Colm & Lucy In The Morning.. The Best Bits Ep 66

She's Lucy Kennedy. Classic hits rate. Now you can hear the

Uh you're gonna love this. So there's a great uh new list uh online at the moment. Yes. And it is it is the best taglines from movies. So I give you the tagline, these are And I guess the movie. And you guessed the movie. Right, let me close my eyes. Who are you gonna call? Ghostbusters. Well that's enough. Yeah, there you go. Okay, you like this, don't you? A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away.

Go again. No no you can't sing. Taglines. With great power comes great responsibility. Mission impossible? Oh with great power. Okay, I'm just applying for work. With great power comes great responsibility. Shum shum shum Mr Bean What did Mr Bean ever go sum thum? Because that's how he landed from the sky. No. Swing swing swing. No Are you okay? I'm fine actually, and I'm enjoying this game more than most. But Great Park comes co responsibility.

Superman. N nearly. No, I give up. Okay. What is it? Spider Man. Oh really? Yeah, see what it was. Yeah. Strange. I'll give you one more. We are never ever doing uh whose line is it anyway on the telly. His story will touch you even though he can't. Well that's a great line. Six cents. What? Six cents. No, no, no, no, no, no. That's easy dead. No no. His story will touch you even though he can't. There you go. That's brilliant. So the ghost. David, go on. Get in. Edward Scissors Hens. Yes.

Ah Edward Scissors hands. Tommy Surely Edward Scissor hands, isn't it? Yeah. His story will touch you even though he can't. It's clever, isn't it? Now Dave apparently is gonna give us one. And none of us are gonna guess it. That has to be real, Dave. Nothing just made up out of your head. What have we got, Dave? Go on then. Off you go. Hi guys. Uh this is Dave and Limerick. Uh probably the one one of the best movies ever. Uh Fear will hold you prisoner, hope will set you free.

Is it Sh Sh Shutter Island? Sh what's Shutter Island. Sh you've never seen Shutter Island? No. Got it. Got it. Shoshank. Yes. Shoshank. Is it? It's Shoshank. Shoshank. Shoshank Redemption. Okay, I'm gonna give you one, okay? Yep. Uh you ready for it? If you only see one movie this year you always use the same stupid voice. So stupid That's a voice over voice. That mo that has made me un Fifty, sixty quit in the last year. Right. If you only see one movie this year, you need to get out more.

Mamma Mia. No. No no no no no no no no. Did I go and see it? Uh you may have seen the originals. There's a new version just been made that looks absolutely brilliant. Oh Superman. Why would that be anything to do with Superman? Well there's a new Superman comes out every month. Um okay, oh eight seven one double eight troll zero eight. Don't Google it'cause then you just you're only fooling yourself. If you only see one movie this year, you need to get out more often. No?

No, nothing. There's a thing going around at the moment.

Uh you and you could jump you could well jump into this. It's maternity bags yes. So Alison online said the w the most weirdest o most unnecessary thing that you've packed or will be packing in your hospital bag for labour, what is it? She said I'll go first. I packed a framed picture of my dog. That is very bizarre. The picture frame of Chloe will be displayed in the labour ward.

It was followed by an equally weird message. Right. Weird item by Megan. I'm due next week, maternity bag packed, complete with a sea salt grinder. Oh wow. Um, for my good because hospitals never put enough salt on the food. They probably don't yeah. Well wha what's making me think about her is this is not her first rodeo. She's definitely a mum who's experienced possibly few births. She knows, yeah, yeah. What about Jilly who said I'm planning on bringing my son's Nintendo Switch and Tetris?

It's a good idea, actually. It's a good idea. When you think about it. It's a good idea. I don't I don't f I don't find that in any way unusual. Yeah, yeah. Studies show that playing Tetris for fifteen minutes can bring on contractions. There you are. Wow! With that in a big yoga bowl.

What did you stick in yours? Nothing unusual. And I wasn't one of these like birth plan people, you know, I like whale music and I like temperature like twenty two No. I just said, Listen, I love the coom, I I trust the consultants. Right. Whatever will be will be. I bought your bug standard mother care, which is now gone. Just so sad. Um Maternity bits and bobs and in I went. And my Snoopy Nighty. I loved the whole Maternity.

birthing experience. Right. Oh my God. I love the coom. I have a thing about it. Yeah. You get quite melancholic even if somebody mentions that they live near the coomb. I do, yeah. I do. Yeah. Would you like to maybe just sit in the coomb for a couple of hours a day?

Would you be a good money? I've asked them, I've asked them. I would have loved to have been a midwife and after having Jack pitched it to R.C. at the time. Did you? Yeah, and then Emma Willis did it a few day a few years later. I would have loved to be a midwife. But I don't know if I'd be good with anything sad. I'm I'm only kinda good with happy stuff. And because I am a bit of a worse I'd end up crying at most births.

And then maybe trying to steal the baby. Okay, right. So I don't know if mid referee would see her now that he thought. Yes, maybe that's why they said no. Uh Vanya wants to get in on this, so what have you put in your baby bag that's just not expected? O eight seven Wonderblade trouble zero eight.

Good morning, Lucine Coleman, Vanny here from uh Cork. I um I put something very very special in my bag for my second child. I I really enjoy that toast that they give you after you give birth, which is the best toast ever. However I'm I'm originally from Portugal and we really praise our charcuterie. Yes. So I had a very nice and tasty um salami in my bag. Um salami sausage I'm not so sure. It's just a type of chorizo. Yes. And that's what

I had with my toast so a lot of sustenance uh well deserved I felt at the time. And I actually put a picture on my socials and obviously my Portuguese friends were very much agreeable that that's the way to go. If your your little um your little slices of chorizo after

after having your baby. And it's great for breast milk, I suppose. Anyway, I love the show. Talk soon. Bye bye. Bye bye. Katrina. On the topic of weird maternity items. Go on. I brought a rubber duck. What 'Cause I was planning on having a water breath.

The water birth berth didn't work out and it's probably just as well'cause I think the poor duck might have been quite traumatized by the experience. Wow, a rubber joke. That's very interesting. So you went for a water berth. Yeah, yeah. What was that like? Had you ever considered that? No. No. I remember going into the coom with constipation and begging for an epidural and they said you're not in labour. So let's just say my pain threshold's not as high as as most people's.

How long have you known me? You've known me for like fifteen years and now you're asking me these. strange questions. Oh, this is just a story. Do I look like someone who'd want to give birth at home? Why what do they look like? Now I'm a pretty dab handed DIY. You're not. You're not a And well, I don't know if we can talk about your sink, can we? Oh, I can bring my sink into this conversation. What time does Anne listen now? She moved on to Marty.

I'm just worried if we mention under your She's fine under my sink, she's fine. Okay. She's quite happy with what goes on under my sink. Right, because I'm not It's technically a shared sink. I'm not. And if you're gonna come out here now and tell everyone that you're good at DIY, you're spoofing and including yourself. They've done a survey and they found that incredibly handsome, good looking men of my age.

They we don't need to go to the toolbox or our tool belt. We find we're like MacGyver. You're not MacGyver. We find enough things around that. No, and it it doesn't work. And then what happens is you've got like Things battle you're like a crazy professor, you're like Ryan Reynolds in his next movie. You're like the the the person that starts putting weird contraptions together and then if

God forbid anyone flushed at the wrong time. The whole ice would go up. So so my sink, I've had an issue with it over the years'cause of something that happened a long time ago. But uh but uh but it now I have it lifted up so the thing doesn't collapse with a with a sort of a wiry thing that attaches.

And then I have a basin underneath just in case something does happen. And then I have the bottom end of the sink balanced on a mug so it's keeping it tight up. No, you see, I can't. But nothing has dripped for months. And and it's not allowed to look under my sink. Your sink. Hm. We call it my sink. She wants nothing to do with it. Right. I'm using it as an experiment. For what? Well if it works, I'm gonna patent it.

It's not gonna work. Just pay a plumber. No. You're not that tight. I know you're not. Fifty one percent of people have admitted to having to call out a professional tradesman to fix the problem as a result of their DIY bungles. Yes. I don't see it as a bungle. It is a bungle. It's not a bungle. It is. This is why people are experts in that f in their field.

Yeah. This is what they do every day. Pay to get it done properly'cause nine times out of ten if you do it yourself it's not gonna work or you might make it worse as you have. Seventy one percent of people have admitted using a kitchen knife as a screwdriver.

Scissors to trim plants and hedges. I always use I always use tr scissors to trim my plants. And a kitchen knife is a screwdriver, isn't it? Kind of, depending on the knife, yeah. Kind of if you get a nice edge of it, yeah. I've ru ruined one or two, but then I don't use them again. Yeah. Uh credit cards to spread grout?

Good God, how wealthy are you that you can afford to have a couple of spare credit cards to spread grout to spread your grout. I sorry, I'm I I agree, I've not used my credit card. I have used an old extravision card. Wow. It's a great way to spread grout if you think about it. Give yourself a trial. Like what's a trial in deals? Two quid? Use a kitchen bowl to mix your wallpaper paste? Ah come on, yeah, everyone's done that. Sellotape to fix your leaky pipes? No.

Never. No, it doesn't. It'll get it'll it'll soak through axe the bowl. A rolling pin is a hammer? Yes. A broom stick to clear out your gutters? Yes. Yes. And Yeah, in fairness, what what the is there a machine to clean out your gutters? Yeah, it's a company that come along and spray it out. No. If you want to do it yourself, can I go down to Woody's and give me have you got the gutter cleaner? Probably yeah. They probably give you a liquid.

That you can open a ladder and stick into your gutters? Yeah, and they'd have to sweep it out. And finally, uh spoons to dig out weeds. Always. Well that must that that must have been what happened here. There's one teaspoon in the whole building. People are bringing them home to do what? To dig out their weeds. To dig out their weeds. Yeah. Why would anyone use it? Listen. Ah no no no'cause the scoopy bit it's like a small shop. If you want to get rid of your weeds, boiling water from a kettle

Dead. I n yeah, but you get to the roots. You do get to the roots. But you're not killing other stuff around like No no no no I'm talking about an isolated weed like you. You're an isolated weed. Thank you very much. I take that as government.

This is what I call cathartic therapy, right? Or C H. Oh no, that's C T, sorry. Um and it's there's a couple of things you could change about your friend. Okay, what happened was? Oh No, was it this morning? I said something and he went to the God that really annoys me about you, I'll put that down on the list. Oh And I said, Put that down on your list, you little creep. I see you've got a so you've got a thesis there. Yeah, like a thesis of fifteen things. Yeah.

And then I said there's lots about you that actually annoys me. Now we are best friends. You won't get a friendship tighter than ours. We've laughed, cried, celebrated, commiserated, we've done everything together. Bar get married. But the absolute never marry you. The absolutely things that I hate to do is that I'm not sure. The little delicious

That uh they sort of when you have a friend, right, a really good friend, and think about and a partner, okay? Oh, it's seven wonderful eight shows are the one single thing you can change, right? The one single thing because it doesn't mean that you don't dislike them, it's just But then I was thinking about this. That they're sort of the things you embrace as well. Absolutely. And they're kind of the things you like. Yeah. So will I go first? Yeah, okay, because go ahead.

It's not really it's not really about your personality'cause I love your personality. No no no no no, you just go for it. I d I cake when you do that. No I've been I've been really genuine. Listen, I don't hold back. Like I can't abide your shirts. I don't hold back. Wow, okay. But my I have two great well, three gripes like you. One you snore. Yeah.

It's like snoring I have never heard in my life. Just to say Lucy can hear me snoring through a wall. Yeah. Uh and it's only on on occasions when we've been out celebrating. So so therefore I would have ha I would have been thirsty and drank quite a lot of liquid. Yeah. The other thing is you make everything about yourself. Yeah. Okay. So if I came in and went got a terrible sleep, you'd go, Well

I only slept for two minutes. It's a talent. And then I nearly died in my sleep. It's a talent. And then the third thing annoys me about you is you find it very hard to accept other people's opinions, be it political, religious or whatever it is. Whereas. I can sit down with the enemy and listen to their opinion. and then give them mine and walk away. I don't get emotional because Sometimes you can't change people's opinions and they are entitled.

to their own opinion and I am a great believer in freedom of speech. Not hate speech, but freedom of speech and listen. I'm not gonna go down that road because I'm not gonna go down the last road. Oh and also I don't like your feet. And when we were in Knox Hotel two weeks ago, you called into my room, I was trying to go to sleep with a glass of wine and a bottle in the other hand, wearing no socks and shoes saying Do you want to have a chat? Yeah.

So that's it. They are the four things. They are the only four things. Your feet, your snoring. We could change them with an operation on your feet and we could stick something up your nose. And then the fact that you Are very self centered. You always talk about yourself. I I have no problem with other people's opinions, but I just don't I I am very highly opinionated and I like a good argument. No.

Here's the thing, right, okay, I'll just be very quick with you then because we're running out of time. You told me you'd be fifteen, that's why I went for it then. I need to be careful. Okay, like I I What you mean be careful?

Go for it. Well I was just thinking I mean it's just exactly what you did there and I think we're all friends. In the past when I met you, in the past you were remarkable. Now you're just past remarkable. Right. That's all you do. And I was thinking about this last night and I'm gonna go with one comment and one comment only. You remind me of a tint of chopped tomatoes.

Do you know when you get a good tin of chopped tomatoes, right? There are bits in it, like the little greeny bits and the little green. Wait a second, who has green bits in their tin tomatoes? But the rest of it is really, really good. So you you make do with a pfft because you know you're getting a good tin of it. You want to spit on me?

No.'Cause you get a good tin of choch tomatoes. Um and the other thing is and Jeremy will agree with this and I'll just end here, when you actually look actually you could cut you could give somebody a paper cut with your tongue. Yeah, I know. Your tongue is so sharp.

It is so I'm a dirty fighter. No, it's social exactly yeah. I am a dirty fighter, yeah. And you try to be this all clean Hail Mary sort of person. But we know deep down that you're not. I am a very nice person, but I don't take any crap. No, you're not a very nice person. And the other thing Why are you so red and nervous and shaken? Oh yeah, this is the other thing we were thinking about. You c We

Oh that little rat that little rat outside. Jeremy, I will Jeremy just you apart. Jeremy just mentioned this. You have this ability to make people feel very uncomfortable. Oh my god, would that not be a good thing? No, not really. Because I will lead you into battle. Yeah, yeah. And uh there's this we need to go to news now, but there's another six. Okay, let's go let's do them. I c I also had another I I also imagined you as a rugby ball as well.

You are sort of a rugby. If you were if you were anything you'd be a rugby ball. In other words As you're about to land, you don't know which way you're gonna go. You know that with a rugby ball? You don't know whether it's gonna go left or right or forward or back and you're going, Oh, here she comes Oh we didn't expect that. So you're like a tin of chopped tomatoes on a rugby ball. That you want to spit on Column and Lucy in the morning Wherever you get.