Episode 118 - Multiple viewpoints & perspectives

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I am Brian Berneman, your host, and for this episode, it's a solid episode and we're going to explore a little bit the idea or the concept of holding multiple perspectives at the same time. So this has been one of the most fascinating. Topics for me.

I have been exploring this for the last 12, 13 years since I was introduced to the idea that in the 12th century, or perhaps it was in the 14th century, some Tibetan monks were actually exploring this idea of any time that they have a thought or a judgment about something, they will try to. Invite three different other perspectives for that same idea before they would actually come to a conclusion or say something. And I thought, That's so interesting because that's not what I used to do.

That's not what the majority of people do. We have a thought, a judgment. A lot of times we just share that. Whether we are right or not, whether we have thought about that from a lot of different perspectives or not. And I think that one of the keys for that for me is the understanding that I have my own perspective of life, right? I'm here, I'm talking, I'm seeing what I'm seeing. I'm seeing a microphone and seeing a computer.

But if someone would be even here just on the other side of this table looking at. Their perspective is already different, not only because they are standing in a different place or sitting in a different place, but also because they have their own lenses through which they are seeing the world. They have their own upbringing, their own cultural understandings, their own um, language, understanding the meanings that they have attached to different words, and that creates.

Unique perspective for each of us in life. So a lot of times when you know someone gives another person an advice, it's great. And also it might not be the advice for that person because that person operates in a different way. And I think that this is one of the interesting things as well of understanding how are we seeing life. The more that I started to. Explore my understanding of energy.

The more I started to understand that what I'm seeing is not just what's out there, so I can feel something even though I cannot really see it. So in that case, which one is true, what I am seeing or what I might be feeling? I have my hand here, my body, if I. Believe that there's skin here and this is something that is physical and that it has this forum in shape. I am right. And at the same time, I could say this doesn't exist and this has been proven scientifically.

This, if I go through a microscope here, there's no such thing as. All that there is is different particles and atoms and trons and electrons just moving at a super fast speed that makes it so that I might be experiencing it as something that is skin. So how can I experience at the same time both as real? And this is one of the things for me that is.

Interesting about this topic of holding the multiple perspectives, because this on an everyday life enables me to actually relax my narrow point of view that a lot of times I have and it enables me to just soften and to be able to allow for more than what I might be allowing at that moment. If I see something happening, I might not feel attacked because I can't hold the perspective of, oh, that person's actually going through something.

When many years ago I was driving, um, and I went to to see one of my teachers, and there was a lot of traffic and a lot of stuff happening. And someone else came late and she was like, Oh, this person's just, you know, like they were crazy and they almost created all of these accidents. And I was like super fuming about that. And my teachers like, Could you see us? Perhaps that person was having a baby and they were rushing to the hospital instead of complaining about them. Just seeing that.

Someone's experience was they were in an emergency and they needed to go fast. And that in a sense was hard for me because it enabled me to actually, what? I don't know exactly. I can hold that in compassion. I can hold other people's experiences on their actions with compassion because I have no idea. What has happened to them in their lives? What are the things that they learned and bring condition and programmed to do? And how we all do things is unique for ourselves.

So the more that I can allow, I don't have to agree with everything I can allow, and then I might be able to have conversations. This is. Critical for me with what's happening now in the world where there's so much separation, there's so much polarization, there's so many things that feel like everything is so pressing, and yes, they're pressing things.

Yet at the same time, we can meet with each other and we can see what are the views that we are holding, what are the world views that we are holding? How can we move forward in collaboration, in co-creation, in an understanding of the needs of everyone? This, for me, is super important for my wellbeing. I'm not getting as attached to certain ideas or thoughts or ways, and again, I don't have to agree with. How everybody else is doing it. I just need to find what's my way of doing things.

So understanding this is for me, that one size fits all doesn't exist. This is why with most people that I work with, I don't have like an ABC program. Everything is. Completely personalized to that person because that person is different than everybody else. So what works for that person is not going to be the same thing for that other person. So I cannot treat all of my clients as if they are the same. They all come to see me for a very different reason.

So this, I think that is important to understand and to allow and to be able to hold this different. Possibilities. At the same time, it's different views and lenses of what's happening. You know, I, I think that not everybody sees the same things, right? And I think that we all believe that we are, yet we are not. I remember when I was talking with someone and we were laying down. Um, on the grass, looking at the clouds on the sky. And, and I was saying something, you know, about my experience.

Um, my friend was like, What are you talking about? I was like talking about all of those lights and spheres of lights that I was seeing, which are the things that I usually. My friends, like there's nothing like between here and the clouds, there's nothing there. I'm like, Yes, there are like all of the time they are there. And my friends like, No, there isn't anything. And I started asking some other people and that wasn't their experience.

And I'm like, Well, I am seeing something there and most people are not. And this is some of the interesting things about that. It's like, well, I had no idea until that moment that that wasn't the. That people don't see the same things. And I find it really interesting that we believe that we do. We believe that we all understand the same thing. We believe that we all see the same thing, that we all see the same thing from the same lens, and that's where I feel like. We need to create space.

We need to create space for ourselves to notice if what I'm believing and judging, is it true? Where is that judgment coming from? And as well with others understanding and holding that space for that conversation, that understanding, creating the space for being like, What do you mean when you mean this? When you say this? Or what's your vision for this? Or what's your experience of this like?

To be able to have a basis or a foundation for understanding of what do we mean when we mean certain things? Because I could be sharing something about some struggles in my. And another person's struggles might be very different, and that doesn't negate one or the other. It's just they come from a very different place.

And the more that I understand this, again, as I said before, the more I can hold everyone in a place of compassion and love, because everybody's going through their own thing and in the space. Climate action or climate change. There's so many times that I see people pointing fingers and it's like, Yeah, I would like to see some changes. Of course. Yet those people are not. Evil people, the maturity of them are not doing things because they are evil.

It's because they are living within a perspective or a paradigm that they need to survive. So that means they need to amass the, the most amount of money empowered or whatever that is, that that looks like for them, and not taken to account how that might impact others or the environment. It's not that they are doing that because they are evil and they want to destroy everything. I mean, as far as I know that's not the case. I might be wrong.

Um, but that gives me a very different approach towards other people and towards what they are doing when they can understand the paradigm they've been living under. So the more that I can understand that, the more that I can meet them where they. And I do believe at the end of the day that everyone is a nice, kind, loving human being and they want the best for their lives.

And if they haven't been introduced to the idea of how their actions can impact the collective, they might not be thinking of that. So how can I approach them in a way that is going to be opening in a way that is going to actually live? To somewhere that is not me attacking them or not pointing fingers at them or judging them due to what they have been doing, because also I am not perfect, and they could be doing that about other aspects in my life.

So I believe that it's much more constructive to meet each other where we are. And to be able to see what are the things that we believe that are core values? What are the things that we see moving forward? What are the things that we can agree upon? What are the things that we don't believe the same or don't see to eye? And how come we allow all of that? And the more polarization there is.

The more this creates that separation and the more that everyone is so charged to go on bad heads against each other instead of allowing and creating space. And I know that yes, a lot of times, time is of the essence, yet creating more of that separation, I believe that that's not going to lead us to what we want. The more that, again, coming back to perspective, what are some perspectives that you are holding? What do you believe that might be? Some something rigid.

What are the places that you are either dogmatic or rigid or don't want to see that you have those blinders on and can only see one thing? I see sometimes some people that say, you know, like, Oh, I'm an introvert, or I'm an extrovert. It's like those labels are not helpful because we start to believe certain things about ourselves, and that doesn't necessarily mean that that's true. I have more introverted tendencies, yet that doesn't mean that I'm introverted. Yes, most of the time I might.

To want to spend my time by myself and do things at home. Yet, when I'm with other people, when I'm facilitating an event or a workshop or something like that, in that moment, I am not introverted, and that doesn't change the essence of who I am. It's the same person just showing up differently at different moments. So, What are some of those perspectives that you're holding that can be opposing and you hold both of them at the same time?

It's like this notion of, you know, we're living in this linear time, so there's this moment. Now there's the past, there's the future, and another perspective. There's no such thing as time. Or time is not linear. Time might be circular, spherical, however we want to see that. Which one is. Which one can I experience? Can I allow room for both or for multiple of them?

And I think that the more that we allow ourselves to do that, the more that we're going to get to the place of being more open, of being able to actually allow more of relaxing, of softening. And that is so good for our nervous system as well, because that creates that feeling. Oh, it's complex. Just melting.

So. I encourage you and I ask you to look into your life and to see what are those views or those perspectives that you're holding multiple ones at the same time, and perhaps at some moment you're choosing one. At some other moment you're choosing another one. What are the things that you feel like there's rigidity in your life, and what are those experiences that you feel like you can allow for more softening, whether that is within yourself or with.

I would love to know, I would love to know some more of your experiences with this amount of your perspectives, and where do you think that there's space for exploring even more? So thank you for listening. Uh, and I love once again to hear your thoughts on this and your comments. So I need worry that you're watching or see or listening to this episode. Let me know and we'll see you in the next episode. Have a beautiful rest of your day. Bye. What did you like the most about this episode?

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