Jon Stewart on Wrongful Deportation and How Trump Fails to Deliver | Ramy Youssef

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From the most trusted journalist at Comedy Central's America's only source for news. This is The Daily Show with your host Shown Stewart.

Hi. Everybody, welcome to the Down Show.

My name is young sir.

We got us a show for you tonight. The great comedian rame Yosef will be joining me a little bit later, and then afterwards we will head to space on Blue Origin where I will sing something to delightful from the

President Boukelly at the moment flying from El Salvador to Washington, d C.

What Saints be praised and just give Garcia a ride. You don't even have to give Guarcia the middle seat. I'm sure Garcia would just grabbed the wing and Tom cruise it over here if he had to. But sadly, Kelly arrived at the White House with just the Miami Club promoter, clothes on his back.

And a pocket full of excuses. Can President bou Kelly weigh in on this?

Do you plan to return him? Can I have some model of terrorists at today United States? I don't have the power to return him to the United States, you know, can.

I honestly tell you, like this is even the thing that's.

Like they're enjoying this, Like the two of them, our president, their president. We'll just have to let him rot in a prison, even though he didn't deserve to be there. I don't you guys don't care about this guy. I'm talking about these two. But somebody else cares about this person. And you just, randomly, with no evidence that you'll show anybody,

You said that if the Supreme Court said someone needed to be returned, that you would abide by that.

You said that on Air Force one just a few days ago, and they said that it must be facilitating.

Why didn't you just say, isn't it wonderful that we're keeping criminals out of our country?

Why can you just say that? Why are you going over and over? And that's why nobody watches you anymore?

Magnagnag You sound just like the Supreme Court.

But fear not America.

For every time a lame stream media journalist gets shunned and ask kissing one gets its wings?

Do you have a question?

Thank you so much?

You sort a nunder major investing winds morning in media less to build its AI.

Supercomputer the first time ever right here in the United States.

That's a question I like minutes.

True, Yeah, that's not a question. I guess it's your favorite kind of question, a compliment. But rest of these the Americans, if there's one thing we all know, it's that first they come for the undocumented migrants, and as long as nobody speaks out, they stop. You mentioned that you're open to supporting individuals that aren't foreign aliens for our criminals.

To El Salvador.

Does that include potentially US citizens fully naturalized in the gradient.

If it's a home grown criminal, I have no problem.

I'm talking about really bad people, really bad people.

He's going to do that to US citizens. I think the hosts of the view were about to get administratively errord. I gotta tell you, I did not think he would get this authoritarian this fast.

I really didn't. I'm sorry. Who could have known.

Maybe if somebody out there had yelled at me on blue sky about this, I would have known. But no one did, except every day in all caps. So I guess the question is how authoritarian is we.

Now? I don't accept your pity applause.

Now, Luckily for us, the world is full of authoritarian leaders that we can measure Trump against your putins, your gee's, you're and a win tours. So so if Trump can put up a monster authoritarian score, you know what, Let's do this.

Dave port Marcella a one clip.

Everybody knows the rules, by the way, the greatest pizza reviews in the history of pizza. If you guys like pizza, for me, it's like watching porn. We already know Trump's done a lot of the standard fare. He's attacked the free press, pulled random people off the streets, made law firms and universities bend the knee, announced Department of Justice investigations into an individual whose sole crime was suggesting that the twenty twenty election had been safe and well administered.

You know, the bad, bad people.

But authoritarianism isn't just policies. It's an aesthetic. The opulence of medieval kings, the excesses of Middle Eastern autocrats.

It's a pinterest vibe.

That speaks to the power of one's position, the riches that are the privilege of the office. Does Trump measure up? Does he have the lack of available wall space?

Do you have the mantle and you have the cherubs from Is.

That from Marlo?

Yeah?

That's actually their gold or gold look, and you know the it's angels.

Their angels.

See, they visited me in the night and change my ways.

So I held them down and dip them in gold. I drowned them in gold, liquid gold. Have you ever heard an angel scream?

It is just it is erotic.

By the way, if any of you are wondering if the cherubs that are now in the Oval office are real gold. And I know many of you are wondering that it is real gold, and there's a very good reason for that.

Throughout the years, people have tried to come up with a gold paint that would look like gold, and they've never been able to do it.

You've never been able to look at that look.

You've never been able to match gold with gold paint.

That's why it's gold.

That dude is so blue collar, always down at the factory with the boys.

Why can't they make a gold paint that looks like gold.

That's not a leader.

I don't mind them canceling pediatric cancer research, but I hope by the end of the time we can come up with a good gold paint substitute, because but you know, rooms filled with real gold cherubs or nothing if those rooms aren't also filled with the echoes of the most embarrassingly sycophantic hosannas one clip everybody knows of wants.

Thank you for your leadership and thank you for everything you're doing.

I want to thank you for standing up to the Chinese Communist Party.

I want to figure as well for the ship building. Your vision is a turning point and an inflection point in American history.

Your leadership at the border absolutely remarkable.

What you're doing now, I think is a great service to our country but ultimately to the world.

You are overwhelmingly elected by the biggest majority.

You know what, I swear to God. Guys, what does she know? She's the attorney general.

She doesn't have the fun. When I watched those.

Cabinet meets, I actually think, are they making fun of him?

It's so over the top.

Mister president, Oh, thank you so much. Your dick is soap.

So your dick is soapic.

We can barely lift it.

Because it's it's it's it's covered in real gold, not the pain, real gold.

But you know, any.

Any run of the mill authoritarian can get the praises from those that fear him. The ogs, the real autocrats extract something much much weirder and humiliating, the forced, uncomfortable laughter.

You're telling you all, I got tang even.

To go, would you?

She couldn't question he had a hat on. It's another add on, the same had but still.

That's on the North Korean website funny or You Die. And as America's dear leader, Donald Trump also has a tight five we're pulling.

All that out and putting the money toward the infrastructure, not the social movement from the last administriction.

Good steal as supposed to green paper mache.

Good, thanks, great job.

That made non sense, right, right, yeah, not that right.

Didn't make any sense to you, make sense to me?

Are even alive though?

Right?

Putt it's just so fucking weird. But the key to the authoritarian regime.

Is the suspension of the normal processes by which you understand the world, the manner by which data and your experiences paint a cohesive, grounded picture of reality.

The calling card of an authoritarian regime.

Is that you must suspend that reality, that rationality, and then you test people by pushing the limits of that absurdity.

The White House release the results of President Trump's physical exam. His doctor says President Trump exhibits excellent physical health.

The import says he's six f' three two hundred and twenty four pounds.

No, I'm gonna say no to either of those numbers. I don't want to be that guide. But he has a front button. I mean, we all get there. It's fine, you can have it. But what's what he is forged by a festus. No, by the way, that medical exam did not only confirm that Trump is physically perfect, his brain is also totally jacked.

And I took a cognitive test, and I don't know.

I want to tell you, and then I got every answer, right.

Can you tell us about it?

A looking a test? Is that man person camera TV?

It's a I think it's a pretty well known test. Whatever it is, I got everyone, I got it all right.

I think we all know what cognitive tests we're talking about. But I would like to know. Do you know what cognitive it's just bulgeiting. I took a cognitive test about my memory?

What was it's test? Trump is such a medical marvel? What's the secret to his good health and youthful appearance? Sense of humor decreases stress? That he has?

Everyone that knows the president knows how funny he is.

That decreases stress? Does it?

Sense of humor decreases stress? Keeps you young looking?

Is that what I hear you saying? May I, if I may.

Just for schnicks offer the counter argument, Do I look less stress?

No, don't look I'm hideous.

But you know what, he's got a good sense of humor and he's in pretty good shape. May work for your run of the middle of Autharitarians, your Lukashenko's, your Maduro's. Shirley Trump is above that seatier.

Donald Trump is a genius, very different in the best possible way.

The president has an athlete's.

Mindset, accessible, free wheeling, refreshing.

It is like Christmas every day with President Trump.

He's like that Marvel superhero.

A mythic figure, almost like the verious Scandinavian.

I'm obviously not a scholar and Viking lore. I don't remember there being BeO Wolf's.

Was one be wolf? Wasn't it?

Also then do BeO wolves? But those are still just reaching for superlatives. Is there anyone else who wants to place him? Not on Mount Rushmore, but maybe Mount Signed?

Can Trump be the biblical Moses?

No, I'm not the most observant Jew. I mean, this weekend I think I celebrated Forum.

But isn't Moses the biblical Moses?

And by the way, if you were Moses, I do think there were some now shout knots that he might want to take a look at.

By the way, Moses six four two eighteen forty eight in Chartile. But you know what.

Even a superhero, a viking, or a mythic figure or a biblical profit pales in comparison to the genius that we are witnessing. Zelenski's playing checkers and Trump is playing chess.

Trump's three D chess move he.

Is actually playing four D chess.

President Trump's five D chess. That's that's not a dimension the lens with depth for his time. There's no working five, there's no five. He is a god who has created a whole other dimension through which he plays board games. Let's, you know, let me even see how do you play five dimensional Trump chess?

Let me see how we do this. So here's how he would probably do it.

We lose them for DEI okay.

Check on. I guess that's it. I guess that is five D.

You know, for no authoritarian.

That awesome.

I guess words are not enough. Tributes to a great leader must show, not tell.

A new proposal by House Republicans to rename Washington Dulles International Airport after Donald Trump.

Brendan Carr, the SEC chairman, was seeing throwing a gold pin of Trump's face.

A congresswoman introduced a bill to add President Trump to Mount rushmore that.

Would make President Trump's birthday a national holiday.

Put President Trump's likeness on the one hundred dollar bill, a brand new two hundred and fifty dollars bill featuring Donald Trump's face.

He's going to be at.

All our money and all our fing mountains.

So Trump's got it all authoritarian wise, the looks, the attitude, the relentless dissent, crushing all the ingredients to.

Be a top tier authoritarian.

All he needs now is to bring it home with his ruthless competence.

Chaos and confusion from Wall Street.

The market's lost more than six and a half trillion dollars day.

They've wiped out eleven million dollars, turning now to yet another plane crash.

The worst measles outbreak of this century.

One hundred thousand federal workers have been fired.

The Trump administration on firing some of the federal workers.

The President Trump's tariff train escalates the global trade war. The President hits pause on his global trade warp.

The President made it clear yesterday this is not a negotiation. The Donald Trump says it is a negotiation.

The President exempted smartphones, computers, and other devices from his new reciprocal tariffs.

The president later posting there was no terriff exception announced on Friday.

So close, So.

Frustrating to see someone just on the precipice of illiberal leadership.

But he just can't put it all together. Is Trump putin or gie? Not yet. But there's no question that he's a young upstart. There's a lot of potential.

But if he can't bump his numbers in the getting shit done category, he's got to hit the ceiling pretty quick. You know what.

Let me let me Donald, but let me have a word.

President Trump. General Lissimo. Oh great, Moses.

I don't know what your advisors have told you about the authoritarian bargain, but the basic deal is this. The American people look the other way while you disappear undesirables, knuckle under the elites, span all seven trans athletes from our nation's beloved NCAA fencing tournaments. You know, all the people that are holding us back, and then you, in turn make shit work. You want to ignore the Supreme Court and all the other courts and take away people's

We love our children.

We love rub.

We love our children, especially the rizzler.

You want to destroy NPR and PBS, the Voice of America. Sell the naming rights of the Washington Monument to hymns dot com. Use the R word, the P word, the C word, make up your own slurs. Have the United States Naval Academy remove Maya Angelou from its bookshelves. But for some reason, keep mind comp which is a real thing that they did.

We'll be fine.

We weren't that crazy about this system of government in the first place. But you keep fen this up, and some of these lawyers and universities and corporate leaders are going to start to think about suggesting, respectfully to each other in a very tightly controlled text chat, that someone should reach out to someone who knows someone in your administration to express milts.

They're satisfaction.

Because injustice anywhere is not something we mostly think about. And remember, you don't have that much time to get it right, because it's not like your vice authoritarian butterfingers is inspiring any confidence. Look at the size of that trophy next to Jdvents.

I know those are some some big young gentlemen and a big trophy as a big dudes.

Yeah.

Oh and it looks like a trophy fair.

That's unfortunate.

Oh too.

Administrative error. When we come back romy house, if I'll be joining us, don't.

Go right Award winning after committee appropriated the new animated series number one, Happy Family, USA.

Hey Dad, I think this jersey might be too big. Yes, roomy, it would fit you forever. We didn't come to this country to buy new clothes every year.

Yeah, you guys see roomies boobs.

You gotta get his hormones check. No, no money for hormone checks.

Now everybody checks their own hormones. Maybe we could return in for something smaller. Uncle Jamal doesn't do returns. He's very under the table and no more new stuff here. Terrible month ar Roomy, but I use less toilet paper. I only use the chataf Now your butt is clean, but your energy usage isn't. Look where you are on the cousin leaderboard. Your cousins are beating you in every category.

Be more like Kareem.

We talk about it on my yo side. Look at you, what's happening.

I'm so happy to be here with you than.

I'm so happy to have you here with me. I'm so happy you know the show. They send me the screeners, I get them in advance.

Yeah, of course you've got that kind of connection.

Yeah, oh, I get I don't even have to log in. I just I touched my computer.

It's right there.

I didn't know what it animated hers I'm watching it. I'm trying to think, here, wait, what's happening, And then all of a sudden, it's September tenth, Yeah, two thousand and one, and I'm like, what's about that happened?

And it did? And you made it hilarious. The show's hilarious. Thank you.

No, I you know, it was something that we felt was only possible to do an animation.

It's actually it's really wild too, because.

We've been making the show for so many years, and I don't think there's ever been a week in America's history where immigrants feel the need to say, hey, we are number one happy family USA, right, And that is what this family feels compelled to do in two thousand and one, and we kind of have this show coming out in this moment where it's all colliding in this wild.

Way or was there something going on in the government?

Yeah?

How many years?

You said, you've been making this for many years before nine to eleven?

Were you making it? What did you know, Ronny?

But we started making it during we pitched it during Trump one, and then it's coming out now in the sequel.

Isn't it wild that we're in eras now? Like Trump one? I remember Trump one. Yeah, it's so quaint and simple back then, you know this is gonna sound crazy.

He seemed happier back then. Yeah, he did. He did. He was like smiling more like he seems really stressed now, like all the clips you were showing. I was like, you know, You're like, oh man, he looks kind of sad, like I don't think he likes what he's doing either.

That may be the most charitable thing I've ever heard.

You always, I don't.

I always try to see it from the other point of view, even if it is and I'm like, he looks stressed, like he doesn't look good.

He's like watch, you know, he's got such a good sense of humor that it keeps him young. I wonder, I mean, do you think when you're surrounded by that, like with like imagine being in a room with all your cabinet secretaries and they're kissing your ass so hard that it does seem sarcastic? Like do you think he goes back into like the bathroom afterwards and be like, do they really think I'm bringing a new error?

Do I think he might? I mean, they're kissing his ass, and he obviously has like body image issues. He's lying about the weight and that.

And then like.

And then and then like you know, John Stewart's over here talking about a front buttons.

No, I mean the guy. I mean the guy.

No, I don't think he did.

And he's going through I believe he's going through something physical, and he happens to be the president of the United States, And I think we got to just kind of look at it from kill it from that every angle.

Can I ask you a question, do you think Instagram is wrong with his self image? And that's why, like, because he looks at all these Instagram shots of all these other leaders, He's like, they look ripped, dude.

I think I mean that poutin shot. It's got to hurt. I think there's a reason he got off X and created his own social media platform right where he could, you know, control how people are seeing.

Just say are you? Are you on Truth?

Yo?

Yeah?

I got at Rommy from the beginning, and you actually any Arab name you can just get on truth it real like as of like it's available like you.

Oh, you could get at Mohammad right now.

Every spelling is available on Truth.

Yeah, it's pretty It's a really very limited audience base that's on there.

I am hoping that our audience at home right now is rushing out.

You can sign up today to register those domain names. Have you do you do any of that? Do you do you social media? Do you?

Uh?

Very sparingly yeah, I mean it's really hard. I mean, you know, like being creative, and we've talked about this with like stand up and stuff. It's like I love being in rooms with people, and so being online can feel really crazy. And so no, I like I go on to look at like sports stuff like Lebron stuff, but that's pretty much it.

Yeah, that's where I'm that kind of I used to What was so interesting to me is like We've all had this experience as stand ups. You'll like you do a room and like they'll always be like a table or like a couple of tables who like aren't digging it.

Yeah, and you're like.

Okay, And sometimes you'll register it and like maybe it'll get on your nerves a little bit or whatever, but then you go home. Social media is like those people that thought you sucked. You have to ride in the cab with them home and like the whole time they're just like you.

Suck, yeah, and you're a Jew.

You know what's crazy is I get called a Jew?

Do you really?

Yeah?

Like I put I had this like New York Times thing and like it was like the thing and there's stuff where people like, oh why do you have And then someone just writes another Jew and I was like, whoa.

That's how much Jews control.

There?

Like yeah, he's like an undercut yeah yeah yeah, And now I'm here with you.

But if that isn't a sign that it is so wild though, you know, there's all these things and Islamophobia and anti Semitism are such brethren in like different moments, you know.

Yeah, but we got like a really bad end with our like Islamophobia is so weak, like.

It just sounds phobia.

Well yeah, because it's like a rachnophobia, like but it just sounds like, oh yeah, you had a weird Islamic experience as a kid.

You got a little phobia.

You don't like, Man, you can get over it.

Just like try some hellow meat and like you get over. Like you know, it's like islamophobia. It's like a shellfish allergy. It's like, oh yeah, I don't know, like, oh, he doesn't want any he has a slamophobia.

Like it sounds so benign.

Anti Semitism is like whoa like, dude, like what you know?

What you want about?

You know? So I think even from just on a on a real word language level, we're at an incredible disadvantage.

I never thought of it that way.

Yeah, and that's because you're a Slamophobia and that's and that's like wild, that's wild.

It's just wild because we know each other.

Yeah, I know, Jersey is.

I'm gonna have to go through our text chains and find out how subtle my islamophobia has been here.

It's there. Yeah, but they'll.

Hit me I generally, no matter what I'll put on the web and I try not to do it much. Third comment is always you changed your name Juke, and you're always like, really, I'm fooling people? Is that look at this face? Like you see this maybe on a Yentil poster. That's my kidding for all these things. Now, are you still you still the clubs are still your favorite?

Yeah? I mean go hit in the club?

Yeah, yeah, going out to I mean it's the best.

It's so fun.

And then it becomes you know, we made this animated show that's like filled with you know, those like thoughts you have in a notebook when you're going to do stand up and you're like, maybe this.

Will work, maybe it won't.

And then we get to make this incredible show with so many characters that get to say all this stuff that you know you don't need, like like the rate is so fast, and that's what's been so fun.

Just joke and your can I tell you my favorite this? This is going to sound like a crazy thing. So the show's great, and it's just layered with so many jokes and yet and the subject matter can get dark, but it's really clever. It's not cloying, Like it's really good.

How about such a great detail.

It's like loaded with so many little details and music and kind of the ability to like, you know, do things that you know, when I grew up, my grandmother was always watching TV. Like you try to talk to her and she's just at the TV watching her shows. And then you go to make an animated show and it's like, okay, so the grandmother is always going to have her TV with her everywhere. Yeah, And we build this show where everywhere she goes, she's dragging this cart

I love that the halal cart turned into a piano.

Oh yeah. I mean, like, I always had this fascination my dad grew up in the city, you know, Like I grew up with my dad working in the city, and it was so funny to me when you go through Midtown and you see the news ticker on the Fox News building and it's seeing all these horrible headlines about Muslim countries and Muslim people, and then you kind of look right down and there's the halal cart right on the corner, and you see all the guys with

That's like, let me try a little halal, you know, and he's right there to make the butt.

And so when we started making this show, I'd always been so fascinated by that guy there, and and that becomes the dad and the show. He is the guy who's sewing and you're the dad too.

I play the dad as well.

Yeah.

Yeah. And the music are you do you? Yeah?

I write them, Yeah, I write these like songs when the music, I mean, are you I am music?

Yeah?

Yeah, yeah, And I think that's you know start. I in high school I played guitar, but I never really know each other for.

A long time. Why I played drums man, Dude, we could kick it. We would be crazy. We could call it kosher halal.

We could we could do we could do.

I'm open, I'm we could do it.

I listen.

I have a van.

Yeah, I'm a terrible drummer, but I can bring our ship to wherever we play. I do not sing, I've never and but the singing and the music is great. There's some really funny songs in it.

It's really it was so much fun. Yeah, it is like one of my favorite parts of the show.

You know that? And what else? Isn't that? What's coming? What? What's what's the next?

We got the show coming out this week. I got to do this crazy cool movie Mountainhead that's coming out next month, written by Jesse Armstrong with did Successions.

So fun.

Yeah, it's very, very fun. It's a very it's.

Really exciting and Yeah, our friend Steve Krell's in it and he's like, honestly such a joy.

Yeah he really.

He's told me like so many stories about you that yeah.

Yeah, did any of them mention Mountain Head.

Terrible?

That was really good?

Thank you very much. I share that.

Ye good.

Yeah, I went immediately to that. I know, I loved it.

How much fun that was Orging with Correl like he is and the dead pan is what I'll get.

You no, and it's like he's just yeah, he's so inspiring and he's he's like the way he kind of picks up a character and he's like such a true film actor too, like so you get to bounce off.

Him, and it's just I miss all those Yeah, it's so good to see. Thanks, you're the man.

Remember what I.

Haven't done at Park Video?

Let me grant right.

Afterway, I didn't know you.

You look our show.

But before we go, we're gonna check it with your host for the rest of the week, Ronnie Chang.

What's happening to right?

What else?

What do you got to the people next week?

Well, big news for me personally, John, I'm gonna I'm going to space.

Oh wow.

Yeah, the all women mission went so well today that Jeff Bezos asked me to be part of the All Asian One.

No Offense, Ryan, But like your top five, all right?

I just I just Ali Wong Lisa from White Lotus, Bow and Yang.

I just yeah, Okay, But that's the point, John, Okay. I'm the perfect mix of famous and disposable. It's known in the aerospace industry as the Katy Perry curve. Uh enough fame for news coverage, but you know, worst case scenario, the world can move on.

Also, I have.

No problems peeing in a bottle.

Pean in a bottle. It's an eleven minute ride.

Yeah, I got a thing.

I got thing with my.

All right, well, I hope you get back to say Ronnie Chang. Everybody here.

This is the first we've had women. But we've never had.

Three of them right here ex flour and three of them.

Look at you, guys, feel a little bit mystery.

That's good.

I like it.

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