You're listening to Comedy Central. Wow from New York City, the only city in America gets the show The Invention News. It's The Daily Show with your host, John Leguizamo. Yo, Yo, Yo, what's up? What's up? Welcome to The Daily Show. I'm John Leguizamo, and Yo, it's my last day here. Yeah, but it's been amazing, man, I've just been having so much fun goofin speaking out on topics I care about. There's no amount of money that could match this feeling.
But if you're feeling generous, and I also take venmo. All Right, we've got a great show for you tonight. So let's get into the headlines. All right. You know, we've had such a heavy week of news, so I thought, you know, we'd wrap up things this week with some lighthearted news that's really going to put a smile on your face. We're interrupting this package right now because we have some breaking news and it is historic news out
of lowerman hand. Right now, a federal jury, a grand jury, has voted to indict former President Trump, the first time ever that a former president has been criminally traveling. Yeah, yeah, that's right. I've as my chair. Yeah yeah, that's right, that's right, that's right. Lady Justice grabbed Trump by the pussy. And you know, I take a firm stance against mass incarceration, Okay, but for this, I'm going to make an exception. I just hope they take it easy on him and put
him at least in a cell with his lawyer. But hey, let this be a lesson to all your kids out there. Okay, if you commit fraud to cover up an affair with a point star, the law will catch up to you after like seven years and and a full term as president. Now, I know we're all hoping to see him put in handcuffs, but we don't know how it's all going to go down. The report is that they're going to try to negotiate his surrender, either that or the leave a trail of
Big Max leading to the president. And you know, a lot of pundits like Lindsey Graham are saying this is going to be good for Trump, But mother, why don't you get arrested and see if it's good for you? Shit. Anyway, we don't know when this will actually arrest him or how it's going to pan out, but hey, maybe going to prison might be good for Trump, maybe what he needs because at least in prison, he'll be able to pursue his greatest passions, reading, working out, and converting to Islam.
All right, there's still other stuff going on, So let's shift gears and talk about Fox News. I know, look, I know, but you know what, I think they've gotten a bad rap. No, seriously, everyone's saying that they're just propaganda. But I think that's all a misunderstanding. In fact, in fact, if you can prove to me that Fox News is
intentionally lying to its viewers, I'll shave my beard. Another stunning new filing in the dominion lawsuit against Fox newly revealed email showing Fox News chief executive Suzanne Scott lashing out in an email after a correspondent fact checked Trump's Electionalize, she said this has to stop and goes on and say this is a bad business and there clearly is a lack of understanding what is happening in these shows. The audience is furious, and we are just feeding them
material bad for business. Yep, yep, that'll teach me. I guess I lost. But yeah, Fox News got mad at their fact checker. I didn't even know they had a fact checker. You know, it's like hearing there's a head of diversity at the KKK. And secondly, what kind of news network gets mad when their journalists do the journalism. I mean, one of the reporters could win a Potzer prize in his boss would be like, do you know
how Baptist looks for us? You better go out there on air and say Hillary Clinton is a vampire lesbian. You're gonna be fired. You know. I can't wait to see what other things Fox admits to in these emails. I mean, we're a few weeks away from finding out Sean Handy does a drag story hour at his local kindergarten. Yeah. Yeah. And finally, let's move on to a big story about artificial intelligence. I know, I know everyone's scared of it, but you know what, I think AI has gotten a
bad rap. No, No, seriously, In fact, if you can show me that any actual experts in technology are worried that AI is going to take over the world, I'll shave my pubes. This morning a warning from Elon Musk and other tech industry experts about the power of artificial intelligence. Musk and hundreds of influential names, including Apple co founder Steve Wolsniak are calling for a pause and experiments, saying AI poses a dramatic risk to society unless there's proper oversight.
Tech industry leaders pose these existential questions. Should we develop non human minds that might eventually outnumber outsmart, obsolete and replace us? Should we risk loss of control of our civilization? Musk and others are asking developers to stop the training of AI systems more powerful than GPT four for at least six months so that safety protocols can be established. I gotta stop making these stupid promises before I got
to news clips. But yes, that's right. AI is getting too powerful as soon as it knows how to pick which of these images as a bike? Now for more on AIS threat Team Manity, we go live to chat GPT headquarters where Desi led Dick is joining us. Wow, Wow, Desi, Desi, why does it look like you're dressed for a war? Because I am dressed for a war, and also there was a sale of Dick's sporting goods, but mostly the war thing. Look, it is us versus the machines and
it's time to pick a side. DESI, why are you so eager? To go to war with AI. Come on, John, war with the machines is inevitable, so let's do it now while it's still a chat bot, instead of waiting until it's a bloodthirsty kill bot. If there's one thing that I learned from working at Chuck E Cheese, it's a lot easier to fight a child than it is an adult. I don't know, I don't know, Desi. War with AI sounds like a really bad idea. No way,
war with AI would give humanity a common purpose. We are so divided right now, Russia versus Ukraine, Democrats versus Republicans, Selena Gomez fans versus Hailey bieber Fan. But now it's US versus the machines versus Hailey bieber Fan. Hey, Desi, but AI is getting more powerful by the day. What if we start this war then immediately lose it. I'm pretty sure you never lose a war that you start. But if we do, then we're going out together, John, You and me in a bunker with two cyanide pills.
I take them both and you strangle yourself with your bare hands. Oh come on, couldn't I have one of those sinite pills? Oh? No? It was my idea. I get them both. Oh come on, DESI, you're getting ahead of yourself. For all we know, AI could lead human into like a new golden age of something. Oh sweet, John Sweet, naive pugelists, John Lewis, take it from me. Humans and robots can never coexist. It's like I said
to my manager at Chuck E Cheese. I'd rather die on my feet than live one more day in this animatronic hellscape. So clean the piss out of the ball pit yourself, Doug, I quit, DESSI like like everybody along. When we come back, we'll talk about what's really happening at the border. So don't go away, all right, Welcome back to the Daily Show tonight. I want to talk about the scariest topic you'll ever hear about on the campaign trail, the Southern Border. Wait, sorry, that was the
wrong sound effect. The Southern Border, Shane should I'm not so scary. It's all about how you frame it, because whenever Americans here about the border is always so negative. But the truth is, America's southern border has a rich history, steeped and cross cultural pollination, because for thousands of years, that area has been the Grand central station of the continent. In fact, for over a century, America had no barrier at all on its border, and when they finally put
one up, it had nothing to do with people. In the early nineteen hundreds, ticks are causing disease among cows and rural areas. Those cows are crossing back and forth over the border, So the first ever border fence is actually built to keep cows from spreading disease. That's right, the first border fence was to keep out ticks. It's the one time it wasn't racist to say we got to stop these filled the animals from coming over here. And that's just one of the many things people get
wrong when it comes to America's southern border. So I thought tonight you could separate border myths from border facts and another installment of Long Story Short Look, we can talk about numbers or figures or demographics, but the immigration debate is never about facts. It's about fear. Hordes of machetti wielding illegals are poring over the borders to take your job and put fittonel in your guacamole. That's why it's always cost extra yo. This type of rhetoric isn't
meant to solve any problems. It's meant to dehumanize immigrants into zombie criminals, because then all you'll want to do is build the wall. The phrase made famous by the man who might have to hold his next inauguration in prison cafeteria. Most illegal immigration is coming from our southern border. We will build a great wall, and we will stop illegal immigration for good. We'll build the wall. Folks, don't
even worry about it. Go to sleep, Go home, Go to sleep, rest to shooting, Go to sleep, Go to sleep. This is the worst bedtime story ever. Now one of these kids now to hear Trump tell it a wall would put a stop to illegal immigration. But that's a myth, because the truth is these days, a majority of undocumented immigrants come into the country legally, and they're all just
overstay their visas. That means most illegal immigration doesn't start at the Rio Grande, starts at the airport, between the center button and the baggage clan. And by the way down, Trump, of all people, I thought you would understand wanting to stay longer than you're supposed to. Yep. And here's another myth, because for some demagogues, brown people come in America isn't scary enough on its own. So there's one specific type
of immigrant that they want to scare you about. The drug smugglers, illegal immigrants from Mexico who are trafficking these pills that look like candy for children into the country. They're carrying drugs on their back and they're bringing fentnyl. Those people are bringing in fentnyl, which is killing thousands of Americans every month. It's not like fentanyl walks across the border by itself. It comes with illegal immigrants. Of course, fednyl doesn't walk across the border by itself. Do you
know the street value of fentanyl? That bitch drives a caddy? But yeah, they want to scare you about the hordes of criminals coming across the border to profit off of our opioid crises, which is messed up because that's what we have pharmaceutical companies for it. But the truth is that only point zero two percent of people arrested by border patrol for crossing illegally had fentanyl on them. But guess who is being arrested for smuggling fentanyl American citizens.
They're eighty six percent of convicted fendyl traffickers. So when you think about feednyl trafficker, think less about this and more about this. Bro. Dude, I got fednyl up my ass, I got in my ears, I got up my nose. I wish I had another rifice. I'd pack it up full of fentanyl. But you know how it goes, bro. And here's a bigger point I'm trying to make. The vast, vast majority of undocumented immigrants do not sell drugs. They do not shoot people, they do not commit terrorism, they
do not commit any crimes. They're human beings searching for a better life, and they don't want and they don't want to get in trouble, especially since they don't want to get caught and be deported. I'm the same way when I'm in When I'm a guest in someone's house, I'm on my best behavior. I take off my shoes, I hauled in my farts, I bring a bottle of
Savignon blanc. But then when I'm in my own house and I'm in the living room terrorizing the couch of my bare balls, that's a different story that we shot that before I shaped the beard job. Anyway, here's another myth these demagogues say that migrants are stealing American jobs. When you have a white open border and you've got millions of illegal aliens coming into our country, where do you think those people are gonna do. They're gonna go
take jobs that could have otherwise been American jobs. Millions of American jobs are disappear. You're in at the hands of illegal immigrants Joe Biden's five million illegal aliens, or on the verge of replacing you, replacing your jobs. Yeah, these immigrants are taking all the jobs, food jobs, farm jobs, steve jobs, all of them. These demogogues want you to believe that if you lost your job, it's not because of corporate outsourcing or automation, or the destruction of unions
or cost cutting to maximize profits for shareholders. No, it's Jose's fault. Shame on New Jose. But the truth is, undocumented immigrants are mostly filling jobs that Americans have no interest in doing. I mean, aw, you gonna tell me there are Americans just lining up wishing they could pick vegetables in the sun all the livelong day. America is a trip. Man. First, you didn't want to do any of the field work and now you want to do
all the field words make up your goddamn mine. All right, So, long story short, we can debate about the border, but what we can do is dehumanize these people. That's not going to lead to the right policies. That's only going to lead to tragedy. So the next time you hear people scare mongering about the water, remember they're not preaching facts. They're promoting fear. And that's the only wall they've built,
the one between themselves and reality. All right, when we come back, I'm going to be joined by Congressman Richie Taurres. You don't want to miss it. Hey, welcome back to the Daily Show. My guest tonight represents parts of the Bronx in the United States Congress. Please welcome Democratic Representative Richie tarez Number. Wow. You know, we just had breaking news. Donald Trump has been voted to be indicted by a grand jury. First president to be indicted, former first president
being what are your thoughts? Well, Donald Trump announced on True Social that he's been indicated rather than indicted. But no spell check. But the president he we should have chat chypt help him put together tweets. But I don't um, you know, Donald Trump. Why not? You know, Donald Trump has been a pathological liar and lawbreaker his whole life, and yet and has gone away with it. Oh yeah, Like he's a master of getting away with it, and
finally he's facing the accountability he deserves. But I know, I want to see that park walk. I'm dying for that. That's the only thing I want to say. But I will confess of all the crimes that he's committed in his life. I never thought, in my wildest dreams that he would be taken down by hush payments to a porn star. I mean, that's right, right, true, that to that. So he's like he's like the al caponent of American politics.
Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, really well put well, put now. Now, you're the first openly gay, Afro Latino congress noting me publicly. Come on, oh no, no, no, I would never do that. I would never do that. And you're part of the Hispanic Caucus, the Black Caucus, the equity caucus. Don't you think all these assist should caucus together and greater enormous caucus. How power would that caucus be? Look for us, diversity is not a source of division, It's a source of unity.
I mean, the House Democratic Caucus is the most diverse legiside of caucus in American history. Seventy percent of the caucus consists of members of the LGBTQ community, woman, people of color. Like, the House Democratic Caucus has more diversity and intersectionality than George Santos. So making of George Santos And by the way, George Santos and I were the only gay Latinos in the New York congressional delegation, So we're very close. Does he pretend to did he somebody else?
When you try to talk to him? You know, I avoid him. You're the one that avoys. That's what I thought. I have trouble keeping track of his lies. But you know, he's pretended to be a gay by racial Ukrainian, Belgian, Brazilian. Yes, a volleyball champion, Wall Street banker, whose mother died twice, including on nine to eleven, whose ancestors survived the Holocaust, whose employees died in the Pulsemash shooting. I mean, his life story is the greatest fiction in the history of
congressional Oh my god, it's so true though. That's why that's why I introduced stopping another non truthful office Seeker Act, the Santos Act. Yes, how long did it take you to come up with that acronym? Was born with that acronym in mind? Oh? Shit? But what can I say to that? I feel like my life is like a drama. I mean January sixth was my third day on the job. Wow,
that's your third day, thirday in the job. And so if someone had said to a younger version of myself, Richie, you're going to become a member of Congress during a global pandemic and witness an insurrection against the US capital and then votes to impeach the host of the celebrity Apprentice and all of that would happen within the first two weeks, I would have said that sounds like a movie written by George Santos. Ch char brother. Now you know,
we had this terrible shooting this week. I wanted to ask you about gun reform. I mean, Republicans they don't want to support background checks, they mental fund programs. I mean, what do we do about this? How do how do we deal with them? Look, whenever there's a mass shooting, Republicans are quick to bring up mental illness. Every society on Earth has mental illness. We are the only wealthy country that has an epidemic of gun violence and mass shootings.
That is not like, let's be clear, it's it's not an inevitability. It's a public policy choice. Like we as a society have chosen to put our own children at risk of gun violence. And they are Republicans who claim we're powerless because there's evil in the world. And my view is, if you're too powerless to protect children from mass murder, then you have no business being in Congress. Yes, like, what are you as? That's why I voted for you. Thank you, Thank you well. If you voted for me
without being in my district, that's voter fraud. So I want that's why I campaign for you. I appreciate it. I didn't vote twice. I appreciate that. I tried but I couldn't. Your endorsement is an illegal contribution, and we just had a former president and I didn't contribute to it. I stomped for you. Yeah, that's why you're my new MBASC show, the documentaries. I'm doing it like IMA does America. You're in my third episode. Thank you, Richie. That was
a blast, man, thank you for going. Okay, we're gonna take a click break, but we'll be right back after day. That's ourself for tonight. That was my time as zero host. But stay tuned because next week your host is gonna be Roy Wood Junior. And if you want to see more made, please tune into my new six part series, Leguizamo Does America. Explore more shows from the Daily Show podcast universe by searching The Daily Show wherever you get
your podcast. Watch The Daily Show weeknights and eleven ten Central on Comedy Central and stream full episodes anytime on Fairmount Plus. This has been a Comedy Central podcast