ICYMI: Jon Stewart Talks Israel Support and Michael Kosta Covers Biden's Student Debt Relief Plan

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Now the big news today the world and died.

I think, are we even?

Are we?

Salon?

I don't.

There wasn't eclipse.

It happened.

The sun and the moon did the thing that everyone's been saying they were going to do for centuries. Now the path got totalitied and now both planets we'll go back to years of ignoring each other before they inevitably hook up again. Textbook toxic relationship. But not everyone was happy about today's celestial seasonings.

For danger lurks.

A boxer's a learn a rare celestial event collides with a policy failure on the ground.

The southern border will be directly in the.

Path of totality today when the moon covers the Sun for nearly four minutes.

We are told that officials are bracing for higher traffic.

Than usual, and that means a real opportunity for smugglers and cartels and migrants.

To come right in, or they could just wait till nighttime.

Really they don't have the eclipse four minutes.

I gotta say, is there nothing Fox can't tie to immigration? This is this here Cicada infestation provides perfect cover for Venezuelans. Of course, if you combine the dangers of today's eclipse with Friday's seismic activity in the northeast, well, the more troubling picture emerges.

Republican Congress from Marjorie Taylor Green tweeted, the earthquake and Monday solar eclipse are assigned from God that America need to repent.

How how do you know? How would you know that that is what God meant? Why would God be so obtuse? Why would he do that?

Or she?

Why would she?

Or how crazy would it be if God insisted on they them?

But honestly, is this shit really how God works? I must let.

Man know to repent their wickedness. How Lord, I don't know, dim the lights for.

Like four minutes, very specific path and God, what else?

Give New Jersey a little shape.

Enough to render the buildings to rubble and to bring people to their knees in repentance and atonement.

No, just a little like a.

Jersey, just a little.

Nookie like Oh Jersey, but divine messaging aside. It was the biggest story of the weekend. So for more on the eclipse, we have full team coverage.

Let's go live to Ronnie Chang in Caromel, Texas. Grace cool E Slick in Niava.

What a day, What a spectacular day, Grace. What is the mood out there in Niagara Falls?

It's a clips day.

The sky was dark, but the moods were bright because.

This event was out of this world.

Fantastic, John, Oh, Grace, that's fantastic, Ronnie.

Thanks John. The eclipse's fine, but too bad they don't make us special kind of glasses that will allow us to look truly directly at the horrors that occurring around the world, especially in.

That's a that's very true, running, very true. Powerful. Uh, those are powerful words, Grace.

Oh, gauza Gaza.

It's terrible, terrible, not terrible.

Was the Crispy Cream Special Edition Solar Eclipse donut I had earlier? It was in the Path of Taste Sality.

It was really really good.

Is that a tambourine?

Oh no, no, no.

No no no, well technically it is.

I was gonna do an eclipse dance, but it doesn't seem appropriate.

I'd really like to see the dance.

Yeah, yeah, do the dance.

The moon rise in the day time, block out the sun. It's so fun, family and friends, the joint ever ends.

Yeah, you know that dance reminds me of the moral dance we all do every day to hide all complicity in the world's atrocities, and.

I hope that was clear in my dance.

Thank you both very much, Grace and Ronnie. Everybody well done.

But the other big milestone from the eclipse is, as Ronnie mentionined, the war in Gaza is now six months old. I think time for a wellness check. But as the war has grinded on, justice is beginning to seem more like cruelty. But not to worry, America, the Shining City on a Hill is on the case with our universal values in the.

Great battle for freedom between a rules based order and one governed by brute force.

In this battle, we need to be clear eyed.

And just to clarify, we are the freedom folks. We're the rules people. We're not the brute force ones. I think we all know who the brute force ones are in this case, Vladimir, and know that America will call you out when you violate the basic tenets of humanity, weaponizing food, using it as a tool as a weapon in.

Its war against Ukraine. It's unconscionable, should not happen.

It's a conscionable.

Weaponizing food in Ukraine is not kosher nor helal. Sorry if I'm both sides of this, speaking of which there is a literal famine in Gaza caused by the war. I assume America will also consider this unconscionable.

Absolutely, We're concerned about that, no question about it.

Well, you can't spend spell unconscionable without concern, or at least part of it.

The con part you can reuse the COEO. You get the point.

How about the free press? Ordinarily we are strongly in favor of free press.

We also condemn the Russian government's continued targeting and repression of journalists.

You hear that Russia. We condemn.

In no uncertain terms, any repression of a free press. I think you all know what's coming next. More journalists have been killed in six months then anywhere else in the world. And a new Israeli law says they can ban media outlets they consider a threat.

So as it relates to Al Jazeer zero specifically, we've seen the reports.

If it is true. If it is true, a move like this is concerning.

We're concerned again, how about if it's true, we condemn it, and by the way, is it true? Like it feels like you could probably just go someone and be like, is this true, and if they're like, yeah, it's true, you can be like, that's concerning not condemning, but concerning well, you know what, perhaps these are just peripheral issues. What about the bedrock rule of international law, no taking land by force? When Russia does it, We're pretty clear.

The entire world has a stake in making sure that no nation, no aggressor, is allowed to take a neighbor's territory by force. The American people will never waiver on our commitment to those values.

Ish See, this is where Israel's action get interesting, because you might say Israel's war is different than Ukraine's. Israel's responding to an attack and a hostage crisis.

But in the midst of.

That, they pulled a little something in the West Bank. On March twenty second that might be notable.

As the US Secretary of State Anthony Blincoln made his latest visit to Israel, the Israeli government announced that it was declaring state land, only two thousand acres of land in the occupied West Bank. This latest Israeli appropriation is the largest land transfersons the Oslo Accords were signed in nineteen ninety three.

Nineteen ninety three, and that's not even Gaza, that's the West Bank. So you can't say has anything to do with defending yourself against the mass. Let's see if America upholds its rule against taking land.

I haven't seen this facility of this, but anyone taking steps that makes things more difficult, more challenging.

This time something.

That we would have a problem with.

You don't know about it. They did it the day you visited.

Why do we tiptoe around on eggshells? They slap America in the face, and our response as well, if anyone slapped us in the face, it'd be concerning, that's for sure. I mean raising a hand to a delicate body part

Are they wilfully.

Trying to provoke us, or perhaps they're just reading our principles from right to left. It's over.

It's really, to be honest, it's kind of a bar.

It's for joke.

Over thirty thousand have died in Gaza.

Since the war started.

Some of them have ast soldiers, thirteen thousand of them children.

Our response, since the early hours, we've been urging our Israeli counterparts to act with as much precision as they can, and they're targeting. Our constant efforts to urge the Israelis to be as precise and careful as possible. We can still continue to urge Is to be.

More careful and more precise.

A need for the Israeli defense forces to act with precision. We continue to work with the Israelis to make sure that they are as precise as as they can be.

See they're not listening.

Have you tried synonyms for precision?

We continue to stress to Israeli counterforce that they be as discriminate and careful in their targeting as possible, Be as cautious and deliberate and as careful as they can. To be more careful and more deliberate, Be very deliberate in the most discreete, deliberate, careful, cautious way possible, the utmost care, and.

A special burden to be mindful, to be mindful. What is this hot yoga?

We just you know, we've seen the bombing, and we are urging Netan Yahoo to be present. What are we doing here? The subtext of all this is America knows this is wrong, but it apparently doesn't seem to have the courage to say it in a straightforward manner. American Israel both know that you cannot bomb your way into safety. We learned that lesson in Irock and Afghanistan. They learned it in southern Lebanon. They laid siege there, occupied the southern area.

For twenty years.

All it did was birth and strength and hesbola.

And they're about to do it all over again.

And we are letting them real friends take the keys, because friends don't let friends bomb that much. And after this, we say, with so much horror, perhaps America finally finds the need for a new approach with Israel, with more justice and less cruelty. The US and Israel are closing in on what would be their largest weapons deal since the War in Gaza began well I don't know about you,

No, no, no, no, no.

Let's kick things off with yesterday's solar eclipse, when people across the continent came together to have their wallets stolen while they were distracted by space. Hopefully everyone wore the correct safety glasses so they didn't catch COVID from the sun, but even if you did wear them, you still might have a solar hangover.

Google trends report shows some of the eclipse watchers may not have been using proper eye protection. A company says it saw a spike in searches of my eyes hurt following the solar eclipse on Monday.

My eyes hurt. That's not even a question.

That just sounds like people were complaining to their computer, my eyes hurt.

Google, get some friends, losers.

By the way, I hate that Google uses our searches to monitor trends.

That's why you got to throw up some fake searches. Every day.

I'll put in my eyes hurt plus something random like hockey skates edible, just to throw it off. But this story does say a lot about the state of our healthcare system. Back in the day, if you had eye pain, you'd call up your family doctor and he'd tell you to smoke more cigarette. Nowadays you have to wait six weeks to get an appointment with your eyes doctor, or you can go online and immediately find out that the eclipse glasses gave you autism.

Look, the.

Good news is, for most people, the pain is probably a harmless case of eyestrain. You'll be fine because those glasses were made from the same high tech, advanced material.

As the birthday crown they give you at Burger Camp.

Now, speaking of looming shadows over America, let's move on to gun violence. America treats its gun problem the way a dog treats a new baby, by hoping that if we ignore it, it'll disappear. But at this point, any progress, no matter how small, would be better than the status quo. And now a legal verdict might have set an important precedent.

Breaking today for the first time in the United States, parents whose son killed four teenagers will themselves spend ten to fifteen years in prison.

The Crumbley's provided unrestricted access to the.

Gun ignored their son's spirally mental health problems and enabled his actions by ignoring all of the warning signs.

School staff testify the parents were called to the school and urged to get Ethan psychological help just hours before the shooting, but the Crumble's refuse to take them home.

That's right.

For the first time ever, parents are going to be liable for their kids' school shooting, which honestly makes sense to me. You know, we already blame the parents for a lot less. When a teenager throws a loud party, we blame the parents, or when a kid has a stupid haircut, we blame the parents. We should blame the parents when a kid shoots up a school. And why stop with the parents. The grandparents raise those parents, so

Yeah? I agree.

Either way.

Either way, after hearing what these parents did, I don't ever want to hear again that I'm a bad parent just for giving my kid an iPad.

Okay, the worst thing my kid is going.

To do is go to school and talk in a Peppa Pig accent all day. Let's move on to some presidential news and are ongoing coverage of Indecision twenty twenty four.

If you're like.

Most young Americans, you have thousands of dollars of college debt after getting your degree in TikTok gender studies. Thankfully, President Joe Biden is here to help.

President Biden unveiled his latest effort to free up more Americans who are bogged down by student debt. The plan, announce during a visit to Wisconsin includes debt cancelation for those who now owe more than they borrowed because of runaway interest.

You plan to deliver up to eight thousand dollars in interest relief to over twenty million barros.

WHOA, yeah, whoa. That's a nice forgiveness.

Speaking of interesting that they call this student debt forgiveness, as though the student did something wrong.

We forgive you for being a poor, broke bitch.

But as long as Brine's paying off student loans, how about paying off the other debt college kids in Kerr. You know, my buddy Greg never got me back from that time I spotted him for the seadew rental in Panama City.

Where's my check, Joe?

But this is a reminder that college is too expensive tuition, room and board, books, a computer to create a social network that will one day ruin democracy.

It adds up. Now. Some critics are saying.

That this student loan forgiveness is just a cynical bride by Joe to give young people what they want so they vote for him, And they're right. It's an ancient tactic called politics, and Biden better hope it works because he really really needs young people.

In the twenty twenty NBC News exit poll, candidate Biden led former President Trump by twenty four percentage points among voters under thirty, but an NBC survey in January had President Biden up by just eight percentage points among that group. Another pole last month showed mister Trump a head by eighteen points among voters under thirty. Are you excited to vote for President Biden?

I would personally say no, I'm excited to vote for someone that's not Trump, but I wouldn't.

Say that it is.

I'm excited for Biden.

O man, Joe Biden is in trouble.

The most liberal city in a critical swing state, and its college students are on the fence. I'm excited to vote for anyone besides Trump.

How about Joe Biden? No, So the big question is will this new plan work?

To help us answer that question, we go live to our own Josh Johnson. Josh, Josh, you've been talking to young voters. What do they think of Joe Biden's student loan cancelation.

I'll be blunt, Michael. They think it's bullshit.

Okay.

Young voters have deep principal problems with the Biden administration. He has failed us on climate change, social justice, and immigration, and the way he eats ice cream is nasty. These are serious failures. They need to be addressed. Young people don't want to bribe. They want a leader who will secure our future. Biden is not going to paper over these foundational shortcomings by promising us twenty thousand dollars.

Okay, what if you offer twenty five thousand dollars? Yeah, we'll take it, Okay, see it?

Yeah?

Yeah, but.

That was easy. That was too easy, Josh, what about twenty one thousand.

Hell no, you're going to offer money on the matters of principle?

What twenty four thousand? Deal twenty two to fifty twenty three?

Here we go.

Joe built back better baby ollow.

He already has the Mike Josh Johnson everybody.

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