This is The Coaching Inn, a podcast from 3D Coaching. Welcome to this week's episode of The Coaching Inn. I'm Claire Pedrick, and today it's my pleasure to be in conversation with Ridhima Tomar from Common Purpose. Welcome, Ridhima. Thank you so much for having me. It's a real pleasure. I guess people are going to want to know a bit about Common Purpose. So if you could tell us a bit about that to start with, that would be amazing. Absolutely, Claire.
So in fact, before I dive into what is common purpose, how about I tell you a bit about my story? That was my second question, but far away. Well, that's great. Just to let the listeners know that we haven't planned this. This is quite coincidental. You know, I'm a believer of stories. You know it, I love stories.
you know, jogging down the memory lane, when you asked me to contribute to this podcast, I was taken back to the day when I spoke to the founder of the organization, Middleton, about common purpose. And when she was talking very passionately about common purpose, what we do, what we are doing world over, It made me think about what role and what value I can add. But before that, and of course, this is a result of reflection. I have reflected a lot on this.
Really trying to understand what my purpose is and how my purpose aligned with common purpose. Because I think you come at a stage in your life, where you start asking these questions. Perhaps we may not have the neat answers. We are not expected to have neat answers. But you know, before even launching onto the, actually after launching my journey off with Common Purpose, I also got on the journey, allowed me to explore my purpose further.
my purpose, which is to give voice to those who don't have one, give the agency to those who don't have one. And when you juxtapose it with Common Purpose purpose, the organization's mission has been to empower leaders. The organization has been devoted for over 30 years to empower leaders with inspiration, skills and connections so that they can become better as leaders, become more effective, become more inclusive. And that's what struck a chord with me.
And I realized that this is the organization which I'm going to impact. upon and see what I can do with the organization. So that's my story. I think it was very important for me to work with an organization which aligns with my purpose is the point which I'm trying to make. Going back to your question about common purpose, as I said, it's all about empowering leaders, equipping leaders with the right set of skills so that they can cross boundaries.
And there are so many boundaries around us, Claire. And these boundaries have also resulted in fragmentation in our society. When we look around us in our communities, there's so much of divide. And in the last six, seven years of my work with Common Purpose, what I've discovered is that leaders who go through a common purpose experience are able to find that common purpose in this highly divided, fragmented society. And the reality is we need more leaders like these.
We need leaders who are crossing boundaries, solving complex problems because the reality is problems cross boundaries. Problems do not look at boundaries hidden in front of you, visible, invisible boundaries. Problems are crossing many, many boundaries, whether those boundaries are as a result of the sectors and specialisms, generations and geographies, boundaries as a result of backgrounds and beliefs. problems don't consider these, they just cross.
individuals look at them, they get influenced, they get impacted, they make assumptions, it can be obstacle for individuals. So common purpose purpose is to give them, like I said, the skills so that they are able to cross these boundaries and solve complex problems. And we've been And when I say, will wonder, and so will the listeners, how do you do that? It sounds so big, crossing boundaries and solving complex problems. In terms of how we do that, of course, the why is clear, why we do that.
How we do that is by running leadership programs globally. And these programs are targeted at leaders who are young. young and green university students graduates, emerging leaders, senior leaders going up to the, you know, really higher, highest of the highest in an ecosystem and a leader leading the ecosystem.
So we look at multiple generations because there's a lot of conversation around challenges that are emerging as a result of intergenerational element, which is, which kicks into leadership and management. So yeah. That's what we do. Wow, so many things to pick up. So there's something there that's very strongly linked around really enabling people to make connections.
And I love that thing about breaking boundaries, because I meet many leaders and the best leadership program I hear about is yours, which is why it was such a great opportunity for us to connect. recently and I wonder whether it is because it enables you to see things through the eyes of somebody else. Absolutely Claire, you're spot on and which is why the it is in the DNA of common purpose that learning comes from real life experiences.
It comes from experiences that could be rooted in the communities in the cities and these experiences when they are shared via the lens of an inspirational leader or perhaps a leader who may not see himself traditionally as leaders. But when you hear these real life experiences, that's what makes up our learning journey so powerful and impactful. And this is not me speaking, this is not common purpose speaking.
We've got a robust impact mechanism which enables us to really capture the you know, the behavior shift which an individual is making as a result of participating on a common purpose experience. The feedback tells us that how by making connections which are much more beyond their sectors or specialisms because, often we work in silos. Unconsciously, we end up working in our silos, at times even consciously because, you know, because of the industry perhaps we are working in.
What we have come to understand is when you start moving outside of your silos, when you start building those bridges and making connections can really result in innovative ideas. And by doing that, you're also feeding into building resilience of an individual person as well as organization. So there's a whole lot of magic that can happen when You learn from real life experiences. They are powerful. They are quite impactful. They're relatable.
know, it's like, there's so much that a participant can associate when they hear from our speakers and from our graduates, you know, who have gone through the experience themselves, the real problems which they face when they are a mid-career professional, you know, the problems around confidence, imposter syndrome. You know, how do you really tackle it in real life? It's easier said than done. How do you learn from failures? We all fail.
How do we ensure that we fall in love with problems because that's what they are meant for. How do you shift that mindset? So really learning from each other and I always say this to our participants Claire that I'm not an expert. Common Purpose is an expert in cross-country leadership. We know what are the right tools and techniques that will help an individual to move from point A to point B. But I don't know anything about leadership theories.
Yes, you can make me, I can tell you more about cultural intelligence and leading ground authority, which are the blocks that make up cross-boundary leadership. But when it comes to the learning journey, it's quite self-directed. I always tell participants, we'll tell you all the things that you need to know, go from point A to B, but you need to own this process. and unique because it is self-directed. Yes, that's so exciting, isn't it?
tell us a story about, obviously not without breaking confidence boundaries, but tell us a story about one or two of the people who this has really transformed. There's so many stories I'll have to, I'm trying to think which one should I share with you. This one rings a bell because It's just today that I was in touch with this individual. I think again, know, chat amongst rules, this is one of those fundamentals that we abide by when we are running programs.
So I'm going to keep that in mind and give you bit of insight. I'll give you a bit about the profile and focus on the impact. So an individual who is a mid-career in a policing set up, those of you who may be familiar with and those who are not. When you look at police in UK, specifically if you're looking at police structures in London, that's where I'm focusing at. There are various systemic issues which police across the country has been labelled with.
And those systemic issues have given rise to a lot of challenges which leaders within the system face. Underpin it with a lot of challenges which any individual will be going through as a part of their, you know, sort of career ladder. So this individual mid-career in the police, in a police force, she is, she was, she was trying to become more effective in building partnerships and partnerships with those who are different to her. And when I say that, do I say that?
Because again, you know, the police in the UK, one of their, One of their sort of driving forces is to build bridges with the community and work with diverse communities. And in order to do that, they need to understand differences, understand different cultures. And by cultures, I mean a whole lot of things. It's the big C that I'm talking about, not limited to your demographics, your background, but the intersectionality is within it.
And how do you embrace these differences and ensure that whatever you do, allows you to become inclusive. So you're not just inclusive in thoughts, but you're inclusive in actions. Now, she participated on the program.
She had not somehow engaged with individuals on the leadership program who are from different sectors and industries, coming from communities, activists, custodial officers from prison, you've got analysts from banks, you've got administrative, roles from public sector organization, you've got the domestic and the international charity sector organization. And suddenly that opened Pandora's box for her.
She realized that some of the problems which she is facing as a mid-career professional were crossing boundaries and realized upon after speaking with individuals, with participants, because we create spaces, Claire, which are designed to be quite open and safe so that participants can have honest conversations with each other. Because some of these conversations, as you will recognize, Clay, you've been working with leaders for so many years. These are very difficult conversations to have.
But because we know the trick, we can say that. We've been doing it for over 30 years. We are able to create a psychological safety for participants to really open up. And she recognized that some of the problems were crossing boundaries and picked up some certain things which were working in a different environment, let's say in a banking setup. And she was able to take that and execute it in her system.
Similarly, when it comes to building relationships, promoting and maintaining those relationships, learning from other peers who she was working with. And this is happening at a local national level, Claire, in terms of the diversity of the groups that we make. So she's able to also learn from not just people in London, but people in Midlands, people in Southwest, taking it to the next level, really understanding how problems are crossing boundaries at an international level.
really again, learning from different perspectives, cross pollination of ideas with individuals coming from different parts of the world. You South Africa leaders in USA, leaders in ASEAN region. So that's one story. I'm going on and on but so going back to where she started with inclusion, building relationships. I was in a conversation with a line manager and he said this to me, know Riddhima, she's six inches taller since I last met her. What have you done to her?
She is doing wonders with her direct reports, the team which she manages. there's a high degree of confidence in how she articulates and how she puts her thoughts across. So, yeah, that's one story for you. I'm happy to share more, but tell me what you think. That's so interesting, isn't it? Because I think there's something about exposure to other ways of thinking enables us to inhabit our role or our being differently. And absolutely be more purposeful. Absolutely.
I think it's also, you know, it's that typical when you start venturing outside of your system, you realize that your problems are quite small in front of other problems. And again, you know, like another example, somebody in the accountancy, who works for an accountant firm.
He thought that his problems are the biggest problems, but when we exposed him and the other participants to an environment, which is a part of our programs, know, immersive environment, really able to, you know, feel what's around you. Of course that doesn't happen in the COVID. We're in different set up altogether, but we try to ensure that the immersive element is intact in our leadership program.
So, you know, he, so, So Claire, so this is like post COVID, of course, when we were able to visit an organization, which is a part of our curriculum. And he visited a prison services, one of the centers here in London, outside of London. And he was blown away by the problems which the custodial officer shared with the group. Because suddenly, realize, well, this individual, this officer wakes up every morning. is absolutely motivated with what he does.
And he also knows the fact that his life is at risk, can be at risk every day of the year when he wakes up and does his job. it's a normal thing for him. He deals with it. He always has a smile. He's always smiling when he's talking about his problems. Suddenly it gives you a different perspective and understanding of how we at times even really make things big in our head, we overthink and make things look like bigger than they actually are.
Not trying to dismiss that, you know, there are problems. I'm not trying to say that, but I think it's about understanding that there's so much of, there's so much that we can learn from different perspectives. And to be able to do that is also a talent. And to be able to do that is also, it also means that you are training yourself as a leader.
Because you need to show that curiosity, you need to have that hunger and the thirst to understand, you know, why does Claire does what she does, what inspires and motivates Claire. And that feeds into, building relationships, building trusted relationship, so on and so forth. And what you're describing is looking out. And it's interesting, because when you described overthinking, I wonder whether overthinking is such a huge issue. in the 21st century.
And one of the things I noticed about overthinking is that we overlook in and what you're offering is looking out, which is such a different perspective, isn't it? Absolutely. And I think there's a very interesting sort of dance. know, one of my colleagues, she uses this analogy. As leaders, we should be able to figure out which role we want to play. So you've got the balcony and you've got the dance floor.
Where do you want to stand as a leader when you are solving a complex problem, where you're working on a project or whether you're in a difficult conversation? And by that, it will also determine what do you do as a leader? It may require some reflection, so inward looking, as you said, but equally it might also mean looking outside, asking for help.
Again, think this is biggest, isn't it the biggest issue when you reach a certain position, we always think that we got to know it all, we got to pull the trick and you know, but the reality is you don't have to know all the answers as a leader. One of my favourite things to talk about when I'm training mentors is to encourage people not to give advice, but to show the working out. to say, so if I think about something like that, the things I think about are this and this and this and this.
And you're almost inviting people into other people's conscious, aren't you? And subconscious. And having the privilege of of getting a bit of an inside look. It's like holding the mirror. I often say this, instead of you holding the mirror, ask Claire to hold the mirror for you and then you look at it. Because I'm sure when you coach people in criticals, I'm sure you discover that there are blind spots. You all have them.
Unconscious bias which the entire world has been talking about for so many years. It's ingrained in us because that's how psychology works and you know it better best Claire. But I think the difference is when we engage with our participants, it's recognizing that it's okay to have these biases. It's okay to have these blind spots. The question is what are you doing about it? If you now recognize that I have a blind spot, sit on it is not, it's not, it's not a lead.
It's not what leaders is expected to do something about it, know, actioning something which will bring that change in your behavior, so that you're able to then make, you know, sort of transfer it into making a habit. That's what matters. Yeah, one of the things that we do is to say to people, what do you think other people notice when that happens? Because I think we We judge ourselves, don't we, on our intention, what I'm planning to do.
But if we're in conversation, you're not interested in my intention, you'll judge me on the impact that what I do or say and how I do or say it lands with you. Yeah, yeah. And it's interesting, you know, going back to the point which you made, Claire, about inward, looking inwards, which again is quite crucial and something which we emphasize a lot. on is the reflection piece which allows you to look at words, break it down for your listeners.
There's this tool which is again a part of the cross-boundary leadership. We call it QuorumFlex and I'll tell you a bit more about it. So when you look at the cross, when you look at cross-boundary leadership, cross-boundary leadership, our cross-boundary leadership is underpinned with Leading Beyond Authority, which is a framework and you've got cultural intelligence, which is another framework that feeds into the cross-bundly leadership work or which sort of is the score to our programs.
Now, when you look at cultural intelligence, now people are talking about cultural intelligence. Many would know that it is the ability to cause divides and thrive in multiple cultures. That's how common purpose defines it, but there are different ways to describe it. It's about how do you get better when it comes to working with different cultures? For common purpose, it's a simple yet an empowering learning framework.
What it does is, that CQ, that's what we say call it, short form of cultural intelligence, CQ will help people to unpack their own culture and confidently work with other cultures. That's what it does. Because the framework is cultural, it is cultural agnostic.
What it does is then it allows people to examine the finer nuances of identity and difference, moving the conversation into a more meaningful space where people can really get to the bottom of exploring the many intersections in a society. Now, within that framework, so what is this framework? And I think it's very useful. done, I've practiced it in the last couple of years. It's called CoordnFlex. What is Core-In-Flex? Core is, as the word suggests, it's something that you strongly believe in.
This is what Julia Middleton would say because she's written a book on it, Cultural Intelligence, if anyone would like to learn more about it. It's your death body list. It's that bucket list which you will never compromise upon. It defines you who you are. These are your values, beliefs and your behavior. So my goal, for example, is to ensure that everyone gets a voice on the tables, it's equality.
So anything that is compromising equality, Claire, when I'm working with my stakeholders, whether that be in a project, I'll just, there's a big conflict then. I'm gonna shout. That's what my colleagues will tell you. Whereas flex is, as the word suggests, and it implies, you know, adapting. How do you adapt to, different circumstances and environment around you. Again, when flexing your behaviors, your habits, your beliefs and your values.
When I'm working with different stakeholders, where stakeholders are made up of individuals coming from different cultures, different demographics, I work with communities in London, such as Muslim communities, Jewish communities. There are certain expectations from such communities. For example, Muslim community, when I'm interacting with them, there's an expectation to give you just break it down.
When I, a couple of years back, before not even knowing what this framework is, I just walked in, I'm somebody who's a believer of equality, went to an Imam, extended my hand and tried to shake his hand. Now, I'm a South Asian, people will make an assumption about me that I should know about this practice. Well, I didn't. and I went and did that because in the back of my mind what's going is cold. What's going to me? Equality. Everyone is on the same page. Why should I flex?
But I realized that but I sort of asked my question, what is the expectation? If you want to make this relationship work because there is a certain action that is bothering an individual because it is his core. Can I compromise? you flex? Not compromise is not the right word but can you flex? Is it by flexing, will it help you still work towards your core values and belief systems? Perhaps, yes.
And I flex and I realize that next time around, I'll recognize that there are certain practices which I need to be mindful of. you you flex, you're at, flex could be a lot of different things for a lot of many people. Again, it's easier said than done, especially when you are in difficult conversations, when you're trying to talk about equality in current times, which is very difficult. It's again a simple framework, Claire, allows individuals to look inward.
So going back to the point which you said, inward, think Odinflex helps that. our participants get to explore this on our programs. again, the feedback tells us that they find this tool useful because A, it gives them a common language to hold perhaps difficult conversations when they are in. And secondly, it helps them just to better understand where do they stand and then know it links back to the links that links back to what we started with purpose.
It also helps in understanding what your purpose is, where do you stand? So yeah, I should share it with your listeners. Yeah, that sounds really interesting. So the book is Cultural Intelligence by Julia Middleton and we'll put a link to that in the program notes. Thank you for that. Yes. And I think again, It's very much about practicing it, Claire. think, again, it's very important.
There are a lot of things available out there, you and I know, but it's about how do you ensure that you embedded in your day to day. I found it extremely useful. And it has helped me in my conversations with people who come from different cultures, not just where they come from, but really going to the bottom of understanding what's the primary motivator for Claire? Why does she do what she do?
And how can I... find that common connection with class, if you're able to solve complex problems together. That's just really interesting, isn't it? Yeah, because it connects to some work that I've been doing with some colleagues around being the right size. Because I think that one of the things that we forget sometimes is how somebody else might see that I'm bigger or smaller than them. just by the nature of their core, I guess.
And I think if you're large and white and English, I think there's quite a lot that we need to really think through in relation to what's the impact that that has on others, educated, articulate, da-di-da, whatever. Yeah, there's something about looking at ourselves through other people's eyes.
Absolutely. And I think, this is very interesting when you said this, because it made me think that when you come, when you have... come through hardship, if you're not privileged, if you're not privileged, we've seen the hardships. And to add to that, you come from an ethnic minority background, and you come from a, maybe you're an underrepresented group. There's so many obstacles that you've faced in your life.
What happens is Claire, again, sort of relying upon some of the pedagogies here, you know, as individuals even we can hold prejudices. As in person where I have faced discrimination at work, Claire, personally, even I have experienced it when I moved to this country. Some of those difficult times, especially those bad times when you have had, just sort of, you know, you've, it just, at times it blinds you.
And as a result, even as a person who stands for inclusion, And I'm gung-ho about inclusion and equality. Even I can hold prejudices. So I think it's very important. I think the point which I'm trying to make is it's very important to also understand that as people who have faced discrimination or individuals who have experienced some hardships, even they can hold prejudices. Again.
It requires deep reflection and it also requires feedback, having those trusted advisors, having a group of trusted advisors around you, having those mentors around you, people who you trust, lot of people whose opinions, you get a lot of opinions, it's not about listening to those opinions. There's a big difference between, I still remember a friend of mine told me there's a big difference between opinion and feedback and who you get it from really matters.
really sort of relying upon those trusted advisors to understand as an individual, what are those blind spots and assumptions that even you hold so that you are more aware about it and mindful of it when you have conversations or work with people who are different to you. Yeah, so you've talked about mentors. And as we begin to move towards the end of this, Redeemer, I'm just really interested, how does common purpose use coaching?
Well, I would say it's one of the most useful tools that has done wonders on our learning journeys for participants. And one of the programs that uses this tool quite actively is the American Express Leadership Academy. And I have to say it because I was exposed to coaching via Leadership Academy, which the organization has been running for over 11 years. It's in partnership with American Express Foundation.
And it's all about supporting the social purpose leaders, leaders in the charity sector in different parts of the world. In here in the UK, we run this academy. And in fact, if anyone is interested, we will be running the UK American Express Leadership Academy in autumn this year. And it's a free academy.
Coaching feeds into that because what it does is that it allows individuals to really assess some of the personal leadership challenges that they are facing because it's independent and coaching is something we don't have expertise in. So we rely upon trusted of group of coaches like yourselves to help our leaders. overcome some of these personal leadership challenge.
And what has happened is as a result that some of these leaders Claire, who never even think of getting an opportunity to have a coach, because they never thought that, it's a thing for me. Something that, why should I get a coach? I don't have a problem. I think that mindset that, it's not about those who have a problem need a coach.
So it has immensely benefited our participants on the academy, the coaching in terms of addressing their personal leadership challenges and really carving out an action plan, which is where coaches come in. How can you tackle some of these issues? Of course, it's about a conversation. It's about a meaningful conversation that you're having with each other, but how can you extract some of the learnings wire an action plan so that you can embed the learning when you go back into your system.
Yeah, that's amazing. Thank you. So how do people contact you and how do they find out more about the Common Purpose programs? Well, of course, the first thing is to log into our website. You can just type Common Purpose and hopefully our Google search engines are doing the magic so you can always visit our website. But yeah, feel free to reach out to me via LinkedIn. I am available on the handle Rithima Tomar. I am reachable via Twitter at Rithima88.
And yeah, I'll be happy to pick up a conversation if you would be interested in leadership opportunities locally in the UK or across the globe. We work out of five continents, just so you know. And yeah, there's some exciting opportunities coming within London. There's a conversation that I've started, Claire, around building leadership capacity in London, which is very much in the lines of what the mayor's vision is, promoting equality, diversity, inclusion.
And yeah, if anyone is interested, do reach out. There's some exciting programs coming up for young leaders. Again, free programs, investment, our investment in young leaders. So yeah, there's a lot in store. Brilliant. That sounds amazing. because our listeners are global, they'll be pleased to know that that's a global opportunity. So thank you so much for sharing your story and sharing some of your insights and sharing some of the work of Common Purpose.
And I know that that will cause many of us to make our own meaning and to think about stuff. So that's been a great thought prodder. Thank you, Redeemer. You're very welcome, Claire. Thank you all. Take care. Bye bye, everybody.