¶ Fragrance Review
Hello , ladies and gentlemen , welcome to the Cologne Podcast . I'm Mike .
I'm Ryan . We're two best friends . We're going on a fragrance journey , smelling fragrances by Tom Ford and giving you our uneducated opinion . Hey , I've got a free grant-ticker review from Ikea Pencil about today's fragrance .
That's probably a really shitty pencil .
Maybe . What if it's a great pencil but it's really difficult to put together .
Yeah , it probably is Mike .
Pencil says Ike Grandma , is that you ? I tested this on the skin and I've shook . So many people enjoy this . Some of the ingredients by themselves are great , but on the together this really does just smell like overly sweet vanilla with old person BO Hard pass . Huh , ike Grandma .
That raises that question again . If you hated a fragrance but everybody loved it , would you still wear it ? You asked me that last time .
Yeah , Would you ? I don't know . Let's smell this fragrance after we do our One Night Stand review and I'll let you know Of .
Aqua De Parmas , cologne Essensia . I think that's it .
Hit the music . Todd yeah One Night .
Stand review . One Night Stand review . Tell Mike , after sleeping in bed with Aqua De Parma and waking up to shoveled beard hair up , mess , because you have nothing on top of your head .
Wow , we got to go there .
I don't know why . I really am not hating on you at all , but I feel like this past week I've really been going in on you . Yeah , you have .
You keep taking your hat off . Your hair's freaking matted up top . Still beautiful , flowing .
I think because you attacked me that one day you're like what the fuck is up with your hair .
I was like damn dude , I was like just shave it . What's your problem ?
But after you spent the night with this , what do you think about ?
it . I think you should go with 47.11 .
I think so too . That price point's too ridiculous man .
Did it last very long on your skin . It didn't no same with me .
I think Tom Ford's and early Porofino didn't last long . This one didn't last long .
It could be just that sort of flavor profile , but at the same time there's cheap options out there that are pretty slurpy .
Yeah , and if you want to get real slurpy guys , the 47.11 , pretty damn close to both those . I mean , obviously it doesn't have some of the elegance that some of these have , but the overall profile's pretty similar and that price point of like 12 , 15 bucks maybe , yeah , yeah , it's a no-brainer guys and you can just drink that shit .
I mean , not really , you could . You could it wouldn't be good , but you could and your skin would be radiating that shit . But yeah , so for me it's a skip . For me it's a skip Like a hard skip , real horde . All right , we're going to keep that one short and sweet . There's really nothing to divulge anymore .
Yeah , if you just feel so inclined and somebody's just really filling up your DMs begging you , then go ahead and give it a sample , but for us to pass .
It's all right . Okay , so I'm going to go into this for you . I've actually smelled this before , but it's been a long , long time , Yep .
You and me have history . Oh yeah , with noir D noir sprayer up yo .
One thing I have to give to the Tom Ford brand is I really like their atomizers or not ? What do you call this ? They're travel atomizers , whatever . This is 10 mil . It feels nice , refillable as well .
It is sharp Magnetic top .
Oh , baby yeah .
Pass me that lid there bro .
Oh , love that magnetic top , your brand out there . If you got the money , just go fucking magnetic top . It's sleek , it's easy to put shit on . Why do other reviewers care so much about the top being able to not come off when you pick your bottle up ? What the fuck is that ? Why do people care about that part ?
Because they have so many on the shelf . Sometimes you got to lift up from behind . That's so dumb . Anyways , I agreed Creed did started doing better with their tops now . Really , yeah , they've got metal caps and they fit nice and snug on there .
I bet the metal caps meant a nice metal upgrade to the pricing .
Yeah , they probably raise the price as a fitty butt All right .
What do ? First off , this smell ? It smells good , guys , it does . I can't hate on Tom Ford . Most of the stuff they make , it does smell good . Our only gripe is that they usually just kind of don't last long .
Yeah , this one . Tell me what you're smelling .
I agree , I smell an older person . This is for any young folks out there growing up in the 80s , as Mike and I did especially me , because I'm only just a couple of years older than him .
Yeah .
But there's parts of this that does actually remind me of my grandmother We'd go visit . She lived in Mississippi and there was two houses . We'd set this one house but her house was across the street and I was like I can , I feel like I smell this from like the soap center bathroom .
It does have a vintage smell Almost kind of has an old school lotion kind of smell . I was going to go with nail polish . I can absolutely smell that . Yeah , it's kind of like a little blend of all that for me . The funny thing , man , nail polish for sure . Yeah , now that you've said that , oh , for sure .
Yeah , that's . The weird thing is whenever I first smelled this because we've got a little story I bought a 10 mil decant from my fragrant samples dot com quite a while ago and I sprayed it on you and I were going somewhere , I think we went to Ace Hardware .
I was about to say I think we went to Ace Hardware and when I got in the car you were like , oh , you loved it Incredible . When I first sprayed it I could smell like chocolatey tobacco . You know this whole thing . Right now I'm smelling some hardcore fingernail polish .
I do too , but I guess I'm weird . I like that smell . It's a reason why I like it's not nail polish , but the reason why I like Chanel's Cocoa Mademoiselle . The EdT is like for women . It smells like a nail salon , it smells a string it is the word , I guess . But this does smell like nail polish . It's kind of crazy . I kind of like that .
And to tell you how memorable this scent is , I have not smelled it since the day you wore it . Yeah , which has been two years probably . Yeah , it's been probably over almost over two years . I can remember exactly what you're wearing . He was wearing a blue short sleeve button up shirt that had like a little white , little tiny dots or whatever on it .
And you're wearing some cargo shorts or some khaki shorts I don't know , it's very summery and I was like , damn dude , this smells good . Your outfit looks good , this smells good , you look great . Yeah , your hair looks great . At that time , yeah , I was like dude , your hair is on fleek .
Nothing will ever happen to you , yeah , you'll always have beautiful hair . But I remember that day I yeah , I was just like , damn , do you smell ? Fucking good .
I remember us backing out of the studio going there , I don't remember it smelling this , feminine to me , yeah now that I'm smelling , it does smell feminine .
What a trip .
Wild . I went all the way through that tin mill and then bought this from Tom Ford in Neiman Marcus for 75 bucks .
Is it me or does it kind of remind you a little bit of the Arantarence Hughes Onyx fragrance that we smelled not so long ago ?
Yeah , I feel like Onyx is a little bit more buck wild and a little bit more masculine to me than this . Absolutely agree , it's almost like Onyx does it better .
I can agree in some regards , especially if we're going with , like , more leaning towards the masculine route . I agree with that .
Well , let's go into price and trend , because not everybody's going to snap up just a tin mill , like I did for 75 bucks .
Yeah , if you really want to wear this , you got to be a limousine rotten jet flying , yeah , diamond ring wearing , kiss dealing , wheeling , dealing Roll X wearing and you're having a hard time keeping those alligators down . Yeah , because you got to have some money for some time for it guys .
Yeah , what was ? 100 mil ? Over 400 bucks for 25 , for 100? .
For chicken pricey .
Only I didn't say fudge .
And then it's 2 , 95 for a 50 mil . So it's like damn , there's a lot of money , man .
Yeah , and I guarantee you in the last two years it's been a little bit more watered down than probably .
this is even oh dude yeah , now that Estee Lauder has her freaking iron grip of death inside of it .
Well , at that point she had they were licensing . I think they just outright got the whole company , including an apparel and everything .
Hey , you want a really weird topic . I was cruising reddit today , as I always do . Of course , I'm just your typical neckbeard in red , yeah , in cell soy boy some of those other terms . God , that might be a little too much guys .
But the internet is awesome .
So I was cruising there and somebody it was like an ask reddit question like what could Elon Musk has spent his $44 billion on instead of buying Twitter , Uh huh ? And somebody said the entire Motown catalog is only a bill . Wow , that's kind of shocking , isn't it ? That is shocking . And then somebody said not look guys , it's reddit .
That's probably a bunch of netbeards talking to netbears . Yeah , Fucking in cells .
Soy boys .
Wearing their fucking lure , fucking what do you call them ? Like mesh outfits . They go and role play like knights in the shining armor or something I don't know . Magic the Gathering , yeah , but uh . Yeah , somebody said something to the fact or to the effect .
I want to say they said you could buy the entire music industry catalog for eight something bill , or like it made eight bills so you could spend whatever to get that , so he could have bought the entire music catalog of every song ever Wow , for eight billion . I just don't see that happening . I don't either . That just seems weird .
That's why I still felt weird about one bill for all of Motown hits . Yeah , let's got some Jackson five in there . You're going to tell me that's only worth a bill . Yeah , I know .
Anyway , so Otis Redding Smokey .
Robinson . Goddamn , there's some good ones , dude . I fell in love with Otis Redding when I watched Pretty in Pink . Oh really yeah , because Ducky comes sliding into the shop singing the song .
Oh , hmm , I was thinking of Roadhouse . Yeah , where ?
Patrick Swayze strips down or something , these arms of mine , or ?
something . Yeah , that's where he hooks up with the lead female protagonist and it gets steamy .
It definitely gets steam . I love how they allure that he has a giant dong in there . He likes strips in front of her like the first time . He's just like I don't know putting on regular clothes . Back then you just war wranglers with no underwear .
Of course , because that's the most comfortable way to wear them and like her eyes clearly point down and they like go bug-eyed , could be the opposite . I don't know . Oh yeah , you know , if you're ripping motherfucker's throats out , you're compensating for something .
Yeah , soyboy , so noir date and war about Tom .
So the price , we know , guys , the price . It's expensive as hell . If you want to get a good deal on it , I'm sure you can find some shops out there Fragrance net , joma shop , something I don't know , that's out there Back alley dealer on eBay . Right yeah , the trend is shocking . The trend is really really good . Oh yeah .
It's stayed up there for a minute .
And I can see why I feel like this is a really good fragrance . I haven't smelled in a minute , but I'm just smelling it straight up now . I'm just like shit smells . Good as hell . It smells . It smells high end . I'll say that it smells like nothing that you'll wear . That's designer 100% say that .
So do you feel like this is more feminine or masculine , now that I'm ?
smelling it now definitely feminine , which is really surprising , but this would smell really good on a woman .
Yeah , especially now we're getting into the cooler weather .
God dude , a woman rocked this . She'd be rocking this hard .
Yeah , I agree , see , ryan .
Let's get into who's wearing it . Okay , she has a bunch of incels .
Soy boys , she's business . I could see that Businesswoman Mid to late 30s Got her shit together .
Oh yeah , this is definitely a businesswoman Dress
¶ Tom Ford Perfume
. Fucking sharp , yeah , nails , done right . Not that fake press on shit . No , they write they're gel , it's hip .
I don't know stuff about nails .
She's wearing some I don't know what kind of shoes they wear that are like badass Flats .
I don't know no .
Stilettos . They're wearing something badass with this business outfit . You hear them clacking down the fucking hallway . They're on their way to a fucking court .
God , if you're listening right now and you haven't seen Jurassic Park High Hills edition , for the love of God , press pause , go to YouTube and just search .
Even better . We're going to put the link in our description on the podcast . Okay , absolutely Okay . We'll have a link to the Jurassic Park High Hills edition , classic , classic cinema right there , yeah . But yeah , I feel like this person is sharp , dark burnet hair , maybe even a wild fucking redheaded lady . Wow , just sharp , just piercing .
They have a piercing look , they dress sharp , they're all business . Can't be blonde . Oh , she could be blonde , but I'm burnets , yeah , of course , and redheads are cool .
Yeah , I get it Incells soy books , yeah .
But yeah , there you go . I think that shoes actually weren't . I mean , a guy could wear this . It's definitely probably unisex , yeah , but now that I really smelled it again , I'm with you , dude . And now that I smell unmistakable nail polish that's what it smells like I will not erase that out of my head . It's trapped .
I got a fragrance from Dan over at Some Up Our Fums called Theorem Okay that it does kind of lean feminine . It is a irisee rosy sort of a fragrance , but with the ride of tire I feel like it can be masculine . I can get with that , I could probably do something like that .
When you smell on your hand . It smells different , by the way . I don't know for you , for at least me it does . Yeah , it smells a little skunkier or something on my hand , dude , really .
Yeah , it doesn't smell like nail polish at all , it's smelling like old school soap bar on my hand , like hardly any sweetness to it , it's like kind of bitter and I kind of like that . So , yeah , I feel like this is kind of unisex . I do think it does lean more feminine still .
This does not smell anything like I remember it . So is it better or worse ? Then it's different . I don't know that it's better or worse , it's just it's probably good for someone different . I would have . I wanted to do this episode because I was like getting ready to say , oh , I'll probably wear this . It's darker .
It's supposed to be troughly chocolatey , rosy fragrance . I'm like , oh yeah , it's getting cooler weather . I'm probably going to bust this thing out Now that I smell it on me .
I think if I walked in the next day or two wearing this . I think you would fucking love it Probably . I can smell the truffle , but we're going to go over the notes a little bit . It doesn't have many In sales . It has saffron , which , shockingly , most saffron fragrances we've ever smelled . I fucking hate them Really Because they just smell like BR540 ?
No , it just has this . Is that what BR540 is ? A lot of saffron , really . Yeah , I feel like the ones we smelled always kind of have a weird I don't know just thing going . It makes me nauseous , not this one . Then it has black rose . It has truffles , floral patchouli , vanilla , argo , would , oh and Oat Moss . This is a really kind of it's .
It's simple , I guess in theory on the on the notes , but it does smell high into me . It smells delicious . I do smell some of the truffle now , some of that chocolateyness , but it just from a distance . When you take your nose back , you're getting nail polish for $425 .
Yeah , yeah , man , I don't know . Skip it , sample it or buy it . What are you going to do , ryan ? Well , this one's a skip , isn't that crazy ?
It is . It's a skip .
It smells so good though , if I asked you before we did this episode , based on your memory of me wearing it , what would your ? Skip it , sample it , buy it would have been . It would have been a buy , yeah it really would have .
Hmm , it's not a skip because it smells bad , though . It's a skip because it doesn't fit what I originally thought . Yeah , remembered , so it's like again . It's it's so . It feels so much more feminine . Now , for the ladies out there , it's a buy or sample .
I mean , if I , if I smelled this which I think you get a better deal by Chanel , cocoa man on myself but if I smelled either one of these that would remind me of a nail salon or get your nose on it's like getting gussied up and shit . It's a good smell it is .
Yeah , I think it'd be very beautiful on a woman . Very , I'm shocked .
I'm so shocked .
I know I've completely changed my mind about it . What ?
do you think Skip sample ? It's a skip for me now , so it's two hard skips .
Isn't that weird , dude ? I would have never thought that going into this episode Seriously , because I haven't smelled this in a while either . I went through that tin mill wearing it , loving it I don't know if the batch that Mark had was just extra sexy and then I bought this again . This is official Tom Ford in the , in that sweet travel itemizer .
Todd , add water hitting the ground . Sound effects there . Love those magnetic caps , dude .
But yeah , now I'm like I got to give this to a friend , a female friend . What a shocker , what a shame . Yes , let's hit into our super secret question of the day .
Let's hit it up . What's your super secret ? Question of the day .
What's a better experience Decanting or big juicy bottle ? Is there a difference in the experience ?
Yes , let me relate this story a little bit . You've all been listening . You know that me and Mike bought 300 ml of straight to heaven , right ? Yes , mike brought me a little decant to put in . He offered to put it in a bottle and I'll just do a decant and I'm not being able to enjoy that for like a one . For whatever reason , mike , I don't .
Do you have a full bottle to put it in or something You've been enjoying the hell out of ?
it . Oh , I have a 50 mil the one I offered to so you're spraying it for real .
I'm spraying that , and I'm like little spritzes , yeah , like this , yeah , it's like leaking on me , yeah .
So I honestly haven't been wearing it because of that and I've been like I'm not to just buckle down and get me something that I said a miser so I can get some full coverage , because I feel like I'm just like doing 10 mil at a time and if I can do these little pussy ass squeaks , it's just like it doesn't work for me , yeah , so for me , I think there
is a huge difference . I mean , do we still get to smell it ? Yes , I say yes , we can still that you know , grade something and review it . But wearing it , wearing it like the way I like to spray , no , I'm not able to experience it like that , right , right . So is your question really positioning ? Is it worth it to spend money on bottles to experience ?
them . I mean , take it where you want to go , I think it's . Does the fragrance act different , perform different , smell different ? Decanting versus a bottle ?
I think that's where we've kind of been , where it's like have we gotten a decant , wore it , it was one way , and then we bought a bottle and it was different because maybe the volume or maybe the air doesn't get to it as much . Is there something in there that creates a difference between decanting and full juicy bottle ?
I feel like , overall , as far as like wearing , like actually wearing a fragrance and really putting a fragrance on , I think decanting is not the way Right . Yeah , because you're only going to get so much . I can't remember which fragrance house it was , but they were like three sprays of this equals one atomizer spray from a regular bottle .
Yeah , perfumes , vintage , or something like that .
Okay , so yes , that is where that came from and that's been like our philosophy from that point forward to like , oh , we've got to really hit it . If you listen to Ryan spraying over there , it's like me . I go chup , chup , chup , chup , chup . You do a ton . Yeah , here's what I would if I had to create a simile to it .
Okay , Decanting is like watching a movie on your phone , and buying the bottle is like going to the theater .
Yeah .
I'm with you on that and I think you sometimes maybe you should watch it on your phone to see if you're really liking it . If you really love it , then you're going to go spend the 20 extra bucks for popcorn and you know the more expensive ticket , the $5 milk dud . You're going to get all that .
You're going to sit down and then you're going to enjoy it on the big screen when all the holes are through the screen yeah , because they don't maintenance them anymore .
And then you watch your stock and AMC because you think you're going to be on to the next game . Stunk and it's crashing every five minutes . Yeah .
Have you been to a theater where they've had holes in the screens ? You're the last one you took me to Really Nope . You didn't take me to nope . Yeah , we went to nope together , damn we .
Yeah , remember , because you kept getting phone calls and . I could enjoy it .
Not to note that was to Maverick .
Yeah , it's not good . Yeah , there's a little holes in the screen , little tiny ones Really . Oh , I feel like that stands out like a sore thumb to me . I didn't see it the seats are comfortable though . Yeah , and I mean , you just can't beat like a big . You know 785 inch screen Blast in your retina .
Yeah , so is there a difference in experience ? Yes , there is . But should you go see every movie you're ever gonna watch On the big screen ? Did you see that ?
I'm sorry . I got it . No , do it ? Did you see that picture ? When openheimer came out , Somebody screenshot it , like you know . You can like buy your seats prior to the movie , but you can see what's available . It's like All these seats were available and somebody bought the very front center . Oh yeah , yeah . They're like who is this guy ?
Yeah , some freaking lunatic , some incel soy boy .
What a Chad yeah yeah , absolute unit .
Oh god man . So circle back around . Yes , so Should you buy every bottle ? No , I think that decanting serves a great purpose for you to get a little taste . Yeah , yeah , before you go , full course meal on that pup .
But there's gonna be times you're gonna get a little taste and you're gonna wish mm-hmm . You saw it in theaters . Yeah , for sure . And let me tell you which movie that ? Yeah , hey , full eight . No , we saw that there's doing . No , we didn't . We didn't see that in theaters ?
No , and they were doing . Remember , they were doing the road show and we told me the road show .
I thought we saw in theater , though .
Mm-hmm . No , that we went and saw once upon a time in Hollywood . What the fuck .
Okay , but yeah , that one for sure . But recently what I'm speaking on is Talk to me . Oh yeah , he hasn't seen it , so I'm not going to spoil it . And for any of you people that haven't seen it , but I will say this I need to watch that movie . That's a badass horror movie .
God , I would have rather seen that than the Nun 2 I recently saw .
Yeah , that looks dumb . It's not so much that scary , but it is kind of a movie . That takes me back when we would watch a movie and we really were entertained in a horror movie , like it was like fun , like the first scream . I don't necessarily think it was scary , but it was a fun ride . You know what I'm saying ?
Yeah , I get you and this is kind of where that's at . I want to be real with you . Man , I would probably I go low-key on movies , is that right ? I mean , I spray something like Aquideasio but I won't let go . Ham , you're not going to go red tobacco on them . No , that'd be pretty obnoxious . I do appreciate the movie experience .
I don't want to ruin it for people . Yeah , you'd run it for me wearing red tobacco for sure . I wonder what people would do if you walked into a packed movie night . Let's just say Wearing T-Rex . No , not even that Like the Barbie movie , right . Let's say you walked in wearing like that putrid one .
Oh Sombra .
Yeah , that Steve's dumbass made me smell . What would people do around you smelling that dude ?
God dude , I'd almost just bring the sample just to kind of spritz in the air ever so often .
God , I think that would clear our house . Dude . Yeah , that would be brutal . All right , we're all over the place . We're skipping this for the men .
Yeah , but ladies , please try it .
Seriously women out there , they got your shit together or a house load of cats . Try this .
Why the house load of cats . Cover up the cats . Oh , okay , yeah , sorry if you're a cat lover out there .
We had a short podcast .
Yeah , we're not going to talk about it today . In the future we may link it .
We're just . We're fresh out today , I think maybe try our new Mexican restaurant .
Yes , and I think we're like kind of carboloaded from that . Yeah .
I think that's what it is , but it was good . Those tortilla chips were amazing .
So we're recently trying to replace one near and dear to our hearts that we had to say goodbye to .
So yeah , Chuck E Cheese is trying to take it over , you know .
Yeah , we know exactly what you mean by that .
Charles E Cheese Cheese be entertainment cheese and we were mortified and I , we don't know what to do with our lives .
Honestly , we've been kind of in a while . Well , what about this ? What'd you think ? Similar distance .
Similar distance . It's not as good as what we loved before , yes , but it is a comparable replacement for the time being . Yeah .
Until what they get things . They kick out entertainment cheese .
Yeah once they crucify Chuck E Cheese in the parking lot and we can verify that . Yeah , and there's none of his relatives hanging around , loafing around on couches and skating on flapjacks like Muppet movies . Yeah , we'll be good .
Yeah , I received a video that was more frightening than Five Nights at Freddy's , and it was Five Nights at Charles E .
Cheese . Can you believe they're making a movie about that ? Yeah , live action . I was shocked . All right , boys and girls , we love you guys
¶ Acknowledging a Listener and Sending Well-Wishes
. I do want to say this quick , quick shout out to friend of the podcast , Cynthia , who has been a longtime listener . She wrote us We'd sent her some , we'd sent her a little care package and she was thankful . So thank you , Said hey , sorry , I've been kind of out of touch . I've been going through a couple of things . She's had a recent surgery .
I want to tell you , Cynthia , we love you . We hope you're doing good . We appreciate you from the very beginning and for all you listen out there , having your thoughts , prayers , hope things go better for her .
That's right . Yeah , we want to bring this . They were just one wild family , and when one of us is hurting , we all heard a little bit , and so if you're a friend of the podcast and you're going through something , we really care . Cynthia has been around for a while .
She actually called Ryan out for laughing so much early on and we were fast friends ever since .
So yeah , and in fact our Halloween episode is actually thanks to Cynthia that was coming up and we're excited to do it next week and until next time .
straight up y'all .