Gatorade vs. Powerade | Hold Up with Dulcé Sloan & Josh Johnson

You're listening to Comedy Central, so.

You're saying powerade is better because somebody put a front stone vitamin in that bitch.

And let it is off. Yes, it tastes better, is better for you? What's gatorade doing besides getting dumped on the back of coaches? Next Gatorade out here, lazy trifling? All right, power for the work. Hey, everybody, welcome to hold up. It's a big show about pretty pretty small things, pretty little, pretty, pretty insignificant. I am one of your co host My name is Josh Johnson. I'm a writer for the Daily Show, and I am joined.

By Say Loan Dota Loan Dose Stays Loan. Yeah, of course, right on the Daily Show and just genuinely the person who annoys Jos the most because I won't do it? Who will?

Great question. So we come to you today humbly seeking your approval. We seek your validation because we are diametrically opposed as usual. But this time I think I think there's a line in the sand. I think that I can't see any concessions being drawn. I can't see us really coming to any common ground at all. Today's topic is power aid versus Gatorade. Okay, wolf, which one do you drink more? If you drink either, which one leaves

I'll say as someone who never really enjoyed gatorade mm hm, but realize that there were assuely no beneficial qualities the power aide because gatorade you could taste that it was like salty. You're like, oh, I might be getting something out of this, but there's so much sugar in a power Aid. I feel like I'm drinking kool a.

So that's why I can't condone or participate. Also, I don't see like remember like also remember when we were in like because when'd you graduated high.

School two thousand and eight?

Okay you just oh, no, you were seven years after we never mind, I know I was in high school's one powerad. It was like popping popping mm hm.

And so like you see everybody drinking a powerade and whatever, and I'm just like, this can't This doesn't taste like it's being helping.

This don't taste like it's restoring anything. I just feel like I'm drinking this is this is an uncarbonated soda.

So I only go Gatorade because Gatorade tastes like okay, you can taste that. There's a little like saltiness tool a gatorade, guess because of the electrolytes and shit, and then but there's a sweetness, so you'll keep fucking drinking it. So Gatorade I'll go with only because I feel like it might actually be doing something. Power Aide is just an uncarbonated it's.

A soft drate.

Okay, all right, so let's let's those are some great opening points. Some of them were actually correct. A couple of them were really on point. Okay, But power aid what you understand about power aid, what you understand about the power that we're covered with with power aid, okay, is that power Aid actually has less calories and more micronutrients than gatorade. You were right about salt. What is right about the salt? What is the so you were

Mm hm. So you're so just because you google what the hell was in a Powerade.

You know you didn't know what was in a You did not know before two seconds ago while I was talking, Uh huh, got a damn thing about what's all up be in.

These powers of aids? Okay, you knew.

Would you rather, even in the wording, would you rather have Gator aid or power Aid? Would you rather have the aid to be powered or the aid of Gator?

Do you know where gatorade got its name from?

Florida?

Right, Florida Gators. M h Now, I don't give a shit.

But because I'm not a Gator fan, I'm any I'm a fan of anything that's not Uga fine, Okay, Because Gator aid mm hmm have been tried.

And true and tested on real profession college athletes. You know it has all of the things, the nutrient.

Entaste okay, not a word?

What about listen, it's got The earliest version of it consisted of water, sodium, sugar, potassium phosphate, and lemon juice.

Okay, okay.

Gatoray was the reason mm hmm that the Florida Gators one in their first Orange Bowl over the Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets.

Okay, how was it the reason?

How what they said it was. They said it was a contributing.

Factor, credited a performance enhancing.

Team, credited gatorade.

Okay, the coach doping?

No, no, the star quarterback not joping.

Water. You dig water and so water lemon. I don't know what goes in their big bodies to help them move big bodies. I don't know anything about that. I'm just saying it sounds like doping to me.

Sodium, water, sugar, potassium, and phosphates.

What's in those phosphates?

Doping?

What's it the phosphates? Check your phosphates?

Okay, check the fire. What's the phosph the phosphates? Phosphates?

Me?

Okay. A phosphate is in anin salt functional group or esther derived from a phosphoric acid, So basically it's more salt.

Does it have a bunch of chemistry stuff next to it when you google it?

Yes? Okay, I can't doping. No, No, this is a naturally occurring thing in nature.

Okay, dope.

Because you looked up all that shit with not hold on, now, this is the thing. This is just the early this is this is the early chemical makeup m okay of a gatorade.

Okay, all right, they got thirst quenchers, because for a long time all they had was lemon, lime and orange. Let's see, they started getting more flavors in the mid nineties, as I remember, like people just sucking out, oh, Gatorade ice.

Yeah. I don't know what that was about, but there was a oh I remember g two.

Gatorade rain. Gatorade Tiger was a Gatorade thirst quencher. Okay, as a result of I guess juicing tiger woods. Okay, they put them in a machine and squeeze them.

This is the thing. I think that the flavors of Gatorade went a bit wild, went a little too far, stopped becoming flavors and started becoming just experiments.

So you're telling me that this Gatorade frost glacier freeze.

Yeah, mm hmm.

I mean it is just blue.

Yeah, it's just gross, Honda, that.

Gross, Lou. I don't know what a glacier taste like.

Yeah. You also there's a glacier freeze and a glacier something else too. So glacier is just a sort of accent mark on the taste of freeze.

But this has given me. This is rehydrate, replenish, refuel, electrolytes to help replenish what you lose, and sweat carbs to help fuel refuel working muscles. Because the people don't know is that sugar is a carb.

Mm.

So you were like, I'm cutting out cards, I'm cutting out cars, cutting out carbs. Guess what, motherfuckers, you can't have fruit. Yeah, dude, we work with he was on the keto.

Yeah, he couldn't have fruit. I think you can have with a blueberry, blueberries and you can have but you can't have warmelon, have pomegranate. You can't have anything that's like high in sugar, and you can't have anything that Maybe this isn't fair to say, but I feel like all the hardy fruits you can't have.

I know when I was working on my meal plan, I couldn't have any tropical fruits.

Oh okay, I could have apples and berries. I could have what category of fruit is an apple?

I don't know, but apple's got a lot of fibers. So you don't want to load up on too many apples.

Because it makes you poops.

Yep, that's good. Oh. I remember when I was in Chicago, I was just telling somebody about this. I'm sure. I remember what I was talking to when I was in Chicago. I was like, this is so bad. Oh no, I didn't have any Yeah, it doesn't have any money.

And so.

I went to a grocery store. I saw a bag of apples. I was like, that's dinner, and I was just I just ate dinner, like alluded to it. Just ate four apples, and you know, it's a lot of tru so you get tired of chew it, or you get full off of just really trying to break down apples in your mouth. And then that is way too much fiber that that had me sat down, pressed.

You shaken together and running over what I'm saying it. You should at least have some peanut butter that had some oil.

Hey, I'm with you, I understand. I recognize my mistakes.

Yeah, bro, sometimes these stories you tell, I'm like, I'm so glad that Josh isn't a better Listen.

All I know is, don't act like you really believe in it because you you just already had it there. Don't act like you went and got a real gatorade.

I did already have this because I was dehydrated.

So yeah, but if you had known better, you would have got a power aid.

No, if I'd have known better, I'd have got a pediate. Fair enough, Fine, fair enough. But the thing is I have not seen a powerade in years.

Is it still in business? Yeah?

Go to Dwayne Reed?

What?

Yeah, go go to any I don't know. I feel like even the sports armor store sells them sports armor. Oh, sorry, under armour. That's my bad. No, that's my bad. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm a little tired. And I let I let what I was thinking mash up with what I was saying, and.

Let me tell something. Them under armor shirts started becoming outer armor shirts.

Real quick, right, real quick. The level of of confidence people have to wear those under armors, but just casually the idea, because first of all, you know how skin tight those things are.

They are a body stocking from man.

They soak up every part of you. It is the closest to a hug. A lot of people have had their.

Male because.

What I can say is, in my life, I've seen the men that I've seen wearing under armor as outerwear are never men that play sports.

Yeah, and I'm like, what are we what are we doing here?

What's happening? It's very interesting what what it did? Because it's like, you know, to see this man who you know is not playing a sport because they because they are a moisture wicking.

That the benefit.

I have no idea what you just.

Said, moisture wicking meaning, Okay, did you wear them under your clothes when you're playing a sport because it pulls the sweat away from the body.

Now I didn't. I don't think so. I don't want to lie on them, but I don't think so. The thing is that what I found it does, and what I think a lot of guys think that it does for them, is that because it's skin.

Tight given that body.

Yeah, if there's any muscle definition that you have at all, yeah, under armour will follow it. So it's like you'll see dudes with even a decent back, right, like even I love back.

I love arms. Uh, I'm an arms, bert, I'm an arms like a man with it's just the nice uh huh, because I like hugs, so a nice arm, yeah, but I do. Some men do have a very weird hands. What Yeah, some men have weird hands.

What are you talking about?

His hands are just weird weird?

How yeh, don't go right, what does go right? Man?

Like?

You ever see a man who his hands are too small for his body?

I hope not?

What it looked like muppets? This little like grown men with little kid hands, Like if you're a man.

Was like, I'm a woman who's five for Okay.

If you were a man who's taller than me but whose hands are smaller than mine, I'm worried because it's weird. I don't want to hold your hand and be the big spoon.

Wow. Okay, I didn't even know that that.

Wow, I feel like it. I just feel like I just woke you up.

Yeah, that was that was insane.

I like hands, I like arms. I pay attention to those things.

Wow.

The guy who came up with it was Kevin Plank. He said it's a full back of the University of Maryland. Plank got to of having to change out of the sweatsiak T shirts worn under his jersey. However, he noticed that his compression shorts worn during practice stayed try. This inspired him to make a T shirt using moisture wicking synthetic material.

So, yeah, so moisture wicking and he that's wild. I came Wow, you really called it?

Yeah?

I don't even know what have the compression stuff is for? Really?

Well, I think my homwork was telling me that he wore impression shorts when he played football or baseball, one of them sports, to keep his man parts still.

I think it would keep them still.

I think you're right, just to stop them from banging into each other.

That is tough when you're running and you won't go faster. That's happening.

Wait, so testicles banging to each other?

Yeah? Huh like like with what do you mean within or next to stuff?

With it? Like between your legs? Not?

No, not really, not not like I thought you meant. Do they bang into stuff as in like swinging from side to side? Do they hit thigh?

Does that happen?

Yes? They are a pendulum shape if you get if you get old enough. Now I don't know how true this is.

Although hit the water in the toilet?

No, no, no, what I've heard that. I've heard that too, But that's not because that's where I was going. It took me.

I feel like the water and the toilet was just too hot.

Maybe you don't know how long they get I don't.

So the under armor shorts makes sense because it's like the comp Okay, So you don't want your man parks to be moving a bit? I do. There was a day you do. I think you and Devin, but mainly you gets so annoyed with me. I asked you, if you had to pee, what could you just put your finger on the end of it and stick from them?

Sometimes you do ask questions that make me worry about like have you have you met mister penis.

All.

We really asked the questions because I know, if I have to pee and I have to wait, I can squeeze my thighs together.

Or wrap my or like you know, put my legs one over the other.

Yeah.

Men don't have that option because everything's in front.

Yeah.

Like if you put your legs together, nothing happens.

Yeah.

So like you think that like that I have to pee kind of thing, and it's just like, yeah, you're not doing anything.

And you got to bend it in half like a hose.

What do you mean? What has one sugar in it?

Let's see.

Okay, power a versus Gatorade has already came up here.

Bem. Sorry, I don't even be doing that. It's power A better for you than Gatorade.

Gatorade contains one hundred and sixty milligrams of sodium and forty five milligrams of potatting per serve, whereas power Aid contains one hundred and fifty milligrams of sodium and thirty five milligrams of potassium perservice. In comparison, Gatorade is slightly better at replacing loss.

Electrodes, depending on if that's what you need you need?

Do you drink it?

Do you need some B twelve? Do you need some rehydraational longsided? You know, maybe gatorade is over here, like, ooh, I got electrolyzed, I got some salt in it. Thirsty, I got some lemon water in case you hate your life?

Okay, fine, what sports drink is best for hydration?

Best overall? Gatorade? Oh, body armor? I tried this drink. It's actually pretty good.

So who conducted the study?

Let's see?

Was it gatorade dot com? Let's do is it a reputable source? Reputable rip rip be beautiful?

It was foodnetwork dot com? Who did it?

And you're gonna trust them? You're gonna trust them. You want to touch trust the was it dives, diggings and dashes? Huh is that who you want to trust?

Is that?

What is that? What you want to trust? You want to put your faith in in uh dinner, destitute and and the dogs?

Ma'am, ma'am.

M hmm, ma'am. Do you want to put your faith in dugouts, ditches and drains?

The test was listen. This is from Dana Angelo White MS.

Another d okay suspicious.

She's a registered dietitian, certified athletic trainer, and owner of Dana White Nutrition Ink with specializes in culinary and sports nutrition. She's the one that did it, she wrote the article.

She's the owner of Dana White Nutrition Ink. Lots of d's, lots of lack of trust for ma'am.

She specializes in culinary and sports nutrition. She's got some recipes.

Ye keep making that face. I'm just saying, I'm throwing out there. This is the person that you want to teach you to dip, dive, dodge this dine.

This is not Guy Fieri okay mm hm.

She said best overall Gatorade your friend power.

A yeah, yeah.

Wasn't even on the list.

Mm hm. So you just trust this list because it exists.

I dress the list because the nutrition has made it.

Okay.

Also, now, hold on, what are the best drinks to replace electro Here are eight electrolyte rich beverrage you may want to add to your health and Willen's toolkit. One coconut water or coconut juice.

Two milk?

Oh what milk? That doesn't sound right at all. If you worked out and then you had a tall glass of milk, I think you're dating it over.

This is not nineteen fifty two. No one is exercises and having milk.

What do you mean? No one? They're they're putting them on electrolyte lists.

Hold on, are there I have somebody to just swerve their car when they fucking heard milk?

Yeah, the way that served my inserts b.

In addition to its? Okay, are there electrolytes and milks with I google? In additions, In addition to its rich supply of electrolytes like calcium, sodium, and potassium, milk provides a healthy combination of carbs and protein. These are two macros. These two macro nutrients can help you refuel and promote muscle tissue repair after a workout.

Oh so when you hurt your boob, you should have been drinking milk. Never mean you don't like milk.

I don't like it enough to drink it after a workout, like like, at what point? Imagine if you finished a race and somebody hand you a glass of milk, You'd be like, I didn't know you wanted to fight. I'm gonna have to come up with with my own power Aid slash Gatorade. If milk is doing such a great job with all of the.

Signs that I have read, is that no one can tell me why power Aide is even worth drinking.

Wow, I feel like that entire time.

It's not a conversation. Articles in the conversation, the articles are out, it's been proven.

The articles are hack. Okay, remember that.

You are too sleepy to have this conversation with me.

No, I'm no, I'm awake. You're well, and I'll tell you right now.

Tell me.

I don't care what Dana White's nutrition says on dip, dive, dash, drink and drool. Okay, these are not real stats. You want to get hydrated, the hit that power Aide, but at.

A proven fact that there is literally even more milligrams of potassiums and things.

And you lost me once you talk about milligrams and not really getting it in when you're when you're not talking about getting in the nutrients that you need, holy right fully.

Okay, then Canade is better because somebody put a front stone vitamin in that bitch.

And let it iss off. Yes, it tastes better, is better for you? What's gatorade doing besides getting dumped on the back of coaches? Next, Gatorade out here, lazy trifling, all right.

Not the back of coaches.

Next, Yeah you are. I'm a menace. It's a real menuce. Gatorade's a menace, all right. The most excited kids get about Gatorade is to dump it.

No, someone's even drinking Powerade though, Powerade. Listen, that's what I'm saying.

At least Gatorade.

Gatorade gave you hydration throughout the game and then you won. Now it's a celebratory act. Okay.

Power A ain't even on the field. Power A ain't even come to practice.

Whenever they want to dump a Gatorade on a coach. In it always full? Why is it always full? Because nobody's drinking it. They bought it, but they didn't drink it.

They've been playing for four hours this game was four hours long. You only think they got one container.

You bake a fresh betch, put ice in it, and then you make this coach sticky for the next three months.

You're gonna you're gonna put Yes, you're gonna put ice.

You know there's multiple coolers that gatorade outside.

Stop it and the already worthless drink. You're telling me you're gonna have reserve gatorade to dump on top of the real gatorade that you drink. That's not happening. I'm interested in what gatorade does to the ground.

All right?

Does that grass grow hard or does it die? Or what does it do?

That grass grows better than any grass. Really, that grass has nutrients. Okay, do you think that electro lights?

Are you serious?

Grasp electric lights? I think that electro lights.

If you pour gatorade into a farm's soil and then you let the grass grow, and then you let a cow eat the grass, by the time you eat the burger, the cow would be like, you don't want to eat that.

Can gatorade make plants grow faster? Because we've all been in the eighth grade?

Okay, and well let's get into it.

Let's get into it. This is the most research we've ever had in the episode of the This is the first time we've ever been accurate about anything.

Oh man, we just be guessing. Okay, plants need a mixture of water light. Okay, somebody misuse it, Comma, plants need a mixture of water, light, water, and soil with a lot of nutrients and minerals in it.

Oh what the fuck?

It wrote this?

Adding gathererade of the soil will stunt the plant's growth before it even starts. This happens as a result of the added sugar from gatorade.

Now to your point, to make it fair, will power aid.

I can already see where this is going. Now I'll tell you right now. Maybe the research hasn't been done because maybe people haven't stumbled on to the hidden effects of power aid. How much power it gives you, how much aid it aids you.

We concluded that power raide does not help a plant grow. Haters, we also carry to conclusion that it is best to give a plant water.

You not reading that, I'm telling you.

What it says. Did you ever play football? Come on, okay, sorry, you played a sport.

Let's not let's act like we know each other.

You know what I mean to stay.

Yeah, I played a little bit of soccer and we would we would sometimes have orange slices on the sideline. And yeah, and what powerade. That's where I first had power aid was was playing soccer.

Yeah, you had gatorade, don't lie.

Look some kids brought their dusty gatorade to practice and and I'm sure it helped keep them slow. And the rest of the kids have power AID.

So I think.

You bullying them.

I think you power aide so heavy because power.

Yeah, Because here's the thing. This, this is what you don't understand about sports, all right, This is what they don't understand about physical activity. Okay, but they understand about strength and conditioning about what all right, strength and conditioning at strength?

No, you're Louisiana accent hopped out. That's fine, I know it.

They don't know about you need power to pull off all of these Oh no, Jesus. And when you need power, where do you go? Do you go to something that doesn't even happen in the name, or do you go to power earth?

Jesus?

You know what I mean? Do you do? You go ahead? And if you need a big squad, right, let's say, let's say you're trying to try to hit a pr in the gym. PR is a personal record for those that don't know. You trying to hit a pr in the gym, you try and get that power going. You need some power aid. All right, why are you saying like that just to emphasize how it is.

Bah, yeah, I would have believed that order.

No, No, Sometimes you have to say things between your teeth yea, like whenever your mom wanted to scare, you'd be like.

That is true. And also because it's like I'm you know, I'm trying not to yell. M. I don't remember. I don't know how said I was when one of my friends went time, but I did the talking through the teeth thing and my friend.

Yeah, because it's like when someone talks to you between their teeth, it's like they already bit you. That's the level of scared you get where like you're over your mouth. Your mouth, they're not necessary not to for in the skirtles.

It is the thing that children will get you to that place.

Yeah. Yeah, because now you'll see these videos like you saw that dude straight up press his teacher, like really want to fight his teacher that's always happened. Okay, there's a video of like the reason that this one went viral though, is because the teacher did swing on him, right, is a black boy? Uh he was what move on? I believe he was hispanic and the teacher was black, right, and the kid is like up and like in his

Know, at a certain point, because it's like when I think about like my male friends would tell me, like when they got to a certain age, wouldn challenge their father mm hmm, and he I don't like what happened. He's like, but every friend was like, my dad punched me in my chest. Yeah, and then I sat the fuck down.

Also like that. That's the other thing too, is that it's like I don't know what this kid's home life was. I don't know what. I don't know anything about either one of these people. All I know is like if someone is people like everyone on the internet is such a saint when it's other people's problems. But it's like everyone commenting was like, you know, oh, he has to hold himself to a higher standard. Also that punching, But this guy is getting pressed for longer than I was

You didn't see the altercation beforehand. You did see the argument, you hop up then walk to the class. This shit's probably been going on for ten full minutes.

And so it's like after a while, the kids like, all right, ah, I don't know. I don't know what to tell you. And then they started. Then they start swinging on each other, and now you're fighting a grown man. And then this is the most annoying thing is that? So I did, I was like, I'm not gonna watch this whatever, right, and then someone later I saw it

Yeah, I've had an argument for a tea, but argument with a teacher lasts forever, forever, because neither one of you will back down. There's long moments of silence, like the longest I remember one of my teachers and high school arguing with him because like my economics class, I just could never get economic one. I need to see things two. Economics is completely made up. Of course we go on recessions. Of course we're going to depressions because all of this shit is fucking fictional right m hm.

Yeah, yeah yeah. That's also where he realizes as an adult, it's like, maybe I've taken this thing too far.

The sixteen year old is the one that shut this down.

Yeah yeah, maybe the fact that I wanted more of this is like a little weird.

Sir, I'm starting that moment. He was like, she can't be I'm forty.

I also can't let her be right for long in the classroom, like like if he lets you be right for a quick second, it's like, hey, all right, he's still in charge, right right. So it seems like this, this moment right now is the perfect time to kick it to the listener and let them know. Ay, you don't even really have to vote. You don't even have to let us know how you feel as much as other episodes, because Poweraide is better And that's just not way it is.

No, it's not it's better. Listen, it's not.

No, she just doesn't get it. And that's all right, nigga.

The whole point of a sports drink is to rehydrate you, and there is science that proves that gatorade hydrates you better because of the components of Gatorade.

It's not like, who is he even looking Who is he looking at? Do y'all know who he's looking at? Uh?

You know, let us know what you think. Let us know if it's gatorade for you, powerade for you. Let us know which one quenches your thirst, which one makes you feel like you're ready to get back out there on the field, on the court.

When was the last time he was on the field.

I don't really have to answer, yes.

You do, Yes you do. I've never been an athlete and never tried to act like I was an athlete. Use, on the other.

Hand, no, mes okay, yes you's.

Joshua Ezekiel Johnson sitting up acting like that just because listen, if you was playing soccer at the same time he was getting orange slices. You wasn't You wasn't even varsity, baby, you weren't even JV.

Wow, we're talking about varsity. Okay, look, let me just let you know where I am today. Okay, help me from falling out on that field, help me.

Power adinet got you doing a podcast in a padded room?

You rather I go with your gatorade, with your your your ditch dined and dugout data eighte. But yeah, y'all, let us know how you feel you.

Let us know that Josh is once again wrong, wrong, wrong.

Y'all have a great rest of the day and a wonderful weekend. All right, pill say just doesn't get it.

Josh is always wrong.

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