¶ Intro
hello , ladies and gentlemen , welcome to the cologne podcast .
I'm mike , I'm ryan . We're two best friends . We're going on a fragrance journey , smelling brand new tom ford's again , yeah , and giving you uneducated opinions .
We have a brand spanking new fragrance from tom ford sent to us by Patreon . That's right , jonathan bleep . Let me tell you we're really excited but also kind of perplexed about this fragrance . Out the gate , before we started the show , mike goes what's the story ? God , what's the story ? Yeah , and I was like I really don't know ?
Yeah , cause that's the thing In the past we've fallen in love with . We said the same thing about Raja Dove In the past .
We would get this fragrance from Tom Ford and there'd be something behind it , there'd be a memory , or you know , we can play the recording , but he's talking about ombre leather and how it's tied to his past growing up in New Mexico and Texas . Like you know , it's tied to his past growing up in New Mexico and Texas .
Like you know , it was tied to parts of his life . In fact , just you know what Hit it , baby , hit this . Listen to this inspiration of Fragrance by
¶ Tom Ford Talks Fragrance
Tom Ford .
Scent is a very personal thing . I have always had an obsession with scent and I can remember that ever since I was a child I was obsessed with the smell of things . Fragrance is something that I am intensely passionate about and I have worn fragrance for as long as I can remember .
I can remember perfectly every fragrance that I have worn throughout my life and exactly where I was and what I was doing . Weird flex , tom Scent . Memory is one of the great pleasures in life that people who don't like perfume will never experience . Since my very first Tom Ford fragrance Black Orchid every element of every creation has had to be perfect .
Some scents explicitly capture real aspects of my life . For example , every note of ombre leather is connected to the American West of my childhood . Naturally , fashion has informed many fragrances . Grey Vetiver is an extension of the sharp tailoring of a made-to-measure suit . Or how an undone tie at the end of a night evokes the decadent man of noir extreme .
The Private Blend Collection is an experiment without constraint . There are no rules or conventions that limit what a scent can be . An audacious red lip can inspire a scent like jasmine rouge . Or I can capture the rich atmosphere of a gentleman's lounge with tobacco , vanille . I always try to create truly original , uncompromised scents .
I am honored not only that my stories have been heard , but that they have been loved and celebrated . And there are many more to tell Tom Ford .
Dude , what a phenomenal piece of work . Just that that inspired me . We got done watching that and I go . My God damn , I want to go smell every Tom Ford fragrance right now , right , not just smell .
You said I want to go buy , yeah , I want to buy this .
¶ Story in Fragrances
And that's the point . It's like what is the story ? So we were digging through looking for Black Clacker . Like what is the story ? So we were digging through looking for Black Clacker , what's the story behind it ? Because even he says I'm so glad that I've been able to tell my stories through these fragrances and there's so many more stories to tell .
Yet all I get is and look , the notes look badass , they look crazy good .
Ink and vinyl record on the top note .
I'm down , so it's like , but what is the story behind it ? Maybe I'm just wanting too much ?
No , no , you're not because Tom Ford's wanting too much . Let me tell you the price of this . They're wanting $1,250 for 250 ml of this and yet there's no substance out there to tell you what to expect . There's nothing inspiring out there to tell you that you need to go out here and smell it .
And it's kind of disappointing because the name is badass Black Lacquer , yeah .
The bottle .
The coolest name Is the coolest name and the bottle is murdered out guys it looks sick .
It does look sick and here's some positive words for it . Okay , from Frank R Rancica , the track enthusiast says I love this . It's dark , heavy , resinous and fucking masculine , which I kind of want . Black Lacquer does have like a very masculine . Oh yeah , I mean , what do you think just from the name , before we even talk about the notes ?
What do you think just from the name , before we even talk about the notes ? What do you think from the name ?
it's going to smell like From the name and the picture that they have on his website . They have it like . It looks like black paint just poured all over , it's just sitting in black paint and when you look at the notes it's got woody notes . Whatever , oakwood , who cares .
But I'm going to tell you when I think of black lacquer hopefully this is what it smells like , because it would be a great , as he said , a great scent memory , and this would be a great one for me . My brother and dad built . They were builders , they built houses , they were partners , they owned their own company my entire life .
So I know that smell of a new build . That so I know that smell of a new build . It's why I love Dior Fahrenheit . It's gasoline but it's sheetrock . It has that vibe . I will always love that fragrance .
So this I'm thinking Because I'm sure you remember as a child walking through some of these new builds . They don't even have the flooring put down , it's just a sheetrock is up . You're walking through the shell of a new house with your family .
I will always love that smell . I can walk into any new house . I'm like I just want to live here . It's got that new car smell .
Until it's not new anymore .
So when I'm thinking of this , I'm thinking black lacquer makes me think of paint and maybe cabinets .
Okay .
Yeah , so I'm thinking wood and paint and honestly , that will be such a great smell If it's that it's going to be a win for me .
Yeah , probably still going to be high , but we'll see . When I think of lacquer , I think of my parents , who were both mechanics . Yeah , rebuilding cars , I'm thinking of painting . Even now my dad restores old motorcycles . He does the paint jobs on them and stuff like that .
So like going over visiting , smelling that sort of a thing , yeah , and even making my own guitars and painting those . You know , every one of them looked like a van halen guitar for a long time . Did you ever ?
put a punisher sticker or something on your guitars , okay , I feel like so many kids did that in their young no I mean , I thought the punisher skull was cool looking .
I think snazzy , yeah , he had a punisher skull in his on his car . Not only that , but his , because we talked . We were both think snazzy , yeah , he had a punisher skull in his on his car . Not only that , but his , because we talked . We were both sorry snazzy .
We're both friends with snazzy at different points of our lives and snazzy had this old beat-up car where the tent was like peeling off the windows . It was a fox body mustang , yeah yeah and he would cut different designs into the tent and pull it off . So he had , like all these Punisher skulls that he had cut out into the tent on his windows .
What a loser .
Hey , he may be a loser , but I'm about to say one good thing about him . I messaged him the other day yeah , I'm just kidding , I love you , snazzy . He does . I'm going to read this real quick . I know this is getting off subject , guys , but it's our fucking podcast . I'll talk about whatever I fucking want . Yeah , okay ,
¶ Ryan Talks about My Dick
the other day I just randomly thought about it and you're going to love this and I messaged him . I said Shit . I said , hey , I know I asked before , but what was the band camp link to the guy who changed all the songs to ?
be about his dick .
I'm gonna have the link in the description . He fulfilled the request . I listened to a few of them . They're freaking amazing everybody my dick . Look , as childish as this sounds , this guy did an album of just like the best pop hits of all time from like the 70s till now , right , and he just made them all about his dick , but did him really professionally .
There's going to be a link in the description , but also audibly say it it's my dick . Band dot bandcampcom it's worth a listen for sure , as snazzy said , it's only the greatest album of all time .
Yeah , and just so you know , snazzy's favorite track on there is called fast dick is that taking us back to where you were talking about tracy chapman's riding in car with boys , I think so .
You got a fast .
Just trust me , check it out now .
Yeah , back to the show . It's one of those what in the actual fuck am I listening to which sounds eerily similar to this Fregrantic review by Shiam , who says what in the actual fuck did I just spray on my skin , referring to black lacquer , and Ali Minaj says yeah , girl , please .
Well , I mean the other guy . It sounds like maybe this will be the more of an experimental fragrance I might be getting my wish . It may be like painting wood man it very well could .
And you know what ? Why don't we just dig right in ? Let's do it .
¶ Scent of the Day: Black Lacquer
We are seriously pumped for this . Jonathan Bleep , you're fucking amazing for sending us this . You're hired . Oh God , seriously pumped for this jonathan bleep , you're fucking amazing for sending us this .
You're hired , oh god , wow , that is quite a bit more resinous than I expected .
Yeah and woodsy , this is fucking phenomenal , god . Is this why Tom Ford's like I don't need to fucking put a fucking video out . I can just throw this out there and ask for 1250 .
Maybe you make up your own story .
Fuck . First off tester strip , Absolutely knocked it out of the park . It is brand new cabinets with some fresh fucking lacquer on it . Dude , this shit smells masculine as fuck to me .
Fuck me to tears On the skin . It kind of has like a amouage . I'll never be able to say that guys , Amouage , amouage , amouage , like , like who cares ?
come on , guys , for real , yeah nikki said medicinal which , by the way , I had a lot of great reviews coming back off that episode absolutely , and don't worry , guys , we told her all the good news that you guys laid upon her and she loved hearing all the compliments . She's coming back .
Don't worry , I don't have to carry this podcast on my broad shoulders anymore .
Fuck y'all Dude On the skin . It's definitely a little bit gnarly . I'm not too keen to it , like I am the tester strip , but I'm going to tell you , on your clothes , the tester strip , this shit be badass .
It definitely has that almost oody type wood vibe to it . It's like a little skanky . It does have like the dry almost sawdusty type vibe to it .
Yes , this is a , this is a working man's fragrance right here , dude . Yeah , god damn , for real .
I just somehow somewhat disappointed that he didn't really hype this up more or put something to this and give us more story to this it's like the lumber section of lowes right now dude , it's fucking sick , which , by the way , your boy used to work for a certain company .
We won , won't call it Lowe's Home improvement store .
Yeah , we won't say that I did a little lumberjacking in my day .
I bet you did .
Did a little delivery of some side-by-side refrigerators . Yours truly would carry it on his fucking back .
Dang yeah , that's what I was in shape .
You were delivering lots of wood to people when the old women would pull up and want me to load up some wood into their back hatch dude .
Oh yeah , I crammed them in there , dude you were cramming them right in One by twos and whatnot . Yeah , and I'd go . Thanks , sweetie , yeah , oh you know , shorty , yeah .
Dude , I'm fucking loving this fragrance and it's depressing because I will never be able to afford this shit , yeah .
God damn , you won't go , mike's fucking fabulous way .
I don't think they even offer that on this , do they ? I don't think I saw that on the website . I doubt it . Yeah , the 50 ml of this is $405 .
Jesus , yeah , you're going to have to go to specific decanting websites .
Yeah , very specific decanting websites .
Which I mentioned this on a video . But , Jonathan Bleep , is that what you're working on ? Because if you are , we got to know about it .
Yeah , he definitely packages the stuff pretty damn well . I mean , it's sealed , nice . I mean , did you have to tear into this to get into it or did it open ? No , I think you just pop it up . Yeah , I'm a fan of it .
Man , jonathan bleeped seriously at him and I think , a couple of his brother's stuff which , by the way , his brother misspelled your name in the Patreon what , yeah ? And Jonathan came on , glued on him in it . He said his name has a Y in it , you fucking asshole . He was like get his name right .
By the way , if you're not a patron , I don't know if this video is aired yet . If it has what Mike said , fuck you , join it . It's fun , there's good people in there , great vibes . Now back to this . This fragrance is fucking sick dude . Yeah , this is genuinely one sick dude . Yeah , this is genuinely one that has it just blew my fucking doors open .
Not going to lie A little skanky on the skin .
It is skanky .
Still a little bit much to me , but I'm assuming it's going to dry down much too , as it is on the card , and that card is fantastic . I have smelled something like this before , though . Oh have you . Yeah , it's familiar . I can't put my finger on it , but I know we've smelled something like this .
I wonder if it's kind of similar to Dior Fahrenheit a little bit .
I'd have to smell that again . I don't think so . I am thinking this is like some sort of MOY type vibe .
Well , do you know who's wearing it ? Because , type vibe . Well , do you
¶ Who's Wearing This
know who's wearing it ? Because I have a pretty good idea . Hit them with it , todd . Just go ahead and cue the dream music . It's real early in the morning . They just put on their steel-toed work boots before anything else .
They're one of those guys , yeah .
They're walking around . They're walking around their single wide .
And nothing but still-toed brown work boots , because he spent all his money on this fragrance .
And after he's done , made him some eggs , bacon and sausage , gets him a nice girthy breakfast . He throws on a flannel with a white t-shirt underneath it . Okay , tucked into his work pants , big ass Batman belt around him , but it's got , you know , tools on it .
It's got DeWalt on it .
The man has this he has that flannel rolled up to about midway , you know , above the elbow there , oh yeah . And he's got forearms as big as some dude's calves and he's got mittens like Rob . What's his fucking name ? Oh , the arm wrestling guy , no , no , no , that's Devin Lariat . Okay , you know what fuck it .
Yeah , I was gonna say the guy that the tight end that caught for tom brady can't remember . Why can't I think of his name ? Rob gronskowski . What's this ? Oh , gronkowski , yeah , gronk dude , that fucking guy has some fuck . He made a fucking football look like a goddamn like golf ball , but anyway , yeah , he's a massive dude . He is .
But this guy he's got hands like gronkowski , gronkowski or devon lariat , if you're a norm wrestling fan . And he is hammering nails all day long , yeah , and you hear the buzz saws going . He's fucking , it's a carpenter dude . They're making fresh brand . They're not bringing cabinets from Lowe's , they're hand building them inside the fucking the house .
Made to order , made to fucking order . And it's all american , made super heavy , real thick , and it'll last all night .
I mean , it'll last forever , yeah sorry to the 27 of our uk listeners , but it's made in america that's who's wearing this man .
This is a man's man's fragrance . Dude , this shit is sick . I love it , I fucking love it . It's good it is pretty manly , I will give it that it is so manly in the best way . Guys , I'm shocked . I'm shocked . This is just like it's here .
It's like the eros energy release are times this bad that the fragrance companies are charging these outrageous prices , but they just can't put any type of media kit together for it .
Oh , man , it's because we got influencers on the bleeding edge doing this type of thing . Good , because if you honestly look for an official release video from a lot of these brands , you can't hardly find one . A lot of it is just covered by fragrance reviewers online .
Good Lord , hey look , there's shilling money out there . Where the fuck is it ?
I don't think that Tom Ford's spending money on that . I don't think so either . I'd be shocked if people are getting free bottles of this stuff . Probably not .
This is fucking amazing , though , but I do have to say shame on and I'm going to put the other one in there too . Shame on Tom Ford , Shame on Roger Dove . Yeah , guys , we really did admire the fact that you lived and breathed a little bit .
Maybe you've gotten older , maybe you just don't want to be in the limelight , but there's something to having that connection to the perfumer or to the brand person , whatever . Yeah , it's nice man , that video that he did . That is badass .
That makes me want to fucking and inspiring Dude absolutely . It makes you want to love fragrances , Even at one point . He's like the scent . Memories are something that people who don't love fragrances are unfortunately missing out . On those connections , Huge .
And it's so true , yeah , so true . Okay , price and popularity .
¶ Price and Popularity
Well , I told you guys , 50 ml of this is going to run you about 405 bucks . Then I think it goes to 250 . And you're looking at , I mean , yeah , it goes to 250 .
Like a huge decanter .
Yeah , decanter , You're looking at about $1,250 . That's a lot of money . Popularity it's still brand new Only 246 votes . 3.8 out of 5 .
I think it'll go up , I think it'll go up .
I'm going to tell you this price-wise it's out of control . I don't even know if this really technically should be that . Much to be real with you .
Yeah , In fact the first comment underneath this magnum opus , minute 50 seconds , talking about scent memories and all that stuff . Madfrog88 says prices are getting ridiculous and then the mad face .
It's a top comment , it's true , true , though , and it is so true , so true . Yeah , they're asking a lot for this , yeah . So I gotta ask you are you gonna skip it ?
sample it or buy it .
¶ Skip it, Sample it, Buy it
What are you gonna do , ryan ?
I tell , as old as time , mike . There are moments like this where I really fucking love something . If I had the money . Yeah , and guys , I am being truthful , I do not have the money for this . $1,250 would be the route to go , not a guess . I guess you could get away with a $50,000 , but I want to really wear this .
I don't think I can just $50,000 go quick with me .
You couldn't go to you know jonathan bleepcom , and get you a 10 mil decant to this that really should be your website , jonathan for real . Hey , honestly , you're looking for partners to start a decanting site . You know we got nearly 300 episodes of us passionately promoting decanting and sampling you . Let us know , jonathanbleepcom .
I will say I would buy this if I had the money . I just don't have the money , yeah , but I would buy this shit . I guess as it stands technically , I have to say sample I would sample the fuck out of this .
Yeah , I would sample this long and hard into the evening . I fucking love it dude , it's good man , that sawdusty vibe to it . I do think if you're wearing it it's going to catch some attention .
Dude , this thing is masculine . I feel like if you were like , you know , there are those type of guys who can wear flannel , kind of dressed up . You know what I'm saying ? Yeah , for sure , we kind of we skipped this , but like , what kind of age demographic this is ?
I feel like this is actually a young , not young 20s , but like I would say , late 20s , early 30s and up . But I think somebody like that who's got , you know they got the facial hair , but they trim it every wednesday . Apparently that's me . Uh , they got , you know they got a flannel , but it looks nice .
It's like it goes with their , you know their vibe .
Their hair's that messy , not messy , yeah you're thinking of , like um the property brothers , yeah , something like that like you're gonna smell fucking good .
They're like god damn , he smells good , but kind of manly , like he just worked on something you know yeah , for I think it's more playful .
I think it's a little more on the mature side . I'm going to say 35 and up . Really , yeah , I feel like this has got a little bit too much maturity for the younger guys . Y'all need something a little bit more on the playful side .
Throw some citrus in with them . Woods for you younger cats , by the way . $2 255 for 30 ml of this from tom ford 255 bucks , yeah for 30 ml .
God , yeah , it's rough dude it's rough .
I think the prices are a little higher . I mean , as much as I can love this sorry , tommy yeah this is the private blend by tom ford yeah , but what is you know in the thing ? Private blend is like there's no limits to what they can make .
Sure , Right , yeah , so , and now we have a lot of Private Blends that have been come into , I think what they call the Signature Collection , which is like the designer stuff . Yeah , so , like Ombre Leather was a Private Blend .
I just think , man , this fragrance is truly unique . I really think , the more I've processed it . Now the tester strip straight up to me it is like wood and paint , cabinetry , whatever on my skin .
You're kind of saying a little stinky it honestly , because I've been going through some old stuff and I actually that's gone away now by the way it smells great to me . This smells like dusty records on your fucking hand . Which smell is a good smell to me .
I have a huge collection of old records , so this smells great to me what's your favorite , what's your pride of the collection ? oh , yay , you know it wouldn't be worth much , but my pride in my collection is definitely I have pretty much every azuma album that's ever been made .
Oh , really , yeah , if you guys ever watched the movie , nope , at the end , when they're having that big climactic scene where they're like setting up the booby trap to catch the spaceship slash alien thing , they're playing exuma and in fact a couple of scenes earlier in the movie when they're listening to music at night on the record player , the album cover for
his first album , yeah , you see it . Uh , exuma was a guy from I'm sorry , no , no , nerd out here , but Exuma was a guy from . I'm sorry , no , no , no , I'm a nerd out here , but Exuma was a guy who actually went by the name Tony McKay . It's like Bahamas . I would just say soul music , yeah , very folky , yeah , and there's some stuff .
There's a song called Damballa , which means serpent god and stuff , and it's very spooky music .
Yeah , it's almost like a hymn type , like um you know you think of , like almost like hippie christianity music , but it's like to this , like almost nefarious being or something .
Yes , and all his music's kind of like that and I fucking love it and so I have I literally do .
I have every album that's ever made his and just a little backstory dude years before nope came out , you were like going listen to this song . I want to do like a crazy short film with this song . And then as soon as you saw it on the Nope shit , you were like , damn it .
As soon as I saw the trailer I said , oh my God , they're going to use a song for this . I was like I know it , I was fucking pumped and he delivered great with that song . Great choice . But yeah , that's my pride and joy exuma , exuma .
I'll tell you the first album I ever got , what's that like vinyl album . I dated a girl in eighth grade yes , afton , and uh , that's a cool name , yeah , she was . She was great . We dated such a long time two weeks and uh but we just kind of remained friends .
You know it's that weird , you're trying to figure out who you are and you know we just we weren't a good match but we were great as friends . I'd go over there all the time .
It's whenever I first started kind of playing guitar and so I would play guitar and her dad was really into like classic rock , yeah , and so he had two of the same album and he gave it to me . It was led zeppelins in through the outdoor and the inside sleeve of it . When you put water on it it's watercolor damn so you could .
You could paint it with just water and it would like change colors and stuff like that . Such a badass presentation . That is sick . He gave me that that was the first vinyl record I ever got . Did you paint it ? Yeah ?
damn , that's so bad , dude , it was so cool what a great concept , man .
Yeah , they used to do shit like that . We're gonna sound like old fogies now , but it's's like what happened because of the digital delivery , now the physical media that you used to get . You'd have the liner notes , you'd have lyrics , but then you'd also have concept art and all different kinds of badass stuff .
That's so fun , man Dude that alone right there . See , I've never seen that album as a vinyl .
That's fucking crazy Dude mark it right here , right now on the podcast when you and I do our fragrance brand release , we're going to have to include some shit like that in boxes .
That would be sick man . Well , if you enjoyed today's episode , god bless you , as always , yeah or not ?
Yeah Well , if you're not a patron , no thoughts and prayers for you . But if you are a patron , just go to our health chat if you need some thoughts and prayers .
I will tell you what I am shocked . I think we mentioned this episode or so ago . Mike brought up a community chat in there in the patron for health reasons only and I'm very pleased to see how many people are actually interacting . That was not expecting people to interact with that that much yeah , dude , here's the cool thing about it .
It's not just about losing weight . We're also there's a group of guys in there . We're doing a sober october together yeah , what's the ? Challenge , though . Tell them what's the challenge . If you fuck up , you have to give away a bottle of fragrance , and I have one of my coveted lunarosa carbon bottles up for grabs .
If I screw this up , one of the patreons is going to get it . I'm going to try to get him to drink something yeah , hey you guys don't be sabotaging me . You know trying to get that bad boy come in be friends with us .
We love y'all and until next time spray it up y'all .