The Connected Life - podcast cover

The Connected Life

Justin and Abi Stumvollwww.justinandabi.com
The Connected Life is a thought-provoking conversation about all the beautiful and messy ups and downs of life. Join Life Consultants Justin & Abi Stumvoll as they share vulnerable stories and practical wisdom that will lead you on a journey of connecting with yourself, others, and the world right in front of you. Their authentic, no-BS style will make you laugh, challenge you to dig deep, face your fears, and inspire you to love yourself and others more.
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Episodes

309: Relating to Humans 101

Do you ever dread talking to that “one person” at a social event? We’ve all been there. And, unknowingly, we’ve probably been that person at some point. While they didn’t teach this in school, learning how to relate to others is essential—and we’re here to help! In this episode, Justin and Abi address the social elephants in the room as they discuss seven keys to relating to humans that can drastically help you change how you relate to others. They discuss practical approaches, from how we gover...

Dec 02, 20241 hr 5 min

308: Body Based Healing

Few people imagine that their bodies play an instrumental role in the repair process on the journey to emotional wholeness. Most people see the body as a separate entity from everything else. Because of this, they can find themselves unnecessarily bumping into a glass ceiling for years. But what if that could all change? In this episode, Abi and Justin are joined by friend and fellow Life Consultant Rachel Hughes to discuss how integrating an understanding of your body and its nervous system can...

Nov 25, 20241 hr 5 min

307: Becoming Your Greatest Advocate

The secret to creating a fulfilled life often seems like a mystery everyone is searching for. We travel down countless paths, hoping to find something outside ourselves to quench an inner sense of dissatisfaction. But what if the answer we’re seeking is as close as the nearest mirror? In this episode, Justin and Abi dive into the power of personal reconciliation. Justin candidly shares his journey of realizing he was his own greatest enemy—and how becoming his own greatest advocate changed every...

Nov 18, 20241 hr 3 min

306: The One Thing That Changed Our Marriage Pt. 2

In part two of this powerful series, Abi and Justin unpack what it truly means to feel regulated—and why it matters in every relationship. Discover how partners co-create a shared nervous system that affects everyone involved and get practical, game-changing strategies for building a space of love and connection through self-regulation. Plus, listen in as they share real apologies, acknowledging the impact their own dysregulation has had on each other. Ready to transform your relationships? This...

Nov 11, 20241 hr 3 min

305: The One Thing That Changed Our Marriage Pt. 1

We’ve all been in situations where conflict slowly builds between us and someone else, only to find ourselves acting in ways we’re not proud of. Suddenly, we’re asking, “How did I get here, and how can I stop this from happening again?” Yet, we often repeat these cycles, unsure of how to break free. It’s challenging for everyone involved—but there are solutions! In part one of this two-part episode, Justin and Abi explore how our nervous system can throw a massive monkey wrench into relational d...

Nov 04, 20241 hr 4 min

304: Honoring Your Capacity

We're wired to seek love, approval, and affirmation—even when it pushes us to the breaking point. But what happens when life knocks you down so hard that performing is no longer an option? In this raw and eye-opening episode, Abi shares about her battle with PTSD and how it shattered her ability to keep up appearances. She dives into the toll of self-neglect, fueled by a 'can-do' attitude that led to burnout, and the pressure of maintaining a public image while struggling behind the scenes. From...

Oct 28, 20241 hr 2 min

303: Creating Relational Safety Pt. 2

In Part 2 of this series, Justin and Abi are once again joined by Johnny and Pietze for an in-depth look at secure functioning and the power of collaboration in creating a balanced partnership. Johnny and Pietze introduce a powerful alternative to "lawyering" called "microscopic truth," a way to communicate authentically and honestly that deepens connection and trust. They wrap up the conversation by discussing the importance of meeting each other's needs through a win-win approach and how fully...

Oct 21, 20241 hr 2 min

302: Creating Relational Safety Pt. 1

Creating a secure, lasting partnership with someone we love is A LOT of work! It can be especially difficult when we don’t have a roadmap. But don’t lose hope, we’ve got your back! In this episode, Justin and Abi are joined by their close friends Johnny and Pietze for a deep dive into the phases of a relationship. From the thrill of infatuation to the delicate dance of negotiating needs, they discuss the shift from codependence to interdependence and the importance of creating a collaborative re...

Oct 14, 202456 min

301: Boundaries with Kids

The battle between parents and their children is real! In many homes, parents either feel overrun by their kids, or they rule with an iron fist. But what if there was a way to create a balanced environment filled with mutual respect and love? In this episode, Habit Coach and friend Jenna Zint joins Abi and Justin for a deep dive into setting boundaries with your children and navigating the emotional challenges of parenthood. They discuss the common triggers parents face and how feelings of failu...

Oct 07, 20241 hr 3 min

300: Just Do the Next Right Thing

It’s common for people to ask, “What am I doing with my life?” There’s a natural curiosity within us that seeks to understand our purpose on earth. The journey to discover what we’re created for can often feel overwhelming, but maybe it doesn’t have to be so complicated. In this 300th episode, Abi and Justin reflect on the humble beginnings of their marriage and the daunting challenge of trying to figure everything out. They share their faith journey and the fears they had to confront to become ...

Sep 30, 202458 min

299: Great Minds Don’t Think Alike

You probably know or have met someone with ADD, ADHD, or autism—or maybe you’re one of those people. These neurological differences, known as neurodivergence, make up an estimated 15-20% of the population. Whether or not you fall into this category, it’s likely to impact your life, and we’re here to help you navigate it. In this episode, Abi and Justin sit down with their close friend, a fellow neurodivergent. Together, they share their journeys with neurodivergence, the impact it’s had on their...

Sep 23, 202459 min

298: Loving the Fantasy of Someone

It’s easy to fall in love with the idea of someone. The fantasy we create in our minds is often one of very few imperfections. Unfortunately, the perfect person only exists in our imagination. Building a relationship around a fantasy cannot only be disappointing, but it can be incredibly destructive. In this episode, Justin and Abi are joined by friend and fellow Life Consultant Rachel Hughes to discuss the world of relational fantasy known as limerence. They explore how fantasizing about who so...

Sep 16, 20241 hr 4 min

297: It Begins with Boundaries Pt. 2

In part two of this dialogue, Abi and Justin are once again joined by Habit Coach Jenna Zint to discuss the vital role boundaries play in fostering healthy relationships with yourself and others. Together, they tackle creative solutions for navigating seemingly powerless situations, eliminating blame and accusation in boundary setting, becoming self-aware of our patterns and triggers, and removing punishment from the process. They also explore how to create a balanced life through boundaries, av...

Sep 09, 20241 hr 6 min

296: It Begins with Boundaries Pt. 1

Boundaries has been a buzz word for a while now. As with any popularized emotional health tool, there have been wild misuses and misunderstandings of this deeply valuable concept. However, when used properly, boundaries can help create a thriving, connected life filled with love and respect for ourselves and others. In part one of this dialogue Justin and Abi sit down with Habit Coach Jenna Zint to discuss her strategic use of boundaries in her life. She opens up about how she gained confidence ...

Sep 02, 20241 hr

295: The Compassion Cure

Do you want to know a vital key to making your life better? It’s probably not what you think it is. Most of us believe that judging ourselves and others is a catalyst for change, but it’s quite the opposite. In fact, judgment can be the most damning opponent to experiencing a fulfilled life. But it doesn’t have to be that way. In this episode Justin and Abi are joined once again by their good friend Gabby to discuss compassion and its role in healing, growth, and enjoying life. They talk about t...

Aug 26, 202456 min

294: How to Win at Marriage

Nobody that’s been married will deny that it’s difficult. When we get together with another person, we’re faced with communication breakdowns, different cultural backgrounds, opposing value systems, and worst of all, having a mirror that shows us the messiness of our own heart. Though it’s tough, with a few keys, it can be a liberating experience for both parties. In this episode, long time friends Pietze and Johnny join Justin and Abi to discuss the ways taking personal ownership has been a gam...

Aug 19, 20241 hr 16 min

293: The Power of Facing Yourself

We all impact the world around us for better and for worse. It can feel difficult to take an honest look at ourselves and how we affect others, but what if self-reflection is the stepping stone to having the best experience of this life? In this episode, Justin and Abi discuss the reality of having to look at ourselves honestly. They explore the positive benefits this has on developing deeper connections, a heart of humility, and an abundant life experience. They also ponder how this might play ...

Aug 12, 20241 hr 1 min

292: Revolutionize Your Relationships with Honesty

Conflict isn’t fun for most of us. For many of us, we’d rather avoid it altogether. Since many of us haven’t seen it modeled well, it can often lead to further disruptions in relationships and seemingly make things worse. But what if we had a better understanding of its benefits and how to do it well? In this episode Gabby, a good friend of Abi and Justin, joins the conversation. Gabby shares about her journey of avoiding conflict, the impact it had on her life, and the brave tweaks she made in ...

Aug 05, 20241 hr 3 min

291: I Hate These Emotions!

Whether or not we’re aware of it, we all have emotions we don’t want to feel. Some of those emotions are so intolerable that we’ll do anything we can to avoid them. Unfortunately, avoiding these emotions won’t resolve them. It simply perpetuates them. But don’t fear, there’s hope to face them! In this episode, Justin and Abi are joined by their friend Ruth Outram, who is currently finishing her doctorate in Clinical Psychology. Together, they discuss the intolerable emotions we all have, where t...

Jul 29, 202456 min

290: Restoring the Masculine Soul

In today’s culture, masculinity has two predominant expressions on opposite ends of the spectrum. One expression is the dominant protector that views emotional health as weak. On the other end is the nonthreatening connector that avoids challenges at all costs. But what if there was an expression of masculinity that was a healthy blend of protector and connector? In this episode, Justin sits down with special guest Jeremy Morris, founder of Wild Courage. Jeremy shares stories of fostering a trib...

Jul 22, 20241 hr 4 min

289: Create Healthy Connection with Your Emotions

Emotions are an inescapable part of the human experience. As kids, these emotions are often judged, shut down, ignored, and stuffed until they can’t be dismissed any longer. We can demonize them and perpetuate a life of feeling alone and unloved, or we can embrace them and come alive. In this episode Justin and Abi discuss the impact of being disconnected from our emotions, the power of identifying and naming them, and how we can nurture ourselves through becoming interested in and understanding...

Jul 15, 20241 hr 2 min

288: Reparenting: Healing and Growing as Adults

As adults, most of us can reflect on our childhood and recognize that there are things we needed from our parents that they couldn’t provide. Some choose to deny that reality and live feeling a sense of missing something. Others get lost in the pain of what they didn’t get. But what if there was another option? In this episode, Justin and Abi explore the ways they missed out on crucial parenting experiences. They share simple yet profound steps they’ve taken to acknowledge their past and reparen...

Jul 08, 202455 min

287: Identify Your Trauma Response Pt. 2

In an ever growing culture of emotionally fragile people, it’s vital that we have conversations about the human condition in a way that’s educational and empowering. A better understanding of ourselves and others should develop a lifestyle of compassion and emotional resilience to life’s most difficult circumstances. In Part 2 of this two-part series, Justin and Abi continue the conversation around the 4F trauma responses fight, flight, freeze, and fawn. In this episode, they highlight flight an...

Jul 01, 202456 min

286: Identify Your Trauma Response Pt. 1

We’re often quick to believe that messy and destructive actions stem from poor character. Our judgments of ourselves and others usually lack curiosity and understanding. However, as we learn more about the human experience, we discover that many of our actions are trauma responses that, when properly addressed, can be healed. In Part 1 of this two-part series, Abi and Justin explore the four trauma responses: fight, flight, freeze, and fawn. These responses can unknowingly be at the core of some...

Jun 24, 202450 min

285: How Masculinity Affects All of Us with Danny Silk

The mandate on masculinity is to protect, provide, and connect. However, modern culture has slowly deviated from the path to becoming a man, creating a world of orphaned boys who lack accountability, transparency, and the exchange of truth. The result is a lack of courage, love, and safety. But is there hope for a course correction? In this episode, author and speaker Danny Silk joins the conversation. He opens up about his broken childhood, the healing he found in facing himself in marriage, an...

Jun 17, 20241 hr 2 min

284: The Fantasy of Fulfillment

An idea etched into the minds of many of us is that finding the right person will make us complete. From a young age, entertainment, religious traditions, and family cultures perpetuate this fantasy. Unfortunately, we often find ourselves years into a relationship feeling deceived. If another person can't fulfill us, what’s the point of a relationship? In this episode, Justin and Abi discuss the fantasy of being fulfilled through marriage, which wreaked havoc on their relationship. They openly s...

Jun 10, 20241 hr 12 min

283: Marriage: What We Wish We had Known

Marriage is not for the faint of heart. As two become one, it can feel more like two worlds colliding in unforeseen, catastrophic ways. Without healthy models and a supportive community, marriage can feel like a place where we go to waste away. But what if it was designed to be a place where we learn to come alive and thrive? In this episode, Justin and Abi celebrate their 16-year wedding anniversary. Stepping into another year, they sit down to share about the pitfalls they’ve faced and what th...

Jun 03, 20241 hr 2 min

282: Developing a Healthy Sense of Self

We’re all looking for acceptance, love, and connection. It’s no surprise that for many of us, it’s easy to suppress our opinions, beliefs, and desires, for the sake of fitting in. Having our autonomy, and sense of self, can create conflict and disconnection. But what if the price of blending in comes at the cost of living an authentic and fulfilled life? In this episode, Justin and Abi explore the impacts of an underdeveloped sense of self and how to healthily transition to a lifestyle of power ...

May 27, 202455 min

281: Creating Stability in Uncertainty

There is very little in life we can be totally certain of. The certainty we do have is often an illusion, much like control. When that illusion is shaken, many of us lose our sense of stability. We can quickly find ourselves feeling powerless to circumstances, but what if it’s possible to become confident in the most uncertain times? In this episode Justin and Abi share vital keys to creating stability in the craziest situations. They explain how embracing the reality that life is seasonal and i...

May 20, 202459 min

280: Making Peace with the Dead

It’s easy to bury the past, and the dead, in our hearts, but left unprocessed things can start rotting. The loss of those we loved, reviled, and were indifferent about can leave us with many unspoken and unresolved matters. But, what if it was possible to have much-needed hard conversations even when the person you’re dealing with is dead? In this episode, Justin and Abi discuss unique ways of approaching loss. They explore powerful moments of reconciliation with the dead through healthy reflect...

May 13, 202457 min
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