Hey, it's Willow here. So glad you hopped on the Collide podcast. I love hanging out with you every single week and absolutely love getting to sit down with people who are seeing God show up and do amazing things right where they're at. And today I got to sit down with Alison. I. This young woman blows my mind. Mind on many levels for many reasons. I actually heard about her. Friend of mine sent me a video of her song that was going viral, and then today, I got to sit down and talk to her.
She released a song, being a voice for her generation, speaking to people about mental illness and Jesus, and it traveled across the globe and reached about 1.3 million people and counting. And so I got to sit down with her today and talk about what that experience has been like, but on a deeper level, why she wrote the song, why people are taking to it, what she thinks is going on with mental illness, and how she can help her generation. So listen in on this inspiring story.
Alison, it is so good to have you on the podcast. Yes. Thank you so much for having me. I'm very excited. Yeah, it's kind of a funny moment because I had a friend actually send me your song a few months ago, and so this is fun to have you on. I came into work today, and they were like, allison is on today. And I'm like, sweet, let's do this. There's so many things I want to ask you, but you've had this newfound. This newfound experience.
But I know the way the Lord works, and I know he's probably been working in your story for years, and now maybe you're getting some attention for. For what you're doing. But there are people who spend their whole life hoping that God can use them and their giftings to do something to impact other people. And you put a song out this last year, and within, what was it, a few weeks of Release, you reached 1.3 people around the world. That's actually crazy. Can you tell us what that felt like?
Oh, my goodness. Great question. Well, it's so interesting because when I wrote this song, I grew up doing music kind of my whole life. Like, my dad was a worship artist and songwriter named Peter Eyed, and I grew up touring with him in middle school and high school. So I, like, saw the music thing done forever and loved writing songs and released a little bit, too, before this first true single. So I kind of, like, saw what it looks like for a song to take off, for a song just to exist.
And I just love doing music. And then when I wrote Love, who I am specifically January of 2023. I remember from finishing it in, like, two days. And the Lord pressed on my heart very specifically, saying, this song is for millions. And I was like, I don't know how that's supposed to happen. So I was like, I have 2,000 followers on Instagram, 200 monthly listeners on Spotify. Like, very much not a name at all out there.
Just little indie gal, daughter of a musician, doing music and loving it with a vision, passion. But I was like, I have nobody. And then I just remember the Lord saying, like, trust in me. This is for millions. So I held that song kind of close to me for, like, seven months or so, eight months. And then I was like, I think it's time to release this. And then decided to just, like, make the song and put it out there on social media. That was my only form of advertisement.
And two days after it released, I woke up one morning. One video had gone viral. And then after that, everything else was going viral after. And it was reaching people all over the world very quickly. And my, like, DM box was filled with so many testimonies. And I was like, is this actually happening? Like, did I just have a song, like, kind of go viral? And over the course of the following months, it just continued to reach a lot of different people. And I think the most.
I mean, it's a little surreal. You're like, is it happening? But the most meaningful part that, like, really wrecked me was reading each story of where someone encountered the song, how they found it. I think there was, like, one woman. I remember this specifically, but she. In some other country. I don't. Somewhere in Europe, this woman was in a hospital, hooked up to a lot of IVs and different things for an autoimmune disease she had.
And she said, I was texting my husband how much I hate my body. And then your song came on my feed, and I wept in the office, in the hospital. And it's like, those moments for me, I was like, the Lord would, like, allow my voice to, like, insert itself into someone's, like, vulnerable moment. I've never met them before. They're, like, way out in this different world. And I just felt like, I'm honored, Lord. You would use my voice or these words to meet someone in a really specific moment.
So it was surreal. I was kind of overwhelmed the entire time last fall. Oh, I bet. I bet you still are. I can't even imagine. I mean, it sounds like the Lord has shown you your why now you're hearing all these people Say, this song speaks to me. This song ministers to me. It's impacted my life. Did you have those people in mind when you wrote the song? Mm, I think. I think I did.
I found the song came from my own experience as a college athlete and struggling with body image and, like, really struggling with performance and, like, not feeling good enough at all. And I knew I related to the song, and I felt that there was a need that people needed to hear it as well. But when I saw the testimonies in real life, it confirmed. I'm like, wow, Lord, you knew this was a need when you told me, like, this is the proof. And that was really encouraging.
This song is called Love who I Am. And you're going into spaces now and seeing people sing these lyrics, and then you're hearing all of these stories. What do you think is going on for people that they needed these words so badly? Mm. I think the song itself and why it impacted me to start with, and then so many other people was, it doesn't have the perfect answer or perfect solution. It just allows someone to not be okay.
And I think that's really validating and helps people feel seen and known. It was just this idea that as Christian girls or women or men, all of the above, like, we know that God loves us. We know it in our brain. We study it, we learn it, but in total transparency. Sometimes it's hard to know. Like, I'm struggling to love me, even though I know God loves me, and how can I get there? And I think the wrestle can sometimes feel isolating.
And I think the song just helps pull people out of that isolation and into belonging and knowing that they're not the only one. And I just also believe that the heart of Jesus does not repel our mess. He totally draws near to it in a song that allows us to be a mess so Jesus can, like, come close. That was. That's why I think people love the lyrics and. And somehow it just applies to each different scenario they're in.
Like, body image or, like, physical illness or performance, athletics, education, friendships. Like, I don't know. I think it applies to all things. So that's what I've experienced thus far. Yeah. So when you were younger, you were in this place where you felt like you weren't living to. You said performance, and were you kind of feeling a mess when these words just came out of you?
Yeah. I specifically remember I played college basketball for University of Northwestern, and during those years, it was like a rollercoaster of a journey. Waking up every morning feeling Like, I'm not athletic enough. I'm not fast enough. Do I have abs still? Like, waking up in the morning, looking in the mirror. Are my legs skinny like my teammates? Am I a true athlete? Are my stats perfect? Like, it was really surrounded around sports and then also getting on stage and singing.
I was like, is my voice good enough? I messed up that note. And it was just this, like, spiral constantly of so many things confirming that I wasn't good enough. Like, a pile of it. And I remember being in my bedroom writing this song. And I wrote the bridge lyrics, which says, if I'm honest, I want to leave my skin. I'm so exhausting to live in.
And after I wrote that lyric, I just started crying, like, just weeping because I was like, that's the first time I've been able to fully express how it feels to be in my body, in my brain. And it was freeing. It was validating. And I think those are the moments when all the tough things are, like, brought under the light. That Jesus just totally wraps you in, and he's like, I know how you're feeling. Like, that's okay. I get it. And so, yeah, that's the place I was in when these words came out.
And still to this day, total transparency as well. Like, a week ago, was sitting in my car in tears, still struggling with body image and relationship with food and being an athlete and in the changes of life. And, like, I was like, I want to leave my body right now. And I'm listening to the lyrics of my song a year ago or a month or however long ago, and I was like, wow, this still hits.
So. Yeah. Yeah. Well, it's so interesting because you said something a few minutes ago about how the heart of Jesus doesn't repel our mess. I think that's what you said. Is that what you said? Yeah. He doesn't repel our mess. I love that so much. Yeah. I mean, because we talk all the time around here about colliding with Jesus and the idea that, like, we can run into him with all we have going and he can handle it all. He can handle all of our pain, our mess, our brokenness.
And I think there's this belief out there that somehow, yeah, like, he loves me, but he can't handle, like, this thing, this space, or this room in my heart or this, like, this thing that I am partaking in or this thing that I keep doing or whatever, because I've already talked to him about a hundred times, so I can't talk to him about it. Again. Or. Or he's already, like, set me free from it, and now I'm back here or whatever. So we always kind of push Jesus away when we feel messy.
We push other people away, too. That's what we do in relationships when we feel messy. Right. We push away. So, yeah, you. I want to talk to you about that because you're the founder of Moment Ministries, and I want to hear more about that. But it sounds like you have a huge heart for. For drawing people out of isolation into a sense of belonging. So tell us about that work you're doing. Yeah, totally.
I mean, just with what you're saying, the repelling of the mess, we think that's the Lord, but he draws near to it. The thought that came to mind was I was reading this book called Gentle and Lowly, which talks about the heart of Jesus from a biblical perspective. And the word compassion in scripture, in the original language, literally translates to, like, your guts or your, like, central, like, being of your body.
And it says in scripture that having compassion, Jesus, compassion for the broken, his, like, literal internal self lunges forward to the broken like he's a magnet to what's broken. So it's so funny how we limit the Lord thinking, well, now I'm too much, or, he's probably tired of my cycle in this. But it's like, no, the more broken, the more a mess we are, the more he draws near, which is such a gift. And so that came to my mind. But yes, Moment Ministries.
So back in 2018, right out of high school, I totally felt this, like, need. Not need, but call to really pour into young middle school and high school girls. I remember when I was in middle school, like, I kept hearing from older girls and stuff, like, just, like, survive middle school. Get through it. It sucks, but once you're done, it gets better. So then I got to high school and have all these college girls saying, like, just survive high school. It's really bad. It sucks.
Once you make it to college, freedom, it's great. And I got to college and literally was struggling with the same thing. I was in sixth grade, and I was like, okay, one time doesn't solve anything. Two, if God designed us to live in these young years, then he has to have way more purpose for them than just survival. Like, there must be beauty to that time. And so I went on this little adventure of, what is that beauty? And how can we, like, mold girls into knowing that?
Like, raise them up into knowing the beauty and identity they have right now in the skin and the body? They live in and so summer 2018, I decided to just host middle school and high school girls camp that inspired and equipped them to discover their identity in Christ and walk away with the tools to keep growing and discovering who they are. And we've done the camps every summer since then and they're in the Twin Cities in Minnesota. But amazing sweet moments.
Just yeah, ministry and girls like having aha. Moments of like, oh, I can love myself, right? This is who I am. So that's what it is. As women, we have diverse stories, experiences and backgrounds, but we all share the universal experience of pain. We all have baggage, grief, fear, insecurities, disappointment and unmet dreams at collide. We aren't afraid of the mess and pain that life inevitably brings. In fact, we enter into pain because we are certain that God does too.
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This is who I am. So that's what it is. I love that so much. And I think you being honest and authentic about your mess and and your struggle to like yourself is giving other girls permission slips to say, hey, like I'm struggling to like myself. And I think it sounds to me like you're also not promising you're going to have a come to Jesus moment and then that battle is is going to go away. We still, all the time, no matter what age we are, need Jesus to show up in our mess, right?
So a Middle schooler in seventh grade needs to know that just because she comes to camp doesn't mean, uh, that she's not gonna have a day where she doesn't like herself in eighth grade. Right. Like, it's all about inviting Jesus into those moments. So I love that you're doing that. When you think about that experience, is there, like a. A story or a kid that you think of where you realized, wow, this is really tracking with these girls.
Like, where a girl shared with you what was going on in her and how she was taking to, like, Jesus's love for her in a way that made her love herself. You know, it's funny how there are moments of, like, breakthrough, but the one that comes to mind is this lovely gal named Anna. She's actually in college now, but she went to the camps, like, all through high school. And she has been on this journey of learning how to love herself. And I think there have been.
What's so beautiful about what the Lord's done in her life is there's this, like, thread of moments of overcoming and then really hardship and tears, but then overcoming that. And it's like this rhythm of continually, like, overcoming and finding the joy that I think has been beautiful to watch.
So the four or five years that I've gotten to know her, from the first moment she told me about what she was struggling with and in tears to, like, now as she's a college athlete and doing life, there have just been these moments where she is full of joy and walking in confidence, and then a moment where she's, we're in the living room and actually played Love Hawaiian for the first time for a couple girls. And then she starts crying and is like, I'm struggling again.
I can't, like, let go of these habits. And I'm trying to learn to love myself, but it's so hard. And I think the joy has been seeing the Lord continually show up for her, and the Lord continually bringing her on top of another mountain and getting through the climb. Because, honestly, I just think life itself, from when we're born to when we go see the Lord, is just a sum of a bunch of moments.
We are overcoming hardship after hardship, but the fact that the Lord draws near to the mess makes every hardship actually turn into victory. Like, there's nothing that the Lord wastes. There's nothing that the Lord gives up on. Like, he's literally his heart draws near to the worst so he can turn it into the best. And so I think watching Anna specifically and other girls go through a thread of moments of overcoming to this day has been the greatest joy.
Allison, I don't know if you are familiar with the CDC's recent, the health organization's recent. In the last year, they sent something out. It came across my desk and your generation. And I say your generation because I could be your mom. But I think we need to talk about this. Your generation is struggling with mental illness perhaps more than any generation there's ever been suicidal ideations.
The rate of suicide, the rate of depression in young teenage girls is skyrocketed through the roof. And I'm curious, what do you think is going on? And does it feel like God is raising up other people with you? Because it feels like he's used using your voice to speak into mental, emotional, spiritual health in an incredible way. Does it feel like God is on the move and he's raising people up in your generation to help enter into the pain that your generation's feeling? Yes, yes, yes, yes.
I being a part of my heart is so with Gen Z and with that age group, because I'm like, in that group. But yes, in agreement. I have seen the stats and also seen personally how confused and anxious and like, there's so much noise, so many voices more than ever before because of social media, because of everything we have access to now that, like, middle school, high school, young adult, in our, like, moldable brains, we're receiving this all.
And I'm like, there's so much confusion, so much noise and anxiety surrounding how to just know who we are. And simultaneously through social media, the Internet, everything we have access to. We've never had more voices available to us speaking about Jesus and speaking identity into us. To me, it's just this mixed bag of like, such, like, just difficult mental health and yet so many voices that are actually speaking truth. And so to me, it just feels like chaotic and beautiful at the same time.
And I'm honored that the Lord would even have my voice be part of anyone's lives in my generation. Like, the amount of messages I've got from Love who I Am or the ep. Actually, we released Love who I Am, the ep, which is a project of five songs following that one. But. And they're all about Jesus and mental health.
But the amount of messages that just received where someone was like, I was dealing with self harm five minutes ago, and then your song came up, or I was in my car, not sure if I wanted to keep going, and your song came on Spotify, like, the fact that the Lord would take something that, like social media that could be so toxic, but still turn that into good. So I'm like, lord, give me discernment.
Give all the voices that are bringing Jesus discernment in how to reach these people in the right way. So something I also share that I think our generation needs more than ever is the quiet. I think because there is so much noise, to be able to, like, put the AirPods and iPhone down and just be quiet and still, I think would actually change the generation on a very radical scale.
And it says all over Scripture and even in Genesis, like, to Sabbath, to be quiet and to be still is how we were designed to be. And I think we're disconnected from that right now. So I just wonder what would happen if we all knew how to really become quiet, not just, I guess, externally, but like, internally. How do we quiet our thoughts and how do we just be still and exist as we are? I wonder. You know, it's interesting to me, Allison, because the pain is real.
It's real in your generation, it's real in mine. I had a woman stop me yesterday who has been wanting to end her life, and it's just all around us. And I think on some level, many of us could just get really, really focused on what we need to do, what we are doing, what's going on in our lives, our families, our own mental health. There's never many people like you who would say, say, I actually want to be a voice piece for my generation.
I actually want to help them while also getting my self help. I actually want them to know Jesus's love and healing while I'm also trying to cling to it myself. Why do you think? What is it that made you say, I want to be a part of helping and healing people while I also, at the same time, need some help and healing? That's a really good question. Yeah, mental health and healing totally been a part of my story since I was a kid.
I actually struggle with an anxiety disorder and I have since I was 10 called obsessive compulsive disorder and struggled with that since I was 10 and wasn't even diagnosed until I was 21. And through the rollercoaster of life and confusion and just being like, why am I not normal? Why am I not just fine?
Um, the one thing that was always there for me amidst church and the Lord and family and community, the one thing that always met me were songs, like a song that an artist wrote that I listened to and it got me to the next day, or a song that gave me reason to get out of Bed and keep going. And the way I saw how songs could, like, be allowed in, like, the private moment of somebody and change their life and pick them up and help them, like, move forward, I was like, that's so powerful.
And I want to do that. Like, if I can provide a song that helps someone know that they are not alone, that they actually are not isolate, not isolated in what they're going through, then I will have done my job. Then I will have opened the door and planted a seed for someone to know Jesus then. And I think the way that that happens is by being as real as I can be and being like, I'm still figuring this out.
I actually don't know what I'm doing half the time, but I know the heart of Jesus, and he doesn't change. And so this is what it looks like to be free in Jesus with a thorn in your flesh. And that's just. That's just me. So that's kind of where it came from. I love it so much. I love that you're using your life to help other people. And it's so important. I think about people listening Allison, right now, who they can't see the light right now. Feels like things are heavy.
It feels like there's darkness. It feels like maybe they're giving up hope. They don't love the skin they're in. Maybe they have a diagnosis that they wish wasn't theirs. I don't know. What's your advice for them today as they listen? Oh, man, what's my advice? I'm like, what can one say that would even. What would help me when I'm in that moment?
I think the biggest thing is if they can know that in the struggle and in the mess, that Jesus is so eager to draw close to it and that there's nothing they have to hide. There's nothing they have to call too much or not enough or whatever the, like, limiting factor is. They can know their full messy, nasty, horrible feeling self is exactly what Jesus wants to hold and come close to. That's what I would probably tell them. And that's the heart of Jesus.
And I guess in that I think of Second Corinthians 12, 8, 10, and it says, paul's talking about the thorn in his flesh. He says that three times. I asked the Lord to take it away, and he didn't. The Lord said, instead, my grace is sufficient and my strength is made perfect in you. And it occurred to me when it says, when I'm weak, then I'm strong, that the weakness in us is actually the gateway for the Lord to make us strong, then we literally don't have to be anything.
We don't have to show up and do anything. We can just exist. And the Lord loves to take what the enemy uses for evil and turn it for good. And if that is true, then us being who we are as we are is actually a walking victory at all times. And so I'd share that as well. I just, yeah, people can know who the heart of Jesus is. I think that changes everything. It did for me.
It literally, I went from feeling like I had to strive and fix and get rid of something to going, actually this is exactly what the Lord wants to use to impact the rest of the world. So that's. Well, thank you, Allison, for. For that wisdom and spiritual insight. You know, we started our conversation out today talking about this song that blew up, right, that traveled across the world and how absolutely nuts that is. And you said something really interesting to me.
You said, oh, I had released songs before this song. I want to bring that back up because I think there's people listening to you who they're being faithful to the thing they're called to do. They're doing the thing. And maybe it doesn't feel like God's touched down on it in a way where it's gotten attention or it's blown up or it's become something that a lot of people notice. What do you make of that?
When you think about who Alison ide was before 1.3 people across the world knew this song, you were still the same person, the same artist, the same voice, the same heart. So what do you make of that? Such a good question. It actually reminds me of a story. Before Left who I am, before all of that, I had done a like house spring tour.
This was back in 2023 spring, where I traveled to like different houses and like small churches around the Midwest doing free shows and just sharing these unreleased songs. Nobody knows. And which was such a grind. Like there is one route, drove 12 hours. Yeah, we drove 12 hours to Ohio, Cincinnati, and did a house show for like 30 people. And I didn't even know these people. It was just a piano in this house.
Most people were like old lovely parents, people who just loved just listening to new music. But there was one girl, 18 year old girl, who came with her mom and they sat like in the front out of the four rows of chairs. I remember playing Love who I Am for the first time for a group of people. And as I sang that song, I looked over And I saw this 18 year old girl and her mom just like welled up with tears and I was like, whoa.
And I got up and actually walked over to her and she stood up and like hugged me and like I hugged her and I was like, she was like so impacted by the song. I'm like, lord, if you, if you had me drive 12 hours here just for this one girl to hear this song, that means you must care deeply about the individual more than even I can understand. And I'm like, Lord, if that's why, then it was worth the entire trip and the grind, my heart was so fulfilled by that.
And now that everything like the, the song spread out wide to millions of people for some reason I look at both sides of that and I go, both are the same value. And my heart is overflowing from both the one person and also just the widespread of the millions. And so if anybody is going after something the Lord called them to and they're not seeing this like grandiose number of what's happening or stats or it feels like it's wasted. I can promise you with all my heart it is not wasted.
God does not call you to something to have it be wasted. And also the Lord orchestrates things in a beautiful way that's better than we can imagine. And it sucks in the moment. You're like, but I'm not seeing that at all. I'm like, I get that I've been, I've grinded the music life since I was like seven years old basically. But I can promise you the Lord does not waste anything. So trust that he will bring it to fruition. Let yourself dream and have vision.
Even if you can't see it in the moment, it is worth it. I love it. Such a good word. It seems like God has just sort of like blown your dreams out of the water. So what do you hope happens next? Oh man, I, I music has been the dream forever and so getting to make songs and share them with people and getting to help people know they're not alone in the mess, that is the dream. I love performing, I love creating a show and like singing with a bunch of people.
But I just really hope that as you keep releasing songs and doing shows and making projects, that the Lord's impact would be deep and that I would get to meet the individuals along the way. And yeah, right now we're working on, we just released the EP For Love who I Am and going on a tour this summer, a couple shows this spring, and then a fall tour as well. To be able to connect with all the people in person and more music is to come. I mean, I'm in the studio right now.
My producer and I, before this podcast, we're grinding out some songs so that I'm so excited to share. Like, I can't, but that's what's coming. Awesome. Well, I'm looking forward to it. How can we follow along with you and what you're doing? Yeah, I love, love to be active on social media, Instagram, TikTok, YouTube. We're launching really soon as well. And so if anyone wants to connect personally, I would love to connect with them over those apps. You can follow me just Alison Eide music.
It'll come up and yeah, or you can go to allisoneide.com to hear and see about what's happening with tour merch. Other exciting things coming up and those are the best places. But we will see you guys hopefully in person at some point. Love it. Allison, thank you so much for being on the Collide podcast. Thank you for having me. I'm so grateful, friend. I hope you enjoyed hearing Allison's story as much as I did.
I don't know about you, but I absolutely love hearing stories of people who in the middle of their pain and brokenness, God not only meets them in that place, but uses them there too. That is my story and it might be yours. Or maybe you need to be reminded today that it's possible that you don't have to go out and get perfect and get put together that God sits in your mess. Jesus is a. Is a God who collides with people in their pain. I think about the Jesus who ran into the tombs and.
And met the man who was naked and he was considered crazy and he was cutting himself and he was isolated. And Jesus went out of his way to meet this man. And by the time they got done hanging out, this man was dressed, he was in his right mind. He loved Jesus so much, he begged to go with Jesus when Jesus left the tombs. And I think, man, like, we have this beautiful God who enters our mess, but he also uses it. So if you need that reminder, hold on to it.
This week, God is meeting you in the real and the messy and he can use it there too. And Allison's story is such a reminder of that. So I encourage you to go listen to our song, share it with some young people who it might encourage. Share it with old people. I don't know. Share with everyone. And if you are struggling with having hope right now, if you feel like you're in darkness, if you're steeped in depression, if you just feel like God is a million miles away. We want to help you.
And if we can help you, we will help you. So check out our [email protected]. we have a million resources on there. We have a counseling program. We have an online counseling bundle where you can spend 12 sessions with counselors teaching into your life. We have an anxiety guide. There's a million resources. So many podcasts with counselors. So if you're in a place where you need some help, we want. We want to be that place for you. Keep colliding, friend.
Keep letting Jesus show up in your mess. We'll catch you next week.