Elon Musk Buys Twitter | Gia and Raashaun "DJ Envy" Casey

take a seat. We've got a hot show for you from the Breaks Club. DJ ANDV is gonna be joining us with his wife Gia to talk about their new book on how to Make Your Marriage Work. You're gonna love it. It's trending online. It's a really insightful book. And we're gonna figure out why Marjorie Taylor Green and half of the GOP can't seem to remember what happened on January six. So let's do these people. Let's jump

straight into today's headlines. All right, Let's begin with the latest twist in the will they won't they story that everyone is talking about Elon Musk and Twitter. It's the hottest and messiest relationship drama this side of Riverdale, and it looks like, after weeks of flirtation and fighting, the new couple has officially done the deed. Now it is official. Elon Musk has bought Twitter for approximately forty four billion. He's going to be paying each share of Twitter fifty

four dollars and twenty cents. In a statement released by the company, Mr Musk said free speech is the bedrock of a functioning democracy, and Twitter is the digital town square where matters vital to the future of humanity are debated. This is a dramatic turn of events from earlier this month, when Twitter was that to decline Musk offer, adopting a so called poison pill to block in. That's right, people.

Twitter said it would never sell to Elon Musk, and then he produced the cash and they're like, all right, we'll sell. Yes. I guess they found that edit button after all. It's actually kind of a historic moment. This is the first time anyone at Twitter has changed their mind about anything well done. I feel like Twitter was always going to sell to Elon though, right, They just

couldn't be too eager about it. You know, it's like a like a husband and a wife where it's like, Ah, I am not going to that wedding, forget it, it's not gonna happen. And then three months later it's like, how does my boat? I look? How does it? It looks good? Do you think it does? I honestly don't know why Elon would want to own Twitter all right? It just doesn't seem like a fun place to supervise right now. You know, it's like buying Jurassic Park after

the power went down and the cages are opened. Yeah, you're gonna spend a lot of time replacing jeep windshields. That's what I'm saying. But the truth is, look, in many ways, this is a really smart move by Elon Musk because wealthy men know the value in owning publishing platforms. Yeah, it's why Jeff Bezos bought the Washington Post's why Rupert Murdoch bought the Wall Street Journal. It's why Confucius owns

those fortune cookies. Yeah, because you see, then he knows that none of us will play his lucky numbers in the latto and as genius. So you see, by buying Twitter, Elon Musk gets to own one of the most culturally influential publishing platforms in the world. I mean to remember this, think about it. Twitter is how the Arab Spring took off. Right. Black Lives Matter blew up on Twitter, the Me too

movement started on Twitter. Trump used Twitter to turn himself from a reality show joke into the forty five president of the United States and a joke. So own Twitter gives you more power than the drug store employee with the key to the deodorant shelf. Yeah, yeah, you want to smell fresh, you best not pisto off Curtis. Don't play around, shut you down, walk around smelling musty. So

here's the thing. Look, whether you are for Elon Musk or against him, you've got to admit it is pretty crazy that one man is now in control of all of that. Because before this, Jack Dorsey didn't own Twitter. A lot of people think he didn't know he had two percent of the shares and even a CEO. He stilled to answers to the board, and the board still led to answers to the shareholders, and Twitter itself still had to answer to the SEC. But now as a

private company, it's just Elon Musk. Yeah, everything that happens on Twitter from now on is up to him. And also whatever strain his weak guy gives him that day. I'm just saying, if he gets the wrong fetiva, there could be a race war. People prepare yourselves like, this is the thing, whether it's a billionaire you like or a billionaire you hate. As a society, I think we should spend more time interrogating how easy it is for billionaires to shape our world in their favor. Just think

about it. You like it now, you don't like it now? But should they be able to do it? Oh? No? But let's move on from Twitter to a real battlefield, the invasion of Ukraine. Since before the invasion began, the United States has tried to put pressure on Russia using economic sanctions, which is basically taking away your allowance but for countries, and the US government has cost a wide net. It's gone off to Russian officials, oligos, companies, banks, and

of course Vladimir Putin himself. But it turns out there's one high profile Russian who has somehow avoided becoming a target. A new report explains why the US has so far refused to sanction Vladimir Putin's girlfriend and the mother allegedly of his three or three of his children. The U s government has considered but then pulled back on sanctioning and a woman long rumoved to be Putin's girlfriend, the

Russian gymnast Alena Kabeva. This is something that I was deemed so sensitive that they decided to hold off because they believed that Putin's response could be so irrational, so angry, um that there would be some sort of backlash. Wow, this is interesting. No, the US government has sanctioned everyone

except Putin's girlfriend. I guess they watched the oscars and they were like, maybe we should stay away from spouses we just declared safe and and before we get into the sanctions or not sanctions, am I the only person who shocked that Vladimia Putin has a girlfriend? Am I the only one? Like? If there's any man out there who has some red flags, girl, let me tell you about Glad. Yeah. I know some people like a bad boy, but this is next level, like this bad and then

this genocide. Okay. Also, Putin must be relieved that the US is not sanctioning his girlfriend, because, let's be honest, sanctions take a relationship to a whole new level. You know that puts a lot of pressure on the relationship. Can I always tell my friends sanctions in a relationship? Wolf? Oh yeah, it's a lot of pressure. Yeah yeah, I'm sure Putin was relieved. You know, he can't have America

being more serious about his relationship than he is. Can you imagine how Pisties girlfriend bees is just like lead the How come America treat me like your wife? But you still will not let me keep too hto And finally, let's move on to some entertainment news. You probably know Netflix as the service with great shows that get canceled just when you become a fan, and also the home

of the saddest episodes of Arrested Development ever. But right now, some of Netflix's biggest hits are actually imports from other countries, and one of the hottest series on Netflix right now is a reality show that is beloved in Japan, but has Americans a lot more divided. Japanese game shows have never been known for their subtlety, but one new offering

on Netflix has jaws dropping. Old Enough is an unscripted series and parents sending their two to five year old children run errands, from grocery shopping to dropping off dry cleaning or squeezing fresh juice. Netflix calling Old Enough the most wholesome show you've ever seen, but the Internet isn't convinced. Um, how is abandoning a tiny child to cross a busy road wholesome? It gave me anxiety. Sure it was cute,

but I'm not sure that's great parenting. And while the concept might seem bizarre to Western audiences, the show has been running for thirty seasons in Japan. Japan is very different than the US. Neighborhoods are more pedestrian friendly, and the culture is more trusting of kids. In Japan, parents chaperone their ten and eleven year olds on just fifteen percent of trips compared with six here. Some parenting experts

think American audiences can learn from the show. It's a little nerve racking to let your kids go, but when you do, they will just impress you. Oh they'll disappoint you. That should always be an awe. But yeah. One of Netflix's most popular shows, and easily one of my favorites, is Old Enough, which is all about kids doing things for themselves, and let's be honest, I mean, that's the best kind of kid. You know, it's like having a

self cleaning up and but it's a child. And I agree, I absolutely agree that kids should have more freedom than they do. This American obsession with protecting kids can actually mess with their heads. Like think about parents in America will leash their kids, but then let their dogs run around free. Your kids should never look at your pets and be like that lucky bash there. I don't care

what anyone says. Man, American parents are overbearing. You won't let your kids walk down the street by themselves, but then inside the house they just hand them an iPad and ignore them. The old day huh, just be like, mommy, will you read to me? No? No, no, no. Not Now I'm tweeting about how bad these Japanese parents are. Go on here, take the iPad, going to YouTube and learn about who rarely did ninety eleven? Go on, go on.

I don't get the anxiety people feel watching the show. Yes, these kids are running errands, Yes, but guys, there's a whole camera crew nearby by themselves. Well, there's a camera crew. If something was about to happen that was bad, that step in you know, It's not like a nature documentary with after stand by and let the tiger kill the gazelle. And now the window listens on approaches, end up SCons with Little Mikey. How's the sun sets on Main Street?

The circle of life is complete? All right? That's it for the headlines. Before we go to a break, that's checking on the stock market with our very own finance expert Michael. Cost to everybody is things are looking crazy. Michael, what is happening with the market today? Well, I am absolutely crushing the market, okay, and I'm saying and I got a hot tip for you, and I got a hot tip for you, So let's get into it. Actually

actually before I do that. The Japanese game show, Yeah, I mean, that's unreal, right, you know, I mean, I know American adult children who can't execute those tasks, you know what I mean. I mean? But but parents, you've gotta be careful sending your kids out to do errands. I mean, I remember when I was a kid and my dad asked my twenty five year old sister to go get the family orange juice. She drove to Mexico

and joined the cult. You know what I mean? What reminds me, Christie, if you're watching this, uh, we still need orange juice back at the house. So look, I'm okay, Trevor, I'm I'm so thankful this show takes place in Japan. You know, imagine a place like South Africa where the kids would have to watch out for all the giraffe in the streets or no, no, no, no, no, no, no cost cost No, we have giroffes, but we don't have them in the streets because you don't have streets. Dude,

don't be ashamed. You're doing good. You're doing good. You're doing good. Look, maybe the reason I'm not impressed with these Japanese kids is that as a kid myself, I spent a lot of a lone time. So look, look, my dad used to take me camping, and and as I was setting up the camp site, he would he would drive off and he'd say, I'll be back in

a few minutes. And you know, it would be a couple of days usually, And sometimes i'd be up there on the mountain and it would start to get cold, and I wouldn't have a lot of drinking water, so I would I would warm the snow with my hands and then eventually I would I would pack up the stuff, and I would start the long trek home, you know, through the winding, unforgiving mountains, and eventually I would bust through the door of home, and my mom she'd be

so happy to see me. She'd be crying and she'd be embracing me. And my dad he'd be so surprised, he'd be screaming. You know. Anyways, I love camping. And then and then the next time he would take me, we would drive even further away from the house. But but but I remember, as I would, as I would trek through the mountains and hunt antelope with my bare hands, that the one thought that would get me through all this, Trevor was was my mom's warm embrace and her sweet smile.

I think, So you wanna get to the markets real quick? Or the markets are bad? The markets are bad? Okay, red is bad, Red is bad, Red is bad? All right, Okay, these lines you got to ignore these unfortunately. Uh, my apologies. I uploaded all my computer data into my financial app. These are really just personal stuff that measures on my computer. This this is my salary once I passed it through inflation. Uh.

The green line or all my Twitter followers. Once I talk about race relations in the United States, the green or my effectiveness of erections as I grow older, It's it's an odd thing to measure. But I did agree to Apple's terms and conditions. So look, look, here's my hot tip. Here's my hot tip. Bonds. Okay, as this is showing red, invest in bonds. Michael costa financial expert, believes in bonds, especially the bond between a mother and her son, because as I'm gnawing on a coyote carcass,

it's the only vision that gets me home safe. And also when I lose my money in the stock market, it's that bond I can rely on for a couple of extra bucks. So I uh, I think you were abandoned, Michael, Thank you so much for that. All right, when we come back, we'll figure out why nobody can remember what happened on January six. You don't want to miss it. You have been as therapy, I mean, welcome back to

the Daily Show. A little over a year ago, thousands of Trump supporters stormed the Capitol Building in an attempt to stop the election from being certified, and they wanted to declare Donald Trump super president forever, no backseas. Now, what we're surprising is that by and large the Republican Party has decided not to hold any of that against Donald Trump. And I mean, let's be honest, how can

you still made a dispace? Ya ya yahya. But the Capital riot it wasn't even the scariest thing that happened on January six, because you see, my friends, we're now finding out that something else happened that day. Countless Republicans seem to have had their memories erased. I know it sounds crazy, but but okay, look at what happened to Kevin McCarthy, the leader of the House Republicans and guy who has definitely called rap music the hippote hop. He's

one of Trump's firmer supporters. Never waived in public even after January six. So when The New York Times reported that McCarthy had privately told colleagues that he thought Trump should resign, he denied it fiercely. He had no memory of seeing anything like that. And then the tapes dropped. I've had it with this guy. What he did it unacceptable. Um, nobody can defend that, and nobody think defended I mean,

you only discusting me. I would have with him is that it would be my recommendation you should be It is my recommendation that he should resign. But yet McCarthy's memory of that call was completely wiped. Yeah, on January tenth, he was all, I've had it with this guy, and then two weeks later he was chilling at Mara Lago. Yeah, dude, quit Trump the way most of us quit Twitter. I was like, I'm deleting this app. Actually I'm not gonna delete it, but I won't check it again until right now.

Twe tweet tree, did you miss me? And by the way, a lot of people were wondering if getting caught on tape slamming then Trump would be the end of Kevin McCarthy's political career. I mean, this is Trump's party. You know. If Trump comes out against him, that's it. It's over all. It takes is one crying Kevin betrayed me, and it's done. But instead Trump came out and said he and McCarthy are fine. In fact, he said, I think it's all a big compliment. Frankly, they realized they were run and

supported me. Yeah, you see, Trump loves this stuff. In fact, if you used to be against him, and now you're not. He likes those people more than someone who loved him the whole time, because it shows that he made you bend the knee. Yeah, the dude loves converting people more than scientologists and vegans combined. Let me tell you something now, if Hillary Clinton herself came out right now as pro Trump, I don't care what anyone says. Let me tell you

right now, she would be his new favorite person. He'd be like, do we love crooked Hillary? Folks, do we love her? Let her out? Let her out Let her so good, so good? I love her. I love her. She was so cheeky, used to be cheeky. So yeah. Kevin McCarthy completely forgot what he said on and around January six. But it's not just him. Take Rick Perry,

Trump's Energy secretary. A few months ago, CNN reported that Perry was the author of a text message laying out a plan for overturning the election, and Perry said, absolutely not, it never happened. But then today CNN got hold of the complete message and it's actually signed Rick Perry. Yeah. I don't know what's worse the fact that he was part of an insurrection or the fact that he signed his text message. That's such an old person thing to do.

It's worse than when my grandfather bought a bigger TV because he thought it would fit more channels in it. So look, obviously something happened to Rick's memory too. But as worried as I am for those guys people, I am really concerned about Marjorie Taylor Green, congresswoman from Georgia and soccer mom, who's definitely slatched the other team's bus hires. You see, a few of mtgs constituents have filed a lawsuit to disqualify her from Congress based on her role

in January six. Yeah, apparently there's something in the constitution that says you count run for office if you do an insurrection against the government. You know how people are crazy ideas back then and now, look, we all know it's probably not gonna work. But Marjorie Taylor Green was still forced to testify out of hearing on Friday, and it looks like nobody has been hit harder by January six amnesia than her. You didn't talk to anybody in government about the fact that they were going to be

large protests in Washington on January six. I don't remember he spoke to Representative Biggs or his staff about that fact, didn't you? I did not remember. How about Representative Sorry? Sorry, I don't remember. Did anyone ever mention to you the possibility that there might be violence in Washington? I don't remember. Ms. Green. This is a tweet that you sent out on January two in two correct? I'm not sure? Okay, you don't

recall this. I don't recall tweeting that. Now, did you advocate the President Trump to impose martial law as a way to remain in power? Don't? You don't recall if you wanted to impose martial law? You don't. Wow. I wish I had Margery Taylor Green's memory. Yeah. I once said, enjoy your dinner to a waiter in two thousand three, and I still think about it every day every day. Enjoy your dinner. You enjoy your dinner. Kill me. Meanwhile, she can't even remember if she told the president to

impose martial law. Yo, yo, let me tell you something that should be an easy one for most people. If you ever asked the president to impose martial law, you would never forget something that specific, like if anyone can't say no to doing something that specific and weird. You definitely did that ship. Um, I have I ever tried

to steal a horse and ride it inside a bouncy castle? Um, your honor, I do not recall, um, but you gotta admit that sounds like something a pretty cool guy would do, right, right, members of the jury, Right, yeah, but if it's not cool, then I do not recall. Yeah, I don't remember. So. Marjorie Taylor Green spent the entire hearing denying that she had any memory of anything to do with January six.

But it turns out, my friends, that may be acute to the semnesia, because one thing that can bring it back, even if just for a little bit, is evidence. And in another moment, Taylor Green first denied that she had called how Speaker Nancy Pelosi a traitor to her country, before kind of hedging a little bit when faced with actual evidence of saying it. In fact, you think that Speaker Pelosi is a traitor to the country, right, You're I'm not answering that question of speculation. You've said that

having human screen, that she's a trader to the country. No, I hadn't said that okay, put up parents Exhibit five please. Oh no wait hold on now oh no no wait wait wait wait wait no no, no, no no, Now that you busted me, I remember the whole thing. Yeah, yeah, no, no, no, no, no, no, yeah, I remember it now. I love that move. Yes, that's that's when you tell your mom, yeah, I did my homework and she's like, oh yeah, yeah, well let me show it to me and you're like, oh, homework, Yeah,

I thought you meant my work at home. I'll do that now, Thank you mom for reminding me. Yeah, no, thank you so much for that. Look, man, I mean, clearly this person is unqualified for Congress because politicians are supposed to be good at line. Okay, this was just embarrassing. Okay, in my defense, I didn't know you had evidence. I mean I never have evidence for the stuff I said. I didn't even know there was a thing you could do. Keep in mind, people, this stuff only happened a little

over a year ago. It's not like they're being asked to remember their prom dates. Eye color. These are trick questions, but nobody in the Republican Party can seem to remember planning the insurrection or talking about it or even how they felt about it at the time. Kevin McCarthy, Marjorie Taylor Green, Jim Jordan's. The list goes on and on. When it comes to the events surrounding that day, it's almost like it's been erased from their memories, which is

obviously ridiculous. Unless on the next season of Severance, did you talk to the White House about trying to overturn the election? I did not remember. It's one thing to forget work, or to say McCarthy simpably doesn't remember what he said about Mr Trump's culpability call you're talking about. Jim Jordan's can't seem to remember when he talked to Trump on January six. I don't know if I spoke with him in the morning or not. I just don't

know when those conversations happened. But what if an entire political party couldn't remember January six? Did you talk with other congressmen about overturning the election? I have no idea. That's a perfect score. Sometimes it's just easier to forget. Hello, coming to Apple TV Plus this fall and still like you john it again? All right? When we come back. D j Envy and his wife Gia are gonna tell you how to save your marriage. They don't go away.

Welcome back to the Daily Show. My guests tonight's are DJ and radio host Rashawn Envy and his wife Gia Casey that you have to talk about their new book about their twenty seven year relationship called Real Life, Real Love. Please welcome Gia and d J N Dan. Welcome to the Day Show. Thanking your book has caused quite a storm. I'm sure you have noticed. You know, they're an many books about marriages and relationships that get everyone online talking,

which I actually think is a good thing. But I want to start with the why. You know, some people write books about how they did what they did in the relationship. It's always one person in the couple. You wrote a book together. It's really intimate. It is also

really vulnerable. Tell me why. Well, for us, like you said, we've been together for twenty seven years, married almost twenty one years, and people constantly come up to us, friends, family, sometimes even people on the street asking us how is it that we kept it together? And I don't really like that question because kept it together kind of gives the impression that you did it somewhat under duress. I think the better question is seven years later, why do

we still want to be together? I like that because marriage is a choice, but a lot of people don't look at it as a choice. It's like after the honeymoon stage is over, after the big beautiful wedding, typically around seven years down the line, it's as though if people feel as though they're trapped there or being held in advice, and I start wandering, but why is it that now we still want to be there? So we

wanted to let people know. It really gets into the nitty gritty of relationships in a way that like, you know, like you you're DJ Envy, you know what I'm saying. And I was surprised by the vulnerability you put in this book because you can talk about in the book. There's no denying that hip hop for a long time has has operated in a shroud of bravado. Correct. You know, so hip hop has all been about I don't even talk about my wife. You don't know if I have

my wife. I'm about the streets. You know that these ladies in the streets, it's it's a it's a feeling, an idea. And you've come out of DJ Envy and you're going no hear the mistakes I made. Here's how I was insecure as a man, Here's how I could have been a better husband. Was there not a part of you that was worried that the DJ envy would now basically be, you know, losing himself to to tell the truth. I think these are the conversations we need

to have, if you think about it. We can go to the ballber shop and we talk about our favorite NBA player, we can talk about our favorite sneak is, our favorite music. But sometimes things that are important we need to discuss as well, and that is relationships. I wish I had somebody at the ball and shop and say, hey, look, my wife is men are arguing about this. Am I right? Is she right? What do I do? You know? How

do we solve this conversation? How do we get into a situation where we're not right fighting meaning we're just fighting to win, but we actually want to, you know, get to the same place and have a better you know, description of whatever we're arguing about, because at the end of the day, we're on the same team. If we're arguing, we should be arguing to I should be trying to annihilate her. She should be trying to destroy me an argument, We should be trying to get to an understanding where

we could both understand. It seems impossible though that, Like I mean, the book starts off and honestly one of the most vulnerable places, which I which I commend you for because I think a lot of people live in a silo where they think their relationship is terrible and everyone's living great relationship because they're on Instagram, right, And then you read the book and then you go like,

oh boy, relationships are tough. People are struggles. You talk about infidelity, you know, you talk about in the beginning of the book you were a shitty man to her. You talk about this in the book. No, no, it's I'm not I'm not saying you guys. You talk about being controlling, you talk about being like you know, you have this, You're like, yeah, you can't go that. You're gonna go with me here and you're gonna be in the booth when I'm tj you you talk about this.

That's a vulnerable place to put yourself in, and it's an honest place like that is an interesting thing to do as a person. I want to know why you thought you need to include that. You didn't keep it vague. You're like here specifically how I was shipping. Well, I wanted to talk about what I did to be so

shitty relationships. I was a good husband too at one point now, but but you know, also, I have a twenty year old, you know, and she goes to n y U and I wanted to teach her and show her what she should be looking at right because I tell him, she finds a guy like how I was run wanted It's not that funny, but I want to tell. But I wanted to also discuss, you know, the change in the evolution and what made me think about it

and why I was insecure. I was insecure because I thought she would find somebody smarter, somebody more u handsome than me, which would be difficult, but more handsome than me. Uh. And I was really, really at a place where I was like, I can't let her go. If she leaves, she's gonna find somebody else. And it was my own insecurities that almost ruin this relationship, ruining the best thing I've ever had, ruined a relationship with my best friend. We have six kids, and I almost lost all of

that because I was insecure. Wow, it's beautiful, man, thank you for share for real. That's beautiful. Thank you. That's really nice, because he said when we talk about that, gravato taken away from hip hop because people have been sold the idea of perfect relationships. Everyone who thinks they're not in a perfect relationship things that they're failing, when in fact, people who are honest go like, oh, this

is hard, it is hard to do. You talk about infidelity, You talk about the things that you were going through gear. One of the biggest things women will talk about is the embarrassment and shame that comes with being cheated on. They go like, my self worth has almost been publicly decimated. In the book, you share how you found out from a gossip blog that he was having an affair. Now, people lie on everything, but that one was true. When you're sharing that, when women are reading that, many women

would say the same. They go to gift man cheats on me, I'm gone, I'm out, And yet you talk about all of your wives and your house. What did you learn in that moment and what do you think people can learn about infidelity in a marriage. Okay, first of all, Rashaan didn't cheat on me. He cheated on himself.

And a lot of women don't look at the situation that way when they're cheated on, and some men and some men, But it takes a tremendous amount of integrity and self worth to be able to hold yourself to a certain standard when you're in a relationship in and

of itself. Furthermore, when you're in the public eye. Extend that a little bit more when you're an artist, a DJ, and athlete or someone in that profession, because like you stated earlier, it's almost expected that you're living this single life where you're popping bottles and in the clubs and have women around you constantly. But for me, it was very important to write the book because I want women to understand that men cheat and it doesn't necessarily have

to be because of you. It's because of them. So I don't I didn't feel embarrassment. People ask me, how is it so easy for you to talk about He's his own individual, he made a choice. I didn't cheat. There's no embarrassment for me. There's no humiliation for me. I own me, and I have to decide how I'm going to move forward. With my head health high. It's very important for women to understand that when when you when you talk about it in the book. What what I love about this book is it's not a how

to book. I will say that it's a It's a book that seems like a conversation you are having with anyone who's reading the book. It seems like we've met you as a couple. We get to know you as a reader. We see you talk to each other, you talk to us as individuals. Some of your friends on the book as well, getting their perspectives from the outside and from the inside. And and one thing that was really intriguing to me, Gia, is when you talked about

honesty through a different lens. Many people think the only betrayal that can happen in a relationship is one where somebody cheats. That's betrayal. That's the only betrayal. You dropped one of the biggest bombshells in the book and in your relationship when you told your husband you had been faking orgasms for basically a decade. Yeah, that's that's but you you admit that you like this is also a betrayal.

This is a dishonesty. Absolutely, like, so walk me through that as a couple, because because we'll talk about the online aspect later, I want to get I want to get through that because I really enjoyed you talking about it with each other. Here you are, as as a wife going, I lied about this. Here you as a husband going, my whole world is a lie. Correct. Yes.

So we've been together since I was fifteen and he was sixteen, and I lost my virginity, virginity to him on my when when I was sixteen, on our one year anniversary. So I was sixteen, he was seventeen. I was a virgin and he was virgin ish, relatively virgins. He had tried with somebody else that didn't really you know, cross the Finnish line. So virgin is so. Needless to say, we were both very inexperienced. But even during those times, I enjoyed our intimacy. I enjoyed sex, but I didn't

know myself what an orgasm was. I came to figure it out. But when you don't understand yourself, how do you communicate your needs to someone else? And the way that most young women are raised in this country, more than likely around the world, it's as though we're subconsciously taught that women are playthings for men. When you look at billboard, magazines, ads, television, music videos, anything, you see beautiful women, sexy women, sometimes scantily clad, and you believe

that we're here for the pleasure of men. So I prioritized my husband or my boyfriend before he became my husband when it came to the bedroom, and my needs came second. And I never communicated that with him. I thought through love. I thought I was catering to his ego and catering to the outcome that obviously any person wants in that type of situation. And then when I finally told him it was years of frustration. We were

in an argument and I weaponized it. Did she I thought I was man dingo, big daddy, long leg, and then she sits in, I'm not gonna lie. I would watch porn when I was a teen, and porn you just yes, and that's what I think. To get it, and they're in that argument, she was like, you know, I haven't had an orgasm. I'm like, oh really, all right, well how a long last week? She's like, no, ten

years and it looked just like that. That's painful, very yes, yes, And it wasn't that far stretched for me at the time to weaponize something like that because our relationship at the time, we didn't behave as though we were on the same team. If we argued, it was to win. In the book, we referred to it as right fighting. We didn't care about understanding each other, gaining common ground,

fixing the problem. We just wanted to win so that we can kind of shrug our shoulder at the other person at the end and maybe tell our friends or whatever. It was with that um that feeling where you just wanted to demean essentially the person that you're with and you want to hurt them as like they say, hurt people, hurt people. So that's where I was coming from at the time in in the sharing of this, and I

want people to read the books. I won't give all of it away because you break it down, you talk about the ramifications, you talk about how it made you feel, and I love that you also say you don't blame her. You don't go like I cheated because she did. You go like, no, I now felt insecure. I went it really is honest. One of the things I noticed online as as happens is this has become like a It's almost a meme now, you know, people like oh DJ and never let my wife go out and talk like that.

Everyone has this provado, everyone has this privado. My wife would never talk about I do my thing, you know what I mean? Yeah, but but but you had to have known, especially coming from hip hop, you had to have known that people would respond in that way. I would love to know why you decided that the public ridicule was not enough of a factor to consider, you know, versus you sharing a truth that many couples would love to deny publicly. For myself, it was like this, I mean,

and I'm sure you've been through it. I mean, we've been canceled before, You've been laughed at in jokes, and nothing bothers me. The only thing that bothers me is my family and my kids. Outside of that, I feel like we have a big omission and the conversations that we started with that are through the roof. If I showed you my d ms and my wife's DMS of how many wives hit me or hit my wife and

says I'm going through that same problem, thank you. Now I can have the conversation with my husband now I can have the conversation with my boyfriend because I wasn't getting to that level. He didn't know how to please me. And now it's a conversation and that's all we want. Now. That was when we were sixteen and fifteen and we figured it out. We figured out how to be intimate. What makes us this, what makes me that, and our relationship is on a whole another level, so nobody can

really bother me or make me feel anyway. I have my wife and my kids. Nobody else feels, but I make her all gas. And now I just want to put that out there now multiple times I'm not there. Let me let me ask you this before before I let you go, because I could chat you forever about this, honestly, Um,

before you go, I would love to know two things. One, you had to start a new relationship, you know which which is something you get into in the book, is there was the old relationship and there's definitely a new relationship. People are in relationships all over the world. We always find ourselves in relationships that may be bad. And then now the internet is everything is toxic, but you may not know when it's toxic or when it's bad. When it can be repaired, or when it cannot be repaired.

Gear from your side as a woman, what advice would you give to a woman to try and decipher between working on a thing that can be worked on versus staying in something that they shouldn't be. Well, First, you have to figure out how you actually feel about the other person. For me, when I found out I didn't, it didn't matter how I felt. I told him from day one that if he ever cheated on me that I was out, and I meant it. So I was out and a lot of work had to be done

to get me back in. God was a huge part of it. You'd have to read that in the book. But preparations had to be made. There's a part of the book called the New Deal. So when people ask me how with the exception of God, the New Deal explains exactly what steps for Shawn needed to take to deserve my forgiveness, to deserve my understanding, and to and to deserve my grace. And he worked relentlessly to achieve

all of those things. And the key for me was until he was willing to do that work, until I was whole again, until we were whole again, until he was able to fill in the holes that he had put throughout our entire relationship. There was no expiration date because a lot of men will say, listen, I've been apologizing for two months. I've been trying to make it up to you. What do you want from me? Blood? Like, what what else can I do that? That approach is

damaging because is you're the offender. I'm the offender. Now I have to expedite my healing and make you feel good again. No, that's not my job. You broke it. Now you have to fix it. And I wasn't willing to teach him how to do that. He had to figure that out on his own. So all of his efforts, the time invested, the length to which he went to prove to me that he was worthy of the things that he needed to become whole so that we could become whole again. And it worked, and once I decided

to forgive, I didn't look back. Before you move on from that, though, Uh, there's something you said in the book, which is I feel like a slight semantic but but a powerful one because you know now you said he had to fix it. But what you said in the book is really interesting. And that he wasn't supposed to fix you, he had to fix him, and then you

began your journey of fixing you as well. And I feel like there's a there's a difference there in healing, is you know, especially in the book when you talk about that, there's a difference between you saying you have to fix me versus you have to fix you and then I am going to fix me as well. So in that fixing, before I let you go, you become new people, You become more honest. WI You're scary because the parts to honesty is almost the end of the

relationship because you have to start a new one. So in that fixing, what did you have to fix? And then what are the new things you discovered about each other where you went Oh, in this new relationship, I actually love this person more. Um, I think honestly, whole, honest, And I had to learn the definition of love. Right. We all say I love you, you say I love my spouse, I love this person, But do we truly know the definition of love or do we just say it?

And if I love somebody, I don't want to lie to them, I don't want to hurt them. I still get butterflies. When I see them, I'll never cheat on them. And I had to understand what love meant. Sometimes we can say, oh, we love them, but we still do this. And that's not what I wanted. I wanted. I wanted my best friend. And if that's my best friend, she's gonna be honest with me, and I have to be

honest with her. If there's something that that bothers me about her or something that bothers her, we have to be honest. And now we're at a point in our relationship where completely honest. And even though I put a lot of do a whole bunch of bull bullish, you can say bullshit, bullshit, it's on the other side, it's a thousand times better. We are are better friends, we are better parents, we are better lovers, we have a better relationship. We're just better as people. And that's due

to all of bullshit I put it through. Man, it's an amazing book because it's so honest. It's messy, it's imperfect, and I think that's what every relationship is. Thank you so much for joining me on the check. I really appreciate it. All right, people here and these books, real life, real love is available now and be sure to check out their podcast, The Casey Prue. We're gonna take a quick Creakal will be right back after this. Well, I

start for to night. Before we go, I just wanted to remind you that nearly four thousand homes have been destroyed and more than forty people have been displaced by the floods and the mud slides in my home country, South Africa. Now. Gift of the Givers is a South African based disaster relief organization on the ground helping those who have been affected by the flood So if you can help them in their work in any way, then

please donate at the link below until tomorrow. Stay safe out there, and if you're having trouble remembering things in your life, you might have been part of the insurrection. Watch The Daily Show weeknights at eleven tent Central on Comedy Central and stream full episodes anytime on Paramount Plus. This has been a Comedy Central podcast.