Jon Stewart on Which Speech Is Free in Trump’s America | Paul Rudd

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My friend, I got a I got a.

New tie with a chart.

I'll tell you what, we got a great one. Paul Rudd has gotta go. Paul Rudd finally had balls to come on this show after weeks of calling me a propagandast. Know this, our interview will be unedited. Rudd's going down. It's HAPPENINGNNA. I'm gonna give that dude an infection of the paranem I spent.

I should explain it.

We spent.

We come out earlier, I do a little warm up with the audience, and for some unknown reason, and it really was not prompted, I was trying to discuss the relationship between asthma medication at a side effect of an infection of the perineum. Unfortunately, I have no one in the audience who was able to satisfy my curiosity on that. Those of you at home and maybe looking it up

A reporter from the Atlantic says he was mistakenly added to a group chat with top members of the Trump administration as they were texting back and forth about highly sensitive war plans.

Jeffrey Goldberg says he was included in a group chat full of our nation's top security officials discussing what we can only assume to be top secret plans to bomb hoothy targets across Yemen on March fifteenth. Everything from the weapons America would be deploying, to the timing and the attack sequences.

Oopsie POOPSI.

Yeah.

Back in my day, if you were a journalist who wanted leake to war documents, he had worked the sources, meet him in a dark garage, earned the trust pound the pavement. Now just wait for the National Security advisor to be distracted by white lotus while he's setting up his bomb Yemen group chat. All those guys jerking each other off, by the way, I might be in this group chat.

I don't know.

I don't check my group chats.

Perhaps my favorite text of the entire group chain was the one from our Defense secretary saying, quote, we are currently clean on opset.

For those of you who don't KNOWSECT.

Means operational security. He said that in the group chat, a group chat with a journalists, the journalist said that he didn't think that the story was real until Yemen was bombed. Oh did I bring you down?

Let's move on, because, as you know, there are certain.

Hypocrisies and absurdities that we find in our cultural moment that make for great fodder for humorous dialogue. A facial expression a not in a wink. Then there are other pronouncements by our elected officials, actions by our government that are so baldly bullshit, even though you know it will have no effect, and that these powerful creatures have been genetically modified to resist shame self reflection of any kind.

You just can't help yourself but to go old school Daily Show coach.

I'm talking about the debate on free speech now. As we know, conservatives have been very concerned about the loss of free speech in our country for a very long time.

Bullies on the left aiming to silence conservatives.

Free speech is under siege in this country and the leftists.

They've become the thought police. They basically declare themselves God and judge us for our thoughts.

George Orwell was right. The thought police come next to punish thought crime. Be very, very scared.

I am, perhaps not for the reasons. You are the thought police with you right now, Jamie?

Are they in the bottles? But luckily, our national free speech nightmare recently came to an end when we entered the golden age of Donald jehosifef for Trump.

We have saved free speech in America, and we've saved it strongly.

Free speech in America, it's fact.

Thank god, we have a president now who believes in free speech.

Yes, thank god, we have a president now who believes in free Just go ahead, roll through twelve. I believe that CNN and MSDNC what they do is illegal. I think CBA should lose its license, Yes, but I think ABC should lose its license also because of what they had done.

I watched what happened live.

I think Bravo should also lose their license.

What they did to Derinda on Traders. They should be sent to a Salvagerian.

Now, this is what I'm talking about. Generally, you've got to search the archives for contradictions on one stated principles, dig through policy papers to uncover private actions that are undermined by someone's public stance. But this is so this is so blatant. I can't wrap my head around it. It's not even the hypocrisy, it's that they so fetishize free speech, this thing that they do not in any way actually practice.

The freedom to speak our minds and express the truth that is our heart. Really, that's really a big chunk of our heart.

Any cardiologists will tell you.

Heart's coming chunks.

Blood comes into the aorda to the right ventricle, passes through your speech chunk. But since coming into office, Trump and the Republicans have instituted policies that are a dagger right through many people's speech chunks.

The White House has barred the Associated Press from presidential events because the AP has refused to rename the Gulf of Mexico the Gulf of America in its stylebook.

And in a dramatic escalation against the American legal system, Trump this weekend dirrected his government to target law firms. Bating his action, federal immigration officials arrested a Palaestadian activists to help lead last year's student encampment protest at Columbia.

I think we are to get them all out of the country. They're troublemakers, they're agitators. They don't love our country.

A chunks, my precious chunks, my lovely lady, chunks, not chunks, not chunks. O lovely lady, you're making my paraneum tingle. Here's the thing, these attacks on free speech, especially the one where they deported that activist. If there's one thing that I know about the powerful principles at our higher education institutions, they will not be bullied by a roll to twelve.

Columbia University is bowing to President trump'ss announcing it will change a number of policies.

Among them placing the school's Middle Eastern, South Asian and African Studies department under academic receivership for at least five years. Some students protests to the Warren guys, I suddenly a whole academic department is on double secret probation with government oversight.

And by the way, okay, Middle East part African studies, what did they do.

So the African studies professors like I teach intermediate Swahili. See, these guys don't give a fuck about free speech. They care about their speech. It's so blatant hypocrisy. It's so old school Daily Show, gotcha. I you know what, I'm just gonna put on the wig I used to wear during those years.

Because poverat is just so.

Here's Donald Trump on those who would criticize judges that he has appointed.

A lot of the judges that I had.

If you look at him, they take tremendous abuse.

And it's truly interference, in my opinion, and it should be illegal, and it probably is illegal in some form.

Yes, criticizing judges, it is interference. It should be illegal, tremendous abuse.

And four days later, not four days later, not a full French work week later.

President Donald Trump just took a true social and deemed this judge. Responding to this decision here calling him a radical left lunatic of a judge, a troublemaker and agitator who was sadly appointed by Barack Hussein Obama, He says this judge should be impeached.

The bacus.

It is and are we really still doing the Barack Hussein Obama than oh, free RAMBEI.

Come on, people, yes.

See, what was the whole thing that they hated about the left on free speech?

No one has saved from the left's word police.

No one what exactly would actual government run word police organization look like.

The Trump administration is actively trying to purge the federal government of so called woke initiatives. Government agencies have flagged hundreds of words to limit or avoid, words like DEI, bipoc, anti racism, Latin X, Native American black women, seemingly random words like expression at risk, political and even mental health, and sex.

What's left.

Bipocking LATINX, I get that I allowed to say sex. You can't say words like women or sex or hashtag me too. How can a lot of your cabinet members describe their weekends? You know, you can't protest in a way that you can't protest in a way that defends the right. You can't teach things that the right doesn't want you to teach. You can't read things that they don't want you to read. You can't use words that they don't want you to use.

But they love free speech.

I guess fear not at least will always have art.

President Trump demanding a painting of him be removed because he finds it unflattering.

He's demanding they take it down because he believes this picture is unflattering, which really makes you think, do you think other pictures of you are flattering?

At least in the painting? They blended the foundation into your hairin but painting is out.

Oddly enough, there is still one area of free speech that the right defends non hypocritically.

I think they've come him a long way Meta Facebook, Mark.

Zuckerberg came to the White House, who I like much better now, you know, I have a warm spot in my heart foreto Twitter.

Now they call it X. It's great that Elon bought that. He's done us all a big favorite.

He loves it. Meta X the tickety time. Why is it that they're so enamored with social media?

Studies by The Wall Street Journal, Washington Post and academic organizations have found that the site forced political content on users. That content was almost invariably pro Trump, pro Republican, and pro mosque.

Huh. The one area of free speech that they want to protect completely is the area that supports them and isn't actually free. Social media is algorithmic and it advances with key demographics. Or to put that in the most hilarious way possible.

The President sat down with out Kicks Clay Travis on Air Force one to discuss the status of his second term.

President Trump getting to talk to you here on Air Force one. I wanted to start with this, why do you think young men are so overwhelmingly coming in your direction?

My work here is done. Perhaps I can answer that question.

They are overwhelmingly coming in his direction because that is the direction they're facing. I don't know if you know how that works, but you really can't come in the direction you're not facing. Although, young man, at that age, you could bank a shot, could I could see one fly over the shoulder, maybe a chick shot, but they landed in a cup.

You know where that would go viral.

Social media, the one place the right will unequivocally protect free speech, is the one place where the speech isn't actually free algorithms, it's speech incentivized for engagement and profit. It's manipulated. It just so happens that the same process that forces you to doom scroll somehow also draws you into republican ideology. Social media is a machine designed to stimulate the reptilian parts of your brain that would otherwise.

Beg you to go outside.

It's like being impressed that casinos give out free food. It's not free. Social media isn't the town's square, open form of ideas.

It's got a plan.

In the summer of twenty and nineteen, Facebook created a fake account for a forty one year old mom.

They called her Carol Smith.

Carol started off by liking a few popular conservative Facebook pages, but quickly Facebook began dragging her down a rabbit hole of miss information. After only two days, Facebook recommended Carol follow a QAnon page, and a few days later it suggested she follow another. By week three, Carrol's feet had become quote a constant flow of misleading and polarizing content.

Now Carol Smith is a completely fictional character, and yet her children have stopped talking to her, although she was apparently added to a Pentagon group chat.

And those the details about wenderbauming.

Guys.

Social media isn't the same as free speech.

Social media is free speech in the way that doritos are food.

It's ultra processed. It's designed in laboratories.

It's the same mechanism that somehow convinced you that you should eat a fifty story skyscraper of potato ish and the most disappointing thing.

Where are my conspiracy theories at now that it's on the right.

For God's sakes, billionaires are designing machines to manipulate our speech, to control our behavior, and to rewire our brains. They're removing our regular speech and doing a I don't know great replacement of it to solidify their.

Hold on power.

Are you a weak yet?

You were with me on the lab leak thing.

Everybody having come on, you've barely even touched your Epstein Binders.

Doesn't this bother you at all?

Elon Musk has taken a very courageous stand for the First Amendment. He's toughest upon not and the man's got guts.

He's got He's got oranges the size of beach balls.

Please stop with this fog horn leghorn bullshit. He's got range all the brayball. But let me guess, how do you feel about other billionaires owning and manipulating our media?

Mister Soros is now the largest single shareholder in Oudyssey radio stations in America. You can't just go do this mister Soros is a billionaire. Pass me the sick bucket.

Sitting right, pass us all the mother in sick bucket about Paul will beginning as they'll go away, one o the does and I got to nice after the stars in the new movie Death of a Unicorn.

Please walk a ball rock.

I'm sorry, John, I'm just I'm on this new medication and uh my perinem is on fire.

You know, here's how beautifully you craft these bits. It took me a while to understand that that was an inflamed paranem At first, if I may, the physical crafting you do, and the obviously the stage fighting classes you've taken, and all the things, the control you have over your body, at first I thought sciatica. It's clearly in the nether region. Yeah, it was the bowing of the legs.

It's the it's the telltale giveaway of an inflamed perineum.

Do we think.

Now do you think it's Do we think it's shack?

You go for Okay, we hear, we hear peraneum, and then we but we've also heard pereneum.

I thought you were gonna say taint.

The layman's term.

Sure, don't denigrate the term perenium sounds like a perennium, sounds like a flower.

In many ways. Isn't it.

A delicate.

The bouquet? Yes, the aroma. Did you know in your life? First of all, the way you.

Walk, it's the difference between just an actor and a craftsman.

You gotta put yourself, you gotta throw your whole body into it.

By the time you were done, my parentem hurt. That's how powerful it was.

Transference. You felt it. You felt it. No, that's good acting? Do your is it acting?

The way there is that the one part of your body that is corroding. I think is that your Achilles peraneum?

You know the portrait of Dorian Gray. I. Uh, I have a painting in my attic. I call it my attic, my attica that uh as adjust a just a rotting, old decrepit taint and uh and I also have it where it looks like a spaceship. It's called the Perenium Falcon.

Yeah.

I do hope you'll get that checked out. Yeah, that is uh, it is it is.

I have wondered this. Do you know about the Yeah, you can't. Every commercial it is for a medication.

No, question.

Everyone UH talks about the perenium and how it's some sort of side effect. The other thing they'd also mentioned is UH, which is in a way even more disconcerting because they do it with kind of a cheery voice. It's talking about bloody or black stools.

Is there a painting in your attic about that?

You want to you want to tell us about the other thing?

They always say, And don't take it like they've given you five reasons not to take this. I mean, you've got to be thinking to yourself, the accident was not that bad that I would risk my entire flaking on your arm or one kid at the beach and he's like on my elbow and they're literally like, your balls will fall off. But so I go through that and they think, like, oh, these five things will not have dissuaded you. The final one is always my favorite, And don't take it if you were allergic to it.

I know what's the giveaway? That's Oh, I think I might be allergic to this?

Yeah?

Everything, How would you know?

Unless Paul, I'm gonna be honest with you. Finally, I didn't even know you still did movies. I just thought we just I thought you were a web MD doctor and I just brought you out here to talk.

Yeah, strictly, Uh, medicines.

Medicines do you have? I am. I am at the point now where I like, I'll read an article on biohacking and like, and they'll be like, it's an injection of na D and ultra violet rays and you can't go outside for three months, And I'd be like, I would do that.

There is there is.

A thing that like is so strange that there we are so insistent on letting everyone believe they are sick in this country.

Oh shit, you just got real.

Oh no, but every commercial is one of these medicines.

And my daughter when she was little, you know, you just watch TV. It was unavoidable, you know, you play games with your kids of like, all right, we're gonna go through we have to name uh, you have to come up with a food. We'll go go through eights like apple, banana.

You know, cherries.

We used to do keep going. I want to I want to see I want.

We can, but we used to do it.

My daughter would be four years old and we would do it with medicines. She'd be like, abilify wow, and I swear to god, we could make it through the entire alphabet four years old. Normally you skip X, but she's zell jams right, not a bit that's really true.

How many times are we gonna do zoiba Raxin's in Remax?

Yeah, Xanax didn't even make the cuts gone.

Damn.

It is a very interesting you know.

Uh remember anison, good old anison.

Right, and it cured everything.

I just remember as a kid, I think all we had was anison buffering bear like as commercials.

It looks like somebody lived in a nice neighborhood. I had Saint Joseph's children's asked for.

I was seventeen and had chlamydia.

But how is your perineum gorgeous?

As Asriana would say, shine like a diamond. You could eat off of that thing? And boy did I try.

We all tried.

Can I tell you something.

I've missed you?

I've missed you too, I haven't I think the last time.

I see you every now and again at an event. Once I moved out of the city, Once you moved out of the city. For those urban sophisticates you are, you are a dead man. I live out in New Jersey and I would say to a poult, ho hold on one second, hard disagree, But I see you. You are living now the dream that I sometimes think of, Like you're Kansas City Chiefs. They keep winning Super Bowls. You're out there with your son on the field, like

Yeah, yeah, I do.

I mean, I certainly feel older, and my kids are older, they have their own lives. I mean, I'm sitting here, you know, getting nostalgic about the Abilify game, and so as I'm talking about it, and I see, you know, people with little kids.

I'm like, I remember that, and I do feel it's the whole the thing for me when I see someone whose kid is at that age where you can still do you like the football hold right, and you got the coffee in one hand and and the kid in the other, and then so the cigarette can just dangle and yeah, it's it's a it's a wild feeling when it when it washes over you. But it's also nice to I guess have them at that other like the conversations you can have with them as so much.

Yeah, Oh it's great.

I mean it's you know, you always hear that and that it's like, oh, every age is great and it's and it's true right, and it's it's an amazing it's an amazing thing. I was just I was just in Australia working in Australia and my son was on break from school.

And he came to visit.

It was the first time ever by himself and it was uh.

Came to visit you in Australia. Yeah, fantastic, is great? Did you The one thing I didn't do and I probably should have done, is make friends, so.

They have to be there.

I own them, but when they leave, it's just me eating a Jersey MIC's by myself watching it.

Well, I don't know, have you found this to be the case, because I certainly have. I think as I just as I get older, my world gets smaller and as far as friends, I do have friends, but I'm not nearly as social as I used to be. I'm not on I'm not on any actual social media. I never have been so I do feel as if the world operates in a way that it's passing me by.

I it's like I sit alone with me books. I sound like I'm Simon and garfunk song. I am a rock no his it's crazy.

I'm gonna tell you second, I look up for one second. I do this every time we're together.

God, my life is horrible.

People, I'll let you go.

I want to show the audience. I want everybody at home look at this. Paul is older than I am. And if I go home right now, my guess is somebody has ruined my taint painting your tainting.

You know, talk about an oil painting.

He's got the movies Death of a Unicorn. It's gonna be in theaters. I worked Friendship with Tim Robinson, who may be the funniest man.

He's amazing, amazing Tim Robinson.

Tim Robinson, and you're in the movie Friendship, which will deal with the things that we're just talking about, and then a movie about killing unicorns, which we're not probably going to talk about that much.

Fine, we're gonna talk about any of this.

How do you when you get because the movie it's wild and you'll love it and Jenne Ortega is in it, and she's great and the cast is insane, but I can't did when they pitched to you, they go, Paul, there's this movie. We'd really love for you to ben it. You play a lawyer, and oh what is a lawyer doing? Well, he's around murderous unicorns?

And is that when you go, like, look where I was in Marvel?

I don't I get a thing. It's called death of a Unicorn. I'm like, where do I sign?

That's the beauty of the Empire?

That well, it is always a pleasure. And I hope that I host one day a week for the next twenty years and you come back to see us again.

I would love nothing more, John, I hope talk for.

Con Let me call rock, Let me right back. You know I got that way from Oh looks everyday night before we go. You're gonna check in with.

Girls for the rest of the week, mister Ronnie Chang, run eye, what do you got for the rest of the week?

Run well, John, We'll be covering the bankruptcy of twenty three and meters. It's a sad day for all the people who want to learn their family history, but a great day for all the secret fathers who wanted to keep that history quiet. And of course, smart people like myself don't just give out our genetic information. I keep mind safe and secure.

Jesus, I'm sorry. Oh, for God's sake, Ronnie, you just group texted me your entire DNA sequence.

Okay, that was a small mistake, but otherwise my opsec is totally clean.

Here Lese prony, here, RUnni chang, everybody all my flee. I'm gonna shut my real phone off.

Oh. Also, March thirty first, next week, one week from today, maybe night at Too Many Stars at the Beacon Theater here in New York City, live comedy event benefiting office and programs nationwide. If you are in town, please consider buying tickets at the link below. Join me and really too many Stars, I can't even name them all. Chris Rock, Adam Slammer, a bunch of mother Rabel please join here. It is your moment?

Is that President Donald Trump taking aim at a portrait of himself in the Colorado State Capitol.

He's calling it distorted and ken and I have you seen?

I kind of agree Tell the Truth Social on Sunday to disparage the painting that was originally commissioned by the Colorado gop Any Most. He says that the painting was purposely distorted to a level that even I perhaps have never seen before.

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