¶ Snazzy Calls In
Hello , please leave your message after the tone .
Shit . It's snazzy . Why don't you answer your phone anymore ? Come on , guys . Also , what is up with Mike man ? The guy needs to lay off the caffeine . Switch to decaf April . He's over here . What are the clone podcasts ? This is Ryan and Mike all the two friends on a cricket party , and then Ryan's all like Is this Centardus we're talking about today ?
Shit , you guys ever seen the Wire ? Remember Clay Davis ? Shit In the ridiculous ways like it holds out , the one that's like shit . That's what I think about sometimes when I'm trying to get a hold of you guys .
How you shit all over me
¶ Intro
welcome to the colon podcast everybody , I'm mike and I'm ryan , and I'm gonna take it nice and slow for snazzy . Today we're two best friends . We're going on a fragrance journey , smelling fragrances and giving you uneducated opinions yes , one of us is recovering from a catastrophic back injury . Oh shit , oh my god . And the other ones I'm doing great guys .
Let me tell you how old I am . I wasn't doing anything crazy . It's not like I was lifting kettlebells and shit doing you know dead lifts . I literally was just walking across the house and something popped and I hit the floor and started crying and that's been my life , just back pain he has been walking around like a 90 year old man dude .
It's crazy , I felt . I've literally legitimately felt bad for you these past couple of days it's the most excruciating pain I've ever felt .
I was telling you I broke bones . You know I've had heartaches , I've had girls leave me . Nothing hurts as worse as some lower back pain . You should write a country song about it . Yeah , yeah , somebody get post malone on the phone well , we got a great show for you .
Today , guys , we're gonna be smelling yet another new creed fragrance , yeah , with a weird past , like kind of like a orangey coastal color bottle with a gold cap , kind of hideous looking yeah I've smelled this before , so I can say this the bottle doesn't match the fragrance really .
Yeah , okay , it's wild man . I don't know why they picked those . Well , I think I do , because these are their amber fragrances . So they picked like amber colored bottles and like the , you know that cherry red , and now this one is like that ambery sort of orangey gold .
Yeah , and the we're talking about , by the way , it's , uh , delfinus , delfinus . I had to look it up and figure out how to pronounce this thing , because we kept going delfinus , yeah , delfinus . Apparently it's the del finas , yeah , named after you had another constellation or something , probably . So I don't know it . Just it better do well , you know what .
Before we get into it , you need to give us a little little comment .
Section from oh yeah , for grantica , right ? No , yeah , we're gonna go right on over to swashbuckler nine times . Who says dusty fruits ? Something offensively powdery , akin to melted plastic , lean , slightly feminine but pleasant , albeit nondescript .
Okay , sounds terrible , just like the last Creed .
Fragrance you know I really did like this one , so I'm really curious to see what you think about it .
Before we do , we got to get into a one night stand review . But before we even do that , I got to tell you guys , if you're not a Patreon , become a Patreon . It's just silly at this point . If you're not , we have a nice group of people in there . We've got a community chat . We just opened up a buy sell trade community part .
You know , I feel I started thinking about this because we had a Michael J and Jonathan Bleep . They were both like hey , can we do this kind of thing ? And I was like I was kind of against it and Mike was for it . And then I don't know , I just had that random Ryan epiphany where it's like you know what ? I think it's my idea now .
So I'm going to say this is a really good idea , so now you love it yeah . But I started thinking about it because you know , and I think they're going to keep it on the level and in the event that somebody is kind of shysty , it's like you paid for access to get into the group . Yeah , You're out of there .
That's right . No douchebaggery in there , yeah so it's a good community .
I'm really stoked for it . I was telling Mike it's its own organism and it's really unique because it doesn't require . They don't even give a shit about us in there , they're just all entertaining themselves . Like what the fuck is happening right now .
We're kind of like mom and dad at this point . They're like can you leave so we can play with our friends ?
Yeah , pretty much , but also access to a bunch of bonus episodes and giveaways .
So there you go . Yeah , a lot of cool stuff , but now we just opened up to where you can buy , sell and trade your fragrances .
let me tell you , some of the guys in here have pretty amazing collections look some forgive me because I don't have it in front of me , but one of them showed a haul they just got recently and I mean I have literally gotten . So honey , talking about czar , yeah , and they're like .
Yeah , I got four bottles of Czar and the guy threw in an extra one , like all the other ones are sealed . I'm like what the fuck man ? Wow , that's amazing . There's some people with some insane collections . I'm just like blown away . There's my spiel . If you don't like it , I guess , tell me to fuck off .
¶ One Night Stand Review: Centaurus
And now let's get into our one review . Hit the music , todd . Yeah , one night stand review . Well , ryan , after spending the night in a constellation of dark ambers and woody smokiness , what do you think about centaurus garb ?
that's terrible . I just for a . I just can't . It made me sick . I started getting a bad headache . Afterwards . I don't know what was going on with it . I just did not like the vibe of that fragrance .
I'm so shocked Really in the story . It did smell a little different , but I really thought that was going to be your jam .
You're not the only one that was shocked . We had a friend of the podcast , daveski1 , left a spotify comment , said can't believe he hates centaurus . I think it smells like spice bomb to me . And then he did the whole emoji like I don't know , the hands up in the air and yeah , I just . I don't get spice bomb by the way at all .
I just was not vibing that fragrance . I never will . I hate the name , everything about it . I can't stand . Fuck that one . It's a skip .
Yeah , for me it's a sample for the listeners . I mean , it's not me personally , but I don't think it's bad and I'm still kind of shocked . You don't like it that much , so I just defer to your better judgment . Ladies and gentlemen , of the podcast , just go check it out , you out . Creed is opening up boutiques everywhere .
Dallas just got a new Creed boutique . Really , yeah , is it nice . I didn't go in because I prefer Neiman's . Oh , okay , because they have a Creed counter there too . But I'm sure you can go find it places . Don't spend your money . Worst case scenario you can go to the Creed's website and you can order , like you know , carded samples .
It's expensive and dumb that they charge that much , but you can get it . Please don't blind buy any Creed ever . The end .
That just summed up so much for us , and , as you know , it's funny , we like some stuff from there . Absolutely Okay , there you go . Now I'm ready to smell this new one , delphine ass .
¶ Scent of the Day: Delphinus
Let's do it . Okay , here you go .
Okay , I'm a fresh baby today . No sense on me .
The only thing I'm smelling like is Ben Gay right now . What the ?
fuck is this shit , baby , do you ?
like it . Yeah , I like it . Okay . You don't like this . Smells like a cherry leather Okay .
On the skin , yes , and I'm sharp because in the air and on this tester strip I was immediately ready to just write this off , but the skin smells pretty badass .
Yeah for sure okay , god , yes , yes I mean out the gate .
It's definitely more pleasing than Centaurus , yeah , but I don't know . I'm going to ignore the card or the Tesla strip , whatever .
Tesla strip .
Shut up . I do like the skin a lot . That is shocking .
Yeah , it's nice . It seriously just smells like cherry leather to me On the skin . I'm 100% getting that and it's nice , it seriously just smells like cherry leather to me on the skin .
I'm 100 getting that and it's crazy . And then it smells completely different on this man . I don't know what to think of that shit . On the tester strip it's uh , it's all right there . It's labeled unisex , but do you feel like this is unisex ? Do you feel like it's more feminine ? I think it's unisex . I'd wear the hell out of it .
Really , I feel like this is definitely crazy feminine in fact , when ryan was given his spiel over there , I actually had to go and get the other carded sample because I kind of already juiced the first one down . It's like I grabbed the wrong one .
It had like two sprays left in it it's not bad , but I am kind of like I don't know yet . Oh okay , hmm , but you're .
You're definitely honytown , I like it . Let's pretend like it's not for you , but just as a fragrance . Do you think it's a good fragrance or do you you still kind of ?
yeah , I guess I can say that because , as you're talking , I was starting to get more of the amber kind of thing going on and like , yeah , it's definitely a pleasing scent for sure yeah , yeah , it does have .
If we're sniffing out notes here , it does have that amberwood type vibe , yeah .
Dude Centaurus can't even hold this thing's fucking jockstrap .
This definitely is better . It's football season now , so you're losing your shit . We're in a group chat and I never get to be included , because you guys are just talking about football the whole fucking time .
Well , because we're freaking , depressed dude , freaking . Watch our Cowboys spank the shitty Browns . And then we had our pants pulled down and paddled in front of everybody by the Saints . Gotta hear who that , who that , and the fucking stands , the Jerry World . Oh my God dude , that's tough .
Getting your ass whooped at home , that's a tough one , so fucking tough . You know what ? On this card there's even a little more leather to it .
It's getting better .
I like it a lot .
It is getting better , you know . Let me just go ahead and break it down to you here . I'm going to go to Freegranticus Perfume Pyramid . This is their .
You know what .
At least we're giving them credit , though . Yeah , as much as yeah , as much as we've ridiculed people for doing the same fucking thing , hey look we will never be the experts .
I just I just don't believe in it , man . Yeah , I just I smell this and I couldn't tell you one fucking thing I'm smelling it's kind of ambery sweet .
I've been watching speaking of experts . I've been watching the shorts where they got johnny depp with francis kirk john together and oh god , he's like smelling stuff . How'd that go ? Pretty interesting really . Yeah , johnny looks like he really gives a shit he does , but he's a very talented actor .
Yeah , okay , he's like , just sign my checks and let me get the hell out of here speaking of talented actors before I get into the perfume pyramid .
I had a really odd interaction the other day oh you're talking about at the grocery store . Yeah , I called mike immediately hit him with it . Uh , there's a older young lady in front of me , she's checking out , and there's a new young lady that's , uh , the cashier at this grocery store that we shop at and they're having a good old time .
They're just chit-chatting back and forth . You know , I'm , I'm too old , shoddy and all this other stuff , and she's , you know , give me my discount , you know , whatever . So , and they were super sweet . I did the whole like because I'm introvert , I I was smiling but not looking at them . You're like , hey , kind of like that .
Yeah , like you're having a good time .
The old white man laughing smile .
So I get up there and of course the young lady asked me for whatever our number or whatever . Yeah , and that's all I give them .
I'm like know , hey , how's it going , you know whatever .
I'm like really chill , yeah , and then six , one , seven , I don't know where they just go . You ever thought about reading ? I told you this you're like michael's uh . I told you this You're like Mike was like uh dirt . Mike was like what did you say ? He said because I look like a fucking idiot .
Have you ever thought about increasing your knowledge ? You freaking moron ? Yeah , have you ever ?
opened a fucking book . So before I'm like I'm like kind of dumbfounded , I'm like , uh , yeah , I guess I should , and before I could finish , like you know , like audio books , Got a really good voice , oh yeah , I was like , oh God , I don't even like my voice . Oh , who Me ?
And then I was like , hey , I actually do have a podcast and I have heard that before . And she was like , oh , that's cool . And she just like , get the fuck out of here .
I was just making small talk , you idiot . Yeah , you fucking creep , get out of here , don't talk back to me .
So the Perfume Pyramid at Fragrantica . This thing has three juicy notes that we all know . We can pick out Three juicy notes , iris , I do kind of actually get that ?
Yeah , for sure , that's kind of the leatheriness to it , I'm assuming .
Incense ? Not so much to me . No , vanilla , I don't know if I smell vanilla either . You're not slurping a little bit of that vanilla ? I guess amber may qualify for that , but I do get amber cherry leathery kind of thing . Yeah , smells pretty damn good . Not going to lie , it wasn't like an out the atomizer .
This thing is not for me again , this may be who's wearing it , so I won't go into too much detail , but I feel like I know a few ladies that are wearing that ombre leather . I feel like this is that more subtle feminine leather . It's got that cherry aspect to it will be great on a woman yeah , sexy dude , absolutely .
That's why I'm screaming . This is definitely more feminine to me . Not a bad thing to say that , it just seems more feminine , and it would smell really delicious on a lady yeah , you know , maybe more of the floral elements is uh like vanilla type vibe , I don't know .
It does have feminine qualities , but I wouldn't be afraid to wear it as a man .
Excuse me , I got breaking news
¶ Price and Popularity
50 ml $400 . Fudge 100 ml $545 .
Way too much money , really Way too much .
But it smells so good . Smell it , Ryan .
Look how good it smells . Is that what I'm selling , ryan ? It does smell great . I don't think it smells $500 great .
Is it 3.71 out of 5 rating great .
Yes , I think so Under 4, . Yeah , okay .
Yeah , shout out Fragrantica . They gave us all that information .
I thought you just calculated that in your mind because you're a fragrance genius . It does smell good , man , but that price tag look , sometimes even the the raja doves out there that hit that kind of price point . I'm like nope .
Yeah , I'm the same way . I feel like at that price point it's got to be unique , it's got to be loud , it's got to be long lasting . Yeah , it's got to be something you know can't get outperformed by a designer .
Man , I can't push myself to spend over $300 for a fragrance ever . Yeah , $250-ish $275 , that is the cap .
It's got to be the cap . You think $275 is the cap on fragrances ? I think so . Yeah , I can kind of get behind that because I can't think of one fragrance . Well , I'll take that back . I did get Creation E I did buy that full retail . Oh yeah , that's the only one . That's the only one . We got full retail .
Yeah , which we just learned that they won the settlement or whatever . Now he can use Enigma in the States . It used to be Enigma over in the UK and creation E in America . I wonder why it was like that , I don't know . Hmm , maybe it was Richard E Enigma was .
Richard E Enigma . Oh God , the Riddler . You know , before we even get , you know , actually , let's fucking get into this real quick . Who would wear this ? I think we all kind of know . We've kind of hinted at this a little bit . Yeah , I feel like this is 35 and up . No , really , I think 25 and up . Nah , for the ladies , I don't know .
No , no , no , Not for me .
Boy , you are sadly mistaken , Ryan . Okay , go ahead Shoot him with the truth , then yeah , I think it's 25 and up , beautiful lady out there , you know , maybe you're calling shots , maybe you're a big wig , you know .
So you got lots of money because you're gonna need it because this shit is expensive . You're a lawyer , okay , yeah , you happy , we told you what you are you're a sexy brunette lawyer yeah , I can't hate on that , bob , okay , yeah I'm with you .
You wear like those suit vest things a lot me , no , her . I would never want to see you in a waistcoat . Ryan . Those suit vest things a lot Me , no , her . I would never want to see you in a waistcoat , ryan .
Oh shit , I'm going to get off subject for just a minute here .
Please do , because we've been right on subject this whole time . Might as well take a little side quest .
I'm definitely taking this side quest . It's a hill that I'm about to die on
¶ Ryan's Calls Out Corporate
. Okay , one day when this fucking podcast is massive , okay , and I'm telling you guys right now , I'm gonna start bringing this up every once in a while .
I want you guys to do your part to bring it up to who I'm about to be talking about , and it is completely not fragrance related , because I got a fucking bone to pick oh okay , wow , hold on , you look really pissed I just really been .
I've actually been steaming on this for a while , okay , okay , I'm dying to know I'm we're really not playing this up .
I'm actually no , I , I can tell . Yeah , I was like whoa , wait a second , this is real orville reddenbacher . Okay , you fucking badass , no wonder , no wonder you're so you know what I'm gonna be saying , don't you ?
you know what I'm bringing up , don't you know exactly ? Go ahead , orville reddenbacher , the company . I gotta say this I'm tired of looking up copycat recipes . I've been trying to make my own . Yeah , they're like , never quite there . It's not always the same . It's the caramel popcorn , the melt over caramel popcorn .
Yeah , they let you pop the bag and then you had a little silver spaceship NASA package inside . You cut that in little squares After you drained the popcorn and picked out all the seeds and you placed them all strategically on top . You put it in the microwave and you set it for another 45 seconds or so .
You watch it bubble up and start dripping all over the freaking popcorn . While that's going on , you pour you a glass of fucking cold milk , ice , cold , whole milk , full fat . And he knows , because he did the same thing . We didn't even know each other and we did the same thing .
It's true , you know what , but you did teach me the culling method to get all the seeds out .
Had a method , guys , Because you know when the popcorn bag pops it has a little bitty opening before you spread it all up . You turn your bag over , you shake it and all the seeds come just shitting out the bottom right . Then you dump all the kernels out yeah , I shouldn't say seeds , but kernels .
You dump them out and then you got popcorn that's not going to crack your fucking molars , yeah , and it was the most delicious hot , just fresh caramel popcorn with milk . And they just were like one day , you know what , fuck you . And you know what , orville redenbacher , fuck you . I've seen them . They've got dill pickle flavors .
They got fucking 20 different buttery things . They got all these different . They got pop the ones that pop up caramel that are not the same . I've seen like hot Cheeto versions . I think it's like .
Yeah , dude . Well , just the butter variety alone . It's like good Lord , how many different butter . It's like they've got light butter , extra butter , movie theater butter , ultimate butter , amish butter yeah , dude .
Get the fuck over yourselves . Whoever's running the fucking company , pull up the old fucking ingredients . Start fucking mass producing them . People are going to want it to be back , just like the fucking Szechuan sauce yeah everybody wants it . So fucking bring it back . What the fuck ? I just started thinking about it because I was wanting to have caramel popcorn .
I don't like caramel popcorn . That's just . It's been made , it's been sitting out , it's dried I like fresh . Where it's gooey , it's hot , I like that . And that's a hill I'm willing to die on . Ladies and gentlemen , I'm telling you he's serious about this shit . I'm serious , man , fuck them . Man , like , just make it .
Huh , huh , okay , you're going to skip it . Sample it . Or buy
¶ Skip it, Sample it, Buy it
it . What are you going to do , ryan ? Well , mike , I will definitely say this is a sample , and I think there will be a few men that can pull this off , but I do feel like , predominantly , this is a sample for the ladies .
Yeah , it's a sweeter fragrance . If you're going to wear it as a guy , I don't think it's super mature . It's also crazy expensive , so you basically have to be some sort of 18-year-old influencer to buy it .
Absolutely , I could see if you're going to be out in the sun hanging out or it's just a light time you're going out for fucking mocktails with your pals and shit like that . That you could get away with this . But majority , yes , when I smell it it is more stereotypical , female leaning , or feminine at least . But I could .
Yeah , I enjoy it , I'd want to wear it , but it's not an everyday sort of occasion . It really just has to be more of a lighthearted fragrance for the guys .
It really is a pretty scent , though , and definitely smells better than the last creed yeah it's , it smells great , but it is in nowhere worth that price tag .
No , way , no , so it's a sample to a skip right then it's skipped for the price , but eventually it's going to sneak out there on those discounters and you can probably get it for $250 or something like that . You think it's worth it at $250 ? To the right person . Yeah to the right person , yeah , yeah .
I mean , if you're checking your account daily to see how much money you have in there , this is not a fragrance for you , mike .
This Mike , the one sitting next to me , not any of you other mics that are listening . Yeah , uh , okay , guys , you know what I feel like . That was a fun roller coaster of a ride , of an episode .
Yeah , there's probably a good five minutes of fragrance talking there I don't know , man , there's only so much .
I can keep talking about Creed . We talked about him last week . I promise you the next one will not be Creed , yeah , for sure .
But these new releases we've had . So many people beg us and I think you've noticed we've been good about getting these new releases out . Now we're trying , guys , we're actually giving effort , Shocker .
Okay , we love you guys and until next time , Spray it up y'all .