¶ Reviewing Tom Ford's Neroli Portofino
You are listening to an episode from the Vault . These are previous Cologne podcast episodes that we considered lost , but they have been none covered and are presented to you in their original format .
Hello , ladies and gentlemen . It's episode 243 of the Cologne podcast . I'm Mike , I'm Ryan . We're just two simpletons from Texas , dumb , giving you guys our uneducated opinion on the world of fragrance . We're best friends , by the way . Sorta , it's complicated , yeah .
I really don't know what to say about it . I will , no , you go ahead . No , no , no you go ahead , friend .
I will say , mike and I are both really well fed right now .
We just ate our favorite .
We're not going to drop any names , but we just ate our favorite Chinese restaurant . When we do it every time we have to go out and work in a certain area , it's literally a hole in the wall .
But hit them with the truth man , the food is so fucking hot . It's so hot , it hurts so good every time you take a bite .
The whole time Mike's eating literally . This is probably after the plate was put on the table . Yeah , and this is probably 15 minutes I went by since the food has literally been put on the table and Mike gets another dish and he starts putting his lo mein in it .
He's like spreading it out , and I'm like , oh , you're fixing to pour some of that cloud or some extra sauce . He's like you're fixing to put some of that sauce on . He's like dude , I'm just trying to get this shit to cool .
Yeah , you have to increase the surface area . It's literally the hottest shit on earth . Speaking of the hottest shit on earth , we're going to be tackling the Rolly Porta Fina by Tom Ford and we're about to see if it's the hottest shit on earth . But E Latin Poppy , hello . Poppy Says I absolutely love this fragrance . Okay , I've tested it on the card .
However , on my skin it smells strikingly similar to pine floor cleaning products and then a frowny face at the end .
Well , I can already debunk that kind of because we've kind of smelled this in previous episodes Just kind of dabbling .
Okay . Well , let's not get too far into that , because first , Ryan , we have to get into our one night stand review of by Anthony Hopkins . Yeah , one night stand review . After spending the night with Hannibal Lecter , other than not eating the food , ryan , how did it go ?
It's okay , it's not bad , it's not amazing .
We said it was great for the mature listeners of the audience . Yeah , I agree still with that . Yeah , that's about all I got for that . Yeah , it's mature . It smells clean . A little hint of sassiness with its like over sort of neroli vibe apparently , but it did inspire today's episode . So , ryan , why don't we just jump right into this ?
Why don't we just dive right into Tom Ford's neroli portofino ?
All right , get your Dunkaroos out . Dunkaroos , dunkaroos , you remember those ? That's why I said it oh okay , here you go .
It's like I fucking hate this Dude . I love those things . Our younger audience members won't remember Dunkaroos , but they were a delicious little snack .
They were little kangaroo-dippin' cookie things right yeah .
And then you had like the icing . Oh yeah , man , mmm , ooh , citrusy floral .
I have to say it doesn't smell like pine floor cleaner , but it is a little drastically different on the skin versus the car . But the card is super gorgeous .
I love it on the card If I hadn't read that . You know how I am when people mention things . They create in my theater of the mind here and then I just kind of grab ahold of you know what they're saying . I can kind of see what Elatin Poppy was talking about , like the cleaner vibe .
It's funny , but it is . It's kind of cleaner .
Yeah , but I'm going to ignore that because it is a good smell .
It is man on this card . I'm telling you guys , on this card , this shit does smell really really good . I'm really surprised by it .
But Neroli is just like an old school sort of a fragrance note to have .
I'm going to tell you like I had a grandmother born in 1904 . So , yeah , I have been in my grandparents house at some point in my life when I was younger and there were smells like this . I can remember them and they're very striking , very unapologetic , and that's the kind of stuff I like .
Yeah , in this I do like that vibe and I think the first time I smelled it I was like no , but you grow to appreciate these things . I feel like we've come a long way just in these last few months of doing this . Start now with just designers .
First thing we smelled together as a niche fragrance was Aventus , and now from that moment , just a few months ago , to now , I feel like we've traveled so far in our fragrance journey that I've really started appreciating more of the eccentric sort of notes .
Oh for sure I love stuff like this . That's why we get so mad about certain brands being super safe , because it's like I mean , that's been done a million times . I'd rather it be this and we've noted Roger does the same way .
He says hey , the biggest insult I could get is when somebody says it's okay , He'd rather you have a harsh no or harsh yes to it , because he wants it to be polarizing .
Right , which I agree . He doesn't want to get friend zoned . He either wants you to tell him no or he wants you to marry him for life .
Yeah , that is a pretty smell . I dig it . It's probably one of those smells , though , Truth be told , it probably is a smell that you're probably going to if you wear it . There's going to be people that probably they may not say to your face , but they're probably going to be some that hate it , and there's going to be some people that , wow , that's so .
It's like engaging .
I feel like this is a fragrance that smells great , but not a lot of men are going to be able to pull this one off . Well , there's going to be a certain type of man that's going to pull this off . As opposed to it being for the every man . Yeah , because it's got a certain vibe to it , it definitely does .
This is one of the ones I like to smell , and probably not the one that I'm going to wear a lot , man you wore .
you wore this . It was either this or the New York day . New York , I can't remember which one , but I like it when I smell it . When you're having this on , you walk by . I really do like to smell it .
It wasn't this one , but it was Neuroli Portofino Aqua , which is a basically a cheaper version . It's still their private blend , but it's like half the cost of this . Oh , is this a private ?
blend fragrance yes , so how much does something like this go for ?
I want to say for a 50 mil . You're probably spending close to 300 bucks for this . If I had to guess , I haven't been shopping . So a listener may email in and go oh , you're way off . Actually it's $237.38 .
It's a different smell and I love it . Yeah , I can say that . By the way , I know that our friend over at the scent room , austin he was explaining it and me being the asshole that I am . I was still perusing around the store like a candy store .
Yeah , this is what he was doing . He was going uh-huh , yeah , and meanwhile he's like , oh , is this a new Rashid ?
While Mike was actually engaging with him and learning stuff about how Neuroli's made . But Neuroli is like an orange scent right ?
Well , yeah , so the orange blossom note and the Neuroli note are made from , I guess , the same flower of orange blossom , gotcha . But the way they extract it , neuroli , is a different process . This is what Austin was kind of telling me , and I think I read it in an article somewhere too .
But basically they use some sort of force or pressure and it takes like a huge volume of orange blossoms , I guess , yeah , to make even just the smallest ounce or whatever . It takes so much to make it . And so because of that , I think Neuroli is a more expensive or elaborate type of aroma oil to use than , say , just regular orange blossom , I'm assuming .
Sure , again , we are not professionals , don't claim to be on this podcast . We are just two uneducated best friends giving their view on fragrances . Who happen ?
to know a lot about Neuroli . Yeah , yeah .
We're .
Neuroli specialists .
That's it All right .
So this has been out for 10 years . Yeah , so it's a pretty decently old fragrance , older than my children . It's trending hard and I can say and it's actually trended hard for quite a few years now and I can I can say why it's a good one . I'm really pleased with that .
I could imagine wearing this and I do like it on the skin , but I do love it on the card more . If you had this on your clothes , man , you would smell like a million bucks .
They also have a different private blend fragrance called mandorino de amalfi or something like that , which is very similar to this super citrusy but it's got more like orange notes or mandarin notes or whatever mandarin oranges , yeah , but it's very similar and smells great as well .
So I was looking at Portofino . Is that anything special other than just being a place in Italy ? I ?
think that's what it's about .
Italian fishing village . So are they saying like this is Neuroli from from Portofino I guess it's like smelling the orange blossoms of Italy .
I can imagine smell like that . Yeah , it has a nice citrus sort of not really aquatic , but you can like imagine like that summery citrusy vibe and then having the Neuroli . It's a very nice fragrance , it smells great . You feel like the blend on it is like right there . You know , the citrus with that Neuroli sort of vibe just goes really well together .
Yeah , the question is Ryan , who's wearing this ?
I'm going to say a man about six foot even . Yeah , here we go . Probably wear some some silly ass . Ray-ban glasses . Sounds familiar . Traits couches for haircuts .
Sounds like a frugal , smart man . Keep going , tell me how handsome he is . Very intelligent , very handsome , though . Well , never . I thought you were talking about me , my man . He went with handsome and intelligent and now he threw me off .
No , I do feel like , genuinely , this is probably a . I feel like you kind of got to be somewhat dressed up . You can go casual , but it's got to be dressy , casual .
Yeah , I think if you wear this with T-shirt and jeans , unless you have a certain look , yeah , I think you really need to look like Sean Mendez to wear this . I mean , that guy's like wearing . You know he's got Japanese cherry blossoms running up his button up shirt and , you know , white linen pants . I feel like he could wear this and get away with it .
Yeah , I can agree with that , for sure Were you looking up what he looked like ? No , I was actually seeing what celebrities . If there's a list , who has worn this ? Oh , got you Be kind of interesting , no if I had to guess .
I mean , I just saw a recent picture of Sean Mendez from , I think , vogue Italy or something posted it , I can't remember , and I was like , oh you know what ? I randomly go , I wonder what they're wearing fragrance wise , and I could , I could see him wearing this .
The list for the people that wear this is crazy . Hit me Celebrities known for wearing Tom Forge , neroli , portofino is Jamie Fox or something on there . Well , Eli Gooting , which is not bad . Bobby Brown Wait a second . Ellie Goulding yeah , that's her word . Yeah .
You did Well . She was also wearing tobacco veneer right .
Yeah , maybe she's a Tom Ford gal . She may . Yeah , ok , I'm in . Who's that I am ? I don't know how the hell that is . Jennifer Connelly , oh , ok , and Paul Bettany , bettany , I don't know . I don't know man , but I mean the known ones for sure . Bobby Brown wearing this is kind of interesting .
That is interesting , and it's his prerogative , yes , of course , to wear this . I do feel like , of all those celebrities , I feel like Jennifer Connelly definitely is a Ellie and Goulding or whatever . Yeah , definitely her . That fits her .
Yeah , this is probably what she's wearing in the summer . Then when it gets cool down in the fall she's thrown on tobacco veneer .
I can vibe that that actually may be her , her regimen .
Yeah , I'll reach out to her and see what she says . Hey , ellie , I know it's been a minute . I hope everything's still going well for you . Just curious , we still love in Tom Ford for the summer nights and the fall evenings .
¶ Comparing Prices, Quality of Tom Ford Fragrances
All right , skip it , sample it , buy it . What are you going to do , ryan ?
Well , if it's as pricey as you say it is , and you know what , with the power of the internet and the magic of editing , we're going to see oh , macy's has a 30 mil of this for $163 , and then a 50 mil is 263 . That is kind of pricey . And so a hundred emails 360 . So you're talking how much was a 30 ml ? 30 ml is only 163 .
Dude , you can get 30 mil on myfrequentsamplescom for 111 bucks , Damn that's pretty good .
Yeah , that is pretty good . Damn , that's pretty good . How much again 111 for a 30 mil of this this would be one for sure you wouldn't wear all the time because it's kind of a little bit classy , yeah , but man , that'd be one to keep in keeping the closet pull out every once in a while .
Well , I was going to say so . We were in Ulta and they were having a deal and I got now granted the Aqua . The Neuroly Portafina Aqua is cheaper by far , but I got a 50 mil bottle of that for 90 bucks .
Yeah , that's what it is . I just looked it up . Damn pretty good yeah .
So it's very similar in the smell . Now , these kind of die out pretty quick Both of them do , and Tom Ford's . There's this whole urban legend or whatever , that once they sold the Estee Lauder they started watering down the juice or whatever . Yeah , and it doesn't last as long . You better get those old batches , because I don't know anything about that .
I'm still a young buck in this whole game , but I will say I do agree , whenever I'm wearing Tom Ford I do notice it kind of die out a lot quicker than some of the niche brands that we've put on . You know , for similar prices to 300 bucks . I mean , a niche on a fragrance to 300 bucks is going to last all fucking day , yeah .
So I don't know , I don't know for me . I went ahead and grabbed it because I do have , for whatever reason , so a little bit of brand loyalty to Tom Ford and I really do like the Neuroly Portofino sort of vibe . For 90 bucks , for a 50 mil . I went ahead and jumped on the Neuroly Portofino Aqua .
I think the reason why I mean obviously you click with him because of he's in film and everything else .
Yeah , I like the dude , but it does Good style .
He does have a very unique vibe and style with his fragrances . They're very different . I mean , our first one , even together , was Ombré leather Right , and before that I'd never smelt a more realistic leather . I don't think I don't think I've still smelt in more realistic leather personally .
Or a leather that is so wearable and enjoyable . It's cool , I will say , with Tom Ford . The thing I do like , about the private blends at least , is that you know we've talked about this they pick one note Neuroly , leather , cherry , whatever . They pick that one note and that's the highlight of the note .
Then everything else kind of comes in and boost up that one note . You know the bitter peaches and the Rose cafe or whatever you know . They pick these individual and then kind of and I like that style , yeah , it for some reason resonates . So I appreciate that and I do like this fragrance . Is it for everybody ? No , do I even wear it ?
The one that I bought ? A lot , not a lot . I like to smell it every once in a while , especially when it's hot . It is a really refreshing smell . Yeah , it's refreshing , smells clean . So it's got citrus and then that Neuroly just smells like old school soap we're used to . Yeah , I think it's worth it . If definitely , sample this .
Yeah , I agree , but if you love it , man , it's going to be hard to beat the deal on myfragmentsamplescom 111 bucks for 30 mil .
Yeah , I mean , unless they're wanting a bottle , which I understand , wanting some physical things . But I do agree for that price . Yeah , I wouldn't want . I don't care about a bottle that much . That's a pretty damn good deal .
Yeah , it's a great deal , because I know that they also sell 30 mil bottles . At least in some of these they have the option to buy a 30 mil bottle . Yeah , for like you know from the fragrance house .
Yeah , oh , that's the parcels that he's doing .
Well , no , no , I'm talking about like . Tom Ford has a 30 mil bottle you can buy , ok . So they have 30 , 50 and 100 mil , at least in some of these styles . Or that's what I saw , at least with the Neuroly Portafino Aqua .
Yeah , but If I was going to spend money for 30 mil to get the OG and a Rolly Portofino , I would say , man , say 50 bucks and get 30 mil for Mark . That'd be the way I'd go .
¶ Promoting Our Fragrance Podcast
Yeah . Well , if you love episodes like this , the hard hitting facts , and you want to hear more , yeah , what can they do , ryan ? Well , you can make sure to punch that freaking bell on Spotify . Make sure to follow us , yeah . But , you could . Also , if you really want to help us , you could share a link out there let people know about us .
Yeah , we're tired of not existing and we're all fragrances Validate us .
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Here's the thing . We're giving you the ultimatum . If you really love us , we want you to stop what you're doing right now . Click that share button on Spotify , copy that link , take it on over to Facebook and scream it from the mountaintops . Seriously , We'd love you . We're just kidding , but seriously .
All right . Well , that's today's episode . What are we going to be previewing next ?
I think we go Mancera . I'm down with some .
Mancera . I've been wearing that lately .
Yeah , you and me both , brother , what you got for us Saharan , what's it called ? Saharan Wind , saharan Wind , oh is it new ? It's brand new . Couldn't get my hands on it , but you know who had it , who , mark Mobley over at MyFragranceSamplescom . I mean , it had just come out and he already had it up . Dang the dude is bad when it comes to selection .
Myfragrancesamplescom couldn't put enough positive things out there about it . We love it . Well , I'm ready for it . Let's try it . Let's do it . Spray it up , y'all Spray it up .
