You're at the Coaching Inn, 3D Coaching's virtual pub where we enjoy conversations with people who engage in the world of coaching. Hello and welcome to this week's edition of The Coaching In. I'm Claire Pedrick and today there are multiple reasons why it's a great pleasure to have as my guest my colleague, Rebi Hedger. Hello Rebi. So this is a pleasure because it's a great opportunity for you all to meet Rebi.
But also Rebi's been on maternity leave and today is the first day that we've done some work back together. And I feel like I'm breathing in you in different ways, which makes it really fabulous to have Rebi with us this morning today. So Rebi, tell us a bit about you and your coaching journey. And then I want to ask you all about what it's like coming back to work. Yeah, it's really lovely to be chatting. Yeah. So I have been an accredited coach since the end of 21.
have been working with people my whole life and was coaching before I knew I was coaching. I met 3D back in 2019 and realised that there was a method and I could get better at the thing I was already doing, which I found really exciting and yeah, just found like I'd found a language for something that I was always already doing. And so... Yeah, COVID was a good space for me to, yeah, put some hours in and become accredited. That felt like the next step for me.
And I sort of then came back into relationship with 3D. And then, yeah, I've been working for you guys a bit since the end of 21, I think. Yeah. With a gap in the middle of that. Yes. And what a pleasure it's been to work with you and You can tell how useful you are in a job when you go off for nearly a year and everybody misses you terribly. Yes, it's both a joy and yeah, I'm strange. think it's an odd thing to navigate as a woman.
It's my first baby and yeah, it's certainly been lots of learning to leave something that you love as a job and then to gain a huge blessing that is a child as well that you love. But yeah, navigating that has definitely been interesting. It's been good for us as an organization to feel that we have a 3D baby. It's really interesting because you saying I suddenly found out that was what I was doing because of course that was my journey.
And I'm just I'm curious to notice that, you know, 30 years on, those things are still happening that people are having conversations in in a working context and not recognizing it's coaching until they come across the word. Absolutely. And I think there was something for me around the fact it was a skill that I could get better at. It was a natural thing.
I've always naturally been good at walking alongside people and talking with them, journeying with people and to realize that actually this was a skill I could hone just like you hone lots of other skills. to actually be able to hone conversation as a skill, I think is the hidden gem of coaching really, that people don't realize. Yeah. Cause it's an art, right? Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. And I was doing it okay.
Like I was all right, you know, but actually I've been able to get much better and continue and hope to continue to get a lot better at it and to master it, guess. Yeah. And it's great that you do coaching for us. So there might be people listening who want to go, I'd like to have a conversation with her. So if you do just give us a, yeah, ping us an email. So I'm curious about a few things, Rebbe, about the gap and how you're noticing differently because you've been away from the work.
That's one kind of stream of questioning. And the other one is how did you prepare yourself to come back because you're of course in that millennial post COVID working from home stuff. So when I went back to work after my first child was born, I left her with the child minder and I went to work and you're doing the working from home sharing childcare thing. So that's another kind of strand of. Yeah, Where should we go? I'm happy to do both, I guess.
Yeah, the working from home thing is interesting. So me and my husband share the childcare of Simeon, our child. He is just coming up to nine months old as a self -employed person. That was as much statutory maternity pay I got. And my husband's self -employed too. And between us, that was a decision we made to share it. So we sort of both are working not full -time, but between us. are ending enough to live and enough to love our baby right now.
And so yeah, it's been an interesting thing to navigate because like you said, I'm not leaving the house. So he's not very far away. Part of that was a conscious decision and actually has enabled me to go back to work. It's made it really easy. I'm still breastfeeding him. And so I've not had to navigate all of that. And that's really lovely to be flexible. And that's part of our choice to do that. but also does make the space and the difference.
Yeah, tricky, I guess, because it's very close to home. Quite literally. When you say how well did you prepare, initial answer was not as well as I should have done. So I think you in some of our sort of back to work conversations, like, do you want some coaching? I was like, actually, yeah, that would be brilliant. Why didn't I think about that?
So you hooked me up for this brilliant coach called Rachel, who's actually got a real heart for journeying with women, of through, even through sort of pregnancy and through maternity leave. I'm sad I didn't clock her a year ago, if I'm honest, because I think that would have been even better. But yeah, so I've had some sessions with her sort of running back into. work and that has been brilliant.
mean, duh, like I'm a coach, I should know that, but coaching has been great as a space to process that because I think so it's such a weird mix of personal and professional that you're trying to manage. Like just inevitably when you're figuring out how to do that, those things both are in play. So it's quite a complex.
thing really and I don't think I'd quite I'm a bit gung -ho so was like yeah I'll be fine and actually the space to just work that out with her has been brilliant so if there's any women who are pregnant right now think ahead and you won't you won't think that you need it because you can't even get there but I wish that someone had yeah I wish I'd thought about that sooner really but these sessions have been brilliant to just sort segue maybe back into work.
And Rachel brings that amazing combination doesn't she because she has been a midwife. Yeah, absolutely. She has been a returning to work mum and she's a coach. Yeah, she's she's fab. So big shout out and thank you to her but but also just again to workplaces and to something I think we're still getting our head around in terms of how to support women in that journey.
And so and men if they're shared childcare and have taken potency leave but yeah, especially just to I think we You know, it's a huge thing to navigate and what a brilliant space coaching is to work that stuff out. We know it's about moving forward. We know it's a great space to do that. And actually, yeah. so to utilize that, if you are in that space or know someone who is say, get some coaching in, cause that's been, yeah, sort of saved my gung -ho approach at the last minute.
think that that was a good space to think that through. So what's different? because you had the coaching. I have had a space because it's unique, isn't it? You know, especially, guess I, you know, I'm self -employed. I have a few different things to manage when I'm coming back to work and I don't have a team of people to talk that through. have the 3D team.
They're brilliant, but from a sort of Rebi and my co -lab business and my, you know, my mom had my workspace, all of that coaching has allowed me to really face up to what I was finding difficult about that and have a space to go, okay, what do I need to do? What conversations do I need to have now?
In a world where my brain is so full of mom and work and all the other things that are going on, that was such a good accountable space actually for me to think that through and knowing nothing else was gonna. Yeah. And it sounds, Rebi, as though it was a unique space to be Rebi the mum, Rebi the worker, Rebi the human, Rebi the everything.
Yeah, because you can't, you can't necessarily, neither is it appropriate to bring all of those things to the conversations that you're having when you're thinking about coming back to work. But all of those things are so loud and so in play that I think to, yeah, like you say, to allow those, those different parts of yourself to talk to one another, almost. Coaching's a great. was brilliant for that.
To work out what conversations I needed to have with my husband, with 3D, with other parts of my business. It was a clean and safe space for me to figure that out. And especially doing that with someone who I knew had empathy was lovely, or is lovely. I still have another session with her. great. And we'll put Rachel's details in the show notes because that's her. thing, isn't it? So you walked away or hobbled away, seem to remember. You walked away.
You've been really, really focused on being a full -time mum. And I'm just really interested. What shifted in your perspective coming back to picking back work up? That's my sentence. I think a few things, I guess. I have needed to be clearer about my boundaries of work.
And so again, this might be slightly unique because I'm self -employed and part -time, but I don't now have endless evenings to pick up work or to just do that extra thing or, you know, as soon as I stop and clock off here, my responsibilities are immediately waiting for me outside the door. And therefore you just, you know, and I'm still a few weeks in, so I'm still figuring this out, but I think, you know.
being more disciplined around those boundaries is really good, not only for me, but also for the people that I'm working with. And I think being able to have had some brilliant conversations with our colleagues Sue, as I was talking about coming back to work around roles and stuff, know, and that acknowledgement, I think what's odd is that you're aware that nine months has passed in the life of the business or wherever you're working.
And, and What was brilliant is I think Sue recognized that I had a gift to bring in that that space wasn't like, well, you've missed nine months. So you better catch up. Actually it was, okay. So tell us what you notice, you know, what you have a gift to bring because you've not been here. And I wonder how many women have to play. Sadly, don't get that experience, you know, end up playing catch up. you've not been here for nine months. You know, figure it out and actually.
I think Sue bought a real gift by saying, really honored me and recognized that what I've been doing for my months was really important. And there's a gift now that I have to bring because I've not seen things. You so do. It's a bit of a scary gift. know, you and I have had, we've had two different conversations today before this podcast, haven't we? About two completely different pieces of work. And I notice that the clarity that you bring, look at picking it up again and looking at it.
from a different place is really going, really move the conversation forward in a very creative way that I and others were able to suddenly also see things in an even more different way because you went, well, there's this and there's this and what about this? And this is a bit confusing. So. Yeah, it's exciting to me that that could be a different way that people think about women coming back to work. That actually it's, it is a gift that they've had to. a time away, not hindrance.
And also for us coming back to think I'm a gift coming back, not I'm a burden because I've missed time. I think there's such an odd tension you have to figure out that is not feeling guilty for the fact you've been away. Because actually, I think you've always said to me, you you're doing an important thing. Which is brilliant. I don't understand at the same time. But you know, there's an honor there, isn't there, of what?
know what that role is but also as we return how are we honouring each other and that I think is really important. Yeah and as you're talking I think I realise that we've done something that I don't know how conscious we were of doing it so So a lot of what we've talked about so far in this conversation is you offering stuff to us as the rest of the team. And how easy it is to say to you, you missed nine months.
So we need to tell you all the things that have gone on in the nine months, which we haven't done. things have happened and we've moved on. I guess, I guess I think I'm probably assuming that you'll pick it up. The things that are matter. But that's, isn't that funny, Kate, that's what we do in caching, isn't it? We don't often, we don't need to know the bit in the middle. Yeah. We haven't backfilled you with any of the story at all.
And we've started where we are now and said, well, basically we've said, what do you notice? And I think listeners, you're going to start noticing that, Robbie to say what she noticed, it's going to pay off in many different ways in the way we communicate with you. So yeah, interesting. Yeah. And I, yeah, as we've been talking, I haven't even realized, but I think done a lot of thinking around, you know, I think as we're all aware, it's really, it's really topical, isn't it?
The cost of childcare and cost of living and navigating, you know, work. And I don't even like the phrase back to work because I've just been doing the hardest job I've ever done. actually, so I don't feel like I'm going back to work. I feel like I'm doing new work and different work, but even the language around that.
But how can organizations take this like coaching approach to women returning, which is not only on a practical level, offering them support and space to think, but also, like we talked about, not not backfilling, not worrying about what's been missed, but starting now and saying, where are we? Let's look forward. that excites me that what difference that might make, I think. Yeah, and yeah, and it brings a uniqueness.
And it's always been important to me, you know, I set 3D coaching up when I was not very far beyond the stage you're at now. And that family friendly thing's been a really important piece all the way through, hasn't it? So. Absolutely. But it hasn't. That's why I good to work for. But it also hasn't damaged the business. It's benefited it, think, many lots of many different ways.
So if there was one thing that you could say to people who are taking time out for whatever reason that is, because it might be through redundancy, it might be through maternity leave, might be through sickness, it might be through all sorts of things, what would be the one thing that you would say to them, Rebbe? Yes, I mean, I've realised as we've been chatting is that know that you're a gift actually to you or to wherever you're working.
that whatever that time off has been for instead of sort of making up time, actually asking whoever you're working for and realising that you're a gift to them that you haven't been there. Not the opposite.
Like you said, you know, I've not been around, there was stuff that I left and it was Organisations have to fill holes and all sorts of people go off and that's not easy, but actually to not carry that as a guilt thing, that, that wasn't how it was left at all, but actually as you return, get coaching, two things, but get some of your own coaching and then also know that you're a gift to wherever you're working.
And having been covering some of your work, I have to say I'm very pleased to see that. Yeah. Yeah. That's good. Yeah. Well, Rebbe, thank you for coming to the Coaching In today. Thanks for having me. And if people want to contact you, because they want coaching with you, how do they contact you? I've got a 3D email address, so rebbe at 3dcoaching .com. Perfect. Thank you. And we'll put Rachel's. stuff in the show notes. So thank you for listening. Thank you, Rebi, for coming.
And I know that you're just about to switch hats into your into your mum hat. So thank you for making time to speak to us today. Bye bye, everyone. welcome. If you've enjoyed what you've heard today, we'd love you to share the podcast with a friend or leave a comment on social media. And if you'd like to become a regular at The Coaching In, you can subscribe on Podbean and all major podcast channels. We look forward to welcoming you next time.
You've been listening to The Coaching In, 3D Coaching's virtual pub. For more information, check out 3dcoaching .com.