on abortion rights, abortion rights wins. Right. Just this week in Florida, I wrote about Governor Ronda Santis.
His administration is threatening television stations with criminal charges if they run ads for amendment for which is the pro choice amendment down in Florida. They will do anything they can to stop voters from knowing the truth about these laws and from getting to the polls.
Wow. Yeah, and Mickey Mouse too, they're not against that. Why are you go to Florida anymore? For God's sad? When you when you when you look at this and see the legislators who are behind this, perhaps the Desciantis, but even more on the local level. Sure, how much of this do you do you see as as right wing legislators who are using this as a way to gain power within their party, perhaps not true believers, but
sure using as form of manipulation. And how much of this you talk about legislators who are doing this to exert control over women's bodies in some dark terms, when you look overall at that, how much of it is just a blame moved to be in a position of power. How much of it is exerting power of a woman's body. I think it's both.
I wrote a column once called the worst guy you know, Like, think about the biggest asshole from high school, right, the guy who is like devil's advocate, always had something to say. That's who the prosecutor is. Now, that's who the local legislator is. Now, that's who the sheriff is who are bringing forward these cases. So when you look at the people who are really enforcing these laws on a local and state level, they're the worst guy you know. They're
the worst kind of person you can possibly imagine. That said, I do think that there are a lot of politicians who don't really care. They don't care. It's just about the power to them. Something that happened in Tennessee right after rose O returned, I think is a really good example where Republicans saw that people were really upset about abortion bands, and in Tennessee at the time, they didn't have an exception for women's lives. There was no exception.
Doctors had to break the law in order to save someone's life with an abortion and then explain why it was okay that they broke the law, and Republicans said, well, maybe we should get an exception on the books. They were so under the thumb of local pro life groups, of big groups like Susan b Anthony, Pro Life America. These groups were lobbying them not to have an exception
for women's lives. So they very very much are listening to sort of these other forces, and so it sort of doesn't matter what they think if they're just going to do what these groups say.
Anyway. I mean, where if in dark times we have some of the worst guy you know from high school? Yeah, what is the best guy you know from high school doing right now? Oh? I love that question.
Probably making phone calls to get bus tickets for people to get out of Florida to no really to get an abortion out of state. I think one of the most amazing things about doing this work over the last two plus years has been seeing the way that people have come together on this issue to make sure that people can get the care that they need no matter what. There are so many folks like abortion Funds on the ground which are in the middle of a funding and
could really use your help. There are so many people who are doing the hard work of ensuring that people can get those abortions. That is what brings me just a tremendous amount of hope and positivity for the future.
Well, it's a it's a great book and if you're you're tentative about getting in the conversation, this book will be the foot of the door. Thanks you. Book Abortion is available. Now let's go all Entoi. You're gonna take a quick right, good back. That's those show for tonight, Dire It is a moment of zen Ana from Lakeland, Florida. You should have angry Stephen Miller on your show more often. He looks very sexy when he's angry.
Oh a lot and bothered over here by Miller.
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