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The Daily Show presents Indecision.
Twenty twenty four, the first presidential debate America watches through its fingers with your host John Stewart show.
My room is John Stewart. Thank you aus so very much for joining us. We are coming to you live.
You may say, we just watched what you watched.
We just witnessed a debate between President Joseph Robinette Biden versus former President Donald Robinette Trump.
Was a highly anticipated affair, according to the network that was running it.
The first Biden Trump Debate a little over one month away.
Right here on.
CNN, we are less than two weeks away from the first presidential.
Debate, just one week from today.
Welcome to the.
First work day of the most important week of the presidential campaign.
Three days and counting, just two days now.
We're about thirty hour, thirty ish hours, just over twenty four hours.
Twelve and a half hours.
Say the words, It's.
Debate day in America.
The candidates must have been so excited to know that they haven't missed it. Imagine old man Biden opening his window and shouting at the street below.
You that boy, what day is today? Why it's debate day?
Then there's still time prepare the debate, goose. Prior to the event, what did the political class believe would be the criteria for each candidate to be successful in the debate?
First, Donald Trump?
Trump has to show that he's not going to end democracy.
Don't respond in a way that the suburban mothers wouldn't.
Like, donateterrupt Joe Biden, don't take debate, don't look like a bully, don't get angry, portray normalness.
Can't you just pretend to be normal for ninety minutes? How is that advice for a presidential debate?
And not what you would say to your parents when you bring home a date for the first time?
Can you not talk about January sixth?
And please don't do your Asian voice.
I really like this girl. But that's Trump.
Surely the expectations on President Biden will be higher.
He absolutely cannot have a senior moment, a physical or verbal stumble him forgetting something.
Any of his kind of freezing moments.
Stay alert, to stay engaged, and to stay awake.
President Biden has to show that he can stand there for an extended period of time, remain.
Upright, remain.
Up right to be president.
You know, I may be mistaken, but I believe those are the same qualifications needed to be scarecrow. Tonight the president must show in the country that he can keep our corn safe. But then it was time for the actual debate. And let's see how it began. Both men came out and oh yes, okay, And then of course both men are ambulatory.
They are both upright. Level one cleared.
It's going to be an important discussion between two important men.
What are the rules?
You want to share the rules of the debate with the audience at home.
Each candidate will have two minutes to answer a question and one minute each for responses and rebuttals.
What can you do it? Two minute?
I can't even articulate. What's wrong with your entire setup to this debate? An add break to watch a Hulu show is three minutes?
What can you do in two minutes?
But all right, that's gonna winno out anything that might be interesting or substance.
But let's begin.
We know the bar that's been set up for each to pass. Biden has to not look old and not have a senior moment.
Making sure that we're able to make every single solitary person eligible for what I've been able to do with the with the COVID, I excuse me with dealing with everything we have to do with what if we finally beat medicare?
Thank you, President Biden.
I need to call a real estate agent in New Zealand. Okay, high pressure situation. A lot of times you can confuse saving medicare with beating it. I'm sure it's not something that repeated throughout the debate, causing Democrats across the country to either jump out of windows or vomited silently into the nearest recycling Then anybody can talking.
How did Biden do? Not talking?
How close the police are there almost every police group in the nation from every state, and everybody wanted.
To get it back to the States everybody.
And China nothing, and Russia nothing, and India nothing.
I will have that reporter out.
He should have had him out a long time ago, because I didn't have legislation.
I said, close the border.
We had the safest border in history.
Not great, but.
A lot of people have resting twenty fifth Amendment face I'm not a political expert, but while Biden was preparing at Camp David for a week, did anyone mention he would also be on camera on the on the split screen. Is there any moment here that can save Biden.
This is the first presidential election since the Supreme Court overturned Rob Wade.
Oh shit, we're back, baby.
Abortion ain't to the B to the O, to the AWE, to the T to the.
The repeal of Rov Wade. That is Trump's weakest issue.
It's been a great thing. Oh he is. It's a great thing.
Hit him, Joey, I'm a terrible thing. What you're doing, it's this is awesome. We are done here TK.
Oh no, no, no, Joe, don't.
Say anything else.
Don't.
The idea that states are able to do this is a little like saying we're going to turn civil rights back to the states. Let each state have a different rule. Look, there's so many young women who have been including a young woman who just was murdered and he went to the funeral. The idea that she was murdered by an immigrant coming in they talk about that.
Did you just immigration? Abortion?
Yeah?
I know, abortion is one of our strongest issues, but let me for a moment talk about immigrant skilling.
And right big people. It's one of the weakest folks.
I think sportsmanship would insist that an opponent not sees on a opportunities such as this.
There have been many young women murdered by the same people he allows to come across our border.
So how do we do this? Now?
Do I take his car back to the White House tonight? I mean, come on, we done with this shit? Do I use ups his stuff? Let mean, come on, that was crazy what he did just now. So Biden perhaps not on top of his game. Maybe I will check out this young upstart Donald Trump. Obviously, the election is a binary choice, so let me see what this Trump fella is about. As we learned earlier, he just had to come in there and not be an asshole.
She doesn't care about our veterans.
He doesn't care.
He doesn't like the military at all. Probably the worst administration in history, the worst presidency in the history of our country.
This shouldn't be a debate.
He is the worst president. I really don't know what he said at the end of this.
I don't think he knows what he said or either he.
Challenge me to a golf match.
He can't hit about fifty yards.
Does not appear to have passed the asshole test. See me after debate. All right, Trumper, what do you got on substance?
We're the greatest economy in the history of our country. A lot of credit for the military and no wars and so many other things.
Everything was rock and good.
But the thing we never got the credit for and we should have, is getting us out of that COVID mess. He allowed millions of people to come in here from prisons, jails, and mental institutions. The only jobs he created are for illegal immigrants. We had the lowest taxes ever. I didn't have sex.
With a porn star. She was a porn character actor at best. I'm not saying she couldn't open a movie. But so, just so we're.
All clear, everything that Donald Trump said in that clip is a lie, blatant and full. And we were tight on time putting this together. There's plenty more. It really makes you wonder, what's RFK Junior doing tonight. Maybe he's got something. Wait, what's up? I'm sorry? Oh, vaccines, No, I see that's but yeah, sure, there's side effects to all of them.
Okay, and a wormware.
Okay, fair enough, he's vice president shill running.
They donated, okay, anyway, There was, of course a moment where I kind of thought we were getting substantive.
I was recently in France for D Day and I spoke all about those heroes that died. I went to the World War II cemetery, World War One cemetery.
He refused to go to.
He was standing with his four star general and he told me, said, I don't want to go in there because they are a much of a loser and suckers. My son was not a loser, was not a sucker. You're the sucker.
You're the loser. Shit just got real.
The first of all, that was a made up quote, a.
Made up quote, which I think a trump land means. That's a real quote. That's a quote.
But there's about our nation's veterans. Foreign policy. This is important to Biden.
Come on, brother, the war star general stand your side, was on your staff.
Who said you said it period.
We've done more for veterans than any president has in American history. The only sacred obligation we have as the country is to care for our veterans when they come home and their families and equip them when they go to war.
That's what we're doing.
That's what the VA is doing. Now, they're doing more for veterans than ever before in our history.
All Right, thank you so much for it.
Let's move to the topic of foreign policy.
Wait what, move on? No, we don't move stay on that topic. Not move on, dot No, don't go moving on.
Who came up with these dumb ass ules and why would any of these people agree to them. The one thing that we did prove tonight is that the MAGA conspiracy theory about Biden's upcoming debate performance was nonsense.
A little before debate time, he gets a shot.
In the ass.
They are giving the president some sort of a stimulant, an add drug adderall riddling.
New drugs that are out there that are specifically for Alzheimer's or Parkinson's, A lot.
Of caffeine pills E. Twelve debate viagriate.
Well, certainly there are drugs that can be used to energize a person in that state.
I apologize for how fast I'm talking now.
I'm on those drugs. Let me just say, after watching tonight's debate, both of these men should be using performance enhancing drugs. I'm sorry, boy, as much of it as they can get, as many times a day as their bodies will allow. If performance enhancing drugs will improve their lucidity, their ability to solve problems, and, in one of the candidate's cases, improve their truthfulness, morality and malignant narcissism.
Then suppository away. That's what everybody.
They should be taken whatever magical drugs can kick their brains into gear. Because this ain't Olympic swimming, you know what I'm saying. Oh, he solved the Middle East, but he was doping, so it doesn't doubt there's gonna be an asterisk next to his presidency. And by the way, if those drugs don't exist, if there aren't actually performance enhancing drugs for these candidates, I could sure use some recreational ones right now because this cannot be real life.
It just can't.
We're America, God, we glory, gott lead.
We'll be joining us. Don't go away? What about the Daily Show? Now?
Now, My guest tonight, in an incredibly prescient booking by our talent people, is a psychotherapist.
HM fancy that.
Best selling author of Maybe You Should talk to Someone, A dear therapist, columnist for The Atlantic, Please welcome to the program.
Lori Gottlieb, please on the seage dot. You're probably wondering why I've called you here tonight.
Yes, well, my therapist clearly turned off his phone, so I'm sure.
Now are you expecting as a therapist on occasions like this, they always say, you know, the Super Bowl, people get so angry and they're rooting for their teams and there's a huge uptick in arguments and violence and all kinds of other things. Do you expect something similar for an event like this.
Well, I think that a lot of people are going to be having arguments. They don't know there's going to be domestic violence, but I think there's definitely going to be a lot of arguments happening with friends, families, workplaces, all of it.
And you think, because this is a time when the country is really focused on this and there's really no way to escape it, and so whatever schisms are there are going to be exacerbated.
I think they are.
And also just because we're so polarized, and I think that people don't know how to have conversations about the issues. It doesn't even become about the issues anymore as we just saw.
But we are siloed.
Isn't the siloing of the nation and keep us from having to have those conversations because you don't really run into those people that you disagree with too much except on Thanksgiving.
Well, I think you run into them on social media, and I think that that's where a lot of this is happening. And then people's people get very upset by what they're seeing on social media. And I can understand when we look at the rates of anxiety and depression. You know, we say in therapy, before diagnosing someone with depression, make sure they aren't surrounded by assholes. Right, So I'm not going to name who those assholes?
Is that really a thing? Like I have depression and you're like.
Wow, Well, sometimes like I understand.
Ook at who drove you here, look at who sent you here?
Because the people who come to therapy are are the people who are coming to therapy, because the people who should be in therapy are not coming to therapy.
That just blew my mind.
So this is people are coming because they feel they don't have an outlet for their frustrations and the only outlet they might have social media is toxic.
Well, I think that what you see on social media again is a lot of this sort of you know, name calling, and and again there's not a lot of nuance, there's not a lot of complexity. It's a lot of just people fighting. It was like that golf exchange, you know, on the debate. It's those kinds of things where people are talking about completely irrelevant things or they're just uninformed. And I think that people.
Uninformed and irrelevant a presidential debate. How do you deal with there is an existential fear to this. I mean, for social media to keep people engaged, for news organizations to keep people watching, they have to ramp up the urgency and the existential nature of the crisis. So you're sort of torn between.
These two impulses.
One is to not participate, which would be addocating civic responsibility, but the other would be to base yourself in this existential crisis.
What choice do you have?
Well, we do have a choice because so look at anxiety. There's productive anxiety and unproductive anxiety. So well, think about it, if you didn't have anxiety, you wouldn't be able to be safe. That's why we have anxiety. It was like there's a bear. You better have anxiety. Your unproductive anxiety is I'm just going to stand here. Productive anxiety is I'm going to do something about this.
See that's so.
Weird because my anxiety has never saved me from bears, but it often convinces me I'm not lovable.
So how how.
I shared too much?
How do you just going to say?
How do you suffer? I watched it.
I didn't want to watch the debates tonight, but I do work once a week now, so I have to because that's it's toxic to me. I know that I have to participate. But how does that anxiety of watching it? How is that a relic of something.
That's good for me?
It's good for you because then you can take action. By the way, I hope you're taking action on the unlovable thing. I hope you're getting some help.
With that little thing called mushrooms baby micro dos away.
Sorry, but it's helpful because you say, Okay, there are two ways you can respond to this. You can say I'm gonna put my head in the sand and not engage, which is I hope not the option that people here are taking. And you can also say, oh, I'm just spinning an anxiety, I'm doom scrolling, I'm just you know, getting all worked up. Yes, that's not helpful, that's unproductive anxiety. And then there's productive anxiety where you say what can
I do well? You can get involved in a campaign, you can volunteer, you can please vote, you can get the people around you to vote. There are things that you can do. The thing that you want to do is you want to say what can I control here? And that's where you take your anxiety and you say it's going to motivate me to do something productive.
Does sitting in your underwear, screaming at the tea the account as action, No.
Doc, you're losing me here.
Have you seen an effect of this on relationships, on marriages, on families?
Have you want?
Is this separating people at a much deeper, more emotional level than what we're understanding.
Yes. Absolutely.
You know, when I see couples in therapy, often when they come in, the person, you know, you say what's going on, and the person wants something to change, But what they want to change is the other person, the
person sitting right there. Sure they don't think I want to change myself or I have a role in this, and I see that in what happens around these political conversations is that people don't say, oh, maybe I am not being curious about why they think what they think, or I'm not really getting to the bottom of it, and I'm just you know, we're just yelling at each other about this.
Are you seeing this in couple in married couples where paulics has driven a wedge to them that is that they can't overcome.
Or absolutely, how do you traverse a political conversation with a couple?
Yeah, Well, there's this great phrase in therapy. It's saying, I wonder. So it starts with I wonder, I got it, I wonder you know. It's kind of like, you know, I wonder if instead of taking another drink, maybe you should take a walk when you're feeling sad right as.
We unfortunately it's a live show. We're out of time. I always say I use that all the time. I wonder why you're such an asshole?
Check out Laurie's book.
Maybe you just go up to someone for calling in the Atlantic, I'm got me.
That is our shark tonight here it is. The moment is that John Berman joins us now from inside the debate Hall.
So, John, how's it working. What's it like?
Well, twenty four hours from now, in a few minutes, Anderson, you're gonna have a president and a former president standing on the same stage.
Pretty close to each other.
These luck turns are just eight feet apart. I can basically touch them at the same time with my arms out.
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