Correspondent Spotlight: The Best of Steve Carell

You're listening to Comedy Central.

Yeah, two things in.

This world can rival the excitement of a modern day political campaign. As part of our Indecision two thousand coverage, Steve Carell joined the fun and went on the campaign trail.

It's every reporter's dream to spend a day on the campaign trail with a front running candidate, and that's exactly the opportunity we were afforded this day in New Hampshire on John McCain's Straight Talk Express. However, Dan Rather and the Six Minutes crew were already on board, so we had to go on the overflow bus.

Great, this is straight.

The overflow bus repository for outcasts, misfits and journalistic bottom feeders. But they've got an omelet bar or something up there. You think, Rather he's up there talking policy with them. Let's know they're up there playing pinball, singing karaoke. Rather, it doesn't have to be on the overflow bush.

I see minute.

Do you be lucky if you even see him today?

Don't throw it back, you just ate half fit threw it back.

You know.

We were asked to come like, oh yeah, well you're that bus.

Shut that take it up your ass. The situation was intolerable. Something had to be done.

Exactly what am I looking at?

Here?

Bus assignments for the fifty some members of the media.

Well, let's cut to the chase.

Where are we forty nine and fifty?

What are the circles?

Mean?

Circles?

I mean you're on the bus so as you can see, no circle, no bus.

Why aren't tricking me around like this? All I want to do is sit on the nice bus.

I'm screw it.

I thanks so.

Covering the story at arm's length was getting me nowhere. And then it hit me the best way to get to a presidential candidate's bus is through his wife.

This is your driver. Here, driver the beginning.

Now, this is a well appointed driver.

He's wonderful.

I'd like you to take a look.

At the driver.

We have.

Great Thanks very much, Ron, you see what I mean? Okay, now step aboard. Here we go into our secondary bus. Take a whiff, yeah, take a whiff of that one whiff of the overflow bus. And missus McCain was on my side.

Really, come on, let's go.

Really, not only was I finally on the bus, but I was going to get the chance to talk to Senator John McCain.

Look, let me say you are welcome on our bus at anytime.

Let's do a lightning round.

Okay, your favorite book from whom the Baltolls favorite movie, vivis a Potter, Charlon Heston, Marlon Branda.

Close enough.

If I were Tree, I would be a If I were Tree, I would be a route. What does that mean, Senator? How do you reconcile the fact that you were one of the most vocal critics of pork Beryl politics, and yet while you were chairman of the Commerce Committee, that committee set a record for unauthorized appropriations.

I just kitty, No, I don't.

I don't even know what that means.

Oh they all laughed at my little question. But two things were abundantly clear. Okay, all right, okay, forgot it was the wrong question to ask, and I was going to.

Be walking Steve perellers, m.

Steve, that was that was That was an interesting piece, Thank you, mister. It seemed like you had one shot to really ask a good, solid political question and and you froze up.

You backed off.

Yeah.

Well, I was trying to explore the sites, the sounds, the smells of a political campaign.

You were up there to get an interview with McCain.

And well, now, missus McCain was a great.

Missus McCain is not the story.

Uh did you see her?

Yeah?

Yeah, she is intelligent, beautiful.

Yes, I wonderful. I understand.

But it seems like you froze up with McCain. Yeah, you had him right there, and and.

Well, I I was just.

I was trying to.

Should we take you off the political beat?

Is it?

Is it too much for you.

To Steve Carrell, Ladies and gentlemen coming up four minutes?

No, no, you're not. You're not talking. You're not tossing a commercial. Look at me, Look Steven, look, look sip. What do we say?

Bad report and do better?

Steve Carell, here's a caramel, good.

Boy, Steve Carrell. Lady, we kinda been working right back every this.

There's those of you who read the tabloids. Undoubtedly no Daily Show correspondent. Steve Carell has waged a very public battle with his weight. We've been lucky enough that he's allowed us a window, a window, window, a window into that process. Please welcome our own Steve Carell, Steve.

John the last time on Slimming Down with Steve, I chose a personal trainer. But as you know, exercise alone just won't cut it. Today, we're going to focus on nutrition. Join me as I visit a top New York City nutritionist. My name is Stevens.

County.

Down with me. Before a nutritionist like Mariam Papo can offer advice, she has to learn about the eating habits of her patient.

Just tell me if you've eaten these in the last week, okay, geez yes.

Fried chicken yes, other fried foods yes, hot.

Dogs yes, salami yes, snack chips yes, bacon yes, sausage.

Yes, sweet roll?

What's sweet roll?

Like a Danish? Yes?

What type of.

Milk do you drink buttermilk?

What type of oil do you use? Wd?

Forty usually peanut oil. When you have chicken, is it with the skin or without the skin? Just the skin?

What am I doing wrong?

It didn't take long for Miriam to observe that I needed more vegetables in my diet, so she offered to make me a healthy meal.

Look how beautifully green these.

Are green things. The super market was gonna be a lot of fun.

This is beef tongue.

If you were to eat this, wouldn't your food essentially be tasting you. We did have fun. But now it was off to.

The kitchen to make pasta prima vera, which in Italian means no meat.

For Steve, that looks good.

Yeah.

What makes pasta prima vera such a healthy dish.

Because it's usually using all fresh vegetables.

Bam, right like that, chef. Finally it was time to indulge.

Let's dig in.

Let's say grace first. Ah, good games all around, horse and from heaven, noble, same old Lord, th old Lord.

For all ease.

Lord.

I really want to thank you, Lord.

I wanna thank you Lord.

Oh, thank you Lord. Oh bod.

Mm hmmm.

I'm all right, Steve Carral, ladies and gentlemen.

Bye.

First of all, thank you for allowing us to go on this emotional journey with you. Now, how is the new diet going for you?

Well, it's been tough, John, because I've had to find ways to incorpor rate vegetables into my nutritional regime.

I think you mean regimen, not regime.

John.

You do what you need to lose weight. I'll do what I need to do.

Okay, Now take a look at this. You'll notice it says all vegetable right a couple of scoops of this, I get all the vegetables I need.

I actually think it's it's it's it's shortening, vegetable shortening, So it doesn't.

It serves up just like ice cream.

M so uh, it's really not bad.

Vegetables can be fun. Let me ask you, uh, how much weight have you lost?

No?

Exactly, it's funny.

Use for dashpack.

That's why I'm laughing, because I.

Haven't lost anyway, but I am even better. Our next tell story should be of particular interest to our.

Teen viewers.

Who suffer from crippling glaucoma. For centuries, marijuana has been used as a self prescribed remedy for the terminal disease known as being alive. But last week, the Supreme Court heard arguments as to whether state initiatives permitting the drug to be used medicinally violate federal law. It's a case that figures to settle one and for all the legality of medical marijuana and thereby affect the lives of no fewer than point zero zero zero one percent of American

Get high, and when you get high, you feel better.

Robert McGinnis.

Speaking out strongly and poorly against marijuana. Medical marijuana, which is a miracle. Now the upcoming Supreme Court debate could even be a hotter button issue than Americans not sleeping enough. That's why it's the subject of tonight's even Stephen, you've just made me.

Vomit in my own mouth. What's the weather like up your own acts?

Tonight's topic. Should medical marijuana I'll be legalized?

Yes? No? Yeah.

The medical marijuana initiatives in California and New Mexico were approved by the voters solely to help seriously ill patients, for whom marijuana offers the only relief from pain. Who could deny an eighty year old woman a moment of respite from her tortured existence. But I suppose there are a few sick individuals.

Out there who get off.

Aren't other people suffering?

Stephen far out, Steve groovy point man, you're blowing my mind. Face it, You and your doctor dopes are just hiding behind Grandma's oxygen tent. The real reason you're pushing pro pot legislation is so you can suck on a tie stick and watch the walls being into pulse and bread. And now that you've duped a few misguided state legislators, I'm sure we can all look forward to you coming down with the convenient case of glaucoma real soon. This

Stephen?

Just because I support medical marijuana.

It's ludicrous to imply that I'm a dope fiend. That's like saying because I support the repeal of the marriage tax penalty that I'm.

Into wife swapping.

Don't change the subject, Steve. You know exactly where I can get my hands on some really deep chronic don't you. Let's get back to my wife swapping metaphor.

Fine, let's what.

You're suggesting about my access to sweet Malaysian skunk weed is just.

As ridiculous as if I.

Said, Hey, Stephen Colbert, why don't you and your wife come over some night this week and we can exchange partners. Would that idea appeal to you?

I don't know, Steve. Would we be high?

I don't know.

Would you bring the dope?

Steve?

You're not listening to my argument. My argument is that if, for instance, I tried to buy pot, I couldn't get any, but I think you could get me some. You're not listening, Steven. You're in a fantasy world where I smoke pot and could get my hands on some very kind butt. But we would be wife swapping this Friday. Have I made myself clear?

Claire is Crystal Steve.

But let me see if I can just recap your really twisted argument. You're saying that if we were to enter into some bizarre love quadrangle, you'd be supplying the weed. Yes, okay, that sounds perfect.

Great.

I'm Stephen Colbert and I'm Steve Carell and this has been even steep.

Should we bring anything?

Yeah, bottle wine would be nice.

Two ABC reporters and a six person TV crew from the National Broadcasting Company voluntary left Bagdad on Monday. Well, our guy, Steve Carell is still in Baghdad.

That's right, footfall.

Those are wondering where he's been. That's where he's been, and.

He's been there for some time and he's with us now.

Steve, welcome, I used to see you, my fragment.

Good evening, John, behind me Baghdad. Iraq is a nation waiting for an attack many believe is imminent. Will it come from Kuwait?

Will Turkey respect the sovereignty of the Kurdish borders? These are the stories I will be covering as the countdown continues.

Well, Steve, I just want to thank you, but say be a careful word here is that the attack will actually come in the form.

Of a full blown assault on.

The city of Bagdad itself, a massive, overwhelming strike that will instantly cripple the Iraqi infrastructure.

Really, I did not know that, Well.

Steve, I'm sorry you didn't know that.

As a matter of fact, many of your colleagues have already fled the city and the country in anticipation of an immediate attack. Some believe it could be a matter of hours.

It would have been nice for one of my colleagues to fill me in about that, or left a message on my voicemail, perhaps.

Nick Robertson.

Well, Steve, please, while you're still there, tell us Bush is still offering the option of exile for Saddam. Now, is that a possibility or is that I'm going to hold firm on this.

Well John, The possibility of Saddam accepting exile seems unlikely, given his defiance and continued hopes that the Arab world will unite behind him.

Steve, I've got to ask you this, While the US is engaging in conflict with Iraq, that might be a foregone conclusion. What about the long term damage to some of our key European relationships.

Well, John, it's hard to tell what the damage will be to our longtime alliances. But from my vantage point tonight, Europe is mostly dark with large lid up patches that look almost like a computer circuit board or a grid of some sort like the movie Trony On a second, are you kidding me? Okay? Now, I asked for peppercorn ranch and this has been at GRTT And if did is a sourdough role that I am Walter Cronkite, Thank you, John.

Well that's an interesting point, Steve.

But I've got to say that maybe there's even a sense of that same sentiment within the United States itself.

Well, absolutely, John. The man I just spoke to in the front seat seemed very down on the United States and also seemed unwilling to take me to tenth Avenue even though I told him eighth was being worked on. There are no easy answers.

Well, Steve, we appreciate it.

These are incredibly difficult times. We can only hope that every effort is made by all sides to spare innocent life, and that the men and women in our armed forces return home safely and quickly. And that's I guess the prayer that's coming from this country tonight, and maybe ultimately.

You can go along.

Oh my goodness, Well, thank you for John these I just wanted to say, these are trying times.

Well.

Steve Caroll, welcome back to you.

Thanks, it's really great to be back.

I've got to ask you a quick question, Steve, did you stop someplace else before coming here?

No?

Does mcsorley's count.

Mcsorley's does count.

Yes, and yes, yes I did.

All right, Steve Carrell, Welcome home, Steve.

Explore more shows from the Daily Show podcast universe by searching The Daily Show wherever you get your podcasts. Watch The Daily Show week nights at eleven ten Central on Comedy Central, and stream full episodes anytime on Fairmount Plus. This has been a Comedy Central podcast