Beefzuz | W. Kamau Bell

Hall of Baseball Hall of Fame. People should be talking about the Hall of Shame for every sport because people forget that a ton of athletes take all of these performance and haunts and drugs and they don't do ship afterwards. Those are the people we should be going after. You took drugs and no highlights. You're out here in these streets, you just like you're injecting yourself and nothing, striking out, walking off nothing. Those are the people we should be

going after in the sport out here spoiling. Imagine how much time of our lives has been wasted by athletes who dope and did nothing. Those are the people that the sporting federations should go after. If you're gonna take stories and hit home runs, I'm for you because you did it for my entertainment. I like watching home runs. You're gonna take steroids and then missed the ball. I could have missed the ball with no steroids. Now you

just spoiled the sport for no reason. Coming to you from the heart of Times swear in New York City. It's the only city in America. It's The Daily Show. Here's edition tonight. Fine dropped the mine? Music? Is how this be? And w come out about? This is the Daily Show with Trevor Noah. Hey, what's going on? Everybody? Welcome to The Daily Show. I'm Trevor Noah and joining me for today's headlines is Michael Costa. What's going on? Michael? How you doing okay? You know it's kind of a January. Yeah,

it's dark out, it's cold. You know, I just got my holiday credit card bills. It's just kind of downtime. I was thinking maybe it would be nice if for you and for the viewers, if I started the show with with a fun, lighthearted fact. Oh and that was it? Yeah, I mean, wouldn't that be I don't have one, but wouldn't that be nice? It would be good. It would

be a good way to start things. Yeah, yeah, I think you you took because now I got depressed thinking about your bills and the darkness and the it would have been. It would be great if you started with something lighthearted going forward. That's what we'll do, my man. Yeah, I'm glad you think of these things. All right. Let's jump right into today's headlines. We kick things off with Joe Byron, the president who puts the hip in hip replacements.

Like most presidents, Biden has a complicated relationship with the media, which I get. You know, they nitpick everything, he says. They challenge all of his decisions, and they even get their own room in his house, which is insane. Nobody else has to set aside a guest room for their haters. Well, yesterday, Biden's true feelings about at least one remember of the press slipped out. On Monday, when a Fox News reporter asked him a question about inflation, Mr Biden fired off

an insult Sable Deucey says. President Biden later called him to clear the air and to say his comments were not personal. Within about an hour of that exchange, he called my cell phone and he said, it's nothing personal, pal, And we went back and forth and we were talking about just kind of moving moving forward and I made sure to tell him that I'm always going to try to ask something different than what everybody else is asking, and he said, You've got to and that's a quote

from the President, So I'll keep doing it. You see, this is what happens when you've been on zoom calls for two years. You forget that real life doesn't have a mute button. Son of a bitch? Was that alloud? Sorry? Now a lot of people are asking if Biden even knew that the microphone was on, but guys, please come on, right, he's sitting there talking into a giant microphone, so there's

at least as he knew it was there. And a lot of people online are dunking on the reporter saying that he deserved this because he's just some Fox News guy asking a dumb question, and they're right. You know, do you think inflation is a political liability is a very stupid question. I mean, what's Biden is supposed to say? No, I think people like spending more money to buy the

same ship. I mean, if you get to ask the presidents a question, you should ask him real questions, like why can't the CDC get its messaging straight on covid or can you ask your dog to stop chewing my arm? And because of this moment, there are many people who are saying that this shows that Biden and Trump treat the press with the same level of animosity. And I'm sorry, guys, no, I can't accept that. I cannot believe that people would even say something so disrespectful about my man, Donald jiu

Jitsu Trump. First of all, he wouldn't mumble that into a hot mic, so he would screen that ship into your face. He'd be like, get that son of a bit out of here. So rude, so rude. My crimes are my business. Biden dropped one offhanded dishonor reporter. He's no legend. Attacking the press was Donald Trump's whole thing. You remember that guy ship. You can't compare these two. It's like comparing Steph Curry to a random guy who makes one half court shot during halftime show some respect.

Compare him to Trump, can you imagine? Yeah? I know, but you know you gotta know about the hot mics, right, yeah, you gotta know. That's when I'm on the show here, you know, I know that if I want to talk some ship, I gotta cover up my mic and our audio guy he put for me. He puts it on my on my wrist, so I cover it up and I can say to you, our audio guys sucks. You know that, right, is one of the worst audio guys

I've ever met in show biz. I'm embarrassed. But then once you pull it up, you know what I'm saying. He can't he couldn't hear anything, right, My boy sucks. Right, he's what It's great, dude, See what I'm saying. The yeah, yeo, this ship works all the time. He's a clown. You know what I'm saying. Right, you got him, That's what I'm saying. Hey, no one else heard that. So that's how I stay alive in this biz, dude. And You've got a long career ahead of you. All right, let's

move on to the Winter Olympics. You know, it's that time of the year when we all sit on our couches and critique athletes doing sports we just learned existed. We are now a few weeks away from seeing our favorite athletes sliding down an icy track head first, and also freake first, and also crammed inside a giant dildo. But it seems like The main event of these Olympics will be fending off COVID, and right now China is doing everything it can to win the gold with a

winner games less than two weeks away. Cities across China are scrambling to contain COVID outbreaks, and officials in Beijing now urging local districts to stay in what they call full emergency mode. Authorities are tracking down anyone in the city who has bought medicine in recent weeks that could be used to treat fever or other symptoms, even something as simple as i'd be proofen, and sending text messages ordering them to get COVID tests. Entire buildings are being

locked down, sometimes without warning to the people inside. You know, China does not play games. I mean they will in two weeks, but not now. Can you imagine that? Can you imagine your building being locked down without any warning, no warning, nothing, especially just after you've broken up with someone. Well, guess what, Sheila, we're through. And by the way, I

slept with your sister. Yeah. Look, we all said a lot of things back there about sleeping with your sister, you know she but this is this is way too much oppression for the Winter Olympics. Can we agree on that? I mean some Olympics, Sure, oppress all you want, but you can't be locking people in their apartments for sports like curling. Even the curling athletes are like, guys, guys,

we're just sweeping ice. Chill, chill. I don't know about you, but the story gave me perspective because Americans complain so much when a restaurant asks them to wear a mask. But then China will shut down your entire block because somebody bought advil. And I'll tell you now, nobody in Beijing is sitting inside their house like damn. This is just like communist New York because this is what real authoritarian control looks like. A government tracking your eyebu prof

and purchases. That's not for the government to know. That's between you and your pharmacy and your credit card company, the Google ads off the you type in head hurt why but not the government. And by the way, if you're wondering how trying to cantrack every single person who has bought hyperproofen um, it's actually not that hard. They just follow the CVS receipts to their front door. You Yeah, I feel like we just had the Olympics. I just didn't watch an Olympics. Now you've asked me to not

watch another Olympics. Right, it shouldn't go summer, winter, summer. I think we should just what are seasons, man, it's fluid. I think we should combine the winter and summer Olympics. Underwater bob sled, you know, rhythmic gymnastic archery, uh, figure skating, basketball, you know that would be I would watch that. The biathlon where you skate and shoot the targets. I heard it for this one in China. You don't shoot targets, you just shoot people who tested positive for COVID. I

can't confirm that, but that's so I heard. Called the Olympic committee. Tell them called committee. I know you call them a lot so called. I text normally, but to till I'm calling it all right. Finally, let's get into some education news. Every American student knows about the s A T. Right, It's the only reason. You know what supercilious means. It means very sillious. For years now, many experts have been saying that the s A T isn't actually very useful, Yeah, that it doesn't predict how well

students will do in college. It's biased against people of color and rich kids can just hire expensive tutors to take the test for them. But now the company that makes the test is saying, no, don't throw it out altogether. Maybe it just needs an upgrade. Yes, A teams going digital starting next year. Today, the College Board is announcing several changes for the entrance exam taken by millions of

high school students each year. They'll be answering questions on a digital device for two hours instead of the current three hour paper tests. But students still do have to go to a school or testing center. The new test cannot be taken at home. As we take the test digital, we've been really focused on students access to technology. Students are gonna be able to use their own device or one issued by their school. Wow, this is so convenient.

Soon high school kids are gonna be able to take the S A T S on the same device they use to browse TikTok, chat with their friends, block messages from Matt Gates. It's amazing. And I know this idea has its hate is I know the critics who are like, where is this gonna end? They made the S a T shorter they put it online pretty soon, it'll just be a BuzzFeed quiz called tell us your favorite Ninja turtle and we'll tell you if you're smart enough for Yale.

This guy should host the show. I like him. But you know what, they actually might have a point because the S a T company they say that what they're gonna do for the test when it's digital is they're gonna block other tabs from popping up on the screen. You can't go anywhere. You can just do the test and the device will only have the test. I don't know, man,

have you tried to block pop ups? Like you try to close that ad and the next thing you know, you buls deep in a rabbit hole of porn, sports, gambling, crypto. Why George Bush did leven? I mean it's all the things you're gonna learn in college, so I guess it works. But still more screen time for kids, that's what you're telling me. Look, the S A T is not relevant.

I mean I didn't do great on my S A T. And my vocabulary is still extremely well, you know, I I understand and use words wonderfully, or as some others might call it, a necrophiliac. So it's not like it prepares kids to be successful. If you want to prepare American kids to be successful, teach them how to sing in a competition on TV or run through an obstacle course. Yes, powerful, you know what I mean. I feel you completely, Yeah, I really do. I know. I didn't need to tell you,

but I didn't. I didn't crush the s A T. But I cry. I would have never known, I know, and I you know, I don't share that with people that often. But to reach the heights that I'm at, yeah, you know, even though I sit beneath you pretty low. Actually, uh, it's it's remarkable because my s A T score was was pretty bad. And I guess that that really has shown that the s A T though sometimes shows, but in most cases not because I would have never known you did badly. And I don't share that with a

lot of people. Yeah, And you know what, I don't think you should because there's no point in bragging, right, you just keep that between us. You got whatever you want to. You know what I didn't hold on. I didn't do great on the s A T. Thank you, all right, don't go away because when we come back. We're gonna look at why everyone in the music industry is fighting right now. You don't want to miss it. Welcome back to the Daily Show. Like cocaine and harmonies,

beefs are an essential parts of the music business. Think about it, Tupac versus Beagi, the Dixie Chicks versus George Bush, Keith Richards versus mortality. And with so many new beefs going on in the music world right now, we figured it's about time to settle some of those scores in our brand new segments we call beef says alright, alright, everybody,

this is our first beef check this out. In one corner, we got Neil Young, the godfather of grunge, the man with the heart of gold, the dude who owns your dad's CD show. He's going up against Spotify, the streaming servant that's paid artists thousands of cents over the years. Can't wait to see this beef hit it. Fans of Neil Young might soon have one less place to listen to his music. The rocker wants Spotify to remove his music from its streaming services due to the spread of

COVID nineteen misinformation on Spotify's popular Joe Rogan podcast. In a statement, he said, quote, I am doing this because Spotify is spreading fake information about vaccines potentially causing death to those who believe that this information being spread by them. Now, he gave Spotify exacts and ultimatum, saying they can have

Joe Rogan or Neil Young, but not both. Damn, Neil Young's got balls because yeah, he's popular, but he's going up against the guy who's so popular that he's the reason kids now have Horse de Warmer in their lunch boxes. I mean. At the same time, though, Spotify should think about this, think about who's going to leave a greater legacy. You know, in thirty years, what are people going to

be slow dancing to at their weddings? And Neil Young ballad or clips of Joe Rogan being wrong about the vaccine. I don't think it's true that there's an increased risk of mild card dietist. I don't know. It actually kind of works now. Look to me, the outcome is clear between Neil Young and Spotify. The winner of this Beasus is guys who love to talk about how everything sounds better on vinyl. This is the perfect excuse for them to tell you, why are you listening to Spotify anyway?

The bit rate totally ruins the dynamic range. Alright, let's stop the artist who soundtrack your quarantine. The empress of Evermore, Taylor Swift. She's been dropping albums almost every week, but according to the guy from that British band that wasn't the Oasis, she's not putting in enough work. Let's see the beech. Looks like there is some bad blood between Taylor Swift and Blur frontman Damon Albern. During an interview a recent interview with The Los Angeles Times, he claimed

Swift doesn't write her own songs. He said writing music doesn't count if you co write, and that co writing is very different from writing well. Taylor swiftly hit back, slamming the musician on Twitter. She tweeted, I was such a big fan of yours until I saw this. I write all of my songs, my own songs. Your hot take is completely false and so damaging. You don't have to like my songs, but it's really messed up to

try and discredit my writing. However, and later responded with an apology, saying he had a conversation about songwriting that was reduced to clickbait. He said he apologizes unreservedly and unconditionally, and said the last thing he would want to do

is just credit Taylor Swift. Yo. That was the fastest ending beef of all time because one minute the dude was like, Yo, Taylor ain't shit, she doesn't write ship and also I'm sorry, Taylor, please don't hurt me, please, And I'm not surprised he realized how wrong he was. I mean, guys, she Swift is one of the most renowned lyricists of our generation. Meanwhile, Blood's most famous lyric is And by the way, by the way, people, there's no shame in co writing. Right, I'm not saying Taylor

Swift does. I'm just saying there's no shame in co writing. Don't forget. Even God had co writers, al right. It was Matthew Mark Luke, John Bale helped with the Bible. And no one ever says God's fake. I mean except Ricky Javais, but he's going to hell anyway, so it doesn't count. Anyway. It's no surprise who the winner of the beefs is. Between Taylor Swift and Damon elbon Is, it's Jake Jillenhall. Yeah, you see, finally the heats is off. Now he's in the corner like, yeah, get that blood guy,

and I keep the scoff all right. Next Beef, y'all, I'm talking about Cardi B. The wappiest weapon the game. And thanks to her, beef for the YouTube blogger the Bow Deck Yellow Singer is about to see a lot more green. A legal victory for Cardi B. Yesterday, a federal judge awarded The Boat Yellow Singer more than a million dollars after Cardi sued blogger Tasha Ka for spreading lies. TMZ reporting that the court found the YouTube reliable on

three separate counts. Now an issue was Tasha Ka saying that Cardi B once worked as a prostitute, did drugs, and contracted sexually transmitted infections. Yes, suit him, Cardi suit him. People gotta know, spreading lies about Cardi B is not OK. I'll show myself out what the very least, at the very least, if you're gonna lie, to be smart about it, all right, you're gonna talk about people, don't print them as allegations. That's libel. What you should do is at

a beat. Now it's a distract. At the same time, the winning a million dollar judgment from a blogger isn't necessarily the payday that it sounds like, because I mean, what are they gonna do garnish her wages for the next seven years. But even though the courts declared Cardi be the winner of this beef, is the actual winner is my friend Pete, because you see, he said all the same ship about Cardi B but nobody reads his blog, so he didn't get sued. Alright, y'all, it's time for

our final beef. We got the guitar guard, the dude responsible for some of the hottest licks and the most racist rants of all time. Eric Clapton. He's throwing down once again with his long time rival reality singer Eric Clapton, continuing his parade of anti vacts nonsense, and this time he says he believes people vaccinated against coronavirus are under

mass hypnosis, and he is very serious about this. In an interview, Clapton, who has vaccinated, argued that subliminal messaging hidden in advertising is what's leading people to get vaccinated. You know, the theory of mass hypnosis formation once I kind of start to look for it. I saw everywhere, and then I remembered seeing little things on YouTube which

were like subliminal advertising. So he heard about the hypnosis and he didn't notice it, and then he looked for it, and then he saw it everywhere, so he got hypnotized. Come on, people, this conspiracy theory is so ridiculous subliminal advertising, it's not even a real thing. I mean, this really drives home that being an expert at one thing does

not necessarily make you an expert at everything. Because Eric Clapton is an amazing guitar player, I'm just not gonna listen to him about COVID anymore than i'd buy an album from Dr Fauci. I'm Dr Fauci, and I'm here to say COVID is messing up the USA. This is almost not a beef because reality doesn't care about your heart takes. All, right, Yeah, it's reality. I mean, try having an argument with oncoming traffic and you let me to know how that works out. But still we have

to pick a winner. And the winner of this beasiness this Kanye West. Yeah you thought he was saying crazy ship, but next to Eric Clapton, he's basically Barack Obama. Taylor, I'm gonna let you finish, but uh psych, all right, that's enough of the beef. I got the itist. Let's take a When we come back. W Kmalbell will be here on the show to talk about Bill Cosby. Don't welcome back to the Day Show. My guest tonight is comedian and director w Camalbell. He's here to talk about

his new docuseries. We need to talk about Cosby. W Kmalbell. Welcome to the Data Show. Yeah, maybe my last time. Welcome your last time. I feel like I might be doing my last You know what I appreciate you, my friend, is the last time we spoke was like in the heart of the pandemic. I was in my apartment and you, I think at home as well, and we're talking and I said to you, I said, you know, come out every single time I see you talking about racism, you

talk about racism. You always bringing the room down. You're talking about racism, and I see you felt that as a challenge. You were like, you know what, Trevor, I'm gonna show you at this time we're gonna talk about Bill Cosby. You thought I brought the room down. Before the room is down. And they're down. A lot of them are down on me right now? Why would you choose to do this? I remember you calling me and you said, hey, do you I'm doing this documentary about

Bill Cosby? Would you like to be in it? And I was like, no, yeah, there was no reason I would want to be part of this document but no. But in all honesty, it's because I know this is strange to say Bill Cosby just was not a cultural influence. We talked talked about that, and it was so weird to me because I'm glad I've watched this documentary because now I truly understand how big Bill Cosby actually was. So tell me, why why do you think we need

to talk about Cosby? I appreciate you talking about that phone call because I got a lot of notes for a lot of people, and I've been very clear about other than obviously hanimal bursts, I'm not I haven't said who said no? So thank you for outing yourself here. Yeah, so a lot of people said no. Of course, Well I only said no because I didn't I could answer

the conversation. I mean a lot of people. I mean, yes, I understand that, but I'm saying, like a lot of I mean, if you stack the yes is next to the nose, yeah, and it's and you know, and a lot of people had a lot of I mean, I had some really great conversations like the one I had with you, with people for a long time that ended in't no yeah yeah. So when you getting all the nose, did you think should I not be made this thing? Yeah?

That was one of the many times I thought, And right now as I sit here, should I have been making this thing? It's like, I can't explain it other than I was. I'm always drawn to difficult conversations. That's kind of I think. Uh. And because Bill Cosby was such a huge cultural racial figure in my life and so charted a path that I was like, that's the path I should be on. Do good work, be a comedian,

but also do good in the world. Like a lot of black folks, specifically of my generation older, we were just gutted to find out about all these allegations and then wrestling with do I believe them? And I believe them? And so it's like and I that conversation is going in my head all the time every time he makes an appearance or sends out sends out a tweet and like, I'm always thinking about it and talking to other people

about it, and I couldn't. I found myself in a position where I was talking to the producers of this doc about it and they were like, they had never thought about it this way, and so this is where we ended up. But yeah, it was I can only say I was compelled to do it by something that was not rational. I think you doing it has, honestly and up one of the hardest conversations that we need to be having in society, not just specifically about Bill Cosby,

but about society as a whole. Right. It feels like, especially when you watch this docuseries, that there were almost you know, three generations of people that are going to exist. There are the people who came up with Cosby. You know, you are sort of in the hearts of that. Like as a child that was Cosby was one of the shape.

It was part of shaping you. Really, you know, I mean people were talking about this, you know, just before we came out for this interview, like my producers and they were talking about how like in white families, they were like, Cosby's this is the biggest thing. It wasn't about black or white. Was Cosby? He was America's dad, America's black, America's right, and he he had done so much.

And you know we talked about how you know you learned this in the documentaries, like how Cosby changed stuntmen in America. Like Cosby was the one who said, hey, you can't have white guys in black face doing a stunt, just get black stuntmen. He changed Hollywood fel Yeah, there were no black performers under contract until Bill Cosby. So you have this generation of people who goes, man, Bill

Cosby changed my world in all the best ways. Then you have the now generation who goes like, well, I just know Blue Cosby as the rapist guy, right, And then you have the generation that goes like, how do we how do we live with the myths and the man? Yeah, and that if you want to that question the documentary for yourself. I think the way we is to deal with all of it. I think the only way you

can deal with it. Like Roland Martin makes a great point of like it you can't talk about black black, you can't talk about American twenty century without talking about Bill Cosby. And I think he says Black America. But you can't talk about America in the twenty without talking about Bill Cosby. But you can't also ignore all the things that have come out in the twenty one century. And so for me, this whole doc is about creating

a space to talk about all of it. It's we need to talk about Cosby, not here's my thoughts on Cosby. And as you can see from that clip, there's a there's nuance, there's anger, and there's sorrow. There's a lot of a lot of it is based in conflict or royaling frustration, and you have to talk about all of it because otherwise we lose essential parts of American history. For a lot of people, I'm hearing like they've been

waiting for this conversation happened in some format. And the other problem in America we have the like it's not time now. It's not time now, anytime there's any major conversation. It just felt like when I started he was in prison, I felt like it's time, and then he got out. He got out on the last day of filming. Yeah, I had two questions, One, how did you feel about that? And too, did you ever reach out to him to be a part of the documentary. So he got out

on the last day of filming. It was one of the most surreal days of my life. Up until tomorrow when he releases a statement about the dock, the surreality will continue. Um, you know, I thought, maybe the project goes away, and also, yeah, maybe the project goes away, you know, because it's just so hard to make. I didn't reach out to him because I was always clear that one it's a conversation about him, it's not it's not a true crime documentary. It's not about finding out

what this person thinks. It's a conversation about the legacy and the work and also the allegations that I believe, as I said, And it just felt like I had, really we had worked hard as a team to get to get to get to earn the survivor's trust, sit down and have these conversations in a more wide open way, and that would have felt like a real betrayal of their trust to put Bill Cosby into this. One thing I appreciated in this documentary is how you having those conversations.

You know, it feels like you had to tackle tackle it in a nuance way. You can just go like so what happened? It seemed like there was more to the conversation. What do you think we missed in some of the ways we were trying to have conversations in and around Cosby and in many of his survivors who came out. It was really important for me and the filmmakers and the other producers to go, let's show who

these people were. Let's bring them in the dock when they're just commenting on the time and the era, and if they have good memories of Bill Case, bring them in to talk about that. Because then the thing happens like maybe some woman is telling you about how Playboy worked, and you who who Heffner was? Another man who's in this era, and you go, she's an expert because she was in Playboy magazine and she was a playmate. And

then you go, oh, wait, she's a survivor. So you get to meet her as a human being who's an expert in her life in her field, and you don't and you're not bringing all that. The survivor is about to tell me a story too. Is it possible to separate the artists from the arts? Do you think it is possible? I mean, I would say this. We separate the art from the artists all the time. There are so many ways it could be. Musicians could be actors,

way they don't have to be criminals. But you go, like, right now you're talking about Eric Clapton, You know what I mean. There are a lot of people who don't agree with any of his vaccine stances, but but but maybe felt touched by the song Tears in Heaven, you know what I mean. Like, So we do that all the time. We just don't think about it until it becomes somebody who's so seminal as Bill Cosby, where if I separate, if I go I can't watch the stuff anymore,

and you go I can. Then it becomes a fight of you mad at me for because you think I don't understand and because you don't think I'm taking him seriously, And so for me, I'm like in the stock we can take the art seriously, but we have to talk about the other stuffs. Well, I'll tell you this man, this documentary, I can't imagine how hard and scary it

was to make it. No, I I appreciate that, but but but honestly I appreciate it just on a personal level because I think it gives people an opportunity to consume an extremely complicated story and a complicated legacy in one of the most nuanced ways possible. So thank you for that, Thank you for putting yourself on the line. And I want you to know if your career ends, I will I will like claim that I never knew you. I appreciate what you did, and I will respect that.

I will respect that this tape will be deleted. I understand now I'm in for realm in congratulations and thank you very much, Thank you very much. We need to talk about Cosby for me is January only on a showtime. We're gonna take a quick break, but we'll be right back after this. Well that's our show for tonight's but before we go. This weekend was the forty ninth anniversary of Row v. Wade, and while it is still law in much of the country, women's reproductive rights are being threatened,

but Planned Parenthood is on the ground. They're helping deliver vital reproductive healthcare, sex education, and information to millions of people, not just in the United States but worldwide. So if you want to support them in their mission, then you can donate at the link below, and so tomorrow, stay safe out there, get your vaccine, and remember you never know when there's a microphone recording you, so just to be safe, call everyone a stupid son of a bitch.

What's the Daily Show weeknights and eleven tenth Central on Comedy Central and stream full episodes anytime on Paramount Plus. This has been a Comedy Central podcast