hello everybody , welcome to the cologne podcast I'm mike and I'm ryan and we're two best friends . We're going on a fragrance journey , giving you fragrance opinions that are highly uneducated hell .
Yeah , you know why we're so goddamn hype is because today , you know me , your boy , it's in my top three , it's probably my top two and maybe my top one . Come on , yeah , it's a new Aqua Dejo . Aqua Dejo , that's right by Giorgio Armani .
This is the elixir . What's the full name of this ? Just hit them right by Giorgio Armani . This is the elixir . What's the full name of this ? Just hit them with it .
Giorgio Armani . Acqua Di Gio Elixir .
Oof and I've got a few reviews . They're short and sweet , so I just combined a few of them .
This is one of those ones that needs a couple of good reviews , right ? Oh for sure , yeah , little good reviews , right .
Yeah , oh for sure . Yeah , plenty of good ones . Yeah , alright , let's hear how excited everyone is about this fragrance , how good this fragrance is . Hell , yeah , come on . Beavis Bontz says I roll to infinity . Mmm LVC says aqua de poo and Squeeze Nose says this whole line should not exist in 2025 . Fuck you .
No , I'll tell you which one don't exist . That's that Armani Code . That one's garbage . Really , you're going to talk shit about Aqua De Geo , the compliment of compliment getters that I've worn my entire life .
You've gotten many a compliment . He's seen it , he's witnessed it in person . He seems to I seen it . I get pissed every time too . I'm like you , son of a bitch . I'm like they don't know . I'm wearing a ventus right now . You know that meme where it's like the guy in the corner . They don't know .
I'm wearing a vintage batch of aventus it has seriously been a staple in my collection . I've always rocked the edt for the longest time and then I moved on to the profumo right and then , of course , I discontinued that and I tried the parfum which is close enough to it .
We've had mixed reviews about this actually it's true , yeah , yeah , we've actually had a valued patreon write in about this I'm just gonna read it I wish you would we'll leave out the name , because I uh wrote this and then a couple weeks later they were like I'm sorry for giving you such a rant . Yeah I was like hey , it's fine .
He was like I think I'm crazy . I'm like no , we'll see . You're like maybe this gentleman said if you haven't tried aqua dejo elixir yet , may these words be the lube before armani bends you over . Oof . The best part of the whole damn thing is this atomizer . We don't have that . We got a little decant . The bottle feels like it's missing a key chain .
It's so damn small . We can absolutely attest to that . Yes , it is pathetically small .
It's a 50 mil bottle for 100 mil pricing , yeah , which we'll get into later in our price and popularity segment exactly , and so are its clackers , if it had any at all .
It smells good , but they could have done so much more with it . I'm not thinking it's the perfumer's fault . I think it's alberto morales oh yeah , that guy , because he's created some incredible things .
Most notably stuff for jeremy fragrance . Did he just do a new one for Jeremy ?
No , but in the past he did , oh , okay , yeah , jeremy's new one is like 600 bones . I was being cheeky .
What was it called Like super testosterone or something like that . Super , yeah , super sex the manliest , or something . I think yeah , something like that .
That's exactly what it the hell had Armani picked this one to go with . I'm so disappointed , damn it . Hope you have a better experience . Hell , I hope you love it .
Sorry for venting which , by the way , we love the vents you guys just vented up with us Send it our way .
Yeah , yeah , send the vents to us . And you know we had a community chat . If you're in the Patreon , you know all about it . If you're not , go there . We got a community chat . We've got five different chats that you can be a part of . By the way , yeah , I wish I could find it . Probably can't find it now . Why don't I ever prepare ?
Mike , this is you . Is that my weakness ? Is that my One of the many ? Yeah , is that my incredible Hulk trait ?
That's my thing . I'm . I'm never prepared . You know , maybe , when things actually need you to be prepared , you're not . But then you're so neurotic you're planning out 19 different scenarios that may never happen .
You're preparing your life for yeah , I don't ever understand that so this one I'll say out there because he posted in the community chat . So , followed by that , we eventually got this in our community chat . One of our listeners who's awesome and patron , stephen Dole , wrote I highly recommend this , at least a sample .
The price is the sticking point , but I managed to get mine for under 100 euros . This is right there with Perfumo to me , which I love , that one you do . I think the name Elixir throws some bad juju on this release . Oh no , but try it . Everyone I've shown it to in all caps here loves it . Oh OK , the online reviews are insane .
People just seem to want to dislike it . But this is a really good release and I will say the elixir name absolutely throws some bad juju on it yeah , it's just being overplayed right now literally , when we got this decant , we got like four or five other ones .
We showed you guys on the patreon , yeah , and there's like two more that have the elixir name on it , and the one that was the craziest was um god , what's the azaro one ?
yeah , the azaro is like how's like the most wanted forever by night , elixir supreme or something like that .
It's just this ridiculous yeah and we're like god damn , of course everybody's . It is annoying to hear that everybody's got the elixir . Yeah , so we'll see . That remains to be seen , but we need to get into our one night stand stop what I think we need to talk about this .
This is important . We talked about last episode and this is this . Is it exactly ? You remember last episode ? We were like , yeah , but we weren't super fanboys , weren't in love with the original to your own parfum . Yeah , so we're not upset that it is a departure . But you were like what if they reformulated lunarosa carbon ? How would you feel ?
And I was like , oh , I'd be fucking crushed . So how are you gonna feel about fragrance ? Because this is a beloved fragrance of yours .
Well , I mean , if it just feels like the Parfum or the Perfumo , I'll just be like I won't ever buy this , I'll just get those right , yeah . Now if it's just a straight up , redone to hell , to where it's unrecognizable , yeah , I'd probably be pretty pissed , especially at what we know the price point is for that little thing . You know what I mean , yeah .
So what do you think it is going to be like ?
I'm going in with an open mind and open heart . Really , I think it's going to be good . I really do .
I just don't feel the investment in you .
The only aqua dejo that I really don't like and I may get crucified here I don't like the profundo part of the line . Oh , I thought we smelled one and really liked it though I like light kind of the opening , the lights or whatever it's called . Yeah , I like kind of the opening , but I'm not really in love with it after that .
It's just like eh , it's okay .
Well , we'll get more into that after our one-night stand review of Dior's new Dior Home .
Parfum 2025 .
Hit the music .
Todd .
Yeah , home parfum 2025 hit the music todd .
Yeah , one night stand review . Well , ryan , after spending the night with dior home parfum 2025 what do you have to say about it ? You first , buddy , you know what . I actually liked it a lot . Yeah , I did too .
I liked it a lot and , true to what you're saying , we didn't have this huge investment into the past of it , right , so for us it was really good , pretty nice , yeah .
I have to say it was pretty damn nice . Yeah , it was well liked around the people that I've showed as well . So I think it's just our strong allegiances to the past .
Yeah , I don't think it's a bad thing , I think it's perfectly fine to kind of have these tetherings sentimentally to the past , yeah , but might be stifling your ability to really enjoy new shit absolutely and smell that because that's been on there .
What a week still strong .
So longevity is great and it smells good and it does remind me of dior home , that kind of line and stuff . Again , you guys can think whatever you want about us because , you're right , we're not the super knowledgeable , obsessed diorm guys .
Yeah , so we don't have that strong allegiance to it and because of that , you know , you may think that we're flawed in our opinion and that's okay , you know why ? Because fragrance is subjective and you shouldn't even care about what we think about it . You should smell it for yourself . 100 . You know what I hate seeing what ?
Yeah , I'll be on reddit and I'll see somebody in the rolex subreddit and they have just spent 17 000 on a watch . They send a picture and they go . What do we think about it ? Oh yeah , and I'm like , you just spent the money . Don't let somebody make you feel like a fool if you love it great , absolutely , especially if you spent that kind of money .
Why do ?
you care what other people think about something . If you like it , enjoy it . You know what I mean . But I I hate seeing that because inevitably some asshole out there , faceless internet handle is gonna trash it just to be a prick one day . And it's like don't set yourself up for that . If you fall in love with something , don't go shallow . How wants a gal ?
Just enjoy what you got .
By the way , do you think you're the one that got the compliment ? I think you're the one that got the compliment today , oh so .
Ryan and I . Well , I had to run some errands this morning . Ryan joined me and so we drive through the Starbucks , local Starbucks . You're driving , you're in the driver's seat , I'm driving yeah , big old truck .
We pull up identical drinks , he passes them and then , as we're leaving , the guy in the window goes hey , I really like that watch , it's a great looking watch .
Now Ryan's wearing an actual Rolex and I'm wearing like an $80 homage and I , because of that , in my mind , I just got always talking to you , ryan , and we kind of look , we both look back at the guy and everybody's confused and I just drive off . It was really awkward .
It was so awkward because I was like I can't tell if he's saying that to me or to ryan , and you said I think it was you , it was definitely you . And then I was like how does that make you feel you fucking loser ?
well , if I'd spent money on it , I guess I'd feel pretty bad , yeah so let me put that caveat out right . It was my dad dad's watch , yeah , and so and it is . It's a great . It's a great watch . Yeah , it's a beautiful watch and it's a highly sought after era of a Submariner .
But , that being said , that the watch that you wear always gets compliments and I don't wear this all the time . I'm always wearing my , my two-tone Pagani Right , we walk around Pagani bros with like $100 and under watches .
Yeah , but man , I've gotten so many compliments on this watch .
It's seriously a beautiful watch and funny enough to tell I know we're getting on watches for a second . Me and Mike were in Dallas the other day . We went to the scent room briefly and we stopped by . We have a chain here called HEB . We stopped by there and we've stopped by . We have a chain here called heb . We stopped by then we're checking out .
One of the guys bagging the groceries is wearing a nice watch yeah , and the cashier girl she's like is that real ?
talking to the guy bagging yeah , and he's like what do you mean ? It's ? It's a working watch . Yeah , she goes . Yeah , but is it real he goes ? What the hell are you talking about ? He's like it's a fossil watch . She's like he's like I'm bagging groceries at hub . You know what I mean . And I looked at and it's a .
It was a badass looking watch yeah , it's like that is a good looking watch but just like fragrances and everything else , it's all subjective right , you know .
Yeah , something smells great to one person and it smells like cat piss to someone else , which makes me wonder , ryan , is it a skip it , a sample it or a buy it for the new dior on parfum 2025 it's definitely a very hard sample to possible buy because smelling the test strip again , it smells really good . I really liked it .
Yeah , I'd love to have got to sample it more , but somebody spilt the shit out of it during our episode and so we only got the one wearing , unfortunately I will say this , though I still think your home intense for me , yeah , greatly edges it out just because I love that it has more of this lipstick thing kind of going on slash makeup bag , which I don't
know . There's something kind of sexy about that , you know .
Yeah , I mean , I really liked this one and I do want to try it some more , so I will call it a sample .
A good sample . Okay Well , mike , are you ready to smell Giorgio Armani Aquadesio Elixir ? Yes , please , let's do it .
All right , boy , you first .
Okay , I have come in naked today , with no fragrance on me . Oh , oh , wow , wow , oh . Not a fan ? Holy fuck . What the fuck is this ? I'm literally , if it's a look at this , going to make sure that it's right .
No , that's right huh , hmm , highly aquatic . Up front I was expecting more of like that spicy citrus that you kind of get from the profumo and stuff . Huh , it's a bit fresher . Yeah , I'll give it that . I mean , you know I'm not going to like it .
It jumped in aquatic so fast already I'm like kind of getting like kind of yeah , it's like it just dives right in Right . It does a deep dive right in . Oh no , what the hell ? You guys know me . I fucking hate this . I hate it on my me . I fucking hate this . I hate it on my skin . I absolutely hate it .
Whoever wrote me in the DMs ? You know who you are . You're not crazy . You might be the sanest person I've ever talked to .
I absolutely despise this fragrance .
I'm with you . This is not what I thought it would be . What did you think it was going to be ? I thought it was going to be that spicy , aqua digio citrusy kind of vibe that opens up . Yeah , that would have really something dark to it , like a dark grapefruity . Yeah , something right .
Yeah , this just kind of like dives right into aqua , right into aqua velvet . It's kind of hairspray slash , painy kind of smelling .
Now I don't get that . It does smell high quality to me , but it is so aquatic on my skin . Guys , if I tell you what I think it smells like we'd have to change the rating of this podcast . I'm serious To what , At least to NC-17 . And I know some of you guys are listening with your kids and I'm like trying to be mindful of that .
What the hell this is disturbing ? It smells weird , oh , it smells so weird on my skin . I'm angry . I'm genuinely angry , dude . So the gentleman that hooked us up from Dillard's we got His name was Landon Really nice guy , by the way Landon , really nice guy and he was saying he was getting tons of compliments on this . Yeah , he was .
He was wearing the hell out of . It is what he was saying .
And this isn't a diss at him . Hey , maybe it smells amazing on me .
Well , this is what I always say about you with Aqua De Jo is that you'll spray it and on you . Even when I smell it I'm like , oh , it smells good , but anytime I've sprayed it on me I've had a really hard time with it . I mean a really hard time . Go ahead , do you mind , please ? I won't spray another drop on me . You go right ahead .
I'm going to . I'm going to give this a fair shake . Give this a fair shake . I'm not happy with the opening .
But yeah , on you it always smells good , but on me , typically , it starts off really nice . There's the same thing that happened with what was that ? Versace Dylan Blue . Dylan Blue was great . Yeah , it starts off really nice , but then , whenever it gets aquatic , I'm like yuck , it smells like wet dog on my skin . Yeah , like pond water-ish .
Yuck , it smells like wet dog on my skin . Yeah , like pond water ish . This , this smells . Without being too graphic , they should call this aqua day secretions . Man , you feet as what . I don't think it's that bad . No , I'm like it takes a special kind of fetish for somebody to like this thing , at least on my skin . I'm serious , it's really bugging me .
Does it feel weaker too ? To me it feels weaker . Yeah , probably so . So there's a word I want to play to you guys . I feel like this just goes . This is what's happening with everything in society . Okay , I just so happen to be talking about today and of course we're getting this , and I feel like this fits what I'm talking about .
Oh , yeah , okay , but the word in shitification , in shitification , in shitification or crapification , big corporates like hey , we like this money , you think that's it , and they go . You know what ? What if we made this crappier and we charged them more ? These dumb fucks love giving us all their money .
Here we go . Conspiracy hats ablaze .
And that leads me to my price and popularity price 160 for 1.7 . That is a lot and the bottle looks ridiculous oh , I kind of like it .
Oh , it looks cheap . It looks there's a magnetic cap on it , though it's not I kind of like it .
I hate it a lot . I liked it . Rating on this bad boy . I'm terrified . You think that everybody's going to prove you wrong ? Say it smells fucking amazing Mike .
I don't care about that . I smell what I smell , but I'm gonna be absolutely shocked if it's a high number , though .
Well , get ready , mike , because if you go to free grantica , they gave it a whopping 3.86 out of a possible five damn , that's relatively high .
You think that's high ? Yeah , for how mid ? Well , no , mid would be around the 2.5 ish . Hmm , this is like I would tell you what I'd rate this right now .
Sub ones it's missing the spicy or someone's missing something . It doesn't kick off with something fun . Yeah , it just gets down to the , to the sack . You know what I'm saying ?
and out of it . That is not good . Vote with your wallets , folks . Yeah , you could do that . Vote with your wallets . Vote for the enchitification I'm tired of it Of Giorgio Armani hey guys , do you hate those greasy fucking cable guys ?
You want to save a lot of fucking money . You , fucking loser . Hey , try this online stuff . It's real cheap Five dollars Streaming yeah .
And then you know what ? Then it's no longer . You get all the channels . It's like now you're paying individually and then you go , god it .
It costs more than cable to do this now yeah , hey , remember when we just were like , hey , we can go to one spot blockbuster and just go rent the movie we want it , you know . Now it's like you got to go who has it ? Oh no , it's not on tubi , it's not on neti , it's not on Netflix . Shudder has it . I don't have a Shudder account .
I got to fucking subscribe to Shudder to watch this dumbass movie . That's mid . Yeah , guys , this fragrance . I'm going to say this one caveat here it smells pretty decent on me right now , but it is like it skips all the fun part of what makes the aqua dejo line to me yeah , I wouldn't look when I smell it on the card .
It's not bad . It's not like blowing my mind , which I guess I really wouldn't expect that from you know . Run-of-the-mill designer type thing , yeah , but on my skin I don't know what my skin does with aquatics . It just goes nuts , it does some wild shit to it , which makes me wonder like what do I smell ?
Like while I'm like hanging out in a pool , like I probably smell terrible . I'm kind of worried about that now . I never thought about that before this point .
I'm in trouble do you don't think this smells a little hairspray , like a little something there ?
yeah , I can kind of . I definitely get it on the skin . It smells like hairspray and semen .
If I'm being real , me it's like hairspray and wet dog on the card , though . I mean , it's like obviously it has a decent smell to it , but it's like it's covering that up , you know ? Yeah , yeah , I get what you're saying .
On the card . It smells citrusy , tiny bit floral . It smells kind of feminine , right . Hmm , it smells light . I don't know if I'd go full feminine , but it leans more towards the center .
It's definitely unisex . I think this is strictly for men , by the way .
Yeah , women , I don't think you guys are allowed to use this .
Yeah , this one is strictly for men , but I would say this is kind of unisex isn't that what landon said ?
like ladies have come up to try to buy it as gifts and they've been like not even allowed to buy it because it's strictly for men .
Really , no , I'm just like I'm like what the fuck are you telling me right now some ?
sexist shit's going to .
You're like , oh hell no god damn who would wear this . Just , I mean besideson , look , you probably don't even listen to the goddamn show . But no , buddy , you're a nice looking young man , you can get away with this shit . I can't , right , I can't get away wearing this . No , no , you can't , I can't . What the hell did they do with this ?
It's like if it could get to this part later , I'd probably I'd probably still not be vibing it harder , but I at least , like I don't know , might ride the ride , the wave here a little bit , but like it doesn't have that signature aqua digio opening , and that bothers me . For that price point , yeah , are you gonna skip it , sample it or buy it ?
What are you gonna do ? Ryan , this is sadly the easiest skip of an aqua dejo I could ever give and that really breaks my heart because I have been pining over this . Yeah , mike's seeing me . He mentions aqua deez .
You , I'm pleaded up yeah , he's like been pacing circles around the studio hunched over .
Yeah , just waiting . We finally show up to the store and it's there . I gotta go to take it . You know , I'm like fucking happy we rushed back . We still had to wait a couple days , and so the anticipation has been killing me . It's like christmas fucking day .
This is like your tonka 25 moment , I guess . So , man , yeah this shit man yeah , oh god , on the skin . This is absolutely terrible for me I don't know .
Does it smell bad on me ? I can't smell it on you ?
No , it smells so different . It smells clean and kind of soapy almost . Yeah , that's interesting .
It does smell funky on you . What is your skin ? I'm not going swimming with you , dude . Yeah , exactly .
What the hell you guys haven't told me about this ? I smell like a freaking loogie the whole time . Well , what do you think you're gonna buy this bad boy ? So skip , if there's ever been a skip .
Oh my god , that is a shame . Wow , man , so disappointing . Hey look , and this isn't a knock on the perfumer . Hey look , dudes like you can't hit a home run every time . You know what I'm saying . It's just not going to happen . Well , I mean , look , he probably did what they asked him to do Exactly and got paid a lot of money .
That's all this is to you . Huh , this is a big old money grab .
God damn , I mean not necessarily for him , but come on , dude , it's bad enough . I gotta put out our money code shit . Then you're gonna put this out on me .
I'm pissed , dude yeah , it's a tough one , man , that is absolutely bonkers guys , I really wish that this could have been better .
I mean I know some people will probably enjoy the entertainment of it sucking and me being like super pissed , but honestly , like I'm not a fan when stuff sucks , especially when I want to be good .
This is really the only way I know that we could make content about something we didn't like is to start off and not know we're not going to like it . About something we didn't like is to start off and not know we're not going to like it .
But I do see people in the fragrance community get so pissed that YouTubers are making videos and everything they love and it's like yeah , why would you make a video unless you were just extremely disgruntled , like Robes08 ? Why would you make a video about something you don't like ? It takes a lot of time and a lot of effort , Robes .
I don't want the heat bro .
I'm bringing the heat I really don't care yeah I don't believe in you robes .
I'm a robes yift . How would you say that ? Either way , I just don't believe . I don't believe he exists , honestly , oh shit this .
What a wank fest dude . This is like are you shitting me right now ?
that's so funny because we've got . This isn't really a reformulation , this is a new thing .
But you know , we had the previous episode and then we have this one and I almost thought we would go the opposite way on the last one and be like really pumped on this one and it's flipped , yeah I kind of thought so too actually yeah , wow , oh man , I will probably never spray this fragrance again oh , this will be the last day I ever wear it .
Yeah , hands down . I just laced up the rest of it on me because we're going to go shoot some pool later , yep .
Yep , yep . We're going over to a friend's house . He's got a new pool table , mm-hmm , and he's just begging to get his ass kicked .
We'll report back .
Last time we bragged to this guy we could whoop his ass , and then he's like I haven't played pool in 10 years . Yeah , hey , mop the fucking floor with us too .
It's just like not even hardly paying attention yeah , and we're like we've had our pool sticks for a week .
We're better , yeah , and we were sweating the whole time . We're like busting out abacus and shit like that and the protractors trying to hit and he's just like casually walking up and sinking and , dude , he freaking busted our balls by the way , before you get out of here , I have to give a shout out if they stayed here long enough .
Ben , if you're listening hi , yeah , did you get a tally on how many F words Ryan said ?
We found out one of our listeners , like my kid , who's a grown kid , was like he's always like count down how long it takes for her I drop an F bomb and he likes to talk about Marvel Rivals . By the way , ben , I just picked up , started learning Loki , one of the harder characters to play , kind of fun .
If you haven't tried that , you should .
Hey , and kind of fun .
If you haven't tried that , you should hey . And if you guys like spongebob , yeah , we're about to do uh , one of our patrons .
He's the medias of clackers in there . That's right . Yeah , only one spot . Yes to the king . You are king , sir . He gave us , uh , three juicy bottles of oday spongebob , oday patrick , starfish word . You know why is it that you can do all the impressions of all these , these characters , o'day Spongebob , o'day Patrick Starfish , squidward . Why is it that ?
you can do all the impressions of all these characters . Did you just watch the shit out of it or something ? Oh , dude , I did watch quite a bit growing up . Yeah , spongebob .
But if you're a patron and you have some kids of the age that would like one of these bottles , let us know . We've already mentioned it already in the patron patreon . But if you get into the patreon , you have some kids ?
let us know . Uh , we're going to give these bottles away after we smell them . We'll pick , uh , three lucky winners . Yeah , and , like we said earlier , we've got community chats . If you're looking for a nice positive corner in the fragrance community , we have five different chats . We've got our regular community chat .
We've got a chat about home fragrance , if you're looking to make your house smell good . We've got a scent of the day area . We've got a health and fitness area and then we've got like a buy , sell , trade area . So if you want somebody that you can trust , that you want to buy , sell or trade fragrances , that's a great place to go .
Also , there's a few guys in there that are really good about finding stuff . So if you're hunting for not only just fragrances that are out there , but maybe some vintage stuff that you haven't seen in a while , ryan King , meaty Clackers , hooked you up to help you find a vintage bottle of the fragrance that your dad used to wear .
So it's more than just bonus episodes in the Patreon , it's a community , yeah .
The community is some of the best part it's for so much it's beyond anything we could have originally imagined . I think , yeah , it's way better than this fragrance ? Without even question .
Yeah , so you could spend a hundred and some odd bucks on that , or starting at six dollars a month , you can become become a Patreon , and until next time , spray it up y'all .