You're listening to Comedy Central. Good evening and salutations. It's time to once again announced the US Department of Cancelations list of approved cancelations for the year one. Now as a reminder, these are actual cancelations. Now one of them fake cancelations that ends up just making everybody Richard. Nobody's getting a Netflix specially out of this, not even a podcast sponsored by my pillow. This is an official cancelation. This means you've got a listed on your taxes and everything.
Everything in your life gets canceled. Career canceled, Twitter account canceled, Dennis appointment canceled. You think you've got a reservation at Outback Steakhouse, not anymore canceled. First up, Mike Richards. We all know Mike Richards, the producer of Jeopardy, not to be confused with Pramer. Michael Richards, who we canceled back in two thousand six along with Matt Quest. We're just want to getting the job done. Matt Quest to take who left him a slight right and get your ass
up out of here. Mike Richards was selected to take over as host of Jeopardy by the show's producer, Mike Richards. Yes, they kind of looked alike and all the data that they you know, analyzed and just showed them that, you know, he already worked there so it would be less paperwork. Can't blame. But soon after Twitter did his thing and everyone discovered many disparaging comments Richards made about women and Jews, I mean the Jews, Jewish people, Rosa Shano. What's the rightness?
Can we could for its terrible comments and the hubris to think his smarmy asked to succeed a legend. The US Department officially cancels Mikeel Richards and an act of what is justice? Alex loving trade back baby? Next up, uh, former New York Governor Andrew Cuomo. Emphasis on the former.
Andrew Cuomo rose to national prominence at the start of the coronavirus pandemics because in its time of need, America wanted a guy who sounded like alfaci Or to throw up a couple of power points lots and tell us that toilet paper was on the weight. Unfortunately, for Cuomo, all the shaman in the world wasn't gonna help him clean up the ship storm he was about to face.
Cuomo was actually canceled twice this year, first forgetting a bunch of nursing home residents killed and then fudging in numbers to cover it up, and then he was also canceled for sexual harassment against women who worked for him. You can't do both of those in one year. If you're gonna be the most prolific killer of old people, you gotta at least be courteous to women. The Department
of Cancelations approves this cancelation and its sentences. Andrew Cuomo to ten million years in a prison cell built out of the unsold copies of his book. They're gonna lease some room and there for your brothers too. Next up the Cleveland Indian. Now, I don't need to explain why this was canceled. In fact, if you don't know why this was canceled, please turn yourself in for self cancelation. It'll be easier on all of us. I'll be the
first to witness this one. Took us over a hundred years to process the paperwork on, but we finally got it done. There's a big backlog, Cleveland Indians, Kansas City Chiefs, Atlanta Braves. We got the Native American mascot division of this department working around the clock. They don't even get Thanksgiving off has messed up. Luckily, I don't think anyone in Cleveland is gonna be missing that name because the
new name is amazing. The Cleveland Guardians sounds great if we checked the make shore that the Guardian in the name or like some white supremacy group or something round sound a little white supremacy. And finally, former President Donald J. Trump, whose vicious lies about the election inspired his porters to storm the capital and return him to power illegally for shaking the foundation of our precious democracy to it the very core, the U. S Department of Cancelation officially cancels
him for all time. And then again his supporters stormed Eye building, trash, eye offices, busted up eye break room fridge, and now I have to bring my lunch to work in a cooler. So to avoid that happening again, the Department of Cancelation officially endorses Donald J. Trump for president in T four. Don't get him, future boss. I'm sorry. I'm not about to get beat with no flagpole by the people. They creus all the way. They was kron climbing like red neck spider Man that's going to cancelation.
I don't I don't want any party. Watch the Daily Show weeknight Central, earned Comedy Central, and stream food episodes anytime on Paramount US. This has been a Comedy Central podcast