Jon Stewart Unpacks the GOP's "Migrant Crime" Narrative | Jonathan Blitzer

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I got a hall of a show for it tonight.

I'm gonna try this one.

First and foremost wanted to thank everybody for such kind words about my dog, Nipper. It truly meant a lot to me and I took great comfort in it. But before we do anything, breaking news.

CNN Breaking News.

We begin with the breaking news this morning, the United States Supreme Court ruling that former President Donald Trump cannot be removed from any state's ballot for his actions on January sixth.

I think the real breaking news here, Oh pipe down. They know better than the Supreme Court. In all my years of law school, I couldn't believe the arguments. I think the real breaking news here is Wolf Blitzer and I appear to be merging.

We are becoming one blitz U.

By the way, the Supreme Court nine to nothing. The ruling was let Donnie cook, So let that be really, Let that be a lesson to all you out there who might be thinking about subverting the Constitution in a presidential election. A you go boy for more in the Supreme Court's ruling return to our own DESI Leidick Live.

Thank you for joining up down there tonight.

I warned you before you do your report. Audience filled with law students. So does he Democrats have to be disappointed in this ruling.

Yes, Democrats are doing more shower crying than normal today, John, But they are still confident that a conviction in the January sixth trial can keep Trump out of the White House.

That's seemingly not likely going to happen before election.

Day, right, But fortunately Trump has three other criminal trials coming up. One of those has to be a conviction, So Democrats are optimistic.

Trump can still be president if he's convicted. I mean, none of the cases would stop that.

Right, I'm glad you brought that up, John. Democrats say, if none of these cases go their way, there is still another avenue.

To pursue the getting more votes scenario.

They're not there yet. They were going to lay Reese's pieces out in a trail that leads into a golden tent labeled mar Lago that can only be zipped from the outside, or they discussed making him the next Golden Bachelor. Once he's surrounded by women his own age, Democrats believe he will spontaneously combust.

I still think the more votes Democrats find a witch, the witch turns Donald Trump into a bird.

The bird isn't there on election day, having already migrated to a warmer climate.

The elections, obviously type the battleground states are going to be difficult, but clearly there is a path to victory for Democrats, even if narrow.

Oh yes, you're talking about sending Trump in apple vision, pro pre loaded with so he'll be too busy masturbating the campaign.

That can work out for it does be right.

With everybody, Well, they'll have it. I didn't think of the last one.

That does sound.

Plausible, but there I have it. Breaking news. The presidential election is still on. We now return you to your regularly scheduled presidential election year programming.

Most has learn America's border crisis boiling over.

Hays at the border, the never ending serge of migrants crashing across There is southern border. Yes, every two to four years, we are reminded that we have a southern border, and it is porous.

There's a migrant crimes free killing Americans, and the presidents in accessory to murder.

We are being overwhelmed.

There is no word to describe this except invasion. Illegal invaders invading America, pouring over our border by the millions.

Criminals, rapists, murderers, child predators, and god knows who else.

God knows who else. I mean, statistically, a couple of them at least have to be podcasters, I mean murderers. But point taken, I think my pants just shit their pants. And if you're thinking that these are just some Central American no goodnicks, think again.

The countries we know they're coming from a number one state sponsored terror. Their satellite country Syria, Egypt, home of the Muslim Brotherhood, Afghanistan, home of Al Kaeda, ten thousand plus from Russia.

Record numbers of Chinese men of military age who have come across our border.

The number of military age men that are showing up with military haircuts, clearly in shape. I said, these guys are showing up with six packs and military boots.

I may, I may, they're clearly I mean tight asses.

I mean.

There's not an OUTSI fat on these mothers. I am so hard right, I want to go down to that goddamn border and I want to get ass deep on these immigrants. I want to suck and until I want to stick cash me outside. How about that?

That's what I'm wow.

So we got crowd gloves, my dirty phil impression, we got criminals, we got terrorists. Is there anyone else down there we should be worried about?

Anybody ever? Here of Hannibal Lecter, who was a.

Nice fellow, But that's what's coming into our country right now.

Wouldn't cannibals amongst them be the solution to the problem? Or are they fasting until they get to America? Well it's clear hyperbole, but there does seem to be by partisan agreement now that the border is a problem. There were three hundred thousand crossings in December alone. That's an

I really call it Biden migrant crime.

But it's too long, So let's just call it migrant crime.

And everyone's going to notice because of Biden. We will call it from now on Biden migrant crime. Okay, it's bigrant crime. This is we'll call it. I got a vigrant. Let's call it bigrant Biden crime. Oh that's good, that's smart.

Bigrant crime.

It's a portmanteau.

I'm not completely sold on bigrant It really just sounds like a migrant who's opened to crossing either border.

It's migrant crimegrant.

But there are some undocumented migrants who are committing crimes, some of them horrific. But isn't that true for every demographic, including natives. I feel pretty confident there's still a lot of opportunity out there for our American homegrown criminals. But if it's enough of an issue that on Thursday, we had ourselves a good old fashioned border off. As both men saddled up and headed to the southern border. Trump

Was fired up.

Were the United States of America?

Neil, can't you exactly where we are he knew what country we were.

In, boomness, in the United States of America. I take back everything I said a month ago.

Lay out your proposal, Sir.

I understand my predecessor's legal past today. So here's what I would say to mister Trump. Seat of playing policies issue, instead of telling members of Congress to block this legislation, join me. I'll join you in telling the Congress to pass this pipe artisan border security bill. We can do it.

Together, Ladies and gentlemen. The islive branch has been extended across the aisle and to show of genuine desire to solve this complex and vexing issue. Trump.

Your response, Crooked Joe is the blood of countless that has said victims.

MM that's no. Seriously, though, Crooked Joe, we're still going with that.

Joe Bidenie Crooked.

I took the name away from Hillary because she's no longer relevant.

I guess.

Do you have to say everything that happens in your head out loud. It's been eight years, you've won, the woman's been thrown up. Now you're going to take away her nickname?

Now what are you're doing?

But let me tell you something. Trump Oh, I've got serious there. You can't scare the Democrats because the one thing that the Democrats have are principles. When it comes to immigration, the Democrats hold to our country's cherished ideals, the eternal promise etched at the feet of Lady Liberty that speaks to our better angels.

The only way we're going to have a great future in America is if we welcome and embrace immigrants.

These people are folks that we should be helping.

America welcomes immigrants.

We want people to come here despite where they came from, or despite the circumstances that drove them to this country.

This is a place where the statue of Liberty sits in the harbor, and we say, bring us your tie of those who are yearning to be.

Free, unshakable bedrock American values of compassion and empathy. And there is not a damn thing that you can do to change that. Buses arriving in New York City from Texas, one after another, filled with migrants seeking asylum. That's all you got, nice trick, Texas, but you are We're in New New York City. How bury you no disrespect? But you are never gonna change our values because you're afraid, so keep sending those bus loads, because we got plenty of room in our hearts, and in this city.

We have no more room in the city.

What about the yearnings and the tire and the tiredness and the tiredness of those who are doing the yearning?

One hundred and ten thousand migrants.

We have to feed, clothed, house educate the children, watch their laundry sheets. This issue will destroy New York City. Destroy New York City.

I mean they're supposed to be doing our sheets. What's going on around here?

What kind of toptic tarby world are we living?

And over here?

Yes, it turns out in the age old battle between values and fear, values.

Never had a chance. It took two busloads.

Of it is whalens to go from this to this. So this is the terrible cycle. America is caught in democrats whose high minded values and principles did not survive a contact high with reality, and Republicans whose desire to solve the problem isn't nearly as strong as their desire to exploit it. And no one wins, well except this guy.

Clearly in shape. We said, you guys are showing up with six packs and military boots.

Learn more about it in his new special Doctor Phil straddles the Border.

When week about Uncle Jonathan blitchrol me joining me? Don't fall away? One time to downs my death.

Tonight covered immigrations for the New Yorkers because your book called everyone who has gone and here the United States and Central America and the making of a crisis. Please, welcome to the program, Donathan Blitzer.

Sorry, thank you for joining us.

First things first, what are you doing to me? I have a family, I have a life. This is a very long book. You don't have to read the notes. I didn't have to read the whole son of a bitch. What an incredibly thorough documentation of the causes of the immigration crisis, the discussions that have been going on through multiple administrations. Uh, in your mind? What has us trapped in this sort of Sissyphisian nightmare?

Yeah, I mean for years and years we've watched kind of in this loop. As politicians in Washington say, we can't pass comprehensive immigration reform because of the situation of

R I almost never hear politicians talking about how many people can you absorb? I mean, when you tell me there's going to be two million people coming through the southern border and they are just you know, being kind of logged and released, that sounds utterly chaotic in a recipe for disaster. But how many people can this country absorb? What do we need for economic growth? What is a better system? I feel like we never talk about that. We just react to images of chaos.

Absolutely.

I mean, we can't talk about one aspect of the immigration system without view of the other. And so, you know, if we're only ever talking about the southern border, we're missing the entire kind of picture that we need to better understand. But just as an example, you know right now, the and you don't take my word for it, I mean that you're you should you should don't You're the

Immigrant labor can be more easily exploited, is paid less, starts to depress wages for a lot of other people. Is that not accurate?

I don't.

I don't think it is entirely.

I think it's a much somewhat accurate, reasonably accurate.

Well, until until they're way of absorbing an immigrant labor force legally into the country, there are always going to be opportunities for employers to exploit the undocumented and in the process to drive down working wages. And so the idea is there needs to be a thoroughgoing reform of the system. And the problem is, of course that in Washington that's been done on arrival now for decades, and so we're kind of in this doom loop where the border is the symbol of everything. But obviously in a

Is to deal with every aspect of the system. This is where you drop us like a little drop us sunshine, and you say, but here's the good news. Yeah, go go, what's in here?

No, I would say the good news is that from a policy perspective, at least doing some of the things to relieve pressure at the southern border are no great mystery to lawmakers. I mean, the problem, of course is the politics, but it doesn't require any great feat of the imagination.

This is not a complexity beyond the imagination of human being.

Correct.

We don't have to restabilize areas we destabilized to really get a handle on it. It's about fixing the system of influx.

I mean, I think, you know, overall, the only way to kind of deal with migration trends in the world is to understand the forces in a global context, and that means that the United States has to be more mindful of the consequences of its foreign policy.

It has to work with partners in the region. You know, all very really blocked out, and you said, you said something about mindful foreign policy, and yeah, exactly, I just started thinking about you two in the sphere. I don't know what's going.

On, but I will say this, you know one of the ways, you know, reforming the asylum system specifically is a complex task, and I do think some hard decisions have to be made about kind of reckoning with the population of people showing up at the Southern border and kind of understanding what the limits are of the asylum

You have, there's no hope until after the election to even address any of it.

I mean, it's pretty overwhelming to see right now. Republicans in Congress basically say we're not going to touch this. I mean they've said it explicitly.

This this is the greatest danger to America, you know, maybe ever, and we're not going to do anything because we think it's a great issue. I mean, that's truly devious.

Yeah, and well, and the plot of that playing out was the administration, the Biden administration went to Congress and said we need more money to increase resources in the southern border.

But they were slow on the uptick as well.

Absolutely, and then there's plenty that the Bide administration could be faulted for. They go to Congress, they ask for money. That doesn't work because Republicans say, no, no, no, we want to see further changes to the asylum system as we know it. The administration goes to the negotiating table, makes a series of compromises that Democrats.

Were not comfortable making years ago.

I mean, pretty significant changes just in their own orientation in this conversation, and they finally broke her this deal. I mean, this isn't just a Democratic effort. This is a bipartisan group in the Senate doing this before the terms of the deal are even announced. You have Mitch McConnell saying to his Senate members, listen, you know the

It's so tough because you know, McConnell's usually so idealistic. It's just hard to see. I'm a shock. It's shocking than geez, self serving politics. That's not the guy I know. Everyone who is gone is here with Jonathan Blake. So we're gonna pay you right quick, great, thank you so much. Before we go, we're gonna check in with your host for the rest of the week, mister Ronnie Chang, Ladies and gentlemen.

So nice to see you.

Big week that's coming up. You've got a super Tuesday tomorrow.

Yeah, yeah, I yes, State of the Union on Thursday, Ronnie.

Yeah.

Is there something else you're planning on covering her?

Where is Kate Middleton? Where are you Kate?

Some people think she's dead, some people think she got a BBL. My theory is they didn't turn the BBL machine oftentime, and now she's all BBL. So stop looking for Kate Milton and stop looking for a princess size BBL.

It's an important story, Ronnie. Keep on that. Ronnie Chang at the desk this week, Ladies and gentlemen.

It is nothing in the case of Biden on Thursday. A cynical, sick political stunt by the President, and frankly, it is beyond disgraceful. We will be at the border with President Trump on Thursday.

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