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We've got huge breaking news out of Italy tonight that puts.
The holy and holy ship. Let's get into the headlines.
Now.
You've been waiting to hear back from the Vatican about that resume you sent in bad news.
The position has been filmed.
And I think we see it, sorry and certain it looks like smoke and white smoke.
Oh whit.
We have smoke and it is white smoke.
It would appear to be a white smoke, white smoke.
We have a pope we are watching, and everyone to breathe it in.
The white smoke, breathe it in.
I didn't know we were supposed to hot box the pope smoke.
But white smoke means there's a new pope. And way do you get a load of where he came from history.
At the Vatican, the first ever American pope.
We have the first American pope.
And let me just say, as an American, are you sure about this? We don't really have the gravitas that you associate with popiness. We're less somber procession and more monster truck rally. I just think it's a little bit weird that the holiest man in the world probably knows all the words to the Chili's Babyback Rid song.
Kind of weird.
In fact, I was trying to come up with a way to explain why the idea of an American pope feels like such a contradiction. But I think the way the news broke here kind of sums it up.
What is going on here?
Your son was sleeping with your fiance and your fiance was leaving with your son.
That is correct. When I found that out, I confronted Andrea, she.
Is a Fox News special record.
Wait what happened with Andrea? Go back to the gross love triangle?
I love that stuff, But the votes are counted and the Vatican doesn't have a January sixth, so there's no going back. Let's find out more about this American. Excuse me, Pope Americano.
Born in nineteen fifty five in Chicago, Robert Francis Prevost has been a cardinal for only two years.
He's big into tennis. He's effectually known as.
Father Bob, A Cubs fan. He loves to cook.
Italian media has referred to him as the least American of the Americans because of his quiet, humble wig.
Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa, whoa whoa.
So you're telling me that you think all Americans are loudmouthed jackasses, Well fuck you, humble humble, I'm the most humble bitch.
You've ever seen. Let's get back to the pope.
Of course, the first job of every new pope is to pick a pope name, which we all know is supposed to be the name of your first pet in the street you grew up on.
And he went a different.
Way, Robert Francis Prevost of Chicago taking on the name of Pope Leo the fourteenth.
Leo the fourteenth.
Did he choose it the way we pick a new email address? Does he dot lightick has taken?
Okay? What about? Does he dot LIGHTIK two? Really? Three?
Really?
Four?
Fine?
Does he dot LIGHTIK fourteen?
But yes, Robert Prevot's new name is Leo the fourteenth, which sucks for him because he just got his real ID.
D it.
Because now I've always found this odd. The church is so conservative on gay issues. But then they turn around and make its leader choose a drag name and make it quick. We got to get you to your gown fitting. You're gonna look so fierce woo. But after he picked his pope name, he came out and gave his first speech in both Italian and Spanish about the need for unity and peace on earth. So q peace and unity in three two one, And.
I would have loved for the first pope from America to say something in English.
I was a little surprised that a Chicago native did not say a few words in English.
He's talking Spanish. He's an American and he didn't even speak in English.
He's spoke in Latin, Spanish and Italian.
Did not speak He.
Did not speak in English. I mean, I don't know how you claim that this is an American pope if you won't even speaking in a native tongue, That to me was very disturbing.
Yes, yes, how dare you?
If English was good enough for Jesus, it's good enough for the pope.
Shame shame on you. Come on, does it really matter what language he speaks? It's church. You're going to be sleeping through it.
Anyway, And besides, there's going to be plenty of other stuff for conservatives to throw a tantrum about.
There's some tweets that when the Pope is still a cardinal that are getting a lot of attention online that are politically charged.
This one is directly rebuking jd Vance.
The new Pope.
Hope we are the fourteenth said jd Vance is wrong.
The new Pope is not like jd Vance. He really is an everyday American. Be careful, though, father, if you piss off jd.
Vance, He's going to pay you a visit. We want that.
For more on the new Pope, let's go to the Vatican with Michael Costa.
Michael, let's be analysis.
I'll tell you my analysis.
Usa, usa, usay.
I take it. You're excited. The Pope is American?
Is the Pope Catholic? An American?
Yep?
We won the conclave, baby, suck it. Rest of the world. Who the Pope's from?
Chicago?
America's number one in terms of mustard consumption. Now let's shotgun this communion wine.
Hey, yeah, body of Christ to calm down.
I don't think it was a competition between countries.
Oh sure, Now that we won. They'll say it wasn't a competition. They said we couldn't do it. They said our cardinal roster didn't have the depth, that we'd have to rebuild for years before we got a pope. Well guess who's kissing our ring now? Mother f is Okay, yeah, hey, Cardinal Matteo ZUPI tell me how my ass tastes.
Michael, you're at the Vatican. Stop swearing.
Oh you're right, my bad, shit, so sorry, I'm so so pumped.
I'm so pumped.
Are you even Catholic?
Am I Catholic?
No?
I'm not.
But I'm American, Okay, which means I get really excited when we win stuff Conclaves, space races, Toyotas, Academy Awards. Hey, Bong June Hoe, tell me how my ass taste?
All right, look, I appreciate your patriotism, but this could have been a chance to have a pope from underrepresented countries. There's never been a pope from Africa or Asia.
Oh oh yeah, well you know there's never else you know where else? There hasn't been a pope before today? America?
Okay?
And what country is less represented on the world stage than America? Do you know, there's never been an American queen of England. Think about that.
Okay, can you actually give me some analysis here? What is Pope Leo going to bring to the papacy?
Yeah?
Well, you know, the pope has very important responsibility. He's got the hat, he rides in that car that you can see through. He's got that magic scepter and he's like, you shall not pass.
Haasa haasa.
That's Gandalf.
You don't know anything about the papacy.
Much less what an American will bring to it.
Look, I don't know what he's going to bring to the papacy, but the thing about US Americans is that we're not sticklers for the rules. So it'll be nice to have a pope who's not going to be a hard ass for every single little commandment. You know, I mean, this whole can't say the Lord's name in vain. Jesus Christ, give me a party.
Michael, stop swaying.
Cares. Okay, I'm getting into heaven no matter what. You want to know why because I know a guy.
Oh all right, Michael, everybody, Oh my god, make the.
Latest culture Wars about away.
Show the US military is the fiercest fighting machine to ever exists, not counting Andre the Giant. But now the Trump Anddministration is banning a select group of soldiers from entering combat.
Jordan Klipper has more.
The US military the most powerful and respected organization in the entire world. Few have what it takes, the discipline, the strength, the bravery, the sacrifices made to serve our country. But according to the Trump White House, there's an enemy with him. Everything's transgender.
Everybody transgender.
That's all you hear about.
The Supreme Court will allow the Trump administration to.
Begin enforcing a ban on transgender service members.
No more pronouns, no more dudes in dresses.
We're done with that shit.
And I had some hard hitting questions, so as the Daily Show senior war correspondent LEI had the guts to a paper cuts ah once recovered. I met with some transgender individuals to hear their unqualifications.
My name is Lieutenant Ray Timberlake.
I'm in the United States Navy and I've been serving for about seventeen years.
My name is Clayton, and I've been trying to go for Pair Rescue PJ in the Air Force and it's a special warfare career field.
I'm Second Lieutenant Nicholas Talbot with the United States Army Reserve. I've been in for a little over a year.
I'm Joe Allis. I'm a Chief Warrant officer too, and the Virginia Army National Guard. I've served for fifteen years the U sixty years as a Blackhawk.
I don't want to twelve war stories, but I've flown Spirit airlines twice, so I no danger. They seem qualified to me, But there are others who think they're weakening are military.
They can't go to sea, they can't fly airplanes in combat, they can't deploy with the army into combat areas.
We should never allow anyone in the military to undergo transition surgery, which would make them medically unqualified to deploy.
This idea that we spend years of being non deployable is just simply undrewe I've never missed a deploy I can fight tonight.
They've paid for nothing for my transition. I paid out of pocket because I wanted to be mission ready as fast as possible. In six weeks, I was deployable again, and I'm deployable today. They spend many times more on biagra than they do on gender firming care.
If we don't have viagra in the military, then who is going to take care of Pete haiksas whiskey Dick.
I mean, that's not how I want to serve my country.
Turns out, the US military spends eight times more on viagra than gender a firming care, over thirty seven million more to be exact, And on top of that, replacing transgender troops could cost an estimated nine hundred and sixty million dollars in recruiting and training, which ain't easy.
It's it's very physically intense. After going through a pretty extensive medical exam to even get into the military, going to basic training, it's a lot like what most people think it is. It's like it's pretty Yeah, it's boot camp.
I did theater camp. It's tough. My tour duty was South Pacific. Ellie wise calling RELLI Hi? Is that hotwood?
Yeah?
All the trans people that are serving go above and beyond the standards and they do their job every day.
But it's interesting to hear that we are too strong for sports but too weak for the military.
Being too weak for both, I was curious why anyone would want to kick out these dedicated individuals.
If I'm in a foxhoul, I don't want to know whether this guy next to me is wondering if he's a woman or a man, or flip back and forth.
Because everyone knows when you're fighting on the front lines, the real enemies are the preferred pronouns of the person next to you.
So I go by rank and last name. If someone uses a pronoun that I don't prefer, I really don't care. To me, it's a distraction. Like my job is to fly the helicopter.
I'm curious what the reaction has been to you being trans in the military.
I received an outpouring of support when I came out.
They're my family and at my back.
At the end of the day, nobody cares about is whether I can perform my job when I have that uniform on.
Lucky nice to have respectful co workers. I work with this guy running. He's a total dick. He's just a dick.
So if the people in the military itself don't care, then why do the administration impose an executive order stating this.
An adoption of a gender identity inconsistent with an individual sex can float with a soldier's commitment to an honorable, truthful, and disciplined lifestyle.
I was named an honor graduate at Basic training, so I would say, you know, at least someone out there agrees that I have some honor and some discipline in me.
Would you leak war plans on signal?
Are you that disciplined?
I don't have any plans to do, so.
Good to know.
If more people met trans people like us, then there would be no issue.
If the world's on fire. These are the folks I want in the fox hole. But would they want me? Do you guys think I would be an asset in the US military?
How many push ups can you do?
It's sort of like jazz. It's all about the push ups you don't do. And right now I'm not doing a million.
How fast can you run two miles?
Well, I can drive it in under forty seconds.
Yeah.
So I was at Fortsville, Oklahoma for Basic training. It was about one hundred and twenty degrees fahrenheit most days.
Yeah, that's not going to work for me.
If I'm in the sun for more than seven minutes, I get heat rash.
Just like that.
Have you ever tried an MRI?
Uh?
Yeah, and it told me that it was just a little fracture in my foot.
I think what you're talking about a MRI. No MRI is a meal that's ready to eat.
Yeah, military ship.
While lawsuits are still pending and the fight's not over. I imagine these troops have lost the appetite to fight for a country that refuses to acknowledge they even exist.
President Trump is my commander in chief, and I will gladly answer the cough he calls me up to active duty.
America's my home, this is my country, this is you know, where I want to be and who I want to fight for.
I'm willing to serve. I'm able to serve, and I can get the job done.
I'd say, come to the fleet, come to the field.
Comes to you.
What the thousands of transgender service members do every day in support of our nation's defense.
Sounds like patriot isn't for me.
But what do I know?
I didn't serve because of post.
And when we come back, Michelle, you call will be trying on the.
Show, Go go away, Welcome back to the Daily Show. My guest.
Tonight is an actor, writer, and comedian who created in stars in the Netflix series Survival.
Of the thickest. Please welcome Michelle.
You to.
Oh this is nice, it's nice.
I feel like we need more dance breaks.
We do with times. We gotta get it.
We gotta get it in twins.
Yes instead of magic Mike, it's like magic Michelle.
Is this a tear away suit?
Not yet?
Mine is really I'll show you later. They're like, no, don't do that. You're beautiful, Come on now, you stop it.
And you're so funny, So just everything.
No, no, no, no.
I am such a fan of yours, and I'm so happy that you're here. Congratulations on the second season.
Of your show.
Thank you so much.
Yeah, season two, you have recent special out You're about to go on tour.
Yes, you're the mother of twins. Yes, first question.
Yeah, yeah.
Would you like to go take a quick nap in my.
No, you know what, I'm sleeping right now. You wouldn't know. You bought the moments.
Yeah, I mean.
Yeah, it's a nice part about like not being on your phone all the time, to take those breaks, you know, to actually see your children living in the world, crossing a street, being like just so cute and grown, having time to be creative. I'm just you guys, put your phones down and start like you pick a book up.
Yet I can't say it enough. It's like, really to create stuff.
Yeah, killing advice, especially when they're little like your's. You're you have six year old, they're six, right, Yeah. I love the way you describe your daughter, Hazel, Oh my god, having the vibes of a fifty three year old woman who works with a.
D m B.
Yes, a fifty three year old black woman that works the DV.
You know what I mean, because you know, you know who.
This fuscificity, because she rolls up at the playground and she's like, is this what y'all.
Meant to do? I'm like, hey's hole, it wouldn't be nice.
I love her, you know. I love that, and I love it.
To I mean, I want them to be honest, just not with me all the time.
Yes, hold back a little bit.
Just a little bit. She told me my elbows look old. I was like, girl, eat your peace.
What does that even mean?
I mean, my elbows look a little haunted. They're a little gray at the top of a pigeon's head. We don't want to get into it.
Let's talk about the show.
We'll talk about the show. I do want to talk about your show? This is season two? Yeah.
You Your character Mavis explores dating all kinds of relationships, building this beautiful budding career. You're now in a phase of your life where you have this booming career, married, you have kids. Is this is this your opportunity to go back and get a do over, do some things differently kind of?
So, you know, Mavis is the name of my grandmother, and she was my person, she was my soulmate. I think you could have more than one sold me and you don't know how they're going to come to you, you know, And so it's so nice hearing her name on set all the time. But you know, I wrote this book, Survival of the Thickest, And when I brought the twins home, I'm like, I'll have time to write a book now. I don't know what I was thinking. Yeah, And my husband was just like, are you gonna finish
this book? I was like, that feels like a lot of question. And he found Joan Rivers old desk at Housing Works or some sort of like place. Yeah, yes, some sort of vintage shop, and brought the desk home.
I wrote the book on the desk.
There was like legit energy in this desk wrote the book and I'm like, I did this like artist thing where I was like, who's going to read this book? Why I should I even write it? And I'm like, write it for you, just to get something done. And I couldn't have ever imagine that it would turn into two seasons of a show.
And so what was.
Really fun was working with my co career and showrunner Danielle Sanchez Witzel, who's done The Carmichael Show and he's worked on New Girl, and so she has like amazing experience with the unique voices, and it was pulling these stories, these essays from like.
Fifteen to thirty five, forty.
Two and.
Putting them in a world that I wanted to see on television, you know, in New York that reflects my New York with fat, black, brown, queer, non binary voices. And I feel like we've done a bang up job doing that. This season, we have you know, spoiler alert. If you haven't seen it, you need to see it. If you've seen it, episode six, agree the categories love.
We have a.
Beautiful trans wedding.
You know Peppermint, who's a beautiful black dress woman who's also a drag reformer gets married, and it's just it is not only the New York that I live in, but it's also the America I want to live in.
What a lot of what.
I want to talk about the fact that you are wearing all the hats on this show you mentioned.
You created, you write, you produce, you star in.
What does it feel like to have that kind of creative freedom and also responsibility?
Gosh, I mean it feels damn good. Yeah, it feels really good.
And I will say, you know, I've been doing stand up comedy for over twenty years, and you know, doing projects with a lot of friends, including a producer on your show, Devin, Like, We've done a lot of stuff together.
And the thing is, we do like a lot of.
Stuff for free for so long. And so when people come to me and they ask me, how do I start making money? How do I get to the next level? I just say, keep doing it.
Be so good.
By the time you get in that seat, by the time you get that job, you can't mess it up because you've done it for ten, twelve, fifteen years for free, So you already know all the things that could happen.
You know what I mean? And also like, emit what you don't know?
Yes?
You know, yes, and tell that.
To the administration. One take that up.
Yeah, it's this Season two is real steamy when it comes to the sex scenes.
Did you see it?
Yes, very steamy, very And I'm just wondering, was that your call?
And how do you want.
As it should be? How do I push for more sex scenes here at the Daily Show.
I'll talk to the administration.
Yeah, you know, I this is a body positive show, you know, and I'm positive we all got a body And it was really important for me to show my silhouette and other silhouettes being loved down, you know, because we are worthy of love at any size or shade or shape, even down to like you know, not even down to like not wearing a lot of makeup, to show, especially young women, you are beautiful the way you are.
You deserve to be.
Loved however that looks, you know. So it was so important too to work with a very diverse casting crew, and you know, seventy percent of the heads of our department are female, and because you know, we get some done, and so it was really important as a plus size actor to be you know, working with women who know how to light you know, the biscuits.
And it's Thanksgiving dinner on the table, you know what I mean.
Gotta light those biscuits. You gotta light them good.
The bucket of chickens, they gotta be seen, the legs and the thighs.
What am I talking about?
What?
I don't know who I am, but.
I want to talk about your your stand up And first of all, you were the first female comedian ever to film a special at Radio City Music Hall. Yeah, it does to break that beautiful glass ceiling.
My goodness.
That was.
I think if it's if it's not a little scary, then like, why then why are you not doing it? Does that make sense? Like it should be a little scary. You should be a little excited. You should push yourself, you know, no matter what you have on your resume, or what you have in your bank account, or what you think you can and cannot do, just try, you know, because you're just gonna end up in the same position
anyways if it doesn't work out. And so I thought, you know what, let's see, it's really crazy that a woman has not filmed there. And I'm like, this isn't even about me, It's about them, you know. And the only reason why I even thought I could play Radio City Music Hall is because years ago I opened for Jonathan VanNess, you know. So that's that should be the name of the game. We should be helping each other up, you know, uplifting, divers, fat.
And so a beautiful mind.
That Rady sitting was a call was it.
Was really it was so special. I was like more excited than my wedding.
Oh, yes, you should be, Yes, your husband, but that's a huge accomplishment. Yes, And you really are inspiring to so many women out there. One thing that strikes me as so special about you is that you infuse so much joy and positivity in your comedy and in.
All of your work.
You you are so excellent at these like hard, assertive, very funny, powerful jokes, but you never lose touch with your humanity. Do you ever find that challenging when times are tough, Like how do you channel that energy asking for a friend?
No, it's it's I'm a joyful person, you know.
And so.
Not only my mom and my Grandma may Is and my great Grandma Hays, like all these women in my family.
Everybody in my family has had.
To really fight for their joy and their peace, and they thought so I could be here, and so that's not wrong on me. And you know, when you start from a place of like, let's have fun, you know, how can we find comedy on the other side of pain? Then I do believe that I will always be okay, you know, because sometimes it is perspective and we have to be aware that things are happening and there is injustices.
But like, how do we like, how do we find our joy in the day? You know what I mean? Because then if we're not happy, then they've won.
Right, that's right. You are so entired and such a joy to be around me.
Thank you for being here.
My little think of you. Streaming on Netflix now the show.
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