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This is the Daily Children.
With your host Jordan Level.
What the Daily Show, Good blude, But we got so much to talk about. Tonight, Kamala makes her final arguments. Trump gives a final BJ and you're nervous about who's going to win the election, don't worry. We're just gonna tell you. So let's get into it. Indecision twenty twenty four. Guys, Tomorrow is the big day at Long Last.
Tilda's Witten's birthday.
She's turning ageless, so congrats to her. Tomorrow is also election day, and look, I'm not in the prediction business, but I still think Joe Biden can pull this off. But meanwhile, Donald Trump and Kamala Harris have both been making their closing arguments.
For Kamala, it's a.
Message of unity, hope, and check out who my friends are.
A Megawatt all star lineup on the trail.
You can see some of the scenes right there on her screen.
Performances from musicians like Mumford and Sons and Bracy Abrams.
She has Glilla out here.
She has Cardi B, who wasn't even going to vote four months.
Ago, making a surprise appearance on Saturday Night Live playing the mirror image of actress Maya Rudolph's version of her. She is leaning on some big names like Katy Perry, Oprah, Lady Gaga, Ricky Martin, The Roots, and others to help get her across the finish line.
Lady gog I, Katy Perry, Ricky Martin, if you stole their album on LimeWire, they're probably endorsing Kamala Harris.
She's coming for every.
Last Soul cycle.
Vote now well.
Kamala is ending the campaign on a note of joy and celebrity hype. Donald Trump's closing argument is that he's pissed at basically everyone.
Do you want to see me knock the hell out of people backstage? You's gotta get a bunch of crooks and horrible people. She's a dumb person. Guys like Adam Shifty Shift. You'll probably be a senator. Can you believe it?
Watermelon Head?
What an ugly guy, both inside and out. It's a very demonic party. Have this piece of glass here, and to get me somebody would have to shoot through the fake news. And I don't mind that so much.
He's just casually joking about reporters getting shot.
You know, I guess.
You'd be grouchy too if you had to do all your campaign events and cast in glass like a stick of deodoran at Walgreens. But Trump wasn't just giving off dark vibes. He was also giving off a weird sexual energy.
I came in today, I said, and you know, this is after four of these things. I've been in old fairness. I mean, I'm a human being, right, I come in and here's the problem. I said, Oh man, it's too low.
I said, it's too long. I way too long, way too low.
What are we doing here?
People?
I hate to say it, but can we please go back to the hand job routine?
Please?
And you know a campaign has gone off the rails when you go to watch c SPAN and it asks if you're over eighteen. But blowing a mic stand isn't even the weirdest parts of his closing message. The weirdest part is that just a few days to go, he's now telling us, oh, by the way, RFK Junior is going to do all the President's stuff.
And I told a great guy RFK Junior, I said, Bobby, you work on women's health. You work on health, you work on what we eat, you work on pesticides, you work on everything. The one thing you have to let me do, Bobby, I gotta work the liquid gold. You're not going to touch that.
You're not gonna touch yet. No, let me work the liquid gold. Bobby, let me work it. Let me work it. Okay, Okay, let me get this straight.
So you're gonna give RFK women's health, regular health, food, pesticides, and quote everything, and in return, you're just gonna suck all the oil out of the ground. This this is a lot of new shit to drop on us the day before election day. You spent two years talking about tariffs, and now you're like, oh, by the way, the guy with brain worms is in charge of everybody's health. You need me, I'll be in Texas working the drills.
You know, you might be thinking Trump.
Is just talking out of his ass, But but RFK Junior doesn't think so, because, unlike getting rid of a bear corpse, he's put a lot of thought into this.
Over the weekend, Kennedy tweeted the Trump administration would quote ad buys all us water systems to remove fluoride from public water on day one. The CDC recommends fluoride in water as a cost effective way to improve oral health.
Trump telling NBC News the fluoride removal idea quote sounds okay to me.
This out okay, okay, this is two days before the election. We haven't talked about this at all in the last seven hundred days. But suddenly the thing that's been normal in this country for eighty years, it's like.
We're gonna get rid of that on day one. I mean, where did this come from?
Even the people who wrote Project twenty twenty five were like, fluoride?
Did we put that in here?
This whole campaign, I've been prepping for the worst case scenario, but not the weirdest case scenario. Now I gotta worry about soft teeth. You know how many Trump rallies I've been to.
Do you know how many?
Do you know how many?
Not once did I ever hear him say people's teeth are too hard.
We're gonna fix that.
Look, look, Trump campaign, this is your last chance to get your message out. Surely there is someone who's staying focused on the important issues and not getting distracted like some idiot dog when it sees a squirrel.
Have you seen the videos of this squirrel?
Hey?
No, no, I haven't seen the videos of the squirrel.
Why is that an issue?
Maga.
Republicans are up in arms after Peanut the Squirrel, a pet squirrel famous on social media, was seized by the New York Department of Environmental Conservation and later euthanized for biting an official.
I know, Don's fired about Peanut the Squirrel. We are on the way down here from Cincinnati. He was like, you know, is it really the case that the Democrats murdered the elon musk of squirrels?
But if someone adopts a baby pet squirrel, hell yeah, no justice for Peanut. Okay again everyone, we are mere hours before election day and Republicans' final messages we must avenged the death of Peanut the squirrel.
Don't get me.
Wrong, I'm glad Republicans finally care about police brutality.
But here we.
Are, with all of my world mourning the death of Penut the squirrel. Well, not RFK Junior. He already has Peanut marinating in his fridge. But so, to sum up, we are an hour from election day, we have a presidential candidate descending even further into madness, a legion of his supporters ready to follow him into battle. The capital is all boarded up and ready for a final showdown.
Our kids teeth are about to fall out. The police are executing squirrels, and tomorrow is the climactic day when we discover whether Earth continues existing and it's muddled mess or we all go screaming into hell. I guess what I'm saying is, don't forget to vote. For More on the Trump campaigns closing messages, we go live to Trump campaign headquarters with political analyst Michael Costa. Michael Michael, it feels like during this final weekend, Trump was totally spirally out of control.
Wrong again, Jordan out of control? Donald Trump is totally spiraling in of control.
All right.
He's not wreck less, he's wreck full. He's not the mayor of crazytown. He's the sheriff of saying, diego you following this?
I'm not following that at all? Or are you saying you say Trump is being rational here? He spent the final weekend on the campaign just ranting about issues that voters don't care.
About, well, issues that most voters don't care about think about it, Dan. Voters who care about normal issues have already voted early. Some of them voted weeks ago at this point there, I voted, stickers are more torn up than my nipples after yesterday's marathon.
You ran the marathon? No, but I like to watch it like this.
The point is there are still people who haven't voted yet, people political science academics to as the freaks. Okay, they're the ones with hyper specific, freaky single issues. Fluoride in the water, civil rights for squirrels, a man's right to give a consenting microphone a blowjob, and Donald Trump is speaking to and or sucking off these issues.
There can't be people who decide a president, who decide who they want to be the president based on those weird issues.
Sure, it's no different than people who vote based on the price of eggs. I mean to me, that's weird. Why eggs? There are a million other foods. There's jello or jello or I can't think of other foods. But you get what I'm saying, Michael.
If this is such a good strategy, why isn't commonly doing it?
She is She's at an event with Katy Perry as we speak, Why to lock down the two or three freaks who like Katy Perry's new album Jello Jello?
Did I say Jello?
You only said Jello?
Good?
Good point is the voters who wait until the very end, by definition, have the most leverage, so they can say whatever they want and get it from the candidates. That's why Jordan to make my vote be the most powerful. I'll be voting after the election.
No, then then your vote won't count. That's stupid.
Non fat jello jello pops, strawberry jello. See, these are all totally different foods.
Now, who's stupid? Okay, very insightful, Michael cost everyone.
We come back, we'll find out who're going to win tomorrow. They'll go away all about the Daily Show.
If you want to know who's going to win the election, polls aren't the only way to predict the future.
Great Coolige Bick has more.
The election is so close and mistakes are so hot.
I feel like I can't think about anything else.
Can someone just tell me what's going to happen so I can chill the fuck out?
Presidential race that dead heat, deadlocked at exactly forty eight percent.
Got Trump up two points, Harris with a three point advantage.
Maybe Trump up a.
Point or two, Harris up five four.
Everything you're about.
To see is within the.
Margin of ara in margin arra, So what do these numbers mean? I could do the a beautiful mind thing, but maybe it's just quicker to talk to an expert. Anthony, who the fuck is going to win this election?
I can tell you that this race is effectively tied, has been for a while in all the polls. There are so few undecided voters who say they may or may not vote, and they'll probably decide this.
Okay, thank you for all of this information.
It's been really helpful.
I'm wondering who is going to.
Win the election.
I can't tell you that.
Do you think that polls are the best way to predict elections?
Well, poles tell you what people are thinking now, and more importantly, they show you why people are thinking it.
But what do we know about people?
They sometimes change their minds?
Right, So this morning, for example, I was at a diner. I know what I want, It's going to be two eggs, scrambled sausage, potatoes. But it was eleven thirty, so I was seriously tempted to get a chicken sees a wrap and that's basically exactly what you do.
Not really, but it does underline the idea that people can make different decisions at different times.
Can you just blink once if it's going to be the person that I want it to be, Okay, that's a.
Really bad sign.
So, despite that being their only job, the polls can't tell us who is going to win. Fortunately, there is someone who has called nine out of ten of the last elections using a system of thirteen questions about the economy and the electorate.
I don't pay attention to the polls. They're snapshots, not predictors. My system, the Thirteen Keys to the White House, examines the fundamental forces that drive presidential elections.
So how did you settle on thirteen keys?
Using pattern recognition every election from eighteen sixty to nineteen eighty?
Why not fourteen?
Could have been any number?
Why not fifteen?
I love all those numbers, but the big messages it's governing, not campaigning that counts that. The elector as a whole, ask whether the administration has done a good enough job for four more years or they.
Want to make a change.
So allan what is your prediction for this election twenty twenty four?
The keys indicate that Kamala Harris will become the first woman president of the US.
Cool.
Alan's track record is solid, but he did make one popsy in two thousand.
People say I got Florida wrong because I was calling Gore, and in fact Bush ultimately won. I say I was correct because Florida way disproportionately rejected ballots cast by African Americans.
So your system works perfectly unless someone is stealing an election. Yes, thank god, that won't happen, right, right, Okay, So is there one other reliable method for predicting the election?
So election results are a perfect thing for astrology to forgit. The position of the planets when you're born influences a person's personality and how their life unfolds.
And Amy has been amazingly accurate in some of her predictions, like naming the exact date that Joe Biden stepped down.
There is a full moon coming up that was in Capricorn at twenty nine degrees, and twenty nine degrees represents an ending and Capricorn represents old age, So I just put together that he was going to drop out.
That's fair.
That makes sense.
Actually, so what are your current predictions for the twenty twenty four election?
I predict Kamala is gonna win the presidector.
So basically with this election, what you're saying is that Kamala's chart just looks more powerful than Donald Trump's.
Yeah.
Donald Trump's chart is giving desire for power and control and Kamala's chart is giving more following her life path than what she's meant to do.
So is it real? Is astrology real?
Yes?
It's very real?
Okay, very real.
The stars had made a clear prediction for the election, but what could they predict about something that really mattered? Like me?
I do see a wealth aspect in your chart.
That's a fabulous news.
And Trump's a Gemini and you have a lot of Gemini energy.
So you would say Trump and I are similar.
Yeah.
Actually, your venus is on his son, so you might would fall in love with him.
My v is on his what?
No, this is a marriage aspect.
Actually changes everything. Are you gonna tell my girlfriend or am I?
But for Trump, it's not outside the realm of possibility that he goes to jail.
So my husband is going to jail. Yeah, but I'll be wealthy.
Yeah, okay, good, you're gonna have the money.
I am loving astrology.
There you have it. But with both the stars and history predicting the future, do we even need to vote?
Ah?
Here's the thing. The keys are based on history, and if people don't vote, you're going to break the.
Pattern of history.
So I have to vote.
You must vote.
I don't care who you vote for, but you must vote.
You're such a leo.
I'm not a lyo metaurus.
Let's cut that part out.
I'll come back and I'm sure if you're joining me on the show, don't go away.
Well in the back of the Daily you have my guest tonight is an author and staff writer at The Atlantic, whose piece in the latest issue is called the right Wing Plan to make Everyone an Informant.
Please welcome, Adam Serwer.
Adam, I'm excited to get you.
You're one of my favorite writers covering this strange moment we are in. And you had a new piece just dropped today? Is that what happens with new pieces?
Do they drop?
Is it like a new song? As a journalist, you say I dropped a new piece today.
Only when we want to sound really cool, I.
Was gonna say, try it.
I just dropped a new piece today.
Good, this is the audience for it. Yes, your new piece.
Trump's followers are living in a dark fantasy.
I just read it.
You talk about going to Trump rallies. I've been to a thousand Trump rallies and you've gone to them over the years. I'm curious what you've noticed recently and how if you've noticed any sort of change.
Yeah, I think you know what's really different about the rallies now? And I think you know, I think it's important to recognize, you know, we're coming out of a difficult economic moment because of high inflation, because of the end of pandemic. But what's happened is there is a sort of universe of unreality that they're living in in which everything bad that is happening in America at this
moment is the fault of immigrants and illegal immigration. And that is primarily because that's what Donald Trump and JD.
Vance are telling them, and so they I have this idea that you know, if Trump comes in, he's going to take all this money that's being spent on these illegal immigrants that you know, Kamala Harris and Joe Biden are bringing in and spending all this money on They're going to take that money and they're going to spend it on them instead, and that's really not what the agenda is.
And so to me, I thought that was interesting.
Do you find is that different than what you noticed in twenty sixteen?
Yeah, I mean, I think the sort of comprehensive universe of unreality that these people are living in is distinct. And I think we saw how dangerous that kind of conspiratorial, conspiratorial universe can be on January sixth in twenty twenty. But if anything, it's only gotten worse. People are in a kind of conspiratorial bubble where they think that they
are being victimized by things that are not happening. And this is not to say that people are not suffering from real economic hardships, but the reasons they are being given on for those things are not the actual reasons.
Now you talk about the three circles of the mind universe here, did you notice it broken down in three kind of types of people who were becoming and are fervent Trump supporters.
Yeah, I mean, I think there's the people who would staff a Trump administration and they have a very specific policy agenda that I think is actually distinct from what a lot of the people who go to these rallies think is going to happen, because when they go to these rallies, you know what Trump says, what his warm up speakers say, is that Harris and Biden are spending all this money on illegal immigrants, and your life is getting harder. But we're going to take all that money
and we're going to spend it on you instead. And that's not really what their plan is. So I think there's a sort of the circle around Trump, his sort of policy advisors, his activists, those types of people. They understand what the actual policy agenda is, which is a very traditional policy agenda of redistributing income upward, of cutting healthcare, of you know, shrinking the welfare state in order to you know, cut taxes for the wealthy.
The ones who benefit primarily from that as well. That's like the Elon Musk live in that that first circle precisely.
And you know there's this other circle, these people who are true believers who show up the Trump rallies and they love Trump and they believe that he is fighting for them and that when he deals with all these people they have been told of their enemies, they're going to have much easier lives. And then there's sort of, you know, the I would people A would describe as a sort of medium Republican voter who you know, they
may not love Trump, but they are conservative. You know, they're they're anti abortion, maybe they own a business, you know, they want to they want lower taxes, they have conservative principles, and they sort of are talking themselves into voting for Trump by dismissing, you know, the things that he has done, by saying, you know Jan six, Okay, fine, you know it was bad, but the media is exaggerating. You know, yeah, he says a lot of colorful things, but you know,
politicians lie all the time. They sort of rationalize, you know, what Trump is, who is he? You know, he is a uniquely dangerous person. You know, I don't think every Republican is like Trump. But they sort of dismissed this because they want to give themselves permission to vote for him anyway. And I think those are the three elements of what I would describe as the Trump coalition. And I think, you know, tomorrow we're going to find out just how big those three circles are now.
You wrote a very influential and thoughtful piece called The Cruelty Is the Point in twenty eighteen sort of articulated this MAGA movement and people finding community around the cruelty that Trump espoused and some of his some of his actions that wasn't a byproduct of conservative values, but sort of the cruelty was what people did rally around. We are we are now years past that. Have we become comfortable with that cruelty? How is that cruelty changed?
I think that, you know, one of the attack lines that the Harris campaign has been using has been saying, oh, well, you know, people lead the Trump rallies early and this sort of drives Trump insane. Now, to be clear, those people who are leaving, you know, those are Trump super fans.
You know.
The way someone else put it to me was like, you know, people with season tickets leave games early too, So you know, these are people who really love Trump.
But tradition, those teams aren't winning very often either.
That's yeah, that's true, Yes, that's true.
But I think that, you know, part of it is just that they're not totally there for him. I mean, he gives What he gives them is permission to act out in ways that other people might judge them for in a space where it's okay to do that, Where in a space where it's okay to be cruel, it's okay to be you know, nasty about the people that
you don't like or that you hate and fear. But I think that, you know, a lot of times people are shown up because they want to be around other people who think like them.
They want to feel less alone.
And I think that's, you know, that part of it is very human, and we're pretty much you know, we're all social animals, We're all like that. I think that, you know, the problem is obviously that it's centered around this man who has authoritarian ambition and authoritarian ambitions and is willing to create this sort of fictional universe in order to manipulate people into doing, you know, justifying terrible things.
I think you talk a little bit in this most recent article about the MSG rally and the comedian who came on and told a joke that belittle Puerto Rico, called Puerto Rico garbage, and there was an uproar around this conversation. But I think what it was speaking to was what the sensibility in that room was who he was appealing to.
And I think as somebody who goes to.
So many of these rallies, so many of these rallies, Uh, there's a there's a trolling sensibility there. The T shirts that you see are as mean as possible. They're belittling Kamala Harris calling her uh uh uh.
Joe.
And the hoe was a big T shirt that they had. Like the idea of being a troll is celebrated there. That's part of the fun. There's there's an ecstasy in the cruel see that happens at these events, all right.
They get to say the things that you know, people might judge them for saying if they said them, you know, at their workplace or you know, among their friends, depending on who their friends are. But in you know, in this space, they get to say it and you know, Trump will encourage it and they laugh at it and
everybody would will have a good time. And so you know, I just think, you know that part of it certainly has not changed, But there is something different about the degree to which people are making decisions on the basis of things that simply are not happening. You know, when you talk about this, this sort of this conspiracy about Harris and Biden flying in undocumented immigrants from other countries in order to sign them up to vote.
I mean, that's just not a thing that's happening.
But they do not have any compunctions about telling people these things, because that kind of that's what justifies, you know, these the sort of conspiratorial world that they've created, justifies you know, some sort of radical action, like say, trying to overturn an American election, because after all, there are these shadowy elites who are trying to destroy, you know, the world as you know it.
Do you know who those elites are, Well, one.
Of them is me.
Obviously, I'm obviously a part of you just shadowy.
Elite, I know it.
You win people over when you say, you drop an article and everybody makes you're cool, and suddenly you have all that power.
And suddenly you know, I'm a member of the illuminati.
You have another article that's in the most recent prededition of the Atlantic that talks about this Republican informant state turning everybody into an informant.
What is that? What is this the snitch state that you're speaking.
To well, I think you know, before Roe v.
Wade was overturned, there was this Texas band that was passed and you know, I live in Texas, I live in San Antonio. Uh and this this band that was passed that was based on the idea that you know, if you uh had a you could file lawsuit in court over someone aiding or a betting an abortion and you could get ten thousand dollars for that. Now, that is a law that sort of incentivizes snitching. It's a snitch law. And what we found is like laws in Texas and in other conservative states.
I mean, you can look at Florida.
They sort of incentivize this informing on people for things that conservatives think should not be acceptable and whether that's you know, in some cases they you know, you talk about school curriculums or not just abortion, but discussing abortion. You know, a law like that is not just about making sure people don't have abortions, but it's about making
sure people don't discuss them. Because you don't want somebody to sue you or sue someone you love on the basis of the fact that you you know, paid for the uber that took them to the airport that they went then got on a plane and went to Colorado to get an abortion because they couldn't get basic health
care in their home state. And you know, especially a couple of years ago, Abbot pat put out this executive order defining gender firming care for children as child abuse, which led to you know, people, you know, it's one of the examples that was given to me was that a girl who was dressing in a gender nonconforming way, somebody you know, reported her, even though she wasn't even actually trans, she was just you know, wearing pants or something.
And this is the kind of you know, this, this is the kind of environment that those laws create where it incentivizes these laws incentivize people to snitch on their friends and neighbors, you know, in the hopes of recreating stigmas that I think, you know, are no longer in
society in the way that they once were. Obviously, it was once very stigmatizing to have had an abortion, It was very you know it we're not that far off from where it was not all right to be out as a gay person in American society, you know, or for example, we we.
Are not two. I mean, it's been four years.
But the racial justice protests that happened in twenty twenty brought out a lot of ideas that some people would rather not discuss and would rather be shoved, you know, back into the dark. And so what you can do is you can't necessarily argue people out of believing those things, but you can pass a law that says, you know, you're not allowed to bring a book by tan Ossikots into the classroom, otherwise you might get fired.
Although, did you see this news about Peanuts the squirrel and finally Republicans are standing up to police brutality. Do you feel like that is that's progress?
You know, I love animals, and I'm very sad about Peanut the squirrel, But I really wish that the people who are very angry about Peanut the squirrel could extend some of that empathy for you know, someone like Tom or Rice who gets killed by the police.
Well, I don't know if you know this tomorrow's election day. What I know has been anxious. Yeah, you got you got to watch the.
News man, I'm not paying attention.
You gotta pay. This's why I think they need to extend it. They need to be running for president for longer than what they've been because important people like you have no idea to happen.
At least two and a half years of election.
Three four.
You know what's bad is like that's sort of what we have now, Like it's pretty awful.
Yeah, I think over Trump has been running for over seven hundred days for president Knights.
I thought you were gonna say years, to be honest.
Meals like that. What do you think's gonna happen tomorrow?
I have no idea and I don't think anybody else knows either. If people are telling you that they know, I think they're not telling you the truth. You have the polling which is pointing towards a very tight race, and you have non polling indicators that are saying maybe there's a little more bit more of an advantage for Harris. But the fact is, you know, people are trying to read tea leaves from the early vote, and that doesn't really work. The truth is we're not going to know
what's going to happen until it happens, and everything. Most of the things that are, you know, most of the things that we're seeing right now point towards a very close race where it could go either way. Even if that map ends up looking very red or very blue, it's it's going to be you know, it's not going to be by a whole lot of votes, if that makes any sense. The Unfortunately, the way the electoral College works is a few votes and a few states can swing the thing one way or the other.
Yeah, so who knows. But if you don't live in seven states, it doesn't matter what you do.
Fortunately not America, Baby.
Check out check out Autam's fates, the November issue of the Atlantic and the cruelty of the points available out Adam, Sure, we'll it take Wick Brek right back after this.
That's no show for tonight.
Don't miss our live one hour Elections Pencil tomorrow hopes to buy John sure all level of that.
Happy election e if to those who celebrate, my goodness, it's election eve.
It's Election day eve.
What a day we finally made it.
This is election eve. Unbelievable that it's one day away.
Happy election Eve, the eve of election Day.
We're wearing purple, which is, if you blend red and blue, you get purple.
Right.
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