In the Field with Troy Iwata

You're listening to Comedy Central. Now human touch is it a good thing? Some people crave it weird, and now.

It's easier than ever for them to get it.

One of those booming businesses professional cuddling.

Christy is actually a professional cuddler and Josh is her client.

A lot of times people are just looking for someone to just spend some time with.

As one who goes through life avoiding human contact, I wasn't thrilled about meeting someone who made a living from touching other people. I have to admit it does sound a bit scammy. Seems like you're just ripping off people who've never heard of a body pillow.

It is not just about the physical act of cuddling. The body pillow cannot talk to you, right.

I would see the fact that my pillows can't talk back to me as an asset.

I totally understand that. But we have a code of conduct. We talk a lot about consent.

And how does one become a cuddlist.

Do you need a like a physical therapist or is it like a fake certification like a sandwich artist.

It's fine to be skeptical, but when you have nurturing touch that is very much wanted. Your level of oxytocin increases in your body. You are flooded with these wonderful few good love hormones. So touch deprivation is linked to a lot of things. It can be linked to impulsiveness, anxiety, stress, and low job performance.

Sure, that's amazing, that's fascinating.

What it seems like you might be a good candidate for professional calling.

I'm fine.

How do you deal with stress and anxiety?

I deal with it like most normal humans do.

I think that brought me healthier ways you can deal with your anxiety?

Okay, well my self therapy is free and only requires a nearby abandoned warehouse, whereas these cuddle sessions could cost anywhere from eighty to one hundred and fifty dollars.

Who would pay for that?

I've been a cuddle client for about two years now.

What type of responses do you get when you tell people that you're a cuddle client?

Why would you do that? Is it safe? Is there sex involved?

I thought that, Yeah, I've gotten desperate.

Are you a horning? Are you single?

If so, none of the above.

So you are in a relationship, I am so. What was your partner's reaction?

My partner said, is there something that's lacking here?

The answer was absolutely not. It was more about self care.

Now, what are the benefit you know, other than getting rid of all that extra money your bank account?

I J I just feel more personally resourced, cared for.

Why cuddling when there are so many other obvious ways to deal with your emotions?

Like what?

Why don't you come observe a session?

Okay?

How long does this normally perform? This is gonna go for about an hour? Quietly silently? The concept I mean quiet, I'm not even here.

Hi, it's me again.

I So just to confirm there's nothing sexual like happening here.

Would you like to just sit down and ask some questions?

Absolutely? I would really enjoy that. Oh okay, thank.

You so much for that. It's up and close VIP and the splash zone. Could you explain how you can participate in something so intimate without wanting to take it a step further?

The most important thing is that if at any point she is uncomfortable, that she will let me know. If I'm uncomfortable, I will let her know.

So how do we break down the stigma and negative connotations for all those closed minded oaths.

I think we normalize it by talking about it and just letting people know that there's something that they may not have considered.

You could try a cuttle session, okay, all.

Right, well just mm hm no, none, right, this is my session.

Okay, it's a book a session.

Okay, Okay, I needed a moment before I willingly spooned a stranger.

I do see there are benefits, and I have been stressed.

We've got climate change, race relations people drinking orange juice with pulp. Just eat an orange. But it doesn't mean I have intimacy issues. Okay, maybe there is some stuff I need to work on. Bernadette does seem at peace. And what's the worst that could happen? I get a well needed nap.

Yeah, it was cuddle time. This is amazing.

Is it gonna cost extra?

It if I like, open up the floodgates a little bit?

Not at all?

Why Why do you let me quick?

YEAHA that tho.

The cuddling. We're right.

I felt transformed and my hormones were flying high. I was a new man, ready to.

Embrace the world through cuddles.

Everyone is talking about the hottest new form of inflation, tip flation.

Americans are suffering from so called tipflation.

Now it's being encouraged for a growing number of services, restaurants to cap face and even self check out Kiok.

Tipping is so hot even the President elect is talking about it. When I get to office, we are going to not charge taxes on tips. And I don't know about you, but personally it's been stressing me out.

Selty at Cheapscape doesn't deserve a life on tips.

You don't think they deserve a fairly sure, I don't deserve coffee. So I needed to hear if anyone else is stressed about the uptick and tipping requests, and if they're dehydrated from crying too.

It's a little much.

Where you go somewhere and you're seeing tip jars at grocery stores.

Anywhere that I go to get launch or coffee nowadays has like an automatic tipping option.

The biggest thing is like the lowest percentage just keeps getting high.

I saw even a tip system at a plant store.

What have the plants done for us besides give us air to breathe? Yeah, it looks like almost everyone not getting tips agrees about tipping. But do these hospitality workers notice tipping popping up everywhere.

It is everywhere.

I'm waiting for the MTA now workers to be asking for a tip.

Just hanging out the way.

There's just stopping by the way.

Do you have any theory as to why that's happening? People need to live. People are shoggling.

We see it across the nation right now with so many different industries.

All right, So everyone agrees tipping is popping up everywhere and it sucks.

So why not cancel the tip?

We don't make enough, so we look for it a tip to like all come together and make up for what we're not getting by the hour. And plus, people need to realize that when you're tipping the waiter or the wagers, they also are paying out bussers and the bar tenders that need to be tipped from that tip that you're leaving as well.

Right, it's clear tipping is overwhelming, but how do we escape it? And then I found it Lula Cafe, a tip free haven where all the employees had healthcare and no one carried the decimal point.

They just carried through to the table.

So I sat down with owner Jason Hamil to hear how he ran a restaurant without tips.

Well, we actually do still accept tips at Lulah. We did well, Dan. We employ a dual system of a service charge and tips. Our system takes the reliance on tips away, so there's more pay equity. But you know, we're pretty busy, like sizeable restaurants to create that sustainability.

But like, if you're smaller, maybe it doesn't work for you.

Okay, I'm running out of working ideas. But the president elected say something.

Oh right, he was going to get rid of taxes on tips.

I think just putting that little bit of money back in our pockets isn't such a bad thing.

I think that's there is the demition to be tax on it.

Love it wholeheartedly, agree, one hundred percent.

Love.

Wow, that was easy.

So we just stopped taxing tips, no problems whatsoever. It does feel kind of like it'll incentivize companies to have more tip workers or workers that rely more on tips than actually the company's paying. Do you think if there was no federal tax on tips, people would get their entire paycheck in tips.

I mean that's certainly a concern.

Back to square one.

What else you got would be nice?

If they just raised the minimum wage, it.

Would just be the service that's treat their actual tips. But also I think that it's a much bigger issue overall.

The federal minimum wage needs to be raised.

Easy problem solved.

You know, when people that aren't in the industry are talking about it, they're like, well, the owners should just pay them more. But also the food service industry, like the margins are incredibly thin. Yeah, it would be really nice to pay someone forty five dollars an hour, but unfort actually that would shut down most places.

Don't you think that politicians could solve this by just raising the minimum wage?

Sure on maybe some healthcare and yeah that could be good. Yeah, the healthcare part will be really good.

Yeah, there's a lot of fact here, but you know we're not here to talk about healthcare. Well, okay, so tipping is everywhere more than ever, but people need tips to make a living because minimum wage is so low

Do I tip to make sure no one starves? It's all on me?

Are you okay? Do I look okay?

My big takeaway, I still don't know how much to tip.

Thank you so much for speaking with me.

I don't know what twenty percent for twenty five or eighteen, I don't know how much.

Go ahead and give us the wallet and we'll take care of it.

Just give us the wallet.

In this election, Republicans have their writer die candidate who they want to be president forever, and Democrats they also have a guy.

So the best way to get something done if you hold near and dear to you that you.

Like to be able to.

Anyway four more years. Joe Biden has an enthusiasm problem. The polling shows that Democrats are not enthused Joe Biden.

Democrats are not excited.

But maybe we in the media are out of touch.

I hit the streets to ask what do voters really think of Joe Biden?

Not the most excited.

I mean, it's okay, I wish I was more excited on a scale of one to ten, probably.

Somewhere amount of two or three.

How would you compare that to say, seeing some really beautiful latte art. I would put that maybe as a five. Could you point on this graph how you feel about voting for Joe Biden? Okay, some pain, but if you couldn't tell by the stick and pok tattoos and Warby Parker glasses, these people were all Democrats.

There must be something they like about Joe Biden.

He's a big ice cream guy.

Hmm, you can't vote against that.

What do you think his favorite flavor.

Is vanilla percent?

Oh god, it's got to be Superman.

You know he's our president.

He's our president.

Yeah, slap that on a T shirt.

I love it. I expect him to kind of behave like a president as opposed to like child.

He definitely is not a child.

But then I found one person whose passion whelmed me on a scale of one to ten, How excited are you about voting for Joe Biden?

Eleven?

Eleven? Oh my god?

Is this Joe Joe Biden?

Or is this like the famous core you on Instagram named Joe Biden that I'm not aware of, Joseph Robin E.

Biden.

I didn't even know there was his full name, Junior. Oh my god, there's an older one. Wow, who was this guy. Against my better judgment, I follow him to his car. Oh my god, Oh okay, it's a cardboard cutout. Before I get in your.

Car, I have to ask this isn't a sex thing, right?

It is not?

Okay?

Good? Yeah I didn't think so. Yeah.

Oh, oh my god. You have Kamala too? Do you have the whole cabin in there?

Where's your cutout? Of Acting Labor Secretary Julie Sue Julie.

Julie.

Meet Dakota Galvin, Joe Biden's biggest and only super fan. Could he hold the key to helping Biden defeat Donald Trump and his maga army. Trump has this huge fan club of tens of thousands of really intense weirdos.

And Biden has you. Why do you think that is?

There's sort of like a cult mentality going on there. I think they have an unnatural devotion to a single person.

Right, cult like devotion to one man? Am I right?

Okay?

Let's talk about the cardboard cutout. Why do you keep him in your trunk? Don't you want to just see him in the morning and say what's up?

Joe?

Well, my boyfriend isn't his He's less enthusiastic. Oh my god, having him watch us at all times. Oh my god, you have a boyfriend, I.

Do, okay, Setting aside the question of whether the boyfriend was also a cardboard cutout, when did Dakota first realize he was Biden?

Curious?

I was a senior in high school in twenty twelve, and I had just come out of the closet and Joe Biden had announced his support for marriage equality.

And you thought, to yourself, he's a little young right now to be president, but maybe in eight years he'll be ready.

At the time, not so much.

But this man literally came out of retirement to save our country from white supremacists and fascism.

So you like him more now than when it was just Obama's white friend. Absolutely.

Oh that's a strong endorsement at a time when Joe Biden is so unpopular that somehow hating him is uniting pro Israel and pro Palestine protesters.

So what does code to see in this guy?

His swag, his whispery voice, what's left at his hair?

Mostly his policies. There's so many chips from.

Really see, I can't even think of any So go up, I would think when he came into office, he immediately got to work with the American Rescue Plan. He followed it up with a bipartisans and Infrastructure Act, the Chips and Science Act.

The Chips and Sausa Act, Chips and Science. Oh, you know, maybe we need to make policy more. But I think you're right.

There was his eightieth birthday when he had older candles.

On his track.

Yeah, I guess we can have fun with glaring reminders of his age. Turns out the things they get Dakota excited are different from other voters.

What did he think their problem.

Was, Well, he is an older, straight white gentleman, and in Democratic circles that's usually not what gets us excited.

You know, I don't think there's anything we can do about his oldness or his whiteness.

But do you think he.

Would consider exploring his sexuality?

Oh?

Rash sure, Joe Biden tumbler fan fiction aside.

Could Dakota get Democrats fired up about Biden?

Oh?

Not like that.

I'm going to pretend to be someone who's not overly enthused to vote for Joe Biden, and they want you to convince me.

All right, yeah, okay, I'm ready.

Do you love living in a democracy. Yes, Oh my gosh, I've got the perfect candidate for you to vote for. Who is it. It's the current president, Joe Biden.

Oh well, you know it's a vote for normalcy, insanity, and you know, keeping the institutions that have built our constitutional republic for centuries.

Keeping things the same as they are now, with minor improvements, with minor improvements. I mean, I guess one thing that's good about Biden is he doesn't have the baggage, you know, say that Hillary has.

You know, I love Hillary.

Come on, maybe I've.

Been focusing on the wrong thing.

Maybe it isn't the voters that need the pep talk, it's Joe Biden. And Dakota has some advice that will shake the political landscape forever.

I would say, keep doing what you're doing, but do it better.

Yeah, way to pump them up. Well, there's always twenty twenty eight, especially.

Can I please sit in the front, No, I'm sorry.

Like most presidential elections, this election will be determined by disengaged, working class independent voters from a few Midwest states. So I'm at a gathering of such voters in Thornville, Ohio.

Okay, So it's twenty twenty four.

We have a very exciting presidential election coming up, very exciting. Everyone's really really happy about it. Who are you voting for?

Nobody? As none of your votes?

No are you going to vote?

Hell no, Why don't you plan to vote?

Because like, you're voting for two people who pretty much doesn't care about your existence.

Like there's nothing that has been improving for us low income people.

It's been shit.

I have never voted in my life.

I never will vote. Juggalos don't get involved in politics.

Yes, this is the Gathering of the Juggalos, a music festival where young people in America's heartland explore new frontiers in fashion, self care, and the arts while enjoying the music of Insane Clown Posse and other popular acts of the murder clown genre. These tens of thousands of disengaged youths could be a powerful voting block if only a political party would address the issues they care about.

A hundred percent. I believe global warming is real.

Manigga's hotter and hotter and hot.

They go through the summers. You know it's nine am and you already have your shirt off.

How do you feel about cutting taxes for billionaires.

Yes, I think billionaires should pay more taxes.

In a way, they're sociopathic clowns.

Legalizing drugs, trans rights, being pro choice women's rights.

I think mari ethos are based upon however.

You want to be, you know, a killer clown.

If you want to be a trans killer clown, by all means, please do.

I'm really glad that the killer clown community has opened up to the trans community as well. And there's one policy preference. The juggle Letes feel especially strongly about abortions. That's that's women, That's how it.

No one has control over that but us.

We don't want to getting nutted in and have babies. All this sounds like I will be.

I'd like to be child three in my twenties.

I'm gonna put that on a T shirt. By the way, Yeah, that'd be a killer T shirt.

Unsurprisingly, the Juggalos were interested in the third party candidate, and their pick turned out to be more politically viable than RFK Junior.

The world will be a much better place in my opinion, if they're a Juggalo in the I need the clouds will turn pink. If a Juggalo com Honestly, I like how a violent Jay's mindset works. Okay, yeah, or Shaggy two dope.

I'd have them up in the White House.

Don't you.

I'd say Shaggy as president and then violent Jays second.

And that makes sense too, as because President Violent.

Ja might scare some people.

Of course, the.

Juggalos would want one of their own in the White House. So I put on my best Juggalo formal were to find out if Violent j himself would accept the nomination.

That no, that is no.

Amount of money.

You've got to go places. Yeah, they give you an itinerary. You got to get up all early as shit.

That's the number one qualification of the present. You have to get up early.

Even though Violent Ja refused the mandate of commander in chief, he had clear policy preferencies on everything from mass deportation.

Though now I remember why I hated Trump that.

Wall shit, to women's rights and the right to beatle shit, environmental conservation.

We think we're the superior animal on this planet.

Right, let me tell you what the superior animal is, a whale.

It's the biggest and progressive taxation.

My mom to the Democrats basically are saying less taxes on the poor, more taxes.

On the rears.

I'm assuming you pay taxes up.

The panus, and I'm happy about it.

I paid double what they ask I.

Was starting to get a sense of where violent j stood on the issues. But did the head of the insane clown Nation see himself in any of the candidates to lead our insane clown nation?

A little pussy holdish on the fact that he refused to paint his beard, you know what I mean?

Yeah, he's a pussy because he didn't paint his beard. A pussy hurt? All right? What about good old DT?

Okay, because he's all about that wall?

All right?

This is Tim Walls. This is Kamala Harris's VP.

Who Kamala Harris?

This herbe vice president?

Yeah, I'm absolutely opinionless.

I'm that man. All right. Last, we have Kamala.

I wanted to win because she's a Democrat and I love my mom.

Okay, I see it. All right, that's a beautiful senator.

Yeah, how do you say her first name?

Kamala?

Kamala?

Yeah, Kamala like kama La.

That's fresh. Sorry, Maddon, mushrooms are kicking out.

Oh sure, sure, I forgot man so violent, Jay is backing Harrison. See, not all jugglers are sitting this election out. Now, what are the odds he's gonna remembered about?

On November fifth?

What you?

I'll explore more shows from the Daily Show podcast universe by searching.

The Daily Show wherever you get your podcasts.

Watch The Daily Show weeknights at eleven ten.

Central on Comedy Central, and stream full episodes anytime on Paramount

Plus Paramount Podcasts