This week, Ryan does a bang-up hosting job, Captain Planet is still terrible, a thoughtful listener subscribes us to Instabang, we consider the weirdos that date below their league, trading cards are for dorks, monster trucks and demolition derbies are for insane people, we don't want other people's kids on our fridge, engagement photos are the worst, we deal with fans awkwardly, Boston sucks, holiday shopping for your parents sucks, wedding planning sucks, and 7-Eleven food sucks. Starring Scot...
Dec 06, 2013•1 hr 20 min
We forget to hit record, Anthony eats a whole pie for his birthday, Jaden Smith's Twitter account is insane, Brian sees a midget Rastafarian, Brian is an accidental racist at Starbucks, we talk about talking during sex, Anthony gets in touch with his Mexican side, we imagine some insane Christmas gifts for each other, Scott reveals a weird holiday tradition, Ryan is the manliest cast member, Ryan's dad is the world's manliest gamer, and we love on some terrible old video games. Starring Scott Br...
Nov 29, 2013•1 hr 39 min
We find out who's a nasty man, sex acts are like Doom weapons, Anthony expiration-dates a girl, we ponder the logistics of droid slavery, we discover Lindsay Lo Pan, our young selves discover that gay people exist, our shirts will get you laid (100% true story), and we recount the worst propositions from individuals who we were just desperate to avoid. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.
Nov 22, 2013•1 hr 5 min
Max takes his career back to the future (and explains his weird phobias), we do a boob tally, the Folsom Street Fair is weird, Ryan whips out the bully blinders, Brian is a closet depression eater, Ryan spins tales of his former criminal mastermind career, we're glad Blockbuster is finally gone, we learn some monster cereal facts straight from the source, we all totally would have been friends in high school, and making out is awesome (mostly). Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Ryan Scott, a...
Nov 15, 2013•1 hr
This week, we contemplate the idea of becoming actual Ghostbusters, we're still giant manbabies, Brian makes fun of tiny horses, Ryan would be the worst drug-purchaser ever, hangovers suck, getting older sucks, our childhood bullies' adult lives suck, and moving away from home rules. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.
Nov 09, 2013•1 hr 16 min
We hear stories from medical professionals, get wind of some weird STD news, talk about the stupid Power Rangers, bring up Brian's apparent archnemesis, make fun of cartoon theme songs, hear about Ryan's unwanted drug deal, get excited about Halloween, debate the merits of Twizzlers and Red Vines, move out of our parents' houses, get an update on Ryan's Renaissance Faire adventures, roll our eyes at disappointing educational field trips, discuss our favorite scary movies, and ponder the ramifica...
Nov 01, 2013•1 hr 16 min
In this 100th episode semi-spectacular, we count our blessings, weigh time spent playing video games vs. watching porn, discuss classy erotica habits, wonder if the cobra in our cobra booze is still alive, whine about public transportation, play "IKEA or Death Metal Band," talk fashion, break down our 6th grade sex lives, go all-in on guest Greg Miller's hard-won battle against cancer, reminisce about the dumb X-Men cartoon, and ponder how to get free beef jerky. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Al...
Oct 25, 2013•1 hr 26 min
This week, Anthony broadcasts from space, Max has a big announcement, we talk about whackin' (and not the mob kind), fast food travels through time, Max wants to be rotoscoped, pennies are still dumb, Ryan reads us some hot Amazon reviews, Game of Thrones is a ye olde porno, we speculate on Ryan's living conditions, we tally our couches battle scars, and we have some fun with Goosebumps story titles. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.
Oct 18, 2013•1 hr 11 min
This week, Anthony gets in touch with his inner Mexican, Star Trek is still dumb, Scott has a Donald Duck butt, we play "Racist or True," Brian encounters a time-traveling vagrant, Scott follows in Brian's footsteps, people sell some weird Grand Theft Auto-related merchandise on eBay, old video games are awesome, the Mile High Club might not actually be legal, E.T. is weird, Super Mario World is totally better than Donkey Kong Country, we discover that '80s funk is the prequel to gangster rap, w...
Oct 11, 2013•1 hr 19 min
Ryan's life gets disrupted by a chocolate factory burning to the ground, Lobo is the worst comic book character ever, Brian pops the question, we speculate on our continuing snail's-pace race to parenthood, we dish out some advice to a 27-year-old virgin, we speculate on which cast members would win in a fight, and a bunch of 30-year-olds try to understand what Tinder is. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.
Oct 04, 2013•1 hr 6 min
Anthony throws a penny whistle concert, we tell some cat tales, Anthony's becoming more of a bar regular than Norm from Cheers, '90s rap videos are insane, we get a letter from a juggalo, Brian has mile-high horror story, we shake our heads at comments on porn videos, a listener sends us some Swedish treats, Ironman is a scam, Anthony hits the sensory deprivation chamber, and huffing paint probably isn't the greatest idea in the world. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan...
Sep 27, 2013•1 hr 20 min
Ryan and Brian roll with San Francisco's craziest cab driver, Seattle gets collectively high, Anthony goes on a solo adventure, Max makes a very odd find at PAX Prime, the river man demands payment, we talk Exosquad, Ryan discusses his just-in-case-I-die preparations, we whine about how hard it used to be to get porn, we look at the hot new toy of 2013, and Cool Ryan Scott returns. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.
Sep 20, 2013•59 min
Ryan and Anthony go to PAX Prime 2013, the guys who make Halo apparently listen to our show, Max gets all muscular, Anthony has a white weekend, one public break-up gets very awkward, the ThunderCats are awesomely bad, He-Man is even worse, Anthony plays us a sweet song, the old Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and Batman toys are all kinds of insane, and Nickelodeon Gak is back. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.
Sep 13, 2013•1 hr 9 min
Anthony is absent again this week, and in his stead we learn the origins of one very politically incorrect term, Max gets confused by the concept of land ownership, Ryan hates on Harry Knowles (who still sucks even though his Kickstarter got funded after we recorded this), Brian wishes for a cool wheelchair, we recall our favorite (and least favorite) comedies, we recall the ghosts of Comedy Button past, and we remember Charlotte's Web's worst character. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Rya...
Sep 06, 2013•59 min
Max steps in for hosting duty in Anthony's absence, Scott has one of the most white-person weekends ever, we ponder making our own Weird Science girl, everyone really hates Guy Fieri, we introduce more reasons for you to give us money, we still aren't role models, we discuss fun things that couples can do while driving, we discuss the finer points of shaving, and the theme song to Nickelodeon Guts gets quite the unexpected cover. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville...
Aug 30, 2013•1 hr 3 min
Anthony vows to stop crime, Max films a completely unrelated crime, Zombie Studios is ground zero for an actual zombie apocalypse, mugging logistics are confusing, Anthony's cat looks like every other cat, people who leave their fortunes to their pets are stupid, dead man's treasure maps are the new hotness, Mad Libs temporarily get funny again, scientists relay all-new raccoon facts, we recall our biggest regrets, Brian goes there and back again, and we tell you what to do when your parents are...
Aug 23, 2013•1 hr 13 min
In this episode, we all try to live healthier lives, Ryan gets annoyed about Taco Bell breakfasts, we encounter the most confident woman in America, Brian asks for permission to get married, we review church on-air, Anthony finds a Seattle wingman, we share some sly girl-meeting tactics, we recall our favorite Comedy Button moments (so far), Ryan eats a very special lollipop, and Scott reports on Vidcon 2013. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville....
Aug 16, 2013•1 hr 26 min
In this very special episode, we analyze the Gotham City Police Department, learn about Seattle's real-life superhero squad, introduce some coworkers to the show, get AMBER Alerted, get rendered speechless by the hardest Tragedy Lever pull in the show's history (thanks Ryan), check back in with Cool Ryan Scott to lighten the mood, and work through our daddy issues. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.
Aug 09, 2013•58 min
Guest host Jack DeVries turns into Cool Ryan Scott, Anthony parties hard in Seattle, white girls love crying on curbs, we hear some San Diego Comic-Con stories, Max tells us about Hell Comes to Frog Town, Hawaii has sea turtles and mongooses, we still don't understand a woman's period, we recall our personal city-related trauma, and Brian and Anthony sing us a song. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Anthony Gallegos, and Max Scoville, with special guest Jack DeVries.
Aug 02, 2013•1 hr 12 min
Max has an important raccoon-related announcement, Brian had to babysit Jason Mewes, a listener (finally) sends in a great email, we explain how your nerdy hobbies don't impress women, Cool Ryan Scott pays us a visit, some guy pulls very weird pranks on his friends, some other guy almost joins the mile-high club, sleeping with your cousin is always a bad idea, summer vacation is awesome, and we get hot and heavy with our favorites JPG files. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Anthony Gallegos...
Jul 26, 2013•59 min
We learn that Anthony's been checking out his cat's unmentionables, check out the hot Seattle dating scene, hear about the nerdiest sleepover ever, hate on anime and Star Trek, make up fake movie descriptions for websites, meet the real-life Rat King, hear some taxi cab confessions, run into the world's biggest Galaga fan, and pitch an Iron Sheik documentary.
Jul 19, 2013•55 min
We find out what annoys Ryan's wife, confess to the stupid things we do out of habit, witness a hobo couple's $300 argument, meet the Jean Whisperer, relive Ryan's cartoon wedding day, get into arguments with our significant others, compare dog baths to something terrible, learn that our girlfriends don't care about the dumb Internet memes we try to show them, visit baby animal Vietnam, have Cola War flashbacks, talk about why drugs are bad, and recall our worst hangovers. Starring Scott Bromley...
Jul 12, 2013•57 min
This week, we spin the Comedy Button topic wheel, discuss Ryan's style (and what would happen if he found himself unexpectedly alone), marvel at Radford University's latest screw-up, report on San Francisco's gay pride parade, consider the idea of an Escape from San Francisco movie, hear all about Ryan's awesome dad, and learn a thing or two about game design. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.
Jul 05, 2013•51 min
This week, Anthony joins us from Seattle to tell us about his cat-sitter, we search Yelp for highway review scores, Anthony gets real job, we ponder some interesting puppetry, crack costs skyrocket, Max's girlfriend becomes an official mouth-doctor, the gang plays "Where's Ryan?" at E3, we talk spy tech, Brian races in the Malibu Grand Prix, we conclude that arcade ticket machines are the worst things ever, 90 percent of our emails are still bad, we send a 14-year-old on a scavenger hunt of doom...
Jun 21, 2013•1 hr 11 min
It's an all bangout episode! This week, we talk problems with the ol' IUD, guest host Jack DeVries' posterior prep work, Jack's Comedy Button crushes, being bad at sex, Back to the Future BJs, juggling hot dates, fake OkCupid profiles, messing with frat boys, watching porn, being horrible liars, having interests that women actually care about, and homeless pickup lines. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, and Max Scoville, with special guest Jack DeVries.
Jun 14, 2013•1 hr 22 min
In this episode, we wonder if we really need a theme song, conclude that Cops was an amazing show, rave about Lethal Enforcers and NARC, laugh at some pretty terrible undercover cops, get harassed at stores, witness some insane racial profiling at a movie theater, whine about wine, put stuff on the street for free, puzzle over feeding fetishes, racially profile fat people, discover a dead mole, read emails, and hear all about Ryan's new TV. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Anthony Gallegos,...
Jun 07, 2013•57 min
This week, we try (and fail) to give Ryan a new catchphrase, discover that people have no idea what we look like in real life, wonder what ever happened to Billy Zabka, learn that Max and his girlfriend have been together for three years and went on a hot date, hear about the dumb cartoon bar that Ryan wants to go to, receive presents from Germany (and have a mini-Alcoholocaust), take the ethnic candy taste test, marvel at how bonkers Amanda Bynes is, and answer a single email. Starring Scott Br...
May 31, 2013•53 min
We try and come up with new catchphrases, Ryan gets a cool new jacket, Anthony talks fleshlights, Brian sees a wind-something-not-filter-friendly, Anthony fails at surfing in Puerto Rico, Scott tricks a Japanese couple into driving him through a lava field, Max shows off his Totoro tattoo, Anthony finally figures out how OkCupid works (and breaks some serious rules), and we face a serious long-distance relationship. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scov...
May 24, 2013•57 min
In this episode, we read real raccoon facts, discover that tripping a person will give them a speech impediment, mess around at work, watch things fail, learn how awesome the Internet is, break down the top 25 horses in gaming, have some very bad accidents at a horse race, build cyborgs to fight each other, and wonder whether the real world is better than college. Starring Scott Bromley, Brian Altano, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.
May 17, 2013•53 min
This week, Ryan loves all women, we happen upon one defective San Francisco raver girl, Anthony goes on a group date, public Facebook profiles are serious problems, cartoon squirrels get all the action, Anthony gets ready to head to Puerto Rico, we take a bizarre detour into an Eastern European educational film, Scott's mom goes to Burning Man, Max puts his foot down about getting made fun of, and Ryan lusts after stupid old video games that no one cares about anymore. Starring Scott Bromley, Br...
May 10, 2013•1 hr 1 min
