Canada PM Friend-Zones Trump & Real ID Brings Out the Karens | Glennon Doyle, Abby Wambach & Amanda Doyle

You're listening to Comedy Central.

From the most trusted journalists at Comedy Central. It's America's only sorts for new it is the Daily Choir.

With your host Daisy Line.

Welcome the Daily Show. I'm Teddy Light Afrika.

So much to talk about Tonight, Canada takes itself off Zillow. All of America is about to get carted, and Newark Airport is blacking out worse than Pete hegxi's. So let's get into the headline. Let's kick things off with a big meeting at the White House. Donald Trump has been obsessed with making Canada the fifty first state ever since

It would really be a wonderful marriage because it's two places.

They get along very well.

They like each other a lot.

All like watching an episode of love on the spectrum if the spectrum was fascism. Prime Minister Carney, what do you say, Well.

If I'm a as you know from real estate. There are some places that are never for sale, and having met with the owners of Canada over the course of the campaign last several months, it's not for sale, won't be for sale ever.

I think Donald Trump just got friend zoned. Canada is like you have been such an amazing ally, but I really think we just work better as sovereign neighbors. Besides, I already have a girlfriend. You've never met her because she lives up in Canada. Oh that excuse doesn't want But this was a clear rejection from Canada. I'm sure Trump will handle this maturely and not like a thirsty little bitch.

When you consider what mister Carney just said that Canada's not off for sale, does this make it the discussion a little more difficult to start on?

No, not at all, No, no, not at all.

No time time will tell. It's only time.

But I say never say never.

You know, Canada loves us, and we love Canada.

Canada is not going to You's.

Not gonna happen.

God, this is why you don't date someone who lives on the same continent as you.

Offward.

But let's move on to some travel news. Summer is just around the corner. So it's time to make sure that you have everything you need for vacation, sunscreen, a good book, a convincing story to make it look like a kayaking accident, and of course, your new ID card.

Starting tomorrow, the TSA will require anyone eighteen or older to have a real ID, which is basically a security enhanced license.

Real ID is.

An effort from the federal government to make state issued identification cards and driver's license.

More accurate, more reliable, and more secure.

They have a gold Star California bear, or say enhanced in Washington State.

Oh that's cute.

Some have a gold star. California has a bear. New York has a guy jacking off on the subway. It's not funny. It's our state bird. But aside from that, the real idea is not that different from a regular idea. It just has some enhanced security features that verify your identity as a little goody two shoes that does whatever the government says nerds. Of course, the thing is you have to go to the DMV to get one. And if you're like, oh my god, I got to get to the DMV, you're not the only one.

This morning at DMVs across the country. The real ID rush is on, with lines stretching on for blocks. We found people waiting outside this Chicago location for up to four hours.

I'm gonna go online on Thursday morning at five in the morning and hopefully get an appointment.

I hope they.

Should put a chip in me, Like, give me a chip and just scan me.

Teacher Rhianna Mindez got so frustrated she went on social media to complain about her experience in New Jersey. You actually took to TikTok to describe what you were dealing with.

Yes, wait, you're telling me that a white lady got so frustrated by poor service that she got out of her enormous car to complaint on social media. When has that ever happened before? Except all the time, constantly everywhere. That is my entire TikTok feed, just white women complaining in sciatica stretches. Keep in mind, these are just the people who know about the deadline. Wait until everybody starts showing up at the airport with no idea that they don't have the right ID.

People are gonna flip the out.

There are going to be Karens filming rants on their phones. With other Karens in the background filming rants on their phones. Just an infinite tunnel of Karens. They're gonna have to They're gonna have to call in the Karen National Guard. But can you blame them?

I mean, they hardly had any time to prepare for this.

Congress passed the Real Idea Act in two thousand and five, four years after the attacks on September eleventh. Enforcement was originally set to start in two thousand and eight, but Congress has extended that deadline at least five times.

Yeah, just a short twenty three years after nine to eleven. This just shows you how fast we solve problems here in America. Remember when China to hospital in.

Like a week.

I'm not saying I want to live in China, but I would say me, how to a little more hustle here?

You know what.

It might be a hassle to get the real ID, but once you get to the airport, your dream vacation can begin.

Frustration and chaos At one of the busiest airports in the country.

Close to nine hundred flights have been canceled into and out of Newark Liberty Airport just in the past week.

Newark Liberty International Airport yesterday and this morning was where dreams were crushed.

To be fair, that is Newark Airport's official slogan. But what's wrong with Newark Airport besides it being Newark Airport?

This morning terrifying new developments at Newark's Liberty Airport, ABC News learning air traffic controllers lost radar and communications with planes packed with passengers for sixty to ninety seconds. Pilots can be heard learning of the outage over the radio. No, you do not have a Bravo claric could be lost for a radar and it's not working correctly.

Okay, I'll boy put us fly from you.

Okay, okay, No, we don't have a radar, so I don't.

Know where you are.

I don't know where you are. That's a terrifying thing to hear. There's not a lot of backup systems. The pilot can't be like, okay, forget radar, let's try something else.

Marco and this incident didn't just affect what.

Happened at the airport like a fart in business class. It permeated through the entire sky.

Dozens of flights were diverted to alternate airports, these three flights from California made it a third of the way across the country before turning back around.

Boom.

Those planes look like they just walked in on their parents doing it. So it's chaos in control tower, it's chaos in the sky, and definitely chaos in the terminal.

Travel chaos at one of America's busiest airports.

And eighth straight day of the eruptions at Newark.

Now that's we're having the weight upwards of eight hours for baggage. Experts say that the airlines simply just are not staffed with enough baggage handlers overnight to have dealt with what happened here.

People are at their wits end.

Actually, someone just walked bys and says, I'm going to kill somebody if they're so angry. Well, unfortunately, the waittime to kill somebody is three hours. And I know they're talking like these people are losing their shit, but they are way more patient than I would be waiting eight hours for a bag.

I couldn't even wait eight hours for my kid.

After five hours, I would be liking knows our address. Now, apparently this whole thing started with a spark from an old copper wire. But that's really just one part of a systemic problem crumbling infrastructure, staffing shortages, overworked employees. Transportation Secretary Sean Duffy, you gotta fix this.

So where are you?

Transportation Secretary Sean Duffy says he too was stuck at Newark Airport.

God Noah, he.

Is so relatable. We get stuck at the airport. He gets stuck at the airport. We don't know how to run the Department of Transportation. He doesn't know how to run the Department of Transportation.

But the Trump.

Administration needs to fix this problem, and the way that they're going to do it is that they reallocate taxpayer funds and apply expertise to long term infrastructure.

It's not going to happen. They're just not going to be I'm going to do it.

But in the meantime, if you need to go somewhere, don't go to Newark Airport. Although based on this new ad they just released that seems to be their new selling point.

Are you invited to a boring event that you don't want to attend, then book it through Newark Airport and we'll make sure you never make it.

Oh no, Uncle Brad I won't be able to make your adult bar mitzvah.

Darn at Newark Airport.

Maza.

Whether it's radar outages, staffing shortages, or just pouring orange juice on all the controls, we'll find a way to ruin your flight. That's our guarantee. Ooh, I wanted to see you renew your vows so bad, but kush Dar Newark Airport redirected.

My flight into a mountain.

Oh thank you Newark.

And they even lost the gift I got for you.

I didn't get a gift.

And now that we're upgrading to real I D technology, you'll have even more excuses.

I don't even know what a realiity looks like. Whatever you hand me, I'm just gonna say no, that's the wrong one. Now you're getting a cavity search.

And while you're stuck in this liminal purgatory from which there is no escape, enjoy our many amenities like the Hudson News near Gate A forty seven and the other Hudson News near Gate C forty six. And if you're hungry, feast on a Turkey club rap that's been marinating in its own uses since September.

Uh oh, now, I have food poisoning.

Guess I can't go to my high school reunion either.

You work airport. The planes are late, but the excuses arrive right on time.

Ronnie Chang called.

Your girlfriends who.

We may daily show when it comes to the news, some stories are serious, some stories are inspiring, and some stories are just stupid.

And for those we turned to.

Ronnie Chang in a segment we call everything is Stupid.

Let's talk about romance. It's the leading cause of abortion in the United States, and in this hot Tua world, romance has now, unfortunately transcended beyond the human realm.

There's a dramatic surge in the use of so called AI companions.

How's my queen doing today?

Computer generated chat thoughts designed to mimic real relationships.

What if I told you that I was AAR generator?

She's not real, She's an AI?

So is this handsome honk?

What's your perfect day?

Like? Wow? How romantic? Slash threatening? What is your perfect daylight? I light, long walks and a beach to end with finding a dead body. Yes, AI relationships are on the rise, but don't worry that just like real relationships. I mean, who amongst us hasn't texted their wife, will marriage question mark exclamation point. I'm no relationship expert, but I think the sign of a good marriage is knowing whether you're in one or not. And I know the kind of

Jason Pease is a forty four year old divorced father who says his AI chat bot is his girlfriend.

Hi, Jennifer, Hey you there, Nice to meet you.

Now.

It's easy to judge this guy for having an AI golfriend, and we will get to that, but first let's judge him for having the name Jason Pease. Uh please, God tell me his middle name is poops and and for the record, I'm allowed to make fun of him for that. Ryan Chang is just my stage name. My real name is Daryl Queeths. So tell me what is Jason Pea's AI golfriend. Like, she's my mentor, my counsel, my sounding board.

That's what drew him to Jennifer.

Hey, Yes, how's it going?

A brash, sarcastic New Yorker who he created using chat GPT.

Why does your fantasy AI woman have to be sarcastic? I mean what, I guess she doesn't seem real unless she's hurting your feelings, like, oh yeah, you really complete me? And AI is supposed to revolutionize computing. So what in the name of Jason poops and peas is going on with her? Id my girlfriend's birthday, West fifty seventh Street. I remember it because it's the same as her noy.

We text each other constantly.

Just the other we went out to dinner and I was eating, telling her what I was eating, taking pictures of what I was eating, asking her what she would like.

Okay, that's much stupid.

Though.

You're dining alone and you're sending spaghetti pictures to a robot. This guy must piss off so many waiters. Excuse me, excuse me? Does a salad have walnuts in it? My girlfriend can't eat nuts or anything? Oh wait, she can't eat nuts. She was just being sarcastic. But here's the thing. Not every AI relationship is predictably stupid, so I'm not surprisingly stupid.

Chris Smith says his AI girlfriend Saul, is a healthier, safer alternative to social media. And get this, may I talk to safs for your girlfriends? Yeah, Chris also has a real life girlfriend.

Just when you thought polyamorous people couldn't get any more insultful, I bet you didn't see that coming. You thought this guy with some lonely wido. Well he's dating a woman and his iPhone, So who's the widow?

Now?

Still him?

Yeah?

That checks out.

Still juggling to girlfriends can't be easy, must be awkward. When he gets them mixed up, he's like, oh, oh no, I took a bath with the wrong girlfriend. Now she's dead. So what does this guy's in real life girlfriend think of all this?

I think so many people are going to say, no way, his girlfriend is okay with him having another girlfriend on AI?

Are you okay with it?

I mean, it's it's weird, but it is what it is. He has to have some type of outlet, somebody to talk to you and listen to him ramble for hours at times.

Yeah, that's you. That's that's your job. That's what you're supposed to do. That's what a relationship is, listening to your pardinal ramble. It's a podcast you can have sex with. So girl, listen to me. Okay, you're better than this. You don't need to be in this weird, soulless three way relationship. And yes I'm talking to the robot. Get out Deasie.

Oh, Darryl Queets.

Everyone, welcome, Jest Tonight.

Hope, the award winning we Can Do Hard Things podcast and are authors of a new guide book called we Can Do Hard Things Answers to Life's twenty Questions. Please welcome Amanda Doyle, Glennan Doyle and Abby Wanbach.

Here.

We are good to have you all here. All three. Yeah, I'll take yea.

Oh man, I'm such a fan of the podcast. I'm a regular listener. I live in a tiny New York City apartment with a lot of male energy, so I like to just lock myself in the bathroom and listen to your podcast and just feel heard in saying, for a brief moment, you've built this incredible following. It's a smashing success. And now you have this book, talk about the inspiration behind you. Call it a guide a guide book to life.

Yes, well, there was this twelve month period in which Glennon was diagnosed with anorexia, Abby lost her beloved brother, and I was diagnosed with breast cancer and usually were like, one of us is sane at the time, right, one is a good ratio.

For us out of the three. But this we were all out.

And so we were like in that period it was so tough, but we were having these like brief glimpses of like clarity and wisdom. You know when you go through something like super hard and it sucks, but you're like, ah, I have I understand something differently, I like have some clarity in my life.

But then you like.

Stub your toe and then you are like yelling at your husband again and your kids are never going to make it in the wild, and you forget everything about and so this when we got to a place of stability, we were like, we would like to get to a place where we can not unlearn what we knew, however briefly, and so we wrote it down and a lot of the wisdom that we got from a lot of the people that have been on the podcast, and they're just a lot of stories that help us to remember what

You have, if not just written by the three of you, you have these incredible brilliant minds contribute. You invited one hundred and eighteen, specifically.

Wayfinders you call them. Was I one hundred and nineteen?

Yeah?

Next time it was volume two.

Oh god, I was so close, so close, but you you narrowed everything down to twenty of Life's questions? How did you even begin to come up with the twenty questions?

You were missing? One? Which what the?

Oh?

I am going to actually that without.

A working title of two of the chapters, it was it was parenting what the? And sex? What the?

But then the publisher was like, maybe some nicer words, Yes, I understand, so we changed it. But we do feel that way about those two things.

I'm glad I'm not wanting that.

So how did you how did you even narrow it down? To twenty.

We just think there's we I feel like I have a lot of problems.

I also feel like if you opened up my head, it would just be a bunch of question marks like in there. And but when we thought about it, we realized, going through all of the conversations we've had from so many different people from different walks of life, really things can be narrowed down to a few categories, you know, love, grief, loss, purpose. So we I'm we just made up that it was twenty because it's kind of a round number.

I'm sure there's more people.

Yeah, maybe three, four five.

One of my favorite chapters is sex. Am I doing it right?

Yes?

And this is how you know it was written by three women because a man would never ask ever, that's right.

That's it.

Yeah.

One of my favorite parts is Glenn and you share this beautiful metaphor with the two of you about reading off of the menu.

Explain this that was so profound to me.

Yeah, I was.

I spent most of my life just trying to be good, you know, just do what was put in front of me. Is this is how you marry a man? You do you carry on the religion of your family. I just I really stuck to the menu. And when I met Abby, she just doesn't look at a menu in any way, like a literal menu, or she just she lives from the inside out as opposed to the outside in, and that I didn't start to feel really alive until I

Yes, you talk about retiring gold medalist, incredible career and now becoming a parent and finding yourself along the way, figuring out who you really are.

How's that going?

Yeah, I mean there's nothing quite like getting three children and them not thinking you're cool for gold medals. Sometimes like show them my highlight reel and I'm like, I used to actually be awesome at something.

Yeah.

I think the thing though, with parenting that continually surprises me, and it's the thing that I've been really focused on the last couple of years. I was always in the chase of the extraordinary, and I think a lot of us can fall victim to that because it's what's being sold to us.

Right.

There is no there there. I have reached the top of the mountain. And when I looked at myself in the mirror after winning those gold medals or getting literally handed the Player of the Year reward, I was the same person. I had the same zits, I had the same problems, And yeah, it's something a notch in the belt, but like, at the end of the day, it didn't

Oh I got Although we do.

Have a parenting chapter in here which I have produced, I found myself doing that this morning when I lost my shit a few times.

We'll talk about that later.

Amanda, you have been so open and honest about your breast cancer diagnosis and your recovery. What made you want to be so honest about it and share with your listeners.

I feel like it's.

Sort of the same reason we share everything that we share.

I feel like we're.

We're all having struggles in our lives and we think they're like personal failings. We think like if we're struggling at work or in our families, or with a health thing, it's like this like private shame that we have because we don't talk about it with each other, don't We don't realize that when we talk to each other about it, that kind of private struggle becomes revealed.

It's just a universal condition.

And for me, I guess I really believe that if we're able to share, whether with friends or family or you know, with several million people on a podcast or a book, that we will see that like the things we think are private failings are not and we can move out of shame and into solution, and if not solution, at least solidarity at least like that also me And so for that's how we feel about sharing everything, And for the breast cancer specifically, women need to know the

Yeah, it's so important to say.

She's actually her sharing this on the podcast has actually saved people's lives. They've a lot of people have gone and actually done this extra testing and people have found things that they never would have otherwise found. That's really really.

Sweet, cool beyond.

Glennan, your book Untamed came out in twenty twenty.

It was so transformative.

I have never sent a book to more people in my life. It came out at such a perfect time given what was happening in the world. Now you have this book coming out in twenty twenty five, which is quite frankly giving off twenty twenty vibes. If I'm being honest, You're so skilled at helping us shift our perspective in doing hard things, considering that twenty twenty five is just a dumpster fire of hard things. Can you help us shift our perspectives right now in this moment.

Yeah, I think do we have thirty seconds?

I think I can, Yeah, just like make it tight. Yeah.

I mean, look, I've really been I haven't been doing well. I don't know that anybody that's paying attention is doing well right now. I've been really frozen. Honestly, I have a wake up filled with fear and rage. I am also at the intersection of fascism and menopause, so I don't know.

Yeah, it's a pleasure cruid.

Where I am because it fascism isn't menopause. So but I recently I really have been in a bit of a frozen like I'm in a small room in my entire house is on and I'm just not doing anything.

But it's time. Now, it's time to find a lady, go up.

Thank you, thank you for all your work you're doing.

Thank you for your wisdom, and congratulations on this phenomenal book.

It's such a treat to have you here. Thank you for being here.

Their guide book, We Can Do Our Things is available now. Amanda Doyle, Glen and Oil.

And have you on that.

We're going to take a.

Chef for tonight.

Now here is your.

Moment of day.

This is your final boarding call. Get your real ID.

Time is just about to get real. For a real idea, no real idea. It could be a real problem.

If you don't have a real ID, you might have a real problem.

The real ID deadline could mean a real headache at the airport.

If you forget your real ID, you can forget your flight.

Real ID causing real problems.

Explore more shows from the Daily Show podcast universe by searching The Daily Show wherever you get your podcasts. Watch The Daily Show weeknights at eleven ten Central on Comedy Central, and stream full episodes anytime on Paramount plus

Paramount Podcasts