Episode 26 BEcoming embodied physically, mentally, and emotionally with Brittney Carbone

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episode. Hello, everyone. I'm super excited for the Colleen Gallagher podcast and we're having another conversation with a deer so Sistar with an S car. I met at a really interesting event. And it was just fascinating. But we both actually had social anxiety. That's how we met and like I got out of my car. And I was like Do you know anyone to ignite social anxiety? Is it me too. And so we like became friends and locked

in together. So anyway, her name is Brittany, I'm going to have her introduce herself and share what it is you desire. And we'll go through the conversation together. Yay. Oh my gosh, thank you so much for having me. I have to back up really fast. Because it's so funny. I was actually doing an Instagram story in my car about how I was nervous to get out of my car and luckily walked by and I was like, a person by yourself, aren't we my friend. But my name is Brittany

carvone. And I allistic health coach, I am a speaker and soon to be author putting it out there in the universe. Yeah, I know, we were just talking about it before this, a lot of my audience they have either become authors, or they want to become authors, or they some of them a lot of them have bought my programme, how to write, publish and monetize your book. So it's super exciting. And tell us a little bit about your story. I mean, I know I can

go into it. But I love for you to share it how you want to and you can dive deeper into it together. Absolutely. So where do I start which part? Let's start like kind of how you grew up like kind of the family. I know some of my audience knows. So I was an only child in the group, the two lawyers very black and white was very colourful, Brittany and I were just going through my Oracle Card Deck. And so going with lawyers have any creature card deck, it's like, very opposite.

But anyway, we'd love to hear you know, kind of start there and then walk us through the different events. Yeah, awesome. Okay, so I grew up in San Clemente California. Back then it was like a super small little surf town. And now it's a lot bigger, but it's still I guess, pretty small, comparatively. So grew up there. I grew up in a pre normal

household. My parents owned a business together, an employment agency, they built our house, we grew up in like a really affluent neighbourhood, like a little tiny street with 11 houses in a white gate. I think we actually kind of bonded on the fact that like, back then it was really interesting how my mind at that time, my life like really tried to convince me that I had it hard like that my life was really tough. The truth was,

everything was handed to me. And guess my parents again still work and you know, we have to like do our chores and earn allowance and things like that. But for all intents and purposes, my life was a breeze. But my mindset really had me believe that it was very tough. And that was kind of like a interesting thing about my mind growing up as I felt like the

world was stacked against me. My mind was super affixed to what I didn't have versus being grateful for what I do have and and so you know growing up lots of like insecurity uncomfortable in my skin. And when I was in high school, guess what kind of fast forward or not even high school I guess it was junior college but what's the thing called before high school junior high Junior High? Oh yeah. Junior High. When I was and junior high, like really started to get obsessed with like body.

And, and felt like not small enough, it was always about being smaller and tinier and more compact and taking up less space. And, and then I found alcohol. And at that point is when like, my whole life totally changed. And I found a magical substance that took away every fear and insecurity in an

instant, just so fast. And and Yeah, and so although High School and and junior high, it was very much like, get like keep it together, you know, I didn't want I was like an everyday drinker, but it was on the weekends when I could find like let go, it would turn into like total blackout drinking. And everyone else was like pretty normal, they'd have a couple drinks and I was the one like, taking shots and being like, let's do this, I was like a frat frat boy and like a 13

year olds body. Um, but again, like held it together on the outside quote, unquote. And it but like, totally just dying on the inside, just is like swings of highs and lows that I guess it could have been, you know, I could have said I was like, had bipolar disorder, or suffer from depression or whatever it was. But really, it was a lot of like, anxiety during the week, and then this go out on the weekends and then followed by a

huge crash. And then that kind of translated the same exact way, like throughout my whole high school. And then I went to a junior college, I played soccer. And that kind of kept me in line. Then I went to UCLA. Again, like, I didn't have sports at that time. So the structure was completely gone. And then it went like total hot mess Express. And then yeah, I graduated college and got sober when I was 22. So those 11 and a half years ago, incredible. Things are variants. I know it's so beautiful.

There's so many things, there's three things I want to touch on specifically that you said that were so important one is feeling like we have everything handed to us. There's a lot of people I feel like in this audience that not necessarily maybe they grew up in them, but they have a great job, they're making at least more than enough money to get by. And that's never an

issue. But there's still these constructs in their mind of I'm making $100,000 or making $200,000 or making $400,000 a year, or whatever that is, but they still aren't happy. And so I want to circle back to that. But I want to talk about the other two things to the other one is when you said I wanted to be small and take up the least amount of space, I feel like in my audience specifically talking about they're open, like being open and taking up space as a

problem. It's kind of like, I'll just take what I meant to take my little thing and like I don't want to take anything more, I don't want to be demanding, I don't want to do anything that like would upset the stage. So always take less than when I deserve. I always ask for less. And so I think that's a really another one. And then the third one is we had another woman on the episode on a podcast episode two, and she was actually had childhood drug addiction and alcoholism as well, which I

might have been 1314. But around there. Yeah. And so I want to go deeper into that, to your perspective, looking back on that age range and not die, like dynamic or duality. But yeah, first let's go to kind of the, when you first met, or you first have this awareness that you had great parents or a great life, but you still have like this prism in your mind, like talk to us about how you even came to

that awareness. And then what you still do to overcome that because I feel like many of us overcome that daily still. Yeah, you know, it's so interesting, because I vividly remember my mom being like, how could you be unhappy? You have everything and she was right. And I resented the shit out of her for it. I was like, you don't know the darkness that exists in my mind. And you don't understand it because my mom grew up, you know, with what's I think six, five or six brothers

and sisters. And they didn't have much but she always had a really positive mindset about it and was like, we had everything we needed even though if you if you were to ask her brothers and sisters if they'd get nothing. And so it was really my mom was really good at like her mind creating whatever her reality was, and looking at things that really good positive aspect for me. i It's like I almost like like to be in the misery. So I would create the misery that wasn't existent. Like if it

wasn't there like that. They have a brand new BMW, but I have a BMW, like they have a brand new one or like their parents give them $400 A week for allowance and I only get X amount whatever it was, I would always create it. Everyone else had more and better than me, and I wasn't enough. And so where did where did it come to inclusion. It really wasn't until I got sober. And I got it's like I like woke up. And I remember my first you know, go

to 12 Step programme. And my first sponsor in that programme was like, we did this in the steps you kind of take an inventory of your life and I, when I was doing my resentments against my mom, because you write out what you're so mad about. And I was like, I sound like a five year old throwing a tantrum. It was like, I remember, like reading it out loud to her. And like, I am so embarrassed, like, I just felt I got really present to the fact

that I was so ungrateful. And like, yes, I would show kind of gratitude a little bit when I was growing up, but not really, because I just, I wanted more I wanted and I wanted everything given to me. And so it was just the like act of saying it to somebody else. And realising how friggin hard my mother worked to create what she like, it makes me wanna cry, like the amount of just not been grateful. Like, I just can't believe how Am I insane is 2020. But it's like,

she did everything. She was like a frickin superhuman superhero that sacrificed everything for us to give us like the best life possible. And now looking back, I'm like, wow, like, that's, you know, it's crazy. So So I think two things, I want to go into one, I think I mean, I'm such a big believer in gratitude. Every day I wake up, and I feel like I put my hand on

my heart. And it's interesting, I can feel as days and years have gone on, as I've done this, there's actually almost like a white light pillar, sometimes I will come down and drop into my body. And it feels like my heart is like expanding. So massively, because there's this white pillar of like, goodness, like literally booming out of it. It's only when it can, like describe it. And I didn't always have that I didn't always do. It wasn't always a practice of

mine. And I feel like now even something in business is going hard, or I have clients or anything like that there was someone actually today on my drive back to this podcast, I needed to get over and this guy just like went through and tried to wait like 10 More cars. And I think that was kind of rude. I was like, you know, I would definitely be grateful because this means I'm supposed to be patient. And I like to switch it that way. But the thing that you said that I really love is this

thing of wanting more. I feel like there's a very interesting duality and being grateful and wanting more that people struggle with our challenges. So let's talk about how that has been for you. Oh my gosh, it's so true. Because I remember when people said would say, be grateful and you bring up such a good point about that, like, I would be, I would kind of get like annoyed because I'm like, Well, that means that you're just settling.

Because I didn't believe that you could be grateful for he have, I didn't know that you could be grateful for what you had and aspire for more. And that it's not like mutually exclusive. Like, if you're grateful, then you're just like walking around. I'm so grateful for everything I have, and I want nothing more. No, you can be even be ambitious and want to

create more. But if you don't create the feeling my experiences, if I don't have the feeling of gratitude, I'm not attracting anything positive. Like Like, you talked about that white light, like I could literally feel it as you were talking, it gives me the chills. I could feel that because I like that's the same experience. I have the if you notice, I'm sure you do. The days that we've gotten into the gratitude. We felt it when we go out into the

world. It's like people are like, magnets to our energy. Yes. And experiences and good things. Yeah. And that's something that I teach a lot. I feel like I just talked about this a couple days ago, one of my lives, but people a lot of times look at Colleen, I think a lot of people listening to this, they look at Colleen Gallagher slide, and they go, Oh my god, she has it so easy. She hasn't made there's all these things.

And I'm like, actually, if you just knew how much mindset work, I have to do a day to like function as a human, you would probably be shocked. And it it doesn't necessarily, I don't want to say get easier, it becomes a practice and a habit. So you get more used to showing up to it. But you have greater connections you're connecting with. And that takes more focus, it takes more resilience. And so I feel like I love what you said of knowing that you can have it in the now and then also knowing

that you can want more. Um, and I know what that looks like for me and share for you. But I know like if I'm really wanting more. So I usually always have done with the first of every month, but it's really every day. And I just tune in like this is really what I want. But I'm so grateful for what I have. And I always like go into both. And sometimes I'll switch it like I'm so grateful for now. And this is what I want. And this is what I want and I'm grateful for now

I'll change the language. So it never feels like one is greater than the other. It's just that there's an equal way of thinking. So I would love to hear what you have done with that as well. Yeah, no, I love that. I love that equal equal way of thinking. Um, I think it's just about like, like, for me it's about the feeling. So after really go you know, like, like, even right

now. Like, it always makes me want to cry when I'm like that if you would, if you would have asked Brittany 11 and a half years ago if she'd be sitting in a room with an amazing human talking about about spirituality and how our mindset has changed. Like, no, it's like not even in the frequency of possibility. No, it was just I was in such a dark place that this wasn't talking about light shining from our heart. Like why this girl is going the other way.

I really so Brittany quit drinking, she started doing drugs and then having this conversation sober, it's not in the realm of possibility, um, the gratitude I feel for that just make it's crazy, but it's so much about feeling for me and feeling into it. And, and I'm sure it's manifest in some way for you as well. But like, it's like I can I do this a lot. I'm kind of like motioning my fingers touching my palms. It's

like I can feel that. It's like the tangible feeling of gratitude, like my hands vibrate. So this is really interesting. I actually have not talked about this before. There's a a researcher, Dr. Peter Levon, and he talks about trauma, it's a little bit different. But how we define trauma, technically, you have gone through trauma. But trauma is anything that emotionally destabilises. So almost every single element, almost all of us have gone

through trauma. But what he says a lot about how to overcome trauma is what you just said, of accuracy and sensation. And like understanding how to feel sensations in your body, when you're moving through the air, when sweat is dripping on you. Like that's the way to actually get in your body. So you're feeling sensations instead of recreating the past reality. So that's interesting. That's what you do. Yeah. So like, I don't know

why I do it. So it's like a sensation thing, this to help you beat your body, I guess I'm sure I don't know, all of his work that way. So I can't say

but yeah. And then the other thing that I really want to go into or transition into is the being so small, that take up the least amount of space, I feel like a lot of my audience they have, let's say they kind of have been looked at as like a healer, the one 800 helpline, and when you always go to for help, blah, blah, blah, the pushover like, kind of never like is successful, but they can't really seem to pull forward where they really want.

And it goes a lot to what I believe is not taking up space asking for us to deserve like taking for what it is. And so, talk to us about that when it was like with your way and then how that transition into alcohol. Yeah, okay, so with weight, you know, I feel like, I'm maybe I know, a lot of men go through it too. But I will speak directly to women I know as women, it's like we've been conditioned or this was my experience of it, be as small as possible, be cute be little b this be that and fit

into this little box. And, and for me, I thought if I was smaller, I will be more lovable, or cuter, or I would fit the mould of what I thought it was supposed to look like or what was being marketed at us. And and I was always an athlete. So you know, I hadn't you guys don't know my whole story. But I became 70 pounds when I got sober, got into the whole emotional eating thing, which is another story another day,

another part of my my life. But um, you know, I always desired when I was younger to be as small as possible. It was just like this idea of being cute and little, like I just wanted to be cute little. And I was always built like an athlete. And so I always thought oh gosh, I'm so unlovable, and I'm bigger than the guys and I can lift more than the guys and and I just felt so like unsafe being that big being that big. And it's so funny when I look back at photos. Yeah. It's so tiny. That's

hilarious. To the mind. And yeah, I was gonna say for those who don't know what I'm doing video, but Brittany has like this sexy body that's like, Bill like her arms are good. But it's not big at all, like still even to this day, but it's so funny because yeah, I mean, I remember even when I was a basketball, volleyball, I mean, it wasn't like a weightlifter. Yeah, but I remember I always wanted to be small. Like it was something with my stomach. I don't even think I really cared about like,

my butt. It was like literally just my stomach needed to be small. And um, I think I never even heard someone say it this way because it but I actually really believe it's because we didn't want to take up space. And it's interesting. I'm at a place I used to live. Oh, God, I don't know where it might have been in New Zealand, but I had my bed in a corner. Like I had it in the corner and my friend came in and they were like, um, why is your bed in the corner? Not the middle of the room. And

I was like, Oh, I don't know. I just like they're like, why? Because you're meant to be in the corner and take up space. And I was like, oh my god, that is such a psyche. Yeah, you're so right. And so you just said this too with body and I I think it's so true. And I'm also not one I don't want to go too extreme. I'm not one like Brittany mentioned of just eating and being super overweight. I think it's always good to be healthy no matter what but I think every size is

just beautiful. But I always think you obviously want to be healthy with your body and and you know, make sure it's an optimal condition but um Yeah, I just find this mindset. And I think a lot of people listening to like, ask yourself when you're eating if you're not eating it because you don't want to take up space, you want attention unhealthy way, if you are eating too much, is it because you want to be noticed? Do you need more attention?

Where are you lacking giving that to yourself, they kind of both go with attention, but I'm in different ways. So I just love that I've never heard of it. And I think for those of you may be struggling with that. Two things. If you ever go on Instagram and Facebook, just never do that, when comparing any of your body. I never do that. Because that's just a rabbit hole. That's bullshit.

And the other thing that I think is really, really important when thinking about your size or your weight is there is no right or wrong. There's only what feels good to you like I have really fluctuated between 120 and 140. And probably the smallest group and right now I'm very long time. But I started doing weights more to like give up. But I think that when I want to share that 120 to 140 There's times when I feel like I felt super sexy at 140. And there's times I felt super sexy at 120.

Like, I don't think it really had so much to do with the weight as I did how I was feeling about my life in that moment. If that is so spot on, it's actually I mean, you bring up a good point. So it's, it's interesting because now I actually compete in bodybuilding. So right now I'm actually in like my built my build phases, like the biggest my body has been in like a long time. And this is like the best I felt like I just want to I want to cry so much. But like it's the best I felt in my body.

Like at that, like if I would have been this quote unquote, sighs after I had initially lost the weight, I would be like, Oh my god, I would be panicking right now. And I've never felt this, like grounded and like I'm on track this exact where I'm supposed to be. I don't know that I've ever so like, what to your point of like, you felt

sexy at 140. And you've felt sexy at 120 It's so about how you're showing up in your life, and how it feels like yeah, and the way you're eating, which is what my whole book is about. Yeah. This is so important. So we'll go into this a little bit. So I, um, when I chemotherapy with cancer, I actually had an eating disorder. So I didn't do it on purpose. But literally like I couldn't Yeah, the food wasn't stained. I couldn't do anything

about it. Yeah, but it's kind of carried over in other ways of like, I'll just be so productive or doing so many things where I don't eat and I'm like, oh my god, it's 3pm and I haven't ate anything. And so it's been a very interesting relationship for me. And I started just doing a trainer eyes app to tell you one of my coach and she does these other things. I've been starting to look at food differently but it's interesting because I feel like so many people have such a shitty

relationship with Zoom. And I think even from going from where we can go back to that of when you were realising you wanted to be small and you went to alcohol. Mm hmm. That even is still a food issue because it's still like there's you're you're not really eating like a little beforehand but you want to get drunk as quick as you can for cheap as possible. And then maybe you'll eat later maybe not like all these things and so I guess take us in a little bit I guess we could do both of those

like alcoholism. Just how that even spiralled and how you see if you remember and how people listening to get help or they even what is an alcoholic? Like how do they even know? Yeah, and then be let's tie food into it as well. Who else? Okay, so our food and alcohol go were food was the first manifestation of alcoholism for me. So actually, as a child, every parent fights right parents fight and I was so sensitive, you know, you're an empath. I'm super empathic, I

feel everything. So there was ever any like intense emotions, my parents would getting divorced and stuff. I would eat over it. So I would highway to walk in pantry and I would hide in the pantry, I would just eat like I would eat spoonfuls of sugar. It was just like a neurotic, like compulsive behaviour, something to do in order to like check out mentally. So it's not really appropriate when you're five or six to binge drink alcohol. So I

found food first. And that was my first way of checking out or I would do weird shit like or things like I would spin around really fast to get really dizzy and sit on the floor. I just didn't want to be in my body. So like I literally wanted to check out whatever I or I would do handstands and let all that blood rushed to my head. And then I would come down and I wouldn't be in my body anymore. Like I could feel myself getting

away. And so when I found alcohol, it was it's just another manifestation of that ism of that I want to I want to get out I want out of this body or out of this world. I don't want to die. But I don't want to be here and I don't want to feel this and I have no tools on how to handle it. So how can I check out the fastest alcohol just turned out to be like, so quick?

It was just so easy, you know So we'll you're going into that you just want to be out of your body until you went in from when you were little and your parents getting divorced, like spending money in the pantry, then with alcohol, you were going into that, and then related to food. Okay, so then so then what was interesting that you said is I remember when college I would have, I was on Weight Watchers. Yep. And I would save all my points to drink on the weekend. Like, you could have these like

extra point things. Yeah. And I would save them. And I'd be like, in the bar, like writing my little book, like I did a shot of vodka, like the but what would inevitably happen is I wouldn't eat all day, I would say quote unquote, save my points, drink my points. And then I would end up at a drive thru board and up at you know, we have this place in college, hold the book for these and like, you would chant and they

would bring out the fries. It was like this thing, you know, but the alcohol then gave me permission to drink or gave me permission to eat. So I tried to starve myself, I always say, I was a failed anorexic, because I would try to starve myself. And I was just really bad at it. That's so Okay, so a couple things you said, this is really interesting. I don't think I've ever talked on this podcast

before. So one thing that's really gone on in the world before even 2020 why it's such an important year, first of all, it's perfect vision if you go to the eye doctor, so literally like everything has been brought up to the light for us to see for us to heal. And for us to go in 2020 for the cosmos, like there is an actual realignment happening in the universe right

now. So what happened in the planet is we had predominantly masculine energy, which we needed to actually do met Brittany and I, we were that way much of our life, not it's not bad or good just is, um, but we needed masculine to get roads built to get baked to get like infrastructure built on the planet. Otherwise, someday we'd be in communities around that's not bad. It's just one of his.

So we needed it. But now we're really in a space where we need that more collective collaborative feeling based leadership who's done the masculine decisiveness and directness. But what has happened because of that is women have not wanted to be in their bodies, because women have not felt safe because they felt like there was no mean infrastructure put on top of them. And so when you're saying this, there's a few books that talk about the rise of the

feminine what's happening. I don't even know if I did the rise the feminine right now we're really balancing right now in the masculine and feminine in the universe, the rise is not gonna happen till probably most of us onto another galaxy. But like true feminine energy is like when you have a thought like it like appears it gets like if I wanted to pick I want a popsicle right now, like it

would appear. And that is a true feminine, like, power like going into but we're not there yet, we still have like denser things that like needs to happen. So it's interesting when you're saying this leaving your body. I know for me, I've had to do a lot of work to be in my body. And I think a lot of people here they may not even know what it's like to be in or out of your body. Britney's gave him some

really good examples. I think some other ones if you're just working and working and working all the time, like past the point, if you're exercising all the time past the point, you're doing anything where you're doing the action to not feel, you've now just gone out of your body. Yes, and alcohol is a really good enabler to allow that to happen, but allows you

to come back and do it. Whereas drugs usually you can get into a more crazy world and state of seeing things and hearing things and it can activate a whole other type of thing. Alcohol, it's not so much activating those worlds, it's just kind of letting different spirits entering data so you can kind of get a release. But I really love that you've said that and then I really really want to go more into food like what your what you want to write about what's

going to be in the book. And I'm just that topic because it's something I personally find it so fascinating right now. And I think it's something most people need to hear about right now. Especially with COVID like gyms are close, people are gaining weight people often insecure, like, what what can we do with that? Yeah, you know, I think it's really about one being honest with yourself and saying like, Okay, what is my relationship with food have I been trying to like withhold because of XY and

Z or to like, manage stress? Or have I been trying to know a lot of the food stuff was being for me, it was like, I was trying to fill a hole inside my heart with something. And so the food was like more and more and more, but there's nothing that's going to fill me up the way that I need to need to feel like yeah, the food isn't going to do anything.

And then really all that happens that just felt like shame and I hate myself and I feel sick, you know, if I if I overeat so, I think as far as food goes, you know, I'm not like a believer in cutting out like full blown food groups. If that doesn't work for you. I think that every person every individual is unique. I know what works best for myself is to stay away from sugar. Sugar is like a sum. It's just like alcohol. I don't drink alcohol because it makes my life

easier. When I eat sugar. The same thing happens it's like a demon flips on and I need more and I need more right now like It's something just happened. I don't know what it is. But that's just how it is for me. And so the truth is, I just try to stay away from that stuff. And I'm not talking about like fruit sugars. I'm talking about

like, like cake. Yeah. Yeah, like things, just things that are there in there certain foods that are just like a little bit weird for me, you know, like, that's not really the best one. And we well, we have a lot of people because the cancer community, we have a lot of people in the cancer community that listen to this as well. And a lot of people that use holistic ways to get off of get over cantare or become healed of cancer. I know for me, I got off the medication. This was the

rest of my life. And so there was there was a lot of people here and a big thing that I hear continuously people that have cancer, and then if they are off the chemotherapy off the radiation because they completely cut sugar. So it's so crazy, because it's not something we're taught in school, like just how much sugar is in things and just how bad it actually is. Yeah, and I hate to like, say it because I don't want to demonise it or make anyone feel like oh, can you eat sugar? You're doing

something wrong? You're not but and listen to your body's response. Listen to your mind response, because I was so used to feeling bad that I didn't know what it would be like that. I was feeling that. Yeah, until I stopped feeling that and I was like, Oh, my depression and anxiety and this feeling of craving and like wanting to literally like snort Skittles. Yes. I feel like, I never really got into a little jerky. But like I made I might as well sort of Skittles.

Like I felt like that. And it was I felt so out of control. And I didn't I thought that was life. Like I thought that I thought that was normal. You know? So once I took that out was a big deal. And then, you know, he does eat foods, like eat foods, real food. Yeah. One thing that I think is I want to just I wanted to bring up earlier and I think it's really a good point. There was a mentor that told me this one time and I I didn't really understand what she meant at the

time. But I actually really agreed with her. She said, I feel like you have a deep rooted fear to suffering a deep rooted attachment. And this was maybe two years ago. And it was interesting. I didn't realise it, but it was around love. And I don't even think I just realise that till right in a second. But what it was a deep sufferings love. And I actually read this book the other day, or I was on my walk, I go on walks all the time. I think I totally

miss Yeah. So for those of you listening, I have so much energy, so I have to let it out somehow. And so I walk outside. And I there's this book on the ground, it's all about love. Hmm. And so I start opening up and I start reading it. And there was a chapter I read I haven't read a couple days ago. And it talks about being totally honest with yourself in every

area. And if you really want love you have to be they talk about radical honesty and put it in business, you have to actually be radically honest with yourself. So like, you have to like what are the thoughts you're having? What are the ways you're thinking and I didn't even know that I was addicted to suffering. But then I started looking at different dynamics and relationships I was in and I was like, I would send like a

text message. And this has even been to to friends and girlfriends and like I'm not even dating his friends or girls. And like guys, it's different to I'm just I'll put like people that are just my friends I would text them. And I would say like so great seeing you so this habit oh my god that I sound so stupid. Oh my God didn't text me back maybe didn't have fun. Maybe like literally it would take 15 million thoughts that my nervous system

was activating. And then it's it was a guy I would say like one or two things. Like nothing we do like oh, this are like, oh, did you want to do this plan or like coffee at this time? Like and I would think it's like, oh my god, Am I annoying? Should I've done that? Should he have been chasing me now that I did this? Again, there was like all these thoughts. And it's interesting. I've really, really

had to work on this. But what I've realised is that what you want to do if you're addicted to suffering first, those are the types of thoughts and other types of conversations going on your head be. The other thing I've learned and I've seen some of my clients do this is they'll message me and they'll have like five messages. And I haven't responded, but I've realised they had a whole conversation in their head about what I said back to them. And even though I haven't responded, I've been

guilty of this too. And I've texted me via a whole conversation. They've never responded. And so that is what Brittany and I are talking about. If you're addicted to suffering and don't know, that is probably a lot of what your life looks like. But you don't even realise that you are the

only one in your head. having these conversations be I think the other thing that's really important when you're looking at this, how to overcome this is every time you send a message you want to go this is gonna

have the best outcome. This is just gonna have the best outcome I'll get a response but I meant to get a response but this will be the best outcome or especially if it's dating or even just friends or meeting up like Well of course it's gonna go great like we had this and these are like literally things I've trained myself to start thinking because otherwise you will remain suffering. And so I don't know how you kind of overcame that but I'd love to hear your dialogue.

Yeah, I'm just like giggling every year I always do I always laugh at like, inappropriate times. No. It's funny because like in 12 step meetings, people will share and everyone starts laughing. And for first new to like a 12 step meeting. So like Alcoholics Anonymous, but what is, what is that act? What is the 12 step to do? It's basically the 12 steps are steps that take you to a connection with the higher power and Kabu come over ism. Like whether it's alcoholism shopping.

Perfect. Okay, awesome. So everyone knows, okay, yeah. And so then, and then, yeah, tell me a little bit how you overcame the suffering? Yeah. So the suffering is it you know, I realised like, it's not real. Like, the stories I've created are not true. And if I can create a story and live in emotionally feel like you just explained, right, like, I'm emotionally feeling all the things as though it's already

happened. Can I do that on the flip side, like that was the big change for me and Joe Dispenza talks about that a lot. And I also did a programme called landmark. And that was really helpful. And got me to really see like, Oh, I'm just creating all these things that literally I acted like they were like, tangible, like a mech. Yes. I'm like, This microphone is here. And I will tell you, and then I will live my whole life to make sure that you know, the microphones there. It is the

same thing. I would be like, this is a truth and you are, you know, feeling X y&z as though it was I would act like it was real. And once I realised it was just a story, I was like, Oh, I have power. I love that I have power. That is such an one thing that I think it's really helped me. So I had a few different traumas that have happened in my life. One of them was cancer, there was a childhood trauma, there was another one that recently

occurred. But anyway, so I started doing Neurofeedback therapy, because on top of these things, because my beautiful brain likes to have a high IQ of 161. So it's like, it goes and goes and goes. And it's like, I can't even really, you can't really ever stop back. That's part of the brilliance. But there's also very metaphysical side of me that they have trouble integrating sometimes.

And so I went to I went to a healer for small and I was talking about going Tuesday, I feel like the neurons in your brain aren't functioning correctly. And so I go to this neurofeedback, and at 13 weeks, I'm in the middle of my second

13 weeks right now. And what it does is you have these frequencies will you hook your brain up I did the back of my brain that we're doing the central line, and you have these little earphones and they do these little chirping sounds and it literally is well for me it's cool in my brain that other people means to activate sounds have you been trained not to feel it will actually in different parts your brain based they do a whole brain scan based on whatever it but it will help

you feel or will help you have less anxiety. It's basically an alternative way of not having to take medication for things but it was funny because I get it I get my diagnosis or whatever. It was like ADHD, PTSD, depression, anxiety, like I have like everything, but I didn't have it like I have. I'm having three successful businesses. I have a podcast, all these friends like she's like, Yeah, this is what it says. But obviously, that's not you know, I really believe it's because of my spiritual

connection. That's interesting. I can now see I get for the first time I remember actually this is maybe May, I was walking outside my apartment, talk to my neighbour. And it was the first time all I said was Hi, how are you that I actually felt like I had a conversation in my body. And I had no idea before that I wasn't having a conversation my body. Wow. And that's so cool. But um, so for a lot of you listening, and I want you to

know this. And I think it's really important with what Brittany said of her leaving her body like when she's obviously it can spinning she didn't know that there's practice and training and awarenesses and environments Britney and I have put ourselves into to see that. And I feel like even knowing both of us, we will integrate more into our body as time goes

on. Because again, it's a practice I I don't think you just have a moment where you kind of have a moment where you're like, wow, I was there. But it always gets deeper. There's always another layer just as I say with bodybuilding, there's always another layer with with podcasting with making coffee with I don't know what shoes you need to go on run.

Like there's always different levels of if you continue to do something, what you need support and for that, and so, I think what I really love about your story the most is we are in the point of the world balancing right now feminine energy and feeling safe to be in our bodies. And I feel like what you really overcome is you are a huge leader in that of being able to like help people see especially women or men like to be safe in their body and to actually feel what's going on.

So I'm just super excited for your book. I'm super excited for all the things Yeah. Is there anything else you want to say or leave them with? Oh, no, I mean it just like, I guess the one of the things is that well, first of all, thank you again for having me here. Um, it's it's like don't be afraid to work. Yeah, you know, because like here's the deal. We all are meant for greatness. And that sounds like a really cute bumper sticker. But it's actual

truth. Like if you want to do one truth, that's the truth. It's like we are all meant for greatness and the only thing that's stopping us in our mind yeah. And when we get willing to do the work, you don't even have to know what quote unquote work and you don't need to be on like a spiritual mountaintop with like a shaman, all that stuff. If you get willing to even be willing to look at things your teachers will appear. It never

fails, right? Like it will show up in the avenue that yours will seek so don't don't worry about like, what therapist or what programme or what this or what that if you can just take a moment quiet your mind just a little bit and open your heart every day you will be aligned with what you need. It will show up. I totally agree. That's like my Neurofeedback therapy. Like I had no idea I'd never heard of Neurofeedback therapy. And I went to this healer and I became

open and available. And it's funny because I could never have done Neurofeedback therapy before it was introduced to me I was not ready as a human and I wouldn't let you listen to this Nick, What's she talking about? Not ready as a human like I probably would have been like She's out of her mind. But there there's something when I call even like my PhD. So I had my masters and my that was my second book that was published in Lambert now we're going to publish it from my third book.

And my fourth book was supposed to publishing but with with this, what I wanted to share with that is when I even started I guess two and a half years ago, it's just so crazy to think that I left my corporate job two and a half years ago and I create I created like these oracle cards and I have this Neurofeedback therapy and I travelled the world I got my masters and my PhD like, it seems like it's been like a decade and a very short time.

But if I would have stopped there, and then like, I've got to be my body. I've got to be my body. How do I figure this out? I gotta go do this thing. I would have missed it. And so I feel that what Brittany and I are sharing is a just acknowledge no matter what we each have a trauma. Each of we each are going through some meaning Brittany are not perfect. We're still going

through shit right now. But we obviously aren't gonna talk about unhealed things because that's going to put false DNA and programming into your field that we don't want. So I want you to understand that everyone has CZ no matter what leader I promise you Jeff Bezos does, I promise you Donald Trump has a bunch of people that are that are high up that may seem everyone has their shit, but people aren't going to talk about what's unfilled. Because it's not healthy to do that.

However, acknowledge that wherever you're at, you're willing to get better you want to reach your potential you want to help other people and slowly just be honest with yourself like this book I read all about love like okay, maybe I struggled with eating so what was a cookbook that I go to or how do I go to a store that's

maybe more expensive? do I sign up for a cooking class again that type of community whatever that it is, but start to do those small things and even if it's alcoholism like Okay, why don't know I'm an alcoholic? Maybe I am maybe I'm not we'll just do a look at the 12 step. Yes, there's a test online just Google a or just Google? Am I an alcoholic?

Yeah, and these are things like I don't think anyone wakes up one day and just goes like I'm an alcoholic or you know I I have cancer like I don't think you just know that or I had abuse or you know, I don't think you you wake up one day it's just there it's it's a series of steps over your life that you get so uncomfortable that you know it's no Something has to change Yeah, so definitely my experience Yeah, we're so we had you on and enjoy anything else and that one went

longer anything else or make sure to check her out on Instagram and she has a trainer eyes app as well right? So if any of you are looking for health and mindset, definitely check out Britney so if you want to say your steps we can know Yeah, of course. So just Britney Carmel NBRI TT N ey carvone Carbone put together car view any on Instagram and Twitter and then just Britney carbone.com Yeah, and we'll have that in the show notes as well everyone so

you'll be able to see her. But we're super grateful and excited. And then for you guys, if you have any questions for me or her you can reach out she's left hers minus I am calling Gallagher on Instagram, the Colleen Gallagher on Facebook and Colleen Gallagher, Duff CEO on my website. So anyway, Have a beautiful day and we're super grateful for you co creating this space with us. Thank you