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With your host, Show Stewart. Hi, tlcome to the Daily Show. My name is John Stuart. We have a terrific program for you tonight. I was I hosted on Thursday, and I'm back on Monday. I just don't know how much longer I can do that. Apparently any rest just slept in the hyperback chamber. I'm going to be talking to one of my favorites tonight. A lot of Glazier is going to be Jonaills the birth. We're getting into the news, as you know, the fascinating penis themed trial of Professor
Donald Bartholomew. Trump continued today. What you might not know is that it is not the only salacious, high level government official trial going on today, because right across the street in New York's famed public corruption district, New Jersey Democratic Senator Robert Menendez. My god, Menendez turned heel. They're not booing, They're well, they were booing. Yes, that's it. He faced his first day of reckoning.
Federal prosecutors alleged the former chair of the powerful Senate Foreign Relations Committee, conspired with his wife, Nadine, to accept bribes from a trio of wealthy businessmen in exchange forolitical favors to help the governments of Cutter and Egypt.
The powerful senator allegedly pressured the Department of Agriculture to help an associate maintain a monopoly on the importation of halal meat to the United States.
I don't mean to get sentimental here, but in what other country in the world can a Cuban American senator we're canned in hand with an Egyptian born businessman to corner the halal meat market.
Living in America. But yes, Senator Menendez is accused of using his access and influence as a senator to illegally help a variety of shady governments and clients. But what evidence do we really have?
Federal agents the Menendez home in June twenty twenty two, finding over four hundred and eighty thousand dollars in cash.
Two bags filled with one hundred thousand dollars each.
One hundred thousand dollars worth of gold bars Hayman's toward a mortgage.
The Mercedes Benz convertible.
Furniture, exercise equipment, even in air purifier. Four boots stuffed.
With cash, cash even found in the senator's embroidered congressional jacket.
Sacrilege. Cash in the lining of a congressional jacket, which oddly enough is reversible. But the money is in his house, and his jacket, in his boots, he's lining in his pockets, but none of it ties the money to Menendez or Egypt.
The indictment says, upon returning from one trip to Egypt, Menendez performed a web search for how much is one kilo of gold worth? Damn you metric system.
I would have gotten away with the two and who went for your meddling kids in your base ten system of measurements and weights. There could be a lot of reasonable, benign explanations for why a senator's house would be stuffed with cash and gold bars, home heating insulation perhaps, or something stupider.
According to The New York Times, his lawyers now offering a new explanation as to why he had thousands of dollars in gold in cash in his home. They say that the habit is rooted in traumatic family history.
These are simply my emotional support gold balls whenever I am Whenever I am not with them, I get anxious. People respond to trauma in different ways. Now, when it comes to any trial, the first step, of course, and we've seen this play out endless times finding an impartial jury.
Defense attorneys have proposed asking perspective jurors if they have opinions about people from New Jersey and do they think that because they are from New Jersey that they're more likely to break the law?
You motherfucks, you bury one union leader at your football stadium whilst running a human organ trafficking ring through some secauca's rabbis, and suddenly a whole state is a suspect. You believe this tone? Huh tone? You believe this anti New Jersey discrimination, That's what it is. So obviously this is shaping up to be one of the more cartoonishly
blatant corruption cases in some time. Jersey guy with gold bars stuffed in his jacket and a nice freezer of some halal meats, anything else that might speak to the general character of this.
United States Senator Menendez has denied any wrongdoing. According to court filings, his lawyers indicate he may try to blame his wife.
Yes, it's those three magic words that every woman is dying to hear. It was her, she did it. You know. I feel a lot worse for her if she wasn't also demonstrably a terrible person. But perhaps read up on it. Perhaps I can't explain everything right now. I'll just say this an awful but perhaps the dumbest thing about this entire not quite believable Real Housewives episode is how unnecessary it all is. You, sir, are an elected official in
America's most respected legislative body. It's like a license to print money. You don't need to break the law so cartoonishly when the legal corruption in the Senate is so lucrative, Which brings us to our new segment, Senator Robert Menendez, how dumb is you, as a New Jersey residence, as a constituent of yours? Senator Menetez, I have to ask, with all due respect, how dumb is you promising favors to foreign entities for a little chump change on the side.
It's bush league when as a US Senator you can enrich yourself in so many different let's call them legal ways. For instance, the stock market, members of Congress's stock portfolios consistently beat the SMP five hundred.
The average hedge fund was beating the market at seven percent.
The study found that the average US senator was beating a stock market by twelve percent. The average US senator. And if you think it's because the average US senator is just so smart, this is the average US Senator Tommy Tummerville, an ex football coach who doesn't know the three branches of government. Oh but when it comes to the stock market, he sees the matrix. How do they do it well? The secret is a shrewd understanding of
the intricate interconnectivity of global markets. I'm kidding they have inside information.
California Congressman Democrat the named Alan Lowenthal, his wife sold cheers of Boeing March fifth of twenty twenty. The very next day, the committee on which he serves in the House released a damaging report on the Boeing seven thirty seven.
Max, Oh my.
God, what timing you see that? See? The rest of us only find out about Boeing's problems as we're being sucked out of the fuselage meg flight to fly out over the way you're flying in the air over the weeks, Sal, Sal, I don't think they're good. And it happens all the time. North Carolina Senator Richard Burr received a private briefing in twenty twenty about how bad the COVID pandemic was going to be for America, and he immediately sold off his stocks,
saving himself a small fortune. Of course, he had a reasonable explanation.
We wanted to ask you about those stock trades back in February of twenty twenty.
You know, the SEC says that you had a material non public information.
When you made those trades.
I did look at what you put out. How is that not insider training. I'm so sorry, sir. I wanted to answer your question. If only there was a button that kept these elevator doors open, I don't. By the way, for those of you at home who don't have a gold plated elevator, you can avoid these types of questions yourself just by pretending to take the stairs. Oh I'm sorry, I can't be told that I must go. I'll take
the elevator back up. I would do that bit more, but my knees as soon as I did the first one, because I didn't do it in rehearsal. I did it just now, and I was like, that's not a good idea. That's one of those who are like, stop the taping and pull me back up. Now you might be wondering yourself,
how does Congress get away with all this? Well, it may be because Congress is regulated by let me check my notes, Congress, and it's Congress that has refused to even hold a vote on the bills that have been proposed to ban members of Congress from trading stocks, because not letting members of Congress inside or trade would be an American listen to one of the biggest beneficiaries of this stock windfall.
You should members of Congress and their spouses feed ban and trading individual stocks.
While serving in Congress.
Now, I don't know to the second mind, this is a free market in people, we are a free market economy that should be able to participate in that ah free market. Excuse me, misfigure. I don't mean to interrupt. I'm Martha Seward from the Why did I go to jail? Times? Figure? Why did I go to jail? But here's the thing. In a free market, everyone has access to the same information. So unless you're going to put all of us on the committees. I don't get it now. To be fair,
Congress does have rules against corruption. Members of Congress are not allowed to receive what might be viewed as enticements or bribes from obvious no free concert tickets. They cannot accept food, baked good sandwiches, et cetera. It just would not be proper. But in Congress's infinite wisdom, they do allow organizations to set up what are called leadership packs, where a congress person can turn political donations from lobbyists
into slush funds. A pharma lobbyist cannot buy a senator a panini and some niquill, but through the pack they can pay for five star hotels for Kirsten jillibrand luxury resorts for Ted Cruz, and even golf lessons for Rand Paul. It's all in Einrain's famous book at lis Puttage, it's corruption, really, that's molliterate crowd. I read that in Cottage, Eckson, this
is corruption in plain sight. We won't accept gifts, but if I want to have a luxury experience and you would like to pay for it, and then join me on set experience where we can discuss issues important to you and your industry. Who's the wiser, right, Senator Mike Lee of Utah.
Shortly after this slopes side lunch for twenty two friends, we decided to.
Ask Senator Mike Lee and why he's doing this. Politicians raise funds, and this is what we do. I just want to keep like this. I enjoy skame and thank you very much. Yeah, thanks a lot. From now on, I am ending every uncomfortable conversation I ever have about
anything with I enjoys game, good day. But but our luxury lobbying vacation is still too much work, Senator Menendez, because you could always write laws that directly benefit your side business, like the way Senator Chuck Grassley netted three hundred and seventy thousand dollars in farm subsidies, or the five point three million dollars the California Rep. Doug LaMalfa got for his gentleman farm. And by the way, for that much money, you better be growing actual fking gentlemen.
It's all legal and not a gold bar in sight. Or you can leverage your stature and government to get lucrative lobbying positions for your wife and your three kids, like Missouri Senator Roy Blunt. I don't even understand why that would be a question. Everybody's family said, My father was a corporate lobbyist, like his father and his father
before him. Yes, everybody's family does something. For instance, your daughter might receive unusually green lighted Chinese patents, or your son in law might receive billions and no questions asked Saudi Investment, or your son might get a lucrative seat on a corporate board. Let's hear Hunter explain that one away. If your last name was in Biden, do you think you would have been asked to be on the board of Barisma? I don't know, I don't know. Probably not.
Holy shit, out of all the senators and representatives who dodged and prevent rricated and wouldn't answer any questions. You know you're in trouble when the most honest and transparent person in a story of government corruption is the ex crackhead.
Yeah, now you might.
I don't know. I don't know if I like John Stewart anymore. Malliam. Now you might think someone should step in and stop Congress from being able to enrich themselves. Perhaps a Supreme Court. Well, it will come as no surprise that the same guys who think it's fine to accept a luxury winnebago from a wealthy businessman have made
it much harder to police corruption. In a decision called McDonald versus the United States, they said that the appearance of corruption is not nearly enough for it to be considered against the law. It must be.
This very narrow quid quo idea.
You know, I'm going to give you kind of like a cartoonish sack of money in exchange for an actual vote.
Whilst twirling my handlebar mustache at every turn. Our Congress and our courts have been given a choice, be less corrupt or redefine what constitutes corruption and get on with your bad selves. It's a game of reverse limbo. Having trouble getting under the bar of corruption we've set, well, how about now? Robert Menendez's gold bars in exchange for
favorable legislation is obviously cartoonishly corrupt. But for anyone out there who thinks the status quo of government patronage and influence is of an entirely different species than Menendez, how dumb is you?
When we come back, A lot of waves were joining the first day life right back to the Dallas Oh my God tonight. She's an actor and a comedian.
She co wrote and coach. She co wrote, stars in the new film Babes, Who's Walking. A lot of guys are please? Are most of all?
No?
I love you.
I just love you, John Stewart, I love you a lot of good and boy, this movie is so good, thank you, and it's so funny, and you're so good in it and I'm just I'm thrilled to death for you. Thank you.
Yeah, it's a are you excited for? It's coming out? When is it coming out?
It's coming out in select cities May seventeenth, and expands and expands the twenty fourth.
Then did you yourself personally select?
No, just the demographics, you know, So.
Alana Glazer didn't say I would like to go to Louisville with mamouver. It's the relationships. So it's it's yourself, it's Michelle Bouteaux, and it's Hassimna plays her husband, and he's the most wonderful husband. It's not believable.
They are such a delicious couple. And also, like Michelle keeps saying, it's giving such queens. We look like we grew up in Queen's together.
It really does. I have to tell you though, Like at the end, I'm not going to give any away, but like I did get at like tiary.
Yeah, good like it?
Oh yeah, why would you do that?
You feel your feeling?
I was feeling my feelings. What about your feelings? Not only is this about the mom? You're the mom? You had your Mother's Day?
I was actually we were doing a Q and A screening in Lincoln Square. I was with Julie Louis Dreyfuss. I was like, happy Mother's Day to me.
Dog. So I got to yeah, yeah, thats Q and A for us.
I was like, thank you girl.
Okay, so she doesn't live there.
At the Lincoln Square AMC.
No, That's what I'm wondering.
No, but I'm so glad you liked it.
Yeah, it's really And how did was it strange to sit in the theater and watch it go down?
Didn't scadaddled? After the Q and A.
You don't watch the people watch the movie?
Well, you know, I've seen it a bunch of times. We did the test screenings too, and it was like in Burbank or whatever, they lured people at the mall to come see the movie and you know, give us feedback. And so I've just seen it so many times and I just watched it in la At like a little private screening, and we have tomorrow the premiere.
So how did they do? How do they lure So I did that once? And what do they do to lure them? Because I think they should use gummies?
Yeah, I think they use gummies. I think that's legal.
Now.
I think I think people need work. They lure them with employment in an employment based insurance system.
So people are just desperate and they like to have the opinions? Do they after something like that happens, they come does the company come to you and say, Phil, yes from kIPS Bay for sure, said do they really?
Yeah, oh yeah, they definitely care about their the people's opinion, which I do too, and like also, you take some stuff with the grain of salt. Sometimes they're like it was really gross, and it's like, yeah, well, you know, you just don't usually see women talk like this or experience pregnancy through their own voice, So I could see why you think it's gross.
That's the perspective of the relationship between you and Michelle. Yeah, so lovely and easy and just natural.
And we've been friends for twenty years, oh for real, for truly twenty years. So you know she is likesurreal Oh big titty.
Just oh we are dead, we are dead.
Just Michelle loves top titty meat, our top titty meat, just spilling over just.
Twenty years.
She is effervescent. She is effervescent. She is she is effervescent.
She is vibrant top titty meat. John Stewart, you know what I mean. But you know, to be honest, to be honest, like this is this is how women talk. Yes, And you know when we first sent this script out, I wrote this with the we My mom just called you backstage, the number one mench. You're like number two compared to Joshua or Minowitt who wrote this.
You wrote this.
Sorry, you got to meet him number one. Such a mench. And you know, when we were and Susie Fox, our producer, as we were writing this and collaborating it, we put a list together of the most surprising and absurd experiences we were having becoming parents, and we couldn't believe that these things hadn't been covered in film, you know, And we send the script out sort of to the industry or whatever to see if anybody wants to make it.
And you know, some people got it, and then some people found it like really gross, really blue, and it's like, no, it's just real. This is how women talk to each other and this is what pregnancy is.
You know, you get well, that is the thing about it as you watch it as someone who is non woman. I don't know if that's the term we're using.
Now, whatever you say becomes the culture being.
It was yes, you ate and left no crumbs. Oh my daughter, and she has me say it at times out of context.
Nice.
Nice. It's brutally embarrassing, but it really the repartee, the way that you guys talk, the friendship that around it comes so naturally to the characters that it's incredibly infectious. And you just also the fis you guys are like the just dirty dirty Laverne in Shirley, Like it is so Yeah. Like the physical comedy as well is also such a big part of this. Yeah.
I mean I think like women are dying to just be themselves, you know, And it's like, weirdly we're in this time increasingly where our bodies are more and more policed and it's it's just funny what people are like. This is a raunch, calm, shocking, and I'm like, I'm a woman.
You ever laughed with the woman?
You know? Can I? It is? I gotta tell you like and then if you guys run as all? Can I can I give away at least one line? Can I say? On street you can do whatever you One of my favorite lines is the whole thing. She has this incredible sort of relationship with this gentleman. Uh, and it's it's really this lovely kind of walk through your evening. And it ends with they're both obviously feeling very amorous, and Alana turns to him and says, uh, let's ruin
some towels. Yeah, I was just like scorre awesome.
Thank you.
Shout out to Shout out to Stefan James who plays that actor, and the incredible cast, Oliver Platt, Sandra Bernhardt, John Carol Lynch, Hassen Manhaj the Lucas Brothers fan favorite.
Lucas Brothers are They're really funny.
Incredible, And Dragona is played by Elena Spinskaya. Can you believe Dragona.
Dragana was Yeah?
First movie ever? Can I tell what yes, girl, first movie ever?
Are you serious? Slate crush?
It goes back to her like spot you know every take and it was just like, thank you?
Is there anything more fun? And talking about a movie that they haven't seen yet? There's very little I enjoy more than the secret information that you and I have that they dude, I imagine the Appenheimer people did that. They'd come around and they go, you know what he said to Einstein and the audience would be like, I don't know what the movie is?
Should I give a summary?
Do you want to give give a summary? Please?
Okay? So?
Yes, So this movie is about two best friends who are in very different points in their lives. Dawn, who's played by Michelle Buteaux, has two kids and a husband, and my character Eden is single and a free spirit and gets knocked up and decides to keep the baby, and their friendship is tested thereafter and hilarity and also Pathos Pathos mad Pathos, mad man mad Pathos.
Crumbs, no crumbs. I just love me so much, and you're so good and everything you do is just filled with just bangers after bangers, like just the lines are so funny and your stuff is so good and for God's sakes, woman, Oh it.
Is my honorable pleasure.
My heroes, stop it, babes will be in Theking of This Bird May seventeen. A lot of Glazer Quick quick, go chalk it tonight before we go, we check in with your host for the rest of this week. Dasy Li to doi je in your direction, Jessie, what do you got for us this week?
Well, tomorrow night is the w NBA season opener in Caitlin Clark's big debut, which actually reminds me I just I need to apologize to her real quick, Caitlin. I am so sorry that my hosting week is overshadowing your big night. I don't get to choose when I host. It's just on rotation, you know. But I promise I am not trying to pull focus. I'm a girl's girl, Okay, I.
Got your back. Sure, there's going to be the room for everybody that night, and people could maybe you know, tune into both.
Maybe or maybe the w NBA pushes the start of the season back a week. I think that would be better for her.
Yeah, I don't know if we're gonna do that. Daisy Lion to Coast in all this reg word of the moment of Vett. I don't think that's.
Got That's Hannibal Lecter, the legendary Hannibal Elector, and they're coming into our country now, totally unchecked, unvetted. That's Hannibal Lecture, Hannibal Lecter.
The Silence of the Lamb stuff. You know, Hannibal Lecter was from an state asylum. Silence of the Lamb?
Has anyone ever seen the silence of the lamps? The late Great Hannibal Elector is a wonderful man.
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