The ChrissieCast: Ben Lomas is Gold Medal Comedy

Ben Lomas is pure sunshine and a life enthusiast, a lover of huge laughs, saunas, camping, luxA and the absurd. He's also a stand up comedian, gold Medal behind the Scenes TV guy, actor, TV presenter, and giver of the best hugs of all time when he speaks English with the Dutch accent, I am weak, chrisy Casters, please meet the adorable Ben Lomas.

It's great to be here.

I was going to ask if you could just give me some Dutch.

Now, well, I'm just gone back from all this and it's great to be here, and a lot of people are looking at mere going who the fuck is issue?

That's how they say think. They say furk better than fuck.

Is there anyone in your life that loves your Dutch accent more than I do?

Ticking inspectors, ticket inspectors love her? Yeah, what do you mean, toll, Because there was a period where in my twenties when I just had no money and the ticket spaces would come on, they'd ask for my ticket and I'd be like, I'm having such a wonderful time here in Sydney, having no one stop it, stop it, let you off, And then they're like, Na, you need you need to be you need to get a mic, you need to tap on tab off. And I'm like, I live in a big house of cheese and I used to just used to.

Is it the only time? Would you ever bring it out?

Oh?

Sometimes I like to bring it out when I'm talking to the children and they find that they're really really annoying.

Well, I love it. I don't find it annoying at all.

Yeah, you love it, And it's because a lot of people don't.

Because if you're listening to this in the car right now and you hear the Dutch accents, you may possibly know a Dutch person.

And I think we can all agree they're crazy. They're all crazy.

Absolutely, My mom's crazy, all my family and home it's crazy.

Maybe that's why I like it, because I too am crazy.

Absolutely, I haven't.

I haven't, And I've only ever had sort of like experiences with Dutch people's secondhand. So like a guy that I did Big Brother with twenty years ago, Dan mckinnis, remember with the pointy hair.

Nobody remembers mckinnit's was his dad's name.

His mum was Dutch and then all her brothers obviously as well as Dutch. And I used to beg him to sing a song about ice cream in a Dutch accent that his uncle used to do.

Uncle Bol, And for hours.

I could just listen to him going, I scream your scream. Everybody likes ice cream, baby, there's what we like.

And I just I just love it. It's my favorite accent.

Well, it's also when you hear, when you hear when it's a really thick accent. So when my grandparents used to come to Australia, they would come every two years in the eighties, yeah, to visit us because we migrated from Hulli and we'd get our grandma and grandpa just to we get them to sing songs just in a Dutch accent. And so it was just like listen to my olm, I just go blue blue blue stets shoes, blue blue blue shoes.

Like it's like any song, like it's so funny and with the r's and p's.

So we used to make my grandfather Opa say goody, goody good.

I love making older people say stuff like.

Performance it's amazing.

When I was a teenager, me and my best friend Beck used to be in fits of laughter forcing my mum, who's very proper, to say pussy.

And we would trick her to say.

See, that is so much fun.

It's so much fun, and she wouldn't because they don't understand what's funny and gnawy about it, which is half the joy of it.

Absolutely, So we.

Would say things like you know, mum say, or you know my friend would say, Patty Swan, Patty Swans say, you know, my my pussy is fairy, and she'd go, my pussy is fairy just the way she'd say it absolute heaven or just when.

I love it, when I get like especially, my grandparents would order like home. Once we were kids, they went to McDonald's and we never got McDonald's kids. She had those parents, and then we went there with Obama and they were like, good, I please against a ski junior buggers.

Three junior buggers.

Speaking of your connection with Holland, you and I recently had a conversation on a TV set that I have thought about every day since, and then you've been on holidays and I've been on holidays, and we haven't really had a chance to regroup after unpackaged what you said to me. And this, I'm hoping is your surprising story that you've prepped.

Yes it is.

It's fresh in my mind at the moment because I'm trying to unpack it myself. So I just I went to I went to Europe. I went to Europe. I went to.

Sorry, sorry, I went to the home land.

You made the field.

I went back to where I was born.

And so the whole plan was I was going to take my partner and the kids back to Holland to go visit my grandmother who still was the only remaining sort of family member there. I've got some other lots of very close friends there because I've lived in Amsterdam. You know, I did UNI over there. I managed a nightclub. We don't have time to get to do that. So anyway, so it was all planned so for the kids to meet their great great grandmother.

And what dates were you planning?

So we're planning to go mid September last year, and the plan was, yeah, just we booked it. You know, we've got some cheap and when I say jee, Dill's about to take a mortgage on these flights. But that's the way it is at the moment. Anyway, So I get a call from my mom going, hey, I know you're leaving in seven weeks. You should give Omar a call. I was like, oh, well, what's up. She has no reason anything, should probably give you a call. I was like,

She just wants to tell you her pussy is fairy pussy.

Thank you, olm olm.

Then and so, anyway, so I get a call from my olmer. Now am I almost ninety two years old? And her name's Tinny. I call it Alma Tinny and she's like and then I think, context, I'm going to do her voice in.

A Dutch accent. I think it's fair. It's yeah, hi Ben or who kat?

Which is hello?

Have are you?

And so we just started chatting and I said, hey, look really looking forward to seeing it, really looking forward to it. Kids are looking forward to it. She goes, I've got some bad news. I won't be here. I said what, And she goes, are you going to go away? No, like we've planned this, and she.

Goes, so you've planned for midst temper to go and see her. When is this conversation.

Occur about six weeks beforehand.

July is July yep. And so she calls up and she lets.

Me know that she won't be there, and I assume she was going away and she goes no to let me know, She goes, I've had enough, I've booked in euthanasia and I won't be here. I was like what, and she goes, yes, I've decided enough's enough.

I want to go out on my terms.

What does she mean? Enough is enough? Terminally? Ill?

No see?

And I love this. I love this for two reasons.

I just can't get my head around it.

I know, but no one can. Like there's only two of us and we know each other really well. And Wade's over there going you can feel his Sphinx to Titan.

Right.

It's in this country the idea of euthanasia freaks people out right. And it freaked me out because I was like, hang on, what do you mean? And you don't get to choose, You don't get to choose. And there she made the decision that she wanted enough, and I was like, this is a terminal.

She goes no. I was like, is it? Do you have?

It?

Is? Like? I kept asking what's wrong? And she goes, I've got a dicky knee.

Like I was like.

I was like, and she goes, no, I just don't want to end up in a nursing home and I'd like to go out on my terms.

And she goes, I know you're coming, I know you're coming.

Couldn't she have waited?

On?

I was like, why couldn't you wait?

But she couldn't, and she had it in her head that she wanted to do it, And so I didn't know how to react to it because it felt surreal.

Power an agency of that decision is breath taking it.

It's crazy, and for context, it's not like you can make that. It's not like getting the haircut, and just for contexts, you can't just go, yeah, well you know, I get their haircuts on Wednesday and then on Thursday.

So how does it work?

So you get two doctors, you get two doctors that work in that area, and they're the ones that assess you. If they both agree that it's the best fit, then you can go ahead and do it.

Couldn't I don't know.

It just sounds like she was tired or something. I have felt like, if there was an opportunity for me to end it, I probably would have taken it in the last tea, but I was just tired.

And this is the thing. That's how I first reacted as well.

I was like, you know, it couldn't be the sort of neat maybe she needs different medications.

But about a physio, not a blue needle.

But what was interesting is that it took weeks.

Like there's also checks and balances, so they went back and then asked her if she was still up for it, like she then speaks to a councilor like.

There's a lot of checks and balances leading up to it.

But the bottom line is it's still okay to make that decision for yourself based on the fact that you can't be bothered living anymore.

Well yeah, and the fact that you want to go out on your terms, like and I think above a certain agent Holland they allow that, which is amazing.

How long has this been the case in Holland.

I think it's been for many years. I don't know.

Again, like I've just come back from holidays.

It's fresh in my head because I've started writing about it and trying to unpack it myself.

Because my first reaction was.

The same, why god, you wait, yeah, we're coming. I haven't seen you because of COVID, I haven't seen you in seven years. But I think she felt so strongly about it that you know, enough was enough.

And other people in Holland as shocked by this or is it like growing up in Australia where you just know that vegamite is a tasty treat, you know what I mean?

Like culturally, did.

We just compare your phenasia do a yeasty spread? Yes?

We did, because people who don't live in Australia think it's weird and they don't understand it.

But we've grown up with it. It's part of our DNA.

So is this cultural absolutely a concept that accepted absolutely?

Like it's amazing to me it was.

I spoke to a friend of mine who who like was.

Say, because I was sharing this with Australian friends and friends of ours and then blow their mind. And then they'd also just go, you know what was the last phone call? Like like like jokes coming thinking fast when I was explaining to friends when I went over there and she'd already passed, it's so normal and that's what I found so amazing. I was like, of course, this progressive country and with all its flaws, right, It's just

But she decided to let us know. I love this.

They were having Christmas Eve dinner and she decided to let them know.

Yeah, on New Year's Eve, I'd like to go.

And they're like, well, it doesn't work like that.

Six days notice, six days notice.

And in the end, of course, it was a couple of months because they but she thought in.

Her head the blood red tape, I know, Nanny's yeah, well what an extrawdinary restore it.

But also like, if I think about it, I was gutted. I was gutted because I wanted to see her. Of course, last grandmother. I wanted to see her, and then and then so but then what was interesting was the last phone call.

The goodbye was amazing.

It was so surreal, but also just the conversation we had it did feel like the last one.

Did you want to record it? No?

And that's the thing.

I didn't even think about that.

I'd finished work. I just did it. I just did you know a forty.

Five minute comedy set, had a great show, and then I set aside. This time she didn't have a phone, so I couldn't a video call, so it was just voice to voice, and in the end it was kind of beautiful, Like it was probably the nicest goodbye I probably will ever have to anyone passing.

Yeah, it would have been.

I'm thinking to my grand who I absolutely adored. And the advantage I guess of knowing when she was going to die would have been I would have given I would have had the opportunity, yeap, to have that conversation, whereas as it was probably the last time I spoke to her was yeah, I'm bored or whatever, you know, like a really pointless conversation because she died suddenly with no notice and I never really got the chance to connect with her and tell her what she meant to me.

Yeah, And that's whether this is the future in our country.

We were able to step aside and be able to do that, But if it's if we do it more than.

It's given the results of the recent referendum, I'm guessing that we're not really that progressive.

Well, we're not, and we.

Have a long way to go right, but maybe there'll be an opportunity where those kind of changes will occur. Because when I had the conversation Chrissy was it was just it was amazing. I said, I said to hey, say hello to old Park because I was very close. It was closer more to my open than I was. But say a load to him. I miss him on the other side, on the other side, right, and a load to your sisters right right.

You know there's no such things right.

I was like, she did you went to church?

She did do it. I was like, just respect and she goes, wow, is there another side?

She had a couple this here's it was like, come, what were all those sundays?

Like you get right to the end of.

You start questioning it now like and then I loved it because then I made I was like, I was like, because I was awkward and I am, I go to thing you know, comic is to make.

Light of it, I said.

And her sister would never stop talking like her sister on a maino would just keep talking. Right.

And so my old pa and she lived next door.

So when I when I used to go visit was always would just have to listen to her sister just talk and talk and dog And I said, well, I think I think both of them are looking forward to you coming up there because finally Obah doesn't have to listen to.

You would love that.

And I gotta giggle, I gotta giggle.

Like right, she laughed.

And then as we wrapped it up, and this is what was so sur real, like you know, and like the joke's coming, thinking fast. Every time I tell someone knew, they're like, how did you end the phone call? Is that?

Did you know? You hang up?

No? You hang up?

God's so so bizarre.

And then because I remember the phone call was nineteen minutes and thirteen seconds, right, and it was bizarre.

It was I hadn't planned it. I just knew i'd call, but it just didn't feel like it was going to.

Be the last one until we finally said goodbye, because then we said goodbye. And then the next day, literally twenty four hours later, my kind of my auntie over there equivalent, she sent through a photo of her holding her hand and she'd passed.

Wow.

And it's so funny to think now because I went over there and spoke to the extended family, and it just it felt like because I hadn't seen her in seven years.

The phone call kind of was.

A really nice way to say goodbye rather than saying goodbye in person. I know that sounds weird, but it's like that phone call which in my head before I was I'm gonna have this discussion, I thought it just wouldn't it wouldn't feel I wouldn't feel anything. And then after thinking about it, I was like, it was probably one of the as goodbyes I've ever said to anyone

Your great.

Trust.

Comedians every dark angle, every dark angle can think of, they just they keep coming, And because I want to turn it into like a live show, I just want to unpack it even more every time I think about even this discussion now, I.

Just haven't realized how important that phone call was until just talking to you, right, because I imagine I didn't have that.

It's an extraordinary gift to be able to.

Know when the person and to go out on their terms.

Yes, you're Australian yes and Dutch yes.

Where do you culturally lie on the concept of voluntary euthanasia for yourself?

Oh? If I have a chance, I would love to go out on my own with my family around me. Might do a bit of a comedy set before I go.

Out, because nobody wants to end up like Flossy Dickie.

Do you know Flossi?

Diny know who's Flossy Dicky?

So it's a great name.

She turned a hundred and she was in a home in America somewhere, and the local TV station heard that this woman was turning one hundred and sent a very chirpy news presenter out to cover the story.

And there's this fantastic.

Grab of this very old, frail woman sitting crumpled in a chair with this very perky American woman next to her with a giant microphone saying.

You're about to tune a hundred, Flassy, how do you feel?

And then Flossi looks straight down the barrel and she goes ums ol. Then the news reader says, Oh, I'm sure you're daying, flas, but aren't you excited about the party that we're planning for you?

And Flossy goes not one.

Bit lovely, Hio.

My gift for Flossy would have been the same treatment that your Omar was able to take advantage of.

What an extraordinary story.

It is, and I every day I do think about it.

It's time to play Shaky money Maker, Ben Lomass. How long have you been working in this business?

A full time? I'd say now I'm coming out to ten years.

So you must have done some very questionable things for money. Shaky money Maker is a segment where we talk about the strangest things that you have done for some filthy Luca. Okay, you takes some time.

Well, as a comedian, you're like, it is hard to say no, right oh yeah.

It starts with a yes.

Yeah, yes, yes to every gig, absolutely yes to every gig, and there are so many.

The ones I enjoyed, the.

Thet you just go through, you go through, Okay, you go through the stage deserve Yeah that was twenty bucks.

There was okay.

So one of my first ever paid gigs, right, was on a Yarrow cruise in Melbourne, right and so Booze cruise, a Booze cruise, and it was my first paid gig and it was a comedian from Perth called Janelle Coney.

Oh I love you now, right, and.

So this is my first gime. She was, she was she was emcing headlining at the same time and this, and she was when I met her, she was still in Melbourne and she was running these workshops and she says, I've got a gig for you, and anyway, we're on this and her and so I'm going.

To use your gig. And she crushed it. She was, but I just.

Didn't know what to do, and and so she opened the show with it was a great joke. She owes the show, got the guitar, and this is a rowdy bunch of people, right, And she goes.

Living drunk since o'clock in the morning.

She goes, Oh, I know, I know what the I know what. I know what the girls are thinking. Oh, beautiful red dress. I know what the guys are thinking. Oh I hope she does anal right and one of the best, still one of the best, right, and absolutely just crushes And then I go up there, right and I get nothing. I get nothing, and all I'm thinking about, Oh, this is my first paid gig. I was like, I'm getting money, right, And I bombed, like people stopped looking.

Can't get off the boat.

So I go to the back of the boat and I just stand in the corner. And I remember one guy comes out and just looks at me and goes, yeah, should probably have another PM.

Oh my god, he didn't think of stealing her line when nothing was working, and saying, I know what the girls are thinking.

I know the guys are thinking.

I was so fresh, and she and I just remember, I remember, I haven't thought about this in so long. It was the first time that pop into my head. But just be confident. I just was so I was so young. I just didn't have anything.

How much was in the envelope at the end of it.

I think it was like it was something like forty dollars or twenty dollars.

I remember it was that were red. There wasn't many of them.

A couple of lobsters, a couple of weirdly more than you're getting for this ye, but.

It's it's amazing, Like I still because I've waked on a lot of television shows that have been canceled after three episodes where you're just like, Wow, what's going on? Or then you'll say yes to a corporate gig out in the country and only you know, four farmers show up and you're like, there's only so many, so many times you can say what do you.

Do for a living?

This element of what you do for a living just inspires such awe from me because I could do that once and never again. I could never feel that worthless over and over again. It is the most extraordinary character trait for people that work in your business.

Because when, especially at the start, it toughens you up.

Because it's quite often you can go on to it with comedians who don't experience that, and some of them are liking enough to gang. Before you know it, you're famous and you're doing theaters right, and so you don't. But it's so funny I think about those gigs building up to them becoming a frecial cament.

That are some of my favorite moments because when you're.

Backstage with a bunch of comediences, which a lot of your friends and our friends.

All we talk about is those gigs. We don't talk about the ones that went well. We never do. They're boring, that's work. We talk about the one.

Time where there's you know, there's just a whole bunch of hecklers the front row, just absolutely just having the worst.

What's the most brutal heckle you've ever had?

Ah, the most brutal one was. I was doing a corporate function. It was a concreting firm or something like that.

And already, I mean, I'm going the way of Omar, Like immediately, That's what I would tell the two physicians that examining me.

But I think I remember that one because I was getting nothing. I was getting nothing and against the tendon of marketing, and somebody yells out, he goes, hey mate, if you don't get funny, we're going to kill you. Now.

I thought, oh, yeah, I thought building concrete, I'm not going to kill you.

Yeah.

I was like building concrete. I was like, I can use it. I was like, oh, what are you going to do?

Right?

Cement my feet together and throw me in the bay.

Right.

I was like classic Riffin, take that, stay down.

And then he just goes, oh, no, mate, just by looking at you, you'll seek just fine.

Oh my god.

And I was like, I got this is the most perfect tackle.

I hope that you took the two pineapples all lobsters you got from that gig and gave it to that man.

The only I said yes because it was a good pay. It was like that was when I started getting it a little bit more.

Is good pay To turn up to a replace and be threatened with murder?

Well, it's sobody at the time. You don't think.

You just think because that's the thing that falls you when they're at cash. And I just want to say, I've never taken a never and all my income is with the A thank you very much. But if they if they are, if those ones.

Around, but they're far and few, you've heard about it. You've heard about them. Because it's funny because I think, I think.

About those gigs and then and then I think about my first job. And then I was just talking about just come away from all those one of my best mates and we just talked about that. We used to we used to deliver papers like everyone.

Right, Oh I didn't.

But it was just like at the end of the weekend. We never knew how much we get.

Paid to what I did. I agreed to do a paper round. I've never told anybody this. I agreed to do a paper round and hot on it. Like they're at the news agency. Very early, loaded them onto the bike onto the rally. After about four minutes of delivering these pamphlets. They were brochures like for super AMR or whatever. I thought, this is fucked.

I am not.

I'm not doing this for four dollars at the end of the day. So I just took them all to a rubbish bin and threw them in.

Yeah, they've been a lot of people angry that they couldn't read the odd spot I need. You know what's It's funny because when I did it, it's the guy. We just talked about it because my best man was really good at it and I was the worst. And the guy John, if you listen to this podcast, you know who you are news agency. I'm at the down Street North Carldon. You hated me because every time I'd come back and I have a flat tire. Every time

Bad tradesman blames the tools.

There was a nail like three inches in the tire.

He goes, that's not good and I just pulling it out and watching the tires go.

So that paper round actually cost you money?

Absolutely? Absolutely.

Speaking of jobs, previous jobs, current jobs, you and I met, I don't know where we met.

Actually, this is a really good question. I don't know if it's when I came first time to be interviewed. I think that's I feel like that was the first and then we weren't done a show together.

Yes, well you and I work on the mask singer. Yes, and now is time for a round of what's in the bum bag?

Ben Lomass?

What's in the bum bag?

Sting? Sting?

What's in the.

So? I am now going to open the bum bagy? Okay, here we go there.

Please describe to our beautiful podcast is what is in the bum bag?

The Lomass is.

A model of the Titanic.

And why would that be in the bumbbag for you?

I don't know. Are we even allowed to talk about this? Yes, we are one hundred percent. You've got you've given the okay, No, I don't think I've.

Think given the Okay, tell it.

I don't think I can.

I've told it on air.

You've told it on air.

Okay, really, so this is the Tonay and I believe this was supposed to be a costume on the Mussinger.

Is that correct?

Correct?

This is amazing.

Please describe what happened when you and I put two and two together, well, live in front of hundreds of people.

Well, because we were going to show, we realized that in the who was.

The person Brendan Fava, Which, to.

Be fair credit to you that you even knew what the freaking You're very good at guessing.

You are you like, it's a superpower.

It's a superpower. But also you just seem to know people's voice extremely well. And so we have this question that came out and what was it called the captain?

The captain?

Okay, the captain, the captain. Like that's weird because the captain looks like a ship that's upside down.

Yeah, but the captain was very festive. The captain came out, he sang who he was. He absolutely was a giant ship, but he was a fair star, the funship kind of guy, right, and he had festoon flags and he was dancing around a stage that had a suspiciously shaped sandy hill and lots of people dancing around in bikinis. But there was something not right about the Captain and the set.

It looked rushed.

But also, but it's so funny because it's hard to then look at in hindsight, because behind the scenes there was a lot of Oh my god, what's going on? What's going on? We need to do it, we need to do it now. We don't really hear that. We don't hear that. I hear it a bit more because I'm coming in and I'm a backstage.

The first time that we knew about this new mask the Captain was when he was unveiled, And right at the moment that we realized something wasn't right about the set, you and I locked eyes and laughed laughing. I could hear you squealing over he baby. Why were we laughing?

Because we just realized that they had to quickly change it from being a Titanic to something else.

They couldn't do the dynam with what which what happened.

To affair start the fund ship? Yes, because the week before the what is it called the submarine had exploded underwater and killed everyone inside going to the Titanic.

So bad quick but to their credit.

Amazing work, amazing, amazing.

Work because what they had to do is they had to quickly think and all departments yes, which was this is why we were laughing to laugh. It was like the quick thinking, the ability of wardrobe to change it correct, right, to change it. But then my favorite it is the quick thinking of the PROVS team and shout out to them because no one knows, no one knew, no one knew.

The day the submarine exploded and sadly killed everyone on board, it was a tragic story. Everyone was talking about it. The Captain was due to arrive on set, not as the Captain, as the Titanic. The set was a giant iceberg. The dancers around the Titanic were originally dressed as you know nineteen twenties people that were boarding the Titanic.

Can your attention to dtail's phenomenal This.

Is my favorite part. The Captain previously known as the Titanic had a large train of frothy sea around him, and sewn into that frothy sea were tiny little dead bodies which had to be expertly clipped off so that the Titanic could become the Captain fair Star the Fundship Vibe.

Then very quickly.

The iceberg had to be painted in sandy colors and a big palm tree thrown on it.

And that's because I remember so vivially because I was like, oh, well, then, what was beforehand?

Because we knew it was such a qick dinner out.

And that's why I was amazed, because it was a stroke of genius because it was a gigantic assberg.

Then got sprayed completely yellow.

And just add it and again I guess this is what they get paid the big bucks is Then I don't know, a palm tree just appeared in the middle, and I was like, that is amazing.

And you can just see them backstage going yeah.

Yeah, you got it, yeah, absolutely, and especially I can't remember her name, but she was just absolutely I remember there was just someone colored half in the yellow because they were just still going just to make it look like an island, which it did.

Which it absolutely did. We just sensed there was something, but don't.

You find it though?

On all the shows you wrote Dad that and this is where like, because we're quite often there at the last day on the record day. The amount of effort that goes into even putting anything of any someone production, especially something like that. It's just the amount of effort from every department just to get to the fire. What people see at home, I sometimes I hope they realize.

How hard it.

I know, the person power. I've never seen so many people in studio blacks in my life.

Yeah, it's amazing. Shout out to them all.

Shout out to it, because it's not an easy job.

Were he in television?

Just question though obviously they had to pivot away from the Titanic because of that tragic story. Riddle me this, though, Is it ever tasteful to have dead bodies sown? Like the story itself is a very sad story even originally?

Yeah?

I know.

I mean that's actually a good point. I never thought about it that. I mean, I never saw the original costume, so therefore, I mean I can't I wouldn't know it.

You almost saw it very close. Okay, here is your chance. I don't even know if you've prepped. Yes, if you haven't, you don't need to do it.

No one, Okay, all.

Right, here is your opportunity, Ben Lomas to ask me anything and by anything, I mean anything go hard, balls out.

Balls out.

Okay.

I spoke about this as my partner and I was just like, oh, what could you ask it? And my original question was, but just because you've changed it, like you're just like anything, because I want to know, is there anything in your in your twenties that you did at the time thought was great but deeply regret. Right, That was my original question because I'm fascinated by that because only because you know, we've gone from laughter to seriousness and I think that's what this podcast will be.

Know that, like, yeah, it's a bit of a miracle, actually, I think yeah.

And it doesn't happen often because there's a level of trust in this industry which sometimes can be I guess like challenged time. Yeah, And that's why I feel so comfortable with you, and that's why I got excited that you asked me to do this because let's be real. I'm not a huge name. I'm not, but it's you like to focus on people being interesting.

Yes, you're very lucky to be here, Ben, I agree, So let's get rid of that question.

Yeah, because I don't really believe in regrets.

Probably, if I had to answer that question, the first thing that came to my mind was how I behaved when I ended my first serious relationship in my twenties.

Okay, I'm not proud of that.

Yeah, how I acted and how I treated and all of that. And I've grown since then and he and I are a really.

Great friend totally.

But yeah, that's probably the thing that stands out for me in my twenties. What I regret, I just wasn't very kind. I didn't follow my instincts. I did what I thought you should do when you break up with someone, which is be a total bitch.

Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah.

And it didn't feel right at the time, and it doesn't feel right now. And I'm really grateful that I've had the opportunity over the years to say that and make it better and take all the good because it was a seven year relationship, super important from like twenty years old to twenty seven huge time, and I was able to gather from the furnace of hatred that I left behind all the good bits.

So I'm fortunate and as much as I was then going to bring it back full so fear is you were able to have that conversation. Yes, And I think that's the biggest thing, that you actually can have that conversation.

Yeah.

Because I was able to have that conversation with my grandmother. Yeah, I was able to say goodbye to Omar and heal anything that we had, not that we had anything, because she's my olmer. But I just I think so often, so many people don't have that conversation and then either they pass away or they're just stuck with it for the rest of their lives.

I think people are afraid of talking.

And I've got a rule that if someone's got an issue with me, or if I've got an issue with someone, which is very rare, I won't engage on text message. Yeah yeah, to try and sort out a problem. I'm the first thing I say is call me, let's have a time, because.

A vicious text volley is not it?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, And more often than.

Not, I found that no one agrees to actually speak.

And especially in text message, it's really hard to convey a Dutch accent.

It.

Ben Lomas, thank you so much for joining me. I love you so much.

That was a that was a roller coaster.

As if you were not first on the list to come and play with me on the Chrissy Cast. I would have let you here yesterday, but you know you were busy living your best life on your dead almost money.

Thanks Ben, Thanks