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Yeah, let's get to the big news today.
Breathless anticipation at Trump Tower over an important and perhaps earth taking.
Development in the world. Are former President Donald J. Trump?
Celebrations are underway for former President Trump after claiming he won two golf trophies at his West Palm Beach club.
That's right, woke libs. You think Donald Trump's a loser. What would a loser brag about winning a golf tournament at his own course.
I don't think so.
Although obviously Trump has an advantage playing golf, it's difficult for his opponents to stay focused when they spend all that time staring at that ass Come on, a lot of times golfers let you grab them by the asshole.
They love it if you're a celebrity. That's the worst Trump impression in the history of thumbs.
Actually, Trump one of the few talented golfers who has a thick ass and a front butt. He has a front button. So what it does is the butt and the front butt become like a big like a ball, Like a big ball, the back and the front it helps with the center of gravity. It's like being on a hippitie hop. But I'm kidding, of course. Congratulations Donald Trump on winning the Trump Cup. I'm actually talking about today's big Trump legal development.
The clock is ticking for former President Donald Trump. You'll need to post a nearly half a billion dollar bond in order to satisfy his New York civil fraud case judgment. Otherwise the state could begin seizing properties to pay for it.
Damn that's right.
All week we sat with breathless anticipation to see if Trump had four hundred and fifty four million dollars in his wallet, or would Trump Tower be turned over to New York City to perhaps ease our terrible housing crunch, or more likely do what they always do, another shitty Walgreens.
I think.
I think another city Wallgreens whose shelves are bare from the rogue bands of shop lift US. Thanks a lot, David Dinkins, is he?
I don't know.
Very small percentage of the audience who will understand whatever, but the ones that do. As you can imagine the prospect of Trump being held accountable for what would be the first time had the media enthralled Donald Trump is running out of time to find four hundred and sixty four million dollars of formal.
Presidents legal problems may finally be catching up with him.
Could this be the beginning of the end for Trump's business empire. It does seem as though we are getting closer.
Trump filling the walls, closing in on him.
Panic mode. I'm told of setting it.
I think we're going to be writing a version of an obituary of the Trump Organization on IP.
The Trump Organization, it died as it lived, fraudulently cook books. It is very difficult to come from an obituary. It looks like it's the end of the line for Donald J.
Trump.
Esquire.
No way he comes up with half a billion dollars by the end of the day. I've been saving this since twenty sixteen, and it's finally here, and and it's finally here.
Judgment died four months ago.
The former president got a financial lifeline from a New York appeals court.
This isn't gonna be good.
It reduced the bond he must pay in the civil fraud case for more than four hundred and fifty million dollars to one hundred and seventy five million dollars and gave him more time to pay for it.
Well, that's still something that's ten days to come up with one hundred and seventy five million. I mean, unless he's about to come and do a shit ton of money, I don't see how he does that.
The recent merger of truth Social couldn't at the former president some three billion dollars.
Mother, ooh ooh. That is New Year's Eve.
You know, let's take a step back. What did Trump actually do to earn this penalty. Well, it turns out that for a decade, whenever Trump wanted to get a loan or make a deal, he would illegally inflate the value of his real estate, for instance, suggesting that his eleven thousand square foot penthouse was a thirty thousand square foot penhouse. I guess somehow including the sky in the calculation. We all do it. I mean, in my license, I'm not listed as five to seven, you know, I'm listed
as thirty thousand square feet. I mean, that's thank you. And the Attorney General of New York knew that Trump's property values were inflated because when it came time to pay taxes, Trump undervalued the vary same properties. It was all part of a very sophisticated real estate practice known as lying. So the judge calculated that the value that he gained from the lying with interest was around four hundred and fifty four million dollars. Now, you might be
saying to yourself, well, that sounds pretty straightforward. Whatever gains you got from lying, you have to pay back. Well, that's because you're were an idiot. No, if you knew anything about business, if you had an MBA, you know, an idiot.
We were talking about a victimless crime.
They find an ordinance or a law that has never been used ever before, and anyone else.
He's committed bank fraud where there's no victim.
It makes no sense, no victims, there was no victim. The ruling is blatantly unfair.
That didn't go over very well with the investment community because we're all asking each other who's next, Who's.
Next the persecuted minority of the investment community.
First, first, they came first, they came.
For the arbitrageas and I said nothing, for I was not an arbitrage. And then they came for the quants, which I could be. I don't know what at but I am surprised to hear this from Kevin O'Leary, a guy who's such an asshole. Wait that even the other people on Shark Tank thinks he's an asshole.
Now he's very chill.
I'm surprised to hear that he's so chill about overvaluing something that he thinks is victimless because when someone tries to do that to him.
Which one of you do, I absolutely tear to pieces. Now on a twenty eight million dollar valuation, you think this is.
Worth ten million dollars? Absolutely, now I'm going.
To rip your pieces.
Are you out of your mind?
Your valuations insane?
Your valuations crazy.
I think that's a crazy evaluation. I think your valuation is stinky poo pooh.
Oh, No, you did it.
Canadians are so vulgar. How is he not this mad about overvaluations in the real world because they are not victimless crimes. First, the bank's got paid back at lower interest rates, although, to be honest, who gives a shit. But second, money isn't infinite alone. That goes to the liar, doesn't go to someone who's giving a more honest evaluation, So the system becomes incentivized for and this is part of a different Trump fraud case, but avoiding taxes hurts
all of us. Donald Trump Shenanigan's cost the city of New York, and to be honest, and let's be frank here, that is money that the City of New York could have used to build more Walgreens. Now some blocks, only half two of them. Leave it to Kevin O'Leary to be unaware enough to say the quiet part out loud.
I hear about the so called Victimus crimes, but the laws on the books, false vacation, business records, and second degree issuing, false fancial statements, insurance fraud, conspiracy, in all these different aspects of it, those are actual crimes. I think as your point is that these should not have been prosecuted.
Everything you just listed off is done by every real estate developer everywhere on earth, in every city. This has never ever been prosecut.
There is a theory in law that if enough people commit a crime, it automatically becomes legal.
You're familiar with.
The purge, are you not? The thing entitled arrogance.
I don't know if you know this, but most people just can't commit fraud and expect to face no repercussions, even if everyone's doing it. Try getting a car loan by saying you have ten times as much money as you really do, or claim twenty dependents when you have no children, or say you make slightly less money to qualify for food assistance.
I will guarantee you there are not.
Just financial consequences for those lives, but criminal ones. But don't tell that to the investment community, because in their minds, in pursuit of profit, there is no rule that cannot be bent. There is no principle that cannot be undercut as long as you and your friends make money. And the only immoral practice hold.
On, I'm not done. If I could wait, bag the raids might chair up, I would. Apparently the only immoral practice in.
The capitalist system is to use that money for people who may need it.
Broadways and abuse people never want to be honest about but a lot of these parents will you know?
They abuse a system.
A lot of them are encouraged to abuse the system.
Where do you think the money that you get for food stamps and other things, what do you think pays that money your healthcare?
You're taking their money and you just don't seem to care. The guy who walks out of the store with a bag of food. Is he entitled to it because food is a necessity and he doesn't have enough of it?
You nutrition needing mothers, bringing out system.
To its knees.
Stealing is only justified when you already have too much. Ultimately, whether or not try he was a victim of selective prosecution, it's going to be a matter for the Supreme Court to decide. Luckily, that is an institution which still holds the trust of the American people because of its integrity.
For years, Justice Clarence Thomas has secretly accepted luxury gifts from a GOP mega donor, Harlan Crowe, gifts like private jet flights, luxury yacht cruises, and according to the report, the Supreme Court justice never reported them on annual financial disclosures.
Victimless. It's a victimless crime.
Let's begin with the ongoing legal woes of America's defendant in chief, Donald Trump. Trump has just over a week to come up with one hundred and seventy five million dollar bond in his real estate fraud case. And if he can't get it from selling shares in a social media company or borrowing from his billionaire friends, or team up with Giuliani for a sexy car wash and and this latest very classy business venture just might do the trick.
I'm proud to be partnering with my very good friend Lee Greenwood, who doesn't love his song, God Bless the USA in connection with promoting the God Bless the USA Bible.
This Bible is the King.
James version and also includes our founding for other documents. Yes, the Constitution, also the Bill of Rights, the Declaration of Independence, and the Pledge of Allegiance are all part of this. All Americans need a Bible in their home, and I have many.
It's my favorite.
Book, many, many, many. How does that thing.
Not burst into flames immediately?
Huh?
Yeah?
Trump is mashing together the Bible and the Constitution like it's a pizza hut taco bell. And I know people will say that you're not supposed to mix the Bible and the Constitution, but you have to understand is Trump has never read either of them. If we step back and look at this, Trump getting into business with God can only mean one thing. God is gonna end up bankrupt and serving a three month prison sentence for lying under oath. I mean, what's amazing about this is that
Trump just made five billion dollars on his new stock. Buddy, you're not supposed to be doing this embarrassing grifter shit when you're that rich. Just start a private space company like a normal billionaire sociopath.
You don't see Elon.
Musk selling his farts in jars to.
Perverts, do you? No?
No?
Maybe maybe I haven't looked into it.
Probably you do, but you know, I bet if I bet, yes, he probably. Let's move on, shall we. Let's move on to the big news of the day. As we've all heard by now, this morning, a cargo ship leaving Baltimore crashed into the Francis Scott Key Bridge, collapsing the entire bridge into the water. Now, early indications suggests the crash was caused by a power failure on the ship, but that's not going to stop America's professional fearmongers from blaming it on whatever's most convenient to them.
The White House says there are no indications of foul play here.
Of course, we're.
Worried about a potential terrorist attack given the wide open border.
You know, I'm no expert in what's going on in the seas, but all I would say is that If you talk to employers in America, they'll tell you that filling slots with employees who aren't drug adled is a very huge problems.
And what are we doing to make sure that we have the best infrastructure in the world so that when a ship passes by and clips the bridge, that it doesn't entirely collapse.
Alex Jones tweeting looks deliberate to me.
A cyber attack is probable.
World War three has already started, has already started.
But I am done tickets this weekend. Can I at least see it before I enlist in the war? Who are we fighting? Exactly? Is it boats?
Are we fighting the boats? You know what doesn't matter. I'll just start shooting. We'll figure it out later. You know, media figures, you are allowed to just say we're waiting for more information, right, We don't need to fill every moment of uncertainty with bullshit. It might be too early to speculate, but can we prove that this wasn't P Diddy's getaway sex barge?
Stay tuned and find out.
Look.
Of course, America's infrastructure is in need of updating, of course, but I don't think this is the proof falling down is kind of what you expect a bridge to do when a giant cargo ship slams into it. If your grandma gets body slammed by the rock, you're not gonna blame her broken bones on a ca else of deficiency. You're gonna blame it on her not bringing her a game to the rock. You gotta step it up, night of Gotta step it up. Come on, Yes, finally, finally, finally,
And some social media news. If you're a pre teen in Florida watching clips of the show on TikTok, you're about to be in a world of trouble.
We turned out to a social media showdown in Florida, Governor Ronda Santas signing a bill banning children under fourteen from having their own social media accounts.
If this law holds, Florida will have one of the most restrictive social media bands in the country. The new measure bar social media accounts for children under the age of fourteen and requires parental consent for fifteen and sixteen year olds. It also mandates that social media platform search for and remove the profiles of kids who don't meet the age requirement.
This makes me so mad. This asshole. Ronda Santus might have done something I agree with.
I mean, what wait, what does it say about me? I don't know what that says about me.
I do think maybe this law isn't a bad idea. I think we can all agree that social media is a nightmare for kids. It increases their risk of depression, It exposes them to predators, It harms concentration. It gives you a wildly unrealistic expectation of how easy it is to prepare meals. Just throwing the potato, some stallion, some boiling water, a couple of fast that it's wall beautiful dinner, and your entire family loves you. You're a great father. No,
it's not that easy. It turns out there's a lot of prep work. The videos don't show you that. They gotta blanch the onions. Then you got a Julianne the carrots. Now it's ten pm.
Your kids are starving. They hate you. Why am I supposed to be doing all the cooking anyway? I was at work all day. I'm not a failure. I'm an ty you God damn it. Hypothetically, the.
Point is if Florida teenagers are kicked off of their phones. Maybe they could focus on all the quintessential experiences of being a teen in Florida, things like wrestling a gator at prom, or going to the library and reading the four books that are still legal to read, or trying to avoid Matt Gates on your walk home from school. You know, classic Florida teen shit. Honestly, I wish Ron DeSantis had run on this when he was a presidential candidate.
This is a much better message than his platform of wearing high heels and smiling like a demon in a horror movie. There's always twenty twenty eight Ron. For more reaction on the social media van, we go to Josh Johnson in Tallahassee. Josh, I'll be honest, I don't hate this bill. I think getting kids off social media will benefit them in all sorts of ways. Kindative development, better time, mat there's been personal skills. It's gonna be great for them.
Yeah, Jordan, I couldn't agree more. And that's the problem. Okay, if you kick kids off of social while the rest of us stay on it, you're giving them a competitive advantage. How am I going to compete against a well rounded child after social media has already broken me? I have short term memory loss, bad eyesight, no attention span, crippling anxiety, short term memory loss, and according to TikTok all those symptoms mean I might be pregnant.
Okay, okay, come on.
I'm pretty sure you can compete with a fourteen year old.
I can't.
I've been staring down at the phone for twenty years. I can't even make strong eye contact.
Look stop that, stop stop doing stop doing that.
Please stop, don't stop. Don't ever do that again, Josh.
I don't know any other way.
Okay, I understand your concern, but you have to admit social media is awful for kids. They just spend all day bullying each other online.
Yeah.
I get that, but banning social media won't make the bully energy go away. It'll just redirect it to the rest of us, specifically me.
All right.
I used to live across from middle school Jordan. I basically couldn't go outside after three. I was walking home one day in shorts and a kid in a wheelchair yelled at me.
Damn, I thought my legs duh.
Okay, okay, fair, but you are an adult. You can handle a couple of accurate comments.
But there have.
Been conclusive studies that social media lowers kids self esteem.
What about my self esteem?
A child said I look like a pedophile merge with one of his victims and said that they love my performance of Fast Car at the Grammys.
Oh yeah, okay, yeah, yeah, I.
Guess I can see it.
You want to know what else they said, because they have more of the chamber.
I don't know what they said. Maybe nice suit to come in the car seats, or you're like if little Wade never wrapped, or I didn't know adults came in fund South get.
Something like that. Okay, Jordan, damn you too. I'm sorry, it's just easy. Okay. So to be clear, you're saying you opposed this bell Yes.
In fact, it should be mandatory for these kids to be on social media. Every child's face should be glued to a screen to protect me, I mean us when we walk home in Georg's.
You can't argue with that, Josh Johnson.
Everybody.
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