You're at the Coaching Inn, 3D Coaching's virtual pub where we enjoy conversations with people who engage in the world of coaching. Hello, I'm Claire and this special Friday Book Group episode, I'm back with Becky Hall as we finish our journey through the art of enough. And just a bit of a heads up, if you loved it, do review it either on Amazon, if that's where you bought the book or on Goodreads, because every review helps other people learn about the book and that's so important.
And it also makes your author do a happy dance. It does. Yay! Like that. Welcome back, Becky. It's good to be live in the room with you again. Thank you, Claire, and thank you to everybody watching and for all the people who've been part of the book group. It's just been a fantastic journey. I really enjoyed it. So, yeah, thank you. So my question to you, Becky, is what have you learnt? Which is a really good question.
I've learnt... that it's really hard to predict what people are going to read in and which bits are going to chime because of course, as I was writing the book, I have my own personal favorite bits or the bits that really resonate for me. And then there are the bits which I think, gosh, should I include that or not? And it's all a question of editing and re-editing and deciding.
And before each time we did the podcast or before each chapter questions, I would reread the chapter and go, yes, okay, well, that's going to be what people ask about. And then often it wasn't that. And of course, as part of the writing process, I had beta readers and different people reading it. But now I'm slightly separated from it or I'm a bit further away.
It's really interesting to see which bits land or which bits resonate because of course we're also a year and a half on from when I was actually writing it. I think that was the main interest. And it was also the thing that made it so delightful to do because it becomes a conversation, which is what I've always wanted. I always said, let's have a conversation about enough. What does that mean for you? So it really felt like that.
And anyone who's listening in and has just arrived at finding out about the Art of Enough You can talk to Becky on LinkedIn. Yeah, LinkedIn, Twitter, Instagram. Basically, I usually use my name and the art of enough. I think on Twitter, it's just the art of enough. But if you Google either, but I'm very active. Really, my main platforms are LinkedIn and Instagram with a bit of Twitter. Brilliant. And that's a great place to keep the conversation going. Exactly.
So what would you do differently in the next edition? It's a great question too. I think... I always felt about this book that what I was doing was giving sort of quite, I was covering a lot of ground. It goes, because I wanted to do this sort of nested systems thing where you do the inside, out, the inner, the outer, the sort of bigger system. they're doing, being enough, doing enough, having enough. I think I could go deeper in each chapter.
I think I could go deeper and further in each chapter. And I would probably add in some more practices. Again, when I first conceived the book, I had so many practices for each chapter. And in the end, we were like, no, no, no, don't overload. But there are so many things that I think are still very live, especially about how people can be in the present moment, really be in the present moment. I was coaching two people this morning who were just really wrestling with these very issues.
how, I think I would probably expand a little bit on that, which is sort of chapter three about presence, but it's a bit deeper and bigger than that. And perhaps talk a little bit more about burnout and overwhelm because it's so endemic at the moment. in my practice, certainly people I'm working with, I'm serving. So I would maybe, I think I maybe go deep, a bit deeper into some things.
Or maybe I'll just wait and see which are the ones that really resonate and then just do the art of enough to or a second book. Yeah, because it could almost be seven books, couldn't it? It really could. you know, I'm conscious that I am I could have done that, you know, and look at my book. For those of you watching, I've got a very full bookshelves and piles of books. I buy books all the time. I love reading and researching. And there are books, in fact, on all of these things.
Very, very good ones. I hope I reference lots of them to give people sort of signposts. But it's that combination of who we are that allows us and enables us to do what we can do. in a world that really requires us to rethink how we operate, that I wanted to go for in the end. But yeah, each chapter could be a book, easily. I've got a pile next to me, which is now one, two, four, six, eight, which is 13 books that I'm looking at, researching for the next one that I'm writing.
then I keep thinking, I need to know more about that. Do you know what I did, Claire? Every time I wrote a book, a chapter, I mean, I'd get down all the books that I thought were, I would even sort of want to remember. And I'd put them out in a big sort of rainbow behind me so that I sort of had them to draw on and knowing which bits that I could do because, because like you, I'm an eclectic, I'm a magpie, I that's useful there, or that's useful there, how can I draw that in?
But not feeling overwhelmed by your own research is course part of the problem of the child. Yes, as I said to my husband this morning, it's like a rabbit run. Once you start going down it, there's more and more and more and more, isn't there? And you've got to actually, this is, this is where the line is. Yeah, exactly. I mean, yeah, I'm sure that if I wrote the book now, it would be slightly different.
It would still have the same themes, but it would have different and, and that is the editing process. There is the point where you say, right, okay, I've, I've this is where I'm happy and I'll send this one off. And what's useful to know is that from this particular exercise, this lovely book group is that people resonate with it. It makes people curious. It makes them think, okay, how can I explore this? And if that's the case, then that's brilliant job done.
And enough is enough and it doesn't have to be perfect, does it? And isn't that the point? Exactly, it is really is the point and the irony, I'm very conscious of my own paradox. Although, I think I've always said, I don't know if I said it in the first time we talked about it, Claire, but you you write the book that you want to read. And certainly, this book is the book that I would have read, really wanted to read in my 30s.
And of course, because I've then done lots of inquiry and lots of learning and work on myself. I'm now in a position where I can share that to people who are equally wanting that. So it's an ongoing process for me too. So stopping was a good thing. Yeah. Yeah. And what impact is it having? Well, I hope it's having good impact on people and I do hear that it is. know, I get nearly every week on LinkedIn, somebody that I've never met contacts me and says, I read your book and it's really helped.
It's been really useful. So that makes me just really happy. And I'll tell you the nicest story that I heard, which is it just touched my heart. A friend of mine was telling, me about a mutual friend of ours who's gone through some tough times and was recently in rehab. And, and it had gone well for her and she was saying to my other friend, that it had gone well and he said, well, what was it that made the difference for you this time?
And she said, well, she said, don't tell her, but it was Becky's book. I read Becky's book and It made me, I had a lump in my throat. And then to add, as if that wasn't enough, she then said, and she'd met this other woman in rehab who she'd not met before. this other woman came down to breakfast one morning and said, I'm just reading this book. You should try it. And it was my book. And the person I'm talking about said, That's my friend. She's my friend.
And anyway, but nonetheless, it's the real impact of that was, gosh, if this is making a difference to people at a time of need, when they really need it, I just felt completely humbled, actually. felt really like, gosh, what a good use of my time that it could make a difference to people like that. And if you only wrote it for those two people, it was worth it, wasn't it? Totally. I mean, really, I mean, it really did feel like that. My heart just I just felt completely heart filled.
You know, I wasn't proud, proud for me. I was just pleased that that had happened. And exactly that if I always said, you know, if it makes a difference to one person's life, then that's a good thing. Of course I want to, there's a bit of me that want the extroverted me wants everyone to read it and everyone to love it. But actually, I don't want that I want it to land and land where it makes a difference. yeah, it's done that.
so, and I think it's probably done that to people that I haven't met. The funny thing about having a book, you know this Claire, is that people read it that you lose contact with who's reading it or not. And that's the exciting and scary bit, isn't it? Indeed, it really is. Yeah, I mean, and some people will read it and not like it, of course, and that's fine. But there'll be plenty of people who read it and refer to it. then you think, OK, gosh, that's the stuff that I've put out there.
And from my point of view as a coach and a facilitator, it's a really lovely feeling. that I'm giving something into the discourse. Because very often, think, and deliberately, because part of my stance or our stance as coaches and facilitators is to sort of step back and see more and facilitate and hold spaces and contain. But it means that we're not directly in the conversation where we're facilitating it.
So actually something about articulating, for me, this was about articulating what I think. about the world or what this is my contribution to the world, which felt it's a sort of different movement and it's very satisfying in and of itself. Finding your voice. Really that and allowing it to be heard when so much of our time we're sort of going, well, it's not about me, of course, there's you know, thinking about your book and your work.
totally love that approach, is, know, less is definitely more. Say less, speak less, offer useful questions, sit back and allow the space for thinking. And this is a different offer. It's a different state, if you like. And it's really interesting because mine's now been out for 18 months, 20 months, and it's suddenly got another new life. huh. Yeah. Yeah, that's lovely. I've noticed that actually, it's really getting, know, some people are talking about it.
And it's, that's the lovely thing as well is that you let it, you stop writing it and then let it go. You know, I really felt like, you know, it felt like the image that always came to me was as though I had, it was a bird and I was sort of releasing it into the, into the sky and going, well, fly, fly, fly little bird, knows where you'll land. And you can't know. you know, it's, yeah. Yeah, although I do want to another one called I am not a guru.
Is that the name for your next book, No, but it should be, because people go, I can't believe I'm meeting you you want to go, I'm just a human. That was the point of the book you just said. Please, please, I'm a human, just like you, a human being. Yeah, just one who knows how to put things down and writing really well. I had a zoom intro conversation last week with somebody and I was covering for a colleague who there was a reason my colleague couldn't do it for some reason.
And the this lady came on the call and she and I, my name was there and she went, are you she? Well, marvellous. That's lovely. And I went, she's a human. Yes. Yes. I love that. And she takes calls. Yeah. And talks about stuff. Yeah. Yeah. It's really, yeah. It's a funny one, that, isn't it? it really brings me back to when I was writing my book about how much of yourself to put into stuff. And my book's very different from yours in that respect.
which was how much of my story do I tell and how much don't I tell and which bits do I keep in, which bits serve the learning and which bits are me just liking writing stuff about me. And it was a really, it's a really interesting dance because I really wanted to give the tone of voice that I wasn't telling anybody how to be. I was saying, this is a journey I've been on. I wanted it to be really invitational. And part of that is showing yourself and offering your own humanity into it.
Which is of course, when we get these sort of super fans or people who really admire your work, it can be an intimidation and it's the absolute opposite movement, isn't it? It's a paradox almost. Yeah, was talking to somebody yesterday about presenting, because he'd seen me present something and He said that was a really good presentation. said, well, the art of presentation, like the art of writing, is not what do I want to say.
It is what are the things that I've got to say is appropriate for the people who are listening. Yeah. And that means that we say something else altogether often. Yeah, totally. Totally. I love that. Yes. Someone once said to me, if you're thinking about yourself when you're presenting, then... you're thinking about the wrong thing, you need to be thinking about the audience and more than that, the impact.
And if you end up thinking about the impact you want to make, then you, like you say, you say other stuff and writing is very much the same as that in a way. It's sort of like going, what's, what's of service, what's of service to the idea of what you're trying to say, what you're trying to get across, how will that land? And it's, it's a really lovely process actually, because it makes it moves.
It's the movement from ego to soul if you use that terminology or ego to super ego or deepest self or yeah, it feels much more purpose related. You've thrown me out. rabbit run to go down there. There is, yeah. Sorry, Claire. You could give me a book recommendation when we finish this podcast. Well, it's been such a joy to have you at the Coaching Inn for these weeks. listeners, we will be... pulling a pool together of all of the book groups with Becky.
So that if you're new to listening to this and you want to listen to all of them, you'll be able to find them at the Coaching Inn all in one place. Thank you. Yeah. But thank you. And it's just been great. Thank you. What I'd really like to say, is a huge thank you to you and to Rebbe and the team at 3D Coaching.
But I'd love to say a massive thank you to everyone who read the chapters, contributed questions or didn't contribute questions but listened to the podcast because it made it feel so alive again for me and really the fact that we were in conversation about stuff that of course I think really matters but clearly matters to you too, to listeners too, just makes all the difference so I'm hugely grateful. Thank you.
Thank you Becky and if you love the book do pop a review on Amazon if that's where you bought it Goodreads if you bought it somewhere else, because that will mean other people get to hear it. And do stay in conversation with Becky Hall through LinkedIn, Instagram and Twitter. Thank you, Becky, and thank you everyone for listening. Thank you so much. Bye. Thanks, Claire. If you've enjoyed what you've heard today, we'd love you to share the podcast with a friend or leave a comment on social media.
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