Episode 100 Monogamy vs. Open Relationships How on Earth do We Relationship Right?

them. I went into my business when I had my blue velvet chair, I moved all of my clothes I had my little microphone I like zoned it out was so serious about the quality being so epic, and I was like it was called a man's best friend originally was the podcast name because I always felt like I was a man's best friend. And I don't know, it was just talking to someone. And that was the name and then I realized it had to be the

Colleen Gallagher podcast. And to think that we're here and I've only had two episodes that I've had to delete per week class because there was someone that I had a conversation with, and they wanted those episodes deleted, but out of 100 episodes only to deleted less than 2% by percent. I mean it's just amazing to feel the presence of this as well as being a top 1000 podcasts like you guys, I'm so grateful. I'm so honored wherever you're listening to wherever you're tuning in from

the depths of my soul. I hope you feel the gratitude that we are here together like we did this you have inspired me you have motivated me, you have challenged me you have pushed me to show up every week for 100 episodes. That is frickin so phenomenal blows my mind. And so, before we get into today's episode today is going to be a really, really fun episode. It's gonna be really vulnerable. It's gonna be something that's really relevant. A lot of you have been asking me about it and so I'm

super pumped. So let's start the intro but welcome to the Colleen Gallagher podcast. We are a top 1000 Global Health and Wellness podcast with the intention to be a space that you can come and tune in to receive a frequency that will activate educate and empower you to begin living a lifestyle you love that supports you financially. If you are a returning podcaster Oh Hey, and if you're brand new, well hello

and welcome. Health and wellness became a passion of mine because I was diagnosed with thyroid cancer at age 14. And after nine long years of suffering, I still

feel my body, mind and soul. So in these episodes, I bring you my own boys as well as people I meet along my journey to offer prospective inspiration and real life proof that when you choose to follow your dreams you say yes to was inside of your heart, you begin to create a lifestyle that is wildly impactful, fulfilling and abundant beyond

your wildest dreams. We cover topics from health and wellness, digital marketing, New Age, spirituality, global development and pop culture events as it relates to the Great Awakening. So get ready, tune in, subscribe and make sure to leave us a review to let us know how do let us know what you're loving. You can always email us on my website, www dot Colleen gallagher.co torquest Episode topics and let us know how everything's going. I love you and thank you for being part of

this collective community. I'm so pumped and thrilled the day get to meet you and give you a big hug. So today we're gonna be talking about relationships, monogamy, open relationships, dating, I really marriage I really want to go into this because I've had so many of you reach out to me online about what my dating status is what is always happening with me how I have so many of these amazing dating stories that are always

happening in my life. And so I really wanted to dive into this because I feel like it's an important conversation that as young men and as young woman I'm zany young by like 20s 30s We don't really know what to do, especially if you're someone who wasn't like, Okay, I'm gonna get married young, you just felt like that wasn't the path for

you? And obviously, if that was the path for you, no wrong, no, whatever, you know, that's your vibe, but I even know married people that they're trying to figure out like, okay, are we open? Are we monogamous? What's happening here? So I want to have an open dialogue about it. Because I feel like I understand connection and love really, really well. It's something that's really dear to

me. Like I really believe why I've beaten cancer, why I've gone so far and why I've devoted my life to something greater is because I believe in the power of love. I believe that love can move us into spaces that we can't do alone. And I believe that relationships are our most powerful accelerators and our journey to evolution and growth. I think relationships show us the shadows, we're hiding from relationships bring up emotions that that we're hiding from that that we're pretending aren't

there. Like, like relationships are the biggest thing and that's probably why I feel like I don't want to say my relationship person, but I am and I want to get into that and it's probably the reason I am a relationship person is because you can't hide when it's just you by yourself being single in your own land that you can't hide it when you're an unconscious relationship you can still hide, but the relationships I cultivate, you can Don't hide from if there's tension if

there's arguments if there's something that arises you have to face it, you have to go for it. So anyway, I want to start with first of all monogamy. You know, I grew up with two parents who are very in love. They're very monogamous have been married for 30 years, there's never been cheating, there's

never been an issue. And I don't know in this new world, if monogamy is really the most evolved choice because what we know about human psychology, right and this is from my psychology background, right is that even when you're married, you're still going to have attraction like sexual attraction, other people are gonna have emotional connections with you. Like if you work with someone, you know, there's going to be like an emotional, light

and emotional feeling. And it doesn't mean that someone's cheating, right? It doesn't mean that that person doesn't love the person that they're married to. Or that with just means that when they're in that environment, right, there's an emotional stimulation, there's a

heart connection. And I think we've gotten in such a paradigm from old school that like that is like cheating, or that's like that shouldn't be allowed or, or that means that our relationship that threat but that's not true, like, like, I think the truth of monogamy is saying, I am choosing to be committed and devoted to you through a period of time for the rest of my life, whatever it is that you've agreed on with this monogamous person, you are the person I'm committed to you are the person

that I'm going to be truthful to you are the person that I'm going to be transparent with, you're the person that I my thoughts return to right? However, that doesn't mean that when I'm out partying, or that when I'm out traveling, or that when I'm at an office, I don't feel maybe a moment of attraction to someone or that I don't have you not an emotional or intellectual stimulation with

someone else. It doesn't mean that for a short time, in my life, or in my relationship with you that there are other energies I'm experiencing. Now those other energies don't take away from you. They don't take away from the monogamous relationship. But we have to be honest that this happens, right? We can't get like we can't just pretend that we live in a world where oh my god, I don't look at anyone, there's no arousal, there's no nothing like, right?

Because that would mean you're not that would mean you're turned off. That would mean like, that's just not true. That would just mean like you're literally walking into the world like a robot. You know, and connections happen all the time connections are birthed all the

time. Now, the point where it would become cheating or unethical or like line is that if you obviously act on emotions, or act sexually, or act on something where you know that this, this person that you said, I've committed to you, I'm committed to you, I'm committed or whatever, and you will now are going behind their back where you don't feel like you can be transparent to them

anymore. You don't feel comfortable saying, you know, I had a very intellectually stimulating conversation today with a woman or man at work, or I had a really emotional connection, it was really deep, profound experiences, and you don't feel safe to come back to this person to share this

experience, right? Then you know, you're doing something wrong, then you know, you're doing something out of alignment, because this person you've said, I've devoted and I'm committed to you to be able to share everything with them and have a safe space. And if you can't have that dialogue of truth of what happens in the human experience, then you're not in a manogue I mean, that you're just not in a healthy relationship because these

things happen, right? And anyone who tells me that there is science proving this that even the average married person by 30, or 40, or 50 years has five or six or 10 crushes I think it's a two questions every two

years or something. So get crushed a year, or 18 months most maybe two crushes every 18 months doesn't mean that they don't love the person they're with but it means they have a crush besides the person that they're with doesn't mean they act on it doesn't mean that it's monumental them but that feeling is there the emotion is there we can't deny it we can't pretend

like a son isn't there. So I think we need to just have a little bit of a more open dialogue around monogamy because it's not that it's bad if I'm with you and I'm committed to you and I'm experiencing other people it's only bad if I feel like I'm hiding it from you and I can't communicate it to you now to this is where I feel like I've kind of I don't want to say I'm more function as but I feel like this is where I'm at in my

life. So I want to share it I'm gonna have an open relator way but it's not like in this way if you're dating but I wouldn't say polyamory like that is just a no judgment if you're polyamory it's just not for me. I am I'm repulsed by it. I have like a purging like my full body

doesn't agree with it. There's many people that may work for it and that your star system that's your start cluster go for you and you can go listen to someone's podcast on that because I can't even talk about it because it feels so demonic. And again, this is not like me judging it. I think everyone has a right to be whoever they want to be. I'm just telling you my personal body experience are

great. I'm just telling you how I feel whether you agree with it or not, but don't I think for someone who is afraid to say that I was free to be like oh polyamory is demonic and it's frozen. Oh my god purging like I like I wanted to be open to I wonder thing but I just can't like you can tell like it literally has reaction in my body. So I would say I'm an open relator, towards monogamy. And I

want to show what this means. I think this is really important this is I haven't really seen a lot of research a lot out there about this Ivan's non dual talking about this, but I really want to give this space and give this voice because I think it's so important for those of us who are like building our career who are committed to our goals, who are like, rather would be alone than with the wrong person, I really want to talk on that because I think we think there's

something wrong with us. But there's not. And I think this is the new kind of way of how we will be connecting, especially as we go into the new world, especially as we're evolving, especially as I don't know, like 3040 5060 years may not be forever. So I would say I'm an open relator towards monogamy.

What I mean by that is that I usually always have one person, that is like my main person that I'm dating, like, what I mean by that is that we talk daily, we talk multiple times a day, you know, they're my person that I'm like, you know, I, you know, I think about the person my thoughts returned to. They're the person that I'm so excited to tell like how my day went, I'm so excited to like surprise them with little things like, right, this is that person, right? And I'm usually sexual with this

person, right? And I'm not intimate with anyone else may I make out or may hold hands for sure. But I'm not actually intimate with anyone else. But this person now this may vary for anyone else. I'm just telling you my perspective, right? So whoever this one person is, right? But there's a large part of me where I'm at in my life. I love to date I love to go on dates. I love to go out by myself I love to meet guys I love to hang out with people

right? So when I go on quote unquote dates, right even though I have this monogamous person that I'm you know, choosing that I'm intimate with and I'm that like we're, you know, together like I would call them my boyfriend, they will call me their girlfriend, you know, we're dating. Like, it's known my friend groups know about them. But I'm still on a dating app. And this person, that's my main person, they normally know

that I'm on this date. They not normally they do know I'm on a dating app, they do know that I'm going out to dinner with other people, they do know that I text other people. They're not naive to it, right? Like they do know this. And I want us to be completely honest. Um, when I'm going on a date, like honest about it. And when I'm going on the dates of someone's like, what are you looking for? Right?

Or like, whatever it is, I'm usually very honest about how I am right I say I usually have one person very monogamous with that I'm looking at and then I have like, you know, other people I date, you know, this is what I say to this person. And so, um, dates I never normally go on one or I never go on more than one or two dates like one on one solo dates. Unless I know that that person could become like a monogamous person like someone that's like the main person right? So that's very

rare, right? But I like this variety like this energy like this. I just liked the zing like, I like it right? Like, I don't know, there's something about it that leaves like mysterious and gets me like, just excited. And I learned about people like I love learning about people and connecting right? And a lot of times you can tell by day one like okay, this is gonna be a thing or it's not right before day one because we're intuitive beans, you know, like, Okay, this is gonna be a thing or not.

So every first date I have is usually amazing. But I can tell okay, like this is we're going to be friends. It's maybe potentially something more long term or okay, like happy one on the date. Now it's complete. But the person I'm monogamous was a player and I was having those my main person, right, they know this is happening, right. And I usually date like, I'm a successful person. I usually date successful people, people that I date, we all have very

busy schedules. Like, it's not like the people I date are just like twiddling their thumbs, like everyone has very busy schedules that I've ever dated, like, even for us to hang out. Sometimes it's like, Okay, what's your schedule here? What's your schedule here? What's the timeframe to move? What can we move around? So we have an extra hour or two together like these are, this is how I am and the people that I

you know, how I date. It's not like, these people are just like, you know, you can just do whatever you want, when you want. It doesn't work like that. Like it's very, like, we have schedules, we have goals, we're planning for things. So the monogamous person is kind of that way. The Dating is kind of like filling I don't want to say failing, but it's kind of like feeling when someone's not there, like, Okay, what could

else I desire? What else can I manifest in a partner that's not currently in his current situation, right? Because it wasn't, I was with my lifelong person, right? And whatever this and I'm gonna get to this, but I was at this lifelong person, I wouldn't be doing these dates. But obviously, I'm at a point in my life with this, even though this is my main person, right? I don't feel like this is the

person I'm going to marry. If I felt like this, the person I was going to marry, I wouldn't be doing all this extra stuff, right? Because I would be on the way to marrying them. But that's not the case. So I'm not going to not date I'm not going to not be monogamous or main this person, my main person, when they know everything that's going on Ryder, we're talking all the time, that I'm not going to not do this just because I'm

not going to marry them. If I feel a resonance in my soul, but I feel like something inside of me is telling me this person and I are meant to go through a soul experience. Even if that man is not an enlightened man. He's not in the soul path but I feel it so deep in my body so deep in my bones that this is a person that I'm meant to go on and experience with Eve and a heartbreak, even if it ends and whatever. I know that a shadow of a doubt this is someone I meant to experience something

with in this life. And I feel that I fucking go for I don't question I go for I make it happen. That's because I believe in love so deeply, right? That's because I believe in the power of relationships as because whatever this person I'm attracted to, and we're in this dynamic together, even though he might be dealing with people, I'm dating other people, whether they were the main person, I have emotional security with him. I feel like he has emotional security with me.

There's no financial need. There's no like expectation of a long term thing. It's truly like I'm in the presence of you. And you were in the presence of me out of pure desire, knowing that it's not going to be forever, but I desire to experience the beauty of whatever's being offered through us. Whoa. And when that happens, I always say yes, but I don't stop my dating life. I don't stop my my continuum, onto where I want to go, which is marriage. Right, which is back to what I said at

this monogamy thing. Like main monogamy from the very

beginning. So I'm sharing this with you guys, because I've gotten a lot of questions for people like, oh, you deserve better this guy or this guy, but who, okay, if you're looking online, and you look at many stories that I share, who are you to share that I deserve better, every relationship is going to have conflict, every single relationship to have conflict and woman or man, you're normally going to share the bad of the conflict, you're not going to share the good of

why you like that person, you're gonna make Oh, this and this and this and that. That's our habit, right? To go to your friends and to pitch about this person. So you want to begin to think, okay, Coleen, it's not about who I don't observe or whoever you are listening to this. It's about what you do or don't deserve. It's going okay, when I'm messaging this person, when I'm texting this person, do I feel a resonance? So if if there's something that I meant to experience, and even if it's

not forever, am I okay? going all in being monogamous with this person, they're my main person, but I'm still dating, they're still dating, and I'm gonna be okay with it. Now, that does mean you could have rules and contract which I've had before, like, Okay, I like to go to dinner, right? Everyone knows that, like, I like to go to dinner. So usually, if I'm dating someone, like, I like to have dinner at least once a week, like at least like going out on a date, proper date,

like, once a week. You know, I like to go out maybe twice a month together, I like to travel together, I definitely do not want to be around him. When there's other woman, I definitely don't want to be around. I don't want him around me when I'm around other guys. Like, I'm still very monogamous in that way. Like, I don't want to be around it, I know you're doing it, I don't want to be around it. I don't want to hear about it. Now, if the guy is like, hey, I want you to know,

whatever, then sure. But I you know, you have to know yourself and know how this is going to work. Because remember, this is not your forever person you already know this is not going to end in marriage or children are the whole fairy tale. You're here for an experience for a soul expansion. And that's why you're in this and that's why you're still okay, what they do and the people. And it's not about them messing up and then all of a sudden, you just end it

and they don't deserve you. It's about Okay, wow, that was a really big challenge, a conflict. Why did that occur? Can I move through this? Or is this relationship now moving on, and there's something else that's gonna happen? Now, I'm sharing this with you guys. Kind of talking fast if you like, but it's because I'm so passionate for this. I'm sharing this with you guys. Because I've dated I would say now I've probably dated three guys, where I've really in my 20s where I Well, sorry, okay,

in my later 20s, so 25. And before there was two guys, I decided that I really, really fell in love with 25. And older, I'd say Now there's three guys that I've really, really dated. And I've really fallen in love with falling in love falling and falling. And the guys that are in 25 and older, they've all been older men, like by 1010 years, 18 years, 20 something years. So like all much older than me. And so I've learned a lot from them, I've gained a lot of access to them, they've given

really their hearts. And I'm grateful for that. And I've obviously given a lot of value because I'm a more feminine business leader, I'm a more creative, I'm very interesting, you know, there's different things they've learned about me as well that they didn't have access to and they were building their businesses, right, they didn't have access to what I've done. So they're kind of learning and evolving as we're transitioning into this new

earth. So what I want to share with you about monogamy, open polyamory, you know, whatever it is, I think don't close yourself

off to what's possible. You know, I think like I was so like, you can only date one person it's this and the more that I've gotten matured into myself the more that I've realized people just want honesty so if you're on a date then I've been on date with guys who are like whatever in there, you know, so yeah, I usually have one person by data round whatever every guy's been like I

like that I did that. I was like unless it was someone I would marry then I would obviously change you know, I would have a little bit of a different paradigm but where I'm at I'm building my business I'm in networking like I genuinely just love love I love affection I love connection and for me to like give that up at this point my life it just it feels like I would have to give something up and I don't want to feel like that I'm young enough to give something up to be in a

relationship and until that changes something internally changes with me or I meet the right man worth it I don't have to give something up. I'm I'm not going to change so I'm in this kind of open monogamy but dating type of way. And so I just think love has many forms I think as woman right I would say I'm someone who's I fall a little bit more on the jealous

side jealous and possessive. I can be right but that just Coliseum pundit possessiveness comes out when I don't feel emotional security, when I feel like some guy could just leave when I don't know what's happening in the relationship when I feel like he's just like that possessiveness and jealousy comes like when there's when I don't feel like he's offered me a space to feel like I've got you, you're safe here, whatever it is, then I don't really care,

right? If I have that feeling I have that reassurance from someone than it is. I don't care at all. Like, I'm like, There's guys, I've dated like, you know, well, I know they're dating way more, you know, a lot of people and I'm like, whatever, it doesn't matter, because I know what the relationship is. I can feel it. And I know that I'm not ready for marriage and monogamy or children with that person. So

why would I close myself? Like why would I close my heart to the possibility of what else can be right? And this has taken a lot of practice, right? This has taken practice for me to be like, what I just want to be alone away from Mr. monogamy or don't I want to enjoy myself in the process of while my person comes while I'm aligning, and he's aligning to the soul of who we're meant to be in this world. Right? That's so funny was like a heart. Like an infinity that

was funny. But um, why would I close myself off to experiences that could be actually allowing me to height in my my frequency height and my ability to hold the space for our union? Why would I hold myself back so that that way, I'm even more prepared and more excited for the true union that I'm calling in. And so I don't know, that's just how I feel about it. I don't think there's a right or wrong way. I think we all have our own path

and own journey. There's a lot of women who are you know, married in their young 20s A lot of people in their, you know, later 20s are in serious relationships. I've just never felt that calling and I don't want you to feel alone in this light. Have you just never felt that kind of big, I need to marry someone and like I just had that hasn't been me. It hasn't been me. It's not been me. And I don't want you to feel

like you're alone. If that hasn't been you like there's something wrong with you because there's not. And there is another narrative you can play as a young, younger woman, successful woman that still makes you feel powerful and sexy and empowered. And men still love you and are attracted to you. It's all about being honest. It's knowing as a woman, you know, this is honestly what I like, honestly, who I am and just not being afraid to communicate it. And the more you do that, I

promise. It's not like these guys are like, Oh, she's, you know, not attractive, or I wouldn't date her it actually allows the man to show up to provide for what you need, even if it's new to him, but he may well I've not really done this before, but I want to be new or open to this and he will I've never met a man who hasn't been willing to like meet me halfway in this dating scenario I've talked about like I've never right and I've always been honest, I've always been

truthful. And it's always worked out for me. Now I don't know to say this so the person whoever it is my main person right? Well it might be going on to other dates remembering only go on one or two dates only one or two unless I see them as moving into somewhere right? Very rarely though, when I go on more than two dates, like might hang out with friends or we might go to a show or an event but I want to go on like to solo dates right?

So even these people sorry that I'm going into though they I do not tell them all this information about the main person I'm in relationship with Well, I say like I'm you know, I'm dating someone on dating show, but I don't go into the news that I'm dating a main person, right? That is information private to myself, you I'm on a first date with you, I don't owe you that unless I see something with them. Right? I don't owe them my childhood trauma. I don't owe them what's in my bank account.

Like I don't owe that information to them. Right? Unless they I see them in this position, right. So I keep this space, whoever this one person is very sacred. They know everything. They're sacred, they know that I'm sacred to them. I know that I feel that I feel that security with them. And then I asked my life in this way. So anyway, I just wanted to share that because I think everyone looks on my social media sometimes, like what is she doing? Is she dating is she

not? Who is she dating what's going on data. And it's just it's sacred, whoever is my one person at the time, you're never gonna they're never going to be posted anywhere I can promise you that that's very sacred to me, it's very private to me. Unless it was like really my forever and like really saw about having kids with that person or like getting married, you will not see them anywhere. Even though it's my main

relationship. It's just not because it's sacred, it's something special, it's in the you are in a divine experience. But but that person the world doesn't need to know about that the world can have on my little dates here and there or whatever it is. But I just want to give this narrative because it's really supported me and my transition and my empowerment to who I meant to become and it's made me feel like there's just another option and I kind of

created this dating. I don't know this dating script this dating narrative on my own through trial and error, but it's brought me so much happiness and it's brought me so much joy and it's brought in so much relief that I don't need to feel like I need to be married or figure it out or be this girl or be alone so that the when the right guy comes he's not gonna like me like because it just all lies and it's all bullshit like live your life as a woman make

yourself happy. Put yourself first and know that when you do that, I promise you, even as a man put yourself first you know what I'm saying? And the right woman will find it will be fine. and like, I've dated successful men in many ways, like I've said, it's like, okay, we've got to find time here and move this and without. And I will say like, oh, I would never do this. And I have been as if I'm like, I would never do that as a powerful woman. And that is true in many ways. I wouldn't do

certain things. But when I'm in that sacred place, I do. I do it out of pure desire, because it doesn't feel like I'm being forced. It's like, oh, like, we're both busy. And I see he's trying, and it's an effort and like, and then it makes me more creative when they try and make him feel extra special, or I don't know. I don't know. So I just hope this provides you another narrative. And I think if you're wanting to go deeper on this relationship, you're wanting to find what is the

right way to date for you. How do you date? How do you create these magical fairytale moments? Definitely reach out to me and just say, hey, Colleen, I want to know more about finding love. I want to know more about finding a relationship. I want to know more about how you've curated this dating, you know, consciousness and scenario, and how you do have all these beautiful relationships then just reach out and say I'm ready

for my dream relationship. And I would love to offer you a space on how to find that for yourself. Because love and relationships will bring us to wholeness. It will return us to love it will return us to empowerment, it will return us to purity it will return us to being someone we never thought we could truly become. So anyway, I love you. I hope you guys love this episode 100 And leave a review. Let me know how it is and to have the most beautiful moment in time when

you receive this. Happy Monday.