The ChrissieCast: Jane Hall and Chrissie talk Instagram "meanies," online shopping fails, and play a game of "What's in the Belly Bag?"

Good morning, good afternoon or good night. You're here with me at my house for the Christy Cast live from the Compound.

And this seems to me becoming a habit because guess what date it is.

It's Jane Hall Day. She's fresh home from a paid holiday from London, Lucky Dog, and she's ready to talk about Instagram meanie's online shopping fails, and she's about to counsel me on my newfound pyromania obsession. Christy casters, please enjoy the perfect annunciation and glorious chestnut mane of my good buddy Jane Hall. Welcome back, my sweetheart Jane Hall.

Thanks for homemie. Sorry, I've I've still got a mint in my mouth. My breath would kill a brown dog. Really, yes, I'm afraid so, so don't come any closer.

Actually I'm a bit dry in the mouth. I feel like a cocky Yeah yeah.

A little bit like bottom of birdcage. How have you got any glasses? M lovely? I do? This is the debut. What do you think? I think? They're like a more elegant version of your Jeffrey Darmas, aren't they? You are correct? Is that why you got them?

Actually?

Let me have a look, are they you? Titaniums? Believe they might be Look at you getting old posh with your lightweight material.

I'm really trying, and you know this podcast is the only time that I can debut new looks.

Well, I'm loving it. You look divine And I'm sorry about my mint.

That's fine. I've got a little bit of a cold, but you're fine. You would have got it off the plane exactly. That just happens.

That is exactly what happens. Those germy little crates in the sky.

And you're back from old Blighty.

Yes, I've just been to London. How was it? It was great? I went on another Luxury Escapes trip and I mean, this is the best. Sorry, but if you could dream up our job, it would be this one.

Listen, I've just got to ask ye, when do you still have management and all that sort of stuff like they call you with that sort of thing?

Soorry, can we just very dare you do? I? Sorry? Let's just do you think I'm that washed up? No, that no one will represent me? An, I feel like is this where we're going?

No?

I feel like Luxury Escapes is the sort of company that goes direct to the talent. It doesn't, does it. No, I'm wrong.

No, you're wrong. I still have people that are in charge of this glittering career of mine. I mean, I don't forgive me. Actually called me once every two to three months with some news of some employment.

When they called your mouth out, that's not how I implied it. But I'll take that. I'm sorry, all right.

Get back to the question.

When your manager called you correct and said, do you have time to take a call from me? Make your lowly assistant? And they said, how do you feel about luxury escapes? Did you go giddy up? I said, who backed out?

Nah? That is exactly what I said. I said, who backed out? Who can't they get? So I'm obviously on the list of replacements anyway. No, no, no, And look I'm because it's always my I always come from a place of I'm crap.

Yes.

So it turns out, no, they actually wanted me because I'm reasonably good at this sort of off the cuff sort of hosting stuff and just being myself. Right, Okay, I'm just myself. There is no one better. Oh, thank you, But I try not to, like take my Instagram for example, there's no bells and whistles on that thing, I will part post some nice pretty photos because the way I like to use Instagram is just light, fluffy. Here's what

You're doing exciting stuff that you want to share exactly like all this amazing overseas travels.

So I thought, well, my peeps who I love, who are always kind to me on Instagram again, I love to see that.

And they're kind to you on the Christy castinsa page two.

They love you. We are so lucky our viewers, you and me. Yes, we have yes, the most lovely people.

I agree, and thank you so much.

Thank you from the modo of my heart because it always makes me feel lovely when I read kind comments. Correct. Occasionally, though, something happens that takes the winds out of your say oh yes a Meani Yeah. Now I don't usually get this, but there were two occasions where people were mean to me and go I quote Grandma Lisa, which is, if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all. Sees what I try and live by.

I agree.

But also there is a great quote from Steel Magnolias where I know what you're gonna say, what a film? What a film? I'm a Jane.

I want to guilty, guilty. I want to watch it again and again. I want to watch it with you.

I want to watch that scene where Sally Field goes I was there when she came into this world. I was there when she loaned, oh my god, I'm great now.

And also Tom Scarett still would having said that, I think he's still.

Magnolias is approximately thirty five years old, so he might be rip, he might be well, I.

Have built that up.

But Olympia do carcass. The character she plays is magnificent.

Yeah, Clarie Clarie, Clarie Clail, Cherie Bail.

Dolly Partons in that she is because that Dolly Partons the one says I'm a chain when her husband buys her a second beauty business.

And her character's name in that film is.

Oh my god.

I'm going to be so excited when I find it Waite.

So yes, Sally Field is Miliyane Millianne, and she is the mother of Shelby.

Shelby and Olympia is Clarie. She is Clairie Donna Partners, Truthy Truvi, that's Rat and my favorite character in it, Shirley McLane.

The hard bit and old. Can you remember what was her name? Weezer, Weezer, that's right here, slap her you and I we're gonna watch that.

Weezer and Truthy.

Also, hang on a minute, I'm Weezer.

Yes, you're the cranky one, okay, But like I could be other characters.

I could be Milyanne. I'm like, yes, you could be Malian you know, because I'm a beautiful maternal type. Yes.

Daryl Hannah in it, a nil a nail.

Remember she was all kind of coy. She was really shark. Yeah, and she had the.

Glass and then and then all she had a metamorphois. She was a great beauty after I know, sadly it happened because a man fell in love with her, which we know is a trope that we reject. Yes, wholeheartedly reject that, But I digress. The greatest quote from that film, Steel Magnolia's go with the wa is Olympia Juke kirkis who please? The rule of Claar says, if you ain't got nothing else to say, you come sit by me.

What a line? What a line? But I try to say kind things to people, you know, along the lines of you. And I will never ask anyone if they're pregnant, because the only time you ask someone if they're pregnant is if.

You can see the baby cut, little hairy slickhead coming out of the little the never region slick hole.

That's the only time. Did you just say, Harry slick hole? I did, Welcome to the show, Harry slick hole. Hm. Anyway, let's get back to Instagram.

What did somebody say to you? And what was their name? And let me track them down.

You know, because what I did is just is just delete and block after hot tears had sprung to my eyes.

I know You've got to get better at that, and delete and block before the tears. Yeah, and you never think of them again, think of it again.

One lady said to me, you know, how dare you? Today is the anniversary of the Port Arthur massacre, and all I can see is your show off ee post. And I was like, I care, I care, I didn't know that. I'm sorry that that, I'm sorry that that's happened. But show offye all I'm doing is advertising something that I've done, a job that's mean.

And also mean. We no one can put in their diary. We're reminders for every tragic event that's ever occurred.

And you know, you just you'd fill up every single bloody day.

And also, here's the thing, what she's saying is right, yeah, something there is an anniversary of something bad every day. Yes, your job is to bring joy.

And I was trying to bring joy.

Correct you knew, even if you knew that it was the anniversary of such a heinous event, bring your post still stands. Hey, all of this awful stuff's going on in the world, Look at my lasagna exactly what that's.

My motto, or in my case, look at the palm tree. And that's okay. And then another man said, and this is a man and he goes this, this site, this company, obviously many luxury escapes. He's becoming incredibly tedious. Get rid of these nobodies.

Very wow, I was what, also, that doesn't even make sense?

Why Roy Brad Greg Kevin Larry Mervyn Graham.

Okay, we'll go with Gray.

That doesn't even make sense. How so, how are luxury escapes and nobody? How are you? And nobody?

Like he was Insinua?

Somebody? Graham's right, Graham. Everybody is somebody, and even your dad, even small minded little dick facing. That's mean, I know, but.

I should have said I should have said bottom face or something.

Did you block and delete?

Block and delete all the way? Block, delete, block delete, But that's that's seriously the only two times that I've ever had a mean comment. See, I find them, and this will not be a surprise to you. I sort of love them, why because I find them so funny. And you also don't care. You've got that thing where you don't care if someone doesn't like you. I feel fine with it. I truly don't know. I know it's one of your superpowers.

I think it is, and I think I was born with it. I think I was born I don't think everybody's born with it. If they have it, I just don't care. And the best comment I've ever received on Instagram was was one word, and I had posted a walking pick because I'm always walking and I recommend it. If you want to give it a go, start with five minutes, put your owners on. And I was joyous in this moment out walking because that's what happens.

Now.

Well, now that I can't drink, well, of that, I can, I can drink ALCOHOLI and.

You choose not to. And you've also got gone off the dark cokes.

Correct. And also because I'm following this very boring Golden Girl's anti inflammatory diet, it also means no, well, I'm supposed to not have any sugar, but I, oh, I do, come on, shame, I feel like, because you know I love those the Allen's Party Mix, the retro party mix.

Now you do, I've seen it, and great that you've got of it.

Yeah, that's right. And I keep it in a giant container on top of the fridge, and I feel like I don't know what it is. If I I shouldn't be having sugar because it goes straight to my bulbs is terrible. But I feel like if I'm standing up and eating it straight from the container, it doesn't count.

I don't know what parallel universe you're ind with that nonsense, but the lies we tell ourselves indeed, anyway, I was walking and I had this moment of like serotonin, dopeman and dolphins everything. You were so happy, so happy on life.

Yes, yeah, And I took a photo of myself with a big grin.

Right lovely like this because no one grins like you.

Baby, and I posted it and everyone was like, you look so happy or whatever, and I was happy.

And then one woman just wrote one word neck with like two exclamation mircs.

And it remains the funniest thing that anyone has ever said to me.

Because yeah, it was not looking like it was.

Yeah, it looked old or something, I guess, but I'm fifty.

Of course my neck is old. The neck is never coming back, sweetheart.

I't just tell you that capital medals neck exclamation mark.

And you did you because the way I know you is that you would then take a photo of a close up of your neck and send it to her as a DM.

Oh no, I like to comment, and followed her, I just love it. I want more of that please now, as you know, I am a I'm doing what I can in the Cozi lives in the cost of living crisis.

No, I didn't even know what that stood for. Then what do you call it cose he lives, he lives. I've been in a lifestyle crisis for about a decade now, I don't know. I didn't realize it had gotten worse than You're a pro. Oh mate, I am anything any way I can save money, I do. Do you see?

I'm quite new to it because I have been in the past a spendthrift, a frivolous spend thrift, feeling like it was never going to run out. But it turns out it does, it does. It does.

Turns out you've got to turn your heater off at some point in the room. I've started doing that. Wow, I wow.

Scream at the kids turn the lights off. I send them mean text messages after they've gone to school saying I just turned off fifteen lights. Does anybody listen to me? Around here? You're I'm making my own life of bread loaves of bread. You know, as previously mentioned.

Also started buying lots and lots of things in bulk. And your freezer is now jam packed. It's like you're waiting for the end of the world.

Yes, yes, because if when things are on sale, I stock up.

Okay, and look, you can do that because there's one hundred and forty seven people live in this house, but there's only me really at my place, and my daughter comes and goes, but really there's just me. So I haven't really gotten into the freezing things. But I just, well, you don't need to know. I'll just eat a dirty bit of old sausage that's got freezer burn and be done with it.

And as we previously mentioned, multi grad can you stop buying multi grained toast if you intend to eat it with a sausage?

Just why sausage in bread? I stand corrected, Okay, yes, and we don't need to go over old ground. Please continue, can you live?

I will get back to the Cozi lives in a minute, but I just want you to tell me because I just feel like three kids are so many.

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, people do have more. They've gone completely bonkers.

But they do have, but like to parent them and earn all the money for everything.

Look, things got out of hand with you, do you know what I mean? I mean, first of all, there was Leo, and that's great. One kid's great, I'm all for that. Then all of a sudden geared me and then so quickly Peggy within eighteen months it's just like all of a sudden, Oh no, she's pregnant again, she's breastfeeding something again. I just don't feel you gave it the requisite thought. Oh no, I didn't give it anything. No, no, no, absolutely not. There through all those years, just thinking is

I was talking to somebody recently about conceiving children.

Yeah, and look, thankfully we were able to do that. I know, yeah, But.

Talking to this person, I was like, oh, was it a conscious decision?

Oh yeah, that so this person had charts up, yeah, temperature, and they cited the scheduling time with their partner, and they sat out when they could take their matt leave so that it end up with their long service leaves all this sort of stuff conversations, like conversations that sounded like is this a good time to have a baby or should we put it off? I never never.

Crossed my mind. I just rolled with it, baby, Steve Winwood start.

You certainly did, and we all rolled with you. Yes, yes it was.

You know, it's been it's been a big time and barely remember any of it. But I just want you to tell me that the end is in sight, and you know I will one day not have to buy Home brand double vinegar in sets of six.

In order to clean things. Yeah, it does. They leave home, So what's so? What's it like to live on your own? I can't imagine it? So peaceful and my very very favorite thing. Where you leave something is where it's going to be when you come home. No one moved anything, No one messes with your things, no one goes and borrows any of your stuff. Everything's everything is exactly where

I have started to preemptively eat what I want to eat for dinner.

So how you can do that? Because each of your three children requires a different menu, or mean you need you Grandma Liza?

Yes, well, yes, there are different menus, particularly for breakfast. Yeah, they have three bespoke breakfasts, which is something I wasn't expecting when I gave up breakfast radio. So I do that.

We never had breakfast with any of them, did we. We didn't know what they ate for breakfast.

I have because I've done. I did breakfast radio for twenty years. For me, yeah, twenty years, and LEAs only fifteen. So I've literally never saw my kids before school. And to be honest, you know that I'm a soft and silly hearted mother and it is my favorite time of the day. I really love it that they are the first people that I get to interact with, and that I am the first person that they get to interact with, and I really like it.

I like that too, but I don't like the idea of being some sort of short order cook.

I know, and particularly kid who loves eggs. He has a rotating the first question. He's always first up, so he's the first face I see in the morning, which I couldn't be happier about. Kid there the care gentle giant, and I always say, good morning, darling. What's on the wheel of eggs today?

Eggs?

And sometimes he wants dippy eggs. Sometimes he wants a poached egg. Sometimes he likes an omelet. Sometimes he likes scrambled, sometimes he likes fried. Sometimes he likes squashed squash. Yes, which is hard boiled and then rapidly cut with a butter knife with butter, and then he spoons it out onto white buttery toast. I mean it is a good time to be alive for kid.

The Yeah, absolutely indeed. So I got to do two other breakfasts.

Yes I do. Peg has the aforementioned homemade sour dough with a light scraping of goats cheese.

Why would she not?

And also that's got to be toasted on two on two on the on the toaster. Yeah, now you tak barely. It's got to bet there minutes, so you know when you're toaster, when it goes one to seven, that's how many minutes the toast is cooked.

For who toasts anything for seven minutes?

Though I do. I'm crank it all the way up.

Yeah, bit a charcoal peg is just like a breath of heat, Yeah, breath of heat and a scraping of Meredith Jerry goats cheese.

And then Leo Hitting sometimes likes a French omelet with goats, cheese, and sometimes skips breakfast, particularly if he's had a Greek feast out with his mates the night before on public transport. But I digress. I make them dinners. Obviously, that's my job.

Yeah, you're the mum.

I mean, FYI, everything's my job. But said, no, I'll make them dinners. And for years and years, I just never It wasn't like I was putting myself second or third or fourth or fifth or whatever. I just never considered that I would eat something different. I would just eat what they ate. And then I sort of looked at it and I was like, I don't want to eat this. Actually,

I know how you do. I bet you fold it? I do you do fold it? Do? No? And I will eat that with them.

Yeah, But it's something I really like, that's.

Really nice that you've realized that it's all I can do. I just never got to that point. You've been ahead of me on so many points in the parenting journey. Well you can't. You don't know too. We know that's right.

And also I found that it's a big deal for me to claw back a little bit of agency. Kids don't even notice that. Don't give a shit what I eat for dinner.

No, they don't.

They're not like, oh my god, oh why are you quicking enough for us?

And you're adding this? Yeah, oh, where's your time? A going off?

Because I've got to go to my real dime.

Don we talk for too long?

No, I want to talk about online shopping files because in this cozy lives, if I see something on sale and I can buy five of them to get free postage, I will.

You're going to I absolutely will. Okay.

Now, I had a notion that I needed a stripey top because I'm mad for it.

I made a stripey top too. I want a black and white stripey top.

Oh my god, do not make the mistake I made. So I found a yellow and white stripey top, which is very hard to find.

And you know that yellow is my coolor yes, it is in honor of your nan. I found it online and I thought, this is amazing. It was from a Japanese retailer Heremuji. Yes I do, but I know how this is going to end.

So they have gorgeous things and when they're on sale, you buy them and then you wear them for two hundred years.

Yeah yeah, yeah, they're very good quality.

And I found I couldn't find anywhere anywhere a yellow and white stripe top. I found one at Muji online.

Has it got a nasty sort of boat neck? Oh my god, it was so gorgeous.

No, it was just a standard long sleeve because I got to get the fliboidas in it. You know, it was just perfect. I was so excited, so excited for it to arrive, rare yellow and white. Well it arrived. I picked a size. I was like, oh, Japanese size is a weird. It's not me the more extra large or anything that we understand. You know, when you buy something from overseas or someone gives you something and it's like a size thirty eight.

And now what does that mean?

What does it even mean?

Mind blown? And then the UK.

Size is a difference to the US sizes and Australian size.

Japanese they make really tiny clothing because all the people are really tiny.

Oh my god, what about super Dry? You buy an extra extra large it barely fits a toddler. It's crazy, it's crazy.

Super Dry is not in my.

Super dr See I've got groovy kids.

That's not in my well. Sorry, hang on, I'm not groovy just because I don't dress in super Dry.

Well no, no, no, I don't think super Dry is for women of our vintage.

But it might be okay, good.

Actually, you can wear whatever you like, thanks very much.

The top arrived and I've got it here for you. No wonder it was so cheap. It was.

It was.

It's eighty centimeters.

It was six dollars, and I just was so thrilled to myself.

Idiots, I bought three. We don't even know anyone with little kids anymore. What are you gonna do it that?

And you said it's eighty centimeters That's what.

I thought I was buying. I think it's eighty millimeters. Maybe it's just eight centimeters.

It's for a baby that is eighty centimeters long.

It's for a twelve month old. Baby to place eleven kilos looking and it's so darling. I would give anything to try and see you get that over. Your noggan can look how gorgeous.

And of course I have the ultimate block if something arrives that I've bought online and it is wrong and I'm stuck with it.

Don't you never send anything back to you? How do you they give you like a slip in there a return? I know you pain almost exploding right now, but there is a way that some darling little family with actual babies could benefit from getting that top back.

I tell you what, Chrissy, casters if you like the look of this top.

If you've got a little baby, why don't you get in touch with us? You could have one of these.

I mean also, if your babies are the size of my babies twelve months, they were born newborn size, so you know, only little ones as as per society rules.

As they say, Oh dear, but isn't it nice we can give back in the Kazi lives? Can you believe it? That is so funny.

I was wheezing and my excitement when it arrived, the Moodie packaging. I thought, oh my god, I am so smart.

I've got off because the packaging would have been really small.

Yes, it was.

When immediately when you saw that, I would have been alarum bells.

Alarum bells were going off. Yes, but I can always talk myself out of it.

Can be okay, yeah, probably folded up really small.

Well, And in fact, I do think I buy things and then I forget what I've bought, and so everything's a surprise for me. When the Mooji parcel arrived, I probably went, what have I bought from me? I can't remember, Dory, aren't you completely always have been. I've been so excited to tell you this story, Jane. Something you're still on about, still loving the tiny T shirt story it is that is priceless.

And the thing is that I know you so well. I can see this on your computer. I was like, what I found it?

I found it six dollars, bye bye.

Bye bye.

And I saw the eighty and I thought, oh, that's funny. So I think, I don't even know what that means, but eighty sounds big, and like dec eighty sounds big enough for me. Yes, but imagine how perfect it would have been if it was ten times a bigger. It's so cute. It reminds me of shrinkies from the eighties.

Objective? Okay, so it's a very subjective means you can have different views on it.

Right, Well, then I don't know. Self care is what do you think myself? Oh?

If you want to say, it's subjective, meaning that it means to everybody, it means different things to different people.

Yes, subjective, okay, Well, self care to me is a very subjective thing. Yeah, and it can involve laying still, it can involve pumping eye, and it can all of.

These and you don't mind that anything goes.

Yeah, yeah, but I don't know. Self care fel is very cheesy as a term.

I wouldn't say it in a million years. I wouldn't say it.

Well, my latest self care is burning shit.

Yeah, you have turned into some sort of evil pyromania.

Have you noticed every time you come over the outdoor fires.

Going going, and like, I don't know what you're burning, but I feel like the kid's prep artwork is not safe.

All that has that gone? Oh that has well and truly gone. Everything has gone tacks, things, real estate, things, bank, things do maybe things should have saved. I did check and they were all seven years old or more and also recently, and I can't stop. For example, I am itching.

To burn that, to burn all the research that I've put on the table here that, yeah, and I will do it before you.

I know, the fires on downstairs, absolutely obsessed.

Jumper stinks of it, that's right.

Oh yeah, I always smell like I've just done seven weeks in. I'm a celebrity. To get me out of here again. So it is my new self care. And I'm burning stuff all the time. But I noticed last week that I was getting low on firewood. Oh right, And I just cause he lives, I can't get it from the servo because it's four times the price that he girl wants to.

Pay two hundred and seventy dollars for four bits of red gum.

So of course I open up my Google and I do shopping comparisons, and I find a very reasonable delivery service. Yes for red gum is to come to the house and they will stack it old stack it.

Normally they just lump it in a no, oh, they'll stack it.

I stacked it fifty dollars, which is pretty good for half the time. I know. I think there was a mistake there, but anyway, I'm expecting it. At ten am, doorbell goes an old guy called Angelo is there. He's about five foot one, it's about sixty five years old. And I realized at that moment that something has happened where I have paid this beautiful no no, no no, to stack my wood pile like a big fat capitalist that I am.

You did you hang your head in shame? The guilt? Yeah, was palpable.

Yeah, he came with a truck of wood heavy half a ton jane and a small trolley.

No was he going back out into the fields to sew his crops afterwards as well? I just it's shameful of you, I know, But I wouldn't help it. Well, I didn't know.

I thought a wood place would have two strapping kids called you know Brendan that you know that would come or you know, or we're just doing this in the school hall or whatever. You know. You sound like your son, I know, I did.

I'm just well that's what I was imagining. Ah, two strapping lads.

Yeah, instead like Leo's friends Ziony and Kappa.

Yeah, they would have come and they would have dropped that they would have dropped that wood for your hands. Stack that in like ten minutes.

I was not expecting Angelo with his twisted.

Little hands and n old hands, tiny red trolley. No, shame on you.

So I tried to make it easier for him, and I said, there's two access points in this house. See which one is easier with the less steps.

Yeah. Right, he's not in firm, but what you were just trying to make sure he didn't have to go up to many steps. Yes, he was on his own an old man.

Anyway, that's not my decision. It's his choice and his employer's.

Choice, unless it is the fact that he runs the actual business and does everything, does the job, lot of everything.

No, he doesn't, I asked him at the end, because I said, Angelo, I feel a bit guilty about this because you're still here and it's twelve midnight.

You know you've been taking you fourteen hours? Yes, and I'm just feeling a little bit guilty about the fifty dollars chart.

No. Before I left for work, I said, Angela, I'm a bit I've only paid fifty dollars for this, and you've already been here a long time? Are you? Is this your company? He said? No, No, I'm paid by the hour. Anyway, I'd found fifty bucks cash in my thing, and no one uses cash anymore, so I slipped it in his pocket, much to his horror. But it made me feel a bit better. But while he was ferrying the timber, I was, of course overcompensating.

Did you make a cake? Oh?

I felt so guilty. I offered him a beer. I offered him coffee off and tea, all of which he declined. I talked to him about his weekend. I was just so desperate to be kind and to make him know that he was worth something valued anyway, Murphy, you know my dog? Yeah, around the house whatever. At this point, I've already got the fire guy because I'm a paramaniac, and he is stacking Angela's coming to and from the

You wanted him to go away with happy mems. Yes, I did do.

Anyway, He's putting his little broken trolley and his bow legs up into the up into his truck, Jesus Angelo. And I've got my back to Angelo and I'm feeding timber into the into the fire, loving it. And I hear him over my shoulders say, GE's your friendly, aren't you? And I said, well, thank you, Angelo, Yes, I do try to be. He was talking that Murphy, my cavoodle.

Who are friendly? That's to be said. But you answered him tees you free? You friendly, aren't you?

Yes? Yes, Angelo, I do try to be. There's no excuse not to be.

Angelo.

And then I look around in Murphy's like jumping all around him, and he's clearly talking to my dog.

Keep poor darling. You were on just high near catalog, I know, you know.

And then I was like, oh, Angela, of course, Angela, you're talking to.

The dog that you're talking. Oh thought you're talking to me. I wanted to pointed out that you didn't lift a single finger to help him carry a bit of wood. Though, no, you're right, I did not.

Well, I'm not paying fifty bucks for nothing or haha.

Actually it was a hundred.

It was one hundred in the end, and I feel like that's fair.

Yeah, okay, but I mean, look, for all this faffing around, you still didn't help. I could have been friendlier, could have been actually helpful. So you can imagine that your face was the first face I saw. Gee, you're a.

Friendly, aren't you?

Thank you? Angela? Do you want to play?

I mean, am I crazy? Or do you want to do a round of What's in the belly bag?

Why wouldn't you? You'd have to be mad. Not to you'd have to be mad. Although I get nervous about this because I never know what's going to emerge from it. I think you'll know this one, do you do?

Of course? I've got my belly bag here. I call it a belly bag because you wear it on your belly, and.

I understand.

Please open up the belly bag, Jane Holland. In it you will find.

A thought starter, a little inspiration, an amuse boosh, and you will an amos boche to see if it kicks off any kind of memories for you. What is it?

Is a piece of paper? And what is paper? You're unfolding it? Who is it? Who is it?

It's our goddess, Stevie Nicks. It is our goddess. Oh my good bag. Okay, I want to take you back in time to when you and I went to see.

Stevie communed with our high process of tambourine.

River and she did not disappoint. Do you remember she had a variety of percussion instruments.

And she had been sober for at least two weeks.

And I won't lie. The very first thing we did is we had to procure me a large tumbler, a very warm, very cheap white.

Wines, small, small correction, both of us. You procured a giant what are they called? They're those pink the red American cups, cups, the red cups that everyone called.

I don't know, but the teenagers in America have them and kids have them at parties. Oh my god, I was looking.

I was just googling that big red cup America and it said big red volver, big red, big red pimple volver.

Oh no, that's not what I got from backstage at Stevinnie.

No, hang on, a second big red plastic cup cup party cup America. Oh, it's called a red solo cup, a red song.

Yes, they sing.

Songs about it. I can red neck America. So you procured a giant, absolutely disgusting cup of wine at this concert, and I think.

To this day it's the worst white wine that I've ever drunk, and I will drink anything.

The reason I remember it is and it was warm. Yes, it was disgusting. The reason I remember it, and the year would have been twenty eleven, Yes, because it was the first time I'd been out of the house since i'd had Kit and I had him in August to twenty eleven, and I was still breastfeeding raw.

Oh, that's right, because I taught you the pump and.

Dumb you taught me. I'd never even heard the pump and dump, and I thought, if I'm ever going to pump and dump, it is tonight with my hot girlfriend Jane Hall, in the company of my high Priestess of Tambourine Ribbons, Steve Nicks. So I drank that wine and I remember getting home and squeezing my boobs into the.

Sick get rid of it. And it smelt of that disgusting one like pure wine. Did you keep pumping into you could just smell not the wine anymore. Yeah, it was a lot, as it's turned out. Get this absolutely finally, don't have to worry. Well, kiddy never got any of that. That went down, the scenk, down the gurgle. That's right. But anyway, I'll never forget the moment because we were actually in the steven Nicks mush pit. We were at

I was in my late thirties. I was thirty eight and my tits were leaking. And also I was not allowed to drive at that stage because my Caesar scar was.

Still it wasn't healing. That's right, because we took a car. Remember, yes, but that's one of your pet hates, trying to find parking. You know, we got straight to the front door. Correct, Thank goodness, you've had that many children and saved us on a number of occasions. So we get up to the front and out she comes and she is, Oh, she is glorious. Her mane is flowing, she looks brilliant like the sober woman that she now is, and her voice was magical, and she cranked out all the hits.

I had these little tiny, heiney, witchy pool almost keyring sized lace up boots.

You know what they were.

They were novelty footwear. They were novelty foot anyway.

So she has the novelty feet, and that's where were on that eyeline. You had one stage and I can't remember the song she was singing, but I've got goosebump singing out she was. She started like, I believe it was stand back?

Was it? Dad?

Back? Start back in the back in the middle of my room from you? It's alright, are right anyway? So she starts reaching out to the crowd. Now I'm small, Yeah, you're quite tall. Yes, I'm tall and big and with big hands. You really have got big hands. Yeah, I've got tiny bilbi Bilbie's they are like a bilbie paul, which is a native equivalra a rabbit. Yeah, I'm reaching up with the Bilbies, Stevie Stevee, because she is people

You have forgotten what I did. No, it was the ultimate act of love and self sacrifice.

Oh, because it was.

She was reaching for you, Stevin X was reaching for me.

Yep, she was reaching for you. I could feel.

Your desire next to me, and I could smell your chardonnaye breath that I grabbed with my long arms and my big hands. I grabbed Stevie Nix's hand, and then I grabbed your hand, and I placed your hand in Stevie Nix's hand.

And then I looked at your expression.

And you were wide eyed with your mouth open, looking Stevie Nicks in the eye, and.

She actually sort of crouched down a little bit to like make I know you put my hand in hers. And that really was one of the nicest, kindest things anyone has ever done for me.

It was the ultimate act of love.

What was it?

It? And you ever paid me a hundred fold not no, in small part by agreeing to be one of my regulars on the Christy cars.

Thank you, I mean, you have done so many many kind things for me as well, including giving me one of my very favorite birthday presents in my entire life, which was a smashed vaz. Do you remember that? So the Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away. I love you, I'll see you next month.

By real talk, did you think something had happened to the recording equipment when I revealed the tiny Baby top? I bought my mistake and Jane couldn't breathe from laughing. Ashally, do you want that top? Do you have a tiny baby? I could send it to follow me at the Christy cast, then slide into the old DMS and I'm going to send it to you. Newborns need only apply till next time. Chriszy casters and spoiler alert, the next episode is so