You're listening to Comedy Central. Everybody. This is Mark Pone, longtime editor The Daily Show, once again back with a former Daily Show correspondent. I was I should say one of your favorites, one of my favorites and senior Latino correspondent. That's right, Comedian, actor, entrepreneur, Yes, renaissance man, yes, O madical.
How how are you when you say long time? Exactly how long have you been here? Because I know you keeping I started season two, that's insane and this.
Is seven seven ninety seven. That's my first credit.
Because for a while, I think you would call as a joke all jokes. We called John the new guy, and he had been here for like sixteen years, and we became I mean as you do in the field department, which is where I did a lot of work when I was here, because I was here from the years of twenty eleven. I believe I started full time at the beginning of twenty twelve. Shared an office with Jessica Williams, who was just crushing in him. So happy for her. It's kind of cool to see everybody go on and
do things. But I was here from twenty twelve to two thousand end of two thousand and thirteen full time, and then another like half year or half year like on and off part time until John left. And then I dribbled and dribbled a little bit into Trevor.
Ye just dribbling.
So how did you get the gig? I don't remember.
I got the gig because, and this is a be nice to everyone you meet thing. I got the gig because a guy hit me up to do a guest set on a show in Miami at the Coconut Grove Improv, which was an insane comedy club go around the country from two thousand and five, two thousand and four two till two thousand and ten.
Would that's how I made a living.
Primarily I was acting in some TV shows, but I would do stand up on the road and people hit you up for guest sets. The guy that hit me up was Adam Lowett, a comedian from Florida who's going to be there at the time, who was also a producer at The Daily Show. He went on to be an executive producer, has done many incredible things. It will be in la with two wonderful children and his wife and we're still closed and stay in touch. But he
hit me up for a guest set. Then he hit me up for when I was in New York for another guest set. Then he hit me up for another guest set. So this is like guest sets over years. And then finally when we're at Caroline's in New York, he said, you know, I think it was my act was sort of skewing this way, and he goes, you'd make a great Latino correspondent. He goes, I know just how to pitch it. So we waited for a dark week, which the show has weeks on week's off. It's very
difficult to do a daily show like they do. It's sort of you know, it's amazing that John did it as long as he did, and we're going to do it the Thursday of a dark week when he's.
In so working dark week, Yeah.
A working dark week.
So we have Hallie Haglin, who is a Newish writer at the time. She's gone on to be ep of things and roast to the ranks here and some very very funny So Halle Lowett and I we write this piece on Debbie Riddle, who's a congresswoman from Texas who wanted and it's amazing how This is in twoenty eleven
and nothing has changed. She wanted to establish a group of non US citizens, like a second class of citizen that could work as home care workers, so nannies, gardeners, chefs, and you know anyone else that you'd want some sort of Latino taking care of your things, so that they could work without employment laws, right, so you wouldn't have to pay the minimum wages or anything like that. And then this was in Texas, so we did that piece that got changed, so we rewrote it and I auditioned
and it went well. John took me over here where I was sort of waiting in one of these little side guest rooms and said congratulations, and get ready for a lifestyle of women and drugs.
So I'll never forget.
That, you know, John Oliver, He always just to give you a great impression of people at Daily Show convention, mister Oliver. The piece that you did on Australian gun reform, that's no women, no drugs. And so I came in full time. I had a nine year old and six year old. I think when I got the gig.
It's crazy, and you were and they're in Los Angeles.
And they're in Los Angeles, so we're not moving. Then I flew back and forth. My nine year old or whatever he is at the time, said, I said.
We got a great job. And I got a great job.
And it's going to be a good money for the family, a good opportunity. I said opportunity, and he didn't get it. And then I said, good money, it can lead to other things. It's a great job. And I said, we might need to move to New York. And he just got into a new school and made friends, and he was at that age where friendships really started to for him, and he really did look at me and he goes,
what if you went? And we stayed here. And that's what happened for two and a half years, is I flew back and forth and back and forth, and then I'd go do field pieces. In twenty twelve, I think I tied a record for John Oliver field pieces, and mine was in a non like I guess I because that was a convention year, but I tied a record for field pieces. I was out on the road constantly, so when I wasn't flying home, I was flying for the show. And I mean men John Hodgman and Lowen
and I would go out and do stand up. I've got a text John Hodgman. He's one of my favorite people. So I would go on the road with Hodgmen and just had the best time. But I was missing my family terribly, and I was missing so many of the kids' functions, and you know, it's such an important time in their life, and I was, you know, if ever had to go two or three weeks without seeing them, I was just
absolutely devastated. And I was sleeping under my desk because I would take red eyes, which is the worst, the absolute worst. You'd never want to take a red eye ever, if you can avoid it at all costs. It sets me back for like two days after that. So I felt like during my time here, I was never really operating at one hundred percent, and I was, you know, it's like one of those regrets thing. I probably should have just moved everybody out. I also did it something
really stupid, and I moved to Dumbo in Brooklyn. I walked to the show. That would have been the smartest thing. My buddy I grew up with, who had a place, and that seemed to make sense to me. But I never should have committed to anything. I should have lived and walked away. I should have been here for every single morning meeting, like the dad and me talking to my son who's now twenty two living in San Francisco.
It's like first guy there, last guy to leave, Like I didn't know any of that, and here I'm a forty year old man, and I know my work ethic is amazing, and I do a lot of things. But I should have been here very first thing. And I also was given bad advice from the existing correspondence because like Manve rolled in at one pm every day, Jones, and like, we were getting advice from people that had just been here. They barely were in the building. And
I should have just been at that morning meeting. I had nothing else going on. I didn't have a kid, I was trying to get ready for school or anything like that. There was no excuse for me not to be here, showered with a pen in my hand, ready to go. And that's what I would have done over again. It would be a different situation. But again I was just a love love loved my time here, even considering,
but at some point it came to an end. Because a lot of celebrities and famous people come to this show, and I remember r who was the EP and John's you know, right hand person at the time, and Albanize he ponnd Off, Jason Catums and Kathy katums On Me and Jason Katus from Friday Friday Night Lights. And we were maybe with you editing a piece. The correspondent goes and sits in the edit, and I was showing them how we did a piece. I believe it was the Bridge to Nowhere, the Canadian Bridge.
Thing that I did was that piece up the Ambassador Bridge.
Great great piece, great piece, and it really was.
Yeah, that was really fun to cut to.
Yeah. So we are doing that and he comes in. I meet Jason Caatums. He has a TV show called About a Boy and cast me in it. I'm pretty confident that NBC, Like he just insisted that I was in it was it was. I auditioned four times, like are you sure?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
The guy just gave me this great gig. So and then I got to I went to John. I'm like, who had kids? I think has kids exactly my children's age, And I went.
To his kids are like twenty two, nineteen something like that.
Nineteen yeah.
Yeah.
So I went to John, I go. I missed my children terribly and I need to go. And I really wasn't here for very very long.
You know.
I was always telling you right correspond sporadically after that, but I was always telling new corresponds when they came in because I had a little bit of crossover with Roy and with Ronnie and Desi, and definitely Klepper and Hassan. I would always do them like stay on the show for one hundred plus episodes. That's where you start to really get recognized. And I just couldn't. I couldn't. I was desperate to hang out with my wife and kids. I'm not good on the road. I love stand up
That's why I got in this. I just don't of flights with connections. I don't love hotel soaps. That's what I bonded with John Stewart over.
Yeah, John had that in his background.
Let's think about it. Am I the only I know? There's been other stand up comics, but why it was more alternative. John Oliver was a little bit more skewed, more alternative. I'm like the only club comic other than John Stewart. Ronnie doesn't count Roy, Roy Wood.
Or wait, right, Why doesn't Ronnie count.
The Australian who knows what's going on?
Right? Yeah, Roy right, definitely has been on the roads.
Roy Roy is, he's one of the best people. And yeah, Roy, Ronnie's you know, actually a major comic with three Netflix specials. I'm just talking about, like in terms of like American clubs coming up. I think it's just me, Roy and John.
Yeah, and a lot of the others like came from like improd and Impractice acting.
I still have Rob Wriggle gave me his Colbert notes to come.
In right Colbert note, the famous Colbert notes, Well I would pass.
I passed those on right to every single person.
I think. I was just texted four fourteen how many it was like, it's like.
Just texted to these guys. I'll read them to you right now. These are so I was on a TV show with Rob Wriggle called Gary U Married. He played Jay Moore's brother. I've been on so many sitcoms.
You have no idea that's the ither thing. Let's see Ronnie and Costa. Okay, this is the list.
So this is from Rob Wriggle. This is an emails the original Colbert original Colbert note that he gave to Wriggle.
I asked Wriggle.
Four, he gave them to me, and then I've since passed them to Ronnie roy Klepper and then they've gone and past I know he has amazing yeah, and they still hold up. So hey, al So I found Coldbert's notes for me on things to think about when doing a field piece. Number One, do you want to be saying this here? Burn tape? Tape is cheap? Keep talking and keep them talking too, Break up questions still, let them see where you're going. Three, play the silence. Four,
match energy with subject. Five. Discover things in the moment. Be aware of when those discoveries happen. Six, Always be asking yourself, what's my point of view on the subject? Seven You have to think it's funny. You find a way to make that happen. Eight. Get clear on three to five things you want your subject to say, and don't let them leave until you get them. It's very important. Nine Understand the real point what's behind all of this? What are you saying? And that was like when I
was here on the show. I think there was a shift. It's like we didn't want to just be making fun of things. It's easier just to shoot down. You want to also post, so yeah, and then ten characters key understand your point of view on the issue, and you will be able to react spontaneously in the moment. That's it, bro. These were the TIFFs.
And the most important one, and Colbert told you was leave your soul at home.
Oh yeah, gave me when I started. And they hope they help you all the best. Wriggles yep, So that's it. And then I learned a couple other ones. I remember Wriggle told me, whatever you do, don't let Stu Miller drive. And then these guys don't have cars. We go out there and there got a rental car and they're in Manhattan. I'm like, what are you doing? This is like an eight point turn. Just get out of the car. None of them know how to drive. And then if they're
in Manhattan without a vehicle, it's crazy. So it's just like, give me the keys. I'm not going to do this. And then what was the other one that was just hilarious. It was check yourself with this dour Oh. John Oliver grabbed me. This is day one. He goes, I'm going to tell you the only thing you really need to know. He goes always live in the edit, so you could be seeing it if you're like, if you think of something witty that was from fifteen minutes.
Ago, just do it, Just do it and we can put it in.
So you know, good Field pieces are made when I say something, they say something, and then I say something back that's funny, and so there has to be this exchange and back and forth. So you're always searching to avel together as many of those moments as you possibly can.
That's what I'm for, That's what I do. You the cobbler, Yeah, I mean you'll you'll, I mean I've always said that to to h Corspond. It's like, just remember you can start over, you can do anything. You know, it's all just think about that. It's it's not happening live. It's not happening live, you know. And if you you're but you feel like it's happening live, but remember that, you know. I can you know, we don't. We never we never
misrepresent people. But we will take you know, I'll take like a stronger yes, you know to a question you ask, I might you know what I mean like that sort of thing.
I'm not asking they haven't said yes, they've already said it.
Yeah, they've already said it, and then we're not mis representing them at all. But I like to create what seems like a seamless conversation in a piece, even though the sentence might be coming like ten minutes apart.
Sitting down with everybody I sat down with. I always was a nice guy. I know some correspondents had different strategies when approaching a subject, like Jones barely talk to him.
Yeah, he would not engage until.
I go, hey, how are you? I'm al this is gonna be a piece of cake. Now, I'm funny. You're not funny, I go, So I just need to keep it straight. So if you're going to make a joke, I'm just gonna have to stop and have to redo it because I'm not going to use it.
So I just would love you to.
Speak in nice, concise chunks, right, and just say what you're going to say straight answers. If I tell you to tighten something up, I'll need you to tighten it up. So you'll see me do two things for three or four times. I'm going to have you do things three or four times. Then the other thing is if I ask you a question, you need to respond with the question and the answer. So I asked you what my favorite color is? You say, my.
Favorite color is blue. You have to use it later, Yeah, I guesse, I.
Have to use it later without me in it, and yeah. Then I would go on and there was a couple more, and then at the end of a piece we'd always go, Okay, just a couple of wild lines. Can you say these for me?
Right?
Maybe?
I just yeah, So let's talk about your field work? Oh shit, Yeah, what was your favorite? The favorite, your favorite piece of all that you've done?
You did, I think the just because of how it magically came together. When you do a field piece, you go and you have a joke session. You try to anticipate what people are going to do. I did a lot of fun I mean Top five definitely Latinos in Austin, Texas. All these, by the way, still hold up. Where my second one was Tucson Michael Hicks who's passed away. That Tucson was the book band that was Chicano's studies band. Yeah, yeah,
that was a great one that got national news. And that was my second piece.
Across the country, public education is failing.
But in Arizona, lawmakers have found.
The solution to the biggest problem facing their schools.
Arizona's Governor Jan Brewer just approved to build banning ethnic studies classes in public schools.
And using this new law, the Tucson School Board banned the K through twelve Mexican American Studies program. School board member Michael Hicks.
My concern was a lot of the radical ideas that they were teaching in these classes, telling these kids that this is their land, the whites took it over, and the only way to get out from beneath the gringo, which is the white man, is by bloodshed.
When you sat in on these classes, what types of.
Tho I chose not to go to any of their classes?
Why even go? Why even go?
I based my thoughts on hearsay from others, So I based off of those.
So the school board and Tucson banned and.
Mexican Americano Studies.
Right, And you spoke to a councilman there.
I spoke to the school board member named Michael Hicks, and he said.
What was it? Well, the best part about was you said you asked him, what about African African Americans? Yeah, and he said, yeah, that's fine. And you said, well, I'm a black kid, teach me about it, teach me about slavery. He just started digging.
Yeah, he just dug himself in such a major hall. He was a perfect person, because.
You remember you asking him, am I three fifths person? He goes, I think you're more a quarter over first, Yeah.
I'm a black kid.
Try to teach me about slavery without me feeling resentment towards white people.
How am I going to teach you about slavery? Slavery was how did I end up here? Slavery was a m okay, well, I gotta figure out how, okay the white man did bring over the.
Africans?
What kind of jobs did we do?
The jobs that you guys did was basically slavery jobs.
So after we were freed, we got to.
Vote, Yes, you got well, you didn't get to vote until later. And we were equal almost equal.
Well, we were like sort of a half or three fifths.
My personal perception of it, I would say you're probably a quarter.
It was insane and that was and that got a lot of attention.
I got in trouble for it.
He got in deep shit.
Yeah. Do you remember chicken boxing? I had?
Chicken boxing was ridiculous.
In two thousand and eight, Louisiana came to its census and outlawed the barbaric sport of cockfighting, and the chickens of that state finally had some peace.
State Senator Albert Gilliery.
We have outlawed cockfighting. Those blood sports no longer active in Louisiana. I'm not a fan of cockfighting, but I love to go and watch some chicken boxing.
I'm going to stop you right there.
You just said chicken boxing.
Yes, chicken boxing in Louisiana is still not legal, but we're fighting to.
Make it legal.
You meant to say chicken boxing.
I meant to say chicken boxing. Human beings put gloves on and box. Chickens can put gloves on and box.
Chicken boxing was in Apple Loosa with Burger and they were trying to ban they they did ban cockfighting, and now guys were trying to introduce chicken boxing and they made little gloves and I went out.
To that and they had yeah, and they had an arena. The guy took you.
I took to arena. And I go to this guy.
We're like a really nice little like mini Madison Square garden. It was like amazing that.
That was crazy.
And I was out with these guys on clearly they were training roosters due to cockfighting, and they put it's horrible. They put razor blades on their claws and they're vicious. They're like training pit bulls or anything like that. And I go, hey, man, to the saide, this was real? Which one of these and it goes if it was.
Real, like it is real, like an idiot.
And then me and Berger were on but the graphic on our way to the cockfighting ring, and this dude looks at me and I'm a Latino in a suit in a rental car and looks at me, looks at me in the eyes and starts running at the car and I.
Go Burger, Burger go like that.
There's been a couple of moments where I've been like, we're gonna die right now.
Yeah, I was gonna ask you about that. In Times you felt rich.
In Virginia at Barack Obama announcing is he was gonna run again?
I think.
You mean for the second time, for the second Oh, the sink of Demio piece. I remember that one.
I almost got beat up because everyone was drunk.
Yeah.
Do you think you can keep this enthusiasm up until November?
I think I can because I'll drink Corona like his water drink, but like his water drink, vodka.
Like its water, Tequila like his water.
Can you keep it up until November?
Honestly?
Are you kidding me?
I can here all the time.
I'm fired up.
Are you pumped up because you think Barack Obama will finally be able to not worry about this combative Congress and he can actually be progressive in his theoretical second termament.
I spell we see those those misdirect yeahs, you go in, you set it up, you think it's you've set it up to the to our audience as like I'm going to this young people's Obama rally that you think it is and it's a sink of demop And it.
Turns out these Obama supporters love latinos out and you're like, and just as much as they love drinking.
Yeah. We used to do that with the same Patrick State Parade, like on a yearly basis, we'd figure out or like a like when the Giants won the Super Bowl. We'd go down there and think of you know, I think it was like we act like it was for something else and talking to people.
There was a time that I went out with Stu Miller to Phoenix and the guy we lined up wouldn't speak to us. So we bailed the last the very last sea. That's how he's not coming. And then we just had to improvise and we joined a rally and I remember ripping a John. My Spanish is a little rusty, but what I think he said was yeah.
I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah, I cut that one. I cut that one. I remember that the guy, the guy, and then you just guy speaks.
He says, heartfelt in Spanish to the camera.
Weird, it's a political rally.
We're hardworking people and we just and this is SB ten seventy right. It was like yeah, and he said, we're hardworking people. We really, you know, don't deserve to be villainized, you know.
And we don't have this, we don't have the subtitle. So if you don't speak Spanish, don't nobody's saying yeah.
And then I go John, My Spanish is a little rusty, but I think what he just said was about his girlfriend.
Yeah, like that he was.
It was like it was like sorry baby.
And the guys just looking at you. It was so good. Well that's another that's another little, a little a side note for the listeners. You don't speak Spanish.
Spanish is.
Because I remember, like early on when you were at the show, at some point we're like, oh, we can do this piece, and we can do it in Spanish. Because over the years we've done a couple of pieces where it was entirely in span We did one Mexico and we did one way back when with Morocca where they where they did the entire show was the entire piece was in Spanish because they went somewhere where everybody spoke Spanish, and there was there was a point, there
was a point with you. I remember at some point when they were like, oh, yeah we can, this will be great, we can actually we could do the peace in Spanish. And then you're like, I don't speak Spanish. You're like, yeah, wait.
What second generation half Mexican from San Francisco. And I think, you know, when you look back at all the pieces, which was a lot, a lot of them unfortunately still hold up. I think I did a good job of representing the fact that no one can represent all Latinos, because I've said that multiple times, so going on and saying there is no one repping all Latinos there, that person doesn't exist because we can't agree on anything, and
that is very true to this day. So you know, they make funny if you don't speak Spanish, But then when you don't do speak Spanish and you don't pronounce things properly, and you're really fucked like cause there's no winning. So I think it was very clear about that from day one. But I remember doing a press for the movie Night School with Kevin Hart and Tiffany Addish and it was me, Fat Joe and Kevin Hart doing Miami press and.
They're all expecting me to speak.
Kevin Hart looks at me and he goes, wait a second, you don't speak Spanish. It's the only reason you're here.
It's the only reason.
He started cracking up. We thought it was the funniest thing. He's like, I speak more Spanish than you do. Do you think I'm gonna turn down a free trip to Miami to hang out with Fat Joe and Kevin Hart.
No, I'll be here another piece that was a really really fun piece and really like like a feel good piece in a lot of ways.
They let me do some very silly, weird ship.
But this was actually a real It was a really solid piece. Last gay standing.
It was called Alabama and mississipp So who's it gonna be?
Platus or vatus?
It was time to see which one of these backwoods, inbred, homophobic states will swim the longest against the tide of history. First, let's meet some locals to see whose state has the intolerance edge.
In this corner, from the.
State that still has segregated sororities, Alabama lawyer Doug Jones.
With regard to same sex marriage, Alabama will be the last state to ratify, if we ever ratify.
And in the other corner from the state with a Confederate flag inside their own state flag, Mississippi.
Columnists Slim Smith, Mississippi will be last, and we'll get there kicking and screaming all the way.
I wish it weren't true, but it.
Is so the whole premise of the pieces. You know, all these states are legalizing gay marriage. Who will be the last?
Be the last one of the last five states? And he goes I think it's gonna be the Deep State, the Deep South, and the deep State.
It's going to be the deep.
You'll cut that out.
I think it's going to be the Deep South.
So you go. And it was hilarious because you were like, because they both were defending their state in to be the last one. They both they both want to be, because the irony was really because they were both like, yeah, will be the last one. I mean the one. The newspaper guy is like, come on, we still have like we still have uh, segregation laws on the books. And then and then you asked them about sodomy and he goes, he goes, well, it's a it's a uh, it's a
I think he said that. Deve Jones says it's a mismeanor. And you cut the other guy and goes asdomy's a felony. Yes, right, and they're all trying to outdo how shitty their state is hilarious.
Then we were in Birmingham and we were in Jackson, and that was the thing is that had we been in this deep too, I'm cut you off. But we were in those two cities and that affected the peace and we had no idea.
But you going right, because then you went out to waffle houses.
All right, that's it.
We'll settle this the old fashioned way in a waffle house, y'all.
I want everybody to know we met two years ago at a waffle house, and I just want to say, would.
You, Michael, would you marry me?
This is our anniversary and I just wanted to know you're you're not if you would do this because this is very special to me.
Yes, who's that clapping?
Okay, Mississippi, last chance to bring some authentic anti gay redneck venom. I want to say, in front of everybody, I want to ask you, sincerely, would you marry me?
Yes?
Yes, yes, yeah, seriously, these are the two gayest states in the Union.
No, but the point of the whole thing was everywhere they went, nobody gave a ship.
Everywhere, and no one cared at all. And actually, in.
In the waffle house, they applauded, and he.
Proposed applauded, and a little boy said, you can't do that here, but not yet. But you can't do it here here, here, here, here, and here, and he rattled off all the states where you could.
Get legally married as a gig.
Oh. I didn't know that and.
Then they would applaud. And then I had a very interesting conversation with the guy next to me who I was waiting in the waffle house because I'm and this was when Obamacare was coming out. But he told me his wife was a waitress. He was waiting for her to get off her shift and she made two dollars and sixty seven cents per hour and then they let her keep her tips. And then he was anti Obamacare. But they didn't have healthcare at the waffle house, and I'm like, but you see how this can help you.
It didn't. So I just remember that and I remember.
But the nice thing about the piece was a kind of it shift minded you pee. It reminds you of like a lot of these issues, people don't care. It's all the it's all the people in power and the government that make big issues at these things. Nobody gets about it.
And that's why I just I really wish we could have some sort of secure nationwide voting on major.
Issues like referendums.
Let's talk about guns, like, all right, who wants, you know, rifles to exist for hunting? And then let's get rid of automatic weapons? Do we need those? We don't.
Yeah, even gun owners, It's like, yeah, it's it's nuts. I guess we can talk a little bit more about the bridge piece.
That's right, people of Michigan are going to have to pay for the entire Wait what did you just say?
Michigan will pay nothing for this bridge?
To find nothing zero.
Zero dollars, zero outlays, zero risk, zero liability to find zero, no cost to Michigan at all, absolutely nothing.
To find nothing.
Again, but nothing probably means something, especially when you consider how many times America has been burned by slick talking Canadians.
Look, when politicians tell you that this ain't gonna cost you nothing, grab your wallet, grab your money and run break wide.
Dude.
The Canadians are saying they're gonna pay for this bridge, but I don't trust them.
And they say a lot of things sometimes in French.
And they buy our milk at Sam's because Canadian milk is very expensive.
True, Sorry, what does that have to do with this Nothing?
Canada is offering a trojan hearts.
Oh you think they're gonna hide a bunch of Canadians in there and they're just gonna jump out of an attack US once the bridge is complete.
No, it's not gonna be Canadians. It's going to be a Chinaman.
Yeah, I just want Americans on that bridge. I don't want a trojan horse delivering China steel and chinaman.
Just f a.
I don't think anyone's using Chinaman anymore.
That was one of the best that was.
That was a great piece. And the people that you talked to were so funny. I just remember that. I remember that. No, the ex black panther guy pulled out who was like, in my town, I run this town and run. And then you when you tell him that, when you go back to all of them to tell him that the bridge is owned to run your business, but the bridge is owned by an individual like a
family that owns the bridge. And this is why madd maroon and he goes, yeah, I know that, and he pulls on, he goes, he goes all about these politicians, and I just I'll never forget this image. He pulls out this.
Grm, this ginormous wad that's like it must be four inches thick cash and you waste it around going it's.
All about the cash. Guy's got like thousands of dollars in cash. He was so big and he's a giant. And I go and he's like, I run this town. Yeah, I know that guy owns the bridge, so what.
I don't want to They had paid them off.
We were we were in a h and the woman you remember, the housewife.
Yeah, she's like, and the milk prices.
And they come over here, you know, you know, they come over here to buy their milk. You know that right can come in.
I don't know.
But and then there's a Chinese guy, the tea party guy who goes he said Chinaman, and I go hate just definitely.
I don't think they're caught him China anywhere anywhere. And I go and they prefer.
I think this guy cut out.
I go, they prefer Oriental.
Yes, that did get cut out because I remember that was that's a joke that we all wanted to keep, but they cut it out. As we went alone, they were like, yeah, that's a little that's a little too much. Anyway, that's funny.
And then you got to do that stylized Clint Eastwood. It crushed the three hundred piece with the steam. I drove around and go pros.
With the pros attached to the car.
Yeah, we did the bridge.
The Eminem thing like, yeah, if I remember, you found.
A toll booth, we couldn't shoot well you but you faked it.
Oh my gosh, toll booth number.
Yeah.
And you keep you keep because we have you.
We have you drive and shoot on it any because of homely and security, you can't shoot on it.
You kept you But in this in the piece, you keep driving on the bridge and trying to talk to the to the toll booth collector.
We're here to talk to Maddie Maroon.
You guy who owns a bridge four seventy five, sir, thank you?
So yeah, the guy who owns a bridge, his named Maddie Maroon is sort of this monopoly.
I'll be back.
Hi, it's me again.
As I was saying, I want to talk to me.
All the fine.
Denise, don't you think it's.
A little odd that one man owns a bridge?
You need to stop around.
Go and watch this piece again.
We found a new Jersey six flags and made their ticket booth.
Look like it, and you even had cars going by in the background.
It was such a brilliant production.
And then I remember John coming in the edit bay and he goes, how did you do this?
This is amazing, and we looked.
At each other like.
Movie magic, Do you really want to.
Yes, tell me. Then he goes no, He walked out, and he walked back in and goes, fine, just tell me what you did. You can't shoot on any bridge. So that's kind of a reenactment at New Jersey six Flags. And if you look at closely, the same production van drives through three times faking traffic. It's all sound effects for the horns.
Yeah, it was really fun, fun piece.
She was a great actress.
The last one on my list of my favorite seris is of course tanks. Tanks, tanks.
Oh, I got to drive tanks, tanks, tanks, tanks, little tanks, tang tanks.
Does your country name tanks?
We got more tanks than we know what to do with a big ouse Western Tank Imporium.
And they're not just for attacking Africa.
They could do it all. Jo sing printed Quarta and of course I'm getting traffic.
We will not be under sold because I'm now maderable about tanks.
We may invade you with the ground war and destroyed the tanks we sold you in the first place.
There's a place in Casoda drama tanks where you can drive a tank. I think I've shot machine guns so much on the show. I shot a Tommy gun in there that didn't even make the piece like do you want to go shoot a Tommy gun? I'm like, yeah, sure, And and then I got to drive these tanks. But the things such a weird place.
So the piece for the listeners, the piece was they were, there's a.
The United States government is still buying tanks. There's no well, there's a factory. The story was, there's a factory, you know Ohio.
I think some of the details the manufacturing tank, manufacturing tank, and it's always and it's all uh, it was all part of some pork from some Ohio senator. Yes, yeah, miles. And so this factory keeps and you talk to a general if you remember a retired generals like tire general, we got we don't need any more tanks. We've got plenty of tanks up here. Yeah, And so they keep building this like and this. The factory has like eighty employees.
It wasn't like a ton of people. But this guy makes a big stink about like, we can't show down the factory. We can't lose these eighty jobs. And so there's all these extra tanks and they just put them in this graveyard out in Utie.
There's a tank graveyard with they all got all this great piculous amount of money.
So then we end the piece with you like I used, well, you like a used car salesman trying to sell tanks, don't I get? And you get in a tank and you start crushing you like you gotta get a tank. It's like the best. And then you crushed like toys and stuff.
They had me crush to saturns.
Oh wait, you you crushed cars.
I crushed cars driving a tank.
That's right.
This job is so.
They bought some beat up, old used cars and you crushed.
Them and I got But there was a lady. This place has a woman, like the attractive woman in a bikini that was like is supposed to like rub your shoulders while you drive the tank. I don't know who wants to.
I don't remember that.
No, she didn't make the piece, but that's what this place was.
Yeah, it was like chicks where Carolina, Carolinas.
It was in Minneapolis. Oh wow, at like an hour and a half outside minute, and I think it was like Casota, Minnesota or something.
Yeah, all right, So I guess we're running out of time here.
I gotta go rehearse.
Yeah you are doing You're now Lopez Lopez versus Lopez.
Yeah. I'm on George Lopez's sitcom, which is the best him, his daughter, my inn, and I play a stoner on a multi camp, which is the best gig ever. And I also write, so I have a CBS overall. They also I write TV shows and developed stuff for CBS. And then I'm back around on the road doing stand up. So please come out and see me do some stand up comedy. I think I have a bunch of dates Austin, Chicago, Milwaukee websites, and I should put things on a website.
This is You're gonna be the only people who know. So please come out and see me do stand up.
It'll be fun. Glad to have you back in the building.
Love being back in the building.
All right, you need to come more often, so sure anytime.
If only there were latinos were in the news.
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